#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!
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That song's been in my head for like a year. You just sang it before we started recording, and I figured I might as well start with that. I literally, like for a year, this has been in my head. You know what I completely forgot about until I was recently listening to my 2007 hits? Yes. Remember The Dream? The American Dream? Yeah, dude. Love your girl, little mama so fly. Love your girl, radio killer. Yeah, you remember? Yeah, dude. This is great. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

There's a bootleg-ass Neo, though. Neo's stuck around because... Fedoras. They keep them in. I think the Dream War of Fedora... Remember when it was like a huge deal that were like, yo, Neo took the fedora off. He's bald. I don't remember that. You don't know that? I remember... See, this is something that I'm glad you brought up. Neo being bald? Fedoras. Oh, I'm not. You are. I'm not talking. We're gonna. Fedoras were like a thing at one point.

And then, no, no, no, not just me. They were across the globe a thing. Like people were wearing fedoras like. With old Cuban men in Miami. No, Jason Mraz was doing it. Oh, and yeah, them. Like Ashley Tisdale, you know. Ashley Tisdale. And then like also like lumineers, people who dress like lumineers. Yes, exactly. Like the band Fun. And then you. I'm just.

I'm just saying, like, people look back on it, and now fedoras have come to a place where they are a joke, where it's like, m'lady, you know, like, you know, hmm, you know, like a Redditor. I think if I'm looking at a fedora, I don't think they're that bad.

I think it's like when it's the accessory to the rest of the outfit, it's like, what are we doing? Well, I think – well, that's what a fucking hat literally is. No, but that's what I'm saying. But like as a single thing I'm looking at, I'm like, oh, okay. This is like a hat. I think we have come to a place now where like fedoras found their lane and it's in older Hispanic men. Like I think we can all agree that people in their late teens like me –

Wearing fedoras is a mistake. It was a mistake. But it also worked well for me. Like, I was past my fitted phase. I was in a weird... It was right before the snapback phase. You were trying to find your footing. I had to reestablish. You know, Joey, we've talked about this openly and honestly. I've been a trendsetter. I am at the forefront of most fashion trends by design. Not even by design. By coincidence is what I'm trying to say.

I start wearing something and then it gets popular. Fedoras. Fedoras. Hawaiian shirts. Snapbacks. It was me.

You are credited with the snapback. Are you insane? I think I, and why are you looking at me like that? I think I deserve a lot of credit for the comeuppance of snapbacks. Comeuppance. I do like that word. You can translate that. 2011, 2012. Did you make that up? Because I like it. Comeuppance. I didn't come up with comeuppance. Comeuppance had its comeuppance prior to me. Is it a word? I'm just continuing the comeuppance.

I feel like I'm not getting an answer. Now, laborious, I fully take credit for that, and I think you can attest that laborious was only made— it was brought back into the stratosphere of popularity because— To annoy me, and it worked. I don't— And it did work. Why does it annoy you? Why did it annoy you, I should say? Because I think at this point, you're not annoyed by it.

Hold on, before we go any further, by the way, guys, tickets are on sale right now. Go to TheBasementYard.com, go get yourself some tickets, come to one of our shows. We are very excited to get out there on the road. It's going to be a fun year. Okay, we have a lot of cool stuff planned. But yeah, go get your tickets at TheBasementYard.com. If you already bought tickets also...

Go to thebasementyard.com slash submit and submit to those prompts because, you know, that's like a little section of our show where we like to do some interaction with you guys. And usually there's a lot of psychos out there, which is great. It's good for us. We, you know, we had so much fun last year and in Europe. And now we're excited because we're back in the States. We're back. Boom. Back in the not New York.

What are you doing? Wherever the city is. Back in the groove. Oh, yeah. We're back. There's so many songs we could sing. Boys are back in town. Right. Back in black. Back in, well. Yeah, no. I don't think that works.

I just think of back Motown Philly back again We can walk out to that in Philly Okay You know what I'm talking about Yeah Is that boys to men? Yes Okay Backstreet's back Backstreet's back But we're not Backstreet We're basement Base The basement Backstreet's back

Doesn't hit as well. Can I make one suggestion? And I'm not going to say when it might be, but if you guys come to the show, maybe if this works, you'll see it. This should be good. What if the Walk On and Walk Off song is a song, a popular song, but I sing it? Or we do Ant's little outros on the Santa Gata Studios fucking videos.

All right. So like, give me, do you still do that? Yeah. Give me a really like a walk off song or walk on song that we've used that you like.

What did we just walk on to? Well, TV off, which I don't think I'm the right person to do. Frank, do that. No, no, no. Do a Kendrick Lamar song, Frank. I don't think I'm going to do that one. I don't know. What do you do? Disco Inferno. I can do Disco Inferno. One, two, three. Let's go. Little mama, show me what you're moving. Can you imagine hearing- Go ahead. Get your back in two. Wait. Hearing that-

Hearing that would be hilarious. How funny would it be if it's like, Ahmed is just like, you know, doing his, getting us ready. Or we do it for Ahmed's song, we don't tell him. Oh my God. He's like, yo, whatever song you've been going out to. If like, cause he walks out to like, I don't even know. You know, last year was like, he did like, not like us a couple times. Yeah. He did a, he did a Drake song once or twice. Um,

But like, imagine if like, he's like ready to get hype. And then it's just like, ooh, ah, ooh, ah. It's like,

A song like that? I think we should do this. This would be great. We should get them every single show, just do a different song. We should do it, but like, what song? Like, what would be a good song? Some whack-ass like. It could be like. Not hype song. The chicken dance. That's a good one. Or like an actual song that he would pick. Sarah McLachlan. The lights are going crazy. The lights are going crazy.

But he'd come off and he'd get pissed off. He'd be like... 100%. It's tough. Fucked up. Your set starts at 10 minutes. I needed an actual song that he would walk onto. And then you would redo it? Yeah. It'd be a toughie. I think it'd be really funny, though. It'd be funny. Not as funny as me getting a front row seat to the greatest interaction I've ever seen in my life. I was so proud of my dog this morning. Oh. Frank, one of the greatest...

Charlie did good. Yeah, he did good boy. Listen to the morning that my dog had my dog goes outside Yep, any of this involve bodily fluids Frank horse. Oh Of course it does. Okay. Here's what this dog does right? I take my dog out for a walk this morning There's a little white dog like around him and they're sniffing and blah blah blah They're sniffing the same tree hate little dogs. My dog lifts his leg and

and is peeing and then the white dog gets in the stream, gets pissed on. My dog has pee that's like radioactive. It's yellow as yellow as hell. And like, it's a clear streak. And I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And she goes, it's okay, whatever the owner. Then he walks over, gets in a pooping position, farts like a fat man. And then diarrhea comes out the color of a Timberland boot.

It was an electric morning. It was insane, dude. Just gets down, pisses on a dog, walks over, farts, and then water fountain of shit. It was nuts. It was crazy. That's the whole morning. Dude had a blowout. You've been there. You're a dad.

With humans? Right. With humans. That's what I'm saying. You've been around diarrhea. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Yeah. Before we started recording, Joey goes... Before you ask, by the way, I put the bag on my hand and I walked over and I went to the air. I was like... Yeah. So it looked like I threw something up and I didn't pick anything up. That's a great question. What do you do if your dog sprays shit? That's just part of the earth now. What am I going to get? A fucking turkey baster and pick it up?

Oh, God. Fuck. I can't do that. I just walk away. That's disgusting. I go over and I make it seem like I'm picking something up. So I'm like, oh. I mean, at least, yeah, at least show the effort. I mean, you know, the mens rea there is the idea that, like, you're trying. Like, you didn't have the wrongful mind. I get it. I hear what you're saying. I didn't want anyone who's looking at me from, like, a balcony or something being like, this guy didn't even make it. Well, yeah. Now you're, you know, our show is popular. People know you anytime you go out. What if someone sees, like, oh, my God, Joe Sinegott.

He didn't pick up his dog shit. Yeah, I gotta get over that. He didn't pick up... Bro, you'd be done for. Yeah. Then you'd be known as Joe Santagato, podcaster, male model, slash not picker-upper of shitter. I also complain about that a lot for other people. Like, I don't like... Yeah, you can't be part of the problem. No, I can't. But, I mean, if it's... I'm pretty sure... I can't do anything about that. Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. He was specifically... I thought that was Will Smith. Mentioning...

People that don't pick up their dog shit. I mean, he probably wasn't not. It's a very universal, it's a blanket statement. It could mean anything. So it could be about, you know, philanthropic work. It could be about, you know, just being kind human beings, loving, passionate, compassionate, empathetic. And then your dog absolutely just paying

painting the fucking sidewalk brown it was a it was a grass patch but he also painted that dog with radioactive yellow piss it was crazy how does it how does that owner let that dog get there like was he on or off the leash bro if i saw a dog pissing my dog's going there i'm i'm pulling the reins well they were both just like like interacting and like i take them off the leash and like usually people around there do because it's like off the street

So it's like they would have to just take off in order to get to the street. So they let dogs interact and stuff like that. Bro, that dog takes off. It's gone. Your dog. My dog? Yeah, no. He's not going anywhere, though. He's got too much anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. My sensitive stomach. I can't run too much. Well, yeah. I mean. It's sensitive, all right. I saw that this morning. Here's the thing. Anytime you bring up this dog on this show. His stomach is a Pisces. Just like me. Sensitive.

Yo. Thank you for laughing. We've said some dumb things on this show. That's by far my least favorite thing you've ever said. The horoscope? Yeah. What's the difference between a horoscope and a zodiac? I think the horoscope is like the messaging that goes along with the zodiac sign. I thought there were different signs? Well, no. I think the zodiac is the sign, and then the horoscope is just like...

Today a Pisces is going to show their real power. And it's like, okay. You're going to meet someone and you just got to be open to receiving what you are meant to receive because otherwise you won't. Look, if you're into it, I support you. Do your thing. But just like if – and I'm pretty sure we've brought this up before. But like if you meet someone new and they – don't ask their sign within –

If you're... Listen, I'm gonna give you guys... Here we go. Dating advice with Frank. Here we go. Okay. Take it from me. I don't know how I secured my wife. I didn't secure her. She's not my possession. Maybe she is. I don't know. I don't write the law. Maybe she is. I have no idea. But if you're... If you are into horoscopes... Yeah. You don't bring it up until third date. Third date.

If I'm on a, bro, if I'm on a first date with someone. And they want to know your horoscope. And they're like immediately like, what are you? I'm like. Hispanic? Yeah. Like what? There's. Either way you're asking, I don't like here. But like, if they're just like, you're Leo. Like whatever. There's no. Like, I just, at a first impression, I think like it's a little intense. Is Becca into horoscopes? I feel like she would be.

Really? I mean, like, I think, like, super passively... It's not like her religion. Yeah, no, no. Like, if she read something and she's like, oh, that's interesting, but, like, she's not gonna, like, on a daily occurrence read it. I'll be honest with you about this, right? When it comes to horoscopes or whatever the fuck, I'm like, this is obviously a crock of shit. But then...

When they fit? When they fit to like, ooh, Pisces, they're creative. I'm like, okay, that's vague. And they're very sensitive. And I'm like, what the hell? What the fuck? How the fuck does it know me? The reason I hate it is because

And I don't hate it. I don't want to say that. It's a bit strong. The reason I really, really, really dislike it is I remember any time I've met someone that's into it and they find out I'm a Leo, it's a giant reaction from them. They're just like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I'm just like, take it back with the oh, yeah. Now you know you can just hit them with that roar. If someone asks you, you just roar in their face. Do you remember? Yeah, right? Do you remember? This was like 2015. Oh, wow.

Which is 10 years ago. Isn't that crazy? Oh my God. Yeah. That's a decade ago. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that bananas? Bro, 2020 was five years ago. That's insane. So do you remember when we went out to McCann's and I just like struck up a conversation with a girl at the bar and she was like,

Reading my energy. Do you remember that? Wait, was this like an old woman? No, she was a younger woman. Oh. But like, then she was like, I'm going to read you my poetry. Now I remember. Do you remember that? Bro, we were sitting and like, it was not like a conversation like, oh, let me go get this girl at the bar. That was, you know, that me, that was never my like approach. Right. But she was like, at one point in conversation, she was like, I

Do you mind? I'm like, mind what? She's like, just like, do you mind just putting your hand out like this? And I was like, like that? She's like, yeah. I was like, okay. And she goes, I was like, what was that? She's like, I'm reading your energy. And then I fully bought in. I was just like, did you feel it?

You know, just like I started something. I mean, come on. Yeah. Frank Frank was back. Yeah. I mean, an opportunity like that presents itself. And then I have like, I don't think I have it, but like I had the conversation like in our group chat. I told you guys about like what she said, what she was saying. And she was like, do you mind if I read you my poetry? And she's a pretty intense first meeting, bro. But like, that's what I'm saying. If you're into it, good for you. I support you. It's your thing. Have it.

To yourself. Yeah. Wait until a couple dates in to introduce it. Dude, do you remember? This is all so funny because this happened at bars that we would go to when we were like underage. McCann's, by the way, which was. All right, P. It's gone.

But also the last place you would expect someone to read your energy. It's just a divy Irish pub. Where our friend fell down the stairs and cracked his skull open. On my birthday. Yeah. And that was when my grandmother died around that time. Oh, good for her. A lot to celebrate. Yeah. I'm kidding. Oh, God. A lot to celebrate. So close to Mother's Day. I remember one time I was at Dimar Station and I ordered sliders.

And the place is called Dimar Station, also RIP. I loved that place. It was a pretty cool spot. Hated how the bathroom was up 40 flights of stairs. What the fuck was that about? Jesus, I just want to take a piss. I don't need to work out. It's ridiculous. But anyway, I ordered sliders and they brand the top of them with this logo that says DS. And I was eating one of them. The other one was on a plate. And this older woman walked by and just went,

Dick suck. I went, what? She goes, dick suck, D-S, dick suck. And then walked away. What was that? Crazy. And I was like, I'm literally 20. Bro, like...

Astoria now is kind of known as a pretty young, hip, vibrant nightlife spot. But the bars back in 2011, 2012, before it boomed into what it is now, it was like McCann's, Dipmar's Station, and Rocky's. And they were...

The biggest pieces of shit. I can, in hindsight, listen, I hated Rockies because it was like where like the worst of the neighborhood went. But like, I can also fully acknowledge that Ditmar Station was that, but just slightly, it had karaoke. Also this place. That's the only difference. Karaoke. And it was, you would get characters there because you would, you would get a,

It's right below the train. Yeah. So people before they got on the train or after the train, they would just come in there. It was like you get creatures in there. And they didn't card. So we were going there at like 17, 18, 19. I went on a double date there one time. Yes, I did. And I'm there with my mom. You were with your mom.

Sitting with- and here's the funny thing, the way that the place was set up is you walk in, the bar is right here, and it's skinny, and it's all bench seating, and then there's like a back area, there's like a back area, but that's like toward the back of the place. You have to go through the whole runway. It's literally a runway. So I'm sitting there, underage, with my mom. Alright, we'll say that. You already said it. You were with your mom. No, no, I actually think at the time we were of age, because I remember it was-

We- yeah. The girl I went to high school with. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So I was of age. Got you, ma. Um... But I remember it was like the only place to sit was directly across from where you guys were. So I saw you and these two girls and then the other person that was with you on the date and it was just so funny because I'm talking to my mom. And then across...

And it was crazy. By the way, that girl also tried to fight me in sixth grade. Oh. And there was...

I'm not going to say that. She was a character. I have a story about her that I will not say. Also, not the person that I was on a date with. Also, I want to say this. Never saw either of them again. Yeah, I wonder what ever happened to them. I have no idea. I really was into the girl. I don't know. This is the first time I ever met her. It was her friend. Her friend. Not the one. The one you went to high school with. I know. It was the crazy one. Yeah. And her friend was very quiet. I think her friend was like...

Was her name like something with like a precious stone or something like that? No, it was an interesting name though. I remember the name. I think it might have been because the other girl. I'm sorry. This is us here. Forget this. Forget this. I think she was Egyptian.

Yes. Okay. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, that was an interesting date. Oh, man. The good old days. The good old days. Can I ask you a serious question? And a lot of people have said this. Like, I remember I said this out loud, which doesn't surprise you because you often hate what I say. When you hit 21, did it kind of make drinking less fun? That's a wild thing to say. I don't think so.

I think it was fine because like I feel like you could only go to like a few places when you're underage that you're like, oh, do they card or do they have a look? Yeah, but like it was so much cooler. It was cool to be like, oh, man, yeah. It's just like you got in. They're not asking at the door. But I was also afraid to order drinks.

Never in a million years. My mentality was always like walk in, act like you own the place. Yeah. And it worked. Yeah. I mean, once you're in, you're like, all right, I'm good. I was like young going to bars. Yeah. And like the mentality that I always had was literally like the idea of like walk in, pretend like you own the place, and then, you know.

You know, be a regular. How you doing, chief? It's like, you're 14. Get the fuck out of here, dude. In hindsight, looking back on it, I've seen pictures of me at 15, 16 years old.

I thought I was the coolest person in the world because I was just like, they believe it. Were we in bars at 16? I can with confidence say I was. I don't know if I was. Not like every weekend, but like on the occasion. I think 18 is when I started going to places. Well, our sisters are several years older than us. Your sister didn't really drink. No, she still doesn't. My sister drank enough for both of them. Got it.

So you would go to places with her. So like I would go to places and she would always, she would get in and then she'd say I was her twin brother. And it was like what I remember when she, remember she worked for the karaoke company. Yeah. Oh yeah. That was an easy one. That was an easy one. We're getting off topic. Speaking of drinking, Ant brought another little trick.

You know him. He's got his tricks up his sleeve. It's Antonio's bag of tricks. Well, he keeps them in his pockets that he wears. Just in case a truck flips over with all those dimes. Yeah, exactly. By the way, I saw that clip. I'm reminded again where you thought you could carry 50 grand or whatever the fuck. Well, listen. No, five grand. Sorry. We all have moments where we...

Make mistakes. So true. It happens, brother. What's the new trick this week, Frank? So the trick this week... Oh! I should probably put these up here first. Here, you can have these. What is... We need towels? Yeah. Are you spraying me with something? Because I don't want to be sprayed. So get on your knees. Oh. What was that? Oh! It's the... Holy shit. It's the world's heaviest mug.

I think. Right? Is that what it is? World's heaviest mug. And I want to know if you can drink from it. Well, here's the thing. How heavy is it? I think it's around 20 to 22 pounds. I think that's bullshit. This feels way... Bro, I've lifted... This is at least 30 pounds. I mean, the way that you're holding it makes it look heavy. But also, you know when you do kettlebell presses and stuff like that because you have to hold it in a weird angle? Yeah. Oh, wow. So...

You're gonna drink out of that? We are gonna drink out of it. We're gonna smash our teeth out. I think we'll be okay. We're gonna get wet. Why'd you say that? We're gonna get wet. So I wanna see who can drink better out of it. Can you try first? I mean, it's by you. And it might take a couple minutes to get it over there. So we're just gonna add a little beep beep of water. Okay. Fill it up, fill it up. Fill it up. Yeah, fill it up. I like the wet t-shirt contest shirts as well. I'm letting you know. God damn it. I'm letting you know right now. My nipples are coming.

That was crazy. I'm letting you know, if it cuts and I'm in a different shirt, we know what happened. Okay. So. You got it. Be careful. Don't blast your teeth out. Do a strong lip. Do a strong lip so it doesn't hurt your teeth. The handle. The handle. The handle. You got it. Can't use the other hand. Be careful of your teeth. Is it that heavy? Yo, it is heavy, brother. Let's try this hand because this wrist. That's what it is. Almost went. Yeah. Yeah.

Yep. Easy. Yep. Yep. All I see is him going just... Go on, just a little sip. You can do it. By the way, if you're listening on audio, this is going exactly the way that you think it's going. Just get a little sip. Are you going two hands? Oh, he's double-handed. I got it double-handed. Oh, he's got it. Now he's doing... This looks like it's not going to work out at all. Oh, it's good. You're good. He's got two hands on the mug. No, I'm going to one-hand it. Yeah. You can do it? You got it. Are you giving up? No. All right. The more you try, the... I'm going to go wet.

Here we go. Yeah. Yeah, hype yourself up. Hype yourself up. Who's the man? Ah! Good job! He did it! Thank you. Thank you so much. You just had to hype yourself up and scream a little. Brother. That's heavy. That's a heavy guy. Now I'm worried I'm not going to be able to do this. Hold on, I'm going to clean the mouth off. You're cleaning it like a priest. There you go. I probably shouldn't do that, right? What'd you say? I was going to be a priest. Oh, you could be a priest. No, I actually...

Was I supposed to understand what you were about to do? I was gonna say something crazy. Oh. Okay. Too much? No, no, I think you should do more, honestly. Shut up! Here. Alright, let me try. Alright, give it a shot, because this is a heavy baby. Yo.

Yo, that is... I don't know if I can pick that up. I don't think... Like, I think 20 pounds is not accurate because that feels like a 35-pounder. There's no way this is 20 pounds. I could throw 20 pounds in the... Yeah, I agree. 20 pounds is light work. Ozone. Can you look it up while we're doing this? Yeah, look up how heavy it is. It's 22 pounds. Get the fuck out of here. There's no way that's 22 pounds. It's just an awkward weight where I can curl 40. No, it doesn't... Yeah, that doesn't mean shit. I'm telling you, that's heavier than 20 pounds. 22 pounds.

Look at you! Well, you have to put this down so it doesn't smash on the table, so take that. Okay. This is... I would've brought bibs. Fuck you, dude. You got this. I know. Bro, that could kill someone. Yeah. Easily. Okay. Alright, go one hand. This is gonna be hard. Bro, I'm not even kidding. I could see someone breaking their wrist trying to do this. Let's go, mother sucker! Where should I put my... I'm giving up on that. Just go.

Come on baby. Hey, look at me. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! It's so hard to get it like this way. You have to, cause here's the hard part. You can pick it up. You need to this. My wrist! I know, I told ya. Yeah, you need to tilt. You need to tilt, or you gotta crouch yourself. You got this. Hey! Hey! Hey! It's hard. Okay, let me try again. You got it. I'm gonna go left now. We're going left! We'll do it live! I don't think left is gonna work for you, man.

Same! I can't do it dude! I'm afraid you're gonna smash my teeth in! Here, you can do two. This shit is healthy! You can do two. Okay, the body of Christ, amen. Feed it like a priest. Oh, easy then. Yeah, alright, alright. So that's not fun. How about this? How about I try to lift it with one hand and pour it in your mouth? Are you insane?

It's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. Not for me. Bro. Were you able to do that, Ant? I could sorta do it. Sorta do it? Like how you can do it. Yeah, dude, he's got the biggest dick in the West. Of course he can do it. Oh, man. Well, I guess good on ya, my friend. Thank you. Oh, my God, it's healthy. Okay, get serious, alright? Because there's that brand new laptop. We do have... I'm fucking tired, dude.

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You know why I coughed? My body is literally bursting with excitement to tell you about Patreon. Patreon.com/BasementYard folks, that's where you get more of us, more of us a little early and you know everyone always says, "Joe, why are you always, you know, premature?" Well, this is why.

I'm sorry. That was stupid, right? It's fine. I get it. I get it. It's all right. All right. Go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. You sign up for that first year. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance. That second year, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning so you can start and end your week with TheBasementYard. And those episodes on Friday, they do get a little crazy. I was just talking to Ant about doing one, and they're a little nuts. And Ant was just like, what if I just like whip my dong out? And I said, don't do that, Ant. And he's like, I'm going to show you anyway. And I said, please don't. And then Joe said, please do.

Maybe you'll find that on Patreon. You're definitely not gonna. But thank you guys so much for getting us to finally over 34,000 paid patrons. Unbelievable. The support and love is something that we often talk about and it is supporting us directly. So thank you. And do yourself and us the favor. If you go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard on a web browser, you actually type in that URL and you don't use an app.

You actually save yourself some money signing up that way. So you want to save yourself some money? You want to give the gift Father's Day, birthdays, Arbor Day, whatever. I don't care. Whatever you want, go check it out. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. And as Joe said at the top of the show...

The live shows are back, baby. And boy, oh boy, are we excited for them. So if you have not been able yet to secure your tickets or you're just waiting to figure out, like, let's put a fun time together with me and some friends, go to TheBasementYard.com. Check out the live show schedule. There's...

Tickets available in some places, some are not. Just go check it out. All right? And if you're coming to any of those shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. A portion of the shows is fan interaction, and we talk with you guys, about you guys, to you guys. It's kind of crazy. So many links, so many URLs. I'm sorry if I'm just spewing all this nonsense at you, but that's the way it goes. So go check it out. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. This is why he doesn't let me do ad reads. What was that, dude?

Thank you. Bye. Here's why he doesn't let me do ad reads. He's a little upset with how I do them. Let's get a moment of silence, though, for porn. A moment of silence for porn? Yeah, it's being apparently, isn't it being? Oh, I was like.

It's like there's a chance that it could get banned. Okay, yes. I love how you said moment of silences are like... For dead. For dead, like people like, oh, let's have a moment of silence. They do it on like, you know, like the anniversary of D-Day. And I guess now you want to do it on behalf of the potential of porn getting banned? Not on the heels of D-Day. There are some lawmakers. There are some lawmakers that are...

They want to ban porn. Potentially trying to ban porn. You know my feelings on porn. You love it. I'm just saying, like, is this a bad thing? I mean, this is a weird, like, how do you argue on behalf of this? Of Bahorn? Like, who is going to? What did I say? Of Bahorn. Like, who's going to be the person who's going to be like, we shouldn't ban pornography? That's a weird thing to defend. Even if you're, like, pro-porn.

I think it's more of just like who's going to be the congress person. Good job. Like that. That's going to come forward and just be like, wait a second, guys. Take it easy. A little hard on porn. I think it's more about like freedom to do. Well, if you want. Sure. But there's I think that the way that they are approaching it is like they want to protect against like obscene material. What's obscene? I think porn is obscene.

To me, obscene means like a next level of whatever. Like two people having sex is not obscene. No, correct. I don't think porn is just like, here's two people just having regular sex. Here's two people in love. Yeah, no one is being like, oh, this is a loving couple. It'll be like, you know, like, oh, my stepmom is such a dirty slut today. It's like...

What the hell is going on? I got stuck in the dryer. How? It's circular. There's nothing to get caught on. What the hell? I didn't order 12 pizza pies by 12 different people. That's the obscene parts. But who's going to defend that? Yeah, I don't know. Who's the person that's going to be like, you know what? I'm going to stand up for porn. Well, I think that people who work in the industry obviously are going to be like, bro, we should be able to fuck each other.

I don't think anyone is taking that right from them. You know what I mean? On tape, for monies. Well, like, here's, I guess, how do you, like, do you draw the line then at, like, OnlyFans? Why don't we do this? I think a good compromise is that we just change the titles.

Like, why don't we make it so, like, we just write, like, two young people really in love or having sex. And even if they're going crazy on each other. I don't think anyone's in love to shove their dick in a pizza pie and then open a box and show it. No, but, you know. You don't, you don't. It's the show. Love makes you do crazy stuff. You know, like, put that, like, down there and, like, try to, you know what I mean? Maybe that softens the mold. So you think it's just the...

The title that might be the obscene part, not the content. I think that... Honestly, I think maybe. Like, sometimes the obscene part is the title where it's like, Big White Pole in Little Petite. And you're like, bro, chill. Like...

Take it easy. Why can't we just say a nice guy, nice girl, meet and have a good time? Do me a favor. When you guys submit this to get uploaded, just let me know the moment at which it got demonetized. If it was not during this conversation, I would be astonished. It'll give us a time shift. She can't just be like, oh, she's a scientist. She's always a filthy scientist.

Big tail. So you think whoever's job it is to come up with the titles, they should just be like... Take it easy. Take it easy. So like if it's, you know, just be like, you know what? Be in love. Woman had a hard work week. And what's a hard dicking? Well, see... Well, that's a compromise. No, I think you could pull it back more. Listen, also, I have to admit, like, it's a weird thing to defend. But like...

Just be like... Go like the non-obscene route. Just be like... Tough week at work. Someone just needs a little R&R. You know? What's that? R&R could be like...

What is that? Like Ronnie and Ryan. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but what is R&R? I don't know what it actually stands for. It's like rest and relaxation. Is that it? I don't know. Yeah, people use that term. Okay. But like make it something like that. But then also the context, like the actual substance that it is, is probably the obscene part too. I just think that it's probably better for, you know, if like, especially with the younger men of the world who are,

Kinda psychotic at the moment, I will say. Okay. And, uh, I don't think there needs to be more of this aggressive, like, bent-over, fucking, hammer-style type of shit. You know what I mean? I mean, soften up the titles. I've said this before, and I know you, like, it's a joke at this point, but, like, I wonder how many people, like, in the world today, like, their view of sex is what they've seen in porn. I don't know.

So, like, there might be an argument for it because, like, how many, like, unhealthy relationships have come out of that? Maybe also there's something to suggest that there have been healthy relationships that have come out of it. Sure. But I think the funniest part of this is that someone's going to have to go up there and defend it. I don't think that they're defending porn as, like...

I love porn. Chill out. I don't think it's like that. I think it's more of like, how can you stop people from wanting to have sex on camera for money if people are willing to pay for it? It's more of like a freedoms thing. I think it's more of that than it is like, I need jackhammer porn. Well, there is a duty to protect what media can and can't be out there. So that's the approach they're taking is that like,

If it's obscene material, we cannot allow it to be, you know...

to the masses. I think that we should probably just start... If we're going to get to a compromise, we should start dialing things back. So I don't think that anyone needs to be stretching open anything. You know what I mean? What if they just started adding in... No more stretching. Like they take out certain audio tracks and put in sound effects. You know? Yeah. Something like that.

Yeah. What happened to that? What happened when the tongue would fall out of the mouth? And the eyes would pop out and it would be like a wolf. Yeah, but we don't need any of the stretching. You're sticking on the stretching. Because that's obscene to me. I mean, all of it is. Yeah, I get that. But no, that specifically is like, no two girls, one cup. Oh my God. You can't have that. Do you even consider what that was to be pornographic? There was two naked women. I feel like that was just a nightmare-ish thing.

I heard that was like a movie and like it was a scene in the movie. I don't, I don't. Oscar winner. And the Academy goes to. Two girls, one cup. I was so. I got it. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. But yeah, they're going to ban the Pern, which is fine. Where do you draw the line? Because the new Grand Theft Auto game is coming out next year. And like, I'm sure you could do stuff in that. Yeah.

Can you do stuff in the last one? I mean, you could like... I've like went to a strip club and I beat up the owner and took some cash. I think in the last one. But I don't know if you could like... You could pick someone up on the side of the road. And the car just like rocks. And the car kind of shakes. And then you lose 50 bucks. And you lose 50 bucks and then they walk out of the car. They're like, thanks daddy. You know. And then you shoot them and they take it back. Everyone did that. This is crazy. Everyone did that. I've also...

What a wild game, dude. It's such a crazy game. My mom bought it for me. That is crazy. But she was like, I didn't know. I was like, the name of the game is a crime. You ever think of how naive your mom was and just be like, it was kind of cute? Yeah, the game is named after a felon. Yeah, but that's only one part of it. And there's a guy with a dog and a gun. Yeah, but that's not like... She probably didn't know I was going to be... You didn't know, like, yeah, you can run around and shoot and stuff, but also, like, they didn't know that you can go and, like, you know...

Get back alley hand jobs and shit like that. I never did any of that. I would just do, like, weapons cheats, and I would fight the police, and I would, like, drive through crowds of people. What I would do... Okay. I would do that, too. And this is when I played Grand Theft Auto V, which was the one that came out, what, 12 years ago at this point? Almost 13 by the time the next one comes out. I would... My thing was I would drive through the airport to try to steal...

Yeah. A plane and see if I can get away. Because when you drive into the airport, instantly the most amount of stars, like the police are after you. So like that, I always felt like how long could I, you know. Yeah. That's usually how I played that game too. Just do shit like that. Have you seen the trailer for the new one? I, yeah, I have. The internet's quite a buzz for it. Because the main, for the first time ever, one of the main characters is a woman. Okay. And it's in Miami. Right. So like people are like.

Could you go and get like a BBL for this thing? You know? Dr. Miami's in the game. But like, bro, in Grand Theft Auto 5, like you could do some, like you could put them in like underwear and running around and shit like that. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. I forget how that game went. It was three guys, though. That's what I'm saying. You can run around in underwear as three guys. Do you think the pervs are going to be out in full force for this? Frankie. Obviously, they're going to be out. They're going to be in full... When does this game come out? Next May. May 2026. If they ban porn... There's a good question. Remember the whole thing with Gran Tadato San Andreas? The whole cup of coffee thing?

No. You don't remember that? Hillary Clinton was like big on that. It was a... I think it was a mission in the game that like you could only get to with a cheat code. And it was like you go on a date and then you go home and you... Fuck. Fuck.

I don't think you can like control during the sex, but it'll be like... There's a scene? There's a scene where it'll be like outside. You know what I'm talking about. There was a joke going around. We convinced my friend that you had to go on 100 bowling dates with your girlfriend to have sex with her. That's not... Yeah, like you couldn't... That's not true. But I remember in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, it was like a big... It was a big thing. People were using that to ban video games.

That there was like a sex scene in it. Can you look it up while we're talking? That's so weird though. Like why even put that in there? I kind of agree. Like it's weird. Like at what level is it like... Bro, in Red Dead Redemption 2, you can go like hunting and fishing, which like there are video games specifically for that. Do you? Yeah. You can play darts and poker.

Like, why am I going to play a video game to play darts and poker and fish? So I agree with you, but then there's something in my mind. I remember I would watch – this was a while ago when I would stream on Twitch. So I would watch some people playing, and there's a game where it's just power washing.

And like shit is dirty and you're just power washing it. And I was like, all right, I could like, like, but those are different games. I'm saying like, that doesn't need to be in grand theft auto. Yeah. Like in grand theft auto, I shouldn't be able to open a fucking like, you shoot a person in the head and then you power wash them. Yeah. Like a lawn mowing business. I did play that game. That game was incredible.

What's that? It was like lawn mowing simulator or something like that. And you like... No, it's on Xbox. If you have Game Pass and you have Xbox... You played a lawn mowing? Bro, you open... You start off, you like open your own like... Lawn mowing. Landscaping company. And like you need to do a certain amount of lawns well to like get better equipment. Hell yeah. And like hire people and shit like that. I was in it. Did you have an empire? No, I only played like two or three times and then I deleted it. It was free. Right. But like...

That should be its own game. Like, don't put that... You don't need to put that in Grand Theft Auto. Sure. But, like, I'm telling you, the per... I'm calling it now. Pervs are out. The pervs are coming out for Grand Theft Auto 6. I mean, the pervs are always out. It was in the game, but...

They scrapped it, so it was backdoored, and then a hacker essentially released it. But it was a hot coffee minigame, you were right. I told you. That's what the mission was called? Like, hot coffee? Yeah. And it was basically that, like, CJ meets a girl, and, like, they go home and have sex. But I don't think it was like, you can, like, you know, like... Press A to thrust. Yeah, like, Parappa the Rapper, like, on beat, press circle, circle, circle, circle. Kick, punch, block. Yeah, exactly.

I used to fuck with that game. That game was pretty sick. Parappa the Rapper. Oh, my God, dude. That just brought back something. Listen, you know how I feel about video games? Do you remember the game that I had? I loved this game. It was called Fighting Force. No, I remember you playing and loving the hell out of Jersey Devil. You know what's funny? I did love that game, and then one day, I don't know why I did this. I started looking up gameplay from all those old PlayStation games, like...

I was about to say Johnny Bravo, but that's not what I meant. Blasto. Blasto. That, Jersey Devil, both of them are trash. Well, I mean, with today's eyes, sure. Bro, I loved Blasto. I loved Blasto. That was Phil Hartman. Oh, my God. He did the voice of Blasto. There was all those games. Medieval. Bro, they made a remake. Was it good? On the PlayStation. People were like, yo, this is incredible. Wow. But, like, remember Gex, the gecko? Yes. Croc.

Now you got me. Yeah, that shit was good. Now you got me. I just want to look up old PlayStation 1 games.

PlayStation games from the early 2000s? Late 90s was probably because PlayStation 1 was from 1995, I want to say. Also Metal Gear Solid. Let's not even go there. Siphon Filter. Siphon Filter, bro. You get a taser, you start tasing people until they set on fire. We're noticing a trend here, Joey. We're noticing a trend. I'm just saying that's a weird thing to put in the game. Cool borders. Here we go.

Cool borders, wow. Bro, you know what game I went so fucking hard on, dude? You remember SSX Tricky, the snowboarding game? I never had that. Dude, that game was so fucking good. And then you could fucking, like, do the worm on your board and shit like that. And then, like, you know, do, like, a fucking triple backflip in Garibaldi. Ugh.

Good times. All the Crash Bandicoots. Well, yeah, those are... I mean, the first... I should say the first three. After Warped, they got, like, bad. Did you ever fuck with Final Fantasy? No, dude. I played one. People love Final Fantasy. And, like, cool, but, like... I played one because I got it in a cereal box.

Bro, cereal? What's good with you? There used to be like legit shit in boxes. You mean back when companies were more willing to be open to collaboration with their intellectual property? That's what I'm saying. Bro, cereal boxes? I used to open up and there used to be five fucking cool like lightsaber spoons in there. Now what's in there? Cholesterol? Fuck you, cereal. MLB...

What's the one where you can like... Someone hits a double and then you go to second base and you beat the shit out of them and then they're out? Slugfest. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. Where you just fight people. I love when video games like didn't take themselves too seriously. Now, it's like a video game comes out and it's like art. Art.

And like, we're gonna tackle conversations about mental health. Which, cool. Love that. Honestly, I do. Being able to do that in a medium like video games where a lot of people feel comfortable to express themselves and live in that little world. Love that. But also, give me a game where I can run as fucking Jeremy Shockey down the field, stiff arm someone's face, and then they hit a brick wall and go through it. Yeah, touchdown. You know what I mean? Sport games. Madden. Sports simulators. I don't want this shit.

Oh, you need to work hard to sign your rookie contract. Fuck you. Put me in the NFL. Put me in the NFL. Now the NFL games are like, you want to play in college? What do you think I'm here for? If I wanted to, I'd get the college game. You want me to earn it? I bought the game. Put me in the league. Bro, and also, you remember that game that came out? It was called Blitz the League.

And it had like Bill Romanowski and Michael Irving on the cover. And it was like, oh no, your guy broke his leg. You're out six to eight weeks or take steroids and you're back in the game next play. I was like, steroids, steroids, steroids. I understand that we want to promote people remaining healthy and responsible and not promote drug use. But like six to eight weeks is too long. If I'm trying to become a star...

In the FLN, the Football League Nation, I should... Because they can't legally use the NFL. Got it. You just did. We're done. No, no, no, no, no, no. I get it. The game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, now video games are just like... That's why I love... You've never played it and you never will. Doom...

I played Doom. You played Doom 64. Yeah. Doom Eternal and then Doom The Dark Ages. I haven't played Dark Ages yet. But like, bro, it's just like you're put in a room with a thousand demons and you have a chainsaw fist and a shotgun with a chain. It's just like, yeah. Or you go play this game where your tiger was and you need to pick the right fucking iron.

Fuck you, Tiger Woods. Sorry. I love Tiger Woods. I have no issue with him. He did some stuff that was a little questionable at points, but like... Cheated on his wife. Cheated his wife. With a thousand people. Yeah. He numbered them, didn't he? What? Wasn't there like... That's a detail that I don't know.

Maybe I'm wrong Could be wrong things happen wasn't it like they were listening his phone is like one number 14 number 12 that's insane if that's true Also, you could just they could have been you got a golf joke right there. Yeah par 12 or hole 3 Oh, there it is. Yeah also par 12

shooting on the moon? Yeah, what are you shooting across the country? Here we go. We do have some sponsors. This is a hard segue. This is a

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slash basement with the code basement and you will get 40% off of your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Okay, again, HungryRoot.com slash basement. Use that code basement, folks. Boom. One last thing I want to bring up to you. Yeah. We've been all over and good luck naming this episode. Yeah. KFC's back.

They didn't go anywhere. They didn't. They didn't go anywhere. Aren't they not... They're just KFC, right? Yeah, I don't think they can call them... They changed their name? Yeah, there was like that whole thing that came out. It's like it's not Kentucky Fried Chicken. Well, something came out. I don't want to say it. Oh, is that it? Because I don't know it. Oh. Something came out and I'm not aware of it. But...

We talked recently that they were doing the fried chicken toothpaste. Oh, we never ordered any of that. Yeah. And do me a favor on the company card. Order every flavor of toothpaste on that website. Tiramisu toothpaste. Tiramisu. We're going to try it for a patron episode. Honestly, if that's good. I mean, maybe hit them up and see if they'll send them so we don't have to pay. Remember we thought the name of that place was like his, his mile or something. It's high smile. Yeah.

What is KFC? They're back. They're back. So KFC decided that not only was fried chicken toothpaste where they want to discuss, you know, I guess support marketing or a brand or whatever. They now have an ice cream flavor. Fried chicken. Nope. So they're releasing an exclusive ice ice cream flavor in the UK. They're going to die. Okay. And you want to fucking die. All right. But it's not fried chicken flavor. And any guesses?

When's the last time you went to a KFC? Oh. I don't hate KFC. Years. I like KFC. I like KFC. I like Popeyes. I like Popeyes more. Oh, my God. I love Popeyes. I love Popeyes. I haven't been to either in over a year.

Oh, that's recent. I thought you were going to say like eight years. I probably went like three years ago. Can we do an episode where we just bring in... Popeyes? If we just bring in fast food for Joey and he eats it at the very beginning and we see what happens to his stomach as the episode goes on. It just keeps growing. Because chances would be that you would end up pissing your butt at some point during that episode.

Just like my dog. That's full circle, folks. That's right. Call back. What do you think the flavor is? Not fried chicken. It's not fried chicken. Is it mashed potatoes? No. It already looks like ice cream. That would be kind of good. Mac and cheese. No. Hold on. Like a mashed potatoes, but it's like a creamy garlic. I mean, an ice cream, but it's a creamy garlic? That sounds disgusting. Why? It sounds good. Just savory ice cream, not sweet ice cream. Garlic ice cream? I kind of wouldn't hate that. You would take vanilla ice cream and then put a...

Olive oil on it? It's good. I think we did that somewhere. Like, one of the desserts we had at a restaurant. Maybe. Might have had that. It's good, though. Yeah, I don't hate it. Wait, so what the fuck is this thing? Is it, like, corn? No. No, no, no. Popcorn chicken. No. Love the popcorn chicken. That would be chicken. The flavor that they're releasing, the exclusive flavor they're releasing. Is it a menu item? It's with their food, yeah. So it's, like, one of those things. It's something that is, like, synonymous with, like, fast food chicken. Loaded wedges. Yeah.

Not where I thought you were going. No, no, no. Give me a letter. I'll give it away. Give it a go. G. Green beans. Unbelievable that you can't get this. KFC? Yeah. Green? No. Green? No. Gers? Gers?

Gravy. Gravy? Yeah. Oh, I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah, we know. I'm a fucking idiot. We know. Gravy flavored. Gravy flavored ice cream. That's probably fire. I love gravy. Is it? It's better than fucking mashed potato flavored. I mean. Well, actually, them together would be better. I was going to say. You would eat gravy flavored ice cream? I don't think so, now that I think about it. Remember when people would be like, they'd call like semen man gravy?

Disgusting. How did your mind go there? Because you said I love gravy. Yeah. Baby batter. It's a better one. That's way worse, dude. Really? We knew a kid named Batter back in the day. Remember him? Holy shit. His name was Batter. Yeah. We also knew a kid named Seven. Who? We knew a kid named Seven. Oh, someone's like little brother. Yeah. Their actual name? Was Seven. Seven.

But there was better. Someone beat the shit out of him. I forget. One of our friends. It wasn't me or you. We were pacifists, man. We chose love and beating up people only in video games. Yeah, I was too small for that. There was no way. I was whooping ass at Def Jam Fight for New York. I'll tell you that. 50 Cent was laying smack down. Redman was kicking people in the nuts. But in real life... Gravy flavor. Would you actually... How would... Here's my question. I would try it.

How do you even eat that? Like you'd have to eat it by itself. What are you gonna put sprinkles on it? No. What are you gonna put chocolate? Sprinkles? I love sprinkles. I love the little nonparellas. Is that what they're called? What's that? The little circle ones that are crunchy. Oh, the chocolate ones. No.

The tiny little... The tiny little balls. Oh, like on snow caps, basically? Yes. Yes. I hate them. Why? They're crunchy. Because they get in my teeth. Yeah, and then you're an adult and get them out. Fucking Christ. I don't like them. You like the long, waxy ones?

What's that? Like the oval shaped. Oh, yeah. Like rainbow sprinkles, bro. Nah. Those are subpar. Yo, can I say something too? Chocolate sprinkles are like way worse than rainbow sprinkles. Like rainbow sprinkles are way better. Well, chocolate sprinkles, you get sprinkles sugar in it.

Sugary. You get sugary, sprinkle sugary, and you get chocolate flavor. With rainbow sprinkles, you just get additional sugar. There's no rainbow flavor. It's fun. There's colors. It is fun. Chocolate cookie crunchies, though. Crunchies?

Not cookies. The ones that are in the Carvel cake. You know what I'm talking about? That they layer that Carvel cake with? Those are the best. Oh, my. Yo, why don't we put that shit on top too, bro? Put it everywhere. That's what I'm saying. There's ice cream places by me that has those as a topping. Dirt? Don't they call it dirt? No, that's like a whole separate thing. Dirt's good though. Dirt? Well, like the dessert? The cup of dirt? Dirt's pretty cool too, but I'm not going to eat it.

I'll be honest with you. Dirt smells good. I would not eat it. Soil I would eat. What's the difference? That's a great question, too. What are those little white balls that are in soil, dude? I love those. Can you get them and you crunch them with your fingers? I know I'm not supposed to eat soil, but you got these little white things in there that look like marshmallows. Like, why do they make the things that will kill you if you eat them look so delicious? I think it'll kill you. I think it's like they hold water. Bro, eat enough soil.

Yeah, don't eat the whole earth. You're dead, dude. Yeah, dude. You can have a handful, though. Bro, eat a cup of soil. You're a goner. No. Yes. I can put down a cup of soil. You're going to be in a world of trouble.

No. Let's have this. Let's have an eating episode. What's wrong with soil? I just think that it's like compost, which is like molded, not good, biodegraded food. Is it? And I think there's shit in there too. I can't eat soil? I've gotten soil in my mouth for sure. Yeah, you've gotten small amounts, but if you had a cup of soil. I could eat that. I'm not dying. Joey, you could eat it. You would be in pain. I don't think so.

As long as there's no like big sticks in it. If, ooh, what if we mix it with ice cream? Soil ice cream. I mean. Kind of would, I would eat that. I guess. I love soil, dude. What's your, what's your like ultimate ice cream order? You're going to make fun of me. Traditionally, I've said this. I know you said it's Breyers. You know what? Do you have no, you have no toppings? I've experimented a little bit. Like if you had to get your dream ice cream, it's no toppings. I've experimented a little bit.

Here is where I've gone. You ready? There's an ice cream spot by me that makes the dumbest cherry vanilla I've ever had in my entire life. It has giant ass pieces of cherry in it. Ugh. So good. That with those chocolate crunchies. Okay. In a cup. I mean, I'll do cone too if we're getting nasty. Wait, what kind of cone though? The sugar cone. I like sugar cones. The waffle cones? Fuck you. Who likes those? I only like waffle cones if they're going to stick it in the side of my cup.

You know how like you get a cup and they put like a little piece of waffle? Oh, where it's like lines the cup with a... Yeah. No, but those are crunchy. Like, I'm talking the waffle cones that like once the ice cream melts a little, they get like soft and chewy. You know which ones I'm looking like? The ones that look like it's like a... Sugar cones are the best. I love sugar cones. Sugar cones are so good. The ones that they like dip in chocolate and like sprinkles. I've never had any of that, you whore. I get... Fuck it, I'm into it. So wait, no sauce? No sauce.

Maybe. I'm not like hot fudge. I'm okay on hot fudge. You're sacrificing the integrity of your ice cream. You're literally adding heat to it.

I'll tell you what I fucking hate. Oh, I'm going to love this. The people that dip it in that like magic shell, like the red magic shell and it comes out and it gets hard. The cherry dip. I used to order that. Fuck you. There was a summer when I was like 11. Like I was like, yo, give me the cherry dip. Ew. I just liked that it chipped and it made it like I was, it's like added this crunchy element. Oh, but that's why I get those little balls.

I know. Ooh, you ever do a double? You know you get ice cream and it's like two of them? Oh, no, I'm not double. What am I doing? You're doing it.

This is like some probably Illuminati shit. It looks like it's a weird looking one because I know what you're talking about. It has like the two spots and it's just like a pitchfork. Bro, now I would go to this guy. I'd be like, bro, if I had enough money for it, I'd be like, just give me two vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. I wouldn't even mix the shit up. You were getting nasty with it, dude. I also hated the people that got like the cherry dip and stuff because they were always like,

compared to the $1 ice cream cone, and I was just like, you rich bastard. Yeah, like, take it easy. Fuck you. Yo, also, if you had money for the ice cream truck, and you got, like, a snow cone or some shit, I should slap you, dude. Don't you dare speak disrespectfully. My nephew got a snow cone. I was like, bro. Dude, don't you dare speak disrespectfully of snow cones. Woo-woo-woo.

Frankie. Whack. My nephew's birthday was recently, and my brother got like a Mr. Softee to pull up and like whatever, and my nephew was like, I'll take a snow cone, and I was like, you idiot. I love snow cones. Chipwich. Oh, too much.

Too much what? Too much, Chipwitch. No. The cookies and the ice cream? Yeah. The only acceptable form of an ice cream sandwich is the one that has the chocolate on the butt and the top. The long one that has the buttons in it. You know what I'm talking about. I have those in my freezer as we speak. And I know how Joe used to eat them. I know exactly how Joe used to eat them. He used to lick around the side like a freak, dude. He would hold this thing and he would...

And this dude was a whore. Hey, he still is. He still is a whore. Because I'm on my fucking couch just like, oh, God. You're just licking the pussy of this ice cream sandwich. I really am, honestly. That's crazy. Good for you. It really is the way to eat it, though. But then I don't know. No, it isn't. The way to eat it is, I'm. No, it's boring. This shit is over within like two seconds. That's great. So you lick, you suck all the cream out of that thing. Not all of it. I leave some and then I start biting.

This is getting crazy now. Even I'll admit that one sounded wild. There's parts of the internet that are watching that are just like, keep going, Joe. Keep fighting. Yeah, but then I mean, you just eat it. That's like, you know. You know my ice cream truck orders. Priority, Tweety Bird, Ninja Turtle, or Bugs Bunny. Have you ever gotten a banana split from one? No. Who do you think I was? Warren Buffett?

Come on. Those were like five bucks back in the day. Remember? Yo, milkshakes. I used to get milkshakes and then I would be hurting for like a year. I spilled a milkshake in my dad's brand new truck and he never found out. Where did you spill it? Under the seat. The front seat? Back seat. Never found out. Really? Yeah. And he won't now because he doesn't watch the show and...

We're an hour and ten in, baby. He ain't watching now. He ain't watching dad. Hour and ten in. We could be ten in. He ain't watching that. So it don't matter. But wow, that's fucked up. You didn't even pay for it. I remember those were like...

the four bucks and everything else was like a dollar and then one day this dude pulled up and milkshakes were like eight bucks I was like what do you think this is we can track the trajectory of our nation and its greatness by what has happened to ice cream prices yeah when ice cream trucks would pull up and they were at the most expensive thing on there two dollars and

And you knew that the drivers were slinging bricks of coke out of them? Ugh. Country was a great place. Nothing better. Now? $15? Oh, $5 for this fucking... It's a Yankee Stadium margarita or a milkshake. Yeah. $15. What do you think he's going to pick? Margarita. Yeah. It comes in a shaker now. Those are great. That's cool. You noticed that the last time I went out. I did. I was there with you. Well, that's all I got. All right. Yeah, that's all right. Bye. Thanks.

Anyway, guys, thank you so much for watching all the way through. We're going to reiterate, again, go to TheBasementYard.com. Get yourself some tickets to the live shows. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're very excited to get out there on the road. And it's always a party. It's always a great time at the show. So come through. And if you already have your tickets, we appreciate you, and we'll see you out there. And also go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit.

Be a part of the show. All right? Fill it out. Let us know. And, yeah, we'll see you. Frank, where are you going to be? They'll find me at the Basement Yard shows. They'll find him at the Basement Yard shows because that's where we're going to be. You understand? Anyway, that's all for this week's episode. What is this show? What's the title of this show? Yeah, I don't know. We're going to title this. All right. Let's do it here. Let's flip all these now. We'll title this Bon Voyage Porn.

With a question mark? Can't do porn on... You can't write porn in a title. You can't write porn in a title? Bad for the SEO. How about... Bye, bye, bye to sex. I don't know. And it could be us as the marionette. What else did we talk about? What was the beginning of this? Your dog once again crapping its pants. That thing is... Dog story, horoscope, heavy mug, cereal, snow cone. The heaviest mug in the world? The heaviest...

Is that clickbait? I don't think people care about that. It's like the heaviest mug in the world. It's like, cool. And the title, it should be like, what's going to happen next? And it's our face. We'll put Mr. Beast in the corner. We'll put Mr. Beast in the corner. With his dead eyes. Go check it out. We love you guys. We'll see you next week.