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cover of episode Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563

Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563

2025/1/23
logo of podcast Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

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Alison Wood Brooks
哈佛商学院谈判和对话专家,研究对话心理学和情绪影响
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Alison Wood Brooks: 我在研究和教授关于对话的课程中学到的一件事是,我们向自己和他人证明我们很重要,以及他们也很重要的证据,往往是在我们对话的过程中,以及在我们做出一些细微的选择的那些瞬间,这些选择表明,哦,我相信我自己,或者我相信你。微小的善意和恶意的区别有时在记录中看起来非常细微,但在这些互动的感情体验中,差异可能是巨大的,这取决于你传达了你相信自己很重要以及你有多关心对方,并传达他们也很重要。 我意识到,在与他人互动时,我们所做的就是一系列的微小选择。如果我们能更有效地做出一些选择,因为我们经常每天与各行各业的人交谈,累积起来,如果你能更有效地做出一些选择,这将对你的生活、你的事业、你的家庭、你的爱情生活,所有的一切都会产生巨大的影响。 我们应该努力修复那些注意力不集中的时刻。如果你注意到自己的思绪在游离,你可以提出一些修复性的问题,例如:嘿,约翰,我觉得你问了一个很好的问题,但我错过了后半部分。你能再说一遍吗?道歉是修复不专心时刻最有效的策略,它能表达你对他人及其观点的重视。 在对话中,我们不断地选择话题,而有效地管理话题能更好地服务于我们的目标。及时转换话题能保持对话的活力和参与度。提问是引导对方表达想法,建立联系的有效工具。追问和开放式提问是建立良好沟通的关键。以“What”开头的开放式问题比以“Why”开头的提问更有效,更能避免让对方产生防御心理。在任何情境下,提问过少都比提问过多更危险。 幽默和轻松的氛围能有效避免对话陷入沉闷,保持对话的参与度。无聊和缺乏兴趣是破坏对话的隐形杀手。在对话中引用之前说过的话(callbacks)是展现你认真倾听,并重视对方的一种方式。运用callbacks是优秀对话者常用的技巧,它能展现你对对方的关心和重视。积极倾听是表达善意,让对方感受到被重视的重要方式。用言语表达你对对方的倾听和理解,比单纯的肢体语言更能展现你的真诚。通过言语表达你的倾听,能更有效地展现你对对方的关心和尊重。 即使在私下对话中,我们语言中的微小选择也会对他人产生巨大影响,决定了我们是否在表达善意或恶意。对话是将善意付诸实践,并避免伤害他人的绝佳机会。 John R. Miles: 作为一名主持人,我经常在节目中与嘉宾探讨微小的选择对生活的影响。我个人也经历过注意力不集中的时刻,这会让对方感觉不被重视。在工作中,我曾努力通过与员工的对话来肯定他们的价值,帮助他们克服不被重视的感觉。 我儿子在学习商业的过程中,非常重视将课堂练习与实际客户互动相结合,这让我意识到实践的重要性。在与Alison的对话中,我学习到了很多关于如何通过有效的沟通来提升自我价值感并建立有意义的联系的技巧,例如提前准备话题、运用开放式提问、积极倾听以及运用callbacks等。 我还谈到了我最近制作的关于神经多样性和知行合一的节目,这些节目也与行为科学和有效沟通相关。在与Alison的对话中,我了解到,即使是看似简单的对话,也需要我们付出努力和练习,才能达到最佳效果。优秀的对话者并非天生如此,他们付出了大量的努力和练习。

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In this transformative episode of Passion Struck, host John R. Miles is joined by Dr. Alison Wood Brooks, a behavioral scientist, Harvard Business School professor, and author of the groundbreaking book TALK: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves). Together, they explore how intentional communication can deepen connections, affirm our sense of mattering, and unlock greater meaning in our relationships.

Drawing on her pioneering research, Dr. Brooks introduces her TALK framework—Topics, Asking, Levity, and Kindness—and demonstrates how even small shifts in how we communicate can profoundly impact our personal and professional lives. Whether you’re navigating tough conversations, striving to build trust, or seeking to create a culture of inclusion, this episode is packed with actionable insights to transform the way you connect with others.

Link to the full show notes:  https://passionstruck.com/alison-wood-brooks-on-every-conversation-matter/)

Sponsors:

In this episode, you will learn:

  • How conversations are more than just words—they’re opportunities to make others feel seen, valued, and heard.
  • Practical strategies to approach even the most difficult conversations with curiosity and kindness.
  • How to actively listen in a way that fosters trust and understanding.
  • The TALK framework: Topics, Asking, Levity, and Kindness, and how it transforms communication into a tool for connection and growth.
  • Why intentional communication is key to creating relationships that matter.

Connect with Alison Wood Brooks: https://alisonwoodbrooks.com/)

**Next Week on Passion Struck:**Next week, join John for a captivating conversation with Dr. Dave Vago, a neuroscientist and mindfulness expert, as they explore how our brains are wired for belonging and purpose. It’s a powerful discussion you won’t want to miss!

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