The Home Alone Curse
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Silent night, holy night. In the woods burns a light where a voice calls sweet and low, calling for the fallen to go. We all fall

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Prices and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal. Valid for item of equal or lesser value. Plus a night before Christmas, when deep in the gloom, not a soul dared to breathe in that cold haunted room. Stockings hung taut like the thread of a snare in wait of the monster that soon would be there.

Then what to my wonderstruck eyes should appear but a shadow-raised sleigh and eight ruby red deer with a withered old driver, so ghastly and grim that I knew in an instant it had to be him.

More swift than the nightmares his coursers they came, He hissed and he shrieked and he called them by name, Now Havoc, now Horror, now Panic and Pain, On Torment, on Terror, on Dread and on Bane. Down the chimney he slithered with Madison's spite, His eyes gleaming evil that cold winter night.

His fur coat was tattered, all covered in frost, like he'd crossed a dark valley where all hope was lost. So I smacked him with a shovel real hard in the back, and the children ran out, and they snatched up his sack. Then we laughed, and we feasted, and we chased him around, and Bad Nick never ever came back to our town.

Cause we gave that old gremlin a terrible fright and I can't speak for him. But we had a great night. Spookstice. Ah, spooksters. Tis the season and in celebration we're going to break format a bit. We're going to travel back to a simpler time. A time before iPods and Cybertrucks. A time when computers did not talk back.

Larry Hankins. He remembers those magical days with a story about how he came this close to landing the role of a lifetime in one of the most iconic Christmas movies of the 1990s. Spoiler alert, Larry does not get the gig. But what happens next? Become a home alone history. So grab a glass of eggnog because here's Larry live from the Crow Comedy Club.

How many people have seen Home Alone? Anybody? Okay. All right. This is about the curse on Home Alone.

So I get a call, first of all this is 1990 when Home Alone was first bought and they started filming in 1990. It came out in 1992. So this is about 1990, 1991. I was looking for rent. That was the whole point. I was looking for rent and trying to learn guitar. Two things.

And in between that, I was trying to audition. So my agent called me and he said, are you available right now? And I go, of course, you know that. You're my agent.

So he said, all right, look, Home Alone just called. They started a new production. It's John Hughes' next movie. It's going to be a Christmas thing. It's going to be big. It's got Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern and a kid called Macaulay Culkin. And

Daniel, they've been filming for three days now. And Daniel Stern has now stopped production because he wants more money. The producers don't want to pay him more money. He's going to quit if he doesn't get more money. And the producers say,

if he keeps on demanding more money, we're going to fire him and we need somebody to replace him and we're thinking about you. And I think, whoa, are you kidding? John Hughes movie, Home Alone? I mean, everybody knew then it was going to be a really cool movie. So I go, wow, that's amazing. He says, okay, they're in a negotiation right now. They're going to end it in about a half hour. I'll call you back. Pack your bag.

put it by the door, you have to leave tonight. If Daniel Stern doesn't want to work for the money he's getting, they're going to fire him and they want you, you're going to have to start reshooting the new film because they've already shot three days tomorrow morning. You've got to catch a flight tonight, fly to Chicago and...

and start filming. It's just establishing shots enough to memorize any lines. I'm going, wow. She says, okay, I'll call you back in half an hour. Pack your bags, put it by the door, and hold tight. Okay, click. And I'm thinking, wow, I'm going to be co-starring with Joe Pesci in 1990, and I need my rent. This is incredible, man.

This is incredible. Okay, so a half hour goes by. I'm sitting by the phone. I'm tensed. I'm jacked up. I'm really cool. And he goes, okay, we just got it in. Daniel Stern caved. It's off. Never mind. There's other jobs. Click. I was really pissed. I mean, I was madder than I've ever been, man, because they jerked me around.

The producers jerked me around and I didn't like it. So I dealt with it as best I could. I dealt with it. And then I got on with my life, which was trying to learn the guitar, audition, learn the guitar, audition. Okay, cool, rent. Okay, but I got on with my life and you just go on, you forget it. Somebody mentioned that before, you just get on with your life, you go on. And about two weeks later, I get a call from my agent again. He said, are you still available? Come on, man.

And he goes, why? Because Home Alone just called. They want you in the movie. They need you in the movie. You've got to be in the movie. And I go, what? What's going on? He said, the movie is cursed. This is a true story. They called me and they said, the movie is cursed. I said, is that your word or their word?

No, that's their word. And the reason they say it's cursed is because of the way they jerked you around. You know, they fucked you around. Whatever it was in the negotiations with Daniel Stern, and they feel guilty about it, and they

feel that, that's the reason the movie is cursed because it's already shot three days and nothing's happening. It's not going right. So they figured the only way is get Hankin back in, get him in the movie anywhere just to appease the curse and get it off the movie. And I go, that is the weirdest. Okay, I mean...

All right, so you do it. Well, what do they want me to do? What's the character? I don't get it. No, it's not Daniel Stern again. No, it's just to get the curse off. So, okay, what do they want me to do? And they said, well, that's the... Okay, here's the thing. It's just, it's three lines. No, I'm not doing it. Three lines? Are you kidding? It's a cop talking to a mom about getting her son or checking on her son. No, I'm not going to do it. Three lines.

Two weeks ago, I was co-starring with Joe Pesci. And now they're offering me three lines? No, I'm not going to do it. No. No.

them, man. So he says, no, listen, Larry, just calm down, man. Now look, they'll fly you there first class, LA to Chicago. They'll pick you up in a limo. They'll fly you first class, limo at the other airport, get you to the set. They'll have the set all set up for you. This is a half a day's work, Larry. Just go in. It's

Three lines, get out of the limo, the set will be all set up, the camera and the lights and everything, you go in, get into a cop uniform, do one take, back in a limo, fly a first class limo, you will sleep in your own bed the same day. No, man, three lines? Are you kidding? Larry, listen to me, they will pay you $10,000 to do just what I said. Oh, okay, fine, let's do it. Yeah! Woo!

Okay, wow, what's the problem?

Bye.

Prices and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or common meal. Valid for item of equal or lesser value. Yeah, so, and sure enough, the next morning, sure enough, I look down, I'm in an apartment house, I look down, there's a limo, a white stretch limo downstairs waiting for me. I go down, I don't even have to pack.

Because I'm going to sleep in my own bed. That's what they said the same night. Don't have to pack. I'm just going half a day's work. That's it. So I go down. I jump in a limo to the airport. First class. Don't have to wait or anything.

Snick around. First class limos there, Mr. Hankin, limo, chauffeur, everything to the set. They pull me up. There's an A.D. waiting at the curb. I get out. They pull me in. Now, right before I left, I got a phone call from one of the producers saying,

of Home Alone to verify that I'm going to show up and do it. And so I go, are you kidding? Of course I'm going to do it. Okay, so he says, Larry, you just want to verify and everything's going to be okay. We'll see you there tomorrow, right? Yeah. Okay, what do you want?

I go, what do you mean, what do I want? I don't deal with that. No, no, no, because we understand it's just three lines. We understand it's a very small part. We just want you in the movie because of the curse. So just anything. So if you... No, he said, okay, you said it, right? He goes, yes, there's a curse on the movie. And we believe that it's because we...

you know, diss you and not asking your permission to use your name in a negotiation, blah, blah, blah. And that's why the movie is cursed. We've got to get you in. Anyway, three lines. Okay. And I can have anything? Well, okay, you can rewrite the three lines as long as it fits into the scene. Or you can have any prop you want, whatever you want. We understand you're doing us a favor. I go, okay, well, it's a cop, right?

Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, I want to be eating a donut while I say your lines. That's it? Yeah, that's it. I want to be eating a donut. A glazed donut. I want a glazed donut.

Okay, see you here tomorrow. Right, okay. And then I go downstairs, right? Limo, plane there. And I get out and they take me to the producers and there's a set. It's a sound stage. They got the police station, the chair and the phone. Everything's there. They got the camera, the lights, everything is all set. And the producers say, you know, okay, just changing your costume, getting the costume, sit down, one take, back in the limo. You sleep in your own bed tonight. Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute.

"Where's my glazed donut?" "Larry, just go change into the cop uniform. We'll have the glazed donut when you get back." Okay, so I'm really stoked about this glazed donut. I mean, you think, wow. Okay, so I go in, I change the cop uniform, I come back,

And standing waiting for it right next to the camera. As you know, these are baker's rolling trays with the trays, you know, and you can roll it around with the bread on it and everything. Okay, next to the camera is a baker's rolling tray with 20 trays, 20 shelves. And on each shelf is 30 glazed donuts. 600 glazed donuts. And I just say, I just asked for one glazed donut. And I'm thinking, I'm not paying for these.

They're punking me. I really did think that. I just don't understand what's going on with the whole thing with the curse. But I do notice that there's something weird going on. I mean, that's when I showed up. Even the crew is like, you know, okay, give me a donut. Oh, that one. Yeah, give me that one.

Okay, and all right, so, and Chris Columbus is directing, which is another perk. I mean, Chris Columbus is really cool. Okay, so, Larry, get in the chair. You got the phone, you got the donut. I'm going to be eating it. Okay, and take one, Larry, action. Okay, and, well, hello, police department, blah, blah, blah. You want me to check on your son in the cut? Okay.

Is that me? What happened? What was that? No, no, no. Camera went off the dolly. All right. Back to one. Take two, Larry. All right. Give me another donut. I just ate the whole thing. Just give me a new one. All right. No, no, no, no. Get away. Get away. Fucking crew, man.

Okay, and take two, and action, Larry. Okay, so blah, blah, blah, police department, blah, blah, blah. You want me to go to your home and check on your son. Cut!

Okay, now what happened? Camera jiggle. Let's go back to one. All right, take two. All right, give me another donut. No, I just ate the whole thing while I was waiting to reset the camera. I just ate it. All right, just give me another one. All right, take three. And you ready? Okay, Larry with the donut. Okay, fine. And action. Larry, and you want me to go to check on your...

The light, it's very hot in there. There's a sound state. It's really hot. And one of the lights above exploded and rained down glass, that shattered glass, all over the set on me. It's just one shot. It's just a tracking shot. It's just one person in it. So it's just on me. Okay, so the 20-minute break. While they clean up the set, they clean me off, they get the nurse to check. I'm not cut. I'm not going to sue. Don't worry. Okay. Jesus. Okay.

All right, Larry, give me another fucking donut. No, give me that one. Yeah, okay.

Okay, and this is, I don't know what, take four and take five, take six, take seven, take eight, take nine. We haven't gotten through one good take. Something always happens, and it's not me. It's not me. It's something technical each time, nine times. And now I'm starting to think, holy crap, it is Curtis.

And you can even see the crew is going, "Alright, it's a fucking curse." And I look over at the producers and they're white, man.

They are depressed. It's really weird. And everybody except Chris Columbus. He's like, cool. He's like, you know, in the old days, it was a Joe Palooka doll. You know, you hit it, it just goes right back up. You know, doink, doink. So, yeah, he just knocked, you knock him down. Okay, come on, take 10. Let's go, everybody. Take 10, Larry, get a donut. And I'm saying, wait a minute. The donuts are starting to disappear from the bottom shelf.

The crew is eating the donuts. And I'm going, hey, man, we may have to do 590. So, okay. All right, fine. So finally, take 10. All right, give me another donut. And take 10. Action, Larry. Okay, and you want me to go check on your son? Yeah. Okay, Rose, hyper on two. Cut. And everybody laughs.

Now, for the nine takes, when it didn't go all the way through to the end, nobody laughed because you don't laugh at crew's fuck-ups, you don't. Or any technical laugh. But if an actor fucks up, laugh. They all laugh. Oh, oh, oh, and they captured it on tape.

So Chris Columbus says, print that one, Larry, you're released. Okay, get him in a limo. You can change your car. Get out of your costume. You're released, Larry. And I go, what just happened? No, if I fucked up, I want to do it again. I don't want that. I don't want you to print a fuck-up of mine. No, no, Larry, that's good. We're good. You're released. I go, no, I want to do it again.

No, Larry, you don't have to do it again. We got it. And he says, come to the TV village and we will play it for you. So I said, I don't want to watch it because I'll just do what I made the mistake. Because if I see it, I'll do it again. So I go and I watch it and they play it. And OK. And as far as I can see, as they play it, it's what I'm doing is exactly the same for all 10 takes. There's nothing different. I'm not fucking up.

But then I start to notice something, that there's a crumb from the doughnut and it's caught on the mouthpiece of the phone. Now all the other crumbs, because there's crumbs, you know, when you're eating a doughnut, and all the nine takes, they all fall to the ground or the floor. And even in this take, except there's one big crumb, it's not only hanging, not like this, on the top of the mouthpiece, but it's over here.

And it's not moving. And then very slowly, it starts to very slowly start to... But it doesn't drop. It's just slowly rolling. And then finally, and I don't know, I'm just talking and talking. And right near the end of the scene, it drops. And then the scene ends. ♪

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Prices and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal. Valid for item of equal or lesser value. And they say, we're going to print that. Why? That's fucked up. I don't have to use a donut. I don't have to use... No, no, no. That's going in the movie, Larry. That's a money shot. And I go, what do you call a money shot? What is that to you?

He said, it means it's going in the movie. It's gold. It's funny, Larry. And I go, okay. He said, get out of here. Okay, get him out of here. Get him in a limo. Get him home. He's got to sleep in his own bed tonight. Okay, get him out of here. So I go in and I change my clothes. I come back and what I do is I don't go to the limo. I go over to the baker's tray because I want to see what's going on. Why did that stick and no other crumb did?

And I go over and it was so hot, I looked at all the donuts that are left, the glaze had started to melt. So it was tacky, it was thick, and that crumb obviously came from the top of the donut, so it was the glaze that was holding that thing there. Because people would come up to me on the street and say, hey, you know, you were in Home Alone, right? Yeah. How did they do with the donut thing? How did they do that?

So I don't know if there's any actors in the room, but here's a great lesson in how to steal a scene. Okay, in the middle of the scene, slowly start to die. Very slowly. No matter where you are in the scene or what you're doing, start to slowly die. And then right near the end of the scene, suddenly drop it.

Okay, so that's just how to steal a seat. Okay, but that has nothing to do with anything. Okay, so now I get into the limo and they take me to the airport and first class, limo, and not only do I get to sleep in my own bed the same night, but I fly first class. I have the limo,

I get $10,000 for a half a day's work. I can pay my rent. Yeah, okay. And then about a year later, Home Alone comes out and it's a big hit. Now, the reason that it's a big hit and the moral of this story is that because the producers treated me so nice...

And they paid me so much money for half a day's work that I removed my curse from the movie. Thank you, Larry Hankin, for sharing your story. Now, from Escape to Alcatraz to France to Seinfeld to Breaking Bad, Larry has left an indelible mark on your TV screens over the last five decades. Yes, Larry has a book. It's entitled That Guy, A Cautionary Memoir.

The engineering for that piece was done by Miles Lassie. We've got special thanks as well to Sam Shaw for sharing Larry's story with us. Sam is working on a documentary about Larry's improvisational theater company. It's called The Committee. Information at thecommitteemovie.com. And last but not least, a special shout out to the Crow Comedy Club in Santa Monica for hosting Larry during one of their unforgettable storytelling nights. crowcomedy.com

Jingle bells, spooksters. There are many ways that people celebrate the darkest days of winter, and we here, we hope that however you do it, that you are filled with good cheer. We appreciate you, Spook Nation, for walking this dark road. We love that you love what we love. And yes, if you have a story the world needs to hear, we'd love to hear it.

Please let me know. Spook at stampjudgment.org. Spook is brought to us by the team that has managed to avoid dark curses except for Mark Ristich. From the moment he was born, the town folk demanded he sleep outside the city limits. There's David Kim, Zoe Ferrigno.

Eric Yanez, Taylor Ducat, Marissa Dodge, Miles Lassie, Doug Stewart, Elliot Lightfoot, Paulina Kriki, Juan Diego Beltran, Sasha Wilson, and Dan Yasinski. The spook theme song is by Pat Massini-Miller, My Name's Gunn Washington. And three millennia passed. Every year, near the end of December, the people they would celebrate by lighting candles and lamps as symbols of hope

by exchanging gifts, feasting with family and friends, by asking their God to bless them if they had been good little boys and girls in honor of the season of their Lord, the God Saturn, the celebration of Saturnalia, marking Saturn's race to the winter sky and the peace on Earth and goodwill toward men that occurred during Saturn's mythic reign. We live in a time of echoes. We walk

through a land of ghosts. This path has been tried before and nothing is ever truly gone. The universe does not forget. What kind of echoes do you wish to leave? I think about this often. What ripple I might leave behind in three millennia. I don't know. So the best I can do is to turn toward that star streaking across that sky and vow to never ever, ever leave.

Ever, never, ever, ever, never, ever the last.

Bye.

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