SVP Talking Terps & Tournament, Russ Wilson and Jameis On The Giants, Hot Seat/Cool Throne And Listener Submitted Guys On Chicks
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On today's part of my take we have our good friend Scott Van Pelt talking about his Terps, talking about the Sweet 16, getting ready for some more action coming Thursday and Friday. We are

our brains are back. I feel like we're going to catch up on everything. We missed bad job by us. We didn't talk about Jamis to the giants. I know on Sunday, that's hand up accountability. We're going to kind of clean up everything that we might've missed when we were in our four days of college basketball. Uh,

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Okay, let's go. BOM!

A.W. Hill.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. The fun of basketball season continues with the most fun way to play fantasy sports. Pick 6 from DraftKings. Download the DraftKings Pick 6 app now and use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to play $5, get 50 in Pick 6 credits. Better payouts, bigger wins, only with Pick 6 from DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Wednesday, March 26th. And boys, I feel like my brain is back. Had a night of sleep.

We are post-March Madness for opening round, ready to catch up on everything. Got hammock people mad at me? Post-Madness clarity. Post-Madness clarity. I feel like I'm on the right side of history with a hammock take. I went out, had a nice little sit on a hammock yesterday morning, got some direct sunlight in my eyes like you're supposed to start. That's my morning routine. Chill on the hammock, get the UV rays.

I did do some research, though, into how dangerous hammocks can be. A lot of people die. I think that this is a product of the media. This is big mattress. This is big mattress trying to steer you away from hammocks. They put out all this stuff. Relative to what? Anytime somebody dies in a hammock, it becomes a big news story like a shark attack. Hammocks are more afraid of you than you are of them. Tom Fradelli, our good friend, said that it's actually safer. Less people die from bear attacks than sleeping on hammocks in a year. So it's actually safer to sleep on a bear than...

than sleeping on a hammock. That's a fact. My take is that some of us aren't pussies, and it's extreme sports. It's like extreme sleeping. Listen, I said it when I said it. I knew it was a controversial take. I wish I could be a dainty little boy like you and be able to get into a hammock. It would be nice. I wish you had a modicum of...

coordination where you could sit down and stand more people die from obesity every year than sitting in a hammer so maybe it'll be so fat that you can get in one and you'll be fine that's a good point also you were so wrong on all your furniture takes but that's fine no i mean that's your your spin zoning this is classic big cat 101 no it's not i did get people mad and i think my words were again misconstrued by big cat what about outdoor furniture i had my dad was very mad at me i had a few people oh so this is my fault yeah kind of okay

I like outdoor furniture. I do. I just love hammocks. Yeah, hammocks are great. You said that you don't like outdoor furniture. No, no, no. Yes, you did. And you also didn't understand how it works. No, that's... You're getting Big Cat 101 to get hammered. I know. The argument was about hammocks. He's moved it to now you're wrong about outdoor furniture. Also, the original argument... Which you are. Hank is wrong about outdoor furniture. Yeah. But you're also correct about hammocks. The original argument was just hammocks are overrated, which I stand by. I think they are overrated.

I think they're rated in a way that is like they're the peak of comfort. I don't see that. I did go deep into hammock Twitter and hammock Internet yesterday, and there are a lot of hammock message boards and people just like rate my hammock setup. I've been sleeping in a hammock for five years now. I'm trying to get my girlfriend to sleep in a hammock to any recommendations for how I can get her to. That's kind of weird. Yeah, there's a lot of weirdos out there. All right. So outside of that,

Some of the stories we missed. Well, we should update. We have more drama from UConn because after their loss to Florida and Danny Hurley yelling about the refs, it turns out that the SID for UConn told the reporter who took that video, I will ruin your life if you don't delete it. And he did that in front of a bunch of journalists. Bad move. Bad move. Did he include them on a group text? I don't know. But here's the thing.

Dan Hurley, I'm fine with Dan Hurley. Because if you have a problem with Dan Hurley, then you have a problem with college basketball. And winning. Because if you go back throughout the years, you've got great coaches who are always on that line. They can be kind of assholes sometimes, especially if they lose. He wins. He can be intense. He can be an asshole. That's who he is. Good for the sport.

Also, the SID probably shouldn't threaten somebody's career for taking a video in a public place. The SID fell into the trap where it's like, you're not that guy, bro. Like Dan Hurley doing that, I kind of find it would be kind of funny. Yeah, the SID is trying to basically become a duplicate of Dan Hurley. You actually have to be the opposite of Dan Hurley and be overly nice to people.

and clean up, you know, him yelling, not just go even more Dan Hurley and be like, I'm going to ruin your life. You've got to go good cop, bad cop. Right. Your job is just to be the most likable person ever. Right. Even if you don't like the journalist, you've got to be like, hey, I know you're a great guy. My job could be in trouble if that gets out. Would you mind taking that down? Listen, do you want some front row seats? Yeah. You want to get Rico Bosco's phone number? So yeah, the Dan Hurley thing, because there was a lot of people crashing out about this on both sides. And I...

Not shocking. I agreed with our original take that we don't care. I especially don't understand. So fans are one thing. If you hate UConn, yes, you're going to say Dan Hurley's a baby and pick at that point because they've won, especially if you're a Big East team. No problem with that. You can be like, I don't like Dan Hurley. That's fine with me. That's part of sports. That's what makes it fun. Fans of UConn, you got to defend your guy. So those two sides, like great, great spot.

I don't understand when media people are mad about Dan Hurley winning and losing the right way when it's like he makes sports more interesting. That's been our original point. If your job is to talk about sports, I want more Dan Hurleys. I don't want people giving cliche answers. I want more Mick Cronins. I want guys who have, you know, good or bad sports.

Like some type of personality that is not just, you know, we're going to do our best out there. We're going to try our best. And if we don't win, we're going to shake their hands and go on to the next one. Bobby Knight. Bobby Knight was an asshole. He was also a great coach. Jim Boeheim. Jim Boeheim. Dickhead. Also a great coach. I think Dan Hurley...

If you look at the last year of Dan Hurley, through the last tournament, he was the story. He gave people in the media a lot of stuff to talk about. When he was deciding if he's going to be the coach of the Lakers or whatever, that whole span, he was leading all the news broadcasts. He was leading every single sports show in America. What will Dan Hurley do? He makes your job so much easier if you're in the media. You should want guys like this around.

I think that Dan Hurley goes over the line, but that's why you have an SID to pull that back and to apologize and say, I'm not to draw more attention to it and be like, fuck you. Right. There also was like this idea that Dan Hurley has because he won. He is now acting more bombastic. That's just someone who doesn't know that Dan Hurley's been this guy for the whole time. He was a high school coach in doing this. He was screaming at people at,

Wagner at Rhode Island. This is who he is, and that's why he's good at his job because he plays on that edge. To reiterate what you said, if you're a fan of a competing team, you should hate Dan Hurley. Yes, he's a prick. Look at how he's treating everybody. Lean all the way into that. Saying he's a dickhead, I'm not going to disagree with. Saying he's bad for the sport, that's just stupid to me. Sportsmanship stops at Little League.

That's really what it is. When people are like, oh, you got to win class, you got to do this. That shit is not for high-level college basketball, high-level pro sports. I don't care. I want bad losers. I want people who crash out when they lose. Show me a good loser. I'll show you a loser. You know what I mean? But that's the thing. Guys like me and Big Cat are good losers. And there's a reason why we've never won a championship. I'm a bad loser, and I still haven't won a championship. But this is...

And then I did see Jay Billis, our good friend, great friend, agreed to disagree with him on many things. I think he said on the Dan Patrick show that Coach K never was a bad loser like this. I got this a few times being like, you would have criticized Coach K for this.

There's a difference between Dan Hurley and Coach K, and Coach K would never do this publicly because Coach K pretended this sheen of, I am the classiest guy in the world. Coach K was also a psycho addicted to winning. That's probably why he's the best coach of all time in college basketball. Yeah, I said that. And...

That's also why I hated him because I knew deep down he was Dan Hurley. He just did it in a different way, and he had the media all sucking him off and being like, man, he's so classy. When Coach K goes to Dylan Brooks in a handshake line and says you're better than that,

That's him very upset. When Coach K goes into an opposing team's locker room after a game to talk to the players, that is being such a good loser that you are the worst loser. Yes. That is him as upset and as bad of a loser as possible. It just looks different, and he does it in a way where then he gets in front of everyone and says, that was a moment where I had to teach the other kids. Damn.

Dan Hurley just does it in a bombastic way and he wears it all on his sleeve. He is all heart, like I'm just going to yell and scream and do all these things. And if you're saying that this is ruining college basketball, and we did, there's been a lot of hand-wringing. I think we took part in a little bit of hand-wringing on Monday talking about is NIL ruining the tournament from the Cinderella aspect. The ratings just came out, Big Cat. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

And? The best viewership since 1993. Wow. Averaging 9.4 million viewers throughout the second round. I want to... I said it on Sunday. I would like to see more of a sample size before I say that all Cinderella's will never have a chance again. Yeah. I know that this tournament has not had Cinderella's, but we've had... Obviously, NIL's very new, but last year...

Jack Colkey beating Kentucky. The NIL era was going on then. So I want to see it a couple more years before I say that college basketball is dead. And I, you know, yeah. Would you like more? You know, games are a little bit closer, of course, but I think we're going to get some good games on sweet 16 weekend. Yeah. So Sunday in particular was up 13%. So people are still watching. It's Dan Hurley effect. Dan Hurley. Also maybe Duke.

Duke Baylor was a big one. Kentucky being in. Kentucky, Illinois. Kentucky, Tennessee is going to be a huge game. Big brands. Yes. It is funny. You mentioned it, but on Sunday, Arkansas is the last Cinderella. Yeah. Coach Cal. Crazy, right? Coach Cal is probably. It's. Yeah. Oh, by the way, hand up.

Arkansas is a basketball school. Had a lot of people say that, that we got that one wrong. I think that's fair. Obviously, they care a lot about football, but they have more tradition in basketball, and they throw a lot of money at basketball. So my bad, Arkansas fans. I think that if Arkansas, they want to be a football school. But I think they're okay with being a basketball school. They're fine with being a basketball school, but if they got really fucking good at football, and they would just be like full SEC. Yeah. What were you going to say, Matt? Stance on the Mormons.

What do you mean? They're still Mormon. They're Mormons. Yeah, no, the Mormons were upset that they weren't on one side. We had them rated correctly. Listen, I'm going to be a Mormon on Thursday because I'm rooting for them to beat Bama. I don't know what you want me to say. So, yeah, they're still Mormons. Unless they don't... I'll tell you what. If BYU fans, if you want to be put into a different category, you have to...

disavow Mormonism and then we'll take you out because otherwise it's idolatry right otherwise you're worshiping something besides the Lord so yeah you're still Mormons do you have Mormons getting mad at you Max is that oh yeah Mormons are mad well it's actually a compliment we're saying that you put your faith first right some of them were happy they were like oh this must be this must mean that we're both football and basketball so you're more Mormons yeah you're 27 years old and you're in school

And you look great because you've never touched alcohol. I'm starting to think. I'm honestly envious of Mormons. Are BYU fans not going to class? That was as straightforward as it could be. BYU Mormons, that's what you guys are. That's not good or bad. That's nothing. That's just we're putting you in a camp, Mormons. In solidarity with Mormon people, I will live my life as a Mormon on Thursday if that's what it takes to have them beat Alabama. Do you know what that entails? I will do it after 930. I'm going to soak so hard on Thursday. You can't have coffee.

I'm not going to have coffee. I am. I'm not going to drink alcohol. I'm going to soak. What else? You can't fuck? I'll get married twice. You can't be in a room with a woman?

I don't think. I think you can. We're just digging ourselves back into the Mormon hate. The Mormons are going to be even more angry at us now. But again, the point remains. We are rooting for you guys on Thursday. I can't drink coffee, but I think I can do that thing where you make your own drink out of Dr. Pepper, heavy cream, coffee creamer. The dirty sodas. Yeah. I'll make my own dirty soda in a stand-up. We should do those for...

for the game on Thursday. It's just 100% sugar. Although, but it can't have caffeine. We have to get caffeine-free sodas. I think some can. I'll go diet Mormon. I think some are allowed to have caffeine. It is kind of bullshit. I don't think any of them are. I think they're all caffeine-free sodas. I think it depends on what the head guy does. Whatever the Mormon of the month is that's running the religion at the time, they get to dictate. Yeah, Keir. Praise Keir. That's a severance recap.

Okay. By the way, opening day is Thursday, and we're going to have Jeff Passan on Friday to talk baseball. Did we want to do quick who's going to win?

Just predictions that we can not remember unless one of us gets it. How we obviously do this every single year. I assume people are not new to PMT or listening right now, but we basically just say who's going to win it all. And then if one of us is even remotely close, we're like, hey, memes, can you get that clip for me? Yeah. And then everyone else just ignores whatever our bad predictions were. Yep.

So, yeah, my prediction is Dodgers win the World Series and they win 125 games. Yeah, I mean, that's... You like that? Their roster is incredible. You like that? I think it's going to be Pods-Red Sox. I'm excited for Alex Bregman. Padres-Red Sox? Okay. Probably the most excited for a Red Sox season...

I've been in them in years. Socks. Okay. Okay. I mean, I want to take the Dodgers, too. It's very chalky, but if you look at it. You can't copy me. But you purposely said it first so that nobody else can say it. The Dodgers are going to win the World Series. That's just it. That's it. Fast forward to October. Congrats to the Dodgers. You won again. Magic Johnson, one of the best owners in sports. I'm going to say Dodgers in five games over...

is very important. They're going to beat the Red Sox. I guess I didn't say an AL team. I'm going to say Dodgers over Rangers. Classic. And Dodgers win 125. Actually, no, Dodgers over Phillies. Well, Hank doesn't respect Shohei. That's clear. Phillies are... Both of those teams are... Oh, yeah, Phillies. Dodgers over Rangers. What I said. Dodgers over Phillies in the NLCS. There you go. Dodgers over Rangers in the World Series. I think the Washington Nationals are going to sneaky...

for a wild card spot. That's my wild prediction. They won't be out of it in September. The NL is pretty loaded. Nats are going to be good, though. Good young guys. Okay, what's your prediction, Max? I'm going to go Phillies over the A's in the AL. The A's are going to make a run. I know, which would be so disappointing that it happens in Sacramento. There's no chance, but it's fun. It is fun. That was very fun. Memes, who you got? Mets over the Tigers. Whoa.

What do you mean, whoa? Tigers, yeah. I can see the Tigers. Scouble. Scouble. Cy Young. Praise Scouble. You pumped about Soto? Yeah, fired up. Memes. What happened with the Islanders last night? I saw you tweet about it. I really wanted to have access to the part of my tape Twitter in that moment to tweet some memes about you. It was probably the worst call in NHL history. Oh. They called goalie interference, even though the goalie reestablished himself.

Islanders scored with nine seconds left. Wood got two points over the Columbus Blue Jackets, both fighting for a wild card spot to play the Capitals. And we got absolutely hosed, ended up losing in a shootout and lost one point.

I was heartbroken, memes. I'm heartbroken just listening to that. I saw the replay. It didn't even look like he was in the crease. His body might have been in the crease, but his skates looked like they were outside, right? Yeah. I mean, he was in for a second, but the goalie was able to reestablish himself. It just didn't make any sense.

Brutal. So now you guys are fighting for the last playoff spot? Yeah, we're fighting. Fighting hard? Fighting real hard. I can't wait for playoffs. Me too. Very excited. If you agree with Big Cat and PFT about the Dodgers, you could bet most regular season wins by any team over 106.5 for plus 150. I think they'll get there. Already 2-0. Yeah.

Yeah, it's basically kind of a gut check, heart check. Dodgers, you want it? You want it enough? You have the talent. You want it enough? Go get it. Okay, so we did miss Jameis to the Giants. That rocks. I don't know if he will be QB1. I think they're still shopping. I think they're still shopping and looking around. If they draft a quarterback, then I think Jameis would probably be QB1 going into the season. Yeah. We got to figure out what we're doing with the song.

Yeah. I have two options that I've thought about. Okay. Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston and Hoboken. Okay. Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Soho. Soho flows a little bit better. But they play in Jersey. I know. They practice in Jersey. This is big. What about some Sopranos? Satrioles. Satrioles. Down in the meadows.

Yeah, there you go. James Winston in the Meadowlands. I don't know. I like where your head's at. Yeah. No wrong answer. We'll think about it. Mall of America? No. Or what is it called? What's that mall? Oh, the one that has the water slides and the ski thing? Yeah. Right across from the stadium. It's something amazing. Isn't it Mall of America? No, it's Minneapolis. I don't know what it is. Oh, American Dream? Yeah. Yeah. American Dream.

That mall's crazy. So, yeah, it looks like right now we have musical chairs going on. Aaron Rodgers spent Friday at the Pittsburgh facility. He is going to also go visit the Giants. There was a report out there, which is very funny, that Aaron Rodgers, I think Albert Breer had this, he said that, I've heard Rodgers is looking for a culture such as the one in Green Bay.

Okay. Which is so funny. Spends two years with the Jets, and he immediately is like, damn, I didn't know what I had. He's looking for Green Bay. Yeah. He wants to go. He's like, I fucked up. I want to go. Yeah. Take me back, please. Yeah. There's no other culture like Green Bay in the NFL. Steelers would be closest in terms of like.

You know, consistently in the picture, long, you know, history, all that stuff. I tweeted this out on Friday, but I firmly believe it. This is a good window into Aaron Rodgers and the kind of guy that he is. Yeah. He spent six hours. He took up six hours of NCAA tournament Friday meeting with the other coaches on the Pittsburgh Steelers, like the entire head of the coaching staff, the big guys. That's a selfish move. Yeah.

That of all days tells me Aaron Rodgers only cares about himself. Yeah. There is also a very funny article on Pro Football Talk, which is talking – I think it's in reference to a different article here. But basically there was an article in Pittsburgh about the fan backlash to Aaron Rodgers and whether or not the fans will appreciate Aaron Rodgers in Pittsburgh. It was just kind of letters and emails from –

From Steelers fans. Okay. This is a good one. My 81-year-old father said that if Aaron Rodgers comes to the Steelers, he will ruin the heart and soul of the team, and it will never be the same again. Whoa. Maybe that's a bit dramatic, but he's talking about the honor a player should feel for the privilege of donning a Steeler uniform and representing a team that has a history that is intertwined with the citizens of Pittsburgh. Whoa. I don't necessarily disagree. Yeah. Ruin it forever.

It will never be the same. He could. It might not ever be the same after having Aaron Rodgers for one year. Yeah, I don't totally disagree either. Because Aaron Rodgers will become the Pittsburgh Aaron Rodgers, not the Pittsburgh Steelers. Yeah. I still think he's going to go to Pittsburgh, though. I do, too. If we get to the draft and Aaron Rodgers still hasn't made up his mind and then he calls the Vikings and he says, I've thought about it. I'd like to come play in Minnesota. Do you think they know? Do they take that call? I don't think so.

I think they're in on JJ McCarthy. And then we have Kirk cousins who also, he could be a stealer. He could be a Brown. He's waiting. Cause he doesn't want to go somewhere and then have the team draft a, uh, quarterback in the first round and then just repeat what just happened this past year. I learned his lesson the hard way. So he has a no trade clause. Uh,

And so the reports are he might wait until after the draft to fully make sure. Because I do think that if he gets traded before the draft, it will just happen again. So I actually don't hate the fit for Jameis in New York. No. He's going to throw a million deep balls to Malik Nabors. It's going to be fun. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, the Jets, are you a little jealous, Memes?

Extremely jealous. Yeah. Jameis New York is going to be a good time. I actually also think the Giants are going to be sneaky team next year. They have some good players and aren't that far away from being not a bad team that Jameis might take them over the top. Yeah. I am devastated that he's in my division.

Devastated. Yeah, that does suck. You have to watch that. Watch him have so much fun. Yeah. Okay, breaking news. Breaking news. If you're watching the YouTube right now, you can see that we're no longer sitting in studio next to each other. We're all at home. Hank's in his car. And...

It's 6.45 p.m. and Russell Wilson is officially a Giant and Stefan Diggs is officially a Patriot. Bang, bang. Was eating dinner with my family and the news came down. We'll start with Russ.

I'm bummed for Jameis, and I also think this might be, if NFL films can figure out a way, I need a full documentary on this entire season because the Giants QB room now is Russell Wilson, Jameis Winston, and Tommy DeVito. And I have to watch that. It's great. Yeah, but what offseason? I guess we should say, like, what offseason to the offseason?

It broke. Everyone thought that it was going to happen days ago that we get some news about Russell or about or about digs. Turns out they happened within like 10 minutes of each other. Russell Wilson to the Giants to me feels like a wife move.

Do you agree? Was this Sierra? Sierra was like, Hey, I want, I lived in Pittsburgh. I went to Denver for you. Let's do something for me. It's my turn now. Listen, I know that Russell Wilson statistically is probably a better quarterback than Jameis Winston. If you're the giants,

Jameis has a ceiling. Russell Wilson does not. He has... Russell might have a higher floor. He might not throw as many picks, but that's part of the problem with Russell. He doesn't take any risks. He doesn't throw the ball except for checkdowns and down the field and along the sideline. I would be bummed if Russell Wilson gets the QB1 job coming out of camp just from a, like...

if you're enjoying football sense. And I also think that if Russell Wilson plays the whole year, the giants are destined for six wins. And if, uh, James Swinson plays the whole year, the giants are destined for four to 12. So this is, it's interesting. Cause like with those two quarterbacks, they couldn't be any more dissimilar. I think that's the right word. Like if Russ was a starting job, he's going to go out there. He's going to bum me out. But the thing is,

After like two weeks of Russ bumming you out, you're going to want Jameis playing quarterback. So what they should do is give the starting job to Jameis,

and say it's his to lose, and then they bring Russ in. He kind of stables things. He makes things nice and quiet. And then after maybe like three or four weeks, he starts to bum you out. Then you go back to Jameis. That's the prescription for the season. Sprinkle in some Tommy DeVito. Some Tommy DeVito, yeah. Yeah. Like, actually, the guy that is unlimited in this situation is Jameis. They should honestly do –

If you're Brian Dable, you're going to get fired no matter what, probably, right? Like, it's probably going to happen this year. It's probably not going to be a great year. I do think the Giants are better than people realize, but why wouldn't you just do, like, if I were Brian Dable, I would quite literally just ride the hot hand, series to series. If it's a punt or a turnover, next guy up.

Touchdown. He stays in. I understand the sentiment. I think that Jameis going through training camp, the boys are going to be fired up to have Jameis playing quarterback week one. Don't get it twisted. Jameis should be the starting quarterback week one. It might not go well. It's not going to happen, though. It's going to be Russ. They're paying him more money. I know, but it should be Jameis. That way you can go to Russ, go to the safe guy, bring in the stepdad, have him come in, mellow things out, and then you switch back to Jameis.

but I could, yeah, just go to the hot hand, whatever Brian Dable. I think if you look at these quarterbacks that they have, the three QBs have gotten that room. That is a pre-fired head coach. A hundred percent. Like if that, if those three guys are your plan, I was thinking maybe they get Jameis and then they draft someone. And then they bring that guy along slowly. Then Dable could do the thing where he's like, okay, we're going to start them after week seven. He shows some promise, keep me around so that I can develop this guy in the future.

I don't know if that's going to happen anymore. It feels like they're not going to go quarterback. They still might. Who knows? Weird things have happened. Yeah. The way that it looks right now, Brian Dable, you're going to be a great offensive coordinator somewhere. I am also excited for, I was, you know, we were putting this in the middle of the show because we already taped and we talked about Jameis being QB1. So people probably listen to that part and they're like, hey, wait a second. Russ just signed. So here we are talking about Russ. I'm excited for

Russell Wilson to get absolutely killed by the New York media and watch him try to handle that because he will handle it the way he handles everything. He'll just be like, God is great and positive thinking. And the guys in the locker room have my back. But that will be part of the show. Like I'm, that is the one part. If we can't get Jamis to full season, at least Russ versus the New York media will be fun. Yeah. Have you, did you notice, did you watch any of the hard knocks of the end season stuff last year with Russ Wilson on the Steelers? Yeah. Yeah.

He sometimes talks like Jameis, like the words are the same, but he doesn't believe him. The difference is Jameis believes the Jameis words. Russ is just like an AI transcript, like a voiceover of a Jameis Winston sound clip. And it's going to be a very, very weird quarterback room. Yeah. All right. And then the other one, Stefan Diggs to the Patriots. Hank, you wanted this, right?

Yeah, it's exciting. We obviously we definitely needed to help a wide receiver. He's a super talented wide receiver, kind of a kind of a head case. But even in the 10 minutes I had to process this, it's good. It's good reps for Drake May. Like, you know, you're a second year QB. You got a Diva wide receiver like that's something every quarterback has to go through. And I don't think people are expecting to to like I think a playoffs would be a successful season for the Patriots.

And I think step on days can help you get there. I don't think he's a long-term solution. I don't think he's going to be like a new England legend forever, but he's talented. We needed help at wide receiver.

And so I'm excited. I like that take, though, that it's providing him with mental reps of dealing with a problem wide receiver that he's going to have to deal with in the future at some point. Yeah. But that's true, right? Like, if you're going to be a great team, you've got to have a stud slash kind of a diva wide receiver. The real thing is it's someone he can throw to, which you need someone who can catch the ball. And that actually is, like, that's good for a young quarterback. But, yeah, I do like that spin as well, being, like, more than someone who can catch the ball, he's going to get a –

phd in dealing with a diva wide receiver yeah he's gonna man he's gonna fall in love with joe milton's arm he's gonna be like this reminds me of josh um all right and then i mean roger's gonna be a stealer right that's what it feels like at this point right stealer brown not a brown i don't think he's gonna be a brown he wants some place that's like the culture of green bay weather-wise

I don't think he's going to be a Brown. I'd be shocked. If he was a Brown, it would be funny. But yeah, I think he's going to be a stealer. I think Kirk Cousins might be a Brown. Maybe. But yeah, it feels like the QB carousel is slowing down and then...

Titans take Cam Moore. Did you guys see Cam Moore throw the ball like 300 yards? That was sick. That was so sick. There was that takeaway from pro day. And then there was the Alex Restrepo 40 yard dash time from Miami's pro day. Do you see what he ran? Yeah. He tweaked something. Yeah. He ran a four, eight something. He ran a four, eight and speed. Isn't everything. I guess they're going to look at the tape. Our good friend, Arian Foster ran like a four, seven, five at his pro day. And he had like a tweak cam straight. He was pretty good when he put the pads on.

Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, this is – I hope there's no more news coming tonight. I mean, let's just say it. If Rodgers is a stealer, they might be okay. We can be the first to report it. Aaron Rodgers is a stealer. I think he'll be better than Russ Wilson. Should I text him and ask him? Just steal his question mark? Yeah.

This is every text that I have ever texted him has felt like the last text ever that he'll. Well, he doesn't respond to basically any of them. So. All right. I've sent it. Steelers question mark. What do you think his response is? I feel like it might be emphasized. No response. The last time he responded was July 9th when we were interviewing him at Tahoe. And I just said, we're set up at the clubhouse. He said, I'll be over soon.

Okay. All right. And then there's just the, there's just nothing. There's just nothing. So maybe, I mean, now that we have the JFK assassination stuff, maybe we'll, we'll have a conversation with him this summer. I feel like he's probably booked up for the next six months reviewing those documents. That's true. That's true. Okay. Let's kick it back to ourselves. Uh,

Good job. Good live. We haven't done a live break in a while. Feels good to be back on this. So what were you guys doing? What was the routine when the news broke? I was making hot dogs for my kids' dinner, and then it happened. And, yeah, that was about it. Hank, what were you doing? You know, I like to keep my private life private outside of the show, and I would appreciate it if you guys would respect my privacy. What's that in your back seat?

That's my gym bag. Oh, that's your gym bag. Oh, okay. What about, there's a lot of trees. Are you out in the forest somewhere? Yeah, that's my gym bag. That's your gym bag. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, there are a lot of trees where you are. Yeah, you know, I like to get out and...

Get some nature under my feet. Get some nature under your feet. Ground yourself. That's a really nice – Exercise. I was exercising. I was exercising in nature. The ball marker is still on your hat. If you must know. If you must know. Hey, your ball marker is still on your hat. Again, like, you know what? Work ends and it's like I don't judge or criticize you for what you do outside of work. I was here. We said we're going to record and I'm here. That would be very funny though if you criticize Big Cat for making dinner for his family.

Yeah. And Hank, credit to you. You're like, I'm ready to go. Yeah. I left the eighth tee box. Oh, you were golfing? Again, private life, private. Like, I would respect some privacy, but that's fine if you guys must know. Okay. Okay. All right. Let's kick it back to ourselves. Keep going with the show. Okay. Any other stories? Oh. Juju. Juju. Juju Watkins. Tore ACL. That sucked. Didn't suck. Didn't suck.

She's awesome. We're talking women's college hoop sink. She's the best player. Her and Paige. They play ball too. They got next.

She is. She's like Carmelo. She's woman Carmelo. So she gets hurt, and then I think the odds drop from, what, 7-1, 8-1 for UFC. Now they're like 25-1. Maybe Ewing theory. Maybe Juju theory. I don't know. It does suck, though. She's so much fun to watch. Juju-ish conspiracy. Maybe now it's time to bet on the Trojans. Yeah. Is this the Jane Daniels mom hex?

That's me and Hank. Oh, wow. I didn't even think about that. Well, I got concerned. We never talked about this. I saw it. I asked PFT to do some research. I don't know if you got to the bottom of it. I did do some research. There's rumors that they're cousins. It might be cousins that their families are close. It might be cousins actually in the literal term. But there was a picture that went viral of Jaden Daniels sitting next to Juju Watkins and

Mm-hmm.

I don't know what's going on. I just know that if the two of them were to ever procreate, I would like to immediately draft that baby. Okay. Into whatever sport. But she was hanging out and then tore her ACL. Hanging out, tore the ACL. It sounds like you're wishing an injury on Jaden right now. No, I'm just wondering, like, at what point, you know, does the mom let the son just live his life? Yeah. No girls. You got to have girls at some point. No girls. No girls.

I don't know, Hank. I don't know. That might be her niece. Like, it's getting a little weird. No. He was showing everyone the picture. Like, it was like, he's like, look at this. Well, I showed Big Cat. I showed Big Cat. But then the mom came and just ruined it. Yeah. I didn't see the mom thing till after. It was, you know, the video of Rihanna.

And I forget who the actor was at MSG and it's Rihanna, the actor's son, and then the actor. And then they cut to the camera 20 minutes later and the actor switched seats with his son and was like macking on Rihanna. Yeah. That's what it was. Reverse. Except Jane Daniels mom. It was a big Italian mom move. Yeah. No girls. No girls.

You got to let him have some girls. No girls. That's crazy. No girls. That's crazy. I'm sure that they have a good... Hank, all you're going off of is like a second and a half clip, and it sounds to me like you're wishing a severe injury on Jaden Daniels. I'm not. I'm asking questions. It has nothing to do with the injury. I'm just asking. You said, is it the Jaden Daniels mom hex? Yeah, well, it's like she clearly does not like her if she's trying to sit in between them and not let them live her life. Maybe. Maybe she knows something you don't know. Maybe. I guess.

Okay, any other stories that we missed? We were in that kind of dull waiting for NBA and NHL playoffs. What? That's who it was, Ethan Hawke and Rihanna. Ethan Hawke. Do we have any other? Oh, is Jason Tatum okay? Yeah. He rolled his ankle. He's rolled his ankle before. Okay. I was just wondering. He'll be good. It's a bonus. That was kind of dirty by him. Very dirty. Yeah. Not jumping under him, but getting in his landing spot. He knows what he's doing.

Bulls just keep winning, and I don't know...

They're just going to get in the playing game. They're doing the Jerry Reinsdorf. They're making sure they get to exactly 38 wins. Yeah. And Kobe White has been awesome, and Boozles is a good draft pick, but it's just such a – he's got you right where – he just got us again, right where we want him, right where he wants us in that they're competing for a play-in game at the end of March, early April. That's exactly what he wants. And it's going to ruin everything. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, at this point, it's too far that they couldn't, even if they lost out, it's like their draft pick wouldn't be bad. So it's like, I guess just root for the young guys. But then when you say, I guess just root for the young guys, and they are playing a lot of fun. They're shooting a lot of threes. Josh, your boy Josh Giddey's having a time too. He's good. But they're playing fun basketball, but he got us again. Because you're like, I found myself watching and being like, man, they're fun to watch. That's exactly what he wants. What are you pulling up? Oh, watching the draft lottery simulator. Yeah. Yeah.

Big man Cooper Flagg. Love that. You'll love that. Big man. I mean, the Celtics know how to take care of a big man with an ankle injury. Jason Taylor will bounce back. All right, Simit 10 times. That was a bad lottery for me. Miami just won the lottery, Sim. So that's one time. Simit 10 times. Let's see how many times Washington's going to get it. There's Washington number two. Nice. I like that. That's huge. Miami again. It feels like Miami. We can't get the eight.

Focus on the top pick. We don't care. Yeah. Wow. Sixers. And the Bulls, too. Yeah. Wow. All right. That's a good-looking lotto right there. Brooklyn. Damn it. For you. Utah. Hank, can you please focus? We're doing the draft. Utah again. Utah again.

Mormon magic. I know you don't care, but you should care. Miami. I don't care. I'm also not keeping track of how many times we've done this. No, I haven't either. There you go. I'll take that. BFD. You'll take second? I'll take that. Oh, wow. Are you handshake dealing? I'll handshake that right now. Me too. That's huge. Who do you want? One of the Rutgers guys. Ace Bailey? Washington again. Wow.

This is the last one. This is the last and final one, though. We saw a lot of Miami. Last and final one. Miami, I feel like, was every time. Yeah. Toronto. That was bad for both. This is bad for all of us. Zero percent it goes to Toronto. Yeah. Zero percent. Yeah. Okay. Zero. I feel like it's going to be Miami now. Yeah. That was a lot of Miami. They just reloaded. A lot of Miami. Okay. Should we do? Let's do quickly. We have to do a pick for Thursday and Friday together as a team. We haven't been doing well.

Okay, we got to pick a winner here. As a team, we have not been doing well. DraftKings, when it comes to college basketball, March Mania, one thing is for sure, nothing's for sure. Upsets, buzzer beaters, Cinderella's advancing. Top seeds going home early. Bet the unexpected every upset every day with DraftKings Sportsbook. Everyone's sweating it out except you. DraftKings is offering all customers a no-sweat parlay every single day. How does it work? Opt in, place a bet on any eligible parlay. If your bet doesn't hit, you get a bonus bet back in the amount of your original bet.

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All right, Thursday. Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. We can't bet against Maryland because we're about to talk to SVP. I want to bet on Maryland.

You want to bet on Maryland? Okay. With the points. Maryland plus six and a half. I also would like to bet the over in BYU Alabama. I know it's very high, but that should be fun. Although Alabama can't hit threes. I wanted to bet on BYU. Okay. So then let's do BYU, Maryland, and then let's take the over in Arizona Duke. Okay. Instead, Caleb Love, just go off.

I like it. I like that a lot. He wanted Duke. The way that he played at the end of that game. Did you see the clip of where he almost... Can you try to find it after the game? Caleb Love, great job by him because he wanted to talk some real shit about Duke in a bulletin board moment and you could see him catch himself in real time being like, why don't I not do this? Yeah, it's good. Can you find that, Max?

Max is pulling it up. Caleb Love postgame. Okay, on Friday night, there it is. That's the clip right there. Watch this clip. Play from the beginning. Duke, how do you beat them?

He was just thinking there for a second, like, ah, I want to say so much shit right now. He yelled at himself. He goes, hey. That's a sound that I make when Blake is about to get into the trash. Hey. Hey. He did that to himself. That's a very good moment for him. That's great. Good recognition, Caleb. Great recognition. Yeah, it'd be so fun if he just went off.

I think Duke's going to win it all, though. Yeah. I'm pretty set in that thought. I mean, winning a second-round game by the way they did against Baylor, just not competitive. All right, the Friday games.

What are we thinking? Two big-time March coaches in Izzo versus Chris Beard. I actually have a stat for it from our friend Chris Felica. He had some nuggets, and here it is. So I think Michigan State's favored by 2.5 right now on DraftKings.

Six, let's see. Let me see this. Since 2018, there have been five instances of a two seed favored by three points or fewer in the Sweet 16. Two seeds have lost four of those five games. But here's the crazy part.

Two of those four wins for the lower seed or the higher seed were Chris Beard. So Chris Beard has taken down two two seeds in this exact situation of being favored or underdog of three or less. Izzo's also a very good coach. Izzo's also a very good coach. And also Michigan State. I think Michigan State, like as a team, reading everything from them, they might refuse to leave the floor if they lose this game. They want to win so bad. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, we can pass on this game. I like Ole Miss. You like Ole Miss? Okay. I don't have a good read on it. I like Tennessee. Mine is four and a half. Okay. They've lost twice to Kentucky this year in their favorites.

Chaz Lanier has been playing so good in this tournament. I kind of wish that this game had happened sooner for Tennessee. If this game was scheduled for Monday, I feel like Tennessee rolls. But I don't know. He's been so hot. I like Tennessee too. Fuck it. Okay. And then I like Michigan. I like Michigan. Nine and a half is a lot of points. I love Houston. I think Houston's going to dominate Purdue. I said something nice about Purdue Sunday. This might say something mean about Purdue. You're going to get your fucking ass kicked.

All right, so let me switch Ole Miss to Houston. I like that more. Okay. So you want to go Tennessee, Michigan, Houston. That's good. Two favorites and a dog. Yeah. I'm excited for the college basketball to get back. It was a tough Monday night. Just watching White Lotus. Ew. Ew. Ew. That's our White Lotus recap. No spoilers. Ew. Ew.

Okay, should we do Hot Seat Cool Throne and then get to our good friend Scott Van Pelt? Hot Seat Cool Throne is brought to you by our friends at Game Time. The best part about college basketball is here, and we know you're as excited as we are to watch some big upsets throughout the tournament. Hey, can you look up tickets to the Houston-Purdue game in Indianapolis? While we're streaming in the cave, you can get out to see the action in person with Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

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Looking at tickets for Purdue versus Houston. Weird layout. They're in the Lucas Oil, but half of Lucas Oil. Sideways. Kind of like the AAU tournament vibes. You can get in the building for $229. Okay.

That's $229. Go to the regional in Indianapolis. So right now with game time, they got great curated deals for all tiers of tickets. And you know you're getting the top options when you see the super deal icon. What are you waiting for? Buy those tickets.

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Also, great, great summer shoe. I wore them when I was on vacation in February. Great at a beach, at a pool. You can just slip them right on. Great dog walking shoes as well. I have them in my front entryway. Slip them on when I have to take Stella out.

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It makes, I mean, it was too good to be true. It always is. There was a viral video a few nights ago. It was during over the weekend. I think Steph Curry, it was beyond a full court shot. He was basically in the tunnel and he turned around, threw it to the other end of the court and the ball went in. There was multiple angles. Celebrated super viral. Everyone celebrated. It looked like the LeBron powerade commercial from back in the day when he's just taking step backs and step backs and step backs, clearly fake. Um,

But this one, you could see the ball the whole time. And in my head, I was like, I know this is fake, but I can't see where. But everyone, you know, was talking about it like it was real. Comes out Monday. The video was fake. He did not make it in. It basically... It wasn't a fake video.

I don't know because the video that they showed showing it wasn't real. They haven't showed the fans celebrating. Everyone celebrated like it was real. Yeah, because he shot it from such a long distance away and it looked like it went in. They celebrated because they thought that it went in. We only saw that angle. It was a polar switch. Yeah, parallax angle. Then the new camera angle came out and he missed it short. It hit the net, but it didn't go in.

So if you're at the other end, you think it went in. They showed that to us. We were lied to. So it was a real video. He just never made the best. Just never made it. You thought it was like a planned video. I still think it might be. Jury's not out. You think beforehand they're like, hey, let's plan this video out and hope no one takes the video of him actually missing. So then you think the video from the closer angle is also fake.

I think it's just he did this, and if you're looking from this angle from behind him, it looks like he hit it. Yes. Because the net moved. Yeah. Wouldn't that be an easy explanation? No, because there was a second angle. I'm trying to find it. There was a second angle. What am I missing here? Yeah, no, this is exactly what happened. Yeah, Memes is raising his hand. Yes, Memes? Sorry, the original video was cut short.

You hear the celebration, and then it makes it seem like he made it, but there's another video where he knows he missed it and goes, it was this close. Oh. Okay, all right. Okay. So the original viral post made it seem like he made it. Stay woke, Hank. I like that. You always got your guard up. Oh, you have to. But he does like a little shimmy, right? He kind of celebrates it. He does like a little pose. But then he does the just so close. The so close.

Either way, Steph Curry has a cannon. Yeah. That's so far. Because you do that shot all the time when we finish recording late, full court. Yeah, and our ceilings are low, so sometimes I hit the ceiling, but that's...

And you miss, you don't even get it to the rim like half the time. 60 yards farther. Well, yeah, you have to deal with the low ceiling. But still, it's not even a full, it's like a high school gym and you still don't even get it. Well, no, I do. I just hit the ceiling. I could get it there easily. Well, I mean, I've seen a lot of times where you don't even get it there. Because I have to deal with the ceiling. Oh, but it doesn't get there. Right. Because of the ceiling. When you throw a full, you try to throw the ball 70 feet.

And you don't get it there a lot of the time. 84 feet and you don't get it there a lot of the time. I can get it there whenever I want. Yeah? Yeah. You sure? Yeah. How many shots do you think it would take you to make this shot? Go get it there right now. Right this second? Yeah. Go get it there right now. I'll film you. Yeah, well, he'll film you and put it into the thing.

This is a lot of pressure. Will filibuster. You go get it there. Here's what's going to happen. He's going to hit the ceiling because he's going to be so juiced up. In some way, he's going to fail and then have a crazy excuse of why we're the assholes. I'm going to get it there. Big Cat's talking all this shit. He doesn't think I'm strong. I'm going to be so strong. I'm going to get it there. It's going to break a light. You're getting there. That's my call, actually. Broken light. Yeah.

Oh, broken light would be great. Speaking of broken light, so the Caps just re-signed Chikrin to an eight-year deal. Okay. He is an anti-light bulb guy. What does that mean? He doesn't have light bulbs in his house. Is he Polish? He doesn't know how to put them in? No, he thinks that light bulbs are bad for you. So he's got just beeswax candles all around his house. So he's just waiting, and I don't want this to happen. I'm just saying he's just waiting to burn down his house. Burn down his house, yeah. That's going to happen. It's a mistake waiting to happen.

But yeah, he's one of the anti-UV guys. I didn't know those guys existed. Anti-light bulbs. That's the guy from Better Call Saul. Yeah. Where's just, yeah, the tinfoil everywhere? The tinfoil and the, yeah, puts everything inside a box outside. Anti-light bulbs. That's a new one. That is kind of crazy, right? Aaron Rodgers might become an anti-light bulb guy.

Yeah, and then everyone might become an anti-light bulb guy. Yeah, just crystals. I just have crystals and candles in my house. Anti-light bulb. I've heard a lot of anti-everything. I saw someone the other day was like, Cheetos shouldn't exist. That's bad. I was like, what the fuck, man? He's one of those guys that's like, if that color isn't found in nature, it shouldn't be on my food. Yeah. All the neon colors are delicious on food. How about also you can just, everyone can do what they want.

You don't have to eat Cheetos. Other people can. Did you make it? I almost. Oh, he gave the Steph Curry close. He gave the Steph Curry? You almost made it? What is Hank doing? Max is getting some sort of... What did he just give you? Oh, he gave you a sandwich. He gave you a sandwich with nothing...

You went out to take a shot and then you got an egg sandwich when you came back? What just happened? I was like, wait, hold on. Let me give you this sandwich right now. Well, you said you were hungry. You were like, I need that right now. Okay. What happened with the shot? The first one, he did not make it there. The second one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I made it there. It was just to the left.

Sounds like you didn't make it. No, I absolutely made it there. Why did you give me this fucking egg sandwich? What am I going to do with this right now? Fact or fiction, did you say, I need that so bad? Yeah, but I want to eat it. That is a wild move to just hand him a sandwich. It was in a competitor's packaging, and I didn't want the competitor's packaging in there. That's fair. No free ads. I like that. The sandwich is from the ringer?

Take a bite of the sandwich. Take a bite. You want to take a bite. If you're not going to eat that sandwich, I'm going to eat that sandwich. Let me get a bite of that sandwich. Thank you. Fuck right. Did you miss short? You want a whack of it? Yeah, I'll take a whack of it. I also accidentally, I did a first order, sent it to my apartment. We've all been there, huh? The boy's just eating sandwiches together. Oh no, there's egg on the couch. I missed it short to the left. All right, do you have the video? I got distracted.

There was one thing you had to do. You could just grab it. Well, we started talking about the food. Yeah, food got involved and Max's priorities shifted. Food got involved and Max was like, I have to get involved in this conversation. Well, I was part of the conversation. Hank, what happened there? Outside? You were short? No, I was just to the left on the first one and then the second one hit the... So you can get it there anytime you want.

Yeah, the second one hit the square. So do you say you have the same arm strength as Steph Curry? No, because that video is probably twice the length. Yeah. That was my takeaway from the video is he has an absolute cannon. Cannons. Pelosi. Cannons. Okay. Well, Max, it says sending. I don't know. On my phone, it says sending. So it hasn't sent yet. Okay. Oh, there it is. We got it. All right. Here it is.

Hank's first attempt. He throws it. Did not get it there. Did not get it there. You cannot get it there anytime you want. Two things. One, it didn't get there. Two, Hank is probably 15 yards closer than Steph Curry was. You cannot get it there anytime you want. That was the entire beginning of this point. I never said it was the same length. But you can't get it there. I know he's like twice as long. You can back up to where he was. Yeah. It confirms you cannot get it there anytime you want.

I got it there. You did not get it there. Look where it landed. Did you hear that noise he just made? That was a great noise you made. That was close. The second time you actually got it there. First time, did not get it there. All right, what's your cool throne? I thought it was still me. What's the button? Button's still on you. My cool throne was Jane Daniels' mom. We talked about that. So I'll go with Ashton Hall. Yeah. Yeah, so let's get into this because that was going to be my hot seat.

Me, uh, memes. You have been tasked with this. Explain a meme to us. I DM Max every single video. Okay, so, so... Um, so... What are you doing? Let's switch seats. Oh! Look at this. Quick little story. So this guy Ashton Hall went viral on Twitter over the weekend. Someone posted his morning routine video.

Maybe the most viral video I've ever seen on Twitter. Right now it's 765 million views. Holy shit. It's crazy. It was getting posted over and over and over again. 765 million views. Obviously, everyone's posting it. The morning routine. Stu Feiner texted me last night. Yeah. Just said, check this out. Yeah. And it was the video. Love that. Which is the most... Like, it's everywhere. Oh, yeah. He said that to me, too. Does he...

Do his texts go to everyone? I don't know because he normally texts in all caps for his pics. Yeah. And so I assume that goes to everyone at the same time. But the last five times he's texted me something else that's been in lowercase, you guys have gotten the same text at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. He sent check this out at like 8 p.m. last night. All right, memes. Go ahead. So he's a lifestyle coach. Okay. Already bullshit. Already bullshit. He has a two hour morning routine.

That's pretty much it. He's just a lifestyle. He's a former college running back, too. Former college running back. He averaged six attempts on eight.

eight yards. The funny part about these videos is he does, he does a morning routine video and he absolutely does nothing. Like he, he is, he is up at the gym. He's up at 4am writing stuff onto a piece of paper. He's going to the gym. He's eating bananas, rubbing banana peels on his face. And he still hasn't done any work. Like nine Oh five comes around and he's, he's not even doing work. He's just dunking his face into, to water. Um,

He doesn't do anything. He spends six hours in the morning journaling, doing UV light therapy. Or no, that's the IR sauna, right? He's in like the infrared sauna. Yeah. He goes to the gym. He jumps into the gym for four minutes. Yep. And then the funniest part is when he's at his computer and he just goes, yeah, I'm going to need 10,000. Right. And then it just cuts to the next one. 10,000 of what? We don't know.

He also, the reason I like this guy is that he's not in on the joke because he did a video, I think Monday, being like, hey, I see everyone making similar videos. I want to say I appreciate it. That was a video from February that was already out. Oh, that was already out. But it still stands. He says that there's been a lot of people that copied him and copied what he said. Mocked him. No, copied him. And...

They do similar things to his ASMR workouts. Yeah. And so people copy that. You're right. Making fun of him. He doesn't realize that they're making fun of him. And then he had a moment of clarity where he thought to himself, you know what? A lot of people follow Jesus too and mimicked him. So if he's good enough to allow people to mimic him, then I can be good enough to allow people to mimic me. Yeah. So very Christlike.

Okay. Yeah, so he made that video back in February, but there's an original guy from about two years ago who made one of these videos who went viral, and he clapped back at him saying, something forgot I got talked about for two months straight and ain't say a word. So he's going back at Hall for this. For what?

So Ashton Hall copied this guy. Oh, yeah. This is the OG. What's his name? Morning routine. Drew Walls. And can you read that tweet again? Something forget I got talked about for two months straight and it say a word.

So it's essentially, at what point do you think we're going to reach critical mass of influencers where everyone's an influencer that we don't have enough people to be influenced? Yeah, too many chiefs, not enough guardians. Right. I feel like we're there. Yeah, probably. Because this guy's doing nothing. And yes, we're making fun of him, but he also thinks he's kind of killing it, right? I think he kind of is killing it. 765 million views. I guess he is killing it. You're right. And also, the guy is jacked up.

So whatever his routine is, he has an insane amount of dedication to it. The banana peel facial that everybody was talking about, rubbing a banana peel on your face. If you don't remember, our good friend Uncle Chaps did that like four years ago. And he got potassium poisoning inside of his eye because he rubbed a banana peel on his face one time. And he had to basically have his eyelid lanced open and had surgery done on his eye. And it's still kind of fucked up to this day. So don't rub banana peels on your face. Bananas are for eating.

I'll also say that Ashton Hall at least...

He is super jacked. He has designer bags. He wears super expensive bags and bracelets to go to the gym. Makes no sense. But he's got the weird incel alpha male energy thing going. This guy, Drew Walls, literally just goes to Target. Oh. But that's more relatable. Yeah. I'm not... He literally makes an entire video about buying groceries. I'm not going to... I love that guy, too. Yeah. I'm not going to make any judgments on Ashton Hall. I'm just going to...

He might be in like some credit card debt with the things that he owns and doesn't seem to be doing a lot of actual business. Did you hear him? He's like, I'm going to need $10,000. He's going to need $10,000 or something. Yeah. So...

I like both these guys. I like the guy that goes to Target. Because it's so funny, you set a camera up on a tripod, and then you wheel the shopping cart into the frame. You get something off the shelf, wheel the shopping cart out. Then you go and you pick up your tripod, and you move on to the next place. I am in love with the... I want somebody to film him filming himself. Yeah. That would be a great video. That would be, behind the scenes. There's an entertainment value, though, where it's like... There's a...

non-zero chance there's satire involved with ashton hall like he has rolls royce's no way not with him he has rolls royce's following him running yeah those are leased they have to be or rented what does he do does he have a business life coach okay life coach yeah my my get morning routine would literally just be me sitting on the toilet trying to take a shit

Yeah. Like, all right, now I'm ready to go. Mine would be telling Blake to not wake me up yet three times and then trying to start the El Camino, then letting Blake outside, then trying to start the El Camino again, then having a cup of coffee, trying to start the El Camino, putting Blake in his crate and getting in my other car and drive to work. That's what my morning routine is. It's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Mine would just be trying to take a shit and then yelling at my kids to please put on their shoes and then I go to work. Job gets done. The morning routine. What's yours, Hank? Wake up, coffee, come to work.

You should do a video of your morning. I'm not a morning guy. Yeah. Oh, really? We're familiar. Wake up, get angry at something. No. How do you handle that if there's nobody in your apartment when you wake up and you're angry? Who do you get that out on? I know I need 30 minutes. Like, literally, it takes me 30 minutes to be a human being. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a good question. PFT asks, like, do you get angry at, like, the thought of us?

Because I would assume a lot of times when you come in, it's like the first thing you have to do is something with us. So are you like, these guys are the reason why I'm coming in this time? Fuck them. If I really don't, if I don't sleep enough and I wake up super late and have to be here within those 30 minutes, then yes. You're just raging against us the whole way in.

Not against you. I'm just in a bad mood. We're the machine. I'm just in a bad mood. Me and Big Cat are the machine. The man. Gotta go to work for the man. I love that. I love that we literally get you out of bed in the morning. Of course. Our existence is what gets you out of bed. Not willingly. No. Memes, what's your morning routine? Wake up. Just go on Twitter for a couple hours.

You should do a video. Oh, I miss that so much because I used that used to be like when we first started doing this show. I just wake up and lay in bed for two hours before kids just being like, you know, like on Mondays after football Sundays. I just lay there for two hours just hanging out. What are other people talking about today? Yeah. And then coffee, shower, and then come in here. That's it. Max, what's yours? Eat a meatball.

Max, do you have bedside meatballs like people have water? No, I do not have bedside meatballs. He tucks his face into a bowl of meatballs. Bedside meatballs. Max wakes, he rolls over, just sticks a meatball in his mouth. No, I normally wake up. Max, you should remake the video in the mouth tape. Instead of the mouth tape, you wake up, you roll over, and you spit out the meatball you've been resting in your cheek all night.

Max has to sleep with a meatball in his mouth. That's fucked up. Yeah, it's a ball gag, except it's just veal. What's your morning routine, Max? I just wake up, listen to my dog cry, and then ask my girlfriend to take her out. She normally does it. And then I lay in bed until I have to go.

And then I'll normally, my girlfriend will ask me to do something. I'll be like, I have to go for work. And she's like, what have you been doing the past hour and a half? That sounds very relatable. That's basically how it goes. Yeah, that's very relatable. Like, yeah, I have to go. I'm rushing now. You can't actually go until you absolutely have to go. Correct. And then she'll ask me to do one thing on my way out. And I always get yelled at because she, yeah. Yeah, you're like, fuck, I have to go. I'm going to be late.

Okay. Where are we? PFT's hot seat. That was a cool throw, right? My hot seat is the media. Media's in the hot seat, and I guess we can include ourselves in the media. We were put there by Doc Rivers because Doc Rivers says, no one tells the real story, and I'm fine with that. It's unfair in some ways. I don't get enough credit for getting the three wins in the playoffs. I get credit for losing. I always say, what if we had lost to Houston in six? No one cares.

One of the things I'm proud of is we've never been swept. All the coaches have been swept in the playoffs. My teams achieve. A lot of them overachieve, and I'm very proud of that. Wow. So it's on us for not telling the full story about Doc Rivers. He has won three games in the playoffs many times in a series. So he's just basically changed the entire narrative to, like, I haven't been swept? Yeah. We have to bet on him to get swept this year.

You think so? Yeah. Well, you're discounting the fact that when he loses the 3-1 leads, he's won three games. He's won three games. That should be worth something. Like, if you get up 28-3 against the Patriots in the Super Bowl, that should be worth something. Who would the Bucs play? Like, the Celtics could sweep them in the second round. It'd be the Cavs.

I might have to bet on a sweep. You think the Cavs sweep the Bucs? No. I think the Bucs beat the Cavs. Oh, really? You hate the Cavs, Hank. You think the Cavs stink. You absolutely think the Cavs stink. Be honest. They lost four of their last five. Yeah, so they stink? No, they're number one in the East. I couldn't say that.

But you're not worried about the Browns. How could you make that argument? Because you think that they'll get swept in the playoffs. No, I didn't say swept. I just think the Bucs could beat them in a series. So, but are you saying that because you're kind of a little deep down scared of the Cavs? No. I would love a Cavs-Celtics season. You'd be rooting for the Cavs against the Bucs? No. Who would you be rooting for? Bucs. Because you're scared of the Cavs. Yeah, that makes no sense. You...

You guys don't have experience in the playoffs and being a championship contender. Do you want to play the team that's a better matchup for you? You want the worst teams to win. I'm not afraid of the Cavs. I would welcome a matchup versus the Cavs, but would I rather play the Bucs? Yes.

Do I think the Bucs can beat the Cavs? Yes. Do I know the Celtics can beat both of those teams? Yes. Who would you rather play? The Bucs. Okay. Scared of the Cavs. Scared of the Cavs. Yeah, that's my case. You said, no, no, you guys are twisting my words. And then you said, no, I'd like to play the team that's the better matchup. Meaning the team that you're not afraid of. Right. I'm not afraid of any team. But if given a choice, you would prefer not to play the Cavs.

That does not mean afraid, but yeah, correct. Yeah, you're afraid of afraid. It's okay. If you're scared, say you're scared. I'm not scared. Okay. Give me the cash. Okay, there we go. Now you're not scared. I agree. But you are scared of the Bucs. Sure. You're scared of Giannis. Yeah. No, we beat him before. We'll beat him again. Okay. My cool throne is FIFA. FIFA is on the cool throne because former FIFA president Sepp Blatter was cleared of all corruption charges by a Swiss court.

Tuesday. So two and a half years after the original hearing, they were once, uh, he was once the most powerful figure in global football and now he's been cleared of fraud. So he was at the extraordinary appeals chamber of the Swiss criminal court, which is a crazy name for, for an appeals chamber. Um,

So anyone that was pointing a finger at Sepp Blatter and saying that FIFA is corrupt, Sepp Blatter is corrupt, guess what? You're wrong. He's been officially cleared. He's done nothing wrong. Okay. So he's a good guy. Good guy. Never did anything wrong. FIFA, it turns out, plot twist, not corrupt. Everything's above board in FIFA. Oh, okay.

So why did we ever think that FIFA was doing anything wrong? Because they're getting billions of dollars to give the World Cup to Qatar and Saudi Arabia. Which, again, no proof of anything under the table happening there.

Right. So move on. Move the fuck on. I do like the fact that FIFA will just, they will always be corrupt. That's what they are. Yeah. They're a very corrupt thing. They're so corrupt that they get cleared of corruption charges. Right. I feel like that's just in their bylaws. Yes. To be corrupt. Yeah. Also, you can't even be mad at them when they do what everyone expects them to do. People are asking me to comment on the US national team losing. Here's my comment. Who did we lose to? I think we would lose to Panama. Panama.

Who cares? We're automatically in. Who cares? That's my comment. Who cares? But Panama sticks. Who cares? Don't they? Who cares? We have a charity invite to the World Cup. We're hosting. Oh, we lost to Canada? That ain't good. So did our hockey team.

That was an all-star game. Yeah, true. Well, this tournament didn't mean anything. This was a tournament? It was a tournament. Was it the Nations League? The storied Nations League finals? God damn it. None of these tournaments mean anything. I think you got to win. Who cares? You got to lose before you win. We keep losing in these tournaments. Well, it's our new coach. Everyone thought that our new coach would be great. I think he still will be great. I think he intentionally lost these games to light a fire under the boys' eyes. Well, it's our new coach combined with our golden generation. Golden generation. Again,

Just make Messi a United States citizen. Just do that.

I agree with that. Yeah. I'm 100% in on that. The coach is Argentinian. Yeah. Okay. My hot seat is... Hey, PFT, can you explain this text thing that happened in Washington real quick? I think it's... My hot seat is that I guess there's a guy in the Trump administration named Dan Katz. Yes. I saw that. And so his name was listed in it. And my hot seat is me because I was like...

Oh shit. Did they mention me? Because it was the date was when I was 16 to know. And I was like, are they talking about 16 to know really dumb thought? They might've been. He's actually a real person. They might've been. I got tagged in a bunch of people were like, it was like direct. I think it's like treasury director. So someone made the joke. Like, do you think they were thinking that 16, you know, was going to solve the economy? I was like, maybe. And then I had to take a step back and be like, dude, shut the fuck up. This is an insane thought.

The Federal Reserve should just be based on Big Cat's bets? Yeah. I don't... I think it's still developing right now. But are you on Signal? I'm not. If you were on Signal, you might have been added to that group chat. I'm on... No, I'm on... I have a telegram. Okay, if you were on Signal, they might have accidentally added you to the group chat. Okay. Oh, JOC's on Signal. Remember he said he was going to send Adam Schefter some fucked up shit? That's right, yeah. On Signal? Yeah, he might have got the invite. So apparently there's a group chat when you're getting ready to bomb a place.

And they're like, hey, here's what we're going to do. Here are our concerns. Here's how we're going to bomb it. They accidentally added the editor in chief of the Atlantic to the group chat. Wait, they text before they're going to bomb? Apparently. That's crazy. I wonder what the picture is in the group chat. Yeah. You know how every group chat has that one image?

What did they set that to? Bombs away, yeah. Just an F-18. So apparently they were planning on the bombing and then they added probably the last guy in the world they would want to add, which is a guy that already hates them, that runs the Atlantic. Got it. He got added to the group chat and then he released the logs, part of them, from the group chat and was like, hey, here's how they plan to bomb the Houthis in Yemen. Okay. And then it happened.

And then he left the group chat. By the way, if you get added to a group chat where the boys are planning war. Yeah. How do you leave that group chat? You got to stay in that group chat. They were given the details about what kind of planes and bombs and shit. You got to stay and rip off a joke and then get kicked out. Yeah.

You got to make a joke about something. Or send a picture of your balls. Yeah. That's what I would have done. Send a picture of your balls to the group chat, then log out and be like, hey, whose balls are those? Who did we accidentally add? Send coordinates to your rival's address. Yeah. See if they'll just add one. So apparently that's what happened. There's a group chat for planning war. Damn. Okay. I would like to be in that group chat. Just because I want to know about the different planes they're going to use. Just see it. All right. And then my cool throne. I should have mentioned this on Monday. I didn't.

I did watch the whole game, but we were talking basketball on Monday. The Wisconsin Badgers women's hockey team won another national title. Four out of six years, eight total dominant. And they had a shootout goal with 18 seconds left to bring it to overtime and then beat the Buckeyes, the Puckeyes, the Lady Puckeyes. Did the puck go backwards on the shootout or on the penalty shot? No. They reviewed it.

They reviewed if she stopped her forward motion. She did not. She just made a great play. And yeah, dynasty. There was like an hour on Sunday where no matter what TV you were looking at, there was a review going on. Yes. It could have been in hockey. There were a couple of those. It could have been in any number of basketball games. Basketball is like 30% reviews now. Yeah. We needed no review game.

We just need a night, a week, no reviews. Just let it fucking fly. I wanted to see a fight in that Badgers-Buckeyes game. Yeah. Do they fight? I don't think so, but they do play every single year. It's the Sunday of the first round, and the Badgers play the Buckeyes in the national championship.

and uh we got their number now dynasty got us last year we got them this year four out of six that's a dynasty dynasty that's your dynasty uh okay let's get to our good friend scott van pelt and talk uh some hoops and maryland hoops their queen and uh we'll finish up with guys on chicks before we get to scott van pelt he's brought to you by tax act can you believe we're getting to the end of march your taxes are due on april 15th hank do you have any tips

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I like the Strawberry Smash. Strawberry Smash and Big Cat. What's your favorite? Mine's Strawberry Smash. Hank just stole my favorite, but that's fine. We can share favorites. He stole the favorite. That's the beautiful thing about Truly Unruly. It's 8%. All of them are 8% ABV. Comes in the four flavors, Tropical Twist, Berry Blast, Citrus Crush, Strawberry Smash, the official hard seltzer of Part of My Take. Find Truly Unruly at a store near you or visit www.trulyhardseltzer.com.

Now here's Scott Van Pelt. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very good friend. It is Scott Van Pelt, and we welcome him on because his Maryland Terrapins are in the Sweet 16 for the first time in a long time, and they had the best moment from the weekend, and we wanted to talk some hoops with Scott. Scott, first of all, congrats. That was an awesome game. Walk us through...

your range of emotions, knowing that you maybe root for the Maryland Terrapins harder than anyone roots for any team. Did you really just say walk us through your emotions? Yes, walk us through your emotions because your emotions are crazy in a Terps game. Yeah, if you have like two steps or maybe three steps that you went through. Yeah. Oh, wait. No, I did not. Oh, wow. I didn't even think about that. I did not do that on purpose. BFT picked up on it before I picked up on it. I'm a team no travel guy.

What are we doing with this? Fanta nailed it the other night. Like, this tournament has largely lacked, it's largely lacked those moments that make the tournament the tournament. Then we get one, but because we live in this space now where we can't exist unless we're pissed at everything, oh, he walked. Yeah.

Okay. Well, Sterritory said he didn't. I could show you a video of a Colorado State guy doing the exact same thing. Oh, that happened earlier in the game. Well, they got two points and no one gave a shit because that's just basketball in the modern era. Anyway, the emotions were insane. I am, look, I thought as I got older, I'd,

grow away from this. That's not been the case. I really, really like Maryland basketball. I have a lot of fun with it. This team's been fun. Queen was a kid that they hoped they'd keep in, you know, in Maryland. And he stayed. He could have gone anywhere. Five-star guy, a lottery guy. And then he has an incredible moment. And I talked about this with Stanford Steve on our pod. And Big Ken, I look forward to the days when you're telling me this version of your story.

I'm out with my youngest kid and he's very, very Zen. He's very stoic. He's like, we're good.

We're going to take it home. Colorado State makes it three. He's like, Dad, I don't think we're going to win. And I said, buddy, you got to stay in the fight, man. And then they make it, and it's just absolute chaos. The family jumping around. It was unreal. I mean, like, Maryland's lost a lot of heartbreaking games this year at the buzzer. I thought it was going to be another one, and then it wasn't. Yeah. Yeah, it really did feel like that. I told you. I was like –

I felt like Colorado State had somehow just, they were going to be the team of Desi. They were going to be the big story going into the Sweet 16 of, you know, Nico Medved, who's now at Minnesota, and these guys playing incredible ball, and you snatched it. And I just loved Derrick Queen being the guy who's like, I want the ball. It was a big boy move, too. It maybe wasn't the most aesthetically pleasing buzzer beater, you know, not a step back three. Don't care. That move rocked.

Well, I mean, old school off glass. And I mean, in real time, it's like, it's like happening in slow motion. And I'm like, oh, that's so far off. And then it's no, it's actually not. It's perfect off glass. And yeah, I mean, it was, it's like, you know, it's a Hoosiers moment. I'll make it Jimmy Chitwood. And, you know, I did an interview with the Baltimore Sun last week. And the legend goes when he was, you know, coming up in Baltimore, they called him Black Baby Jokic. And, you know, he's,

He's not like the most fast twitch, you know, put your elbow above the square dude. And he's not like muscle bound. But like Jokic has changed the entire paradigm of what you're supposed to look like, right? I mean, you can look like whatever if you've got high IQ and a ton of

ton of talent and big balls and Derek's got all that. I feel like Jokic could also learn from wearing the long sleeve shirt underneath the jersey. That might diminish some of the razor bar cuts that he gets on his arms every game. If for no other reason than the back of his triceps or where his triceps would be if he had them to look like they've been ginsued. Every year it's like, what happened to this dude, man? It's crazy. You're right. I think the long sleeves is the play. Scott, we've talked to a few friends of yours over the years

that have given their side of things for what it's like to watch a Terps game with Scott Van Pelt. What are you like during Terps games? Do you entertain outsiders, or is it Maryland fans or nothing? I don't know.

There'll be none of that. I really prefer not to watch with anyone. I mean, we're in Florida and there's like an outside setup with a TV here and the inside setup was bad. So I just left and came outside and my youngest came out to hang with me because he's allowed. He's good. But

But short of that, I mean, it's a very small list. I mean, like there's no, this isn't a joke. If I was at work, I'd show you. They literally made a sign for me that says panic room. And I would watch in this room by myself at work because I was so insufferable to be around that they just said, look, we're going to give you a panic room. You can watch the games in there and the rest of us can operate in peace. So I get it. I'm not the most, I'm not the calmest dude, but

I mean, the other night, I don't know. My little guy kept me calm. He was good. Everything was good until the last minute when he abandoned ship and told me we weren't going to win. But I don't know. Like I said, PFT, I thought I'd outgrow it. I thought I'd be more mature or whatever. It's the one thing I still really care about and love. Yeah.

I make no apologies for that. Yeah, I love that you just are open about it too. Like, it would be one thing if you said, you know, I'm actually not that big of a psycho about it. You know, like that would kind of suck if you're like, oh, no, I don't care that much. No, you care a lot. You want it to happen. But you know the thing that was like, if you're going to sit in the front row of the Michigan State game and scream like an unhinged lunatic, and then Trey Holloman's going to drop a 65-footer

on your noggin, then you got to eat it. And like that night I had to work. And so we, you know, we start the show with like the best sort of piece of video, best thing I saw today. And there, I got to work and our producers like, well, we could do this or that. I'm like, fuck that. The guy made an incredible shot. That's like, I wasn't my favorite thing, but it was the best thing I saw. So you win a game that was that intense like that, that's where you start. And so

Everyone knows where I'm from, fellas. You guys obviously do too. Everyone knows the flag I wave. And so the fun thing is that people are genuinely happy for me as if I did something the other night. I did nothing. And on the other side of Florida, it's your ass on Thursday. Everyone's coming for me to be like, you know, hey, Van Pelt, suck it. You're out. What can I do? You just got to wear it. Do you think people...

Are they rooting for you to win it all? Do you think people would be happy for you if you got a championship? Are they... Because this happens to us. They want us to achieve a little bit of success, but then the real sickos want to watch us lose in a big spot. That's a great question. I think that more people want to see you be in abject misery. You know, like... Yeah. I mean, Big Cat, the shot of you Final Four on the ground will live forever. You know? Yeah. I mean, it'll... It's...

And until until that magical moment when the committee doesn't screw you and make you play in Denver against BYU. Thank you. And you get there and you cut down nets. When that happens, then that will that will kill that meme of you. But only that will kill that meme of you. So I think people I think they like it.

They like to know that you're happy for a little while and they're like, oh, that's cool. But then ultimately they root for you to die in an agonizing death. Yeah. So, so Max finally got over that hump in the Superbowl. Which was awesome. It was awesome. I think, and I think people are genuinely happy for the dude because they know that he lives it. Right. Like this is Matt performance art. Like he's in it, man. And so as long as people know, like if they feel like you're truly about it, then I think they are like, oh, that's pretty cool. Cause they get it. Yeah.

I think two things are true, at least for me. One, I was happy for Max. I was glad to see him win one. And two, I missed just being able to call him a loser. Yeah. That was a lot of fun for me. So it took away a little bit of personal joy, but I still am happy for him. Yeah, but here's the thing, PFT. It makes you better. You're going to have to grow. You're going to have to find another way. You're going to have to find another avenue to stick that needle in. It's going to be harder, but it's just going to make you a better podcaster. Yeah.

Well, maybe Max, instead of being a loser, and I would love for your thoughts on this, maybe Max is a coach stealer. Has there been that? Have you had that? We probably should have that discussion right now. The Kevin Willard thing is weird. It is. And I have to, on some level, I have to recuse myself from things because you reach a place where you...

you know the people that are involved in a way where you're trying to help facilitate conversation and then step away. Like, I'm not sitting at the table, nor should I. But, I mean, look, he just went on with, like, my best friend in D.C. on his radio show and said, you know, like, as of now, I'm staying. I mean, it's like...

Well, if you stay in, you stay in. You know, it's really it's really weird. I know Maryland's trying to move heaven and earth and give him the things he's asking for. And by the way, I'm on his side that if you're at a basketball school, you should have the resources to be a basketball school. And so I'm all about that. But I'm also if the offer of the things you've asked for is made.

And then you choose to go somewhere else, and that just means you wanted to go somewhere else. And I don't mean he's going to. I just mean that happens in coaching all the time. So I don't know. It's a really odd space that we're living in right now where we don't know. And then there's this huge game on Thursday night. So...

I'll let the adults in the room be the adults in the room. And, you know, I've made it clear. I'm a big fan of Kevin. I want him to get what he wants. And if Maryland offers it and he stays, then fantastic. And if he doesn't, then...

I guess he wanted to go someplace else. So, I don't know. My promise to you, Scott, is that if Villanova steals Kevin Willard from you, we will beat the fuck out of Max. It might take like four or five of us, but we will beat the fuck out of him. I might come get a kick in once he's been subdued. Yeah.

He wanted both these coaches. He wanted Golden and he wanted Wooden. So it's like whoever loses this game, that's the guy that Max wants. Wow. I don't know that you're going to get Golden. I think he's in a pretty good spot, man. That's a passionate fan base. Florida had it cooking so great in the mid-20s.

What are they, the Otts or whatever? I don't even know what the hell we call them. Whenever the time was that football and basketball just won a ton of titles, they've been starving for this, and they're great. So I don't think anybody's getting golden. So looking forward to this game, massive game. I think a lot of people like Florida in it. You're going to be an underdog. What are your keys to the game? We're big formula guys. What are the SVPs to the game? I think we need Clayton to sprain his ankle.

Not badly. I'm not rooting for an injury. That guy's got such big balls. He takes so many big-time shots and hits so many big-time shots. They're deep.

They have so much depth. The depth of the frontcourt and the backcourt. You're going to need to play them physically the way UConn did. You've got to make them uncomfortable the way UConn did. And it still wasn't enough. That was impressive as hell the way they won that game because it took everything to knock out the two-time champion. Maryland, they're going to have to make a shit ton of threes defensively.

They're going to have to rebound. They've gotten crushed on the glass by a couple of teams, and Colorado State got them on the glass. Florida's enormous. If Florida gets 25 offensive rebounds, then it's going to be a name-your-score final. So you don't have to be perfect, but Maryland needs to be the best version of itself, and I think they can win the game. Yeah, I agree. All right, so in terms of the overall tournament, first of all, how did you do this first weekend?

Bad. I mean, not terrible. I took a flyer on Missouri and Drake beat him. Um...

But I was pretty chalky. I had ones and twos in. Like, I have Florida over Duke, which is one over one. And the reason, like, sometimes you can try too hard to be clever, right, and look for the upsets and whatever. But then once you miss that one early one that goes deep, then you're fucked. And I just thought the ones are great. And Florida and Duke both looked apart first weekend. So that's who I had making it. And I had Michigan State and Tennessee with the others. So, I mean, I'm alive, but it's not like I'm out on a limb with anybody that I have.

Yeah, and what about the talk about the tournament, you know, not enough Cinderella's, March Madness is dying. Are you buying into that, or are you kind of measured like us? We're like, hey, it could be a thing, but we're going to need a couple more sample size. We're going to need a couple more tournaments before we just say it's all over and no one's ever going to win again. Everyone just says NIL portal, and it's not new that the schools on a certain level were getting poached by higher levels. That's been going on for years.

But it's certainly NIL and the portal has completely accelerated it, right? I mean, like, look at Drake. Their point guard is going, Sturtz is awesome, is going with McCollum to Iowa. Well, of course he is. And so it makes it a whole lot more difficult for like a Missouri Valley level team. If you're Bradley or you're Southern Illinois or Drake or whatever, you're

If you're if you got a guy that's a guy, well, then someone's just going to come and say, what's the number? And so that's part of it. And that's a whole other conversation. Something has to happen. Like, I'm not I'm pro players getting money. I'm anti free agency every single year because that's just stupid. It doesn't exist in any other sport.

So I don't know. There's a lot that's going on, but I'm not, like the ratings were awesome. And you know what? Like cowherd had this point years ago and he's right. Everyone loves an upset until it's the next game. And like Kansas is out. You're like, you know what would have been cool watching Kansas play today, but they got beat. You know what I mean? So it's going to be super chalky on Thursday and Friday and through the weekend. And I think people are going to love these games. I don't think they're going to be sad. Um, it's,

It's just more fun when there's the threat of the upset, and we really didn't have many of those this first round. So it doesn't bother me. I think it's just kind of the new reality. Yeah, well, we do have the Cinderella in Arkansas.

right? Coach Cal. He is the underdog Cinderella. That meager little Tyson chicken NIL budget that has no bottom. What an underdog story, man. But I will say this, like they were toast. They were 0-5 in the conference and they weren't going to be in the tournament. So it, you know, that was a cool storyline. Cal Patino, you guys covered it all. Like the,

the layers of the stories and whatever. But it is, it is funny that it's the, you know, the little, the little engine that could from, from Arkansas and Cal. Okay. Yeah. Hank brought up a good point. I think it was Hank. And I didn't have a good answer to it. It was, it was about Maryland basketball and just Maryland sports in general. Why do you know why they're the Terrapins and not the crabs? Because, well, the crab thing is,

is sort of just the flag and the crab are relatively new deals. Like, I don't know why we're turtles. I mean, when I was a kid, it used to bum me out. And then I was like, actually, it's kind of cool because there's a million tigers, but there's only one turtle. But the whole thing,

The whole thing about we love the flag and then slapping the flag on the crab, it feels like something that's just happened the last 10, 15 years. PFT, you're from this area. When we were younger, it wasn't like there were crabs on T-shirts. Who would wear that? Well, now it's like, yeah, slap a crab on and off we go. So I don't know the origin story, but I kind of like the turtle because, again, it's one of one.

I agree. I like the turtles as well. I do like it. It was like crabs, that's what you eat. If you wore a t-shirt with a crab on it, that was something that your grandfather would wear. It's like, ew. That's kind of a corny shirt. When he cracked open a Schlitz and put down the Washington Post on a picnic table and picked crabs all day. That's what we did. Yeah, exactly. I think crabs would be a bad name for a team just because it's very minor league baseball. And also, you eat crabs. You don't want to have your mascot be something. You don't want to be the Maryland Steaks. That would suck.

Right. Also, it's an STD. That's true. Good point. That's true. That's a very good point. All right, Scott, while we still have you, I have a couple other questions. One is, who do you think the MVP is in the NBA right now and should we bet it? Shea Gildas Alexander has played at an incredible level.

I think Jokic is the best player in basketball. I just think he gives us out. Say again? I was fucking with you because I saw your rant about how stupid the MVP conversation is every year, and I agree with that. Only as it relates to the betting odds. I just don't care about the betting odds. I don't want to hear about who's the favorite.

I really don't. Yeah. I agree with that. Are you big MVP guys? Cause it's not, it doesn't move. No. I was trying to be polite and answer the question. No, I think MVP discussion is, is very boring. I just don't, I want to know who's going to win, win the title. That's what I care about. I think the MVP, like, yeah, I guess if you're, if your guy wins the MVP, it's fun. It doesn't matter for the rest of the league. You know, it just doesn't matter. I'm with you. Yeah. Uh,

Scott, I watched you a couple weeks ago, and I want to compliment you because I thought that your interview with Jokic after he had 20 assists was really strong from your end. And you went into the interview thinking, maybe I'm going to get some emotion out of the guy. Maybe after this...

incredible evening. He's going to sense some of the same joy that I'm sensing and we're sensing as fans. And I think all of us were feeling the same way you were. And then he kind of was just like, yeah, you know, it's his basketball game. I look forward to next one, you know, back to practice. He did not give you anything, but you were trying very hard to drag it out of him. Did you think that you'd be able to do it? No, I said it. I believe I started by saying, I know you're wildly unimpressed by yourself.

But what you just did, no one's ever done. And I thought that was an on-ramp to maybe invite the guy to think about it. Now, supposedly, later in the locker room, I saw Malone said that he was busting Westbrook's balls. Like, you never got a 30-20-20 game? Like, he didn't know. And the thing I wished I had done, if I was a real J journalist, what I would have done is I would have asked him this question. What would you have to do

For you to right now say, holy shit, I played quite a game. Like, I don't know the answer to that because I don't I don't know that it's possible that he could do something where he would be like, yeah, that was pretty good. It's an impossible task. So you go into it knowing that. And I tried to open the door. He just didn't walk through it.

What's the guy or girl interview that you do in that setting that you feel like you've broken through and you get the most out of that person? Because you do a great job, but it's very hard right after a game to have someone collect their thoughts and talk about it. But is there one person or one interview where you're like, yeah, you know what? I've broken through and this person I actually have a good rapport with.

I have talked to LeBron very few times, but when he came on after they beat the Clippers, I got a bunch of notes from people, just industry people, sports people. They're like, it's clear that you guys have this respect. Like he shows, there's a way that, that an interview subject can show kind of an appreciation. If they call you, if they just refer to you by name, cause they know who you are. And then they give you like a depth of an answer. That's more than just the, just like,

the, the, the sort of obvious, yeah, we played great, you know, blob on to the next one. And LeBron's always been really gracious in that way. We, we haven't done it a lot, but I, I got from his camp to me, like just an appreciation for how I do my job. And there's kind of this goofy thing that goes back to the chair that I always bring up. Cause we did a commercial a hundred years ago. Um, so I'd say him, like, I, I appreciate the times that we talk where I think he gives you more than

Yeah.

That's a good answer. Yeah, that is interesting. Have you ever had an interview where somebody cried and you weren't expecting them to cry?

I can't think of anyone that wept. I know one time we talked to Dabo Sweeney after they won the title, and we weren't on the air. But it was like in a commercial break, like before we come on with you, and you're like, all right, here we go. And I saw him kind of put his head down and sort of shake his head. He was sitting by himself. And I saw him, and I said, it just hit you, didn't it? And he looked up.

And he shook his head. He goes, man, he goes, I said, yeah, you just beat Alabama. You're the national champs. And he wasn't in tears, but I saw a guy in real time feel that thing like, holy shit, we did it. And that was really cool.

Yeah. Yeah. That's very cool. I think we had that experience with Chris Berman. Chris Berman cried. Yeah. Didn't think that was possible. The swamp cried with us. He was just talking about football, though. Yeah. We just got him talking about football, and he started crying. Well, look, it's... Guys, I'm standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona. I don't know what I'm doing right now. That was pretty good. No, that was good. You...

Yeah. No, but what I love, you guys show him respect and love, which is, uh, which, which is cool. And he, the coolest thing about boom is that he's a, he's a legend, but he appreciates people still caring as you know what I'm saying? It's like,

You're Chris Berman, and you're always going to be Chris Berman. Like, I don't know. But I love how much respect you show that guy. I got a question. So we have discussed this ad nauseum. We are on one side. It seems like the Internet's on the other. What are your thoughts on Danny Hurley and this recent exchange on Sunday? We're pro-Danny Hurley. We love just –

We think that if you're in the sports media world especially, these are the guys that are interesting. You know, I don't want boring guys. I want assholes. And yeah, could he tone it down a little? Sure. But I want assholes. I love how honest and vulnerable he is.

You know, he's talked openly with me about imposter syndrome, which imagine that you're the son of that guy and you're the brother of the other guy. It's a lot. And he had this imposter syndrome. But now he's shared how his ego is, you know, it's hard to fight. And he's talked about being an a-hole. Like, I love all of that. But you also just have to be honest about the parts that you don't love. And if he's going to act like that,

and you're a UConn fan, then you got to just say, well, yeah, that could be better. Two things can be true at once. You can love the vulnerability. You can love that edge. And you can also say that there's times that that goes too far, and you should correct that, right? There's an out-of-bounds, and if you step on it, then you're out-of-bounds. And if somebody says you're out-of-bounds, they're not being an asshole for saying you're out-of-bounds. So I'm with you. I used to be real anti-Hurley. When he was at Rhodey, I'm like, this guy's out of his mind. He should...

take a hike. And then he's, he evolved and became, I think a better guy, an incredible coach, a thoughtful guy, uh,

And this year was a lot for him. So I don't know. I mean, I think he's on a journey and he's just sharing it. I appreciate the vulnerability more than any of it. Yeah, he's a little rough around the edges. What makes him sometimes a little out of line makes him great, you know? So I don't think... Well said. I agree. I think that, you know, there is a line. There's always going to be a line of what, you know, verges into complete asshole territory, unlikable behavior. He is unlikable at times, but in a weird way, I think that's why...

he tells it's a great story and he's a great character in college basketball and with, you know, players bouncing around, it's good to have those guys remain in one spot that kind of, they write the storylines for college basketball.

And can't we, at least me, I can relate way more to that guy because I know people like that. Right. You know, I have friends like that. I love them. But then there's times, but there's times that you just got to have somebody in your life that can sit you down and go, shut the fuck up. Right. I don't mean him. I mean, I mean me or my friend that you're like, enough, enough. And, you know, whoever that person is with him, I'm sure, you know, fine.

He'll find him. Yeah. He already has him. Yeah. Yeah. Like we, I have no problem. If you say Danny Hurley's dickhead, I'm like, yeah, there's some things that he does that are, yeah, there's dick. But I, I, those people are way more interesting to me than the cliche answers that we get a lot of times in sports.

Couldn't agree. That's you were asking about that earlier. Like when, when you interview somebody, like if somebody would just give you something that's true and honest and real, then that's all you can ask for. Right. Right. Scott, while we have you here, it's almost master's time. I feel like this weekend is when we hear the tinkling of the Ivories, the first commercial, the first, you know, hello friends.

Hello, friends. I was worried about this. Like, this is way out of character for us. Does this mean that postmasters, when my house may or may not be on fire, am I allowed back in? Is that too close a revisit? No, you're still in. Yeah, you're good. I mean, the Terps are in the Sweet 16. We had to have y'all. This is going to be the only time this maybe ever happens in the history of the show, so we'll have you on to discuss this. What is that, Scott? Like, I...

He's actually mad at you. He's mad at you for that. I know. That was bad. It was a low-hanging fruit. I took it. Asshole move. That was my Danny Hurley moment. Sometimes I cross the line. I've learned from it. I'm going to move on. You're not wrong. I mean, you're not wrong. It's the first time in a long time. So I'm happy to come on anytime. And if it's post-masters...

I mean, I always just pencil it in mentally. Yeah. No, I am rooting for you this weekend. I would love to see nothing more than your Terps beat the Gators and move on. I want to see you in the Final Four, Scott. I really do. But in terms of the Masters specifically, is there anybody, anyone that you're looking at to keep our eye on? Maybe an underdog that's been playing really well that you think can handle Augusta. I have absolutely no idea. That's a good answer. How are we feeling about the cell phones?

My phone? Isn't Masters doing a different thing with the cell phones this year? I don't know. I always just had a sticker, and I was allowed to have one on the low low. So I don't know. Are you allowed to have them? I heard our guy Beef was telling me about that the other day, that I think people are going to be allowed to have cell phones at Augusta.

and take pictures. I might have gotten fed misinformation about this, but that's what he told me. It would be shocking because that would be such a 180, but who told you this? Someone named Beef? Yeah, our guy Beef. Our guy Beef. Oh, Beef, your guy Beef. Yeah, yeah, it's our guy Beef. I mean, Beef knows stuff, so it could be. Yeah. Beef is a gem. Hey, I got one for you. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I got a name. He's not like way off the grid, but no one's going to say Sepp Stracke.

Ooh, that's Drakka, Georgia Bulldog. I like that. Take a nibble on Sepp. Okay. Sepp Drakka. All right, I'm in. That's all I needed. You'll maybe cross paths with our guy Beef at some point. He is a consummate pro in the fact that no matter where he is, he will take off his hat to shake your hand. So he'll do it like not even on the golf course. Yeah, that's Beef. I saw that video. That's Beef.

And Beef's from somewhere in the south, clearly. No, he's actually right on the Illinois-Wisconsin border is where he's from. So, yeah, he's a club pro. That's a very southern play, hat off, handshake. Yeah. And just to clear up some misinformation, I might have gotten some misinformation from Beef because I researched it. It said cell phones are not allowed at the 2025 Masters Tournament. So, bullet dodged. I was very upset about that. Good that we got to the bottom of that so quickly. Yeah. Yeah.

So, on balance, beef, good on the hat, takeoff, very polite, bad on the info regarding Masters technology. Yes, he might have gotten dunk-sintled. I'm thinking that, or ball-sacked. He might have gotten ball-sacked. He got ball-sacked sport. All right, Scott, I got one last question for you. Rowback question. RHOPACK.COM, promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback.com, promo code TAKE. My last question is a two-parter. First part is I just need...

confidence level going into Thursday? And at what point during the day are you going to be like all hands on deck? Everyone leave me alone. Okay. Confidence level is five because you, it's, I always say be optimistic because it costs the same. I'm also realistic. So five, I don't think they haven't gotten crushed all year. I don't think they'll get crushed, but it's going to take a great game to beat a great team.

The problem with when will I tell my family to leave me alone? My wife is a gator, and my children are in the crossfire. And at some point in the day, Big Cat, what I'll make them do is I'll make them make a life choice. You're either riding with me or you're riding with mom. Yeah. That's heavy. Wild plot twist. You got to put out all their clothes in the morning. Yeah.

You know, at night. Choices have consequences, kids. Choices have consequences. Think about it. You've got to tooth fairy it. You've got to have all their clothes out, go in their rooms at 2 a.m., and make sure their clothes for Thursday are all Terps.

No, it's funny. Our kids are all mortified. I think they're taking it very seriously. Like, this is like, I either have to ride with mom or ride with dad. They had Golden on last week. I asked him. He gave an incredible answer. I'm like, what am I supposed to tell the kids? And he's like, you tell the kids you're here to be a great dad and you support mom and you're thrilled to see the Gators do so well. He gave an amazing answer. It was wrong because...

Again, the right answer is you better, you better buckle up and ride with that here. But no, I don't, I wish it were later. I'm I, this is, I got to go. And I know you do too, but are you the guy like me where I just want to kick it down the,

kick the can down the road as far as possible. I wish the game started at 10. So I had more time for it not to be happening. Yes. Cause I just, the longer in the future it is, the better. Is that, is that weird? It's first round. You want it to happen earlier. Like first round. I don't want, you don't want to be the Friday night game in the first round, but if you make it to the second weekend, you want to be a Friday game. So you just have a little more time to just enjoy the fact that you're in the second weekend.

Right. And the fact that this was a Sunday game and then it's like they're playing on Thursday. I'm like, what is this? Yeah, I want another day of the because the end is coming for even if you win at all, like the end is coming. So the longer into the future, something is.

For some reason, I think I find it's better. I think we agree, but I don't understand what that's... There's some psychology of that. I don't know what it is. I'm just odd, I'm sure. No, I think that's completely relatable. So you want another day. If it was on Friday, then you could spend all Thursday watching the games and then also reading more articles about the Terps and the Terps' magical run. You get to watch more highlights without having that sadness where it's like, that was a great run. I get to enjoy this day of celebration. Stress-free.

And it's somebody else's... Like, honestly, and this is true. Like, watching Wisconsin, and of course, it's not just you, Big Cat. It's Andy North, who's like a family member. And I'm in agony watching that end because I'm like, that sucks. But I'm like, well...

At least we don't have to deal with that for another day because we were the next day. You know what I mean? That's really what it comes down to. Yeah, and college sports is – I know you've got to go, but the college sports is so different than pros. I was explaining it like it's like a different type of – it's sadness in that I won't get to watch these specific guys ever again. It's not a next year. It's like that's it. John Tonje will never wear a Badger uniform again, and I just wanted to watch one more game. So that's where it's ripped from you so quickly. It's just all of a sudden you're like, oh, that's over. That sucks.

And the way the world works, it'll be... But Gardo, I was just giving Gardo credit for reinventing the team. They played a very fun style, and they got a bunch of dudes that changed the team in one year. So they can do it again, but it'll be a brand new team. That's the world we live in now. There's no...

Very rare to have four-year guys, so if you get some, you enjoy them. Yeah, yeah. All right, Scott. We'll root for the Terps. We'll hope the kids make good choices, and we hope the family isn't just horribly, irreparably fractured after Thursday night. If they told you, Dad, we're actually going to root for the over, would that make you happy? Yeah, do that. Happier than anything in the whole world. All right, Scott, you're the best. Thank you so much. Good luck to the Terps. We're rooting for you. All right, fellas, I appreciate you.

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Okay, guys on chicks, I did just get tagged in two tweets that I wanted to bring up real quick. They're kind of on the opposite ends of the spectrum here. So one is I was just made aware. I think you were tagging this as well. PFT. There's a guy who has been tweeting for 2654 days that Jesse James caught that ball. It's important to keep people every single day.

That guy deserves a shout out. That's insane. 2017 was that game. He deserves a shout out. That's grit. And then there's a guy, American Matt 7 on Twitter. He's on day two of tagging both of us till we acknowledge New Mexico outplayed Michigan State and got hosed by the refs. There's your acknowledgement. Day two. You can now rest. Acknowledge without comment. All right.

I like doing it as quick. The Jesse James guy, though. Yeah. Jesse James, he did catch that ball. It's crazy. Remember that, Hank? Yeah. 2017. Hank, do you think he caught that ball? No.

All right. Well, now he's got to keep going. I do like, though, when someone gets on that, I think there's a guy floating out there that's been tagging Max Homa every day for like a thousand days to play golf with him. But I do like getting to someone like in the first two or three and just being like, all right, cool. Acknowledged. Yeah. You're good. The day ones are always the best. If I see a day one of tagging PFT commenter until something, I'm way more likely to respond to that. Yeah. Just going to be like, all right, we're good. All right.

What do you got? Breaking news? No. Breaking news. Breaking news. St. Bonaventure's has signed big man Frank Mitchell from Minnesota. Well, Woj tweeted the bomb emoji, and then it got everyone excited, and then it was just St. Bonaventure. It's Frank Mitchell. I love that. I love that from Woj.

So many people still have Woj notifications on their phone. Yeah. Now they're getting overloaded with St. Bonnie's news. Perfect job. It's huge. Okay. Hank, guys on chicks. My boyfriend and I have been...

Having an ongoing discuss about pillows. He thinks it's weird I sleep with my pillows perpendicular to the bed and he sleeps with them parallel. He's been making fun of me nonstop, so I told him to take a poll of all of our friends. When he asked girls, nearly all of them said perpendicular and all the guys said parallel. What? There's no way. Is this weird and why is he wrong for making fun of me for this? I think you might just not know the difference between parallel and perpendicular. Is she saying she sleeps with a pillow lengthwise? No.

Like aligning with her body? I do have a body pillow, but I have a head pillow too. Yeah, the head pillow, it always goes. How many pillows you guys? I'm three. I'm legs...

Body, head. I'm two. Yeah, no, that's the correct answer. I'm two. I go head and then one between the knees. Yeah, yeah, that's the, yeah. No, but you got to hug one too. Yeah, you got to have one to hug. My hug one is smaller than the other two. Mine are all the same. Yeah. I hug all, yeah. I'm four. Four? But I really only use two. Well, then that's the question is how many you got?

What do you mean? What do you use? What's in use? Two. I don't have a hug pillow or a leg pillow. You don't have a leg pillow? But I do have the secondary pillow. Sometimes it's like that's my cooler, like wake up and shift to the cold pillow. So you just raw dog two under your head.

Yeah, they're pillows. You got nothing in between your legs? Do you not have balls? No. What do you mean? That's why I need the leg pillow, because if you lay on your side with your knees touching, that's just squishing your balls. You got tiny balls? You got tiny balls. I guess. You got tiny balls. Damn. Big dick, tiny balls. Henry Lockwood. Hank, it might also just be you could start using a leg pillow if somebody told you that made your golf swing better. That's true. Do anything. It does help. Does it?

I actually do. I have three pillows now that I think about it. One under the head, one between the knees, and then the third I take off the bed every day and I throw on the floor. Yeah. I got one of those too. I should just go with two pillows, but I have three every day. I also have a separation pillow in the middle of the bed to just divide the... Because I don't want my wife coming over to my side in the middle of the night. We sleep with separate blankets too because I am a violent sleeper.

I am moving. I get yelled at for stealing the blanket every single time. You got to go to blankets. It's life changing. Do that. Go to blankets. It literally is life changing because I know I'm a bad blanket guy. I'm wrapped up. I wake up and my blankets and pillows are everywhere. And it's like I've ran a marathon. So you need to put that memes. Memes could strike me as like a zero pillow. Memes might be a hammock guy. Yeah. No, he's a I fall asleep on the recliner in front of my nine TVs. Or like you have one of those inversion tables.

You just strap your ankles in it, sleep upside down like a bat. How many pillows you got memes? I have three pillows. Sometimes I don't use any. Yeah. Yeah. You just go flat. I go flat. You strike me as zero pillow guy. I don't know this question. This question makes no sense. Perpendicular, horizontal. Is this person saying they do not have a pillow under their head? No, they're saying that they put the pillow lengthwise, which is crazy. Oh, I see.

That makes no sense. So they're sleeping on just a small portion. Yeah. And I guess if you're smaller, like even me, I'm 5'10", basically. But if I lay in a bed and I go pillow lengthwise, I run out of bed at the bottom. Yeah. If you're at the bottom of your lengthwise pillow. Huh. Maybe it's a small pillow.

It could be a small pillow. It could be decorative. It could be the half-size pillow. It could be decorative. Yeah. But then it wouldn't matter. Yeah, if it's square, it's square. Yeah, if it's square, it doesn't matter. No, some of it would have to go up the headboard. A little bit, yeah. Unless it's a true half pillow. There's no world where that makes any sense. Yeah, why would that be better? Yeah, this girl's a freak. And her friends, too. Respectfully. Freak.

Hey, guys. Love the show. Oh, thank you. My boyfriend likes to wrestle me. Like running tackle slams onto the bed, flipping me upside down, WWE type stuff. Yeah. He says it's his way of showing love and I should appreciate it. It's just that he's so much bigger than me. I don't know what to do back. Do you have any suggestions? Moves I don't know about? Yeah. The noogie. Noogie is always a good one. Nutshot. Nutshot. Fish hook. Fish hook. Fish hook is diabolical. It's the equalizer. No, I was going to say wet willy. Oh. Wet willy. Dry willy.

Dry Willie. You take, you put your finger in your own ear and then you put your finger in the other person's mouth. That's diabolical. I've done that a few times. Little finger up the butt. Ah, yeah, no, you got to let them just do it. This is a, or you know what? A real solution is just have kids because I like one of the best parts about being a dad is I am so much stronger than my kids. It's crazy. I fucking can throw them around. I can pick them up, put them over my head.

I feel like a monster when I'm just grabbing them and throwing them because I just feel like the strongest man alive. So it's a cool feeling. I'm so much stronger than them. Five-year-old, no problem. Hey, six out of ten, big cat. Oh. So true, PFT. Oh. Hank, shout out to it. And don't trust the process, Max. I've been dating my 30-year-old boyfriend for two and a half years, and we've lived together for about one and a half years.

Lately, he won't stop putting his fingers up my nose. Several times a day, he'll just randomly shove his fingers up my nose. When I try to swat his hands away or ask him why he's doing that, he tells me to protect my holes. Is this normal guy behavior? It's smart advice. It's good advice on the whole. What is that? Like fifth base fingering somebody's nose? Yeah. It's a weird move. Fourth? I don't know. Ears, nose. It depends where you rank them. Yeah. I guess he's just whole curious. Yeah.

Yeah, he just wants to find some holes. He wants to know every hole. What holes is he doing again? Nose. Protect your holes. That's kind of a funny, like, just put it up someone's nose. All the time? Not all the time. Every now and then, it could be funny. Does he just do it like a quick twist, or does he try to go excavating? Is he, like, picking boogers out?

He won't stop putting his fingers up my nose. So fingers to double nose. I can't breathe. You could kill her. When do you think, like, in popular culture, like, picking your nose became gross? Because I pick my nose all the time. Who doesn't pick their nose? You have to pick your nose. Yeah. Like, when we're on live streams, people will be like, oh, caught you picking your nose. No, duh, dude. I'm picking my nose. Yeah, because you might get caught on live stream with a booger in your nose. Yeah. I'd much rather pick my nose than have a booger flying out of my nose. Yeah.

max had one the other day and i like i actually felt bad saying something you think it's weird to stick your uh so you watch someone like picking their nose or like picking their ear picking their ears weird yeah doing that is weird you just gotta clean out your holes but picking your nose is more frowned upon i think yeah i know that doesn't make sense i think it's because it's implied that you might eat it i don't eat my boogers just so everyone's clear never have and you pick it ever will you flick it yeah

Wait, what? Okay.

I feel like this might be written by a guy. Yeah, there's no way. Because she's calling it reverse cowgirling the toilet. Yeah. And also, like, you don't... Peeing takes two seconds.

Your arms wouldn't fall asleep if you pee. I would say don't do that. I feel like if you did that shitting, that would be just a lot of shit at the front of your toilet, and that would be a problem. There's a graphic that goes viral once every couple years that says, did you know? It's one of those things where they say you've been doing it wrong this whole time. Did you know that toilets are actually meant to be shit on facing the tank because you have a place to rest your book on top of it?

Again, I don't think that's true. No, I don't think that's true. Because all the water's at the back. Yeah. Which is where the butthole is. I think this guy might be trying to fuck his toilet. Like, if you're sitting that way, you're probably dipping it in. Dipping dong in the water? You're dipping a little dong. It's like you're going fishing. Yeah, I can't think of a reason why you would do that. Yeah, I think this is a guy who wrote it in. Or...

Another freak. Yeah. How old were you when you discovered that this is the proper way to sit on the toilet? That's a great post. That definitely gets people curious and doing stuff. Yeah. It's a life hack. All right. Last one.

My name is Kimmy, and I had a question, or really just asking for advice on what to do here in this situation. I love my boyfriend dearly, but for about six months now, he's been rating everything he eats on the boom meter. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was funny the first week or so, but now it's gone too far. No. It's to the point where he keeps a detailed notes list on his phone of different restaurants' menus, my cooking, and now even my mom's cooking with a ranking...

scale of one to five booms. Yep. I drew the line when after we finished eating my mom's favorite chicken enchiladas, he pulled out his phone, got the notes app out during dinner and you could hear him saying under his breath while typing, I give this 4.2 booms. He loves this. I love him. But don't

Oh, this is cut off. He loves this. I love him, but don't know if it will stop now because I've asked him and it hasn't. It's almost like a tick. What do I do? You just got to wait. You got to wait for the next thing to come out and he'll move on to it. Stopping him. Asking him to stop is the opposite of what you should be doing. Just ignore it. But also this guy rocks and you got a real one.

Get married to him right now. Yeah, it might not work, but one thing you could do is just do the thing where you do it more than him, and then he gets annoyed at you doing it, so then he stops. Well, what you could do is... But that might not work because he might love you doing it, and then you're just stuck in Boomville. Yeah, what you could do is you could rate his ratings and rate it on the Doom scale.

So you could give him a doom for his rating of your mom's enchiladas being booms. I was hoping that every single rating this guy had was going to be five booms. Yeah. They're all good. Yeah, that's got to suck when he throws out one boom. What is it? 4.2 booms? Yeah, I don't know if you can do 0.2 booms either. No, you can't. It's binary. Boom, boom, boom, boom. That's a boo. Yeah.

Yeah, this guy is awesome, though. I love this guy. Yeah, you're right. You can't do decimals with the booms. It's either a boom or it's not. It's one. It's not a half a boom. Yeah. Tell him that. Tell him, play him this and be like, hey, we love this guy. He rocks, but his rating system is all fucked up. So either he fixes that or he stops altogether. I'd prefer him to fix it and keep going, but he can't be doing 4.2s. No.

I could see whatever the new trend is that's going to happen in like six months. He'll just incorporate that instead of boom. Then you'll have to get upset at him about that. Let guys have hobbies. Sounds like he's passionate about this. I would encourage it. Also, sounds like he's keeping a good log of where you can go back to dinner. Yeah, this is actually, if you take out the boom and the Costco guys from the equation, he's being a good boyfriend. Right. Like, oh, we want Thai tonight. And he's like, actually, I don't know.

I had a four. We can't do 4.5, a five boom tide dinner, you know, a month ago. Yeah. It says right here. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I love those guys. When he's doing it. I wonder, does he, does he flex? Does he, does he do the whole deal? Maybe that's what you say. You say, Hey, if you're going to do the booms, you don't have anywhere near the biceps of big justice. Like, like maybe, maybe, maybe you can, the best thing that could happen out of this is you get them in the gym. Yeah.

And he still does it. Just to make the booms better. Yeah, the booms. Yeah. Okay. Good show, boys. Jeff Passant on Friday talking baseball. Numbers. Three. Somebody on the back. Do you want three? No, it's okay. Someone on the bachelor party said 22. That was their submission. Okay. Just pick 22. One. 63. Two. 60 what? 63. 99. Oh, there's a ball in there. 29.

What was your guess? 63. Oh, it would have been 61. Oh. Everyone got the numbers in? Two fans. You have two? Two. I think today's going to be the day three comes out. Stop. 22. 22. 22. It can't be three. You're never going to get it. It can't be three. 74. You want to do one more, Memes? Yeah, let's do one more. All right. Numbers. Two. Three. 22. 22.

63. 54. Memes, you got to realize when we steal your numbers, it's just as much nervous for us because if you end up getting it right on a stone, like if you get 54 here, we're to blame. Fair. So it's a risk, but you're also never going to get it. 99. So Max has three. I have 22. 54.

78. Was that back to back? No. 74 and 78. And it was 76, that last one, I'm pretty sure. And 75 was stuck in there. Yeah. Love you guys. You're never going to get it. Auto insurance can all seem the same until it comes time to use it. So don't get stuck paying more for less coverage. Switch to USA Auto Insurance and you could start saving money in no time. Get a quote today. Restrictions apply. USA.

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