#485 - New Year, Same Me
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I always needed you, you, you, you, you And it's like different moments of us like laughing at each other Yeah You know, or like hugging on stage or something like that Yeah, you know, but It's fine Guys, 2025, hug your bros, dude Yeah, dude Hug, it's bro hugging season

can't just do another season maybe we can bitch i guess we could because we got dog sucking season but season's end you should brug your you should hug your bros for life season's end only i was gonna say you should brug your hose yeah brug your hose and hug your bros that's it don't forget to brug your hose 2025 the year you brug your hose and hug your bros yeah i kind of like that me too what does brug stand for though athena make it short shirted she's not she lives in arizona i think she's

She might be in the UK. She's across the pond, as far as I know. She's always moving. Yeah, she's all over the place. Yeah. I think that this should be the year that people stop this feeling weird about showing affection for their bros. Yeah. Make this the year of brugging your hoes and hugging your bros. Yeah. That's it. I agree. I'm in agreement.

What were you just talking about? I will say, I don't know why you showed up looking like Dexter Morgan, but it's kind of working. See, this is last year energy that you're doing here. No, no, no, no, no, bitch. Yeah, you are. No, no, no, bitch. Because I love guys in the hearing. All right, all right. I'm backpedaling a little bit. Some people, their resolutions go out the window in a week. Frank is immediately. Well, you mistook me calling you Dexter Morgan for a bad thing. One of my favorite shows of all time. I will say this is a very Dexter Morgan shirt. And people absolutely...

Absolutely love Dexter Morgan I mean the way he like You love him You had a poster of him In your college dorm room I did Not for gay reasons For just Because it's a good show Was it the one Where he's covered in plastic wrap Oh it was that one Or it's the one where It's like he's holding a fake hand Right And it's like It's like a dead person's hand Like oh he's just like us But a killer But it's a killer It's a dead hand Yeah I mean Not a bad thing I think that You know I would never let a dead hand Touch my face It's disgusting

I'm trying to think of where dead hands have touched me. Isn't it weird? So there's two examples of things, right? Yeah. Of things. Just things. No, no. Yeah. Of what I'm about to say. You know, you shake someone's hand, you know, whatever. You love your grandma, you know, whatever the fuck. As soon as they're dead, it's like, ugh. Yeah. Well, I would never touch a dead body unless it was like... Go ahead. I realize that's a weird place to pause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, if your loved one just died, it's like, you know, whatever. But like...

Yeah, like three hours after a body dies, I'm kind of like, oh, that's gross. So there's like a real, there's like a time frame at which you're touching dead bodies. Yeah, you have to be like very newly. Freshly dead. Fresh off the press dead. Freshly dead or after the embalming fluid is kind of doing its thing. No, but I don't even want to touch bodies then. Really? No. What do you want? I want to just lean over into the casket and give it a hug? I'll be honest with you.

You love touching dead people. Every wake that I have been to, I have to touch the body. I know, but— Just to make me feel something. I know. Well, that's insane. But you also, like, love to touch stuff. You touch the street. You touch a bunch of walls. I am a very tactile person. You are. I've explained this. Anytime—what am I—I remember this, you know, younger. My sister and I would, like, go to the mall or, like, she'd go shopping. We'd, like, hang out or whatever. And anytime she'd go clothing shopping, I would—

She'd be like, do you like this? I would immediately touch it because so much of what I enjoy about life is right here. You know what I mean? Like it could be a beautifully, like a really nice shirt. And if it feels like shit, yeah, I don't care for it. Yeah. I don't like shirts that feel like construction paper. You know what I'm saying? God, listen, I'm all about saving the planet, but like recycled shirts,

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'd rather let the turtles go on that one. Yeah, like if you're going to feel icky on my skin, I don't want to save the planet. I agree. I don't want that, you know? And now what they're doing with like Snapple bottles and shit like that. Yeah, now we're going back. Wait, with plastic? Isn't plastic worse than like tin or whatever the fuck that's in? Yeah, dude, people are just like glass is bad for everything. Like save the turtles. And it's like now everything's... Like glass is bad? When is glass bad?

I guess glass is bad? I think it's also probably from the company's perspective more expensive to create glass bottles. And they're just like, this is 100% recycled material. Where do you get it from? The floating island of recycled nonsense? I'm onto you, recycle thing. I don't even know what plastic really is. I don't know how you make that. It's a polymer.

What's that, a Pokemon? I don't know what that is, Frank. Well, poly is like... It's like a bunch of materials, you know? Like, put together. Right. But, like, which? Exactly. Yeah, that's why I'm saying I don't even know what plastic is. Like, I know that, you know, it's plastic. I will say, you know...

There is some credit to be, because, you know, all these old people are just like, I lived in the greatest time of the universe. And, you know, my time, the greatest generation. I will say things were better when everything was made of metal and plastic. I mean, metal and glass. Just saying. Just saying. I like glass. I love glass. Glass is so cool. Glass is great. I feel important when I have something in my hand made of glass. I feel like, you know, like a glass bottle of Coke.

Yes, those are cool. Those are real cool. Yeah. Did I tell you? I told you the story about the guy who like showed me this place was like always ordering a glass Coke every time I saw him. I was like, this is so weird. I think you are vastly underplaying how popular Coca-Cola is. It's the fucking biggest drink in the world. There's a new study that came out that apparently every can of Coke you have takes like 12 minutes off your life.

I haven't drank a lot of soda in my life. Oh, I have. And I'll tell you this. We know someone that might be dead in a week from the amount of Coca-Cola they have. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And his name starts with A and it ends with Hamed. Yeah, Hamed's going down, if that's true. Yeah. Just bring back glass. I'd like some glass. I also like fucking doing that. You know what I mean? What's your favorite way to drink a beer? Draft, can, glass, funneled. Draft? Draft?

Rank those. Draft, can, glass. You don't need to put funneled in there because that's not a real way. Draft is... Or keg. Keg. Keg. Certainly last. Keg is certainly last. I would say... I know what my answers are. Easily. I think that mine is glass, can, draft, keg. I don't love draft. I do like draft. But it's so big. I was going to say glass...

Draft, can, keg last for me. I don't mind a can because you kind of like, you can do this. I don't know what that is. Like you can kind of move around and talk a little bit. How are you talking? How are you talking? Like you're firing off a shotgun? No, like sometimes I get really into a story and I got to move a little bit. You know what I mean? Or it's like, it's just nice to stand there like, yay, you know? Also,

You can't do that with a bottle. If anything, you could do it more with a bottle than a can. Bottles first. That's what I'm saying. But you said I like cans because I can just shove them around. More than a draft because I kind of have to balance that. That is true. But most of the time when you're having a draft, you're at like a bar or something. You can put it down, tell your story, go like this. There's also not a lot of beers that are like on draft that are really good.

It's like light beers and like some fucking bullshit. Yeah, I mean... I went to the diviest bar I've ever been to this past weekend. Let me tell you, it smelled like people died in that bitch. Well, I'll tell you this. You kind of liked it. Why? What are you gaslighting me into having an opinion? What was that?

You liked it. You did like it. No, I mean, I didn't. I didn't. Really? Because it smelled like a basement, but we were above ground. But there's something that's actually probably the black mold coursing through your lungs right now. 100% there's black mold. There was a hole in the ceiling.

Asbestos. That's what that probably was. No. I don't know if you know what asbestos is. Yeah. It doesn't make holes. I know, but it was probably in the hole. Oh, it was probably in that hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? It was probably filled with that. I'm just... I think...

A dive bar is such a... First of all, you live in Brooklyn now. People are trying to make dive bars. Second of all, there is something so heartwarming about it because it's just like... It's a relic of the past. Like, pre-corporatization of everything. It was just like a little mom-and-pop place that was owned by an old guy that wore a newsy hat and anytime he walked in, he's cleaning the glasses. He's like, what do you want, hon? Yeah, and he makes inappropriate comments at women. See, that's the kind of bar you want to go to. Exactly, yeah.

On a bar I went to a bar one time Where it was called like Jerry's I walked in The guy's like You guys aren't from here And I was like What's your name? Jerry He's Jerry He's Jerry You met Jerry That's what I'm talking about Dude Love that This is gonna sound So fucking insane But one of my favorite Like places Cause during college We'd go out House parties There was like Kinda like Not upscale Like half

half clubs, but like... Okay. One of my favorite places, there were two bars in West Haven. One was called Spectators, aka Specs. That sounds like a... It was. ...boyerism bar. It basically was. The other one was called The Brick, and...

They were the diviest of dive bars, but there's just such a comfort and camaraderie in that. Like you walk in and they're just like, oh, yeah, cheers. We have lost. Cheers doesn't exist anymore. I haven't even seen a frame of that show. Neither have I, but I know what it's about. It's about a bar. Where everyone knows your name. Right. Why do you think that show is so timeless? No, there's only been one bartender in my entire life that has ever remembered my name. Was it the Irish guy from...

fucking what's it called Joe's Garage Joe's Garage no what was his name like Cormac it was it was it was something oh it was like a yeah it was something like that like McLernan or it was Matt Irish it could have been Connor Macintosh it might have yeah it could have been Macintosh he did have red hair but Red Delicious it was the dude I'm just naming apples his name is not Red Delicious that's what I know

No, it was the bartender at McCann's. Oh, yeah. His name was Richie. But that's what I'm talking about. Like a nice dive bar and that place is gone now. I know. You know, now it's like a fucking like salon or some stupid shit. No, it's a wine bar, I think. Also stupid. I went and it was pretty cool. Okay, but also stupid. Yeah, yeah. But like I went to these places like Specs and The Brick and you'd go and they'd be like, what do you want? And I'd be like, whatever you got on draft. You'd get a dollar draft beer. And I remember this for a thing.

In fact, I went in October and they still had green beer from St. Patrick's Day. That's insane. Yeah, but it was home. Yeah, I mean, there is something... You're right. Like, when you go to a... When I go to a dive bar, I want it to not be good in a way. Like, I want to get my drink and, like, I want the beer to taste good, but I want there to be a spider in it. Well, here's the thing is that what a lot of people...

What a lot of people are not understanding in today's society where it's like, oh, it's like a small hole in the wall restaurant. Like,

What we are missing out on now is the actual hole in the wall. Yes. And everything is too polished. Right. Like there was a certain amount of just dingy, grungy dirtiness that made things feel more human like. Yeah. And now when you go into a dive bar, they have $40 cocktails. Can't have that. And a fucking toilet gin that is made by a Norwegian immigrant that is too expensive. I don't know what a toilet gin is. Bathtub gin. Excuse me. Okay.

Toilet gin. Toilet wine, bathtub gin. That's bad funny. You know what I'm saying, though. What's toilet wine? Is that present? It's a real thing. Toilet wine is a real thing, and so is bathtub gin. Well, I'm not familiar with either of those. I will say, though, I agree with you. Because this was like a real one. This was upstate. They had a giant beer list. So I go up, and I'm sitting at the bar, and I'm talking to the bartender, and I'm like, oh, can I just get this? And he goes...

Looks to the sides of it. On the ground, by the way. It wasn't like the taps. It wasn't the fridge behind him. He looks on the ground. He's like, I don't think we have that anymore. I'm like, oh, I don't care. So I did three beers that they didn't have. Not a single one. And the second one, he was like, Jess, do we have that? We just got rid of the last one. Yeah. Ordered a beer. The one that he did have.

He's like, got the last one. Brings it out to me. One. When someone says that, it's not going to be good. Okay. Oh, yeah. It's the last one. You know why they call it bottom of the barrel, right? Yeah. Handed me it. It looked like he slammed it against his head. There was a giant dent in like the top of it. I was like, I don't even know if I can open this, chief. What are we doing? Butt.

But I drank it. But you drank it and you enjoyed it. That is what is so wrong with society. Here, you know what? I often reintroduce trends. We've often spoke about giving me credit for reintroducing Hawaiian shirts, the reestablishment of Red Lobster. A lot of people understand the power of words on this show. So 2025 is going to be the year we get dirty. Dirty and stinky. Dirty and stinky again because, listen, hey—

Big Dems. You're watching, right? We're getting political, bitch. Who? Oh, Democrats. Democrats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're speaking to the Democrats. To all of them. Got it, got it. The Libs, the Dems, everyone in between. Okay. You know why you lost? Because you're appealing to not the real Americans in this country, all right? Oh, say can you see? You have lost your way. You're singing? Shut up. He's singing. You have lost your way. By the dawn.

Oh, it's background music is what you're doing. Yes, it is. Do you mind doing it for me? Nope. Please. What's so perfect? You're supposed to talk. Oh, sorry. You have lost your way. This country was built off of the dirty, grimy, greasy hands of those that have come over and sought asylum. So guess what, America? Guess what, okay? Guess what, big Dems? I know you're listening, Bernie. Can you imagine that?

If Bernie Sanders listened to this show. Make this year, let's get back to our roots. Let's be a little grimy. I want to see someone hand me a beer like this. I don't want that. I want to see someone wipe their mouth with a cup and then fill it up with water and ask me to drink from it. Let's get back to our roots. What the hell are you talking about? Us as a society, we feel we need to be too clean cut and prim and proper. Let's get back to being dirty, grimy, and grungy. And that's when we reestablish America.

I'm being serious when I say this. 8% of that made sense. I think most of it did, honestly. I don't think that. You think the election was won and lost with the amount of...

That we need to be at dive bars more. That's what you're saying. Yes, absolutely. The dive bars need to be really diving. I imagine if you ask people that voted a very specific way during this last election, if they want more dive bars, bring it back to old screaming Steve down the block. Give him his establishment back. They'll say, yeah. Here's one thing that I will say I'm cool with bringing back. I think that...

We need to have more saloon doors. Uh-huh. I'd like to kick open some saloon doors. Yeah, we've lost the ability to do that with like... And people turn around and... Like anytime... You walk through saloon doors, people got to look at you. Anytime... It should be a law. Bars need to have saloon doors. Right.

And it's like a, you know, like remember that guy that was screaming, the white guy that was screaming questionably racist Japanese at that restaurant we went to anytime someone walked in? Oh, yep. He was screaming actual stuff. He wasn't screaming racist remarks. Yeah, no, but he was saying welcome, I think. Yeah, but also it was a Japanese restaurant without a single Japanese person working there. Right. It should be a rule that anytime someone walks in and one just does one of these.

I think they do. Look back, you know? No. Dive bars, though. If you go to places where there's not a lot of people, everyone looks at you. I don't know if I love that. I don't, but that's because of who we are. What is that? You like attention, but you're like, when I walk into a room, nobody look at me. You know? I think that's the complex in the world that we live in, having made a living off- Frank, you have referenced society in the world that we live in 400 times, and I'm sick of it already. It's 2025, Joey. I know. I'm trying to be more positive. We need-

Stop talking for society. I listen we are a mouth for society societies asked us to be their mouths Okay, we we have a responsibility on this platform. This is the year Joey where we we start Shutting mouths and opening mouths. This is what what do you know? This is why I hate New Year's Okay resolutions and it's like this is what this year is gonna be about you're gonna forget this and

You may have already forgotten it right now. I'll be honest with you. Most of what I say on this show immediately out the window the second I walk through that door. Right. That just goes to show how much thought goes into the things that we say on this show. But it is the new year. Thank you. Christmas was here. We exchanged gifts. I'm very kind to you. Thank you. We talked about it where we exchanged gifts in the parking lot here, which looked beautiful.

Yes. Yeah, it was a questionable drug deal. I did make a grave mistake when giving Frank gifts for him and his children and his wife. Yeah, yeah. And Miles, the oldest one, which is the one that you shouldn't mess up because he knows what's going on. He gets it.

Uh, I got him a miniature hockey net cause he's into hockey now and he's a devil's fan. Trust me. It's been, it's been a topic of contention in the house. Uh, but it was like branded as like the New Jersey devils and there's like two little sticks. So, you know, Frankie can get on his knees and they play hockey in the basement or something like that. You know what I mean? Uh, and I wrapped it.

Well, I took some stuff out of the box because I was like gonna put it in a bag But then the box was like this big so it didn't fit in the bag. This is a very long-winded explanation here uh, but

I took some stuff out of the bag, forgot about it, wrapped the box, then gave him the box. And on Christmas morning, I think. No, actually Christmas Eve morning. Christmas Eve morning, Miles opened it up and it was just the pipes. Yeah. And it was missing the sticks, the balls, the net, and the part that says New Jersey Devils. He literally opened up a box from old Uncle Joey that was white pipes.

Frankie didn't know when I got them either. So Frankie, when I got home, I was like, oh shit, everything that makes this a gift, I still have. You still had it, yeah. So I opened the box or I'm thinking, I'm like, they just opened up a bunch of white parts. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's weird because when kids get to a certain age, like Christmas is, you make it as magical for your kids, but it could be often overwhelming. Like it is like- A lot of gifts. A lot of gifts. Kids wake up at the

crack of dawn and like you just start bombarding them with shit do you guys go in order like everyone opens their no we try to like one at a time it you know but but it's not a free-for-all is what i'm saying no correct it's not a free-for-all because we want to see the kids you know open their gifts from stuff like that but it's it's overwhelming so like at a certain age and you'll see this when you have kids like like you kind of need to like train them when opening gifts from loved ones because like

Kids are very honest. And they'll open something and they'll go like, oh, I don't... They'll say, like, there have been times in the past, maybe not with Miles, but I've seen other kids opening something and just being like, oh, okay. Whack. You know, basically. So, like, Miles is really empathetic and he's really good at being like... Even if in the moment he's not excited about it, he's like, wow, this is awesome. I may have stumped him with pipes, though. He opened that and like...

I was laughing so hard. He was just like, uh, whoa. Um, you know, like the parent in me, like Beck and I are sitting there and we're just like, oh, what is that? Like, oh, this could that be, you know? And like, it's just white, just indiscriminate PVC pipes. There's yeah. It's literally just PVC. And we're just like, oh, okay. You know? And then. Yeah. Yeah.

We're like – and I didn't – because you had texted me laughing about this. Like, I didn't want to reach out to you and be like, what the hell is this? Because it comes off as insensitive. You know what I mean? Like, you're not going to be the one to get a gift and just be like, hey, by the way, what the fuck was that? So, like, we just, like – we're just like, oh, okay. We just, like, let it do its thing. And then you texted me. No, and the best part about this is that –

You were trying to do a nice thing. So when he was opening it, Frankie was taking pictures. But Frankie didn't send me those pictures. He sent them to me after I was like, dude, I fucked up and I didn't put all this shit in there. And then he sent me the pictures. I sent you the pictures of the girls opening their gifts. No, he sent me a picture of Miles opening my gift. But he had just started opening it. And I was thinking about this after the fact. I was like, you probably didn't send that to me because you were so confused that I gave your son pipes.

Yeah, he was a little confused. Like, I don't know. He was confused. I just, you know, like, again. That's so funny. It was very funny. It was actually, you know, like, Joey's being honest when he said we hadn't seen each other since the day before. So the 23rd. Yeah. And now the day we're recording, it's after New Year's. So almost two weeks. But it was an adventurous break. I did almost, I told you this right before we started recording. I did almost pass out in the shower. Mmm.

You know? Hold that thought. We have sponsors. We will find out what happens to you in the shower.

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Well, back to you. You said you were going to pass out. What did you say? Back to you. You don't remember what I said? Back to you. Back to you. You don't like pointing. You know what? Point away, babe. 2025. You can point at me.

That one felt... When you twist a point... That felt a little mudblood. This is so much worse than that. This... Actually, which is worse? This. This is kind of bad. That's like that person. That's like get that person. Like the minute... Oh, yeah, yeah. The minute it turns, it's just like, get him! Yeah, it's like you're a person and now it's like now you're a target. Now someone's after you. You're a target. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, you know, turning it makes it like... Oh, dude. It's crazy. It's crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. We're starting off this year...

Hot, hot, steaming. But speaking of steaming, I was in the shower. You're like real hot in the shower, don't you? I kind of do. Yeah. You know, that's probably why my skin is so dry. Why? Because you have really hot water? Yeah, baby. Look, I'm a little dry right now. I know. Here we go.

What? I thought you were going to lick your hands like a cat. No, no, no. They're not that dry right now. Actually, this one is. Yep, I know. But I'm in the shower and I was, I guess on TikTok or something, I saw that guy that I always talk about that annoys me. Yep. You're in the shower on TikTok? No, no, no, no. Before the shower. Got it. I saw that guy on TikTok that's just like,

The water is a putrid zero degrees today. And it's minus three outside. We're going to... You know, that guy that takes fucking cold plunges all the time. Cold plunges every day, yeah. Fuck him. Also good for him. But then I was thinking about, as I do in the shower, if I were to verbally berate someone that would take cold showers, which I have gotten very close before because there's a family member who tried to push me toward cold showers once. And then I was just like...

I kind of like started hyping myself up. And I was like, wait, no, I could do this if I wanted to, but I don't want to. You don't want to because someone's telling you to do it. Basically. Yeah. Nope. Not basically. Basically. Yes. Okay. Yes is the answer. And honestly, be honest with yourself. How many times have you just put yourself in the mindset of just like, I have no reason to do something, but like my own determination wants to see if I can do it. So I'm going to do it.

All the time, I think. Exactly. Yeah. That was what it was. It's just like, I'm not going to be one of those cold shower people, but like, I could do this if I wanted to. Okay. So I turned the shower, at the end of my shower, I was like, I'm going to count in my head. How long were you planning to do the cold shower? Until I couldn't take it anymore. Got it. I was like, I'm just going to count in my head and turn the water cold and see what happens. And you were in a steaming hot. Yeah. This is not an exaggeration. I started hyperventilating and almost passed out.

Could you have imagined if I passed out face down in a cold shower? Ass up. Frank. Could you imagine? I'm not kidding. This is going to sound fucked up. I'm ready for it. I wish that happened. Really? How funny would it be if that happened? If you were like, I had to come into the shower and she found me. Your asshole...

Can you imagine she had to find you with your bunghole wide open? Yeah, that would have... Well, first of all, I don't know how you think I shower. I don't shower with my asshole agape. No, I know that, but I'm saying, like, you just go down. So now you're just kind of, like, tooted up. I have openly thought about how bad it would be because Becca is...

Without exaggeration, half of my size. Right. So like, she can't get you out of there. Just imagine. Yeah, no. You know, like she's going to have to call someone. Maybe she could put like a little towel over her. Here's the thing. It would be bad if Becca found me, but I imagine that she would have to call her father, my father-in-law, to rescue me. Bro. That's way worse than Becca. Yep. First of all.

I'm hoping she would call 911 before she would call her dad. Me too. Let a fireman or a paramedic handle this. But also bad, dude. Yeah. I mean, at least like they've seen a bunch of butts in the shower. I don't need to add something to that one. I agree. And now I love my butt. Right. But I don't want, like, I feel like a passed out butt wouldn't look as good as like a well-lived living butt. Let's also not forget the space between.

Which is a great song by, uh, Dave Madden. The space between. I was talking about that. I forgot that song existed. That's such a good song. That's all I know. Yeah. I think that's all their songs though. The space between. Oh, I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I

So you almost went down. Yo, legit, like, I shut the water off. By the way, five seconds. It took you five seconds. Five seconds, I went, and I felt my heart rate, and I was just like, yo, I'm going to go down. And I just shut the water off as quick as I could. Did you sit down? Like, yo, let me just. I stayed, like, breathing. So do you have a newfound respect for people who cold plunge? No, they're still stupid to me. They're still dumb to me. I don't know. No, because, like.

I've heard it all. I've heard, oh, like the brown fat, you know, and all that shit. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Not only have I still think they're dumb, I probably have less respect for them. Okay. But I secretly have a lot of respect for them. I can tell. That's what the joke is here. Right. The joke. The joke. Yeah, I've done it before and almost passed out. The last time I went to the bathhouse, they have a...

cold plunge. Like a pool. And I was like, oh, let me try. Because I had never done a cold plunge before. That was the only time in my life that I've done it. And I got in like up to here. And I'm just like. How cold were you talking? I believe it was 30, 40, or 39 degrees. The water? Yeah. That's not bad. It's very bad. It's bad? Yep. Okay. Way colder than the water that you were in. Oh, 32 is freezing. Right. I thought we were going Celsius here. I was just like. Oh, so you thought I was in a hot tub. Yeah.

I was just like, wait a sec, that's not that hot. No, it was very cold, and I just stood still, and I was like, fudge, fudge, and I couldn't breathe. You were counting in German? Nein, nein! No, then I was staring at the clock, and then looking up made me dizzy, so I was like, I'm not going to look up, and I was just standing there, and then eventually I had to walk out of steps to get out.

And I was holding the pole. And then once I got out, I was like, oh, shit, I might go down. I think that's the closest I'll ever get to understanding what the people in Titanic went through. Because can you imagine? How cold was that? I think the same. They probably lost a lot of brown fat in that. Yeah, all of their life, a lot of them lost because of the hypothermia. Correct. You know, Jack, dude. Jack froze, dude. Yeah. You know.

I will say. Honestly, I'd probably rather be dead than like... I'm gonna float on a fucking door and become a brick. I'd rather be swimming with a fish. Yeah. At a certain point, this is probably not true. But you know when you go in a pool and then you go outside and you're like, oh, it's so cold. I'd rather stay in the water. Does the water...

Is the water better than, yeah, the water has to be better than being outside. I mean, I imagine the combination of the two is not good. Yeah. You know, like if they were dry on that door, she might have had, like, I mean, she's, you know, we're also talking about a fictional movie. Right. She might have been good, but like the combination of being wet and then on that door. Right. Not a good combination. I would, I would imagine. I would imagine. I don't like that.

How cold is the Arctic Ocean? It was the Arctic, correct? No, no, no. It was the Atlantic. It was the Atlantic. If they were in the... Yeah. Well, the Arctic, I tell you this right now, very cold. Well, it was January too, right? Wait. Look up when the Titanic went down. Okay. When it dipped. How cold? How cold? Why are you Christopher Walken now? How cold? How cold is the Atlantic? How cold is the water? Did you hear what I did? That was the worst thing.

How cold was the water when the Titanic sank? Here we go. Ooh, baby. 28. How is it not icy cold? Oh, it's saltwater, baby. That's right. But also, there was a berg that they hit. It was ice. It's saltwater, so that's why it doesn't freeze over. I didn't even know that was true. Saltwater doesn't freeze at the same temperature as regular water, baby. You know?

This near freezing temperature Would have led to Rapid onset of hypothermia Yeah For anyone in the water Oh yeah Impact on survival That's why when people do Those polar plunges I'm just like Yo you guys are crazy I've done a polar plunge Crazy I did it When my brother lived in Long Beach They do one On Super Bowl Sunday So I went and did it

Hey, man. I jumped in that water and I came out. Look at me. White. Red. Yeah? My body immediately was like beet red. Well, it's funny because the way the earth is moving, if you believe certain scientists, polar plunges are not as bad because the day of the polar plunge, it'll be like 60 degrees out. Oh, yeah, maybe. That's crazy, though. 28 degrees Fahrenheit, dude. That's a little chilly. I would have not done well on the Titanic. Yeah, you probably would have died. I would have hated the Titanic.

I would have hated being on the Titanic. Yeah, I imagine for a couple reasons you would have hated it. Yeah. How do you drive into an iceberg, bro? Like, be responsible. Well, no, that's the thing is there have been scientists that have come out and said, like, if they had hit the thing head on, there would have been damage to the hull, but they would have been able to complete the journey. But the fact that they tried to, like...

maneuver away from the iceberg is what ended up doing them in. So basically they're like, like, don't be a fucking, don't be a fucking bitch, dude. Like hit that shit head on dog. So it's kind of like when you see a deer, it's like, yo, speed up, hit that fucking deer. I've never heard that one. Yeah. They're like, yo, you're supposed to speed up.

Really? Apparently. Oh, all right. Cool. And I just, I wouldn't do that. Like I would see a deer and I'm like, I would do anything but hit this deer. Dude, speaking of, Becca and I watched a movie and I'm not going to spoil it. Have you seen Juror Number Two? No. With Nicholas Holt? It's on Max. Dude, watch it. It's good? It's really good. Does he kill a deer in it? Dreamy guy. No, no. Just watch the movie. Really? Dreamy dude. Yeah. You know,

You don't think so? He does look like a pinky with eyes on him, but he's got like... He reminds me of Benedict Cumberbatch a little. And they both remind me of Gumby, which is not a bad thing. Remember Gumby? Yeah. You know? So why are you saying dreamy? He's got good eyes.

He's a good looking dude. Maybe the show is making you attracted to this man. But also directed by Clint Eastwood. How? How is that guy alive? How, dude? How is Clint Eastwood alive? And like, this is the thing. He looks like a cigarette. What?

He looks like a worm from Men in Black. Legitimately a lizard was what I was going to say. Yeah, he looks like those worms from Men in Black. And his face has looked old from the day he was born, too. Yeah, he's looked at least 70 his whole life, but now he looks double. You ever think about that? Where it's like, yo, my entire life. Our entire life. That's a long time. Yeah. We're not super young. Snap of a finger for him. Morgan Freeman and Clint Eastwood.

Dude, Jack. You guys have fucking been old friends. Regis Phil. I mean, he's dead now. He's gone. He's been gone. Regis Phil been too. I was like, bro, this guy's been fucking old as fuck forever. Dude, Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson. Well, he looks like a, you know what Jack Nicholson looks like? There's a certain type of penguin that I don't know, but you know the ones that kind of look like they have hair? It's a little blonde. Yeah, dude. They're all like, kind of like they're big and fat and they're like. I know what you're talking about. That's Jack Nicholson. Because that movie surfs up.

Where like John Cena's a penguin and surfs with penguins in the Bahamas or something. And the surf is up. Yeah. Yeah, and kind of like that's what he looks like to me. He does. He does a little bit. But like that always fucks me up because I'll be like they had a whole career before I was even born. Right. And then now they're just like

Who they are You know Jack Nicholson He's probably It for him this one Who Jack Nicholson Oh my god He's up there By the thread he's hanging He's up there Yeah dude Yeah I mean Not only is he up there But he's Visually up there Oh I haven't seen him Cause I don't watch A lot of basketball Well he I feel like That sounds like He's playing in the game

I imagine that the most like recent photo of him has been of him in a Lakers game. Well, apparently he... Which also, traitor, bitch, from Jersey. I typed in Jack Nicklaus. Jack Nicklaus. Who is still alive? What the fuck? Yeah. How do you spell Jack Nicklaus? N-I-C-H. I got it, I got it. Big guy's 87. He's got a... Maybe, you know what?

Finish the sentence for a flip out maybe like maybe four or five more years at him, dude. He's born in 1937 yeah, dude, isn't that weird? I feel like that's when they invented the coin like that's how far away that before that But like he might have existed before like sliced bread when was sliced bread when was sliced bread invented?

1928. Okay, basically the same time. First of all, the person who invented sliced bread, their name is Otto Rowetter.

Here's the thing about back in the day. Go for it. People were named dumb shit. Mm-hmm. You know, and not just their first names. Their last names were dumb. Oh, yeah. How did we get rid of... No one's named that. I hope not. No one is named that. I hope they aren't. And if they are, I hope that they get rid of the last name. And how do you invent something like sliced bread and your family just isn't well-known? Here's the thing that... And this is a legit question. How the fuck did someone not think of sliced bread before him? I think they just were just like...

Just rip it. But like, there is, I will say, ripping bread is way cooler than slicing bread. You know, just being like, yo, you want? Like when we did that shoot, I don't want to say where or when, but keep your eyes out. We did. We were ripping bread. We were ripping some bread. I like ripping bread. I like it because then you wipe it and you're a big food wiper. We know that about you. Yeah, I like wiping it. I know. Remember all those times you said that you didn't and you tried gaslighting me? No, you missed.

made up a story that for some reason you believe and I'm willing to say... I didn't make it up. I remember so clearly you putting duck sauce on a plate and wiping chicken through it. I remember. I remember. Wait, wiping... Wait, that's not the story that I remember. What do you remember? Wait, what are you talking about? Wiping chicken? You're talking about dipping chicken? Yeah, but you wouldn't just dip. You would put...

Because it's flat on a plate. Criminal. You put dips in something round and deep, whether it be a shot glass or- Frank, I'm in my house. In a- Frankie. What? You eat at home, and if you have a side, like a thing of ketchup, you put it in a shot glass? Yes, if I need to. Because here's the- What do you think, that's normal? Here's the laws of sauces. The laws of sauces. Lawses. If you don't have the proper container to dip-

Or a lot of sauces now will come in dippable containers that you can just toss out. Frank, I'm in my house. If you don't, you drizzle on top. No. Those are the rules. Yes, bitch. No. Yes, bitch. No, I put my sauce on the side and then after a while, because it like spreads. Criminal. Exactly. That's what happens. Then that's why you were a wipe master general with your food. That's why it was so stupid. People dip that way. It's stupid. I'm telling you they do, but I know it's dumb. Judgmental. Yep. Bitch. No.

That hit so perfectly. That was a really good bitch. That was a really good bitch. Nothing's better than a bitch that hits really hard. Dude, a well-placed bitch is so great. Yeah. So great. Go get to these ads. I know. When you could just be, when the B comes out so good, bitch. Yes. That was bad. See, the last one was good. Well, the B needs to pop a little. Yeah. You know, like a real good, like,

Bitch! Like a Harry Potter. Oh, you want to get racist like Malfoy, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Potter! Chill, bro. It's a hard P. He can't be doing that. He was dropping hard Ps. Yeah, he was. And his dad, forget about it. Yeah. Me and Miles are almost done with our rewatch. We're on the very, very last movie. Yeah. His dad who looks like his mom from behind. Yo, I'm going to say something crazy here. Is this going to piss me off? Maybe, but get to the ads first. Okay.

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And Frank, what the heck were you about to say that was going to make me pissed? So I was talking to our buddy Scott recently, and we were talking about Harry Potter and all that, Hogwarts Legacy, the game, which I haven't finished. I'm actually going to go back and read. There's a new one coming, right? I think they said that they're going to make the second one, but there's been a bunch of weird stuff about when it's actually coming. But he said, and this is not an example, he said that he prefers Slytherin over Gryffindor.

And I was like, so you prefer... That kid's an asshole. Thank you so much. God damn it. Piece of shit, yeah. Like, you prefer, like, just be like... What about it is cool? Well, the green and black. What was wrong with the color scheme, dude? Yeah. You get those two guys, their name are like Barf and Gargoyle. What was the name? Crab and Goyle. Crab and Goyle. That sucks. Barf and Gargoyle, yeah.

Yeah, that's right. I'm confusing that with Spaceballs, but his name is Barf. But yeah, like what the fuck is cool about that? And he's just like, and then he was just like, also Malfoy's the coolest. I was like, bro, get the fuck out of here. Malfoy is a fucking dweeb, bro. He's a little bitch. Malfoy would be cooler if he was just like an asshole through the whole thing, but he turns into a puss. And here's why he said this, because he named his character in fucking...

Hogwarts Legacy? Oh, let me... Mean... Mean Guy 129? What is it? Scott Malfoy. Scott! What are you doing? I was like, that's like naming yourself Eva Braun. You know what I mean? What are we doing here? You remember Eva Braun, obviously. I don't know how that is. She was the girlfriend to Hitler. And he goes, no, don't disrespect Draco. He goes, Slytherins were the flyest. Yo! Scott Malfoy? That's insane, dude! That... I... I...

I'm trying to like I don't even know that's an insane thing just like Gryffindor's cool it and like people are gonna say well like well if you go on Pottermore and like you get your like you get sorted by the hat Oh Gryffindor's first of all cool animal lions you know color scheme Harry Potter Ron Weasley coolest robes easily

Also, Slytherin's like third. I would say Hufflepuff sucks. Yeah, Hufflepuff sucks. Number two is Ravenclaw. The name is so sick. Sick. Ravenclaw. Yeah, I love that. What color are they? Purple. Like that. And that's your favorite color? Yeah. What's that? Yeah.

I'll tell you this right now. When I played the Harry Potter video game and the sorting hat went on my head, I'm like, if this isn't Gryffindor, I'm going to cut my own head off. And if it puts me in Hufflepuff, I'm going to cut my head off and I'm going to step on it with the last few seconds. I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest. So if you don't get placed in the proper house, you can ask to move. Right. Like in the game. They put me in Ravenclaw. The hardest switch, dude. The hardest switch to Gryffindor. Yeah, I want to go back and play that game now. Go do it. Go and do it. I'll just get on a hippogriff and be like...

Love that game. Fuck. Yeah. But I couldn't believe when he was just like, Slytherin's got the most drip. I think he was just going off the color scheme, which don't get me wrong. I like the color green. Purple. If we're going off color scheme. What? If we're going off color scheme. Ravenclaw is the coolest. Yeah. Ravenclaw's cool. But we can all agree across the board. I'm sorry if there are any Pottermore nerds out there. Hufflepuff sucks. Sucks, dude. And your founder's name was Helga? Ugh. Ravonna. Ravonna.

What's that? Ravonna Ravenclaw. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a... Yo, that's a sexy name. Hell yeah. Ravonna. Yeah. And even Gryffindor's name. Godric? Yeah, that's kind of cool. You know? Yo, his nickname is God, bro. Or Rick. That's so less cool than God, Frank. Or Rick.

You have the option to have the nickname God or Rick and you go with the name that sounds like you work in an office, like just an office space. I think that speaks to who me and you are internally. You're Rick and you think you're God. I don't think I'm God. My name's God. Oh, people can call me God. Call me God, everyone. Oh, people. I'm so sick. People can call me God. Your name's Godrick and you're like, just call me Rick. All right, dude.

Or Godric. Just call me my full name. You don't need to, you know. Yeah. But full names are losers. Remember all those losers we knew that grew up on Long Island that would just be like, anytime they talk about someone, they'd be like, oh, that's Stephanie Miller? It's like, just use their name. They do that. Stephie. Lil' Steph. Yeah. Well, I'm trying to think of if we know anyone who goes by their full name. I don't know anyone who goes by their full name.

I mean, Greg, whenever he walks into the room, he says, he's like, I am Gregory Dybeck. Yeah. Oh, no. Greg's a nickname. Yeah. Yeah. But he reminds us, like, whenever he talks, because a lot of people don't know this about Greg. He speaks in the third person. So, like, we'll be like, yo, like, anyone hungry? And he'll say, he'll be like, Gregory Dybeck wants some white rice. Gregory, also Gregory Dybeck, left a bunch of little snacks in my backseat.

Which I just found today. I looked behind me and there's a little packet of cashews and there's another little packet of crushed pretzels. Yeah. He also left me garbage in my backseat the last time he was there. He's very garbage-leaving. He ate sunflower seeds and just spit the shells on the seat. No, he didn't. Bro, there were shells everywhere where he was sitting. What a pig. What a fucking pig. Yeah, and honestly...

It's really weird. I don't know if you guys have friends like this, but Greg legitimately can't go anywhere without having... You would think it's medical. It isn't. It's just... Psychopathy. He always has little snacks on him, dude. He's like a bird. He is like a bird. And they're not like snacks that would get someone to a satisfied level of hunger. It's just like a little... Yeah, and that's the thing too. So if he eats cashews, he's usually eating them with both hands. And he did. He'll literally be like this. He'll be like...

It's like, yo, bro, it's just a pretzel, my guy. Like he's a fucking raccoon or something. He eats, Greg eats like a raccoon. No dairy, little claws. Yeah. And he speaks in the third person. But instead of eating garbage, he leaves it in your backseat. Yes, that is correct. So that's our friend Gregory the raccoon. 2025 is going to be the year we expose Greg for the fucking raccoon he is. Stop talking about the year. I'm over it. No. No.

So you don't understand, Joey. Here we go. Here's what you don't understand. Tell me. You don't understand that 2025, whether it be, you know, like the reason that people like doing that toward the beginning of the year is because it is a passing of the torch from your former self to your future self, whom you've wanted to be and who you are currently trying to become. Can I say I am shocked that you subscribe to that?

I don't subscribe to it as much Like I But I I am aware that people use it As kind of like a spiritual Like restart And I I respect it Because I respect people So do you or do you not? You wanted to be called God No I didn't See See See

No, I'm saying I am not, although I don't subscribe to that, I understand people do it. I let them do it. I let them do it. That was filth. If you don't... Those dirty raccoons that eat with both hands. If you don't subscribe to it and I don't, then we're on the same team. And then you're telling me, here's what you don't understand. But you don't even subscribe to it. You know why? You know why? No opinions. I don't know why that made sense. You know why? You know why?

2025 with love You keep saying that but I haven't seen it Love and joy and happiness Just not for Slytherin What? Dude, use a condom Just be safe when you're fucking Draco, alright? Scott Malfoy Boy, do I have a fun text message going out as soon as this episode is done Just let him know like, hey We might have talked about you a little bit It's alright, it's okay

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that would be like Joe Potter, which is nuts. Yeah. Which I would say, Scott, I'll do you a favor here. Scott Malfoy, although it's probably a little worse, it's not that much worse than me just making my name Joe. Joe Senegato, yeah. I remember my guy's name was like Frank-

Something. Like it was a fun, whimsical name. Not Joe Santagata. Oh, you were like Frank Twisters. Whoa. Not really good off the top of my head. 2025, a hot start for Joe. No, it was like- A wizard's name. It was like Jingleforth or something. Like something like- Frank Jingleforth? Something whimsical and fun. Yeah, yeah. And my guy was-

He had cool stuff? I want to show you a picture because I recently sent this. You have a picture of your Harry Potter character on your, like, handy? Good looking dude. Come on. You're going to tell me this guy doesn't got the fucking drip? Look at that, baby. What do you think? You know what's funny to think about? I like my outfits drippy, bro. I'm still digesting what you just said, dude. That was really bad.

You want to try that? Say it again. No, no, no. Say it again and we won't laugh. Say it again. Say it in a straight face and I'm not going to laugh. Go. You got to laugh. Okay, go. I'm not laughing. Me neither. I like my outfits. Drippy, bruh. I'm in lockstep with what the kids are laughing about nowadays. What is that? You know? Lockstep. What's lockstep? You know? When you're with them. You're walking together. That's how I walk.

Hey, hey, kids. So bad. Walk like we're in High School Musical. I like my outfits drippy, bruh. We should end there, right? Uh, no. No. I think that we should bury that a little bit. If anything, I like my outfits drippy, bruh. How much time, be honest, did you spend on your Harry Potter character's outfit? Yep.

All the time. Yeah, all of the time. Because you can get really cool. Here's the thing. The cool gear that you could get, it looks stupid. So what you could do, as I figured out, is that you can equip the cool gear that gives you all the buffs, but you can make it look like something else. Frank.

I did that. Yeah, bitch. So I got like, you know, like a legendary, mythical, Godric Gryffindor hat and Ravonna Ravenclaw's high heels. Don't ask me why my guy's in high heels. Maybe it's just something that he wants to do, you know? But I'm like, all right, you know. But you make it just like black boots though. Make it look chill. Hell yeah. But you're like, yo, this gives me plus 13 health.

Hell yeah. But they just look like black boots. Hell yeah. You know? You know what? I'm going to restart that game. As soon as I'm done, I'm still on my cod wave right now. Yeah, I want to get back into that. But isn't it funny how like...

I'm picturing some like dude being like, oh, don't play with dolls. Like accessorize accessorizing dolls is fucking gay and like whatever. But then you get on Harry Potter and you're like, oh, I hope I have a nice cape. Yeah. Yeah. Which is exactly what I did. That's what I'm saying. Need a really nice cape. Good capes. 2025 is the year of just exposing the hypocrisy of that, you know, classification of people that think that it's like not cool to collect toys or drink a lot of tea.

Yeah. You're the perfect mascot to be defending that. Thank you. Yeah. What? Thank you. I wonder how much crossover there is between people who love tea and people who love collecting toys. There's probably a lot of people. The world may never know.

Could just ask ChatGPT, which I've been heavy on asking it things. Well, maybe don't ask artificial intelligence because it could not be accurate sometimes. Maybe just do your own research, Joe. I'd just be typing it into Google, which was technically also like... You can find peer-reviewed articles. Peer-reviewed articles about tea? Metadata searches and stuff like that. Metadata searches. Really understand the...

way that they were able to decipher this data and apply it to real life, make sure that the study was done with a well-represented group of

Members of the society Oh society again That was about the 14th society you dropped this episode I appreciate you being here I'm leading 2025 with love You seem like you have a lot of animosity today You called me a bitch earlier And I gave you a bitch back You gave me the hardest bitch anyone's ever given You bitched me hard I wasn't planning on bitching that hard But I don't regret it Honestly it was a good one don't regret it I'm allowing you to not regret that one Bitch

All right. Anyway, that's all for this week's episode. Sorry, folks. Frank, where can they find you? Hogwarts Legacy. Gryffindor Common Room. Look up Frank Jingle Bust. What was it? I don't remember. I'll have to look up my name, but it was whimsical. Yeah. It was fun.

But yeah, and then you go find me elsewhere. Go to Patreon. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Thanks. Love you guys. 2025, let's rock and roll, baby. You had to throw in one more 2025. You guys can go follow me at JoeSanagato. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at TheBasementYard. And that is all. See you guys next time.