Hour 1: The Healing Urine
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Going to bring in Juju Gotti here in a moment to talk about an assortment of stuff. But I saw a sweep over Tony's face this morning and he can he can wrap a lot of things in bravado, in confidence that may or may not be real. So over the course of this week, he has seemed very confident about what he's about to do in Vegas, even though one of the things he's about to do in Vegas is fight with someone who is a professional fighter, which seems stupid.

And I saw this morning on his face, oh, it's registering. He realizes now that he's walking into something this weekend that's slightly more dangerous than he thinks it is because he heard sparring and thinks he knows the guy he's fighting well enough to know how he defines sparring. So...

As this has been building up, shout out to my boy Justin who's setting up everything over at Extreme Couture, one of the best MMA gyms on the planet. Home of Francis Ngannou, world champions Aljamain Sterling, Sean Strickland, all these different guys. I'm going to be working out with Coach Eric Nixick who's three-time MMA coach of the year. Incredible guy. And then I was like, you know what? What can we do to elevate, right? Like just working out an MMA workout is not enough.

How can I do more? How can I jump out of the airplane? So my buddy Justin has a really good connection with Brad Tavares, who happens to be the tied wins record holder for the middleweight division in the UFC. And I'm like, why don't we like get in like a spar session? And my dude Justin's like, yeah, absolutely. I'll set it up. Brad's an awesome guy. He'll take it easy on you. Like you guys will, you know, do stuff in the middle of the octagon and like, it'll be sick. And I'm like, all right, awesome. Let's do it. So as the week has been going on, I'm not worried about doing a live show in front of people at the circle. Like who cares about that? That's, that's not,

That'll be fun. That's going to be fun. First time back since we wrecked downtown there. Exactly right. And Greg Cody owned Vegas like only Wayne Newton ever had. Exactly right. Luckily, I saved Wayne Newton's life that day. That's right. Put a paw out there. Remember? You did save the life of Wayne Newton. You don't get a near enough credit for that. I'll never forget that. People don't remember that. He was going to fall off the stage. It would have been broken. And then he would have broken like porcelain on the floor. Shattered into millions. Would have ruined the pool party. Yes. A million.

A million clay pieces would have been on the floor, all of them covered in makeup. I just would have had a shirt on, like holding it. So Brad Tavares, known great guy. And now it's starting to hit me like, all right, we leave tomorrow over to Vegas. And we're basically flying from Miami. We touch down in Vegas. I put my bags on and I go to the gym. So I'm thinking I don't really have enough time to really register. All right, I'm going to have to stand in there with an absolute born killer. Time out.

You got that. 20 or full. You. Yes. Here. Airport. Check in. What would you like to drink, sir? Water with ice. Water with ice. Drink it. Hydration. Read a magazine. Look out the window. It's a John Wick. It's a John Wick movie. You get off the plane and you just immediately start firing a UFC fighter. Plane lands.

Drag bag behind you. Head to the circle. Beautiful circle. Drop off your bag. Check in. Thank you, sir. How long have you been staying? Oh, yes. Thank you. All right. Order the Uber straight to the UFC gym where this dude is going to slap you around. Yeah. Hold on, man. Yeah. Is Lewis fighting him too at the same time? Lewis said no. Lewis is not fighting him at the same time. I tried to urge Lewis, hey, be part of the workout. He's not much of a workout guy. So he's like, you know what? I'm not going to do the workout. I'll commentate on you.

Lewis, obviously looking very good. Again, Lewis is like a 155-er, Dan. He'll offer helpful critique and mock you. From far away, yes. From very far away, yes. I do like the idea of you just having either a duffel bag or a small piece of luggage with wheels, and all of a sudden, right behind the wheel of the airplane as it lands, you immediately have to start fighting as soon as you get off the plane with an MMA fighter.

Juju, before we get to the stuff that Tony's doing in Las Vegas, anything, and I want to get to Jon Jones in a second as well, anything from the MMA world that you're finding interesting as Tony goes to celebrate this weekend in Vegas? Yes, there's been wonderful fights over the past couple of weeks. But there was one thing I didn't get to ask my brother Tony about, and I want his opinion. Bilotto got hit with a hammer.

a kick from the ground, an illegal kick. And it looked like he thought about it for a second and then went into, oh, I'm out of it. Disqualify him. What is your take, Tony? What happened there? You thought there was a UFC faker? I think it's playing the game. If you're down and you can't get kicked and it's an illegal kick, why go up and try and

and restart the fight back on your feet when you can kind of DQ the guy, right? And this was something that happened to Aljamain Sterling when he fought Piotr Jan. There was a neck issue where Piotr Jan kneed him while Aljamain Sterling was on the ground, and he won the title by disqualification. People were really pissed about that, but he ended up having to get his neck fused. So there's reasons why, yeah, there's reasons why. So not a faker? Faker or not a faker? Aljamain Sterling, not a faker.

This guy, possibly faker because of the fact that he knew the rules. Faker or not faker? Not possibly faker. Have an opinion. I'm going to be part of the UFC Brotherhood coming up, and I cannot talk about fakers or not fakers. That's how you stay likable. Imagine Brad Tavares is going to hear that I said UFC faker, and then all of a sudden...

Kicks me in the neck and my neck flies off. That's right. I have a taste. Then he says, we're just faking it. Exactly. I can't have that. My favorite part about Tony's itinerary, dude, I don't know if you know this. He said, and then at 10 o'clock I have a dinner. You think you're going to go around. Well, here's the thing. Yeah, I want to give you the full itinerary. Obviously, we go to the circle. We drop off our stuff. We go to Extreme Couture. We do the workout. I fight Brad Tavares. From there-

From there, we go back to the Circa. I'm going to freshen up. We actually have a party, a pre-UFC 317 party with Cuervo that we're going to be doing at the Dave & Buster's down in Henderson. So I'm going to be going from there, from the fight, to Dave & Buster's doing our thing. Is this like a meet and greet?

It's not a meet and greet. I mean, for me, if you want to come meet me, yeah, sure. People are coming to see you. I'm obviously going to be the winner of the fight, so people are going to probably want to see me. Wow, this guy who doesn't fight all of a sudden fights a professional. For the record, we have been a number of places where not only do we do meet and greet, but the people who are greeting us are brave.

bringing actual delicious meat. So there is the possibility that you get meat brought to you at the meet and greet that you're doing in Henderson after you get on an airplane and fight someone on the tarmac. Yeah, and then Saturday night, we've got all people invited. MMA Hangout Live Saturday from the Circa Hotel. All people. All people, baby. Circa takes care of us. They took good care of us in Vegas. Anybody in Las Vegas. That's their slogan, all people. All people. All people.

A place for ribs is also their slogan. That's now available. Overlooking Stadium Swim. It's presented by Boost Mobile. The MMA Hangout starts at 10 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Pacific, streaming on all Levitard channels. And we're very excited, Dan, but I'm starting to get a little bit worried. And we actually have a heart rate monitor on me right now that we're practicing.

- No. - Yeah, to show, all right, what's the heart rate of the-- - The baseline, what's the baseline? - What the baseline is right now, then what the baseline is for the workout and how that's gonna be, and then when we actually are about to step into the octagon, that's why I wanted to get this, I told Kristen, go get me a heart rate monitor because I feel like I'm-- - You have a big one? - Yes, I do have a big one. What I feel like I'm gonna be more, the heart rate is gonna be higher is when I'm stepping into the actual octagon to fight him more so than the workout itself. - This is--

You were saying? This is going to be insane. Thank you. That's the point. I hope he doesn't take it easy on you. 10 p.m. dinner. He needs to not take it easy on you. He needs to basically choke you out. Chris, 10 p.m. It's Vegas, baby. Vegas. Be an adult. What's the perfect time for dinner? I say 745. In Vegas? 745. In Vegas, 10 p.m.

Earlier than 10 p.m., you're nuts in Vegas. 7.45, perfect time for dinner. Prime time. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is 7.45 the perfect time for dinner? I will tell you that lately I've been eating at 4 p.m. is my last meal. Oh, because you're old. Like stew, yes. That's right. Don't talk to me about being old. You're old lately. You're feeling old lately. Yes, yes. We will get to that in a little bit. Thursday Thunder is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Juju, go ahead.

The first leg of Thursday Thunder. I had my sister, Kaitlyn Clark, under 20.5 points. But breaking news, she's out with a groin injury tonight. And she will not be playing. So instead of her, I'm going with Kelsey, Kelsino, Mitchell, over 17.5 points tonight.

Aren't you scared of the Caitlin Clarke unders the way that you're scared of Patrick Mahomes unders?

I used to be, but not again. Not anymore. I see something in Caitlin and it's neither here nor there. But I saw that injury a little earlier than the people saw it. Really? So that's why you. Oh, so you thought you had you thought you were doing what all the best gamblers do, which is I have some information on injury that is money and value. But it was confirmed and you lost. You didn't lose your money, but you lost your opportunity.

Yes, sir. Lost the opportunity. You were too right, Juju. You were a little less right. She would have still played, but you were too right.

Right. Next leg. I'm going with the the the the superstar right now. The great performance last game. 30 point performance from Aaliyah Boston. So this game, I definitely think she's going to have to get it without Caitlin Clark. 14.5 points over that for sure. Says 15 and a half on the graphic we have here.

Yeah, that's how they do me. You know they do me like that. She's going to score 60, so it doesn't matter either way. Why did they do you like that? Who's they? What do they do? Who's they and what do they do? That's too long of a story. But it's all of them? Is it all the people who have been invited to Circa? Is that also they? No? None of our people at Circa. None of them. Let them know. Is it here or is it there?

It is way down there. It's too far. It has to be one of them, right? It's neither here nor there. It has to always be one of them. No, it's neither here nor there. No, it doesn't. It's usually neither here nor there somewhere else. Then where is it? Touché, Tashé.

The last leg, I'm going with the surging Washington Mystics. They've been playing great lately. Shakira Austin, oh my goodness, she's locked in these days. Kiki, I see you. They're going against the Vegas Aces tonight, who has a little hitch in their giddy up right now. They beat the dog crap out of the sun last night, but I could have beat the sun. Let's just keep it real. I'm going with the Washington Mystics.

Plus 8.5 points tonight against the Aces. Lock it in. It says .8 and plus 8 on the graphic. Ah, dang it. Oh, that's how they do you. Oh, no. That's what they do. I don't understand how it changed from the time the graphic was made to seconds later there's another half point or point in there. This is gambling, man. Things change. That's true. Information is changing. Got to lock in quick.

Do you have any more for us WNBA-related, Juju? I'm looking forward to Alley Oop making its return after a really successful debut during the NBA playoffs. During the WNBA playoffs, I assume, is when it'll be back. What else do you have for us on this front?

Yes, sir. Maybe a little bit before that. You know, we got a lot of stories happening. But last night, the New York Liberty took out the Golden State Valkyrie. But Kate Martin, oh, my goodness. She was so wet behind the three point line. Tiffany Hayes, Kayla Thorne, that Valkyrie team isn't like a regular expansion team who you got to. OK, let's give them a couple of years and they'll be all right.

Those girls are contenders right now. I just want to throw a salute out to Golden State and Valhalla. Shout out Kate Martin.

The polls we're going to get, I want to get to some of these polls here. We're going to have a pitch clock is going to be later on in the show. And we're also going to relive some of the watch party that we did with Mero in the event that some of you missed some of the highlights from that. We're going to have that for you, but let's update the polls here. Usually we do this in the post game, but I'd like to do some of this now because the polls have been on fire lately. What do you have Juju? Would you ever wear any bowling shoes without socks?

Greg. So 97% of the audience says no, they will not. I suppose it changes a little bit if you're the only one wearing those bowling shoes, but it's still really foul. And furthermore,

If you ask me, what are the most uncomfortable soles anywhere in shoes? Now, I'm not going to go high heels or ladies shoes, although I find them personally comfortable whenever I wear them. Bowling shoes is where I go when I say least comfortable bottoms of shoes. It's a bad idea for a number of reasons. Disgusting, but also you need socks with bowling shoes more than any other shoe. Dress shoes, I'd go. I'd nominate. Yeah, those socks.

Bowling shoes are probably the closest to dress shoe of any other shoe. No, but dress shoes done well don't have those discomforts. Bowling shoes are all cheap. Get the foot away. Can I point out that bowling shoes biggest scam ever? You could just wear sneakers. Bowling shoes are from a time where people were all wearing hard bottom

shoes. No, you need some slide. You need some. Are you a bad bowler? You need some slide on those soles. Sneakers will you'll get stuck. In fact, I will tell you one of those nights at Tony Rome is a place for ribs. We went bowling afterward and I thought it'd be funny. What a night. Yeah. Right. Big night. Brooks Reed, Long Island iced tea. And look, I'm going to tell you this story. This is how I learned this because I don't know anything about bowling, but you'll find this funny. I'm like, I'll be funny. It's funny. I'll go down and I'll run down

the lane and then I'll knock down the pins by sliding down the lane. Like a seal? With your body. Like a seal on a glacier? Right, but like a seal that was wearing a leather jacket and didn't realize that there would be no slide and I'd just land like a javelin and so I didn't get to any of the pins. I just flopped out and

I'm in the middle of the lane with my feet going and hitting me like, you know, my feet. Like a chair? I just landed because the leather jacket didn't have any give. You need to slide on a court, on a lane, bowling lane. You went from a popular eatery to a bowling alley with a leather jacket on. Was this 1952? What was going on? I went to a soda shop that I got after that from a soda jerk, a wonderful ice cream

You went to Walls Ice Cream right across the street. You went to the 62nd and US 1 Tony Romo's. I know exactly which one you went to. Did the T-Birds mess with you outside? Hey, Levitard. Hey, punk. We don't like you on our turf. And you're like, hey, guys, I want no problems. And you pull out a switchblade that looked like a comb. Hey, who wants to dance? That's exactly how it happened. And then he literally broke out into song.

What else do you have on the polls, Juju? Has the draft gone from what is this guy to who is this guy? 92% of the audience says yes, it has. Is it as fun as it used to be, guys? Forgive me for missing it last night, but in terms of once upon a time, just...

Seeing what Patrick Ewing was wearing is what people were tuning in to the draft for. Is it less interesting on that front as just a fashion statement? Is it all less interesting because we have more information than we've ever had, but we feel like we know less on draft night than we've ever known? There's Dan right outside the bowling alley.

He took his leather jacket off. So you have it being a comb, a comb that turns into a switchblade. That you flip open. Like, that's the part. Comes out. I gotta ask Valerie to get me one of those.

I would also say Shams from the draft last night. You're working for ESPN now. You're a little quick on the draw for denouncing these picks through your Twitter. I'm trying to catch up now. I know something that's happening. You're messing up the TV product. But salute to Shams. Didn't Jordan Schultz get in trouble for that because the leagues are now trying to ban their information guys from doing that? I felt like Jordan Schultz was a renegade who tried to do that. Shams was doing it again last night. I thought they didn't do that anymore.

It was right before his hits. He'll be like, Washington has traded the rights to this and this and this and this. And I'm like, wait, what? And then they'll draft the tank, the person. And I'm like, okay, this could have waited until you told me on TV, brother, but I'm nitpicking my brother. I love you, bro. Juju. You can, me and me were talking about earlier. Um,

The way that the trades were getting announced, you didn't really know who was going where. Like, you had Atlanta picking for New Orleans, but then they didn't really mention that the pick was going over to New Orleans. And Portland had picked a guy from Memphis, but Memphis was going to a guy from Sacramento. And it's like, where was the Chinese guy going? I don't know. Like, he put on a Memphis hat, but he's going to Portland. It's like, how can we make these things easier? Can we just give them the hat of the team? Was it less of an event last night than it usually is? Hmm.

Has it been diluted over the years? I used to enjoy it. I don't watch it anymore for a number of different reasons that, again, have to do with the auctioning off of where it is that people with this talent should have freedoms. And then they got to go to Toronto and mutter under their breath, bleep.

Or Utah. I'm one of the top ten most talented people available in the world. Damn it. I have to go to Utah. Salt Lake City. I think Tony is right. I think Tony is right. At least switch the hat up, Adam Silver. Don't give him a Toronto hat if he's headed to New Orleans, brother. Let us see that hat. Neither here nor there. It was in Brooklyn. That's why.

Are we weeks away from Canada and France wiping the block with us in basketball? 58% of the audience says yes, we are. Whoa. They're coming. It's insane. Juju, can you speak some sense into red, white, and blue USA from basketball, please?

Exactly. I got a movie for you to watch. It's called Court of Gold. Go get you some. Exactly right. And another movie to watch, Band of Brothers. Exactly right. Get you some. Watch it sometime. How about Miracle on Ice, buddy? Tell me the Rooskies are coming next, huh? What happened to you? Have you ever used the word hoompsed? 56% of the audience says no, they haven't.

Yeah, they lived. Right. This is the most important poll of the day. Who looks more like a lunch lady? Kelly Olenek or Luis Scola? I think it's Kelly. Yeah? I think Kelly looks like the nice one. Yeah. Luis Scola does not give you any extra whatever you're supposed to have. Mashed potatoes. Stingy with the mashed potatoes. 53% of the audience says Kelly Olenek. Oh.

Okay, this is what's wrong about that poll, and I will never forgive you people for this. Put a hairnet on Scola. If you put a hairnet on Scola, he wins that poll. Put a hairnet on Kelly Olenek. That's the part, though. You don't have to do anything to Kelly. That's true.

He's already got that little thin headband, which makes it look like he's wearing the hairnet. So it's kind of what he does. Scola had one too. He had to keep that down. Scola's the one that started that. Before that, everyone wore just regular headbands. Scola said, no, just give me shoestring. Do you know how brave that is to play NBA basketball with a hair bun? Shout out to Lou Amundsen. Oh, that's right. Hi, man. Sweet Lou.

Shaq, how dare you? If you are an athlete and your last name is Coward, do you think about changing your name? 85% of the audience says yes, they do. And part B to that poll, if your last name is Coward, should you change your first name to Bill? 77% of the audience says yes, you should. And those are your polls. Thank you, Juju. We will talk to you again next week, sir. Good to see you. I

I hope that Thursday Thunder, the parlay hits. He's been great on two for three. Jeremy, you know something about me, right? You know when I'm grilling outside and it's summertime, you know how I supplement my summertime? Of course I do. I make a Miller time. Of course. That beautiful white can. Oh, when it's so hot outside, I just put it right to my forehead, right there. And I just roll it sometimes right on the forehead, cool my body down, and then I crack it open and...

instant relief and then that first sip brother does that first hit that is a top five sequence of events that you can possibly go through i'm just serenity now when i just imagine that first sip of miller life just thinking about it's making me dude the sun is out it's nice you have your friends showing up you got your family there you just had your first sip of miller light and you know what you're happy

You're blissful. You're fulfilled. I've been stocking my cooler with Miller Lite for years and for good reason. It's brewed for taste. Only 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs. This year, Miller Lite turns 50.

There's five decades of cookouts, laughs, and ice-cold moments that never miss. It's the original light beer, and it's still my go-to. Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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Don Libetard. I ain't never met nobody in the world that's done hate on Blue's Clues, bro. Great nomination. Like, who don't like Blue's Clues, bro? If you don't like Blue's Clues, you're a loser. Stugatz. Look, you get one paw print, that's the first clue. You put it in a notebook, now what do you do? Woo!

Blues, blues, blues, blues. Sit on the chair and think about it. This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stoogads. ♪

You guys cheated there by trying to make that whole bias for Olenek by putting something in his hair that indeed made him look more like a lunch lady. It's just what's in his hair all the time. He looks more like a lunch lady. I know, but this is what Skola's got that Olenek does not have that the lunch lady also has. Put Skola back up there. Scowl? No, it's not the scowl. It is, and I hate to say this...

It's the stubble. The five o'clock shadow. No, he's right. He's right. No, hold on. Hold on. This is why people like Kirkshin. This is why people like Scott Van Pelt. That's correct. Because they're nice people. That is correct. Is that from Big Mac? I saw Big Mac this morning. He watched.

For those who do not know and are listening instead of watching, I have a hat in front of me, and Big Mac is the person who protects our carport. People around here get very used to the inside jokes that alienate the audience, and yes, it is a hat that looks like the one Big Mac wears that is a leftover from last night and the baseball show that we did. I was pointing out that now on the screen you have Luis Scola with a little tiny headband and...

Still thinking Kelly Olenek looks more like a lunch lady. Stop talking. So I have in front of me this top hat, and this is Jeremy's idea from last night that we never got to, and there are papers in here. And what was I supposed to do with this, Jeremy, that I never did with it? You would just take out a piece of paper, name the baseball term or name, and just have Tim Kirkson start talking about it. Well, play that with me. Yeah. Go ahead. Switch hitters. Chipper Jones.

Okay, good game. I'm glad we played it last night. Would have been really good last night. One more, one more, one more. One for Tony. One more, let's see. I'll do one, I'll do one. Tony's doing this one? I think this would be better with Kirkchen. Yeah, come on. Just phrases. Okay, batting gloves. Oh, listen. Vlad Guerrero Jr. Vlad Guerrero, the dad, never needed the batting gloves. You know what he did to the calluses, Dan? Pissed on them. That's what you would do to open up the calluses and clean them out. All of a sudden, Moises Alou too. But Vladdy would sit up there.

You know that for a fact. Yeah, of course. I know it for a fact with Moises Alou. I did not know it for a fact with Vlad Guerrero Sr. Now you know. The urine is something that he would use on his hands to soften the calluses. Soften the calluses. Had you not heard that before, Chris Cody? I had not heard that urinating on calluses helps. Yeah, dude. That jellyfish. Doesn't Chad Ochocinco also do something with urine?

Putting jellyfish on your calluses helps them? No, no, no. That kind of thing. I'm kidding. Nolan Ryan used pickle juice. Why don't we just use pickle juice instead of urine? It seems like Moises Alou used the urine to toughen his skin so that it would eliminate calluses. So the calluses wouldn't even exist. His skin was so tough already.

All right, here we go. This is from November 2024. Chad Ochocinco had a secret formula for staying healthy. He says he used to collect urine, warm urine from his teammates, heat it up and put my ankle in it for 30 minutes to fend off ankle sprains. I don't know if I believe all the stuff that Ochocinco says because I think sometimes he says things like that in order for people to react differently.

two things. Quote, yeah, it worked. There's a reason I've never been injured. Home remedies. I'm sitting here living proof. I wonder if different teammates had like better, like their urine had made my ankle better. Yeah, that's the part I don't believe. What was wrong with Ocho Cinco's healing urine? It's a good thing. This is how I was able to collect it all at one time, right? You got team meetings in the morning, right? Everybody. Hey, yo,

Boy, do me a favor, boy. My ankle kind of f***ed up. I need you to drink water all at once. So when we break beating, if y'all pee, it's a bucket in the bathroom. Boom. Y'all peeing in that bucket now for me. Didn't he say, you said at the beginning that he warms it up? Yeah. In a microwave? Microwaving urine? Yeah.

I'm assuming he has a special urine microwave. Oh, wow. The sun maybe just leaves it outside? Maybe it leaves it outside. There you go. Sun-dried piss. That can't be true. It can't be true. You think he's lying? I think his teammates wouldn't participate. What do you think happened the first time that he asked? Because it's one thing if you show up, you're just drafted by the team that he's on. He's been doing this for a few years. You have some teammates say, hey, look, this is what Ocho does sometimes, right? But the first...

first time that he said, hey guys, I have this idea. What do you think the reaction was in that locker room? Again, don't believe the story. Well, first of all, he talks about, this is from February 2016, so he's been talking about this for almost a decade, at least, right? And

This is what I'm thinking. He's talking about his grandmother was the one that put him onto this, right? And this is the quote right here. I would soak my ankle in warm urine. That was the answer he gave when someone asked, how did you get over ankle sprains? Amari Cooper says, man, my ankle's so fat, it don't make no sense.

And Chad Johnson responded, soak it in warm urine. Do you think he tried cold urine first? The thing that I'm saying is that if he needs a lot of urine and he needs it to be warm, he can use and collect his own urine and then microwave it in order to avoid the embarrassment of asking his teammates to help him with their urine. So this is from March 2012. I never go out at night, and the night I do, I got peed on by a real lion. I feel unwell.

honored. Who can say they got peed on by a lion? Someone asked him, how in the world did you even get close enough to a lion to get peed on? And he said, I wasn't that close. He sprayed like a water gun, which is how lions pee, by the way. It's true. I'm seeing here that he said T.J. Housman Zeta had the best urine. Housman Zeta. He had the best urine, it says here. But on the poll at Levitard Show, did T.J. Housman Zeta have the most healing urine at Levitard Show?

I can't believe some of you. Put it in. He's like, that's the good stuff. Oh, my God. I feel so much better. I can't believe some of you find such a horrific and emotionally draining accident so funny. I'm disgusted at all of you who laughed. That's Chad Ochocinco, March 2012, because he got peed on by a lion.

I have never seen Amin do more or better research quickly. And also, it would appear that the urine Google search with Ochocinco has revealed a lion's urine when Amin was only looking for the teammates of Bengals. The Bengals' urine. He wasn't looking for lion urine, but that came up anyway. Different cat. Never played in Detroit, but somehow still got lion urine. I turned TJ into a former rock station in South Florida.

Zeta.

Roy, I'm glad that we teased why it is that you're feeling old these days. You looked right in my face and you called me old when you lately have been feeling old. And the hockey playoffs, I believe, ransacked you and made you feel even older. Yeah, it's not just that because I'm doing Learn to Play, the Panthers and USA Hockey. And some other teams in the league have formed a partnership where they actually teach hockey to, you know,

average citizens. It's Roy and a bunch of 12-year-olds. No. This is adult learn to play. I love that visual, though. Two separate things. But yeah, I mean, I've been doing this for a month now. I have four or five sessions, and I'm getting better. Your voice got higher there. I don't know if you're really getting better. I like them. But I'm getting older. Roy, now...

What's the recovery like? I gotta assume you're slipping and falling a couple of times because you know you're trying to... That's why I stopped rollerblading. Yeah.

It was too high up. Another visual I want to see. Big tree fall hard, Dan. You have elbow pads on? Dan in the booty shorts. Right there on Ocean. Yeah, ass hanging out the back. Yeah. I almost broke my arm last week. Yeah, the transition from skating forward to skating backwards as I was turning went too far. And I fell. But my arm, which was holding my stick, my left arm was behind me. Wow.

And that's where I fell. And I was probably a middle, an inch or two from breaking my arm. Is it sore now? Does it still hurt? It's still sore, yes. All right, I'll tell you what we can do. Guys, Jeremy, Chris, Tony, let's go pee. Oh, there's a bucket in the bathroom right now. Get the microwave ready. Get that. We'll put it in the air fryer. Better quality. The microwave strips nutrients. Air fryer. Do a good job. Atta boy. See you.

stick it in there warmed up put that elbow in some urine one at a time i'd like each of you to go out uh fill a bucket now with urine bring it back and have roy soak his elbow in it uh during the last hour of the show i've got more chad johnson quotes the funny thing about it is that i had some remedies that i use nobody believed me if it wasn't enough of mine i would have to get my teammates urine i put my ankle that's swollen or the one that sprained and warmed the urine up really hot

Sip my foot in the urine. If I sprain my ankle on a Wednesday and we play Sunday, by the time I got to Friday, I was able to do that fast walk-through practice on Friday and play the game fully healthy on Sunday. There you go. Seems legit. I like it. I like it.

Tony, I want you to go after Chris and fill a bucket with urine. Yeah, you got to drink some water. That's what Ocho Cinco... I want to do something that we started yesterday, and I want to do it again because I want as much information from Amin as we can possibly get on this. Feel free to load up your NBA questions here for Amin so that we can get a lot of stuff from him. Speed him up.

And let's get moving on giving people the maximum amount of Amin Elhassan basketball information on a day that people want basketball information. I don't know what it is that you saw last night that was most interesting to you. You objected to me starting with the Pelicans and Nets as starters.

as people that are as teams that were made fun of last night. So what did you find most interesting about last night? Well, I did find interesting the fact that the Pelicans made this massive bet on their future, on their immediate future, in order to get someone who exhibits many of the similar kind of pitfalls of the guy they already have. And so I look at this

Pelicans team, I don't see a full roster. I don't see a full identity. And I'm thinking to myself, what gave Joe Dumars and the Pelicans the confidence that this is all going to work itself out in the next 12 months? That was the most interesting thing to me. I want the fast music that we give to Diana Rossini so that we can move this along and get as much basketball information as possible before we soak your elbow in some communal urine. Hot urine.

I just did mine. Now Tony's doing his. Thank you, Jeremy. We'll all go and we'll do this. Can you please tell me, I mean, Kyrie Irving, three years, $119 million. What did you think of that? So Kyrie Irving must have had the most leverage of a man who just tore his ACL in the history of the NBA, right? And it's true because Nico Harrison needed him. They need him. If he was going to say, oh, I'm opting out and I'm going to sign somewhere else.

the Mavericks would have been screwed. They don't really have a recourse to replace what Kyrie does on that roster. So great for him. I know some people might look at it and say, wait, he took a pay cut. No, he took $43 million guaranteed and said, I'd rather have $119 guaranteed for over the next three years. Great move by Kyrie.

Bill Simmons on the Heat's first round pick, quote, he fills the box score, he's just going to be good. It really is annoying to me. Then they'll sign Kaminga and guess what? He'll be good for them too. Then all of a sudden we'll be like, Jesus Christ, we're back with the Heat. I thought we killed them. We thought they were dead. I think that's a pretty accurate depiction of the Miami Heat. Look, the biggest question mark for me there is Jonathan Kaminga, who showed flashes but couldn't really adapt to the system that the Warriors were running.

I believe here in Miami he'd get more freedom. He'd be featured a lot more, which would be great for him and his development. But, Spoh has a way of doing things as well, so he's going to have to adjust to that as well. But, yeah, I could see this Miami Heat team next year being like a five-seeded, everyone thinking, I thought it was over for them. How are they back here? Why isn't Wiggins what Kaminga was if you're giving the Heat that much credit on that? I think,

Wiggins is a finished product. He is what he is. He was what he was when they won the championship. That was the best version of him, but it was still the inconsistency. Everyone says, oh, the guy's an all-star. He was an all-star because the first half of that year, he was amazing. And as soon as he made the all-star game, everything fell off a cliff until they got to the playoffs. And he showed up big time in those conference finals, especially guarding Luka Doncic against the Mavericks.

overall, his career was always up and down, up and down, up and down. You hope that Kuminga, who's a lot younger, he's about 23 years old, he's got more opportunity, more runway to become a more consistent basketball player. Best trade so far? Woof. Best trade so far? Uh,

Faster. Grrrr. Faster. That's what the grrrr is. You were so confident yesterday. You looked me in the eye. You gave one-word answers, and you were so confident. I know. But now we've turned up the heat on this. The heat has gone up. The music is moving fast, and now you have to check your computer. I do. That's not the way this works. I'll filibuster for you. I'll filibuster for you. Uh-huh. P's filling up nicely. I thought I didn't have enough in the tank. Win extra. Oh.

It was extra yellow. I saw you guys haven't been hydrating. I think three of us have done it now, and there's plenty in there. Okay, put it there for Roy to soak his elbow, and he can tell us whether it feels better. It looks like a lot of yellow. That was me last night. Sorry. Is that asparagus the only thing that makes the urine smell bad? Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is asparagus? Yeah, it's a lot. It smells so bad in here. You know what happens when I drink cafe con leche? It smells like coffee.

Really? You guys need to drink more water. I told you guys about the Floyd Mayweather. The first time I saw that dehydrated can produce brown urine is when Floyd Mayweather wasn't drinking enough water in one of those 24-7 reality shows. You guys need to drink more water. I've had that happen where I took a whiz and I was like, oh my God, I need to drink way more water. But to answer your question, it's still the Rockets getting Kevin Durant because what they gave up

did not materially impact their core or their future, they managed to add a Hall of Famer to a team that was already pretty good without giving up too much. Have you heard anyone other than Samson be critical of that trade for the Rockets? Oh, are you going to do it? I'm watching Roy. Oh!

Is it warm or hot? It doesn't hurt, right? It's not too hot? It's warm. Have you heard anybody other than Sampson criticize that trade for the Rockets? The only way that trade doesn't work is if Durant gets hurt, I think.

And even if he does get hurt, like you didn't give up all that much. You still have plenty of people at each one of those positions that they gave up in those players to fill in the gaps. No, I haven't heard anyone other than Samson say it was a bad deal for the Rockets. If anything, people said the Suns should have got more. I can smell it, I think. Or is that just my brain? It's starting to feel better.

How did Utah do in the NBA draft? Dude, it smells so bad. Well, it all depends if Ace Bailey's going to play there. Look, Danny Ainge is always a guy who marches to the beat of his own drum. And so I kind of like the ballsiness of saying, I'm going to take the guy and say he didn't want to be here. But the problem there is the guy didn't want to be here. So you want to...

You want to have some sort of kind of confirmation that he's going to be playing for you. Otherwise, you've just entered a Steve Francis type situation where you use a good draft pick to draft a great player who does not want to be playing for your team. This is a new low for him. It legitimately smells like urine in here. Percentage of chance Jalen Brown or Derek White gets traded.

Or I would say 60 to 70%. It's a good chance. Wow. I don't think Brown would be the guy. It would probably be Derek White. The Celtics, as I said yesterday, are a move away from being under the apron, under the tax. And I think that's a little too enticing when you're that close for a team that's trying to cut costs.

Jeremy, you know something about me, right? You know when I'm grilling outside and it's summertime, you know how I supplement my summertime? Of course I do. I make a Miller Time. Of course. That beautiful white can. Oh, when it's so hot outside, I just put it right to my forehead, right there, and I just roll it sometimes right on the forehead, cool my body down, and then I crack it open and

instant relief and then that first sip brother does that first sip that is a top five sequence of events that you can possibly go through i'm just serenity now when i just imagine that first sip of miller light just thinking about it's making me happy dude the sun is out it's nice you have your friends showing up you got your family there you just had your first sip of miller light and you know what you're happy

You're blissful. You're fulfilled. I've been stocking my cooler with Miller Lite for years and for good reason. It's brewed for taste. Only 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs. This year, Miller Lite turns 50%.

There's five decades of cookouts, laughs, and ice cold moments that never miss. It's the original light beer, and it's still my go-to. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com slash dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.