Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the bas- Welcome back to the basement yard. You were gonna start singing at the beginning of the fucking episode. I was gonna sing, but then you shushed me like a fucking bitch. Cause I was trying to start the fucking episode. I don't like that. I don't like being shushed. It's been a long fucking day! I get very triggered when I get shushed! Really? I don't like it. Do you? Shh. Joey, I'm not even kidding. I don't like that. Really? This is not a bit for the show. What if I put my finger on your lips and I said shush? I swear to God, on my mom, I would end up hitting you. Shush or shush? Shush.
Or like shush is more like, what about you? Oh, you don't like it. That is so like, it's like, it's like you can tell the person do it at once. At least like just let a fucking racial slur, like just fly. Jesus. I don't know about that. Yeah. That sounds like it. I'm a, you know, I, I, I get the show. No, but like you'll get the shush. But if someone shushes you, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Is when it's like a like like if we're watching movie like I like I echo the shush to make it like everyone know like it's not like a serious I usually just go come on. I'm serious guys Dude, have you ever yelled at someone in a movie theater? Welcome back to basement yarn, by the way. Oh, yeah, you've yelled at someone in a movie theater Yeah, well first of all when's the last time you were in a movie theater 87? No, I don't know. Uh, I don't know one of the Avengers movies, right? Probably endgame damn. That's four years ago. Oh
Yeah, also five five years ago. I know you like going to the movie theater. I do I like it No, like when when like those movies are and everyone like cheers and stuff. I don't really like that. Fuck you It's such a fun like camaraderie moment, dude. I don't even I don't like when people are like, oh, I love that dude I've said this before and i'll say it again. Like those are the best Memories like some of the best memories I have like watching movies
That's not sad. That's not sad. Dude, the first time I saw Endgame, the opening night with a live audience, you would have thought fucking Taylor Swift walkout. That place erupted, and it made me shed a tear. I'm man enough to admit that. You're such a man. We're all very proud of you. You ever dress up to go to a Harry Potter movie? No. Like you think you're Hermione or something? I don't think I've—oh, that's not true. No, I've never done that. You've dressed up to a movie? No.
No. Well, I mean, I guess technically. What's technically? Like, I've worn, like, to, like, a Spider-Man movie, I've worn a Spider-Man shirt. When Miles and I went to go see... Fuck you! When Miles and I went to go see the Super Mario Brothers movie last year, I bought him and I Bowser and Bowser Jr. shirts. There's a child involved. Okay, that's fine. It's okay. It's all right. But, like, I've gone to see Doctor Strange in a Doctor Strange shirt, Black Panther in a Black Panther shirt. Ha ha!
You know? That's pretty brutal. Why? Why is that bad? I don't know. What's wrong with that? I don't know. Oh, what? What movies are you going to see, huh? You're wearing your fucking, your Jordan 1s to go see air? You're going to see a fucking movie about pretentious Brooklyn people that sell fucking t-shirts out of a truck and they make a million dollars an hour? That what you're going to see? What's that movie called? I don't know. Brooklyn. Dumbo.
I hate it. Yeah, yeah. I hate it. Could have been a better title, I think, out of that joke. Oh, Dumbo. Yeah, sorry. But shout out to Dumbo being racist.
The place or the movie? The movie. Yeah, the movie definitely is. Mad racist. It's not good. Go back. Watch it. Go watch it, and you'll see. What are the crows? The crows are not very... The crows sing a song about racism, and then there's a song about the dudes who work on the railway. The tracks, yeah. And that song is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some stuff if you look at some of those old Disney movies. You think it's just a cute fucking movie about a...
Like, why couldn't it be? Why couldn't it just be like a big dumbass elephant with like cute ears? Can I say something about Dumbo, by the way? The elephant's ears weren't even all that big. I mean, I feel like the rest of them also had big fucking ears. I think just the thing is that it can make them fly, you know? That's dope. That's cool, but like, I don't care. Like, the original Dumbo movie is not very good. It's sad though, bro. It's like an hour, first of all, it's like an hour long. And it's just like, it's alright. Elephant gets fucked up and does LSD. Yeah.
I think he gets drunk or some shit. And the pink elephants. Pink elephants on parade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were doing all that shit. Bro, you remember the original Pinocchio? I don't say I don't. Bro, the original Pinocchio was like, they go to Pleasure Island or whatever the fuck it is with the kids. It's not called Pleasure Island. It might be called Pleasure Island. But they go to Pleasure Island and the kids are smoking cigars and drinking beer. I do remember that. And the kid turns into a donkey. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's some shit, dude.
What does that even mean? It's like a, you know, symbolism for like, you know, be a good kid. They would scare kids into being bad kids by saying they'll turn into donkeys and shit. I actually... Now that I remember... Just gotta be honest with you, not the worst animal I could turn into. A donkey? Pretty cool. Kick mad hard, dude. Definitely. Who kicks harder, you or a donkey? A donkey. Exactly. I don't kick all that hard. I would definitely want to be a donkey. But then people ride you up mountains. That's annoying. I mean, you get rode all the time. What's the issue? You know...
That could mean a couple things. That could mean a couple things, yeah. I never understood why when people are using donkeys to travel, they put the pots and pans on the sides. On the sides, man. This is fucking noisy as fuck. You're being too much. It's too noisy. You're being too much. Just get to where you got to get to quietly. That's what I'm saying. Get through the night. No one needs all these fucking clang, clang, bing, bang. Yeah.
Too much. And who needs a pan? I see a guy on TikTok. He's making fucking meals on rocks that he finds in a river. Dude, I love. I love those fucking videos. Where he has that giant knife. And it's so sharp. Dude. And he's like, he like throws the fucking onion up and he's like, bang. And he just cuts it in half. This fucking thing could cut my head off. I want to cook on a rock so bad. So bad. And this guy is just like fucking. Also, not, you know, very sanitary, but like whatever. Give us a fuck, dude. I don't know.
No, not really. All the fire kills all the bacteria or whatever, something like that. Yeah, but also rocks. I'll eat off a rock. There's a guy who, I saw one guy who made a pizza and he just threw it in the hot coals, like in the ash and everything. That's weird. And he was just like, it just gives it a woodsy taste. And it's like, yeah, because you're eating wood. I would rather not eat wood. I'm
I'd rather just eat a pizza. I don't want to eat wood at all. Yeah, I love those fucking videos though. There's one guy that has like his dog with him. Yes, and he like just sits in the background and then he gives him like a piece of food. And he usually makes the sluttiest steak that has like some butter. Like he makes a butter.
I don't know. I saw one where he literally boiled a steak in butter, and I was like, I can't. I can't support this. You know what I love, bro? I love this. Because in those videos, what he does is he makes bread, and he puts it in this cast iron skillet, and then he puts another one on top. And he closes it? And he puts it in the fire, and then he puts some of the coals on top of it. Dude, I've had cast iron bread before. Amazing. It just tastes better because it's like...
Cooked in cast iron That's what I'm saying You know There's nothing special about it I could watch motherfuckers Make bread all day and night To be honest Dude I've said this before Making little cuts in the bread I've said this before My buddy in Jersey Is uh He makes bread in his house And he just brings us Fresh bread all the time Ah fuck Dude he brought A sourdough loaf the other day That was cheddar jalapeno Oh I would I swear on my life I would put my fucking Balls in it if I could I would It's so good He brought us fresh cinnamon rolls With homemade icing
Yes, dude. Who is this man? This guy, Social Bread Co. Check it out. This guy's fucking, he's good, dude. That sounds fucking great. Dude, a big, just fat, fat loaves of bread. And like, big bitches. What's better than a hot loaf of bread? Dude, it is such a luxury. Fresh bread is such a fucking luxury. It's so weird to say it. Fat bread. But all those videos, you know what I want to do? When I see the videos of people making fresh focaccia and they're fucking...
And it's like a fat butt. It's like a fat butt. And they're like playing with it like they're sticking their fingers in a butt. Yeah, dude. Oh my fucking God. I can't tell you how. And also the amount of fucking olive oil they use. And it's like. And they just put like green cherry tomatoes on top and then just like fucking rosemary and they're just like.
When there's rosemary involved in cooking, I'm like, I'm going to fucking combust. 100%. 100%. Like, it's so fucking good. I can't tell you how many times I've seen those, like, focaccia videos, and then I go and I, like, play with Becca's butt like that because the eating just looks so fun. I know. Ugh.
Focaccia bread, dude. Bread. Also like big flakes of fucking salt, dude. I love that. I have some pretty flaky salt in the house. As a little finish. As a little bing bang bang goes. That's what I'm saying. Oh, it's so good. Every now and then I just go take a pinch. I eat it. Yeah. Really? I like salt.
That's not the worst thing in the world. No. I mean, unless you don't drink enough water, it is. But like salt? Oh. Yeah. I mean, you're not taking a fucking teaspoon of salt. Well, you take a couple pinches a day. It might add up, you know? Yeah. But also, isn't it an electrolyte salt? It helps you retain water. Yeah, it's an electrolyte salt. Yeah, it's good for you. Yeah, we're okay. Yeah. Daddy's all right. How many salt pinches are you doing a day? A couple. A couple?
You're walking over and you're salting? A little bit, maybe. Yeah? Might be a stupid question, but if you use that salt on the snow, is it going to melt it or not? That's a really good question because I don't think ice salt is regular salt. Iodized?
You're asking a lot of questions here, Joey. It's stupid for me to ask a lot of questions. Stupid word to put. I try to use either kosher salt for the Jews. Yeah, exactly. Just in case anyone comes over. And they might be. And they might. And they might. And we welcome them. Right. And sea salt in case any mermaids come over. Any fish come over. You want them to feel at home. You want to hit both classifications, the Jews and the mermaids. And the fish. Yeah.
That's the spectrum of people that walk into Frankie's house. You got Jews over here. We got fish over here.
That's nice. I usually just use, I have salt, but I don't know what kind it is. I think it just says table salt. Oh, that's, yeah, you probably shouldn't. I mean, I used to have fancy salt. Just get, just, you can just get like sea salt. No, I know. I think I have that, but I did buy because I was super into salt. It's weird to say. What a weird, what? You don't know eggs. You're into salt. I don't know eggs. I still like quiz me.
On eggs. Go. Okay. How do you... No, just say what it looks like because that's all I know. Oh. Name an egg. Eggs, dude. No, no, no. Name an egg. What's the biggest size of eggs you could buy? Frankie, how far... Are you fucking kidding me? Name an egg. How it's cooked, you dumbass. Oh, okay. I don't know how to answer this. Frankie. Sunny side up. Medium. These things. Okay. All right. Over easy. Jeez. Okay. This is what I think.
You crack the egg and you cook one side and then you flip it and you let it sit there for like a little bit and then that's it? Yeah. That's it? You know what's funny is I told you that. No, I know. Last time we talked about it. I'm getting a quiz. I'm trying to remember. I'm trying to retain the knowledge here. I'm trying to do the knowledge. All right. There's a thing in like France where people that go to culinary school, they have a thing. It's like a thousand ways to cook an egg. Way too many, bro. Like literally four you get. That's it. You get four? Yeah. What are the four? Over easy. Scrambled.
What's a deviled egg? It's a hard-boiled egg with the devil in it. Which is mayo? Yeah. And there's red in it, no? I don't know why they call them deviled egg. I'm sure there's a reason. Don't fucking history people. So it's a hard-boiled egg. You cut it in half. You scoop out the yolks. And you do yolk, mayo, salt, however you want it. And then you pipette. Oh, and like a pipette. Oh, then you shove her back in. Stop that. That was a little too sexual there. No. On the cut egg, you like...
Make a little dollop. Oh, so you take the yogurt and you just mix it with other shit and you put it back in? Yes. Dude, Becca's deviled eggs. This is not a joke. She made them one day. She made like five eggs, so ten deviled eggs. I ate the whole thing.
That's way too many The whole thing I couldn't stop They're so fucking good She puts fresh dill in them And paprika She's trying to get me pregnant There's some That's not how that works But there's some Like Red in it It's probably paprika Paprika Have you ever done the thing I just saw this on TikTok And I was like bro I see everything on TikTok now Jesus Christ Joey big TikTok guy How you doing TikTok Uh
I've seen it where it's like you break off like when you have a hard-boiled egg you break off the top and then the bottom and then you blow into it and the whole shell comes off. I've tried that and it doesn't work. I was like really going at it one day and it just was not working. I do remember when I was dared to crack an egg in my hand. Do you remember that? Crack an egg in your hand? Yes. Someone once dared me to crack. They were like you can't hold an egg in your hand and break it. Is that true? Yeah.
That's what they said. I think they were confusing it because the idea is you can't hold an egg the long ways and crack it because the way it's engineered through nature, it can support you standing on it or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's perfectly vertical. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But the person said, oh, if you hold it in your hand and just fucking bang it,
That's probably not hard. I could break that. Yeah. The first time I did it, I was like, oh shit, wait a second. And the second time I did it, the whole egg shot out of my hand and went all into their face. Yeah, it was fire. You yoked someone? I was fucking yoking. Was it a woman? Shot him in the eyes. Yes, it was. Wow, she got yoked. Psh.
Fire. Weird with context, but yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I know, but whatever. What were we talking about? I don't even remember. I honestly don't even remember where we started. I don't know, but you started talking about French and culinary school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would be a better, like, I already am a better cook than you, but like if we were to go to culinary school, I would be way better than you, dude. My knife skills? What do you got? You got shit.
First of all, I'm a fast learner. You think I want to be nice with a knife? Be very good with a knife. If I were to say like, there's like different types of cutting too. There's like Julianne. Who? Julianne? Yeah. There's like different ways of cutting things. You think you're so cool, don't you? I do a little bit. You think you're so cool? A little bit. I do one thing better than you.
Finally! Two things! You don't even- We don't even know that to be true. We know it, Joey. We probably do. We do. You know what I saw on TikTok the other day? Since we're talking about food! A guy, he didn't dice it, but he like made these cuts in a piece of chicken where it looked diced, but it was still together. Are you following? Yeah, I know what you're talking about, yeah. And then he fucking put like chains in it. Yeah, stuffed it.
Yeah, you're gonna kill me. Yeah, you're gonna just murder me dude. I'm talk good stuff chicken. Oh Daddy's here and I love that just like put like something like a I've never done like a stuffed like salmon or something like that You're not a big salmon guy, right?
I do. I don't know. I like salmon. I like salmon. I eat salmon. But there was one time that I had salmon. I was like, this is fucking ass. And I shouldn't have eaten salmon that day because it was not the right place to have it. Was it a gas station? It was a hotel. Bad. Very bad. It was a bad hotel, too. It was just like a hotel near an airport. Oh, boy. So I don't know why that's where I was like, yeah, I'm gonna have some fucking salmon here. Let me have this salmon. And you're ordering from like... We were miles away from water, by the way.
So I don't know who made this salmon or if it was 3D printed. But yeah, so that got me off of salmon for a while. But I'm back on salmon.
He's back. Do a stuffed salmon? I've never had a stuffed salmon, but anything is stuffed that's good. Stuffed crust. Oop me up. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. By the way, Happy New Year. This is coming out. Oh, yeah. Happy News. This is coming out on New Year's Day for those that celebrate the Mayan New Year, I think this is, right? Is it? I believe. We always go by, like, the Mayan calendar, isn't it?
Remember we were supposed to die like 12 years ago? I do remember that. Or 11 years ago, whatever it was. What year is it being? 2024. Well, this is coming out on 2024. So happy New Year's to you, Joe. Happy New Year to you. Any New Year's resolutions you got going into the new year? Hmm.
I don't know. I don't know why I said that like fucking- I have something for you. Oh. I have something for you. Go ahead. Commit to the mustache or just drop it. No. I've really enjoyed this like, you know, kind of like 5 o'clock shadow, half and half. But you can't have the best of both worlds. Commit or get away. I don't think it's the best of both worlds. This is the best of both worlds. Go it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show. It's the best of both worlds. I don't know the rest of it, but what song is that? Was that Hannah Montana? Yeah.
I'm killing it. Yeah, you did. Never watched an episode of that show. Oh, I used to watch it back in the day. Never watched an episode of that, of Cody and Sweet and Cody? Sure, sure. Zach and Cody. Sure. What's the full name of the show? The Sweet Life of Zach and Cody. Okay, good. Um...
Victorious Nope Never watched that one Yeah What's the one that everyone likes? Something with a Declassified No That's not it Ned's Declassified Yeah never watched that I watched that a little bit There's another one Carly I Carly Yeah yeah yeah Never watched an episode of that Bro Ned's Declassified People are like Chatting about that show
Disney like started a podcast and one of them was like, "Yeah, I was sucking cock on the set." I was like, "Damn, bro!" Bro. That's fire though. That's how you do a Disney podcast. First of all, Nickelodeon. Second of all. Whatever. Second of all. Yeah, bro. These like Disney-Nickelodeon shows from when we were like pre-teens and shit. Let it fly now. Are just coming out now. They're just like, "Oh yeah, I was just fucking getting my back blown out." And honestly, Fire. Good for them. 'Cause that's true. Because honestly,
That's what we think is happening. Right. That's what everyone is like watching it. And they're just like, oh shit, like maybe so-and-so is getting their fucking back blown out. There was one where I think there's one girl. It might've been that show. I know exactly what you're talking about. The Declassified show. Yeah. And she was like, yeah, I fucking like ran through the cat. Basically said she like ran through the cat. I was like, yo, I want to dap this girl up so bad and be like, yo, good for you for getting that Declassified dick.
Bro. And you know what's even funnier is like she does it with like her co-stars and she was like, and one, the guy that she was dating, she was like, you remember the first time I sucked your dick? And he's just like, all right, I guess we're going to talk about that. Yeah. He was the one who got sucked upon. He's on the podcast. And it's wild. Absolutely wild. Good for her. Honestly, people are like, people are like,
People are like pissed at them. They're like, oh, she just wants to stay relevant and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, or this girl just wants to talk about her fucking like experience. Oh, fuck that. That's a fucking surefire way to stay relevant. I want to hear about all that shit. Because let's be honest. Bro, imagine being 15 years old on a TV show that's being aired across the world. Yeah. And you're just being given money and you're just hanging out with people.
that are like-minded. Your age. Dude, you're going to tell me. Of course you're going to spit in each other's butts. What do you think is going to happen? What do you think? I'm not going to open up and, you know, open you up? I don't know why I said open up. And there's a, like, fucking Christy Carlson Romano has a podcast. She does. And she's, like, talking about shit. I don't think she talks about wild stuff like that. Yeah, I don't think like that either. But, like, this girl, good for her. For the Nets declassified. I like that. Also, I want to get a podcast. I want to find out what's going on in Boy Meets World. You're going to tell me Corey never hit that Topanga dude.
Listen, if Topanga comes out and she's just like, oh, by the way, me and fucking Mr. Feeney had a thing, I'd be so pumped. I'd be so pumped. And also, I would go out on Twitter or wherever this happens, and for the people who are like, oh my God, Topanga, you're resorting to this to stay relevant, I'd be like, this is awesome. Fuck you. Every... You know who was the only people saying that? The people that didn't grow up watching those shows. Not that I was like a big fucking iCarly, Nancy Classified fan, but like...
Ultimately, there's some stuff on the Nickelodeon shows. Dan Snyder, there's some stuff. Yeah, the Dan Snyder guy was like, yeah, would you pull your toes out in five seconds? There's some stuff. Chill out, Dan. There's some stuff. He put overt cum shots in some of these shows. Dude's a sick, fat bastard. Go look it up. He's a sick, fat fuck. Just go look it up.
Listen, man. Dude, if I found out Topanga was sleeping with Mr. Feeny, I would fly to wherever that old bastard is and dap him up so hard. Is he alive? I think so. I don't have my phone on me. You'd have to tell me. I'll tell you this right now. In that episode of fucking Boy Meets World where he was like,
Class dismissed. And he shuts the lights. I was like, fuck, dude. This shit fucked me up, dude. That shit hurt so bad. Dude, those Nickelodeon TV, like Nickelodeon Disney Channel shows were like, that was like our soaps. Like, I'd be like, yo, I gotta get home because the lineup today, ma, is fucking even Stevens, a Lizzie McGuire, fucking Phil of the future. Like, I need to watch my programs, ma. My programs, exactly. Dude, and then that little bastard Beans.
It's a weird looking guy. Weird looking dude. He's probably cleaning up. I'm not gonna lie. It's Beans. Do you think Beans is cleaning up? He has to. No way, dude. I mean, it's Hollywood. People are cleaning up. I mean, you know what, Beans?
All the power to you, babe. I hope you are. I don't think Beans is watching here. Maybe Beans is. Maybe Neds are watching. That's declassified. Maybe they're watching. What is that podcast called? It's like... I don't know. I assume the name of the show is in it. Declassifying the classified files of Ned. There's been better jokes. That was the worst joke I could have done. We were writing so high. Just put me in the ground. You really know how to fucking kill it. Sometimes people bomb. It's okay.
That's horrible, dude. So yeah, happy New Year's. Resolution, commit to the mustache. That's how we started this? Commit to the mustache. Yeah. I do love the scruffy gray mixture you got going on. Gray? Yeah, like the salt and pepper. Oh, yeah. Well, that I can't do anything about. I mean, you could. I'm not gonna. Very smart. I think if you went just like salt and pepper, just mustache, goddamn, move over, Tom Selleck. There's a new fucking big sheriff in town. Tom Selleck? Yeah, dude.
What? He's the big sheriff, no? Is he? I don't know. Why'd you say Tom Selleck? Blue bloods and mustache. All right. Anyway, we have ads for today. The first one being Rocket Money. Ladies and gentlemen, Rocket Money. We love Rocket Money. It's an all-in-one personal finance app that has saved me a ton of money. And it's not just exclusive to me, all right? But I'm going to get into why it saves me money. But what Rocket Money does is they cancel on what subscriptions and they help you identify them, which is
It can help you budget as well. And it can help you lower your bills. But I am a person who sometimes I sign up for free trials. I have a trigger finger when it comes to those types of things. So I sign up for free trials and then I forget that I signed up for them. So then...
I end up paying for them, you know, months down the line. And Rocket Money is helping me find those things and cancel them. I was paying for like Business Insider or something for months. And I was like, I've never even read one article from this. I should probably cancel this. But it's not just me. On average, people are saving $720 a year with Rocket Money.
So go save your money, folks. Go to Rocket Money. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash basement. That is rocketmoney.com slash basement, which by the way, they've saved over $500 million.
They've 500 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions So chances are you're out there being a little irresponsible with your money and rocket money is gonna help you do that Not only cancel it, but it's gonna make you more financially responsible with the budgeting and out lowering the bills So go put money back in your pocket with rocket money rocket money comm slash basement to try it today again That is rocket money comm slash basement put the money back in your pocket folks. All right and we also have Zoc Doc Zoc Doc
Is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you And instantly book appointments with them online and this is very helpful because if you're anything like me What my personal experience was like my mom would just bring me to the doctor all the time And then one day she's like you're an adult figure it out and I was like, I don't even know step one I don't know what to do But zocdoc is a cool platform You can download their app or go to their website And like I just said you can go onto their website and you type in your insurance
And, you know, where you are, it has your current location. And then it will bring up, you know, doctors in your area. You also put in like if you want a primary care physician or you want something a little more specialized, you can do that too. But it brings up doctors in your area who are patient reviewed. So, you know, you know, the ones that have a good rating, you're like, okay, people like this person and the next available appointment. And a lot of them are available within 24 hours or 48 hours. So you get an appointment real quick, boom, just like that.
And it's great. I mean, I've tried a couple of doctors on ZocDoc to find the right fit, but now I have it. And honestly, it's all thanks to ZocDoc. And I don't know what I would do without that, to be honest with you, because my mom kind of gave up on me when it comes to that. But right now, go check it out. Go to ZocDoc.com slash basement and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book top rated doctors today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com.
dot com slash basement to get started. All right. So go get it. Go book your doctors. Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement. All right. There you go, folks. And then while you're doing that, you know what you're not going to find on ZocDoc?
Our Patreon folks, patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. I tell you about it every single week. And quite frankly, I'm happy to tell you about it, okay? Laugh your cares away. Working, it's for another day, all right? Let the music play over on Patreon. Go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard and you sign up. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance if you get that first tier. And then that second tier, not only do you get these weekly episodes,
We'll be right back.
Folks, you know where you can find Patreon? If you go to TheBasementYard.com. Brand new, beautiful website. Incredible. God damn it. Sorry.
But also go to the website, thebasemeyard.com. You just let me go. I was doing it. Go to thebasemeyard.com because we have a form on the website where you can fill it out. It's called the audience form. You can go to thebasemeyard.com slash submit. We want you guys, if you're coming to the live shows, especially the first three, to fill out this form. Let us know what show you're going to be at. There's going to be a couple
questions there. Let us know and fill it out and be fun. Let's go crazy because we're going to use them during the show and we may bring a motherfucker on stage. Listen, the Basement Yard experience is just that, an experience. It's going to be interactive. So go submit if you're coming to those first three shows in Montclair, New Jersey, New Haven, Connecticut, and Medford, Massachusetts. And then also, while you're on thebasemanyard.com, you could sign up to get news. Yeah. You ever wanted an email from Joe Santagato? No, it's not going to be feet pics. No. No.
No, it's not going to be a love letter. But it will announce when we have new shows that are going to be announced. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard for the Patreon. TheBasementYard.com. You know you want it, babes. Come on. Thank you. Back to Joe. Yeah. Thank you, Frank. So no New Year's resolutions for you? Nothing personally? I have another one for you. Marathon Joe's back. God damn it, Joey. I want to do that at the end of the year. Oh.
I was told that I could get a bib so I have to do it. Get a bib? The bibs. Like you have to like you can't just do it if you're gonna do it. What's a bib? The thing that you wear. A sign? A sign. It's called a bib. A piece of paper? It's a bib. It's a piece of paper pinned to your shirt.
Are you- there's words for things that exist? I'm telling you and then you're trying to change it. Is it a piece of paper? It's a bib. Answer my question though. You're not answering my question. What is it made of? I don't know. Paper. Okay. Is it pinned to your shirt? Yes. Just call it a piece of paper pinned to your shirt. It's called a bib, you dumbass. Anyway, I was told that I could get one for the marathon, so I think I have to run it. Just so you guys know, Joey walked in today and he's like, ugh.
I'm so tired. Oh, I'm so tired. I'm like, okay, I'll give in. Never happened. Why are you tired? Oh, I ran right before I got here. Fuck you. You know what? Seriously. I haven't eaten today at all. That's dumb. It's 542. I'm dying. One of my resolutions for you was going to be
Eat fast food once a month. Be like us. Be a normal person. Come back down to reality. What is fast food? Remove yourself from that ivory tower at which you sit upon. What is fast food like? McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell. But can it just be burgers? No, because that's not Burger King or McDonald's or Wendy's, dude, or White Castle. I will pay for you to eat. Oh, I had McDonald's recently.
I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I only got a shake and fries. Oh my God, you suck so much. You suck so much. I only got a shake and fries. If you guys... That's fast food. By the way, the shakes at McDonald's, what is in that? Yeah. What is it? Cocaine, dude. Holy fuck. I've never tasted anything like that before in my life. Cocaine. Here, folks. This is what... I'm asking you to do something, okay? If you want to see us eat a Crave Case on a Patreon episode... Stop putting this out there. All you have to do is go to...
Pete Molino's Instagram. No, stop, stop. And just on his picture, right? White Castle is great.
Why? He hates it? No. But if he hits us up saying, what the hell? Why are people commenting this? Is this your fault? Then I know you did it enough to get noticed and we'll do it for a Patreon episode. I don't want to eat a Crave Case. Neither do I, but we have to. I think you do. This is the second time you've brought it up, Frank. This kid wants a Crave Case. Do you think we could? You know what you did? You know what you confessed to me, you disgusting freak? That you went to the store and- No!
No, it wasn't a store. Frankie went to the store. No, it wasn't. Shut up. He went to the store. No. Frankie went to the supermarket. No. And he bought. No. I'm going to scream again. Frozen. No. Frozen White Castle. No. And he kept it in his fridge. No. Like a freak. No. No. It wasn't. If you let me tell the story, I'll tell the story.
Frankie if it's long-winded, I don't I was desperate. My grandmother was in the hospital. Don't don't you dare blame it on you? It wasn't a demented one. Oh, what was wrong with her? I honestly don't know. Ah Mystery could have been demented. We don't know he was in the hospital a possible demented possible dementia. Yeah and at like the hospital vending machine they had like a vending machine of like frozen foods and
And I got... I don't know if this checks out. I'm telling you, I got frozen White Castle burgers, microwaved them. I was like 15 when this happened. I was like 15. I love how you were so quick to yell at me as if being like, I didn't get it at a supermarket. I got it in a hospital vending machine. As if...
That was going to be better. That makes it even crazier. No, no, no, no, no, no. The supermarket is way worse. That is deliberate. That is actus reis mens rea. That is the wrongful deed and the mind. Yeah, we're not going Latin here. Listen. That is way worse. When you're in a desperation move getting it at a hospital vending machine, that's okay. What else was in there? Like oats.
Like yogurt, a parfait maybe. They're freezing parfaits and yogurt? I don't know. Frank, you... Think about this, right? Just think about this. You bought a burger from a vending machine. Like, did not know that was something that could happen in his life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you did it. You know what? If we do that for Patreon, there's another one I want to do. I want you to eat a burger in a can. Have you ever heard of burger in a can? No.
They're exactly what it sounds like. They put a whole burger in a can and can it, and then you open it and eat it. I could throw up thinking about that because I can only imagine what they have to put into this burger to make it last in a can. They just seal it. They vacuum seal it. Oh, I'm sure that's all they do to it, Frank. Yeah, that's it. All they do is seal it. You just close it. No big deal. The elements can't get to it, and thus it can't deteriorate faster. Wrong. All I'm saying is White Castle Crave Case...
Could be a possibility. When's the last time you had White Castle, dude? 2002. Honestly, the last time I can really remember having it was like 2008. So like, let's do it. What do we got to lose? Patrons. If they, it could happen. Make it happen, folks. No. I don't know if I could do that, to be honest with you. It's a toughie. Also, we have to talk about this. Obviously, there was a video that came out of a guy on the Senate floor getting re-ba-fucked.
He was just getting slammed on the Senate floor. On the Senate floor. And it was in a Democratic seat. I believe the seat belonged to Amy Klobuchar. That's a person's name? Yeah. Her last name is Klobuchar. Go ahead. Make fun of her last name. Stupid last name. Okay. You did it. Call my bluff. It sounds like a baseball player. It does. It sounds like, honestly... Like Chuck Knobloch or something. Like...
What was her name? Amy? Klobuchar? Klobuchar. There's some stuff with Chuck Knobloch. Some stuff. What do you do? Racist and stuff? I don't know about racist, but like definitely like I think he like threw a window AC unit at his wife or something. He threw the whole AC at his wife? I think so. Yeah. Is she okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hope. I don't know.
He threw an air conditioner at his wife? I think so. I could be... Bro, you know how mad you gotta be to throw an AC? To take it out of the window and toss it at someone? I hate putting an AC in. I can't imagine that someone would make me so mad that I would take the AC and throw them at them because then I'd be like, now I gotta put this fucking thing back. Well, you also can't imagine being in a place of anger where you would physically strike a woman.
No, that's tough to imagine too, but I would hit a woman with so many other weapons before it would be an AC, dude. That's insane. This person should be in jail. Yeah. Well, I think there was some stuff, but this fucking little twink was getting just fucking... Yeah, blast it. It was a gay thing, right? Gay sex? It was gay sex on the Senate floor. Gay sex on the Senate floor. Wild, dude. I'll be honest, though. If I was a gay, horny little bastard...
And I had access to the Senate floor, I'd probably try to get a little stuff in. Oh my God, dude. If I'm going to get gay sexed anywhere, it's the Senate floor. Or somewhere where I'm not supposed to be. The Senate floor, dude. No, I know. But even today, me, hello, how you doing? If you told me that I had access to the Senate floor, I'd be like,
I'm going to go sex there. It'd be cool to like get like, like something. Are you like one of those weirdos? It's just like in a, in like a, oh, let's sex right here until we can say we did it here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Okay. Not like bathrooms and shit though. Did I ever tell you? Did I ever tell you? Where's this going? Remember I told you through life, I've had like funny backhanded compliments. Told me through life. Yes, I do remember that. There was one, I guess not really a backhanded compliment, but it's one of the people that had given me a backhanded compliment and they were like, I was like in like,
Like, college. And they were, like, trying to be, like, frisky sexy. And I was just like, no, no, no, no, no. And they were like, why? Why not? I was like, because we're in, like, a public place. And they were like, I've had so much sex in public places. I've had sex in multiple public places. Don't be a bitch. Don't be. And I was like, that doesn't make me feel better about all the sex you're telling me you've had.
I exclusively fuck in parks. Do you realize that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not... I would see... Dude, the Senate floor, though, that's like a... You got it. That's like top of Empire State Building situation. Also, bro, if I'm the president, I'm fucking probably exclusively in the Oval Office. Well, you know, Joey B's ain't getting that fucking Joey D up. Yeah, that shit ain't coming. That shit ain't fucking...
You'll achieve this work. He doesn't know what his dick is. What is that? Hunter, can you help me out? What the hell is that? Hunter, help me out. Yeah, he knows what his dick is, Hunter. He knows too much about his own dick. Hunter's definitely gotten suck blowed in the fucking... Dude, if he's fucking doing 180 down the Vegas strip, you best believe Hunter Biden is going and banging some brawls in the fucking Senate floor. Also, I heard...
I saw a video of Michelle Obama and I believe that she said, like, if you're, when the presidency, you know, when Obama was in the White House and she's there, if you want to order something or like you need something or whatever for people to bring you, you pay for it.
Dude, if I'm the leader of the free world. I'm not paying for fucking anything. Dude, no way. I lead the country. You think I'm going to pay for a fucking cheeseburger? I'd be like, what do you want? You want a photo? Fucking dap him up. You know, do a couple fucking like, you know, what's up? That's a priceless photo. But like the White House like kitchen, if they're going to make it, then you. Hell no, dude. It's like, bro. Hell no. I mean, yeah, dude, they're not calling fuck. What'd you think I meant? They're calling Uber Eats to the fucking White House, you moron. Door down.
No, they can't get out. They get sniped. You walk through those gates, man. Dude, I thought you meant DoorDash. No, they have a fucking whole kitchen. Bro, are you kidding me? If there's a kitchen in my basement and they make me pay for my own food, I'm sending anthrax down there. The army's coming after you. I would make an executive decision. I'm declaring war on my neighbors. That's what I mean. I would just be like, yo, how about I just hit the button for the nuclear bombs? Dude, no way. Give me the fucking burger. That can't be real. That cannot be real. That's what she said, dude.
Michelle Obama, you might be lying. Dude, I'm pretty sure. I'm going to Google it. And she was like, you pay for it. Bro, if I was fucking President Obama, if I was President Frank Alvarez and I'm in bed and I was like, dude, I can go for a taco. And I call up the fucking, maybe, maybe I could see if it's like, you know, if the staff isn't working that late and then you need to pay for the staff.
But like put that on your fucking, you know, like put that on your hours that you, you know, submit. Don't make me, oh yeah, no problem, Mr. President. $10.62. I'm full on. Bro, here it is. In discussing Becoming, Kimmel explained that one of the most interesting things he read in the book was that the president and his family must pay for their own food during their time at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Bro, I'm telling you right now, dude, I'm flipping the fucking country upside down. If you make me pay for food, I'm the fucking president. And that doesn't matter. And I don't care who's in office. Any president, at least give them free food, dude. The bullshit they have to put up with.
Bro, are you kidding me? Free food! Bro, I don't care if it's fucking Reagan, you know, Taft. Who was the fat bastard? Taft. Yeah, I don't care who it was. If they order a fucking big ass, like, full, like, turkey dinner at 2 a.m., free. Or like a Kevin McAllister style dessert, like a bunch of ice cream. Dude, give me ice cream with marshmallows in a fucking giant, you know, like, cookie bowl.
Free holy shit a cookie bowl you like that right I do like that see what I did there dude. Holy fuck that sounds good Like a bowl made out of like yeah, yeah cookie dough that yeah baked Yeah, and then putting ice cream in that oh, yeah, and then breaking off piece of the hole Have you never wait? Hold on. Have you never had like a waffle bowl? I've got a waffle bowl It's different than cookie though. Hey, you're right. It is a little cookie is better. You know what I did once Oh excited now this watch this no I made fruit tacos. Oh
What? Here. We were just talking about dessert. Listen to me. Fruit tacos. I made a bunch of sugar cookies and I molded them to look like a taco and I let them cool like that. And then you fill it with ice cream, fresh fruit, cool whip. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm going to say right there.
I haven't eaten today. I know, you're hungry and desperate. I would eat 1,000 of those. That's why you're tired, because you're fucking... I haven't eaten. You haven't eaten. My body's like on zero right now. Yeah, that's why you're exhausted. Yeah, it's fine. Just go out there and eat some of those popcorn. It honestly was an accident. I'm not hunger striking, and it's not like something I do. I'm sure. But it was an accident. I'm sure. Actually, no, I had a protein shake this morning, but that's it. I'm sure, Joey. And a cappuccino.
Damn spicy little bitch. I don't know. I kind of like that Are you in like your cappuccino like era? I've had like four my entire life. Oh, all right Well get like a like a cappuccino maker and you're all I don't know why I want you to be a little like coffee slut, but What the fuck was the end of that? I want you to be a coffee scrub, ba What are you trying to say? I think I went for bro and boy at the same time. You said ba. Ba. Yeah Um, dude the first time I ordered coffee. I was mad nervous.
What? Because I thought that I would have to know flavors. Like I thought that I was like, bro, I don't... Time out, time out, time out. Okay. When I went, I went, right? And I was like, hi, can I have coffee? And I thought they were going to ask me something. So bro, before I'm like, it's my turn at the register. I'm looking at the menu and I'm like, what do I get? Hazelnut, like, I don't know. I'm the same way. Anytime, there's like a handful of times where I'll be like, hey, I'm passing Starbucks. You want me to bring you back anything? Beck will be like, yeah, bring me back a dip at the... And I'm like...
This is, yeah, what am I, I don't even know what I'm going to say here. Someone just walk in. Definitely sounds like it. Uh-oh. Hope we're not getting robbed. That would be quite the episode. So Joey's walking out. He's checking. I locked the door though, I think. No? What's going on? Just double checking. While he's gone, please help me. I've been trying to see my family. He hasn't let me leave this for 10 weeks. Please, God Almighty, please help me. He is a monster. Anything? Anything?
No If there is someone in here they're playing a good game of hide-and-seek a little game and I consider myself a good seeker like Harry Potter Yeah, well know what I was saying though like when I go to Starbucks. I'm like god, please like I don't speak the Starbucks lingo I'm just like let me get Small no like I'm sorry. Do you want a fucking mookie? Don't II or grande or bump a jean toes and I'm like dude, please I
Please just give me a coffee. I was just nervous that they were gonna ask me like oh what what roasts and I'm like Like I didn't know like you need to know roasts, but you didn't I you just walk up you have coffee and they give you coffee That was it. Oh, that's nice. So yeah, like so I didn't but I was nervous I was like I thought they're gonna ask me so I 100% I get so nervous anytime I've go to a Starbucks because I just I don't know and I don't speak their language and I'm just a scared little boy Yeah, language is tough, dude. We do have I don't know eggs. I
Language is tough. Language is... See? I need to eat something. We do have sponsors here. We have FitBod. FitBod's going to help you get in shape. You can start that New Year's resolution. Lickety split. Every single year, everyone's like, I'm going to get into shape. What's the best way to do that?
Probably getting a little bit of help from FitBot. FitBot is great because it creates a personalized workout routine based on your goals, fitness level, and available equipment, which is amazing. A lot of people don't have access to a gym membership or to a bunch of different, you know,
a bunch of different equipment. So, uh, and it's also based on your goals. If you want to get leaner, you want to get, you want to put on size or whatever. It's based on that. You can't just do any sort of fitness program that you find on the internet. You have to get one that's catered to you. Um, so yeah, if you don't have any sort of equipment or no experience, it's okay. You can still get a workout program customized for you because they have body weight stuff. They have over a thousand demonstration videos to teach you how to do it. So if this is your first time really getting into fitness, this is a perfect way to do it. Um,
But they adapt as you improve each workout would be challenging and push you to make to make sure you're doing prop You're making progress So yeah fit bond is the way to do it You know don't just like go out into your fitness journey like by yourself and try to figure it out along the way can get help Education, especially when it comes to something like fitness is super important So yeah, you can save some money doing this as well because getting a personal trainer super expensive
And you can save some money here with FitBod. You get 25% off your subscription or try the app for free at fitbod.me slash basement. That is F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash basement. So you can try it for free and get 25% off your subscription when you go to fitbod.me slash basement. So go try it out, folks. The beginning of the year is here. Happy New Year. Let's get into shape. All right, let's go crazy this year. And lastly, we have Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix...
Is an easy way to get clothes that fit you without having to endlessly browse through options and break the bank Okay, so you go on their website you fill out a style quiz And then they know like what what kind of stuff you're into and then they start pulling items for you And it's like having a personal stylist on the internet. It's very nice So shout out to stitch fix and it's also not just like clothes. They're making themselves It's a thousand brands and styles, uh that you know and love so they just choose the best options for you So I would try it out go to stitch fix
Um, they have sizes that range from extra small to 3xl. Uh, they'll find your perfect fit. It's great. So, uh right now, uh
You could try today at stitchfix.com slash basement, and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix. So they'll send you a few items. If you keep everything, you get 25% off. Again, that is stitchfix.com slash basement to get that 25% off if you keep everything in that fix. And I suggest you guys do it because it's kind of fun. It's like Christmas at the end of every single month or the beginning or whenever you do it. I don't know. But stitchfix.com slash basement. Go get it, folks.
All right. That's all the ads we have for today. Are we going to keep talking about this guy getting throttled on the fucking Senate floor? I forgot we were talking about that. We go all over the place. That's like our appeal. I'm not even going to respond to that sort of thing. It's kind of funny, though, that this guy is just getting his fucking... And there are people that are just like, is there nothing that's fucking holy anymore? It's like at least half of the population is getting fucked by the people in that room every day. So why not one...
Enjoying it. It's probably not the first time someone's gotten fucked in the Senate floor, you know? You gotta imagine, right? It's a carpeted floor, dude. You think Hillary Clinton was throwing it back? I can't imagine them having sex. Yeah, I don't either. Hillary and Bill? What about Connelly's or Rice? Call him pal? Stop naming people. Isn't he dead? I think he died, yeah. So no longer throwing it back. Had thrown it back at a previous point in time. They threw dirt on him. Now he's dead. Okay.
And the last thing I guess we'll touch on here, big news, popping news that I just found out today. Apparently Tinder is offering a service that's like exclusive. If you're on Tinder, it's for the top 1% of like active users or whatever. It's $500 a month. Listen, I know like you are... How horny can you be? Hold on. I know you're not technically one of the top 1%.
But you have to speak. You're closer to the 1% than us people. Frankie, that's not what they mean. You dumbass. You're going to speak for them, you fucking rich assholes. It's not about being, oh, because of the 500? Yeah, dude. Horrid. Horrid. Really bad. Horrid. Dude, how horny? Bro, you know you could buy with $500? A fucking. Megazord. Tell them. Well, I was going to go like a prostitute.
Oh yeah, you could definitely get a sucker. Dude, you could just buy sex for that. For way less, dude. Yeah, way less. 80 bucks maybe. It won't be that good. $200 though. How do you know that? How do you know that? That was a hard guess. That was a hard guess, huh? That's all a hunch. I've never paid for sex in my life. Pretty educated hunch. 80? 80. It just feels like the right thing. 80 seems a little low. Really? For some tomb. I would say at least 100. Depends where you are. What? What does that mean? I don't know.
This is you could just like go out there and just bro There's so much more you could do with $500 then try to get a date and you know, it's gonna be hysterical People are gonna do it Yeah, and it's gonna be like you're just gonna meet just like hardcore finance douchebags and then like or the Horniest dudes who love just like it's like it hasn't worked for me So like $500 be my twin tinderella, but it's kind of crazy. There's other apps like fucking Raya. That's like I
20 bucks or something. Yeah, but see, but that's the thing is that Raya is like exclusive. It's like a, this is supposed to, it's like a famous person's thing. And that's the thing is that they clearly Tinder wants to become that in some capacity. They were the original dating app or I guess match or harmony. So Raya has a membership that's $20, but then they have a plus membership. That's $50. The fuck is that? What does that mean? What's in the plus?
What's in the plus you get like more information about people? I don't even know dude. What does it say? I I just i'm just getting a list. What the oh, nevermind Um, yeah, no, and then there's like skip the weights. What the fuck? Oh, because I think you can only scroll a certain amount of times in a day. Oh, they put yeah Yeah, they put like a like a hard lock on like you can only get like 20 swipes in a day What is what i'm gonna what is why uh plus
Why is that the case? Why? Like, that's such a strange thing to put behind a paywall. What? That you can only like swipe so many times a day.
I don't know, dude. They got it limited, I guess. Well, they probably did it because it's like, yo, we're going to make these people buy more swipes. I mean, yeah, if there's a way to make money, but that's just such a... How do you justify that? Outside of saying we're going to make money. Also, Tinder said that they're going to... Because it's invite only. You can't just do this. They have to invite you and then you have to be like, yes, $500. But they're only offering it to the top 1% or even less of the most active users. And I feel like those people...
Probably not the best Yeah, definitely not passed off or because like all the dudes are just doing this and also what an awful business model like your business model is Imploring people to not use your business like get on our dating app meet the person of your life and then get rid of the dating app You know what? I mean? Like it's just it's it that's that's such a weird like they're shooting themselves in the foot here. I
Not really. They're banking on that people aren't just going to find their wife on the first month. Well, that's what they tailor these things to, these dating websites. It's like, we're going to find the right match for you. Yeah, but there's still a market for that. I mean, it's like selling someone a mattress. It's like you're going to sell someone a mattress and they don't need a mattress for another fucking four years. People still buy mattresses. You get mattresses every four years, Joey? No, longer. The last mattress I had, I had forever. I just got a new one, like...
Like a year ago. Yeah, I got we got ours when we moved into the house three years ago So yeah, but but I'm saying it's just this is so so unbelievably dumb Tinder just wants to they want it first of all They want to make up some ground after that whole tinder swindler thing. Hey, they didn't look so good after that Yeah, but that's got to be good. That's got to be good. Uh, yes good press any presses good press bad presses good No, yeah, any press any presses good press. Yeah, they say yeah, you gotta imagine that's not real here tinder swindler was fucking that was nuts. Oh
Guy was doing stuff out there. He did some stuff. Yeah. He was stealing money or he's convincing women that he needed to borrow money. He was convincing them that he was a billionaire. Cause he had like a nice watch. And then like, yeah. And then he'd be like, my credit card is no longer working. I need the $200 million. Send me 30,000. This will be big time fun times for me and you.
Wasn't he like super like European or something? I assume, yeah. But I don't know if he sounded like that. I feel bad. That one woman gave him 250K. She took out loans and shit. At a certain point? At a certain point. She's like, we never met. Or like, we met once. Yeah. Bro, at a certain point, you're taking out loans to help someone. I'd be like, yo, you take out the loan. The fuck? Wild. I feel bad for the women that were victimized, but at the same time...
Part of them is a little dumb. Yeah. But the Tinder thing, a little crazy. I don't know anyone who'd be willing to pay $500 for Tinder. Dude, why? You could go out there, be a human, and meet people face-to-face for zero. Bro, go to Amsterdam. Take your $500 and let it ride. Bro, $500 in Amsterdam? I imagine that'll get you the most drug-fueled sex night, like, ever. Yeah, it would be sick. It would be insane. It'd be wild. Let me ask you a question. No. No.
If we went to Amsterdam, would you go to like a sex show? No. Why? Because I have no interest in walking. But like, I don't really either. But you do to go. No, but like, it's like funny. Like, well, we went to a sex show. Is it funny? Yeah. No. It's like a thing. You get to say like, yo, I went to Amsterdam and we went to the sex show. It was like crazy. Weird. Nah, I'm good. I don't want to go to sex shows. I'm not, it's a weird thing to watch. Like,
I don't like people. What are they going to be doing? Like fucking put like spike balls in their asshole and like shooting it out and then going like, we have such a fun time. I really wanted to do the impression again. I clearly spiked balls, by the way. I don't know what they do over there. My understanding of Amsterdam. This is not a joke. Is the movie Euro trip. That's what it is. Club vendor six. Yeah, that's all it is. And like Lucy Lawless comes out and was that her? I don't know. Might've been, but it's out, isn't she?
Oh, I don't know about all that. Who's the girl? Eurotrip, right? The girl.
Who's Lucy Lawless, would you say? I think she was the BDSM girl. Oh, I was thinking of the other girl. She pulls her tits out. Who? The girl. I don't know. There's a girl that's with them on the trip. Harriet the Spy? Yeah, she pulls her tits. You don't see her tits, but she pulls them out. Oh, I don't remember that. I forget why. I don't remember. I watched that movie like two years ago, and I... Bro, that movie is still funny. Chica! That movie is still... The nude beach? Dude, guys, it hasn't aged well in certain areas. Still funny, though. Yeah, but...
No, I would not want to watch a live sex show Joey. I would go just for funny good for you Just for funny. I just I get uncomfortable with that stuff. Just be be be cool. Be not be cool big Okay, here I'd be cool. Just be comfortable comfortable. What are you worried about? Like that? They're you gonna be like, oh my god, are they not I don't think they're in love I'm not worried. I just it for me is uncomfortable to watch other people
Do sex things. It's just weird. I'm sorry. But you can't appreciate the fact that this is so ridiculous that it's funny? But I can appreciate it from not watching it. Oh, that happens? Crazy. You go and tell me all about it. Fine. And then let me know. You went to that one place. I don't know if I can say the name of it. Okay. You went to that one place, and it was like, that's insane. Don't ever need to see it, but that's pretty crazy. Okay.
I think that everyone should go to the box. I joke, okay. Because... Everyone should work in the service industry. Everyone should read a book a year. Everyone should go watch someone shove a fucking cactus in their asshole. Yeah. No. Because then you walk out into the world and you're like, what is real and what's not?
Literally, you're like what the fuck is going on here? No Absolutely, dude Why I just I don't know if there's something about it Like I can't describe it because like talking about it You're like this is weird and like what do you like but it's like it's so strange And then you walk outside and you're like this that what was that like that only exists in there You know, I don't know. It's just weird. That's a weird. That's just a weird one I told you my fucking the the waitress had her tits out
And I was like, I want to eat this fucking, I want to eat my fried calamari. She was bringing me shots of vodka. I didn't order them. Yeah, it was horrible. Shots of vodka? This place sounds great. No, I mean, the person I was with ordered them. Who was the asshole? I'm not going to say his name. You can't say it? Nope. Give me a hint. You wouldn't even guess this person. Oh, actually, I think I know who you went with. Well, there you go. I think I know who you went with. Yeah.
You're just looking at me. I'm sending you a telepathic message. Oh, are you? I'm not getting it. Shocker. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I knew it. That's it. That's the one. But yeah, it's a fun time. Fun time. Funny time. Guess so, man. It's good.
I just... You know how I am. I'm weird with that stuff. Like, I... I wouldn't be able to. Just, like, watching people, like, shove things in their... No, well, no. They're having sex, I think. Weird! Yeah, I know. Weird! Joey...
I would want to go not for the sex but for like No that's what you're going to a sex show for No no no I want to go for like the environment to be like what are people doing in here No no you would be a part of the environment Don't go and try to look down upon them as like what kind of freaks are here You're the freak Yeah I guess You would be the freak that's there I just want to know how people react to this Like what are you supposed to do? Like what's the protocol? Like someone's on stage having sex Yeah like are you whistling? Are you watching? Whistling
Or is it just like people are just kind of standing around? You should go and just do like typical like American sports like chants. Like da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, you know. Yeah. I don't know. Sounds interesting to me. But maybe 30,000 patients will fly to Amsterdam and get Frankie in a sex show. No, we will not. I would like to go to Amsterdam though and go in the canal. I heard a lot of people die in that canal actually.
You're really not selling this place well at all. Well, it's just... No, Amsterdam looks fucking fire. But I hear people die in the canal because they get drunk and they fall in. Honestly, there's no reason for me to go to Amsterdam. I'm not a weed guy. I don't want to go see like fucking... It's beautiful. Forget about the fucking weed. That's why everyone talks about going. It's like weed...
There's sex and boobs and people dying in bodies of water. Dude, that happens literally everywhere. Why? There's sex and boobs and weeds and dead everywhere. No, no, but that's what people go there. They're like, you go to a cafe and it's like, oh, I want to have it with brownie. This would be such fun time Supermax.
You have a very 2001 version of Amsterdam in your head. I told you. It's from Eurotrip. Yeah, I guess. But anyway, that is all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you? You can find me celebrating the new year with this baby boy right here. I love you. Happy New Year 2024. Going to be wild, not only because of our three confirmed shows, but maybe there's going to be more. You can check those out if you go to TheBasementYard.com and follow The Basement Yard on all
Socials, baby. Keep an ear to the ground. You might find out something. You might get in on something before other people get in on it. All right? And then go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Sign up for that Patreon. Thank you. Thank me. America. You guys go follow me at JoeSanagato. Go follow the show at TheBasementYard on TikTok and Instagram. TheBasementYard.com. Go fill out that audience form if you're coming to the shows. And that is all. See you guys next time. Happy New Year. Bye. Happy New Year.