Hour 1: Top 5 Worst Days for Fourth of July to Fall On (feat. Jessica Smetana)
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This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

God bless football. Please support the things that Stugatz and Billy are doing. I want to put a few things in front of Zaslow, who is a judge, a journalist, a lawyer, a race war expert, and a doctor. Right now, I'd like to speak to the judge, if that's okay. You have something that you have to go to? You need a costume? Okay. All rise. The Honorable Jonathan Zaslow, now presiding with prejudice. All right. So we have imaging here on a prejudiced judge, John Zaslow.

Zaslow. Does anyone call you John? I see there he's got to switch headphones. Yeah, switch headphones because he's got Judge... Okay, he's got a thing he's got to put on his head. Okay, because he is Judge Dredd. What year was that movie? All rise, the Honorable Jonathan Zaslow, now presiding with prejudice. What year is Judge Dredd a Sylvester Stallone movie?

1995, the year I was born. Okay, very good. Was he ever a Johnny? Were you ever a Johnny as a kid? Nope. Really? Never? Nope. Nice try. Why not? Wait, nice try? It's not a trick. It's just a question. Nice try. Is Mike Ryan allowed to root...

for Florida Panther Brad Marchand next year. Okay, so Brad Marchand signed a six-year deal. Great day for the Panthers. Great day for the Panther fan. But Mike Ryan has been saying that Marchand is dead to him. He doesn't even want him on the team. And now apparently Mike Ryan said he's okay with it?

Is that what happened? It seems like he's okay with it. You're not really answering the question. You're asking for more information. I'm trying to gather evidence here. Okay, so he's on the bandwagon. He's back on the bandwagon, and he wants back on to enjoy Brad Marchand's career. All right, so again, what's the charge? Is Mike Ryan allowed to root for Brad Marchand next year? Mike Ryan...

is allowed to root for Brad Marchand. There's no timetable on how long it takes for you to come around on a player. It didn't take him that long. I'm willing to look past it. He is allowed to root for Brad Marchand. Now, he is. I rule. Always a Precious.

Is Greg Cody allowed to roll up or leave a funeral playing Beach Boys music too loudly in his car? Greg Cody claims that this was a bonding point between him and the deceased. It's very rare that someone would pull up to a funeral with not only music blasting from the car,

but Beach Boys surfing USA, blasting from the car. Can you tell me again what the charge is? The charge is, is Greg Cody allowed to leave or go to a funeral playing Beach Boys too loud in his car? Okay, I know what the charge is, and he is...

Guilty! He is not allowed to do that. It's disrespectful to the deceased to pull up with music blasting and then you claim that this was a bonding point. Very disrespectful with prejudice. It'd be like if I was jamming to Pearl Jam with You Passed. That's not allowed? Like, why can't I? I would want to celebrate you. It depends. Does everybody know that?

That this was a place that we bonded? What do you mean it depends? Of course it depends. Because did anybody know that Greg Cody and the deceased, that this was a bonding point? Sounds like it's Greg's word against everybody. They didn't know and then he informed them. No, no, you need proof.

He's guilty. - Sometimes the way Zaslow enunciates words, it like rattles around inside my skull a little bit. Does that happen to you guys? - What are you talking about? - Yeah, put it on the poll @LevitardShow. Does the way Zaslow pronounces words rattle around in your skull a little bit? - Not guilty.

The timing on this and the way that this is played out is simply incredible because there is a possibility that there's someone who is at home watching with two televisions who on one television is watching Judge Zaslow and him telling us whether or not Greg Cody can play Beach Boys and Mike can be a Panthers fan. And on the other one,

The jury verdict is in on the Diddy trial, which is a real trial. I'm the judge there also. That will be read soon. So while one of the bigger trials in pop culture in our time is being read, we are now levying verdicts on whether or not Greg Cody can play Beach Boys while you're wearing a helmet. I thought you were going to say as one of the bigger verdicts is being rendered, we also wait for the Diddy verdict.

I thought is what you were going to do there because this is the most important verdict. And I've got one more question for Zaz before I go. I'll allow it. To Jessica. Thank you. Judge Johnny.

A lot of people are still coming after me because I made the mistake immediately after the Stanley Cup final of confusing Sam Reinhardt and Sam Bennett. My excuse is that there are not that many great Sams in sports. At Levitard Show, put it up on the poll. Are there any great Sams? Can you be great at sports if your name is Sam? And who is the most famous of the Sams? Sammy Sosa would like a word. Okay, that's tainted.

What? Whoa. What do you do? Sammy Sosa is a bit tainted. And it's Sammy. Sammy is different. Like, Fred and Freddy are different in terms of athletic greatness. Ed and Eddie are different. The one syllable hurts people. If I throw a Y on it, Bill will tell you. Bill Gill will tell you. You need that Y on the end. Is it a forgivable mistake that I confuse the two Sams is the question for Judge Zaslow. Sam Bennett.

Won the Conn Smythe. A very prestigious award. Sam Reinhart scored four goals in the Stanley Cup clinching game. They both have the same first name. Yeah, we covered all that. Quiet in the court. What?

Your gavel. Quiet in the court. It was quiet. Quiet in the court. I will throw you right out. Like I was saying, confusing Sam Bennett for Sam Reinhardt is a disgrace. Oh, no. And I rule with the most prejudice possible. It's unforgivable, Dan Levitt. Oh, no. Unforgivable. Sam Bradford?

Sam Cassell and Jessica's boy, Sam Hartman. Sam Presti. Is the best of the Sams Sam Bradford? Court adjourned. Seems like it. Sam Madison. I can't believe I didn't get to. Not a lot of Hall of Famers there. Sam Madison's a good one, but I mean, there are not a lot of... Sam Sneed? Sam Uess. Sam Morrell.

Sam Malone. Can you? Sam Malone is also a good one. We have not gotten to Red Panda getting hurt last night. Red Panda, for those of you who are not familiar, is a basketball icon. This is as famous of entertainment as you will find anywhere in the sports experience, correct? If I ask you the most famous of the sports experience entertainers, ah, that never happens to Red Panda. How hurt was she?

Well, apparently, according to Ben Pickman from The Athletic, former coworker of mine, actually, from Sports Illustrated, she was wheeled off in a wheelchair and was seen leaving in an ambulance and it appeared that she may have hurt her wrist.

which, I mean, you can see there she's waving and, you know, is walking off under her own accord. But really sad, kind of put a damper on the whole evening. Obviously, everyone was talking about this as being the big injury from the Fever Lynx game in the Commissioner's Cup, Red Panda. Wheelchair for a wrist. The joke is that Kaitlyn Clark was also out, but you guys don't really watch the WNBA. Someone at home got it.

I was wondering what your thoughts were on Mike Ryan yesterday. Had a lot of thoughts about whether or not he's allowed to hate. I agree. Mike Ryan was absolutely correct. All these soft women say you can't make fun of female athletes anymore. He's absolutely right to hate on an athlete that already gets a disproportionate amount of hate without even watching her games. He's absolutely right.

He said irrational. Do people not get that? Irrationally. It means no ration. Tony, I love your work. Absolutely. Thank you, Miss Sergeant Spain. Somebody finally said it. I mean, I do enjoy the idea of I'm allowed to hate, right, as long as it's irrational. I'm saying it's irrational, so allow me to hate. The qualifier's there. Irrationally. So just allow me to hate.

I'll just say this. It was a bad look for Mike yesterday. And I am just referring to the mustache. Okay. We don't even have to go further than that. We really don't. It is a terrible mustache. Can you guys get me some of the information on Bezos's wedding that, uh,

People are protesting in Venice because I know that the wealth disparity right now throughout the globe is something that a lot of people are now paying attention to. And Bezos is doing something so grotesquely opulent around his wedding that you have people in a city that is used to tourists who are deeply offended by him bringing all of his American money to Venice and essentially just

buying the city for his wedding. They used it as a means to be concerned with the general over-tourism in Venice, and this was a perfect example. So this was in San Giorgio Maggiore in Venice, but based on projections by Forbes, it cost $25 million for the wedding. Guests paid approximately $900,000 each for their three-night stays at luxury hotels based on the projections.

Yeah.

The wedding was catered by three Michelin star chef Fabrizio Mejino. It's not important. Based on restaurants costs for number of guests, over a million dollars in food and beverage. Security costs a few million dollars for the high profile guests. Andrea Bocelli's son, Matteo Bocelli, sang at the ceremony. He sang Can't Help Falling in Love. Ellie Goulding was hired.

to reportedly perform at the reception. Sanchez's corseted mermaid-style wedding dress was custom-designed by Dolce & Gabbana and featured hand-applied Italian lace. Before Friday's celebration, Sanchez herself made her way to Sanji... whatever it was, dressed in a 60s-inspired tailored white skirt designed by Dior for the wedding dinner...

Stop talking. Why? That was a lot of info. I still wanted more. Could have used less. Three days, $900,000 for the hotels. You cover that if you're Bezos, right? Yes. Oprah did not pay to go to Jeff Bezos' wedding a million dollars. Those estimates, by the way, I'm not questioning Jeremy at all, but when everything is

estimates. It's like that thing when the Super Bowl's economic impact is $30 billion to a city. And it's like, yeah, we still can't pay for school. So where'd all that money go? They did the math in the article. I don't think any of that is real. I just, you know.

Yeah, projected. You just say anything is projected this, projected that, and then it buys you time. Yeah, I project that Little Havana is going to be revitalized by Morelands Park. Okay. I think there's a urologist office in the parking garage, and that's it. He's the richest guy on the planet, and you want him to have a cheap wedding? Tony, oh boy. No, no, no. Talk about missing the point. No, but I'm asking. You want him to have a cheap wedding, or do you want him to have a cheap wedding? It would have been hilarious if it was a $60,000 wedding. Yeah, I can't spend that. Sorry.

We are so, so doomed, Dan. I have nothing to say on that. You have Jeff Bezos eloping and getting married by an Elvis impersonator at a chapel in Vegas on a Wednesday night at midnight. That would be hilarious. He went $25 million. That was lower than I thought it would be, given what it is that I was reading about the details on it. Dan, would you go if you were invited? No. Ben?

That's not. Come on. You would not go to that. A who's who of celebrities. You wouldn't go? Why not? If I don't know Jeff Bezos, why would I want to be there? Neither does Sidney Sweeney. Do you think any of these celebrities know Bezos? And her and Tom Brady are canoodling. We're so rich. We can invite whoever we want. Who are the coolest celebrities that make us look cool by them hanging out at our wedding weekend? I'm picturing just a friend of Jeff's back in the day that didn't get invited. And he's just like, what?

Yeah. Orlando Bloom? You'd go. You'd go. Well, that's the other interesting thing, Chris Cody, is that Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry announced like a week ago that they were splitting up. And Katy Perry apparently was not allowed to go to the wedding. And Orlando Bloom got to go to the wedding. So I don't know how that conversation went down. He won the friend face off. Yeah, we know where Katy Perry flew on his.

rocket like a month ago with gail king so somehow orlando bloom still won the bezos wedding invite in the split up docket billy it was moving very quickly there so i don't know who it is that you accused of canoodling was it tom brady with somebody and sydney sweeney yeah those were the reports that they were they were spending a lot of time talking to each other at the uh the nuptials you haven't seen those reports i have not you would have seen it in person had you gone

But you took a moral stand against Jeff Bezos for some reason. Like Leonardo DiCaprio, climate activist. He wore a hat, right? That's crazy. That's just his move whenever there's paparazzi around. I saw photos of him in the wedding without the hat. But just like, dude, we know it's you, Leo. Yeah. He's always just like...

No one knows it's me. Did you guys see? I don't know if you guys felt as bad as I did for Leo recently, but it's been rough times for Leo. He recently got in a relationship with a 27-year-old. I saw that, Billy. He broke his 25-year-old rule.

Everyone's saying it's a recession indicator. That's scary. It's hard times for poor Leo, you know? Where are you guys on the Bezos wedding other than asking me whether or not I would go? All of you would go? All of you if you had to pay your own way? Because keep in mind, you just said $900,000 for three days. These celebrities are paying for things. You didn't make it free for me. They didn't pay for that, Dan. Oprah didn't

pay a million dollars. The way Jeremy read it. Rich people don't pay for anything. Yeah. They don't pay for anything. But that's not what Jeremy said. It's fine that you guys can want your own set of facts, but it's not what Jeremy said. Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy said that the estimated cost of being an attendee is around a million dollars. That doesn't mean that they cover their own costs. I would also like to add that you said you wouldn't go because you're not his friend. But are you open to being his friend and perhaps going to the next wedding?

I would not pay. Again, you guys aren't. The question is, would you go? Not would you pay? It's all expenses paid. Would you go? All expenses paid. Would you go? Maybe for the story. Okay. It is not clear whether the couple was paying for the guest rooms, but two wedding planners say it's standard for ultra lux events like this. So seems like they paid for the weddings. I love how we're all acting like Oprah couldn't foot that bill. I think it'd be fine.

I'm not acting like Oprah can't foot that bill. I'm saying $900,000 for three days seems like a big bill to land on somebody when you're inviting them to your wedding. Across the globe, too. But that's also the classic, would you take $250,000 or dinner with Jay-Z? Imagine all the contacts you could make at the Bezos, Sanchez, Nuptials.

True. You think that you're sidling up to DiCaprio in that cap and walking away friends with him? Yeah, I mean, I think that everybody there thinks that everybody there is somebody.

They may not know who you are, but if they don't know who you are, you actually might be the most popular person there because they're like, well, who's that guy? Do you have? That's Gigi Hadid. I know who that is. Do you have that guy? The friend of his that did get invited. Do you have that guy like going around like pitching ideas? Like I got a movie idea for Leo. I got this idea. Like cousin Jim Bezos. It's just Stugatz. Right. It's just Stugatz walking up to people. You want to come on my podcast? That's Tahoe.

That's right. We don't know if we're going to Tahoe yet, but we will let you know when it is that Stugatz knows. We keep saying we. It's more like they are going to Tahoe. I mean, it's always been they go to Tahoe. I went actually. I got a text about Tahoe last night. That's all I'm going to say. Congratulations. We still don't know. Billy, you've got more information on Tahoe than Billy has. It seems so. Yeah.

I wanted to ask Jeremy if there were any other Bezos facts that they're worth knowing or if we've scarred you. He's gotten all of them wrong so far. Nope. Okay, good work by you. What did you think about Travis Kelsey's comments, Jessica, on the hardest part about hosting Saturday Night Live, which he did very well, right? He had no issues hosting and no one had any complaints about what a natural he was.

But he said the hardest part of hosting SNL was the pre-show table read because, quote, I can't really read that well.

Well, it made me think of this show specifically because, A, we know you love SNL, Dan, and B, we have producers who, when we have to do reads, we constantly screw up because of the pressure of reading. Sometimes reading in front of a group can be hard. So I found this very relatable, and it honestly made me think of Chris Cody. So I wanted to talk about it. It also made me think of me.

Jeremy, how did you hold up with how it is that you were reading those Bezos facts? Because I know you, like Whittingham, are very particular about every single stumble. And then you had one stumble and then more of them arrived after that. Yeah, thanks for pointing that out. Jess makes a good point, which is it's tough to read in front of a group, except I would bet it's easier to do so in front of the SNL people because they probably don't seize information.

on every single time that you misspeak. So it's more difficult to do it here, Chris. So good for you. We should have Travis Kelsey come to the studio and try to read in the shipping container and ask him which one was harder. That would be a good. It's a great idea. Free idea. Stugatz can get them, right? Well, not free. I'll invoice you for that. Things are tenacious today, huh?

Billy mentioned earlier this week that it does not feel like 4th of July week. I don't know what 4th of July week is supposed to feel like, but he was complaining because he didn't want his national holiday on a Friday. That doesn't happen very much in general, does it? I just want the extra days off. If I get on a Thursday, I can get that Friday off. The Friday feels like a cheat code. And if I get the Wednesday and I really want to be a bad boy, I can try to stretch that into a Thursday-Friday-Friday.

maybe Tuesday half day situation, but just the Friday, like a three day weekend. - So you want the week off for Fourth of July is really what you're saying.

No, I'll be there. I'll be there Monday. I'll show up Monday and half a Tuesday in an ideal world. But now it's Monday, Tuesday. Jessica has a top five list here of the top five worst days for 4th of July to fall on. Do you have only seven options? An O.L.I. Any O.L.I. I have two O.L.I. All right. I love this. Go ahead. Number seven. O.L.I. Friday. Friday.

That's the one that's falling on this week. OLI. Wow. That's OLI. So that makes it the best day to fall on. It's the seventh worst, I would say. Okay. And the sixth worst, I would say, is Monday. Okay.

So the OLIs are in numerical order for you. Typically, my OLIs are just OLIs. We couldn't put a number in and pin them down, you know? Yes, you're doing a top seven. No, it's a top five. That's a top seven. No, no. It's a top five. No, yeah. We clarified it. Number five. Okay, number five, Thursday. Number four. Fifth worst day for the 4th of July to fall. Number four, Saturday. Saturday.

Fourth worst, because if it falls on a Saturday, do you even get it? I guess you get a day off Friday at some jobs. That's where you get the federal holiday falls on the Friday. I don't know how that works. Do you? Or a Monday? I don't know. Yeah. A lot of companies will give like the one bookend the week off, but the actual day being on Saturday doesn't do anything for me. Well, it does the fourth worst for me. Is Fourth of July something that it must have landed on a Saturday or Sunday? Yes. But I don't remember it being.

giving another day off during the week to compensate for the fact that the national holiday was on the weekend. This isn't Christmas. Will you tell us, Dan? Someone look it up. We have 4th of July on Saturday next year. Are you going to give us the day off on Friday? No, I'm telling you, we've never had the day before off. You see this as though we don't just take holidays off willy-nilly. Or just days off willy-nilly because there's nobody keeping track of what days you take off. We've got unlimited days off on Friday.

Yeah, I mean, unlimited means unlimited. If you don't want us to take it, give us a number. Yeah, geez. What number are we on? Three? Three. Tuesday. Tuesday is just, that's terrible. That would never be good. It's the third worst because what do you go to work Monday and then you get Tuesday off. No, it's the, it's a list of the five worst days. Oh, this is the worst. My bad. I was not following this. Really? Number two. Number two. Sunday. Sunday.

No one wants a Sunday, 4th of July, Dan. But you may get that Monday. The best of the 4th of July's days to fall on is... No, no, no. The worst, Dan. The worst day for the 4th of July. You need to apologize to Chris right now. Number one. I'm waiting for a sorry. Number one. Go to break. Go to break.

Jeremy, you know something about me, right? You know when I'm grilling outside and it's summertime, you know how I supplement my summertime? Of course I do. I make a Miller Time. Of course. That beautiful white can. Oh, when it's so hot outside, I just put it right to my forehead, right there, and I just roll it sometimes right on the forehead, cool my body down, and then I crack it open.

instant relief and then that first sip brother does that first sip that is a top five sequence of events that you can possibly go through i'm just serenity now when i just imagine that first sip of miller life just thinking about it's making me happy dude the sun is out it's nice you have your friends showing up you got your family there you just had your first sip of miller light and you know what you're happy

You're blissful. You're fulfilled. I've been stocking my cooler with Miller Lite for years and for good reason. It's brewed for taste. Only 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs. This year, Miller Lite turns 50.

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What's up guys, Tony here and I wanted to talk about something super important and that's how I keep my home protected. Obviously you guys know I have a little one back at home. My wife is there with her and I get tremendous peace of mind knowing that the moment I leave for work that my home, my property, my family is protected not just reactively but proactively by Simply Safe.

They are the number one for home security on the planet, on the market. There's nobody better than SimpliSafe. I got the cameras going on. I got indoor cameras. I got outdoor cameras. I'm looking all over the place. Most security systems only take action after somebody breaks in. But you and I know that's too late, especially when you have a little one at home and when

We'll be right back.

Proactively deterring crime before it starts. Everything's on the app. I want to see the cameras. Boom. I see who's walking their dog a little too close to my yard. Maybe leaving some dog residue close to my yard. I can go on the microphone and say, buddy, clean up after your dog. Over 4 million Americans trust SimpliSafe and so do

Do I simply safe is offering levitar show listeners 50% off a new system with professional monitoring. Plus your first month is free. Visit simply safe.com slash DLB to claim this offer. That's simply safe.com slash DLB. There's no safe like simply safe. Dan levitar. I don't like smutty either. Stugats. Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong. This is the Dan levitar show with the Stugats.

Virtually everyone in here and everyone listening to this is more internet savvy than I am. So the question I'm about to ask, I ask with great vulnerability as often I say things about the internet and you guys ravage me like piranha. I often feel like I'm

swimming naked in the Amazon around Piranha when we talk about the internet. I want to know what is happening on a couple of fronts. One, what is happening to information on the internet with AI that makes it so that a simple Google search that I now do is more complicated and more susceptible to misinformation than it has been in the history of Google? And furthermore,

On my phone, I am getting an exasperating amount of I am not a robot exercises that I have to go to identifying buses. Crosswalks. And crosswalks and motorcycles. And it's never just one or two. I have to do it several times. And furthermore, get confused sometimes. Is that guy's head a part of the motorcycle? The rear view mirrors in the motorcycle. When in doubt, click it. But I just want to know.

Why this is happening to me? Why am I getting five and six of these instead of one just when I want to Google search something? And then sometimes you click I'm not a robot and it just kind of accepts it. Do you ever wonder what would happen if you said I am a robot?

That should be an option. I feel like Tom Cruise and his crew from Minority Report. Like, they show up at your door when you click on I am a robot. Well, wouldn't you be clicking I am a robot by just consistently getting wrong where the bus is and the crosswalk's and the motorcycle? It sounds like you are. Yeah, the internet. Five of those that think you're getting them wrong. It thinks you're a robot, Dan. Five. But, like, what happens when you...

It figures out you're a robot. I want to know why it is that I'm not getting immediate access after the first time. Is it because I'm getting it wrong that I'm clicking on a rearview mirror that's not a part of the motorcycle technically in what it is I'm supposed to be proving that I'm not a robot? To me, I'm

always over guessing. So it's like if the toe is on the line, like I'm going towards saying it's a piece of a bicycle or bus or whatever it might be, because if you're even questioning it, that normally ends up getting you through to the website. Do we not think that the computers can kind of figure that out too? Like, is this the best thing we have to block

and computers and like the digital age to get to that website or get whatever information that is? I look forward to whatever the evolution of that is where the computers figure out. It's like, oh, it's a crosswalk here. Bing. I still am not getting a good answer though for usually when you guys do I am not a robot, it's one test and then you get to where it is that you want to go. Yeah, I'm good at that. So you guys are telling me that

I'm answering incorrectly the first time and that's why I'm getting four or five. You guys are telling me that the moment I answer correctly, I'm going to stop getting I am not a robot screen. Sometimes you get two. Yeah. Yeah.

Where you're getting them right. Five, you're getting things wrong. Yeah, if you're getting more than two, I would think you're getting something wrong. To Zazz's point, Zazz, I don't know if in all of the hats that you wear, if you're a lawyer. Are you a lawyer in any of these things that you do? Okay. How do you think I became a judge? I don't know. You've got to be a lawyer first. A pointee? I don't know. It's possible. Nah, dog. Okay, well, I'm just asking a question. I'm trying to give you here. It's just insulting for someone who went to school to be a lawyer, and then you question if they're actually a lawyer. I'm trying to give you gags.

game-changing, life-changing suggestions here for you. An industry that I don't think has existed. Yesterday we were talking about jobs that we didn't know exist. And I was talking about theme park journalists. I didn't realize that that was a job.

And I think that there is a job out there that hasn't been invented yet. And I think that you qualify for it as someone who is a lawyer, which I wasn't sure. I think that you can be the lawyer that represents robot discrimination.

We're trying to keep robots out of all these things. Robots aren't getting their fair shake. Someone needs to stand up for these robots. At some point, a lawsuit will be fired on behalf of a robot that was not allowed into a thing because they could not identify all the traffic lights. And I feel like that could be your lane. So stupid. I don't even know what to say. All right. You're missing a big opportunity here, by the way. Because not only that, in the advanced age of AI and robots, guess who helps them?

You right as they turn on humanity. No wait Zazz is a good one. Look it's closed eyes. He's an idiot He turned down a golden opportunity you start my robo from me and you I like that We don't need a law firmware. I'm out. Okay good. We don't want you anyway, you know idea You're not a real lawyer either. Yeah, we'll be at Jeff Bezos next one. You won't be I don't even know that robots deal with real money and that's why I'm out Buddy you heard a crypto ever heard of Bitcoin. That's not even real. That's not real. Oh Banks work

It's all digital now. Catch up, Jack. You're going the way of the VHS, loser. Let me get some sound here from Paul Feinbaum. He is touting, and this is a really fun thing to do at the beginning of July because I remember many years ago, Be No Cook.

He predicted, was it Ron Paulos or Brady Quinn would win two Heisman trophies? He predicted one of those players would win two Heisman trophies. They obviously did not. But here is Paul Feinbaum saying of Arch Manning, Peyton Manning and what are you laughing about? I just I love this clip. But go ahead. OK, yes, yes. This is this is the nephew of right. This is the nephew of Peyton Manning and Arch.

And Eli Manning. Here is Arch Manning, who's the quarterback at the University of Texas. This is what Paul Feinbaum has to say. They're very capable of doing it again this year. I believe also that Arch Manning is the best college football quarterback we have seen since Tim Tebow entered the scene in 2006. We haven't seen him, though. And look, like, no disrespect, all right, because college football experts, everybody knows, Paul Feinbaum, Heather Dinnich, and me.

I do college football tailgate if you guys spend radio. So everybody knows I'm college football expert. Guy turned down being a lawyer for robots. Don't you think he knows anything about anything? They don't deal with real money. Don't even get me started. It's funny because the best we've ever seen... He appeared in like three games last year. I mean, UT San Antonio...

Mississippi State, the worst team in the SEC. Steve Sarkeesian decided Quinn Ewers is a better option for us to win football games. But Arch Manning might be the best college quarterback we've ever seen. Can he fit?

What is he going to do against Ohio State? August 30th. Better go out there slinging it against Ohio State. We're already talking about Arch Manning is the greatest thing ever. Tank for Arch? Can we see him play a little bit of college football first? It's crazy. Gotta have a better slogan than that. Tank for Arch. We gotta come up with something better. March for Arch. Something. Spitballing. We've hardly seen him play. We don't even know if he's any good at the collegiate level. Be starched for Arch?

I tuned into a, to find bomb yesterday cause I was driving around and I, when you get a car, you usually get like a trial for like satellite radio. So you get anything that's broadcast anywhere. So I'm trying to use it. I've never used it before, but I decided, you know what? I can listen to fine bomb and I did it a couple of weeks ago. So I was trying to listen to fine bomb yesterday, fill in this week.

I don't think there's any show, and I don't want to be rude. It was not PB. I don't want to be rude. PB the goat. I don't remember who it was, but I've never felt as disappointed tuning into a show than tuning into Feinbaum to not get Feinbaum. It just wasn't the same. And the guy's like, coming up, we're going to take callers. I'm like, no, you're not. Feinbaum once threatened to call the attorney general on me. Really? On his show.

On his show. It's a flex. He threatened me to call Jeff Sessions, the Attorney General, and have me thrown in prison. What'd you say? What was your take? It's a true story. What was the take? Okay, so this is like 10 years ago. He didn't know who the hell I am, except he wants to throw me in prison. You're telling me you're playing in an infield celebrity softball game? You threw out Derek Lee 10 years ago? This was before my star turn throwing out. I threw his ass out. That was a hot shot. I threw his ass out. And we used to have a...

We used to have a caller on our show, me and Joy Taylor. We did mornings at 790 a ticket. And we had like a prank caller who used to call other national radio shows. And he would throw my name in there. Like he would work in my name, Big Hitting Prospect, Zaslow. What do you think about calling him up? He would get these guys all the time. And he kept getting through on Feinbaum's show.

And at one point, Feinbaum... Now, we didn't condone nor condemn the caller. Okay? We had nothing to do with it. It was not part of my show. We didn't condone nor condemn. And Feinbaum got so mad after a number of times this guy got through. He was yelling at his producer on the air. He was yelling about me. I'm going to call my friend Attorney General Jeff Sessions. I'm going to have this Zaslow thrown in a gulag. That's what he said. He was going to throw me in a gulag. Gulag.

Gulag is a great word. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is gulag the funniest word for prison? How do you feel about fanning for Manning? Where you're both fanning for him because you're a fan, but you're also swinging and missing. Panning for Manning? Because arch is going to be harder. Arch, starch for arch, march for arch. It's parch for arch. Parch, parch, you're thirsty for arch.

So you're just going to stop drinking so you can have Archie Manning? I'm parched for Arch. You're going to stop winning. You're going to stop the delicious drink and flavor taste of winning. Just living with Cottonmouth because you want Archie Manning? You're going to parched for Arch. It's not great, admittedly, but it needs to rhyme. We're in agreement. Alliteration's not enough, right? It's not enough to have...

an A, ask for arch. You need it. It's the ch at the end. So then you got to go Manning, right? And Fanning and Panning are your only two choices. Planning for Manning.

Manning. Planning for Manning. You like that? All right. So put it on the poll at Levitard Show. I think Panning's the best. What about Tanning for Manning? A tanking team. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. A tanking team's best slogan. Fanning for Manning. Panning for Manning. Being starched for Arch. Tanning for Manning. Starch for Arch. Tanning for Manning.

Tanning for Manning. Yeah, just getting skin cancer because you want Archie Manning. Planning. Darkest fan base. Planning for Manning. Okay. We're in agreement that Manning is going to make this easier than Arch. We're going to quit on Arch, right? No, I'm parched for Arch. So you're mad at Feinbaum for saying that Arch Manning is the best freshman quarterback that I have seen. Freshman quarterback is Jameis Winston.

That's the best I've seen in college football. Obviously, Tim Tebow is sort of the symbol for great college quarterback, right? I'd put Ken Dorsey in there as well, Danny Werfel, just a quarterback who you knew would be good in college but might not necessarily be much of a pro. That's not what they're saying about Arch Manning. Arch Manning, at this point, everyone's in agreement, correct, that Arch Manning will be an NFL quarterback. I don't even know if he's good in college. Yeah.

Play an SEC team, not Mississippi State. It doesn't matter if he's good in college or not. He's going to be a professional football player. He's going to be the number one overall pick, even if he's not good in college. I feel like it has to matter.

Wait a minute. I'm pretty sure that we could go look up Tim Boyle's numbers, and he has never had good numbers at any level of play, even high school, and yet he has started NFL games. I don't believe outside of injury that there is any sort of chance that Arch Manning will not throw a game as a starter in the NFL. Nathan Peterman was in the NFL, for God's sake. In three years at UConn, it was one touchdown and 13 interceptions for one Tim Boyle.

Matt Castle never started at USC, so I guess it is possible. Those guys weren't projected number one overall pick. Makes a little bit of a difference, right? Well, if you had to bet and be right, though, Arch Manning will throw an NFL pass as an NFL starting quarterback. Yes or no? Yes.

But there's your answer on why it is people are doing this, even though we haven't seen him play much. Like I saw, I saw Texas struggling a little bit, trying to move the ball. And then they put in Arch Manning when their season ended and Arch Manning made for Ewers coming right back into the game because they shouldn't have done that.

He wasn't ready. He couldn't beat out what is a sixth-round pick who is now a backup quarterback for the Miami Dolphins. It was an injured Quinn Ewers coming back, too. I think it was in the Red River rivalry, and they tried Manning at the end of the first half. He didn't do anything either. I got news for you. Oklahoma sucked last year. Not at defense, they didn't, but they were generally bad. Didn't they play him a little bit in the eliminator against Ohio State? Didn't Arch Manning come into the game in the championship game? I don't think he threw any passes.

The expectation on this human being, though, because he has that name on the back of his uniform is impossibly high. It is unbelievably weird to have a situation with a quarterback you have seen play sparingly, identified by Paul Feinbaum as the best quarterback since Tim Tebow. It's definitely never happened before, right? That a quarterback is projected to go number one overall. We really haven't seen yet.

That's never happened, has it? Projected number one overall coming into college and can't get on the field his first couple of seasons because the starter there is established. And I would say that Quinn Ewers was one of

the-named quarterbacks in the sport last year, top five names of who you'd want quarterbacking your team, and he couldn't beat him out. I mean, well, I don't know about that, but we're also saying he couldn't get on the field, but that's because of where he chose to go. He could have gone to any school and been the starter had he wanted to. FAU probably would have started. He chose to go there knowing he probably wasn't going to start. Like, it was a decision that

they consciously made. Right, but Sarkeesian decided that Quinn Ewers was the better option. That's correct. Like he's trying to win a national championship, Sarkeesian. That's right. And he decided Quinn Ewers... He had a team that was points away from being as good as Ohio State last year, and he started the other guy.

Jeremy, you know something about me, right? You know when I'm grilling outside and it's summertime, you know how I supplement my summertime? Of course I do. I make a Miller Time. Of course. That beautiful white can. Oh, when it's so hot outside, I just put it right to my forehead, right there, and I just roll it sometimes right on the forehead, cool my body down, and then I crack it open and...

instant relief and then that first sip brother does that first sip that is a top five sequence of events that you can possibly go through i'm just serenity now when i just imagine that first sip of miller life just thinking about it's making me happy dude the sun is out it's nice you have your friends showing up you got your family there you just had your first sip of miller light and you know what you're happy

You're blissful. You're fulfilled. I've been stocking my cooler with Miller Lite for years and for good reason. It's brewed for taste. Only 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs. This year, Miller Lite turns 50.

There's five decades of cookouts, laughs, and ice cold moments that never miss. It's the original light beer, and it's still my go-to. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com slash dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.