#441 - We're Soaking Wet
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Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Uh, go ahead. Go ahead. Frankie's doing his thing now. What am I doing, dude? It's just, we're so close. Just so you guys know, the F1 season is, uh, it starts in a couple days, so Frankie thinks he's gonna- Are you so excited? Literally the least funny bit that he's ever created, and like he just- What do you mean least funny? This isn't a bit. You hammer it into the ground. This isn't a bit. Look,

As we call it, fast season is approaching. Yeah, here we go. And like, I'm so excited to have some good fast driving back. Yeah. You know, like, oh my God, like, could this, could they get any faster? We don't know. So we're excited. It's been so hard ever since the Super Bowl happened. Like, we've been without football and like, what is there to look forward to?

Fast driving is bad. Right, yeah, okay. And you know, it's just like... Anyone else laughing out there or what? What's going on? Anyone else? But like, how can you not be so excited? I can't hear you over the roar of the crowd, Frank. Can you just, for a sec, stop pretending like you think this is a bit... You know how much I love cars. Okay. And fast driving. And especially turning. This is what I... Okay, that was... Who's not...

Who's not excited for... Especially turning. Who's not excited for turning, dude? Yeah, okay. Who's not? You're done. It's over. I don't think I'm done. Especially Europeans driving. Because they have smaller cars over there. Do they? Hell yeah. Have you ever driven on the other side of the road? No. Me neither. They didn't have you drive on the wrong side in Portugal? No.

Or were you just kind of going all over the place? I may have been. I thought I was on the right side. Did you say there weren't any other cars over there? No. But you didn't see any other cars? No, we drove a lot. I mean, in Comporto, there was no one on the road there. But we drove in Lisbon. It's normal there.

Like the right side is I love how normal is here. Yeah Normal for us almost like whatever america does. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely Yeah, I I wouldn't I would be afraid to drive on the wrong side of the road because like that's just it's like a muscle memory thing you know, like I would be so like yeah, I don't it'd be weird but like so like what are they serious question? Well, I know but i'm trying to test you. Okay. What do they do in f1? Is it it's one lane but like trick trivia

Do they drive on the right side of the lane? What? I mean, like... It's crazy. What do you mean? I hate the bit. I hate it so much. What bit, Joey? There's some really...

Driving guys getting into some really small cars. We get it. To drive fast. How is that not a recipe for just fucking intensity? Yeah. You know? And don't even get... You know how it happens. I love how you do this, but you literally collect children's toys like a weirdo, dude. Like you have sealed toys from the 90s that you're like, oh, I paid... The other day he came in, he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Careful. I know what you're going to do and don't you even fucking dare. He's like, these are the best of the best.

The guy wants $4,000, I'm gonna offer him $1,200 for like eight action figures. And he's trying to make fun of me for watching F1, popular sport by the way. Where? Where is it popular, bro? You dumb bitch! Definitely not this corner of the earth. Welcome to America! Throw a fucking pigskin around. Shove a fucking, you know, sausage down your fat throat. First of all, you stupid asshole, I had to explain to you the other day the five positions in basketball.

Yeah. Because you didn't know them. Forgive me for not being in tune with basketball, a sport that I openly speak about not watching. But I would go as far to say, as basketball is way more popular than people that drive little fucking kiddie cars, what's the difference between... I would say Mario Kart is way more popular than your fucking... your cool European... That's not fair. You're going to include the Japanese in this? Let me ask you a question. The Japanese are included in F1 too, so they got their hands in both pots. That's not wrong. Let me ask you a serious question. Hey,

They drink milk after they win in F1? What kind of dog shit is that? That's NASCAR, you fucking idiot. Also stupid. Be very clear about something. They drink milk. That I don't get. The last thing I want to do after being in a 200 degree car... That's not true.

Is drink milk? Cold milk is good. It is delicious. Did I tell you that my dad, when he told me like in high school at football practice or like football camp, they had a big thing of water and a big thing of milk. Yeah, because big milk was fucking pushing this agenda. Strong bones. Yeah, pushing this agenda that like, oh, you're going to, you will be a superhero if you drink milk every day. And now listen. Dude, my dad told me the story of this cold milk. Like he was so horny. He was like, oh.

I'll be honest with you. The milk was so cold. Let me be very clear and straight up with you. An ice cold glass of whole milk, it is an itch that you never knew you had to scratch and it is unlike anything else. Have you ever had milk...

And like, for some reason it got a little too cold. So there's some shards. Dangerous. I kind of like it though. Do you? Yeah. Cause it gives it some texture. I've, you know what? So we make, um, like ice pops for the girls, for the kids. Not with milk.

Well, we'll put, they're just smoothies. Oh, I thought you were making milk ice pops. No, no, no. But we'll put yogurt and like almond milk in it. And yogurt, when it freezes, gets the glass. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like a little glassy. I like that. I thought you were making milk pops for your kids. I was going to literally call Child Protection Service. No, if I'm making milk pops for the kids, I promise you, I'll call myself, you know, in first. Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

What are you about to say? No, but yeah, dude, a cold. I like milk. I can't have it that much. I think we've come around on like, you know. Yeah, we know it's exploding. It's not good on the works. Goes in smooth, comes out rough. For some. Yeah. Like I can have it, but like.

It's also very high in fat. Didn't your demented grandma drink enough milk to just beat lactose intolerance? She like reversed it? Yeah. Like it gave up on her. Her lactose intolerance was like, you got me, dude. You called my bluff here. Yeah. She won the war. Bro, she would eat

Like, she probably ate more dairy. What was that woman eating? She would eat food? Bro, you could have sauteed dog shit and put it on a shingle and it would have been the greatest thing to her. But did she eat food or she ate like... What kind of a question is that? No, but like... Did she eat food? Did she have like one tooth? I didn't know if she was eating food or if she was eating like some sort of like puree of shit. You know, toward the end, I wasn't around enough to be able to confidently tell you what her dietary needs consisted of.

Right. I will recall, though, when she was home, she ate anything and it was the greatest meal she ever had because... Right, yeah. I think she just... That's actually not bad. That might be a little... That might be nice. Like a check mark. Yeah, like a... Like, ooh, I wish I... If we're looking on the bright side of dementia... Like the first time you had pizza. Yes. It's like... That's nothing better. You ever say to yourself, like, if I could see a movie again for the first time... Ugh. Like...

Well, this just happened, and it's actually purposely segues into something. I don't know if that's offensive, but we're trying to see a silver lining. It's like optimism. Listen. Who are you? Optimism. Who are you? I don't know. But I started watching Love is Blind. Oh, boy. And there's like 50. I mean, I think there's like five seasons or something. And my sister just said it to me yesterday. She was like, I'm jealous that you haven't seen all those seasons.

So imagine if you were demented, every single episode would be brand new. It would be hard to follow along. A little bit, I can imagine. But it would have that feeling. Imagine the first time you've ever had, like you were saying, a pizza or a burger. And then the next day you have it. I want a burger bad right now. Bro, so bad? I want a wet burger. You like dry burgers or wet burgers? Kind of a questions that. I want this thing to come in my mouth. What a wild thing to say.

What an insane thing to say. But I know what you mean because I want a burger that's like the cheese is so melted and I want to squeeze it and it's like, it's like disgusting. It's like a swamp of like cheese and like wet. What is that? You ever do something and immediately regret it? Yeah.

That's fine. Well, obviously that's going to be a clip. You know what I'm saying? God damn it. But I love a good wet burger. I'm just saying like a fat, juicy burger. Like when they do that, when Gordon Ramsay cuts into it and squeezes and there's just like piss. I love when it pisses on me. Oh, yes. I love burger piss. Yeah, I love that too. I'm all for that piss. I will dip fries in burger piss. Like when the burger like pisses a little bit, I'll be like...

Oh, well, that's why when you eat it, trick. On top of the fries. On top of the fries. So it pisses on the burgers. Yeah, no, no. It pisses on the fries. That's what I mean. It pisses. It gives a golden shower to the fries. I like that. That's a good idea. I'm telling you. Eat your burgers over your fries because the burger piss will make some more flavors in the fries. I really wish we could undo that whole thing.

That whole thing. That is a good way to eat burgers, though. I love those. It's just, you know, just like a sloppy, wet. Just like Jack Cheddar. You know, honestly, honestly, I'm going to. American cheese on a burger. Because it doesn't separate the way other cheeses do. Because American cheese, three, two, one, plastic. Isn't cheese, yeah, not real. Right. Inedible, but we do. And, like, the way that it melts on a burger, immediately. Three, two, one.

That made me laugh. I immediately regret it. Three, two, one. I haven't had American cheese in a long time. Me neither, but it's time. It's time for some. It's time to go. We might have to get some burger. There's a spot in Tom's River called Burger 25, and these burgers are just falling over each other, like themselves. They're just so wet. Fat messes. And just fucking gross. Dude, one time I went to a place.

Not joking. Went to go visit my demented grandmother. And we went to a show bringing the world together. So I don't actually know if she had Alzheimer's, which I did. Apparently different. But, you know, same umbrella to me.

Not trying to offend anybody. I'm sorry. I'm just stupid. But I went and visited his. Afterwards, we went to this like strip mall and they had a burger place there that I had never heard of before. And we went and dude, this was the best burger I've ever had. It was like they... It wasn't a smash burger, but they like smashed it. And then when I ate it, it was so flat, but it was...

Like eating a fucking coconut. Really? It was just wet. There was water everywhere. You do understand the edible part of coconut is not wet. Well, you know what I mean. No, no, no. If I bit into the outside of a coconut. It's like, honestly, I'm going to give you something wet to bite into. Celery. Yeah, but I'm talking like just like a fucking...

Whore of a peach. Oh, yeah, just like a summer or like a fucking watermelon like you buy it in yeah, yeah Dude, dude, what are my you drown in a watermelon? Yes, you can you absolutely can yeah, but just like just like a filthy slopping wet burger Yeah, honestly might might be the move tonight Might be the move. Oh, it's so funny. I will starve myself until dinner to have one. Oh

I can't tell you how many times we talk about food. And then immediately on the way home, I call Becca and I'm like, you defrosted something for dinner? Put it back. Put it back in the freezer, dude. Bro, last week I got home. The kids, like my in-laws came over and brought the kids McDonald's. Becca had already eaten. So she's like, you just, you know, like you eat something at the house or just kind of like figure out like what you want. I was like, oh, okay. I'll figure it out.

it out double meat taco bell baby had to get it done what uh what was it what was it a supreme was it i mean i'm cheesy gordita i'm a very listen

I'm pretty consistent with my Taco Bell orders. Cheesy gordita crunch, no spicy ranch. Why? Because I don't like the spicy ranch. Joey, don't ask why. I just don't like it. I thought there was going to be more. No. And then a Crunchwrap Supreme meal with just the spiciest fucking Sierra Miss or Starry, whatever it's called now. Spicy. Spicy.

Like, you know, soda has bitey, bitey, bitey. You know what I'm talking about. Like, it fucking smacks you in the throat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Pop Rocks. Yes. And then just a Taco Supreme. What's a Taco Supreme? It's a regular taco, but with sour cream. Nice. Double meat it, and I fucking...

Killed it. Yeah. I fucking murdered it. Is that three items? Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, nice. I murdered it. Yeah. I usually do cheesy gordita crunch. Yup. And then I... Oh, no, actually, that's a lie. I do crunch wrap supreme, and then I do a chicken quesadilla. Someone recently tweeted us, because we've been talking about Taco Bell a lot lately. Not we, you. I just want to put this out there. You have. Put this out there.

They said they use the same amount of meat no matter what you get. So if you get a regular taco or you get a Crunchwrap Supreme, it's the same amount of meat. So you have to double meat on the Crunchwrap Supreme. Right. So that's what I did. Yeah, I'll probably double meat. Listen, a Five Guys burger where it's just like fucking yelling at me from inside that foil wrapping. Yeah. And it's just like ready to just like... Just beaten and battered. Just like... Yes, absolutely. I love it. I want to go to Five Guys right now. Okay. Okay.

Pop-Tarts and Taco Bell are neck and neck right now. Yeah, they are. They're really, really vying for it. Aren't they? Yes. Everyone loves an underdog, and we have some other brands that are kind of working their way through the ranks and, you know, dealing with- This is all news to me, by the way. Five guys? Oof. How fun- Listen, marketing opportunity. Five plus two guys. Then you'll have seven guys. Seven men. It'll be seven guys. Get us behind there. Make a burger. Mm-hmm.

And it'll be basement boy burgers, seven guy burgers. Yeah. If you want. Make our burgers because guess what else they have there? Fries. Hot dogs. Nathan's. You might be able to overstep Nathan's in the great brand basement yard battle of the brands. Yeah. Just a thought. It is just a thought. We will eat a burger every single episode if you want us to.

I will have that checkered cup right here. Yeah. And just like... Hold on. Have you ever seen videos of people with like, you know, raisin canes? I've never even seen one, but raisin canes. I've heard of like raisin canes and buckies and stuff like that. Bro, I've seen people that get a like full, like a large diet Coke cup and it's filled with sauce.

And then they take chicken tenders and they slam it in this sauce and it gets all over their fingers and they eat the whole thing dripping with this sauce. Oh, all right. My first reaction is like...

Where are we as a country that this is allowed? We're dying very quickly. My second thought is let me shrink myself down to a microscopic size and jump into the cup and get it all over me and then eat myself. Yes, I'm with you on that. That's my second thought, and that one is just a permanent one. I'm a big dipper.

I can't eat dry food. Wet food. Wet food. I'm like a cat. I need wet food. Exactly. I swear to God, yeah. If you give me, like, people that eat dry cereal, I'm pretty sure they have human remains in their basement. Literally like this. Yeah. Literally like this. And like that. 1960s Batman style. Just like this and a little of that. And then the pow, bing, bazoom is going to, like, right after he hits you. Stupid assholes. I want a wet dip.

Dip. Or like fries. But also. Raw dog and fries. But also like dips are the way to bring the world together. We are so divided as a nation and as a planet. Under God indivisible with liberty and justice for all. For all. You know what brings us the glue that is going to bring us together and hold us together? Dips. Which ones? Which ones? All dips. Salsa dips. Salsas. Pfft.

What? You can't say that clearly. Salsas. Salsas. Salsas. Like, like, like sauces. You know what I'm saying? We got salsas. Salsas and sauces? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are two different words and you can't pronounce them differently. But you know what I'm saying. Go ahead. Green, red, corn. Name them again. Start over. Start with salsas. Go ahead. Green, red, corn. Green, red, corn. Salsas.

What's corn? Corn salsa. You never had corn salsa? Oh, corn. Yeah, I can't hear you. I'm thinking corn sauce. And then the other side. The other side. Yeah. Sauces. Like barbecue, ketchup, blue, ranch. Oh, blue. You know, for you fucking freaks that like honey mustard. Name something honestly that you can't dip into everything.

Hot dog, watch this. Into fucking salsa it will go. Probably delicious. I would love to put Chipotle mayo on a hot dog and then just ruin it. I'm telling you right now, you're going to do it. Yeah. And you're going to love every second of it. Like a motivational speaker. Yeah. I'll tell you this right now, it's done. I wish we could... Just put it into practice. How hysterical would it be if we made one of our like...

basement yard experience live shows just a Motivational like like one of those like pyramid scheme ones where it's just like who loves Chipotle Mayo who here loves fucking hot dogs together Just like make it an entire like we're like Tony Robbins up there You know, it's crazy. I've wanted every single food we've named love is blind now We're here now. We've just dipped a hot dog in Chipotle Mayo. So a French dip hot dog. Oh

Wow. How? How? Just pour it on. Just the jus? The sauce. He said that. I don't know what you're talking about. It's what it's called. It's not the time for that. It's what it's called. Just the dip. Oh, yeah. The dip is called a jus. Yeah, yeah. As long as you give it a little French in the beginning there, it's okay. Yeah. Dips can bring the world together. Yeah. Spinach artichoke. Good. Crab. Crab.

Crab. Crab, like lobster, like cream cheese. Anything with crab is going to get me going. You know? And then just classics. Ketchup. Yeah.

It's a big sauce world out there folks and we're all on board for that to be honest. So love is blind, you like it? Yeah, love is blind. I watched it the other day and then I got addicted to it because I just love sitting in my bed and talking shit about people and that's how I watch the show. That's what reality TV has become. It's like in our normal life where I was just like, I'm not being judgmental. No judgment. But now you're in your bed. Now you have a place to be judgmental. You're in your bed, you're laying down, it's right before and you audibly go, you fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah.

It's great. I don't watch it. Becca watches it, but every now and then she'll throw it on while I'm lying in bed with her. And I'm just looking at it and I'm just like... It's brutal. It's a brutal concept. It's like, obviously, this is not going to work out. Who thought this was going to work out? What a...

The producers deserve a fucking round of applause. They do. You have saved humanity. Like, come on. I get the idea of like connection without seeing each other. Sure. But if you look at the person and they look like your dad's asshole. You're not going to be attracted. You're not going to be able to see past it, guys. Sexuality and attraction is a big part of connection. Wow. There he goes, folks. I'm.

I'm not... Like, listen, every ass has a seat. I full-on believe that. What is... You've never heard that saying? Every ass has a seat? My dad loves that saying. Your dad loves that saying? What is that? Oh, like, a face?

No. Just like every person has, like every dog is their day. Every person is their person. Every ass has a seat. Oh, I was, okay, nevermind. My head was completely in the clouds there. You were thinking of sitting on faces. I was thinking of sitting on faces or penises. I don't know. I just, I love how like, we're just like, the worst part of that show is the music.

Yeah, I made a comment. I was like, because I went to my mom's house yesterday with my mom and my sister, and we were watching the fucking last episode or some shit, and I was like, and we're all drinking white wine. Being a bitch, dude. I'm being a fucking bitch, dude. Just sitting there, white wine. My niece was up too. White wine, almost guarantee your legs are crossed. I was sitting on the floor drinking.

Crisscross applesauce? I was not crisscross applesauce. I almost said it. But I was sideways like... Yeah. Like with a white... And you're not a white wine guy. You're normally... No, I don't really love it. Reds and oranges. Yeah. White. It'll just like burn a hole through you basically. It's so sweet. Yeah. I'm not a... I mean, they have dry whites, but... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But I forgot why I brought that up. Just sitting there watching Love is Blind? Yeah, I was just watching, you know, just the girls hanging out, being girls. I love that. And yeah, no, it's interesting to watch the whole thing and just watch it all kind of like collapse. Like you're looking forward to it all not working out. I just, I don't, I don't understand. There's actually a couple on the show where it's like they seem to be working out and it seems to be like going well for them. And you're like, oh, they'll probably, and I'm like, whenever they come on the screen, I'm like, I'm going to go piss.

You don't want to see low. I don't want to see this. You want to see a train wreck. I want to see disaster. You want to see people see each other and they're like, would you honestly be real for fucking three seconds of your life? Okay. If you were on that show. Nope.

Okay. What was the question? I was gonna say- If I was on the show. I was gonna ask if you would care about like world peace and stuff like that, but alright, you said no already. What was the question? The question was, if you're on that show, and you had established a connection with someone talking through a wall, and then you saw them and they just- I couldn't. You couldn't fake it, right? Like- I would- Because- But what that is to me is like, that's just friendship. Like you can establish- No, but there's a level of connection that you speak through- Not in five days!

No, no, no, no, you can't I'm sorry like not seeing someone and you talk to a friend differently from you talk to a fucking potential romantic We're talking about a person that you you've known for less than a week basically, but the intent the intent is there But who cares? Hey do Joey. I think here Go that way

If you see someone through a wall, and this is how apparently this has happened. People tell me you're talking to someone through a wall and you're hitting it off and it's really good. Whatever. That to me is just, if you're not attracted to them at all in any sort of way, that's just a friend. We have friends, but then you need to pivot. But

But then you need to pivot from the way you have been conversating with this person. Well, that's the other thing. That's what I'm saying. I wouldn't be doing that. That's what I'm saying, Joey. But I'm not going to tell someone. You're not talking to someone with the intent of being friends with them. You're talking to someone with the intent of your fucking uglies and their uglies becoming besties.

Big ol', big ol' this is. - Car crash, yeah, I understand. - You know what I'm saying? So you're not going in with the idea of I'm gonna be friends with this person. Maybe afterward you could say, listen, all honesty, our connection, although I felt something like it's just, we gotta pivot. - I don't have the fizz. - We got to pivot.

This way. Right. Because I don't have the fizz. The fizzy. Yeah, you know, and that's important. Otherwise, you're just like, what are we doing here? It is. And listen, I think it is admirable. And that can happen. I'm not saying that I'm fucking over walking out here Chris Hemsworth. I could walk out and be like, I'm good on all of that. That could definitely happen. You think someone walks out and sees you and doesn't go like, ka-ching. Ka-ching. Not for money, but...

Also, I guess. But like, they see you. If they walk out and see you, they're going to be like, yes, I'm going to make this work as best as I can. They walk out and they see fucking... Don't even point at yourself, you stupid bitch. All right. All right. If I'm not using me for a sec, because I am, according to Becca, the greatest looking man on the planet. Right. And I agree.

What? I made the same face as you. No, no, no, no, no. No, I'm going to wash over it. I'm going to step over it. Glaze over it. Whatever I'm glazing for the sake of this conversation. But let's say they walk out and they look like, hypothetically. Now I've got to offend someone. I know.

I'm like, where's he going with this? What are you fucking like? Just a not a good. Just ugly. Quasimodo. He's not real. Right. Yeah. Okay. Quasi. It looks like if there's like, oh my God. Hunchback with an eye. Hunchback. Tooths over there and there. Yeah. Just like. Tooth. Tooth.

tell me yeah i'd be like chill i'd be like i'm putting less effort into this just because of the attraction right a big part of of love is physicality also the way that you first meet somebody i think is like that dictates how you are going to talk to exactly yes correct or like obviously the setting and other stuff too but like let's not what if the next season of love is blind is actually blind people keith thought that

He was like, wait, how do they... But they say like, you cannot reveal. But then they go and they meet everyone, but then they do the face touch. Wait, I guess, well, I have no understanding of how that works. There's different levels of blindness, obviously. Okay, I'm talking full darkness. I'm talking full blind.

Okay. I'm talking just like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Midnight. No, like 3 a.m. You're driving home a point that you don't need to drive home. Out in the woods. It's kind of darkness, right? There's moonlight, but... If they do the hand thing, right? Of someone's face. Do you think if they were an artist, they could draw it? I am sure. I can almost guarantee there are people talented enough to do that. Well, I know. That's what I'm saying. Imagine being so good with your hands that you can actually like...

Put a mental image to that. Yeah. I mean, I obviously... I can't do anything. I don't know many, if any, people that are blind. So I'm sure there are people like that. I did know one kid that was going blind. He was on his way? Yeah. He had some, like, a...

Don't know if it's a disease or condition or you know, whatever it was just slowing it was literally Every day his eyesight was getting worse until the inevitability of him becoming fully blind, which is really sad glasses contacts, uh, yeah, I didn't wear glasses but like I don't know, you know, I didn't know like the level of like how bad it was like I wasn't like sitting there and go like How many now was it testing his vision?

You know? Yeah, that's fucked. But, yeah, I can't... I'm a weird... I did just watch, like, a full reality TV season of something, and it was Little Brawlers. It was the micro-wrestling show. Yeah. It was good. Nice. I liked it. Are they exploiting them? The thing that is so tough... It's reality TV, so it is exploiting people. It is, like... It is such, in my opinion, a double-edged sword, because, yes, I do... Like...

Jokes aside, full-on believe there should be content showing off different people of the world. People on the spectrum, people that are, you know, little people. The blind. The blind. Yes, honestly, people, whatever. But in my head, the cynic in me sees it as like,

They're making a profit off of this. So like it is exploitation in a way. Yeah. You know, like I know like a lot of people love the show Love on the Spectrum. Personally, I've not watched it. Not because I'm avoiding it. I just haven't gotten the chance. But like... Not an ally. I am an ally, bitch. But like, is it more good that we're getting exposure to seeing people on the spectrum living and like, you know, navigating the world of dating and friendship and romance? Yeah. Yes. But also...

Have we become such a fucking Aurora or Aurora Boris? Or a Boris whatever it is like snake eating its tail of like we're just fucking like profiting off of this and that's all we care about Yeah, I don't know what Aurora this is. It's or or a Boris is what it's called or whoever his name is We do have sponsors though before we get into that

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It's great, and they taste amazing, okay? The one I have now is watermelon. I just opened up the pack today, and I just got over a little Concord grape flavor, which is nice as well. So yeah, you can grab your Liquid IV hydration multiplier sugar-free in bulk, nationwide at Costco, or get 20% off your order when you go to liquidiv.com and use that code BASEMAN at checkout, okay? So go to liquidiv.com and use the code BASEMAN at checkout. 20% off, folks.

Huge deal. Liquidiv.com slash basement. Enjoy. And if you're thirsty for something else, guess what? I got the exact thing to quench your thirst. And no, it's not lemon-lime flavored. No, it's not fruit punch flavored. It's fucking Italian, Irish, Greek, Colombian, Egyptian flavored, baby. And you can check it out at...

patreon.com slash the basement yard. Listen up folks. Every week I tell you about this and quite frankly, I'm getting sick of it, but I'm not going to stop because Joey will literally fire me. If I do go to patreon.com slash the basement yard and sign up for our Patreon where you could support us directly. You really help us. It really means a lot. And you sign up for that first year. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance, baby. Absolutely. Then that second tier. Hmm.

What do I got? What can we do? I don't know. You still thirsty? You want to get doused by Joey? Well, guess what? Exclusive episodes every single Friday just for your eyes and the other people in that Patreon tier, but nonetheless for your eyes if you do it. So go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard, sign up today, thank us later, and we're thanking you for the 29,000 patrons.

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire. It is insane that we have gotten to this point. So we wanna keep climbing, we wanna keep going. We're in the top 10 for podcasts. We're in the top 10 for all things on Patreon. Let's keep going, babe. Why stop now? Number one, that's where we wanna be. And listen, it might be a little hard. Patreon, sometimes maybe you don't know how to spell the word.

TheBasementYard.com, babe. That's where you could go because you'll find links to our Patreon account. You'll find links to our merch and you could sign up for a newsletter where you could get emails and notifications about other stuff. It's really the hub, okay? If you ever wanted to see what it would feel like to be in a cabin with us, go to TheBasementYard.com and check it out. Peek around, okay? It might not be as cool as that like Retro's 90s Space Jam website that was on, you know, line for years, but it's still pretty cool to us. So TheBasementYard.com, check it out. Oh,

Um, we might have some stuff to tell you about soon. So go check it out, you dumb idiots. Go. Thank you. Love you. Joey? Jesus. Goodness gracious. Big balls of fire. Wait, not big balls. Great balls. The balls are great, Joey. Goodness gracious. Big fat balls of fire. No, no, no, no, no, no. I told you I wanted to tell you a story before we started recording about parenthood and me just being just like an emotional, soppy, wet mess. We were talking about wet...

This is the episode of wet. Yeah, wet at soaking wet. Oh my god. People just walked in Keith just walked in those so nice Oh Greg create Keith and Greg I saw I saw a meta you walk areas. There he is. There he goes But I became a fucking mess the other day. We're trying to wean Ruby off of the pacifier wean Oh, it's like heroin it is like drugs. Yeah, like his love sucking on shit. Oh

Nipples. Okay. And like pacifiers. Good recovery, honestly. That's what I was talking about. I hope so. But to like to wean her, because she loves her pacifier. She calls it her oaky. And to wean her off, we have to like, they say like cut them. Because if you cut like the sucky part. And then she can't suck it. Then it's like, it's uncomfortable for them. So like they don't like it.

Bro, so we kept trying. We kept trying. Like, we tell her, like, put Oki to sleep, you know, so she doesn't have it during the day. Oki is the pacifier. Oki is the pacifier. Why is it Oki? I think it was because, like, when she was, like, tough, we'd be like, okay, okay, okay, okay. And we'd give her the pacifier for, like, soothing. So in her head, she was like, Oki, Oki. Oh, okay. The kid's a genius. So am I. And we were, so she was like, no, I don't want to, no, I don't want to. So we were like, Ruby, if you don't put Oki to sleep, it's going to break.

That's a genius move by you. Make it her fault. Nice. If you keep using that, you're going to break it. So, and I swear to God. So she wasn't doing it. So Becca's like, you have to cut a little bit. So I'm like, all right. So I cut it. We cut it, whoever. And I give it to her. And she literally, bro, she puts it in her mouth and she's like,

She looked at me like she knows you I almost would rather her cry But like the heartbreak in this girl's face She was just just destroyed in that moment. I looked at Becca and I go I can't do this She do you did she knew you did it bro? I started like getting choked up because like I just ruined this girl's yeah, like the most important thing in her life Not her parents

It's her fucking oaky. It's her oaky. And then I'm like, I can't. And Becca looks at me. She's like, I'm like, I can't do this. And she's like, all right. So then I heard another thing where I was just like, okay, we need to tell her that like if you wrap it in plastic and plant it in like a pot with dirt, water it, the oaky fairy comes and in the morning it sprouts into a lollipop. That's an awesome idea too. Yeah.

Bro, you need to write all this down. Eventually, I'm going to need these. I mean, it's on the internet, along with other stuff I've said, too. So it's there forever. Well, that stuff we can ignore. She's sitting there doing this, and I start... She's like, bye-bye, Oki. Oh, my God. You made her plant her death. This is like a death. All right. You broke it. Now you plant it. Shoot it. Shoot it. Kill it.

Digging her own grave. Yeah. Put your back into it. I didn't even think like that. I didn't even think like that. So she's planting it. And there's like this Elmo thing that we had her watch where it's like him saying goodbye to the pacifier. And it's like a song. It's like, bye-bye, Patsy. Patsy, bye-bye. And I'm like, and she's going, bye-bye.

Okay, bro. I start ball. No, I couldn't I start Hysterically crying because it's like it's just like she thought she did something She is so and like I'm like this is like a growing up moment, too, bro I start crying and Becca puts her arm on me and like it's like it's alright, but don't let her see you cry Yeah, because then she's like then in her head. It's like cuz she's not crying at any point in this she's kind of like excited for the lollipop thing and

And I'm, bro, I'm bawling like a child. Yeah. Like basically wailing. Yeah. I calm down finally because we get her excited about it. And then we get her in bed. I'm putting Miles to sleep.

i'm doing like a like a like a science workbook with miles before you go to sleep becca's in ruby's bed with her science before sleep jesus listen man we're gonna get subscribed no breaks okay we're not paying for college so study now but i becca's singing to ruby or reading her a book or whatever and i you know they're 10 feet not even eight feet away so i can hear them and out of nowhere out of nowhere ruby goes i'm sorry i broke oaky

I told Becca, we put him to sleep. I got in bed and I was like, I can't talk about this. I like, this is so heartbreaking to me, but like, she's okay. Don't get me wrong. She's okay now, but like she got her lollipops. She woke up and boom, two lollipops right there. We planted two Okies. Yeah. But like, it was so hard for me. I saved them.

They're mine now. You saved the Okies? We saved the Okies because I can't. I mean, of course. I can't get rid of those. You know what sucks to think about right now? What? You're going to have to do it again. You're going to have to do that again. No, Maeve, honestly, she doesn't really like the pacifier. Like, she just doesn't care for it as much. Interesting. But, like, possible we might. But, like, we're thinking now, like, just stop Maeve on the pacifier. Yeah, yeah. Because she likes other things. Climbing. Dirt. Staying awake. Yeah. Being a general nuisance.

But bro, it fucking, like, I couldn't explain to you, like, in that moment, I know this is so ridiculous, but I felt like I ruined her life in that moment.

And it destroyed me for a couple hours. Well, no, no, no. You didn't ruin her life. She thinks she ruined her own life. Which is so much worse. Way worse, right? Yeah, you create. Am I bad? Am I a bad parent? No, you're just, it's like creative. But what you did was you made it like you're gonna win. Gaslit her. You did. I kind of.

But it works like a job. Oh, no. It works like an okie. Parenting is mostly gaslighting, if we're being honest. 100,000%. And, like, there are parents out there that are just like, this is absolutely, you'll fucking get it one day, bitch. Yeah, dude. You'll fucking see. It's like, if you keep using it, that's fine. It's going to break. Bro, I'm like, oh, you're not going to brush your teeth? No problem. Your teeth will literally fall out of your mouth.

Yeah, that's another one we did don't stand near the TV your eyes will cross well No, that one could probably fuck up your eyes to have a fucking LED light your eyes aren't gonna cross I mean well the other one was like don't make funny faces your face will get stuck that way doesn't happen doesn't unless I Don't even know unless your Quasimodo. Well, maybe that's what happened to him. Oh

Probably not. He was like making fun of another hunchback. Did he ever get to the origin of what happened to that guy? I think he was just a bad set of cards. Just dealt a bad hand. Did we ever look into his parents? Were they cousins? Yeah. Or like first siblings? Yeah, you know, like were they- Can't be second? Oh yeah, you can actually, nevermind. Steps, I guess. Steps, steps, steps. But like still. Yeah, there was a lot going on there. Yeah.

I made it through. That is tough. That is a tough one. You'll see it. Bro, I'm just like an emotional wreck lately. I mean, I'm a full bitch and that's well documented. Well, don't say bitch because that insinuates that feeling these emotions puts you at a lesser than value than other people. We're a good...

Upstanding men that are in touch with our emotions. I'm cool with being a bitch though. All right Well, i'm taking i'm taking the word bitch back. Oh, you know what i'm saying? It was never for you. I'm a bitch never for you, by the way Yeah, no, yeah I mean classic white man here just be like, you know what? Give me this

No, I mean, this is mine now. It's not just for women. You can call a dude a bitch. Yeah, but like... But you're saying he's a woman. Yeah, exactly. It's really derogatory for women, you know. Yeah, to be a bitch. Yeah, that's kind of like... And also, what's with the female dog thing? What is that? Yeah, why... Do you remember... Female dogs, bitches? I've never heard anyone say that. Bro, you know how hype I would get if someone was just like, this is my dog, you know, this is my dog's, you know...

Give me like a Jesse, a gender neutral name. And it's like, oh, boy or girl. It's like full on bitch. Yeah. I'd be so hype. Bitch. I'd be really, really hype. Yeah. I don't know. That's a weird thing. I've never even like heard anyone talk like that. You know how like...

Like the original terminology for gay just meant like joyful and happy and stuff like that Yeah, and like how there's all these like songs from like the 40s and 50s where they're just like, you know Like, uh, we're merry and gay. Yeah. Yeah, like do you think there's any media where people were just using bitches just female dogs? I don't think so. That's the thing. I don't think that merry and gay I was listening to being gay is probably less gay than being merry. You know what I mean?

like when someone's merry it's like okay yeah like you're too you're too excited you know what i'm saying merry yeah i think of like an old milkmaid when i hear that i do too yeah like yeah like fucking like in like a like i'll be merry like what like with a like a legit feather duster yes you know a petticoat on or something like that which i don't even really know what that is to be honest petticoat yeah you know what a petticoat is

It's like an undercoat. It's like an underdress, honestly. Oh, I didn't know that. It's like a dress you put on before you put your dress on. Aren't those like brassieres? Those are bras. But like what are the ones that they would like tie in the back? Corsets. Corsets, that's right. Yeah. I think maybe a petticoat would be like... Bro, do you ever see what happens to like women's organs when they fucking put those things on? Very scary shit. Wild. It's almost as if...

The standards of beauty for women are just insane and always have been. It's like, back then it was like, you're very pretty, but we would like it if your waist was like that. If it was just this big. We would like it.

If we made your stomach look like a pencil. What kind of poops are you taking? If you're squeezing all of your intestines? None, because they're fucking blocked. That's why they're backing up. Yeah. They'd probably die from sepsis. Poor women, man. They also probably weren't eating because of these beauty standards and stuff, too. Also not allowed to eat because you were bad today. Yeah, exactly.

What did you say? Where's my martini? All right. Fucking no food for a week. Martini? I was way back. I was thinking ale and wine. Oh, you're talking like the 1700s? Yeah, I'm talking, yeah. I mean, they had martinis back then, no? No. No? Okay. What have you seen, like a picture or a video? The old Shaken Unstern. Someone's got like an olive in their fucking drink. Yeah, it was like grog. What the fuck is grog, by the way?

Don't know what you're saying. Grog and gruel? Gruel is like a shit soup. It's like a soup made out of swamp water or something. Grog. Grog? What is grog? I think that's a word you made up. Oh, it's a cocktail. Grog? Yeah. Like, that's a drink? Um, it would... So...

Why did pirates... So grog here... Oh, pirates. The Royal Navy's grog recipe includes water, dark rum, lemon juice, and cinnamon. That doesn't sound bad. That doesn't sound that bad at all. Wait, that sounds like a... Wait, what was it again? Water. Yeah. Dark rum. Yeah. Lemon juice and cinnamon. Doesn't sound like anything. That's basically a hot toddy, except hot toddies have whiskey instead of rum. Whiskey. Well, no. Whiskey is tea. Hot toddy. Hot toddy is whiskey and tea.

No, if you look it up, it's not. Oh. People put tea in hot toddies, but like it's not in like- How do you spell toddy? T-O-D-D-Y. Hot toddy cocktail. It'll say whiskey, lemon, there's honey in it. Hot whiskey in Ireland and occasionally- It's like hot water. Cough syrup in the southern United States. Cough syrup. That's what it says here. What fucking idiots we all are forever. Jesus Christ. To make a hot toddy, you'll need bourbon, honey, lemon, cinnamon sticks, star anise, and- Oh, wow. I honestly thought it was just whiskey and tea. I thought it was tea also. Oh, okay.

That actually sounds pretty good. The only reason why I know that is because I was going to make one the other day because Greg was coming over and he's like, I want a hot toddy. And I was like, I don't have star fucking whatever this shit is. Star anise? Yeah, it's not that. What is that? It literally looks like a star. No, I know, but what is it? It kind of has a bit of a licorice-y taste. What is it like? It's like an herb. Like a spice, but you keep it in the shape of a star.

Is that natural? Yeah, that's how it comes. Really? Yeah. So I walk around in nature and I'll see a star? Well, anise is like, I think, like a separate plant. But the star anise is like the pod that holds the seeds. Interesting. Yeah. So anise is a plant. The seeds are anise, but that's what it looks like. It literally looks like a star with a butthole.

A star with a butthole. With that being said, we do have more sponsors for today. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy, okay? If you want to talk to a therapist in just under 48 hours, you can do so via BetterHelp, okay? I've been in therapy for a couple of years now. Almost, I think, three years now. Definitely three years now that I think about it. And I think it's amazing. I think that everyone should be in it. I think it's very helpful. Yeah.

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And I also want to talk about, before we get out of here, you brought up something about the Kellogg CEO said that people should have cereal for dinner, which is criminal. Yeah, so let me pull it up here, babe, and get rid of the whole... By the way, pirates were drinking grog. They were the ones that invented it, so I was right. It is an old thing. Good for them, pirates, man. Yeah, pirates, pirates. So, yes, the CEO of Kellogg, Gary...

I believe this is his name. What a name, dude. Multimillionaire chief executive officer of the U.S. food processing giant Kellogg's has drawn scorn from some quarters after recently suggesting that families with strained finances could cope by eating cereal for dinner.

You shouldn't do that. The cereal category has always been quite affordable, and it tends to be a great destination when consumers are under pressure. If you think about the cost of cereal for a family versus what they might otherwise do, that's going to be much more affordable. First of all, cereal is not that fucking affordable. Yeah. Boxes of cereal are like fucking $12. They've gone up like 20% in the last five years or some shit. Dude, you go to the store, you see a box of fucking... And also, family size. Yeah.

What? A family of mouse? Mice? Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? When you're... We grew up as children of the 90s. Do you understand the cereals that we had? If there is a box of family-sized Frosted Flakes... It better be the size of the aisle. Three bowls, babe. That's all that's lasting with me. Yeah. If that. It's just not that much, but also, like, how tone-deaf do you need to be to just be like, times are tough, eat my stuff. Yeah. Not like we're going to make it more affordable, just like...

Here's a bowl of red dye number 40. Yeah, why would you think? There goes the Kellogg's bowl. Yeah, Kellogg's ain't got a lot of that. It's totally fine. Post is still on the table. Post is still, there's a possibility with Post. Is that different? Yeah, Post is different. Kellogg's versus Post. Kellogg's got some stuff, though. I got them. I got them if you want to know. He has a suggestion of which ones to eat? No, no, no, but I could do Kellogg's versus Post right now. Kellogg's, though, like, bro, come on. I mean, the sugar content in here, it's all added sugar.

And like Frank said, red dye, number whatever the fuck it is. They also got like the square ones too. Like they have cornflakes. You're better off eating your own shoes at that point. You probably maybe are. You could be eating a shoe that fell into the machine. Personally, I will stand by Raisin Bran as I do enjoy Raisin Bran. But if I'm going to the cereal aisle and you're saying pick five...

Not going to be. Not in my top five. Not in my top five. So I wanted to draw this up because besides the fact that it is just an asinine thing to say. It is. You know, just like, hey, maybe major corporations should stop using the, you know, inflation when they're actually controlling the prices of things. You know, maybe that's something that we could do. But nonetheless, here are what I would say are the top seven heavy hitters for Kellogg's. And you tell me.

It's a yes for all of them, but go ahead. Okay. Raisin Bran. Disgusting. Okay, see? Then maybe you should have fucking waited until I spoke. That's not up there. Tell me if these are up there for... No, these are the top seven. Oh. Raisin Bran. Fruit Loops. Slapping them. Apple Jacks. Burying them in the sand. A lot of... Not enough respect for Apple Jacks. Yeah. Corn Pops. Like them and like they're okay though. Oh!

You love them? I love cornies. Remember when they used to come in like- It's corny for corny. Remember when they came in like that like silver bag? Remember, they still do now. No, they do not. Really? They come in clear bags now. Why? Like silver radioactive bag. Yeah, what was that? What the hell was that? Yeah, like- What the hell was even that? What the hell is even that? Frosted Flakes. Yo-

A very heavy hitter. Very heavy. Frosted mini wheats. Hit or miss. I like them. Box by box. You have to judge because you get certain boxes that are fucking frosted, babe. Dude, sometimes I would pour it in and there'd be two stuck together, like one log. And I'm like... And they're just like... And it's just like a fucking Mount Everest weight top on it. Yeah, it's a snowstorm on it. Rice Krispies. Very good. All right. Better as a treat than a cereal. Definitely. Know what I'm saying? Know what I'm saying? But now we got Post...

Listen to these heavy hitters. Oh, we're doing a rivalry here. Yeah. Yeah, might as well right? It's fun. God you're like an addict. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I'm gonna just name some posts for you. Okay, honeycombs huge. Yeah, you want to honestly one of the better milks golden grams wild Don't I don't care. I like old girls. Don't you don't like old grams. Don't care for him. Really? Oh

Don't care. I like golden grams and I like what's the other shit golden smacks or smack? What is it called? Honey smack honey smacks Honey smacks. Yeah Uh, you've talking about liking this for some reason don't understand cookie crisp good What definitely not I mean not a cereal but definitely like a good tasting thing fruity and cocoa pebbles bananas Two of uh in my top five honestly, yeah

Honeycomb. I already said Honeycomb. CTC. I mean, that's a goat right there. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the goat. I would say so. And then there's other ones in there. Lucky Charms, Cap'n Crunch, you know, whatever. Lucky Charms is fucking ass, bro. Any of those you would have for dinner? Have you had cereal for dinner? Yeah. Yeah, me too. But like as in... Yeah. But not like as a... Titans are tough. Like, hey, maybe just like...

Lower prices on like food to and like stop monopolizing the fact that like people need to feed their families, but you know Yeah, there's definitely more more like healthier and probably affordable ways to feed your family and not a fucking $14 box of your bullshit cereal dude Costco it's like five dollars for a rotisserie chicken. That's a way better deal. Yeah, I mean yes, you need a Costco membership, which sure I

What is with Costco? Don't you dare talk shit about Costco. I like Costco, but what are we doing? This isn't a speakeasy. Let us come in, Costco. Let us in. Why do we need to have a fucking membership? You know what? I'm all about it now. If these wholesale places start putting just like a fucking like riveted message.

metal door on the front with a sliding thing where you try to bust a passport. It's like an old German man. Passport. Yeah, like, why are we doing this? I agree. And bro, my fucking optometrist is in a Costco. What? So I can't go. Wait, wait, wait. You're,

Eye doctors in a Costco? Well, that's where I would get my contacts. So unbelievably stupid of you. They wholesale. It's cheap. Very stupid of you. No, it's not stupid. I mean, I could go other places, but that's the place I was going to. You have premium insurance, Joey. Just go literally anywhere else. Well, I'm saying... Oh, they sell it wholesale. You're really... Money been tight, Joey? Right.

It's a financially smart decision to buy things that are on wholesale anyway, but I have to call my mommy up and be like, Mommy, take me to Costco. Mommy, take me to Costco. Because she's got the thing. Oh, your mom loves that, though. Don't change because your mom is going to be very upset because she'll miss out on her Costco dates when her diet dude will dump it in his pants.

I hate that shit though. They have a bouncer, bro. They have a bouncer. They do. And it's always like just like the smallest, frailest old man possible. Yeah, like I could knock this woman out and just walk in here and buy five bags of fucking cereal for two bucks. I said man. You said woman. Just want to put that out there. Every time I've went, it's a woman. Oh, okay. Yeah. Or they have a 97-year-old. Can I actually?

Can I ask a question? Here we go. When you're walking out of fucking Costco, there's a 97-year-old man that looks at your receipt and then looks at your card like, what are you, taking a roll call?

How would you know? I bought 400 items here. I just spit, by the way. I just spit. But they're looking for big ticket items because they can manage to lose certain, you know, like they don't give a fuck if you're running out with a box of cereal, but if you're hiding like fucking like TVs and Chromebooks and stuff underneath, that I understand. And then he gives you that mark and I'm like,

It is a wild, like all these wholesale, Costco, BJ's, Sam's Club, just insane. Crazy places. Just absolutely insane. I will say this though. I like them. I like them. I love them. I love them. Especially BJ's because they have the wholesale size of Velveeta mac and cheese. Velveeta is unbelievable. It's the pinnacle of mac and cheese that is going to kill you. Yeah. And then they have wholesale Bush's baked beans.

How many fucking beans do you need? Beans come in like cans, which is fine. What are you getting? Are you getting like the full can? No, no, no, no. It's like a box of like 12 cans. Like you would buy like soda? Yeah. You'd buy that much beans? Bro, big beans. Where do you put all the beans? Eat them beans, bro. Eat them beans? Eat beans just like beans. Do you open and eat out of the can? Big beans. I'm not... What am I, a prospector? No, I fucking...

During the summer. I don't know, dude. You fucking eat things weird. Some stuff. Fair. I'll give you that one. But don't disrespect me. I would, though. I would 100% crack open. It's kind of on my bucket list. Just like crack open like a thing of beans just with like a metal spoon that's not even a spoon, you know? Yeah, I was going to say wood. It's like made of wood.

Yeah, I'll do that. But I would only do it in the forest. Just like a scoopable bark, you know, just like a piece of bark. Like I would do that 100%. But in the woods, in the woods. I want a hot dog over an open flame fire so bad. So bad. Back to hot dog talk. Welcome back. And a can of beans. And a can of beans. And dip the hot dog in the beans? Yes. Now we're getting insane. No? Probably not. Okay.

What is beans? Like, with the beans. What's the... Oh, it's like pork fat and like... Like baked beans, you know? Not just like black beans. Yeah, it's like pork fat. Also, the shit that's in beans. Like a bean fucking can? Yeah.

pork fat and like syrup no no oh yeah and like molasses maybe the brown ones yeah i know it's like pork fat and stuff like that okay but i'm saying they're very bad for you let's be very clear about beans like bush's baked beans yeah yeah i as heartbreaking as it is bush you might be out of this the baked beans not the president you're still in i guess how is he's not in he's been out you never know maybe he wants to sponsor the show george w bush

Maybe George Bush. We want to offend George Bush. He wants to put up some of his doodles behind us. You know, he wants to put up some of his drawings behind us and shit. You never know. George Bush. We threw Kellogg's under the fucking bus, but George Bush. He's got to stay on his good side. You never know with these presidents. It's true. But...

You know yeah not good for you the beans yeah, it's just like pork fat and spice I would like to eat I would like to you know we should be around a campfire at some point this year I hope so yeah I hope so and then we just bring just raw book baked bean Like cans and like we have to find something to eat it with yeah, yeah, that would be fun. Yeah, what are we doing? I guess you guys like this though, right?

You guys, you tell us. I don't know. Sometimes romanticizing like foods you haven't had in a long time is like one of my favorite things. Bro, do you know what I did after one of the episodes last week? We talked so much about hot dogs, which is literally a weekly occurrence. I dug through my freezer, found pigs in a blanket and put and made them and ate a whole plate.

basically by myself, but I opened up a fresh thing of, oh, Becca got like, like garlic, roasted garlic kraut. I literally held it, put kraut on it and ketchup and ate it like that. It's good. Holy peas. What did you say? Holy penis? Peas. I said peas. Oh, holy peas. It was very good. I don't like, I don't, I'm, I'm cool with peas. I don't mind peas. I like peas. Peas are cool. Peas are, peas are nice. Peas are fine. What do you hate? What do you hate? Mustard.

No, no, no. Like a vegetable or something. Really not much. No? I don't know if I hate it. Overly cooked eggplant could shut the fuck up though. That's a good one. Because it's just like you're doing too much. You're dancing around in my mouth. Get out of there. I don't like when eggplant comes in big slices like this and it's like in a sandwich because I always drag it out. But also like

Shut the fuck up eggplant. Cut it up. Just like also just shut up. You're too big. But like the skin on them, like you can't like bite. So like I'll bite an eggplant, like grilled eggplant or something and I'll take the whole thing because the skin is just like fucking holding down the fork. Yeah, yeah. Shut up. I don't like eggplants either. That's a good call. I do like it in like moussaka though.

You ever had like- What's up? Or like eggplant parm, basically. Oh, yeah. That's good. What did you say? Moussaka is like the Greek eggplant parm. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've had the eggplant parm. That's good. But like people that are just like, oh, I'm having an eggplant- That's the worst parm, though. Chicken, chicken, chicken. Chicken parm. Chicken parm is number one. Then veal parm. And then eggplant parm. But you know what's the best? You know where eggplant reigns supreme? Rollatini.

Eggplant rollatini? Yeah, you're doing right. No, no, no. It's okay. No, eggplant rollatini is incredible. Pinwheels. Pepperoni pinwheels. Yeah. Now we're just... Now I'm just hungry. I am very hungry. Pinwheels. I am full of tritium. I do like a pinwheel, a spinach, and

And cheese pit? Yeah, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or just the pepperoni pit. How hungry are you right now? I could eat this desk. Starving. And I would need another desk. Full starving. Yeah. The only thing I have in my car is, you know, dry... Bottles of piss and what else? No, no, no, no. Yeah. Dried mango and pistachios and apples. Pistachios, for sure. Pistachios, yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's go. We got dope. What are you gonna do? Hey, folks, thank you so much for hanging, banging, and...

Chillin with us. We really appreciate it You can find Joe at Joe Santagato across all forms of social media and also check out everything we got going on here at Santagato Studios OPL, Santagato Studios, The Joe Show. It's overall a good old fun old time Okay, we're merry and gay here and then you can go check out me at the Frank Alvarez and all forms of social media except for Twitter Which for some reason that idiot Elon Musk won't let me get that handle and now it's @FAlvarez8085

Okay, so go check it out. Check out the basement yard are all forms of social media. Check out the patreon Thank you to our patrons. I'm gonna throw this back over to my co-host the one the only Joe Santagato Joe sign off See you later guys announcements are coming for the tour very soon Maybe we maybe we could have announced it in this episode because we do like the week ahead So it's like two weeks from now, so they'll probably be out by now, but go to the basement yard calm and

They'll be there. Go and come to a show. All right. Except maybe, I don't know. We'll see. We just said an argument. We got to get them back and then, yeah. All right. That is all. See you guys next time. See you. See you.