Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going, Chief? Chief? I know, I know. I don't think you can say that, Joey. I know. I think, is Chief becoming like a word that we take, that they take back? Who? The First Nation, Indigenous population, Native American. I'm not even sure what- You used all of the terms. I just wanted a blanket. Right. Probably shouldn't use that term. Blanket? Well, yeah, well. Yeah, no, blankets were not-
Yeah. They're not big, big blanket fans anymore. Um, I am doing well as this is recording. It's opening day for baseball. So daddy's at fucking half cock. Yeah. Well, whatever that begins to mean. I'm at, well, half mast, full mast, half, half mast. Well, that's when someone dies. My dick isn't dead. What's full mass. Balls are dead. Your balls are fucking gone. Yeah. Uh,
Full mass is like when they fly the flag regular. When someone dies, they do half mass. Half mass. Which is a... You know, flag traditions. I don't know them. This is when we were built as a nation off of like we give our messaging through flags. And I think we've come back to that. We probably need to pull back a little bit. Yeah. Just saying. Just saying. Listen, if you're watching this, the tour is out and about. Okay.
Okay, we have 14, 15 shows, something like that. You know what's crazy? Across the country. You know what's crazy? Is that people, in the episode that we recorded where we listed the shows and the dates and the theaters and all that, it was like further into the episode. Yeah. So if people watch this episode first, they'll know.
Sooner. Yeah, yeah, probably. But if you go to TheBasementYard.com right now, you will see all the tour dates probably coming to a city near you. Definitely pop out, get some tickets. Again, that is TheBasementYard.com. You need the code BASEMENT, I think, still. Pre-sale code. Well, by the time this is available to the general public, it'll be general sale. General sale. But if you're seeing this as a patron, you will get...
the pre-sale code basement to use as, you know, to get some tickets, to get in your fucking greasy little grimy grubs all over those little baby boy ticket. Okay. Be nice. Uh, but yeah, go to the basement yard.com right now. Go to, uh,
Just go get some tickets. We want to see you guys out there. Just look around. That's all you got to do. I'm very excited. Baseball. Basement boys. Yeah. The start. This is the spring training of dog sucking season. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You said you're having a hot dog tonight? I'm having a couple, Joey. Yeah. Let's put it like this. We got a Costco size order of hot dogs. Did you? We're having two extra people over. And you're going to make 30 hot dogs. I'm going to make... And then you're going to go...
We can't throw these out. Well, you're gonna eat 30 hot dogs. Hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me out. So Costco by us sells the specialty dogs that we like. Okay. What is that? They're like deli dogs. They're not just like regular, like there's no, no issue here with, you know, Nathan's or, or Subret or, you know, whoever, or ballpark Frank's, but there's like a specialty dog by us that we've found. Why is it specialty? Because they're fat as shit.
And they fucking rip. Oh, they look like my dad's hands? Yeah. You know what? Honestly, yeah. Yeah. But when you cook them, they get fucking hot and juicy, so they rip. Uh-huh.
Like a veiny fucking piece of steel. You know what I'm saying? Now you've lost me. But yeah, I know I was there for a little bit. I just like when they slap you. Oh, yeah. No, when you find a good slappy hot dog. So we got it. We got enough. And then whatever we don't use, we'll freeze. Keep them for the season. But now opening day of baseball is spring training for dog sucking season. And as you know, spring training lasts a little while as we get close to Memorial Day weekend. That's when we're going full fucking swing. Full throttle. Full throttle into the dogs.
Yeah. And cholesterol. Right. But, you know, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? You've got to live your life also, you know? So also got some kraut. Good old classic German kraut is coming through. Okay. And baked beans, you know? Just got to start. Frank's fucking excited. Are you more excited for the hot dogs or for the baseball? Yes. Got it. Also, I just want to say we're almost five minutes into this episode and you haven't even brought up my sweater, dude.
Well, I didn't want to. It's cool. That's the word we're going with? It's warm. You look like just like a... Don't. What? I was going to say you look like a rejected fruit roll-up. First of all, I look like the good fruit roll-up. The tie-dye one? Yeah. The one that has tattoos and you just be like... No, that was the... Oh, yeah, fruit roll-up. I was thinking fruit by the foot.
But yeah, the fruit roll-up that like you fucking stretch out like it's a dental dam. Yeah, yeah. You put it on your tongue. A dental dam. And then you have a tattoo of like a fucking, what, like a snail or something. Maybe you know this. I probably do. Probably not. But dental dams. Yes. It's not actually like a female condom for like sex, right? No.
It's just for like licking vagina. So I recently heard this. I was talking with some friends about this. We have incredible dinner conversations, my friends and I. And apparently it started as like for dental, for tooth work. I've had one. But it became like a... A pussy. Yeah, it became vagina stuff. It became a pussy tarp. Yeah, I've often told the story. I used it as a drain blocker.
Oh, yeah, I remember that. In my bathtub? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I didn't know what it was, and I just saw a sheet of rubber, and I was just like, oh, they sell... It was, like, wrapped. I used to try to wrap my mind around, like, do you put it in, or are you, like... No, you, like, fucking, like... Yeah, you, like, stretch it over like a tarp. And then you just, like... Yeah, I guess. You do that. But there's other ones that I've seen. Which, like, that doesn't, to me... I understand for the safe sex of everything, which...
Practice safe sex. Practice it. But like, that sounds so whack, dude. If I was getting my shit ate and someone fucking rolled out a carpet for me, I'd be pissed, dude. I don't want that.
They're pulling rubber out of a bag like they're a fucking plumber. Yeah. I don't want this shit. Yeah, that'd be very str- I mean, well, now you're saying practice safe sex and then you're completely shitting on contraceptives. So. If someone pulled out a rubber, I'd be like, what the fuck? I'm just- You think if you were a girl, you'd be like, yo, just dog my shit raw. Say hell yeah! No, no, no, no, no. You were about to say hell yeah. I saw it in your fucking face. I swear to God, I wasn't gonna say it. You went-
I was gonna say, how is this question being asked? Do you think so? You think you'd be like, yo, just fucking throw that shit and let's go crazy? No, no, no. I don't think so. You don't think you would like the dog? I'd be afraid. Dicks are fucking weapons of mass destruction. You think I want that shit anywhere around my fucking boy pussy? Are you afraid? No, in this situation, you have a real vagina. Oh, so like alternate reality where I have a legit vagina. You have a vagina, yeah. Yeah. And then it's like, just fucking bang my shit to hell.
Or, or, or like, and also like, are you more afraid of like studs or you're more afraid of pregnancy babies?
Oh, I mean, both are non-ideal. I think that they can both in their individual ways change your lives forever. Yeah. I was so afraid of STDs. Not that I'm not now, but like... I would say... Oh, man. I was so afraid of STDs when I was younger, dude. I don't know. That's a really, really tough question because men just suck, you know? And they're just like real assholes and pieces of shit. And they're walking around with just like a fucking...
Not literally, but just like a figurative nuclear weapon in their pants. What do you do? Why? Why are you saying that? Because like, I'd be more afraid to be a woman accepting a wiener. Oh yeah. Dicks are insane. I honestly think that like revealing a dick is the worst part of sex. I would be so like, if you're a woman and it's like, I gotta, I don't even know what this thing is. Just dog shit. Huh? Dicks are dog shit.
But like that part as a woman is probably the most rough part. Seeing it just like I'm about to in
I'll embark on a journey and I don't even know what's happening. Yeah. I don't know what the car looks like. I don't know. Exactly. Yo, exactly. And they're so different. You're asking me to buy a vehicle without getting an idea what the interior looks like? No car facts. And also, like, vaginas of like, yeah, of course, they can like look a little different sometimes. But at the end of the day, it's the vagina. It does the job, you know? It is an absolutely, like, it does its thing. It works. And it's internal. Yeah.
Yeah. What the hell? This thing is like outside. Some are long. Some are short. Well, that's why the porn industry is shamed vagina. Someone like this and someone like this. Honestly, that sweater is giving vagina energy. You have a lippy sweater.
Have you seen a vagina? I don't know. I have, yeah. This looks like a vagina? I'm just saying, like, it could give vagina energy, you know? And I'm not saying, like, a feminine energy. I'm just saying, like, there's something vagina-like about that sweater, and I can't put my finger on it, and that's not a bad thing. Okay. Well, I think you're the only person on Earth that will think that. But, yeah, I don't know. I just—I was just asking a question. I hate how you're saying, bang my shit to hell. What?
That's such a wild thing to say. Has anyone ever told you, don't put the condom on? Yeah. No one's ever said that to me. Yeah, they have. I don't know if I should be offended by that. No one's like, keep it on. Ew, ew, ew, keep it on. I also would just be like, fucking absolutely not. I'm a scared little boy. I mean, I'm terrified. I'm a terrified little baby boy. I'm a terrified little girl. In that moment, I'm just a little like, you know.
Please, please don't. If you're going to condom sex, I'm still like pulling out. Oh, yeah. You have to take all precautions. I mean, you drive slow through a work zone. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. And when that bus stop stop sign comes out, you come to a halt. Well, that's a law. Yeah. That's a law. Right. That you're supposed to do. I know. Your extra precautions is what you're saying. Taking the appropriate precaution is not extra. I stop a block back. Oh, okay.
Yeah, no, I can't do any of that. That's terrifying. I think about shit too much. I'm up all night. I'm like, no, I know this is happening to me now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start planning for a lot. You start like naming children and stuff like that. I don't know if you do this too. Uh-oh. But whenever I hear about someone like being, even being sick, like someone's like, oh, they threw up. I then like immediately get sick. No, no, no. I think that I'm going to get whatever they have.
I mean, have you seen the... Is it like irrational? No, completely irrational. Oh. Like I just hear about... Someone's like, oh, they had like... You're a bit of a hypochondriac. We've noticed this throughout several stories that you've told where like you just woke up one day and you were like, that's it, I got HIV.
I don't know, but I just... It's alright, I freaked out a little bit on the plane back from South by Southwest. I freaked out a little, a tiny tad. Why? Because I had like gotten like, I scratched my finger on like, you know like that like threaded cable? And like it could fray sometimes and it's like the like frayed like metal cables. Yeah. It was holding the toilet paper in the toilet paper roll in the bathroom of the airplane. And it like scratched my finger. I was like, oh.
Oh my god. And then the rest of the flight, I was like, can I get some Purell wipes or something? I was fucking scrubbing the fingerprint off of my finger. I'm obviously completely fine, but I was a little freaked out. Yeah. If I got bit by a dog, dude, forget about it. Well, as a precaution, you should just go anyways. What happens if I get rabies? You die.
Really? If you don't get it. So you, when you get raped, when you get attacked or scratched, bitten by an animal, you have to get, there's a shot that you have to get. If you do not get that shot and you experience symptoms of rabies, they are fatal.
oh they are like a hundred percent if not like 99.8 or some percent fatal i've never been bitten i've never been rabied i've never been i've never been rabied either but i've come i used to be afraid of rabies too first of all yeah there's nothing to be afraid of they're animals i thought that all animals had rabies no i thought it was just like a rabies it was for animals so like when animals bit me when i was younger which that didn't happen all the time i don't know i'm saying that yeah but like anytime i was like interacting with an animal like i felt like
Worms had rabies and shit. I don't think worms can carry rabies, you idiot. I don't think they can bite you either. There are worms that can bite you. Have you ever seen a bloodworm? Where am I going to see a bloodworm, dude? I'm talking about fucking ones that exist in my mom's dirt. Bloodworms exist in the world, Joey. Have you ever seen them? Look up a bloodworm. Look it up. Just look it up. Just look it up. Is it bloody? It's going to fuck you up. I'll tell you this. It's got copper teeth.
Look it up. This thing is got- Colored or like it's made of pennies? It's made of pennies. This thing has got grills like Nelly. What- what the fuck is that? I told you, brother. Ew. This dude's just like, "Halt." EW! Yep, told ya. This looks like the tip of a penis with teeth. Oh, I feel like I've looked at this before. What do you have? What do you have on the tip of your dick? Bro, this doesn't look like the tip of a penis. Hold on. Come on. Honestly, he's kind of right. Yeah, it looks like the tip of a penis. That's a little cock-like. But this one has like teeth on it, which is kind of insane. Yo, worms?
Wild. I'm going to say no. Yeah, take the worms. Take the worms. I'd like to sign a petition to get rid of worms. Yeah, that would be nice. But we were so... Growing up at the lake house, we were always... It was like fucking emphasized. Like if you see a raccoon or a skunk during the day, you stay as far away as you can because those are traditionally nocturnal animals.
And if you see them out during the day, they're rabid because like they're, they're like fucking idiots when they're rabid. They're like, I don't know. Day is night, night is day. Eat this drink and fucking whatever. Really? Yeah.
And then did you confirm that as an adult or is that just like a pretty no, no, no. I'm pretty sure that's like a known thing. It's like they're all fucked up. But then apparently, do you remember the episode of The Office where what's her name? Meredith got hit by Michael's car and they find out that she also got bit by a bat. So like she had like a possibly had rabies. Yeah. And it's like they're afraid of water. That's true.
I've seen like clips of people that have like begun to succumb to the, you know, fucking symptoms of rabies and like they can't drink water. Their body literally is like and like their throat closes and shit. Yeah, they're afraid of water apparently.
It's wild stuff. Welcome back to the rabies yard. I had no idea of any of that. Bro, rabies. I thought it was just like you foam with the mouth thing. They foam with the mouth. They're fucking like, it's like mad cow disease. They're all nuts. Remember when mad cow disease was a big thing? Yeah, dude. I fucking gave up burgers for like a whole summer. Dude, 2006 was a wild time. That was 06? It was around then. It was around then. Okay.
Around then. Remember West Nile? They would fly the fucking planes over and drop all the fucking... Bro, I remember as a kid... Stay inside! Yeah, they were like, stay inside and we'd be watching the fucking chemtrails. And we were like, oh shit. Yeah, they're like, we're going to drop a bunch of chemicals on top of you guys. You know, I knew a girl that had contracted cerebral malaria from a mosquito bite. She had done missions during the summer in Uganda and some other African countries. She wasn't taking the pills? No.
I don't know what medication she was taking, but it was a girl that I had worked with at college. And we had gotten a call to her room, myself and other staff members. And they were like,
She's having a seizure. Holy shit. And we're like, what? And we go in there and she's seizing on her bed. Terrifying. Bro, it was nuts. I felt so fucking bad for this poor girl. And like our other staff member who is a female had to like lay her on her side and like get her like dressed and shit like that. And she had to go to the hospital. She had cerebral malaria. That's fucking wild. Is she okay? Yeah.
I don't know where she is today. I have not gotten confirmation that she's not okay. So yeah, I hope she is. Yeah, but yeah, wild. Yeah, malaria is a crazy one. Cerebral. That's brain, brother. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that is terrifying. Don't have a seizure in front of me, please. I've also had someone else at Target have a seizure in front of me. Bro, I had a dream that you and I robbed a Target. That's fire. Do we have guns? We didn't have guns. What did we have?
Any weapons? We just went in and we were just like shoplifters. And then afterward, you were mad at me because I got us into legal trouble. Like we got caught and you were mad at me for it. And who caught us? Edie Falco. Was she like working there or she was Edie Falco? She was working there and she was Edie Falco. Things apparently were not going well for Miss Falco. Jesus. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. She has a very successful job. She's like, Joey! Yeah. She basically, she caught us. She's like, I gotcha!
And you got mad at me because you were like, I just spoke to my lawyer and he says we're probably going to do time. And I was just like, dude, this is a dream. And you were like, no, it's not. And then I woke up. Oh, so you were trying to like. I was trying to convince you this is just a playful dream. So you were trying to gaslight me, even though it was a dream. You were trying to gaslight me. No, no, no. Gaslighting is not the answer. I was trying to bring you. I was trying to show you the way. No, no, no. You weren't aware that it was a dream. I was. That's why I said it's a dream. I was like, dude, it's just a dream. Let's have fun. Let's rob some targets and shit.
We didn't even have weapons, though. Shoplifting isn't robbing. I mean, I know that it is, but like... It is by definition what... I know that, but like shoplifting is just like, whoa, I'm going to take a t-shirt. But like robbing is like, give me all your goddamn... For someone that worked in that industry, shoplifting is more than just, hey, I'm going to take a t-shirt. It's, hey, I'm going to bring fucking like storage bins in a cart and just wipe entire aisles down and run out the back door. How much money could you possibly make from that? Target's cheap.
No, it's not even... It depends on what you're taking. So a big thing that was stolen from Target when I was there, and I'm sure it's still a thing now, was fucking baby formula. Because that shit is not cheap. Cornering the market of baby formula. And then... That's a good rob there, I'll be honest. It's like $50 for like a fucking two-week tub. And then you have to... They sell it to like...
Bodegas or delis or just like secondhand people so it's all profit. Yeah, even if they sell it for 35 bucks You know, that's $35 that they got for zero. Yeah wild times wild times. We should start robbing No, you ever go through a phase where you're like, I'm gonna start selling drugs. I
With that sweatshirt, I believe you're in it, but I have not. You never thought for a second, maybe we should move a brick for just one. No. You've never thought that? Literally no. I remember sitting in a Dunkin' Donuts and thinking that.
Where has your life gone? Like what has happened to you during your 32 years of existence? I'm pretty sure I was 16 years old and I was like maybe if we just- Joey shut the fuck up! You were the biggest prude at 16. Bro first of all, no one is sitting here acting like they're actually doing this. Girls would call you up and say come over I want you to fucking rub your tiny little cock in my hand and you'd be petrified and you're trying to convince me now that you're gonna sell drugs? Outta here!
I didn't say I was gonna do it, I'm saying I thought about it. Guess what, I thought about being a billionaire, but it ain't gonna fucking happen. Oh my god. A girl who would fucking- I could drop fucking names first and last right now. I don't even know who you're fucking about. There was a girl, we've talked about it, that invited- Give me the letters. N.
Jordans? Yeah. First of all, I went. She wasn't home. Regardless, you said you got scared. I was terrified. I was very scared to lose my virginity. You said you got scared, Joey. And I know Joey walked in. He's like, oh my God. Bro, I walked to her house. And when she didn't pick up, I was like, thank God. I was going to lose my virginity. But you didn't. I wonder how she's doing. You know? Yeah, I don't know. I don't keep tabs on people like that. I haven't seen her face in 20 years. Maybe she's still waiting for you.
Maybe she's just waiting for the call. That is so funny. And she's just like, yo, diddy bop your way over here. She kinda did. She kinda did. She was a nice lady. She was a nice lady. What, you think people that speak like that are not nice? Oh, here he is, ladies and gentlemen. We got him. No, I'm just saying she was a nice lady. Lady. How old do you have to be to be a lady? I was gonna say. Honestly, it's got me. Yeah, 45 to be a lady. Before that, it's a girl.
Mm, woman. Yes, woman before that. No, women I think is a blanket. Like you're a woman when you're like 28. Oh, okay. 27, no. Okay, I'll say 27 to whenever. Those are women. 27 to 45. After that, it's a lady.
But they're Yeah Okay You could be a woman at 40 But you're not like a lady Yeah You know what I'm saying I hear you 100% And also You're like 22 Like this isn't a lady And a man It's a girl Past 45 to 55 55 Ma'am
Ma'am. Ma'am is 55. This doesn't apply to the South because you guys are ma'am and sir in all of the place. Yeah, y'all deep-deedling in big-bang homing. But yeah, like a lady. I think so. Like, oh, that's this lady. This lady over here. You wouldn't say that about like a 25-year-old. Look at this lady over here. I'm with you. I think we could... But like young lady, that's different. Young woman, young lady. We're talking about just ladies. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You know what I'm saying? Yes, I agree.
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Cheers. No. I'm trying to get you to drink that. Oh, because I spit in it. Because you spit in it. Yeah, I'm aware of it. You would kind of get turned on by that, you freak. What? You spit and you fucking drink it back up. No, ew. Yeah? No. Have you ever had someone be like, fucking drink my spit? No. No? No. All right. No, I would not do that. But yeah, I wanted to talk about... Are you a dirty little bitch? What? Why? I'm curious now. Like, where does it start and stop with you? Are you like a...
Are you like, I'm gonna fucking spit on my own chest and make you lick it off me? I'm gonna fucking piss into a toilet, you watch me? I don't know. What was that? I don't know. The first one didn't sound as bad as the second one. I'm gonna piss in a toilet and have you watch me? I don't know, dude.
You're a weirdo sometimes. Sometimes. You're apparently trying to sell drugs at 16. No one was trying to sell drugs. I said that I thought about it. Oh, what if I just... I don't think the statute of limitations is up on that. So you were 16, 16 years ago. Ironically, statute of limitation on thinking, conspiring to sell drugs, 17 years. Ladies and gentlemen, get him. That's not conspiring. It's a thought that went into my stupid head. FBI, Homeland Security, D...
Well...
Well, I know why you don't want to talk about it. Yeah, exactly. You know, but it was crazy. It was. I was very scared. When did you see cocaine in real life? Fucking, I don't know. Dude, it's not that crazy to see cocaine. I think it's crazy. I'm such a little baby boy with that stuff. People just do cocaine in clubs. But I haven't spotted them and go, whoa. You know, like you see someone in the club, you're like, oh shit. No, I was at a bar in Astoria. All of us were there.
I was there? You were there, but I went into the basement, into the bathroom, and there was someone in there, and they had their key out. Yeah. And they had cocaine on it. And they were like, you're cool, right? I was like, yeah. And they were like, you want a bump? And I was like, nope. And I walked out. Oh, when I was in Greece, there was some dude got engaged.
while we were at this place. And they were having a party with their whole family and stuff. And then I went to the bathroom eventually. And when I get there...
It's not inside yet. Because when you walk up to the bathroom, it's like outside. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. And there's like a shared sink. And he's just banging rails on that. Jesus Christ. In front of the ocean. What's the craziest drug you've seen in real life? I guess the... Would the horse tranquilizer be the... That was something. I saw someone... I don't know what was in the syringe, but they were shooting up something. I was at a... In high school, I was at a billiard hall in like...
I guess, what would that be considered? Like Ravenswood, Sunnyside area. And you remember off Queens Boulevard? Ravenswood and Sunnyside are in completely different places. No, I mean that general area. Like on that other side of Queens Boulevard. Yeah, yeah. You know like where Queens Boulevard, where there was that, it was the Chuck E. Cheese, the Guitar Center, the Toys R Us, and the BJ's? Behind there, there was those train tracks. There was like a billiard spot. Who's calling me? My dad. I slammed my phone.
Did you crack your screen? I might have. Dude, you just cracked your screen. It's okay. Whatever. Dude, you should've... It did it? I don't know. I hit the corner. There's a rug everywhere. This kid hit the corner of the chair. Cracked a screen. Oh, no. Anyway, Frank was gonna... You cracked it. Yeah. You cracked it. Oh, oh. Oh, no. I thought that was gonna be the crack. You got a screen protector on there? Yeah. This guy, what, you jerk off with a condom on too? Loser. Yeah.
This guy's got a screen protector. I got it. I got it. I got it. So as I was saying, at this billiard hall and I went into the bathroom and I hear someone shuffling around in the fucking stall and they took a look. No. So I'm peeing and I hear him shuffling around. The door opens and they walk out with a syringe and I look in the fucking stall and there's blood everywhere, dude.
Everywhere he bled all over the place everywhere and I I walked out of the bathroom with the people I was with I was like we gotta go This ain't it. That's crazy. This ain't it, but they were serving beer underage. So I was so we stayed I was so pumped to stay. Yeah, but the drugs in real life scare me. Yeah, I mean I don't like to be around drugs. It's weird, right? Yeah, it's just creepy. It's not like i'm hanging out with heroin I know I know you're not I know but like it's just a weird thing but yeah
I've never seen, you know what I've never seen? I've seen cocaine a lot. Okay. Chill out. No, but I'm saying. Weird flex. No, no, no. Not flexing. I've seen it. I'm saying I've seen that a lot. So like, that's not that crazy to me. But like someone who's like heating up a spoon or something, I'd be like, bro, what's going on? I was, so when I was in college, my college, University of New Haven was in West Haven, which is not a traditionally great neighborhood. And I went to a party at a girl's apartment and
With a bunch of people and it smelled so weird outside. And I was like, what the hell is that smell? And I looked over and I saw someone with like, you could see the light,
From a lighter. And I was like, what the hell is that? And we got upstairs and she's like, oh, they're smoking crack. That's what that smell is. Heating up that silverware. And I'm like, that's what crack smells like? How do people smoke it? It smells like fucking dog shit. Nice. I guess they don't care about the smell. They care about the inhalant. Yeah. Yeah. So like we probably have stuff that smells like shit. Right. Right.
We probably eat stuff that smells like shit. I mean, but this was a weird, gross, chemical-y smell. It wasn't a good, musky smell. Musky is not really a... Musky like an aged meat or a fucking hard cheese. Oh, yeah. Some cheeses, though, are like... Don't. Gross, though. I watched pretty much an hour yesterday of a guy cutting a... Big old wheel. A wheel of cheese. Oh.
It's a lot of work to cut a fucking cheese. It is, it is. But like once they break that, they hammer it down like it's a fucking railroad track. There's like three spikes in it. Yeah. Oh, dude. I saw the one, the one that I saw recently was, you know who I'm a little obsessed with? A full, I'm gonna full on fucking fanboy out here. Free plug. You ever watch Nonapia? No. You don't know Nonapia? I probably do. She's the little old Italian grandma who just makes food and just gets like fucking cheese delivered to her. Ooh.
And he's just like, no, no, Pia, what we making? She's like, we're making a man of gold. And he's like, we're making a man of gold. Okay, no, no, Pia, let's see. And he goes, you wash your hands? She goes, no, they're clean. They're clean. Bro, I will fucking die for this grandma, mainly because I don't have one myself anymore. Right. And I need one. Right. You're trying to make up for all those years that you were. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So, no, no, Pia, you don't know, go check it out. There's one episode where she goes to visit her husband's grave. Oh.
Not sure what you did. I might die. I might have done like the fucking like Kill Bill, like death punch. If I take five steps, I'll drop dead. That's all right. You're nervous? A little bit. Old people just make me sad, dude. Yo, you ever think about this? I forgot. Maybe I heard this somewhere. You ever think about this? Me first. Okay. Because that's how. Yeah. You know how...
You go to a cemetery, right? And you're like, a lot of fucking tombstones, obviously, right? What happens? But wait, but wait. There's way more people who die in the world than there are tombstones. What happens to the rest of them? They're not all cremated. Some could be cremated. Some could be... But, like, where do they bury them? Like, you know what I'm saying? Unmarked. They have unmarked graves. But, bro, tell me how, since we were young, like, the first time I went to a funeral, I was young. Like, you know, like...
20 years ago, maybe I don't know something like that and you you went there in 20 years And then the most recent one i've been to just happened not too long ago
And that's at the same cemetery. So in 20 years, how many people died in this neighborhood that were buried there? How are we still buried? But then there are people that are like, they build like mausoleums and shit like that. But not that many. But then there are people that get like flown to like their home countries. I think, I don't think you're realizing. You're underestimating the population of a New York City fucking town. Listen to me. Listen to me. I don't think you're like realizing how many people get cremated. Cremation has become like a big thing.
When I was a kid, no one talked about getting cremated, mainly because not many people were talking about death. We were in third grade. Yeah, but like, I feel like it has become like a newer thing that like people, like people are like doing like cremation. They're like, yo, throw my ashes on the fucking Yankee Stadium. Throw my ashes in the fucking, you know, in a lake. Shit like that. There's only 1,900 cemeteries in New York. That's a, I don't think you're realizing how many that is, Joey.
And also, also, also, my turn now, also,
How long does it take these bodies to fully decompose in their wood boxes? But the tombstones stay. But the tombstones might be, you know, they might get moved. And sometimes they fall. No. And they get thrown elsewhere. You never know. No. What do you mean? You can go back and fucking visit Nonapia's husband, bro. Yeah, what the hell is this? Yeah, Nonapia's husband. So, like, if you put a tombstone... Well, expensive. You better not fucking do this thing. Oh, yeah. Not like the old ones. Like, we're talking like the ones that are, like, made out of, like, fucking, like, big old marbles. Yeah, and it's not like you can bury someone...
On top, I mean you could maybe if they're relatives, but you're not gonna bury like Johnny down the block on top of my grandma because her tombstone is there. Maybe your grandma wants some fucking good old Hayaduskas. I get that, but when you look at the tombstones, they say your person's name on it. Boom, right here. I don't know. Honestly, I honestly don't know. Where are the fucking bodies, bro? I mean, maybe some of them are being dumped out to sea. Maybe some of them are being, listen. Dumped out to sea? Shot in a space.
No one's doing that. Why not? A lot of money to shoot things into space. If I'm dead, who gives a fuck?
Dickhead, I'm talking about for the world. Oh sending a rocket to space. What do you think? That's free Just do like once every five years hear me out once every five years in a rocket to space carrying a only dead people and You just like have it be like big is this rocket you have it be a special rocket that like well I guess I saw fucking blows up and then all the dead people in it just become one with the fucking eternal darkness of space
It's kind of fire. Kind of sick, right? I know, but you can't do that. Why not? Big rocket, five years of dead people. Yeah. That's bodies, baby. Yeah, freeze them. What is that going to do? Make them heavier? No. That's a good question. Yeah. I don't know. Huh. Yeah. Do things get heavier? No. Do they? I think they get more dense. If you take a cup of water and you weigh it and then you freeze it, is it heavier? Joey. Dear...
Is it very basic fucking like state of matter is going to help give us this answer? I feel like it's the same, right? But it can't be. What's heavier? I think it's the same because of density, dude. Now you're just throwing out terms, I think. I don't know. We should call our boys.
Whom? Hank Green. Oh yeah, maybe we should ask him. Yeah, like a cup of water and then you freeze it. It's a block of ice. That's heavy. I could pick it up and be like, oh, I feel this thing. I think it might be the same weight, but it's just like the density changes because when things are solid, you know, we know how atoms work. You know, they're more tightly packed. We, yes. I don't know. I think so. Like it might weigh the same, but like it has different properties and densities.
What an unbelievably stupid group of people you have sitting in front of you. And I apologize, too. I apologize for being this dumb. But, dude, I'm honestly concerned where all these fucking dead bodies are. Also, there's no cemeteries in Manhattan. You know that, right? So all of Manhattan has to be buried in the other boroughs. No, there's cemeteries. No, there isn't. None? Look it up right now. I don't believe what you're saying. Where did they bury your boy? Who's my boy? Epstein. Hopefully in the fucking...
With the fucking... I was going to say in the ground. That's where most people compare. There is some. Got them. Yeah, there is some, actually. But they're small. They're like the tiny ones. Oh, like the ones that are on the corner of the street next to... You know the one on 21st Street, right after Astoria Park? It's right next to just an Irish Catholic church. Yeah, like the size of a soccer field. I don't know that there's actual fucking big ones. Yeah, I know. The ones that are sprawling. But even then, there's only... There's one, two, three, four.
There's nine in Manhattan, and most of them are just kind of like that. Queens has a shit ton. And these are all massive. Bro, the one that spans from Queens and Brooklyn. There's barely any in the Bronx, and these are probably just small ones too. Let me ask you a question. Who the hell wants to get buried in the Bronx? Brooklyn. Wait, what is that?
Oh, these are the ones that do Brooklyn and Queens. So like the bulk of them are in Queens. Bro, where are the bodies? Where are the fucking bodies? Where are they? This is a really good question. You know what I mean? That's so many people. Like, think about that. Like St. Mike's Cemetery has existed for how long? How is it not full? There's also like unmarked graves and like locations. Like you remember, I think it was during COVID. They were like bringing them to like,
like where like the Trump links like places across the Whitestone bridge. Yeah. And they were like burying people in unmarked graves and shit there. So like, maybe they're just like running out of spots and they're like, just like, and maybe, maybe if it is like a spot where it's like, you know, a Jane or John Doe or something, they cremate them in order to save space. I don't know. I'm really not sure. Maybe they're just trying to price people out. And it's like, that's why shit is so expensive because it's like,
Just let us cremate this thing. I told you what I might possibly want. I want to be put in like a tree pod. You ever seen those? Oh, yeah, I'd be a tree. And I'd become a fucking tree. How awesome is that, dude? Yeah, that's kind of cool. But then, like, what if dogs piss on me? I'll be a little upset about that. Nah. I know you're into that. No. The fuck? Back to the pissing. No. I don't know why you keep saying that, honestly. I don't know either. It's all right. Speaking of, like, you know, the Bronx or whatever...
Yeah, what the hell is going on? What's going on, Jennifer Lopez? I mean, I like Jennifer Lopez. I think that she's a hot mama. You know? Maybe you should like her past her fucking looks, you shallow, pedantic piece of shit. Don't know her, dude. All I have is what she looks like. Well, apparently, the fucking jig is up. People are starting to finally see through this Jenny from the block persona. Yeah. Is this...
Is this the basement yard is fucking reporting on this first. Is this all just an act? We're not reporting on it first. We're not. Yeah, absolutely not. We're about 418. So, uh, but like, so there's that video that came out that was like, I hate those videos by the way. We're like GQ or whatever. It's like, we're going to ask you 99 questions and they ask them to the weirdest questions and clearly, and they follow them from like the base of their building to like their fucking apartment to make a smoothie. And they're like, I think at one point she said something. She's like, you want tea?
And people are just like, come on. Come on, bro. This is all fucking scripted. So the two lines from this Jennifer Lopez thing are, one, where people are like, the interviewer's like, everyone knows, like, hey, I'm walking here, which is from a movie, doesn't get said in real life. Yeah, it doesn't. But then he's like, what other, like, what is your go-to New York saying? Or like, what else do real New Yorkers say? Yeah. And she's just like...
Fuck you. And it's like, oh my God, Jennifer.
Come on, from the block. It's really corny when people just perpetuate that New Yorkers are so mean. But it's not like that. It's not at all. It's just like, don't fucking talk to me type of thing. You're not going to hear it. Because everyone is... Here's the best way. People say, oh, New Yorkers, they're fucking mean. No, we're just in a rush. We're just not saying hi to each other. And we're in a rush. We need to get where we're trying to go, so please let us get there and go there. Yeah. And if someone was like, good morning...
And someone I don't know Just on the street I'd be like What was that? Yeah Just like You know It's like That's what New York good mornings are Like
But you don't talk to strangers at all. I get to the elevator of my building and I do not say a fucking word. My least favorite thing is because when I drive here, sometimes I take Canal Street. And they have all those shops down Canal Street. And every single one of those shops outside has a shirt that says like, Oh, it's New York. Fuck you, you fuckity fuck. And it's just like, no.
No, nobody forget about it. Yeah, forget about no one like that was a perpetuated in like the 80s and shit like that But yeah now you're more likely to hear like fucking like mmm way to go You know like fucking super progressive of y'all in New York, then you are to hear a fucking forget about it Yeah, you know but meatballs Forget about it. Well, that's the thing is that driving into Brooklyn they have a sign. It's like you're entering Brooklyn. Oh
Yeah, yeah. And it's like, you're leaving. Oy vey. It's like, come on, dude. I also, those shops one time, I was driving by like near Chinatown and there was a...
There was a t-shirt hanging right when you walk into the door of this shop, and it had a rooster on it, and in the Coca-Cola thing font, it just said cock. It said, enjoy my cock. That's what it said. Enjoy my cock. I was like, what the fuck is this? They have a ton of those, and then they'll have a bedazzled fucking Justin Bieber shirt. Yeah, like, who's buying this? Very, very all over the place, but...
It's just like she's it's almost become like her like Jenny from the block persona is just kind of that like a persona. Apparently she went to like a high end Catholic school and like grew up in like a fucking like well off home. Yeah. She in the video like that. Like there's that video, which, by the way, you've seen Kendall Jenner's. They go, who's your spirit animal? No. What's your spirit animal? She goes, Tupac Shakur. What are you even saying?
Kendall Jenner? The one that's also funny because I've seen this TikTok. There's this TikTok account that I found that's just like, what pop culture moments will you not forget? Yeah. And there's one where it's like, what can you not live without Selena Gomez? And she's like, my family. And it's like, what can you not live without Kim Kardashian? And she's like, my cake, cake, contour, brush, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, it's like such a jarring like fucking like difference. Tupac Shakur is a wild answer. For like, that's like me saying like fucking, I don't even know. For like a girl, like an Armenian American who grew up in Beverly Hills to be like, my spirit animal, Tupac Shakur. It's like, is it? Is it Kendall Jenner? Yeah, dude. But the other one you're referencing is when they were like,
She was like working out and JLo's hair is all fucked up. She's sitting there like this and she's like, oh yeah, like leaving my hair like this reminds me of when I was like running up and down the block in the Bronx. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's such a, maybe some people from other bigger cities will relate to this, but like, it was like, people chose it as like a flex when they came from like a bad part of the city where they're just like, yeah, I made it out. Like there are shootings in my city. There are shootings in my town. Someone got robbed down the block. Yeah, people like love fucking like,
Just hyping up the fact that they, like, live in a dangerous neighborhood. Also, just, like, a lot of those people don't. Like, you know? Like, you live outside of that, bro. You're not, like... You know what I'm saying? Well, it's because, like, hip-hop and rap culture is kind of, like, the standouts from these areas come from, like, typically low socioeconomic fucking areas that have, like, higher crime rates. So when people hear, like...
I swear to God, I remember when I was in college, I was like, oh, I'm from New York City. They're like, oh shit, like Biggie? And I was like, no, I'm from Queens. And they're like, Nas? And I was like, sure. You know, like, okay. It's like, yes, but not where Nas is from. I'm from Astoria, New York. Yeah, dude. You know, like we grew up in a very like safe area. Yeah. But like, and Nas died.
Did not. Did not. Did not. And then also the other side of it is just like fucking Jamaica Queens and Hollis Queens, which are not very, I don't know what they are now, but like at the time were kind of rough too. Yeah. You know, but yeah. And then what was the sandwich one that Jennifer Lopez did? Oh, there was like, what's your go-to bodega order? And she's like, all right, ham and cheese on a roll. Orange drink. If you know, you know. No, I don't know. Nobody knows. Yeah.
What the fuck are you talking about? Orange drink if you know, you know. Here's the- I don't know. Here's the only thing that I kind of would get with her saying that. Defending Jenny from- Miss from the block a little bit. Yeah.
When we were younger, I don't know if they have them now they had the barrel drills. Yeah So is that what she's referencing the orange barrel because that orange barrel drink was not drink It was not it was sugar syrup basically. Yeah, so like maybe but also bro. Do you remember those sodas? I forget what they were called I think people called them bullies or some shit and like I remember that if you if people saw you drinking them They were like, yeah, you're fucking gay because they like killed sperm. It's like yo, you don't like your sperm. You're gay. I
It kills your sperm. You're gay for drinking it. You don't want more sperm in the world? Gay! I remember I was drinking one of those. Yo, you like that? That shit is gay. Were they the Sobey ones? The ones that were like milky pink? It was like some shit I've never even... I don't really know the brand at all. First of all, I used to drink a Coca-Cola before middle school every single day. The world was very, very different. Every day. The other thing that really aggravates me
And I can't take too much aggravation because I now live in the Jersey Shore. But like this whole like people when they hear like bodegas and they try to like make bodegas. Like it's like a thing. When I went to L.A.,
I stayed in a hotel and the hotel, like mini Mart, like their shop was called like the bodega. Yeah. And it's so fucking infuriating because all these people see like, well, they didn't have a cap, but like they had like, you know, like the, like the, like the white metal barred shelves and shit like that. And like, because of like this whole like Akiway thing, people think like they're in on the joke, bro. A bodega was the let's, let's,
Let's be very clear. These places were the biggest pieces of shit because they failed every fucking health code. They would close every six months, have to reopen under a new name because we found out they were putting fucking, you know, like cigarettes in the sandwiches. Yeah. Like it's become this thing where it's like, oh, the bodegas, they're fucking awesome. I go for the bodegas and shit like, no, you don't.
Okay, no you fucking don't. I got attacked by a dog in front of a bodega once. Bro, I fucking almost got robbed in like two of them. They've become like glamorized and glorified because of the social media presence. We'll get back to that in just a second. We do have Squarespace. Squarespace is where you're going to build all your websites, okay? You got a small business, you got some content you want to promote, or you need a website,
Squarespace is the one baby, uh, our website, actually, you can go to the basement yard.com. Go check that out. We did that with Squarespace. Uh, go get your tickets to the, to the tour. Um, but, uh, yeah, go check out, uh, Squarespace. If you're building a website, this is the one you want to do. They have beautiful templates so you can get a website that is professional looking up and running in, you know, a day or two, probably depending on how much work you want to put into it. Um, so it's a lot of, you know, it's, it takes a lot of the work off your plate. Um,
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Go do it. And lastly, here we have Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is like having your own personal stylist, okay? You go on, fill out their style quiz. You let them know what kind of stuff that you like to wear and they will get right to work. They'll start pulling items from a bunch of different brands that you know and love and you'll
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Whatever it is. I think it's nice. It's like Christmas all the time. You get a nice little package. You keep your wardrobe up to date all the time. It's great. And if you want to try this out, go to stitchfix.com slash basement. Okay? That is stitchfix.com slash basement. All right? Keep that wardrobe up to date and fresh and new with stitchfix.com slash basement. Go get started, folks. All right? I can't. This Jennifer Lopez stuff is so funny to me because, like...
Like she really leaned into like, I'm just, I'm just Jenny from the block and I'm not minimizing block. Maybe she did have to, you know, run up and down to block and down to block. I also don't know what like fucking the Bronx was like in like the late eighties, early nineties. I imagine not ideal. Right. But you know, just, just be yourself. Don't have to be like a version of yourself that people want you to be. Oh, wow. That was beautiful. Who said that? Mickey mouse. I think. Oh yeah, probably. Yeah.
I meant actually. Also, I think that we owe an apology to Kate Middleton. Oh, yeah. You know, we were speculating on what was going on with her. Like the rest of the world. Take a look at yourselves. We want to just say sorry to Kate Middleton because apparently, I don't want to say apparently anyway. I've been spending too much time on TikTok. Everyone has a conspiracy about this thing. It's like, oh, no, her head is a different shape. It's not her in the video. I don't fucking know. All I know is, is that either Kate Middleton or an AI version of that
came out and said that she has cancer, so we're hoping that she has a speedy recovery. Speedy recovery. Hey, conspiracy TikTok. Let this woman fight her battle in peace. Also, literally get a life. Yeah. Get a life. We are very well aware, because one of the biggest, I think, things that Joey and I carry with us is the ability to see...
Outwardly, you know? And, like, understanding the bigger picture. And we're also very humble, too. Right. But, like... And we smell good. I would say so. But, like, we are aware that, like, the metrics... Like, the day our episode came out was when she had just announced that she was fighting this battle. Not good. We apologize. Yeah. But also...
We, at the time, followed the sheep mentality. So who's to blame here? The sheep or the shepherds? We also couldn't... Well, fair. We're just sheep. We're just two little baa baa sheep. Two baby boy sheeples ready for a shearing. Oh, I would love...
Dude. What? Like, you don't see how much like they get like so relieved when they get sheared and stuff like that. No, we talked about this and I, I, I skip over shearing videos. No, you should because they look so like they're finally like, Oh,
Bro, it's like getting into a cold bed after a long day in jeans. You know what I'm saying? It's the same feeling. Like, what I imagine it is when women... After a long day in jeans? Yeah, like when women have to take off their fucking bras after a long day carrying around two melons, you know? Yeah. It's just like a... And that's what I imagine the sheep feel. But don't bras help with the carrying of... I mean, the weight is still there, dude. Like, it still hurts. Yeah.
But wouldn't it be worse if it was just like, no, I got to, like, my shoulders are carrying the brunt if I'm just letting them. Yeah, but I imagine when you got big old fat tits. Yeah. When you put, when you're wearing a bra that picks them up, it just feels like you have to sneeze all the time. Oh, I thought it would feel like you're wearing shoulder pads. That too. You know what I mean? You could feel something. Yeah, like the confidence you have. Like a sports bra is kind of like, who's pushing me? Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Compact. Yeah, like you're just like, you're fucking like, you're walking like.
Yeah. You know, like you're a rock'em sock'em robot or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that. You know what I'm saying? And you're punching. We don't have boobs. No, we don't. But that's... Yeah, I thought that like if you have really gigantic bae bobs, I feel like if you didn't wear a bra, it would be worse, no? Because...
Pulled. Well, I would imagine. I would imagine. I don't have massive tits. Right. Contrary to what you often say to me. I don't say that. I would imagine it's like pulling them up is just like, you know, just fucking, you know.
Yeah, because if you if you're buckled in yes exactly exactly like when you're strapped into a fucking roller coaster And you're like I'm safer. Yeah, but I'm still here. I can feel the weight. Yes. Yes. Yes I imagine if you're walking around which is fucking Beelzebub You know like exactly you don't know you need something to kind of hold you up. That is a Pokemon correct It is actually a term used for the devil correct
Yeah, but having like a smaller boob, that's probably a lot of fun. I mean, I don't know. You know like the smaller boob girls who just walk around, they're like, I'm barely wearing a shirt. And it's like, it's just not a big deal. No, no, I don't know. You know what I mean? I have no idea what that is. No, you just kind of, like it's just like whatever. You don't have to worry about like the shoulders or the back or the... You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. I don't know, man. What do we know? Nothing, honestly. Literally. Yeah. Not a clue. You think...
Here we are. I don't even know what I was going to ask. It's something about you wearing a bra for a full day. You know what? We probably should do... We should ask... Oh, maybe we should... Maybe we should wear tits for a day. Yeah. I'd tit it up. But, like, we have to wear huge tits so we could feel like... Duh, dude. Yeah, I'm not going to wear that. Duh, you think I'm walking around with small tits? Hell no. I need to feel, like, you know, the pain in which big titted women feel. Now, let me ask you a question. Okay. You were throwing them back at me before.
Not your tits. Question. Say again? Oh, oh. If you had huge tits, you letting those things get fucked to kingdom come? Oh, if I got... Yeah. If you got bangerangs. Yeah, yeah. If you got just fucking, just fucking 2-A-K-quattro-siete. Am I doing this, you mean? Yeah. And you're letting them get banged? Yeah. What am I gonna... I mean, you use them if you got them, you know? That's what I'm saying. You know? I...
For the special ones, you know? Not everybody. Not that everyone would bang my tits. Well, if you got a supply and demand, absolutely. You know what I mean? If you got a couple supplies on your chest, you need to make sure that the demand is fucking demanded. I'm sure there will be demand, but there won't be. For your tits? I've seen your bare chest. I feel like your tits wouldn't be cool. How are you basing that off of my chest? Show me your chest right now. Bare chest. Honestly. My this? Well, you got hair. Take the hair away. You've got fucking...
You got pinky white tits. Pinky white tits? So? What do you need me to be? What do you want me to be? Caramel? I can't, dude. I can't be caramel. What do you want me to do? I can only be pinky white. Did I ever tell you? Weird transition. Speaking of... I was going to say speaking of tits, but it's actually speaking of caramel. Did I ever tell you my dad told us to use Coca-Cola suntan lotion?
Bro, that is the most Colombian shit I've ever heard in my entire life. Bro, it is. We were at the lake house. How? Did he say pour it on your body? We were at the lake house one day. And you remember like the beach bum brown bottle that had like the spray lotion in it? My sister had used it and she was like, I'm so sticky. What the hell? And she goes, dad, I think the suntan lotion is bad. And he goes, not suntan lotion. You know what we use in Colombia? It works like a chum? Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola.
The fact that this man... Here's the thing. Wait, did he put Coca-Cola in it? He poured out the bottle or used the bottle of suntan lotion and took an ice cold fucking Coca-Cola, cracked that shit, and poured it in is so absolutely insane. That's the most Colombian shit I've ever heard in my life. And he would use... Wearing Coca-Cola. Bro, and then he would wonder why he was getting attacked by fucking bumblebees and shit.
It was this summer where there were like bees everywhere and he was like "what the fuck" you know he was so mad and I was like "Dad maybe because you're spraying fucking high fructose corn syrup on your fucking balls" Say what the fuck What the fuck
I swear to God, you could ask my sister. He had a thousand bee stings that summer. Bro, he legit poured Coca-Cola. And we were like, dad, what the fuck is this? Oh my God. He's like, Columbia, they use it. I was like, I mean, maybe they do, but doesn't make it less stupid. Oh my God. That's so funny, dude. It was just like the fuck. It was a sticky fucking mess. And then he was wondering why there were just fucking hornets everywhere, dude. Everywhere. Everywhere.
He's fucking backwards as hell. Yo, I love that. Oh my God. Our dads, man. They're interesting guys. We should, we got to try. We got to try. Oh, fuck. They're going to come to a show this year for sure. And we have to just rip them. Oh, it's been a joke that my dad has not been at shows. So when he is at a show, forget about it. He's done. Every time I tell him about the shows, one, he asks if other people are going to get invited. Yeah. And then he says to me, he's like, waiting for my cut.
My dad says that too. I'm like, for what? It goes, well, half your fucking jokes are me. Yeah. And I'm like, all right. I asked my dad about a specific show. I was like, you're going to come to this one? He was like, of course. It was my idea. I'm like, what?
I said that, I was like, dad, we might, you know, like, this is a show that we might do if you come to it. Like, it's pretty crazy, right? And he's just like, yeah, get tickets for these people. And like, hey, dad, relish with me. For a fucking hot sec. What the fuck? Yeah. Bro, he was so confused. It's so, it's, oh my. Picturing your dad, yo, honestly, I'm trying to picture being in Connecticut with
Being outside I wouldn't be surprised if there were times my sister might know more coca-cola dump well That's the thing is my sister might know better than I would because she was the one that would use this like this the spray tan lotion and shit like that not spray tan or suntan lotion yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised if she has a memory of my dad just full-on opening a coke drinking half of it and then pouring the rest down his back and
Guys, you don't get it. You don't get it. This man is a real human. I love that. Yeah. Anyway.
Before we get out of here, again, I'm going to reiterate, TheBasementYard.com. Go buy some tickets, folks. We're coming to a city near you. A bunch of different cities for the rest of the year up there. TheBasementYard.com. Go get your tickets. We want to see you so bad. Oh, yeah. And you can check us out. I mean, honestly, you know where to find us. We're not going to plug our own stuff. Go check out the shows. Patreon. Get ready. The Basement Yard Experience. Out the basement into your backyard. Coming soon, babes. You don't want to miss out. All right? Joey, love. Liberty.
Lesbians. Love Liberty and lesbians. Go follow the Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. That is all. See you guys next time.