Serial S02 - Ep. 7: Hindsight, Part 1
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yeah, I wanted that adventure. And one of that action I want in that moment of a journal, I want of that moment of previously cereal.

we all felt like, why are we up here?

Keep going out and shaking hands?

Oh yeah.

that's a classic. I love IT. And this is the one where I said, and I don't want to see more, this fucking learns of a rabia shit and I said out loud, let's do .

this first thing comes out. Commanders mouth is what you couldn't have 点。

but the are is to everyone's G A D, I, C I.

F, B, I, A false sumption.

american. Ans, behind your statement. Tes, three hundred native pages.

Yeah.

excuse me. Can I talk to somebody? I need to report a missing person.

From this american life in W B. Easy chicago, its cereal, one story told week by week. I'm saracenic. If I were a soldier with some pride, with principles, and I had to come up with a reason for walking off into afghanistan for causing a crisis on so many levels, I might engineer something like both explanation that I was sacrificing myself for the team because I thought they were in danger. It's a way to save face, to say my intentions were noble and good. Over the months of reporting the story, I have wondered about this, whether bow was really telling the truth about why he left his, or if he was telling the version he could live with mark. And i've also debated this, of course, once when we were talking mark to the microphone and started to interview me.

why? Guess I meant, just in a more narrow sense. Do you think he's lying?

嗯。

I mean, i'm just asking you.

like the crucis .

tend still bothers me. The crucis tend still bothers me. Remember the guti tent? The taliban said the first captured bow when he wandered into a gucci tent or near a gucci tent which wasn't part of bose telling IT all, and made me think if bow had walked into a cucu tent, maybe he wasn't really headed to fob shona to tell someone about leadership problems.

Maybe he was just trying to run away looking for help. Mark, I had that conversation back in september. I've since moved on from the guti ten. I don't think it's terrified or that much of a discrepancy with both version of what happened actually. So I let him go. But all this is to say I can understand why some of the people both served with when I first talk to them, they didn't buy both story. They thought maybe he contacted IT in hindsight, when I put IT to one of those paton mates, shame cross, he said, quote, he had some years to work on that unquote.

There's a listening of reasons why someone could be skeptical of those explanation. First, his premise that leadership was dangerously bad for the most part. The soldiers we talked to didn't degree.

In fact, most of said they actually love some of their leaders that they were great. And lute chino clinton Baker, the battering commander bow, responded to so negatively again. Overall, they didn't think he was putting them in situations that were crazy risky or that they couldn't handle. Then the notion that bode have to do something so dramati C2Be lis ten to als o not tru e.

they said, which is so bitterly outlandish. It's insulting.

I mean, what IT .

doesn't oh, man, because where they were and a couple of days prior they were on fob shona, which is huge and has all sorts of officers, any any one of whom he could have gone and torchy.

that's mark mercury. There's an open door policy that allows you to approach any officer at all with a problem. Doesn't have to be in your chain of command, though. Whether an officer would have taken both seriously, I had to say, is doubtful.

And both knew that a big one I heard from quite a few people was a bow, either was in kao's with local afghan or even wanting to contact the talian. Here's darl hanson, john thermal. I mean.

for him, just like walk out where he did, like he wasn't afraid of them.

He he .

had had some kind of compassion form and didn't like us firmed to walk away.

You know like i'm way again. I have to go back to the question where you going to go because there's there's no other option. You've either got our side or the taliban said.

A lot of people pointed out that bow hung out with the afgan police, who were also stationed at the outpost at mast. A tea with them, eight meals with them. Other people .

did to the great food.

But some people said boat was there, more often seemed more interested in them than other people did. Josh quarter said that boat was once late for a guard shift, and he had to go looking for him. And he found him having tea with the afghans.

Then the deb went missing jush, as he heard that two of the A, M, P. Guys were also unaccounted for. Two afghan police were missing as well. So that seemed very logical to me. That all seemed kind of make sense because, okay, well, now he may have two guides, or he has two people he is looking to meet up with. Maybe bow had made a deal with these amp guys, and someone betrayed them or sold them out to the taliban.

I tried to check this until I called the former governor of pacifico province in afghanistan a guy who had worked pretty closely with the leaders in both batta, but he wouldn't talk to me on a cell phone. He didn't vite me to visit in person, which was very nice, but not immediately helpful. I did not see anything about the missing cops in the wiki league reports or in general goals investigation.

The executive officer of both battling told me he'd heard this rumor too, about some missing afghan, but he did not know if anything came of IT sama uth upside. The afghan reporter asked around about IT as well. He told us there was a report of the missing afghan police, but IT was later discredited. Market heard the summer two, he ask about IT.

Then the idea was, you had to make in p guys who are going to help you out, or no, or or local police. I know, I know enough .

of the culture. I knew enough of the situation going on that you do not trust those people. And I I was right, because those of the guys were turning on us know, and they have every reason to, unfortunately, both said the reason .

he hung g out with the A, N P. Sometimes was because that was part of the mission, build a report in case they ever ended up in a firefight together. He was trying to do coin, he says.

That's also why he tried to learn a little pashto, which some soldiers also said made them suspicious. The evidence people point to most often, though, to support the idea that bow was simply deserting, that he had no higher purpose, was that he had talked about doing exactly that, taking off. Several people told general doll the'd heard both say things about walking into the mountain of pakistan or heading to india. He told one person something like this, even before he deployed while he was still alaska. Here's Chris angles, probably both closest friend in the bottle.

I made him talking about, you know, the mountains and how great they look. And you imagine, and just walking out there, I thought I was right there. When was about .

IT shame? Cross said he'd had a conversation with boat the night before he left the O. P. IT was evening. Some of the guys were sitting around in the shade of a truck just talking, and the topic came up. How would you fake your death?

No, no, go of a Cliff. And he tells me that he, you fake your death gangs war. That would be the best place do with that. You just disappear. Anyone see your casual. And he says that his goal that he was to fake his death would then even get through pakistan and to india and doing up with game over there.

Austin langford was there too, and this was the first time he'd ever talked about the night before he left the OK. And Austin remembers the conversation .

about the same way shame as wanting to be a mercenary of sorts. And IT was something along the lines of. He was gonna join a group a, go up in their ranks and then kill the leader. And then then he'd .

been known .

for being a mercenary or something like that.

That's what you remember.

That's what the gist I got.

Uh, he said in russia, russia mouse, a big influence in india, good gangs. And told me, he told me brushing that he worked his way up to you, gain into the russian mob and began a hit man.

but also asked about a weapon. He was issued a saw, a big, heavy machine. Shame, Carried a pistol, and m. Nine.

he tells me, hey, what would happen if you're not really disappeared 嗯， in trouble?

We like as A T V question, like, yeah, of course. And then not.

what wasn't your fault? What if someone took you from you? I said that I get in trouble. go. okay?

I didn't take a gun with them when you laugh. Looking back on IT now though, shame says it's like if an ice cream truck drove by and somebody said, hey, i'd like some ice cream and then the next thing you know, the person's gone, you're gna figure they went after the ice cream truck. For his part, Austin was reluctant to tell me about this conversation because obviously he .

knows how IT sounds. It's a little extreme and I kind of want to make him seem like he was crazy or or you know, not in his right mind because we all had weird thoughts while were over their isolated from anybody.

Other words, wonderful sty comments like this, maybe I can see all that strange, so many people told me, fear plus stress, less bodog plus war zone.

means you say some really overall stuff.

Another patron made Jason fry told me he wrote letters to a friend when he was in afghanistan. He had got them back years later, and when he went through them, he thought, what was I thinking? Who was I? Who's mark? My curry did?

The things that we get away with saying to each other are completely ludicrous. To give you an example, the four hood shooting was went on. Well, we were there, and I remember we were watching IT on some Greeny television in the on the armed forces network in the child hall. And my my body looks after me because if we have to go back out again tonight, i'm going to make for hood look like church.

Yeah, just super dark.

And created so dark at the time is the only kind of humor we understand. I mean, we're wound .

up pretty tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. General dog considered all the evidence, pointing to the idea that boy was deserting permanently.

He heard about the weird comments about the intel, and he concluded bow was telling the truth. Bose quote, stated motive was well meaning in his mind darud. Ironically, the basis for his stated motive was incorrect. And quote, mark spent about a year thinking IT through, and he also ended up believing bow for lots of reasons, partly just for practical reasons. For instance, in bow was such a careful planner, he was an outdoor kid who'd grown up in the mountains. If he intended to just disappear or permanently dessert, why wouldn't bring more food, more water, both on his computer and some other staff home in a box before he left the O, P, which some people see his evidence he was leaving for good. Mark, is that as the opposite?

Then take IT with you if you're going to india, thw IT in a backpack and a charger, you know you know he sent stuff home yeah because he thought he was going stateside, because he thought he was he was gna have an audience with the general and they're going to throw the Better worth.

This is probably true .

that he that he anticipated getting his computer back. Um that's why there's nothing really at the end of day that points to the idea that this was a permanent departure as he just is. He just didn't pack for that.

You know it's .

fanya that's like it's just it's that about but details like .

this that's ultimately not what convinced, mark, he's log something like twenty five hours of taped conversation with and many more hours of conversations, not on tape.

The more I learned about both, and the more I learned about how his mind worked, and the more I talk to him about not just history, but other subjects, and realizing that, yeah, of course, I would never walk off a day, you know, and yeah, most of his bottom never would. So if that makes sense, IT is IT is a totally wack dudu conclusion to .

make but .

like not a fear by bert .

to then IT .

makes perfect sense.

So how doesn't make sense if your burberry .

go when both finally .

SAT down for an interview with general doll, he didn't just go back to deployment to explain what happened. Once he got to afghanistan, he went all the way back to home, to iao, to his childhood there. He'd done a lot of thinking while he was locked up in that cage with the taliban.

I'm looking at myself are looking at the situation. And going, how did I get here in that question took me back into my childhood as IT was like, I got here because I made a choice. But that choice was followed. Know that choice, follow another choice with another choice. And IT just there's that backwards.

both sort to throw his upbringing and found IT wanting .

and give you a bit of a backstory, literally grew up by myself in the middle of nowhere and growing up home, school and out in the middle nowhere. I grew up by myself taking care of myself, being completely isolated from human beings.

So you just grow up like fucking around in the woods and like stuff like that very much.

I mean, I grew up following can there's usually like six cats and meat dogs and horses and events, chicken s you. So I grew wondering around the willingness with guns, di gun, their gun, twenty tools. And and and just there was IT. I just wandered around.

Bug up and forty acres down a dirt road in a valley outside the small town of hailey. His father worked at U. P.

S. His mother homeschool him in his older sister, but had a hard time with the school work. He couldn't read very well then he couldn't take in what was on the page.

And so he wasn't good at his work. He wouldn't do IT. And he says he get punished for that and for other things in a way that he says felt unpredictable to him. Both says he was scared all the time of getting in trouble, and they didn't have the greatest relationship with his parents .

because dad is a strong personality. If you met personally, I like pretty cold.

It's just complicated, both solution the same one. And teenagers have used for centuries.

get out of the house and office, I think, out of the legal age. And so I started spending more time at work. Work turned that turned in to my saving Grace, basically, because they got me out of the house for an official reason. So at eight thirteen, I kind of basically start a movie. Now I spend more time at work and went on to sleep and eat maybe dinner, breakfast, and then go back to word.

When he was about fifteen, both fell in with a family that was pretty different from the one he'd grown up with. Someone he met through his job convinced him to take fencing classes of a little performing art school in catchum, the next town over from Haley kim Harrison. She's the one from episode five who told a story about contacting interpool. Kim was having run the school. Her son also took fencing classes there, and her daughter caller took belly soon bows around all the time.

He ended up becoming attached our family.

That's kala. A few people told me, if you want to know about bow, talk to kala. SHE understands him, keller says with her boat was watchful in serious and very sweet.

like one birthday for my birthday card. He went around our small little town with a card and just asked random people to sign up for me. Very little message. yeah. Was the coolest idea.

And knowing bow and how shy he is and how a little he wants to you being noticed, and how the strangers know who is, know that was an even bigger gesture than IT seemed like, because, you know, that's part winter. He doesn't want to do that. I know he doesn't like that.

right? This is like teenager bow tie.

sixteen.

seven.

super quiet. He would blush very easily. He's going to very mad at me for saying that. But he blushed was really easily. And so, you know, he was, he was really easily embarrassed and he just, he didn't he he wanted I know he he was this gentlemanly is a good word. He is a very much a gentleman and very, very conscious about saying the wrong thing or being an appropriate or anything like that.

The Harrison opened up a tea place in kitchen to the ski town. The tea bar was called trigger. They are food and had a little beauty gue and help movie nights or hosted performances to hang out.

basically. Kala and her brother worked there. They're about home school two and bow worked there.

D do he would make help me make craps sometimes, or mostly, he would hide weapons everywhere and like, sitting the corner and watch people. He like security, like, I remember we had, we just have like random weapons, like hidden everywhere. Like there was like, you got like a flail, like the Spike ball on the end of a chain, right, I think was like underneath the cabinet somewhere. And there was like an ice pick.

K had next to like A J and no.

no, no. I mean, kind of we thought of a kind of funny, but but him IT was like, you know, you need weapons available when you need them, and you never had to use them, obviously. But you know, he he was in charge of being the safety guy and know he met every cool he wanted to be. I'm sure my mom, you for my mom's data, that is the protector.

I have heard her mom say this. In fact, all the friends I spoke to from that circle say the same thing that he wanted to protect people. Catching was kind of far from both house. So bob began staying at the Harrisons for stretches for a while.

He eventually, ted strigl kim says, especially when he was Younger, he was like, both was studying their family to see how they Operated, how they got along, how they argued, what action would lead to reaction. Other people wandered into strega, began working there, and also became part of the family. There was chat, and all these people love them.

They talk about how unusual he is, how smart, how playful, how creative and how totally annoying he could be. He might argue with you, unrelenting. Ly, just to see how far he could push.

Or a tape is male. Ut, for a couple days, see what would happen. But was a teenager who'd never been to school.

And now, with the trager crowd, he was testing out ideas, testing out behaviors, and maybe more than most people, he worked on improving himself as if he were in training. His friend said he was sometimes a little overboard. He might punch trees or bricks to toughen up his hands. He wanted to get Better at things, at reading or dancing or writing corrupt stories. Mostly, though he was trying to figure .

himself out. IT really mattered to him the seeking and knowing what kind of. And he was gonna.

Nick was about five years old than both. He also worked at he and bow would talk and talk for hours. Sometimes, nick, as I wasn't so much that bow was searching for something concrete, like a profession, he was rustling with the big existent al questions.

And I really think so much of I had to do with a question of a virtue of what was right more than anything, I think that's what he is. What he was really working on IT and focused on all the time was was coming up with this these values from itself. And he just did a lot of watching to see what everyone else did and and reflected against IT. And he didn't wanted to be anyone else. Bow wasn't .

gonna take anyone else's word for IT about what was right, what was moral. He was gonna ford his own code, and kale says the one he ended up adapting for himself. IT was strict, and I was uncompromising.

I ve had arguments about with this, with him about this many times. And he gets really know, passionate about IT lake.

You know.

there's a problem in the world, but what kind of human are you unless you're doing something about IT like you're not you're not a good person. If you know that there is something wrong, you're not doing everything in .

your power .

to fix IT really he he holds the world and everybody in IT to other alister ally, high expectation. And if you don't live by those expectation or by those and morals and that honor that he thinks you should and he tries to leave himself and he has no respect for you yeah he he just doesn't he doesn't understand .

IT just sounds sort of impossibly idealistic yeah the point where I kind of is sort of strangles how you move through the world are some yeah.

it's really handy capping to him like it's a handy cap. He's constantly struggling to. Understand how people are OK with everything you know I mean, like he doesn't have an understanding of how differently this he is .

the world yeah I think .

he's slowly understanding that not everybody can accept the way he thinks, but that's never going to change .

the way .

he thinks I get IT yeah like his he has the least flexible system ever.

During his late teens, early twenties, boat would work for a while, and I to home, and then take off somewhere for a job or trip, then come back, then go off again. Kim called mom, says both had a hunger and an emergency about him to see the world to gain experience. He wanted adventure.

He loved boats. He loved water. He went off salmon fishing in alaska, and like that too much, he went down south to work at a military training camp, a place where a special forces guys would go for a week and experience the top bow. He'd rather be doing what they were doing than what he was doing.

And you listen to all the stories they have, and they listen to all the places they've been. And then up to the week is up, they disappeared to go off and do do things that you're just going to give a more story and take a more places.

So he left. He went to florida to complete a charter boat course. At some point, he left for france to join the french foreign legion, which kim says he knows he did arrive in france. She's just not completely sure what happened after that. Bolton really talk much about IT.

They probably thought he was out of his mind for going there. And what, you know this, here's this kid blond hair, this Young q kid from idaho with blond hair and blue eyes. I'm enduring the foreign legion.

Hey, set me up. They probably thought he was completely bunkers for doing that, because he was for doing that was just like a really bad choice. And of course, he tells me about, I think, car. Of the reason he did IT was see my face like, because you you didn't .

tell you about IT beforehand and he did and I was like, are you kidding me?

That is a dumb est thing i've ever you know. That was a the beginning of me getting incredulous at his choices. That was the first, no, maybe not the first, the first of many or one of many.

He trained on his bike, nick said. Bow wore a lot of spandex s in those days for a cycling trip down the west coast, which, like the forever legion, didn't pan out a few days in, he got hit by an rv. He was okay, but his bike was ruined.

So he came back to catch him and started in on the next idea. Eventually, the next idea became the military, which wasn't a huge surprise to his friends. His brother in law was in the navy, and both had that strong protector quality, a romantic version.

I had to be sure he wanted to be invisible, keller said, someone who'd be unnoticed in the shadows, looking out for the innocent and sweeping in when they needed him. And they knew both wanted to put himself in situations that would require a courage and grit that would test his metal so that he could come out the other side and know what kind of man he was. So they understood IT, which is not the same as thinking IT was a good idea.

Please don't do that. That's kim.

who IT should be noted. Is a pacifica begin with and he .

knew how I react. Is telly predictable? And i'm asking him, are you sure this is something you want to do? I think it's a horrible, horrible idea um not just for you know not not for everyone, but you know for you for all the .

above reasons is romantic expectations. His rigid could have conduct his judge mentors. He worried he wouldn't be able to just suck IT up, join the crowd.

follow orders. I said, look, I know if you want to do that, not going to listen to me. Of course you're over eighteen, you can do whatever you want.

But if you're guarded that, look into the coast guard because at least then you'll be helping people. You you'll be like saving people's lives, saving vessels, you controlling waters, being on the ocean. Those are all things that you likes, if you must, if you absolutely must, then you know, that's probably a good option. I have. He thought that already.

No, so he did. He joined the coast guard in january of two thousand six. Both went to cape menu jersey and started training. He was nineteen IT lasted only a few weeks.

Coast guard blue camp is a still kind of the traditional blue cap. I mean, they're basically they put as much pressure on you, they possibly can. Then I supposed to swear at you, but they know they can still yellow and scream, and they, they definitely get them you very good. And keeping the pressure on people.

He didn't want to be weak. He didn't want to not be able to anticipate that system to achieve those goals. But his sensitivities and his way of pondering and over thinking things made IT incredible difficult in that environment to survive.

Those are size concerns. You never actually know sixty to anything. I ve just been a failure. And I got to the coast. Characters like listening, you know, seeing what was going on there, as well as the fact that growing up way grow up by myself and then you d i'm your own force. Men and being yellow streamed out.

I didn't take him long to realized he wanted to get out of there. They he'd made a mistake. And in the communications that I had from him at the time, they were becoming increasingly more worries.

I was just in pain for him. You know, i'd read these little notes. You know, the there are only like, that was a little spiral.

No box. You flip about the little half year five, maybe was a four by five, six. Whether they ripped off spirals at the top in this riding, really small in the riding, would change too, you know. And as with stress level increased.

but at the same time as in how important a those garage job is. And seeing that, you know, is not just the people who are out there who lives there defending on me to save their lives, but it's also the, you know, they should make next to me their their lives independently for maybe have to keep their backs safe.

The tongue was changing. IT was more rampling. IT was more desperate.

IT was just rapidly, yeah roding, I think I wrote a couple letters back like, you know, are you? OK, i'm getting really worried. This needs to end. You know what? What can I do?

And so I just I finally got the way. Just break out one night because so much stress.

One day out of the blue, both shows up at trigger the tea bar. He's back. They're all thrilled to see him and also confused, what happened? Where are you back? He told them something about a psychotic charge, which he said he pretty much faked. But kim, the others, they don't really believe them.

According to general goal's investigation, what happened is that on both third week of training, he was found on the floor with blood on his hands and face. IT wasn't serious as a nose bleed, both says. Now he doesn't remember how he ended up on the floor, but that he was told later he was in a feeder position in shaking, crying.

He was taken to the hospital. He told the intake people there. He felt overwhelmed. He spent the next day there where a psychic st. Asset him, and according to doll report, quote, observe that pfc. Burg dolls mental status is significant for situation anxiety and quote, and he recommended discharging him, noting he would need to receive stress management counseling and have called clearance by a psychiatrist prior to reenlistment so bogeys disqualified for continued service in the coast guard because of a diagnosis of adjustment disorder with depression. And IT goes back to, I do home.

I got me washed out, but you, I didn't sit right with me, which is one of the reasons why end up joining army is because I wanted prove myself in the R. T, you know to family and generally you know other sister in mos, all the people like basically I knew when I was in there because I heard things from people that work, we're just from to the family.

They basically thought I was the failure of blacks sheep, the family that, you know, just went listing. And when do the right thing? You know that so and I figured I could do the army because the army was more IT was more my field, the coast guy really wasn't.

Because the good guy mentioned more of like saving, where there is more of the military mission, military mission. And I was older, and I was that I worked to the coast guard. I saw what I was lacking, work on social skills and work on a lot of other things. So, you know, I set out to do that. So when I joined the army, I thought I been a much Better position, and that been in a much Better position.

Because of the way that bow had been, what's called separated from the coast guard, there was a code in his military record indicates he'd needed a waver. If he ever wanted to read, list another words, the army would have to wave its usual standards to let go in. And made two thousand and eight when both signed up, happened to be a good time to get a waver.

Theyd been a surge in iraq. They're be another one coming in afghanistan. The army was hurting for recruits, easing up on restrictions such as criminal records that might have disqualified people in the past.

To give you a sense, in two thousand one, about four percent of army recruits got wavers. By two thousand and seven, IT was twenty percent. Two thousand eight, the year by listed IT was about seventeen percent, because his coastguard discharge was labeled uncharacteristic.

IT seems pretty much, although had to, due to get a waver, was write a paragraph explaining to the bossy recruit why he'd been separated from the coast guard. So he said he had a hard time adapting to change, didn't feel prepared to be on his own, had some family stuff going on, all true. The statement, which was typed up by the recruit as he was speaking with bow, says, quote, I have matured and know that I am prepared to go into the army.

Please do not allow my past record to prevent me from coming into the army and go a week later. But also showed the recruiter his D O D medical history form, but apparently he didn't include any mention of his panic attack or his hospitalization, or the doctors note saying he needed clearance by a psychiatrist prior to realised ment. And both didn't mention this note to the army recruit either.

He says he didn't even know about IT. So evidently that note was never seen by the army. It's not clear, in fact, if anyone ever took notice of IT, apart from the doctor who wrote IT. So spring of two thousand, eight boys accepted into the army. This time, he hadn't told anyone in advance he was .

being very visible. And I just was getting really annoying. And like, all right, what's going on and you're lying, I can tell like to me unless what's going on and this one I am for a couple months.

And then all the sudden he shows up in his uniform. Yeah, I launched, literally launched myself. I'm like and a grab the shoulder and like shaking his shoulder. What are you doing? Did you sign the thing already? A done deal and he's like being really quiet and kind of get a mark smile on his face like I knew you would react like this is why I didn't tell you and I was just out of my mind. I just freak doubt and this .

is because, again, you d you'd had these fears about his suitability before he went the coast guard. Those fears were born out, yes. And now he was doing IT again, yes. And you just knew this is not.

this is a really bad idea. This is just the worst idea ever. And IT was .

the army.

Setting aside the question of whether IT was a good idea for boat to join the army, should the army have let bow in next time on cereal?

Serials produced by Julie snyder, dana chivy me in partnership with mark boll, Megan ellison, hugo lindon justice whether g page one and antenna pictures hour glasses are editorial advisor winning danger field is our digital editor researched by Kevin garnet, fact checking by Michelle Harris, copy editing by oneself oni Emily conn is our line producer. Our music is composed by nick, robyn, fit, mires and mark phillips.

The show is mixed by cable in ski, Christian Taylors are community editor. Other serial staff settled east bergson and kimberley henderson. Special thanks this week to joy palatia kept in a coal eldridge hether hanson and then manian and a big thank you to JoNathan man heva and Robin semon are great colleagues at this american life for helping us so much.

This in last week. Thank you guys. Our website is serial podcast dot work, where this week you can find a chart about army recruits and wavers, which gives a really good picture of the surgeons in the war in afghanistan and iraq.

Again, that serial podcast at org. Stay tuned for a preview of our next episode, which is actually part two of this episode. But first holidays .

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I wanted to be a soldier, but I wanted to be a soldier.

The back is writing these things, notes in details, in all these scripted things. He, in a state of mind, was obviously me. IT was stretched.

They incorrectly interpret, not believe in special powers.

persistent and access of social anxiety. It's something so huge and such a big decision. I feel like you have to be god to make that kind of that's not something you can ever come back from. I don't care where your head was, but you still fucking did IT.

I really does tell the story of a both, unfortunately.

you know.