The Big Suey: Around the Mourn & BabyBjörn
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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. A handful of amazing things that will pass for the analysis of the game action last night, just so that you have some context on what it is was just completed.

Tim Reynolds points out that the Panthers have won two cups in 358 days. The Maple Leafs have won two cups in 22,333 days. You have McDavid in games six and seven last year. He was plus one and zero points. McDavid in games five and six this year to Greg's point, minus five and one point.

Conor McDavid is the only player in NHL history to have nine straight 90-point seasons but not win the Stanley Cup in any of them. And then this in Greg Cody's column. I have written and said for two years that McDavid should not be called McJesus or the next Gretzky or given goat status because he is a king without a crown. Look at him, swagger.

Look at him, swigging confidently before we even get going. He's ready because I'm reading his words as poetry and he's never been more right. The senile old man wrote in the Miami Herald an ancient tablet from another time. I have written and said for two years that McDavid should not be called McJesus or the next Gretzky or given goat status.

because he is a king without a crown. The Panthers, again, have verified my claim and served to underline my admittedly harsh criticism. The nickname for McDavid is just McOverrated. Look at him. The bar. Standing from on high like Michael Jordan after making the 6-3 against Portland, shrugging his shoulders because he can't believe how amazingly right he is. Greg, is it the proudest you've ever been about a column or a

a sports opinion that you've written? I'm, I'm, I have to admit Zaz, I'm, I'm, I'm not, not proud of it because, because I created a lane. Nobody else before or since has sort of jumped on board and said, you know what? He was right. And people still are slow to say it because of that hockey cult I mentioned earlier, but there's no question that by how I define overrated, uh,

He absolutely is. And like I say, I feel more right about that now after this series than I did a year ago when it went to seven games. Well, if I can offer just some bit of context here, because we are like that's going to end up being the.

condensed analysis that I don't think is fair to McDavid because of what I'm about to say. In this series, I know it was a six game series and I know that Edmonton won two of the games, but it could have easily been a Panther sweep, right? Those games, like they were played the way Edmonton wanted to play them. And then by the end of the series, we were no longer playing the way Edmonton wanted to play. However, over the course of the series,

the panthers led for more time than anyone's ever led in a series before like it went six games but edmund was trailing for all but 33 of the minutes in the games like

This is an all-time dominance by an all-time team. It was very much done to McDavid. When he says it's not a choke, it's Barkov happened to him. Because on the third line, they've got another guy they're talking about like baby Barkov because he sees the ice the same way. And he's also a two-way player. And McDavid's great, but the Panthers have more

of them the Panthers are are 15 deep it feels like and they just flogged the two players that Edmonton had the Panthers are confidently playing their fourth line and and you're barely seeing how many times did you say last night amazing shift from the fourth line it's just like I said it three or four times last night and that's the thing like home ice advantage in the playoffs what home ice advantage is is that and and Chris will be able to tell you this you get last change

Okay, last change is an actual home ice advantage where Paul Maurice can make sure Barkov is on the ice as much as possible when he sees McDavid is on there because the Panthers get last change. But here's the thing.

It's not that or it wasn't that big of a deal for the Panthers, even the road games, because you got these three lines and it's like, OK, if we can't get the specific matchup we want, it's OK, because we're so confident in our top nine forwards that we could just roll these guys out. And that's that's what you saw, especially as the series went on, man. Calling McDavid overrated after losing to this specific Panthers team the last couple of years.

It would sort of be like what the reactionary thing would have been if after Oklahoma City lost to the Big Three Heat that you called Kevin Durant overrated. Now, to say that on the show, we have done that. He has no rings. He was also a lot earlier in his career than McDavid is, I believe. For sure. For sure. He was early in his career, but he was still

well on his way to being not only one of the faces of the league, but it was obvious that he was going to be a legend in the league. And maybe if that had happened four or five years down the line, sure. You could have started having those conversations. But to me, this is just an obvious example with the stats Dan laid out. One team being a whorehouse.

whole other galaxy ahead of the other. You know, last year, after the Panthers won last year, we all would have sat here and said, McDavid is definitely going to win a Stanley Cup at some point in his career. Have we changed that opinion after seeing him lose again? Greg said he wouldn't.

I was scared of him the entire series, and then by the end, I had no reason to be. So, Greg, I don't want to get you excited, and I don't want to be accused of starting rumors, but I will say this. Yesterday, Steve Levy, we all know Steve Levy, reputable voice of hockey, correct? Yeah, I know that guy. Would you agree he's a reputable voice? Yesterday, he was on Jim Rome, and he said, quote, there's a lot of talk within the sport that if they don't win this year, McDavid might look elsewhere. Greg, I think now's the time you start printing up some McJudas shirts today.

and have them ready to go for a year from now. Yeah, I'm already putting lighter fluid on your incendiary breaking news, really, by Billy that McDavid may end up in a Panthers uniform.

Is this as right as you've been compared, Greg Cody, to how the most wrong you ever were, which was the column you wrote trading Dan Marino that then resulted in you doing an interview in front of the Miami Herald in which we had to distort your voice and also silhouette you like a whistleblower in the interview because you were so ashamed to show your face? You know about that reality? I saw the column when I walked into the office. How hard did you laugh?

I read the whole thing and I'm aware of it. Now I will serve at the altar of Greg. So I'm not here to cast stones at one column. It was a ridiculous column. Marino. Marino and Mitchell. Yeah. So I'm not, I'm not here to cast. And in this whole conversation, the pride that Greg feels, I want to know the pride that Chris feels.

And having a dad who could be... Well, there's the Marino trade. Yes, yes. Scott Mitchell! Scott Mitchell. I mean, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You don't know what haul you would have gotten for Marino, too. I mean, in fairness, he didn't bring any Lombardis down to Miami, so... Thank you. Thank you, Billy. Thank you, Billy. That trade Marino column, by the way, in retrospect, is now surrounded by perfume. It has aged well.

The trade Marino column? Well, that's 93. And if I remember correctly, Mitchell had a good Thanksgiving game for the Lions soon after that where he was operating at a high level. I don't think that column is put it in the office bad. I don't think it is.

I think it's nice to see in the office. I appreciated laughing at it, but I'm not going to call that the worst column in the history of the Miami Herald. Thank you. You're looking at Dan. Do you have one in mind? What a compliment.

I only rank Dan's PTI appearances as the worst in ESPN history. That's all. They're on the internet, Dan. I didn't invent this. The worst odds makers of all time. If you go to YouTube right now, you and Skip Bayless, come on. That was the low point in odds maker history. We don't need to have that conversation. I want to get back to Pryde. Yes, yes, he did.

I was there. I was there. I want to get back to the pride. Chris feels in having a father who got everything right and is now seeing things ahead of everybody. Honestly, I am impressed with him because I have felt the pressure the last two years of the cult my dad speaks of. I've been afraid to agree with him on Connor McDavid because if you do it, all hockey fans attack you. So I will give him credit because everyone has always kind of couched it with he's an idiot for saying it, but he does need to win a title. So...

You get to be right, Dad. I am proud of you for this take. And by the way, I want to just note, almost parenthetically, that in the first two games of this series, McDavid had four combined points, four assists. In the final four games of this series, when his team needed him most, he had two total points, a goal and an assist. That's when he really disappeared is during crunch time in this series. I also want to say one thing about how good this Panthers team is.

Okay, Bennett wins the consmith, right? There were five or six, legit, there were five or six players who might have... Can I stop you for just a second here, Greg, just because we're this deep into the show and this is the first any of us would be mentioning of somebody just scored four goals to separate themselves from everyone else and give a trophy that Marshawn was going to win if he scored those four goals. But again, first mention, I'm not kidding when I say this, I mean,

When I tell you, will hockey fans remember the four goals scored to end McDavid to win a second championship? There aren't a lot of times in hockey history you can point to a guy winning the Conn Smythe at the end because he scored four goals in the clincher. And we could have five other guys that we would say also played almost close to as well.

Right. Well, two of Reinhardt's goals were empty netters, but not taking away from a four-goal performance. And Reinhardt is one of those five or six players who very easily could have won the Conn Smythe. One of them, again, is Bobrovsky, who I thought was fabulous almost all of this playoff run. God, I wanted him to get that shutout so bad. I know. Most fans did.

But the saddest goal. That was the saddest goal ever. I didn't even know what happened. It was. I was like, just like, you know, wait, oh, they scored? Oh, there's a one up there now.

But let me tell you why Bobrovsky did not finish higher in the consmite voting than he did. Go on. The reason is that Florida scored 94 goals in 23 playoff games, more than four per game. And the average was higher than that in the final series. Florida had a 2-0 lead just about every game. They led in the last five games of this series. The pressure on Bobrovsky was really lowered consistently.

because this team was so relentless offensively, as well as playing terrific defense. This final result is not the least bit of a fluke. The hugely better team won and made the best player disappear. Bigly.

Get out of here, Greg. Good talking to you. You've been vindicated. Congratulations. Billy, do you have any advice for him before this White Hat podcast? Put up on the screen, by the way. We've dented the most historic and hallowed trophy in sports already. It's been in our hands 12 hours. We've dented the thing. That's obviously outside the elbow room. That's how it's looked for 50 years. Why does the guy even bother with

like the gloves and like wiping it down after people touch it. It's such a waste of his time, honestly. That's Kachuk, right? That's Kachuk? I don't know. That could be Forsling. Yeah. I'm not sure. I think the shipping container is going to have to offer Kachuk an apology. He said after the game he tore the abductor off the bone and was dealing with a hernia on the same side of his body. So he was able to play. That's how he started the playoffs and then played and said got healthier as he played. He's like, yeah, I started to get healthy. Yeah.

As he got used to it. Yeah. He got used to the hernia. Tore the adductor off the bone and also a hernia. Greg, good talking to you. I think Mike Ryan described that as banged up. Yeah, yeah. We expect him to get out there even though he's banged up.

Tony, you were right to point out the positivity of father and son, Chris Cody. It's a beautiful thing, guys. Chris Cody is very happy today. And Cody, I'm going to allow you now to go to the elbow room. How about that? Wow. All it took was praising your dad a little bit. What a reward. And this is what happens. Positivity begets positivity. Thank you, Tony. And thank you, Tony, for bringing the positivity of a championship upon arrival. You're welcome.

the elbow room somehow and this I didn't think was possible about to get pinker can you talk to me about the elbow room a little bit as somebody who is from out of town and now I'm seeing images of what looks to be a bomb shelter yeah and I'm not really feeling what it is minimalistic partying and the story I was trying to tell you before about Zach Thomas that I sort of rushed through is that athletes uh

who represent Broward County and like to be Broward people, aren't necessarily Dade people, wherever it is that Miami is divided here. And culturally and nationally, or culturally and historically, Wayne Huizenga sort of separated the line between Miami and Fort Lauderdale. And he built something sports in Fort Lauderdale that was for, like this Panther team and like Zach Thomas and Trace Armstrong and Jason Taylor before him,

for two different Americas. There's Dade County America, and then there's Sawgrass Mills, Broward County, Fort Lauderdale America. Ours is crazy ethnic. Fort Lauderdale is largely super white. The Elbow Room is the epicenter and soul of 50 years of white spring break partying from

I don't know. I'm going to say Frankie Valli's time, whenever Spring Break was popular in the 70s. So for 50 years, the elbow room has been a concrete slab where people party and do things that are not to be talked about and are to be forgotten as soon as you get outside of the realm of whatever that devil death bin of excess is.

It's so great that right after the game, everyone's just tweeting out from everywhere, all over the country, Elbow Room's going to be lit tonight. The Stanley Cup official account asked if Matthew Kachuk was bringing the trophy back to Elbow Room, but to defend Broward County and our diversity for just a second.

A plurality is white. 33% white, 31% Hispanic, 27% black. So, you know, there's some diversity, just a different type of diversity. Improving, improving diversity. And yes, I'm saying, hi, Zango, long time ago, my information is somewhat dated. It's changed. I mean, I also count as Hispanic, so. It's yes, Jeremy. No, Jeremy sound Hispanic to you? Put it on the poll. If you met a Jeremy, would you think he's Hispanic?

At Levitard Show. My name was almost Ephraim. Would that have helped? It's my grandfather's name. Meho, no?

So if we had Mike here, I don't think any of these guys are veterans of the elbow room. But Zaslow's got it, right? It's just dirty white excess for 50 years. It's a Buffalo Bills bar during the NFL season. That's the type of slice of South Florida you're getting. But also, I'm guessing the seats are still concrete and it hasn't been updated in 50 years. Since the day it was built. No shot.

It's sticky everywhere. Right, so you still got the Jagermeister on the floor and you're sticking to the floor when you walk through. I got you. Spring breaks for 50 years have washed against that thing and it still stands. All the venereal diseases, all the drugs...

And it's spring break every weekend there. Like whatever you think spring break in Fort Lauderdale is, it's happening at the Elbow Room every single weekend. Look, you guys see what's happening in the world and how dangerous everything is. The only things that would survive a nuclear holocaust in South Florida are the Elbow Room and Drew Rosenhaus. Yeah.

That place is going to be awesome today because last year, no one really thought about it. It's like, oh, whoa, the cup is at Elbow Room. Let's go. And now everyone just knows. Everyone is going. I would imagine it's really crowded right now where compared to last year, Kachuk arrived with the cup and it's like, you

There weren't that many people there. Then all of a sudden, you know, we got word of mouth and people showed up. Well, that's what happened. Kachuk ran into the ocean with the cup, people heard, and then went, and now it becomes a thing. Because last year was Barkoff in the streets with the cup, denting it in a golf cart. You know, this is, the story I was beginning to tell you about the elbow room is so it's,

Where dolphins would go drinking during the day on a weekday and Larry Izzo and Zach Thomas would think it's smart to try and race to a buoy deep in the ocean and...

Izzo would crap out and Zach would get there and not realize that the buoy is slippery and he's exhausted and someone's going to need to rescue him. Or the middle linebacker for the Miami Dolphins is going to drown and nobody's going to have an explanation. And the explanation is going to be the elbow room. That's what it's like. And that's it. Like, can you imagine? Dolphin dies at sea. Cause of death, the elbow room. Just show them a picture of the place. They'll understand.

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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Don Libetard. Our Panther group chat, we're confident against the lightning. This is a different team. You're a Panther group chat, though. No, I think. No, but dude, you're so wrong on that. We've been terrified of this team forever. And I think there's a different energy where the Panthers, they want the lightning. Stugatz. I want t-shirts made for this Panther run. What could be this Panther run? Our Panther group chat, we're not afraid of the lightning.

That's a tagline for World Raw 3. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugats.

So Roy and Chris are headed out there, and now Billy is in charge, air traffic control, and I'm worried about what Wild Willie Wednesday is about to become. But Zaslow, where did you party? How did you party? And you weren't able to get into the game because you lost an unfortunate bet that I don't remember what it was about. So that's what happened. I thought we were deciding whether to choose which child is going, but the bet superseded all of that.

Well, yeah, I lost. It was supposed to be Shea Gildas Alexander was supposed to get points, rebounds, assists over 49 and a half. He ended up with 43. My younger son was so mad. He was so mad. So your degenerate gambling resulted in...

sons. Yeah, them not being able to go to the game, but that's okay. That's okay. So we watched the game last night at the Zaslow Mansion in the Zaslow Mansion family room. Me, my two teenage boys, my father, we had three generations of Zaslows because we won a Stanley Cup in the Zaslow Mansion family room last year with that crew. My father came over again. We all watched together, had my neighbor, his son. So we had a good crew. All right. We ran it

from game five because that's the group that won game five so we had to have him back last night to win game six and we had a great night there was uh i'm i'm pretty hungover today it was a lot of action in the zaslow mansion family room last night i don't know where mike ryan is today because i'm imagining that this is the team he cares about the most right more than the heat more maybe well hurricanes are we counting hurricanes

Okay, probably Hurricanes now because he's invested, but Mike's career in this industry began interning for the Panthers. And so when Tony can speak to what it is to grow with something, right, in a way that connects your lifetime to choices. Mike Ryan chose a life in sports despite the terrible experience he had with management of the Panthers. Yeah, I was going to say, like, it's interesting that that made him love the team so much because they had horrendous management and they were a horrendous team

But it's where his love of sports began, and it's where it started the journey toward making a career in this or thinking that you could. And so he'll forever be grateful to this team, and I think he cares about it more than the Heat that way. He started liking them when they were good again, for sure.

Well, that's true. He was also blinded by the Marchand this season. They just couldn't get past it. And that's an unfortunate thing. What I'm trying to observe here, just as an outsider, is, well, now we got two. And this game, in the end, wasn't even close. It wasn't. And now there's something about Zaslow. We were saying you have a puff in your chest today. And it's almost like this is old hat time.

The shirt fits better. He looks different. I got a glow to me. Is this becoming too familiar? No, no. It's something that I can get used to. I can get used to all this. I was wondering that too, Tony, because Zaz probably experienced this differently because he was working for the heater before.

with the heater, however you want to say it at the time. Right? Yeah. So at the end of the big three run, people won't admit this, but I'll tell you, I'll shoot you straight. At the end of the big three run, there was a bit of like championship fatigue. Like year four, there was kind of like,

people were not as excited about the big three and LeBron anymore. The games were still sold out, but the tickets weren't as hard to get as they were before. It was an easier ticket to score. You could go to the games. Right. So now you're inventing side quests. Now it's not just about the championship. It's about one particular route that we can

Yeah, I hear you. You're just expected to be in the finals every year. You went three straight. This is where the Panthers find themselves exactly where the Heat were after year three. Three straight appearances in the championship round, two straight championships. Now you're going potentially for a three-peat. But there was a feeling there with the Heat that I'm wondering if there is for the Panthers here. Yeah.

It's not the same because in the NBA, or the NBA is not like that now. I mean, we're going to have seven consecutive unique champions in the NBA. But back then, we all knew at the start of the season, the Heat are going to be in the finals. The Heat are going to be in the finals. The Panthers, no matter how good they are, we'll go into next season. I can't sit here and say,

Panthers are definitely going to be back in the Stanley Cup final. That's the charm of this team, though. Again, you guys are living it, you're breathing it. I'm watching it from afar. I'm seeing a team that I don't know if they're the best team on the ice. I don't know it until I see it with my eyes. And now...

Now, I'm going to say some stuff about Greg Cody here that I wouldn't say to his face because he should be crowing the way that Greg's going to crow. But I don't think McDavid is overrated. I think this is the worst possible matchup for him in a big spot. I do. So I think styles make fights. And this has become one-sided, this matchup, this rivalry now that we have.

And it's the worst possible matchup for that one particular player. Like, Tony, they were so good, Edmonton, throughout the Western Conference playoffs. They had won 13 of 15 games at one point. They were so good. So here we are with a team that can operate, can be high-octane, they can do a lot of things. But you get one matchup.

And for me, it's probably McDavid-Barkov. It's something of that nature. And then it's the second and third line that has a very defensive forward position. That's what makes this team different. And that's all it really takes to elevate to the next level. This is going to now be viewed as an all-time team.

I absolutely think it is. But when you're going through a season, you're not going to say they're light years ahead of everybody else. They're not. Until you see it on the ice against a particular opponent. And that's domination. As you have the stat in front of you, Dan. They led by more minutes than any other team in 70 years. And then it went on to be the all-time record. Oilers led after one period of the series. Yeah, so that doesn't happen.

That just doesn't happen, and it doesn't happen to the Oilers. You can, in hockey, take away a team's best player, but this particular matchup, and it gets down to Barkov for me, what he does to McDavid, that's the one solve that no one else in the league has. He was amazing last night, too. So it's not like you have a copycat.

Can we get Barkov? Yeah, you can get a Barkov. Maybe Florida has a mini Barkov on their third line. But until you get one, there's no copycat to that. It's hard to get a Barkov. To the comparison point of the Miami Heat or the Big 3, you look at what that was in those four years. It was wall-to-wall coverage on ESPN. On every platform you could mention, there was wall-to-wall coverage of the Miami Heat.

We talked about the Panthers nationally for three minutes. Hey, they won. They're already on to the NBA Finals. They're already on to what's happening in training camp for the NFL. It's different where nobody's talking about the Panthers. So how can you get fatigued about something you don't talk about?

Well, let me explain why it is the show will be doing what it is doing throughout the day today for four hours straight. Kachuk has been asked if the Panthers are a dynasty, and he says, hell yeah, absolutely. There have only been three back-to-back champions in our city's history. It's LeBron's team. It's the undefeated Dolphins. If you're a back-to-back champion in our city, it's not University of Miami, right? It's professional sports, right?

Canes didn't win back-to-back either. No, yeah, excuse me. Sorry, I thought they had won one. They did, they got robbed. I thought they had won two in a row. You're right. So, the

The Panthers enter a class that there are only three of in the city's history, and the Oilers were outscored by the Panthers 13-4 in the first period in the series, including 9-0 in the last four games. So what Tony was saying about 13-15, the Oilers started the playoffs down 0-2 to the Kings and were down in the last five minutes of games three and four and then just reeled off like crazy.

something that could have and should have won the championship playing that way, except it ran into Tony saying the one thing it couldn't run into where your best player is suffocated by their guy and then the 10 guys behind him. The McDavid stopper. I mean, that's basically what we were talking about. You never won back-to-back championship, Zaz, for Journalist of the Year in...

I'm a two-time champion broadcaster. Yeah, yeah. And that was back-to-back. Well, there you go. So that's another dynastic performance. Did you guys hear, and I failed to ask Greg Cody, he's made Brad Williams his former friend now. Yeah, what's that about? Former friend because Brad Williams went on the White Hat podcast and Greg Cody is...

is feeling himself these days. Billy, how are you feeling in the role there? Because I thought I wanted you to give me the ability to play the sounder, your Wild Willie Wednesday sounder on this thing. Because when you asked Zaz if he's already tired of championship fatigue...

It's an asinine thing to ask him. No, it's not. That was a real thing that happened with the Heat. People just assumed they were going to be in the finals every year and honestly took for granted the last finals appearance because you just assumed LeBron will be back, this is going to go on forever, and then boom, just like that, he's watching a soccer game, not listening to Pat Riley, and he's gone. And the whole thing falls apart. Chris Boston has his kidney thing and he's gone. Dwayne Wade gets in a fight with Pat Riley. He's gone just like that. Boom.

You know what I mean? It all evaporated very quickly. Zoe's the kidney though. Yeah, Zoe's the kidney. Oh, whatever. Blood clots for Bosh. Tomato, tomato. One thing can kill you, the other thing can kill you. It's the same thing, yeah. Yeah, I mean... You guys, how does it always devolve into this? Death. Grief.

Mourning, literally and figuratively. How does it always devolve into that for you guys? Look to your left. I thought we should have played a game called Around the Mourn, and it could have been around grief and Alonzo Mourning trivia. That's an idea. Yeah. Of all the ideas you've had, that's one of them. What else did you want to play? Around the Porn. Of course you did.

But instead he wanted to do positive around the Bjorn. Oh man, baby Bjorns are awesome by the way. Tony, listen to this. The relief on your neck and shoulders right here. Anytime I put her in the baby Bjorn, she takes a shit.

It's incredible. She's a little constipated. Put her in the baby's room. Bam. You're still at that age where it smells great, right? Six months, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because you're not on solids. We're going to start solids now in a bit. Dan. I'm a little worried. Pre-solids. Baby poop. It smells like wayawa. It is. Absolutely. I'm not going to lie to you, Dan. Not wayawa. I'm telling you. Wayawa smells fine. Wayawa smells fine. It smells fine is what I'm saying. I've smelled it. I've been like...

Oh, God. I would say plan rollatini. I mean, it's a wonderful, I mean, there is a freshness to it. There is. It's still a new experience. You're saying the first, if you tell me the first six months of baby poop scent is Wayara, it smells nice. It smells fine. I think it is built in humans so we don't,

discard our children. I don't remember it. In the cave. You don't remember it. I don't remember it. It's been a long time for you, those ass. I think it smelled terrible. No, it doesn't smell for a while. When it starts smelling, though, it hits you and you're like, oh boy, what did I do? But Dan started this with he wants to talk about playing around the porn.

Or something. So you came up with questions overnight? You were writing questions? Were you doing research and everything? Or Around the Mourn, a trivia game about grief and trivia about Alonzo Mourning. What's the trivia about grief? Like, who shot JFK? Like, what are you doing? It's not a real idea. What's the saddest part of life? Do you pick which question you want? Like, something about mourning or something about mourning? Is that what it is? Yes, that's the joke. You never know which one's coming. Yeah.

Got a lot of Zo stats there for you. Yeah, you don't know whether the question's going to be a serious, super serious grief question that's going to make you sad. Would you attend their funeral? Or is it going to be about Alonzo Mourning? What was the name of the woman who raised him? Would you attend their funeral is an interesting game segment, though. We thought of some games we could play, early days of PTI. This is when we were together doing Party Interruption Day. Who would you rather be stuck in an elevator with? But...

Would you attend their funeral? It's a great game. It's an interesting game. Well, we've been playing it here. Should we play it with Tony Reale? Should we play the... Nah. He'll go to everyone. He wants to play it. He thinks it's an interesting game. He would be at everybody's house. I'm not the one to play. But you don't think I can put someone for you right on the line? You don't think I can put... They would call me Mr. 3 to 5, 7 to 9. I would show up both sessions of the funeral book.

How long? Three to five, seven to nine. I'll be there for both shoulders. How long is your message in the book that you write? You flip the page with your goodbye message. This is something we touched upon on South Beach Sessions. Let me go ahead and tease that. Right? We got to this. What I write. I'm a writer. I like to write cards out to people. I'm in the process of doing that after we had the finale of the TV show.

But I had to change. I had to take myself and my mind over what I would want for myself and think, you know what, actually what I should be writing for somebody who's in that position. Because how I feel about something isn't necessarily how someone else should feel about something. And that's what we get to. He gets to the core of that.

South Beach Sessions coming out tomorrow. We've broken the top of the cup as well now. There's more news. Oh, whoa! That's a fracture. That's a Russ situation.

So the cup has been in our hands for 12 hours, and the bottom of it is dented, the most hallowed trophy in sports. Also, we've just broken the top of it. Break that shit. That's our cup. Two years in a row, break that shit, dude. Break it and bury it under the remains of Wannadoo City at Sawgrass Mills Mall. Who cares? Who cares?

The guy with the white hair is going to come back with another one. Oh, this is the Stanley Cup. No, we've got eight of them. Sorry. Break that shit. Actually, Tony, you're right about this. We learned the last time the Cup was here, most hallowed trophy in sports, we interviewed the guy who protects it, and then I think someone whispered, yeah, there are like a dozen of them.

I was like, this is the fake one. I was like, then why is he treated with so much respect? Who cares? Oh, I can't touch it. There are 12 guys running around with 12 trophies and whatever. They'll make 12 more. Break that shit. We're going to break all of them. We're going to keep breaking them. I'm going to tell Chris, when he gets to the elbow room, break that shit. That's not right. That's disrespectful, Canada.

Can't be liking that Florida treats the trophy that way. Hold that. No, that's not cool, Tony. You don't care about hockey. You don't respect the company. He's got a shirt and a hat. Who has more hockey stuff right now than me? Yeah. Literally who? Nobody. Not one person. I'm wearing skates right now. Zaslow, is one of your sons at the elbow room? My 16-year-old's at elbow room right now. What? Like with a fake? That can't be.

What do you mean? Don't blow up a spot, dude. They're going to look for the young Zaslo? If they're not going to let him in the doors, like, he's outside. Like, they're bringing the cup right outside, walking on the beach. And my son's there. Yeah. But does he have your old ID? No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no. I mean, you guys probably have a similar, you know, whole situation. Yeah. I mean, yes.

His hair is a different color than mine, so I don't know. Yeah, you're right. But there's the fullness. Young Zaslow. Dan, did you notice that everybody here, like the big hockey guys, big Panthers, everyone's beard was already trimmed. They waited zero minutes to trim their beard, shave their beards immediately. Chris Cody's beard was completely groomed.

I was like, did you race home to do that last night? He's like, oh, first thing in the morning, trim the beard. They wanted nothing to do with their playoff beards anymore now that it was done. By the way, buzzer at 630 in the morning while my wife is sleeping, not the play. Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Levitard Show. Does baby poop smell fine slash nice? Until we get to solid foods, right? Then it changes. Until we get to solid foods.

I believe the next incarnation of Tony Reality's life will have a lot of parentage. I hope it has a lot of parentage stuff in it. Although I learned during the South Beach session that you mentioned, I did not realize that you were still at ESPN. Thank you very much. Well, but you're not on air anymore, right? At the moment, I'm not on air. I'll be happy to... He's my co-worker. Colleagues. I don't have the back-to-back...

broadcaster of the year awards. Nobody's perfect. Neither is he. But you're going to be on the air these next couple of months? Oh, I mean, any conversation would be fine. I mean, I'd be happy to work. I'm happy to work. I'm here to work. Okay, I'm sorry. No, but I'm just saying, like, I don't understand, you don't understand, none of us understand, it's not been explained well by anybody why we would cancel a very popular show, but I was talking the other day about, like, the idea, and look, I'm not going to put Tony in the bad spot here at

Seems like you are. No, I'm just going to explain this part to the audience because to the degree that you should care about something that has been carefully crafted and deserves to be curated and treated with respect because Tony built one of the rarest things there is, an audience uniquely sort of his that will go with him because they like the man that he grew up to be over 23 years.

You did how many shows? 4,900? Horn was 4,953 episodes, yeah. All right, so you were 47 from 5,000. And just where it is that corporations get a little careless. Bryant Gumbel was one year on the best sports television show there is from 30 years, HBO Real Sports. It got to 29 years.

The idea that he's being paid right now, but there are not shows when he could have gotten to $5,000. I don't think about that. Okay, well, I do. I do. You haven't said this to me. I'm saying this because it's just— Nobody knows what episode you're on today right now, though. You're 20 years of DLS. What episode is it? You don't even know what episode you're on. I don't know, but YouTube.com slash—

At Tony Reale is where you will find stuff that he will be doing to keep Around the Horn alive. Oh, for a little bit, but I'm going to be cooking in there. Is this part of Around the Morn right now? That's a good game. It's a good game. It's the worst game I've ever heard. Yeah, it's a game. So do you prefer to do Around the Porn? Neither's option. Around the Bjorn?

I'm in. Because Tony, when you were doing the Bjorn and you were putting the baby in something, but I thought the Bjorn, we wore it here, right? So the Bjorn is the actual, the brand name of it. They have different products. I'm doing the one that's like, it's almost like a sling that she sits in on the floor. So I'm tired of holding her, put her right on there, and then she sits down in it.

and it kind of... This is new for me. I'm the rap. I'm a rap myself in my human, my little human, rap myself in a human. But Tony's not, Tony Kaladiud is not, he's not describing a Bjorn. He's describing something else that the baby poops in. Baby Bjorn is now a full line of accoutrement. Mine is the bouncer, right? So she sits in the bouncer and then she can bounce herself and then I think at

the angle, she's like, ooh, I like this. It's almost like a squatty potty for the baby because she starts realizing, wait a second, this position, I can kind of let things rip. Boom, she lets it rip. I can't tell you how many times I've had to take the thing out and change it because it poops everywhere. But we can look for a baby Bjorn bouncer, which is what I have. So a Bjorn can be a Bjorn or a Bjorn can be a bouncer, but a bouncer can't be a Bjorn.

Unless it's made by the company. Unless the guy working in the elbow room's name is Bjorn. Is this the type of stuff you like for Zoo Crew Radio? Is that type of humor? Is that what we do, Zoo Crew Radio? And it's zipping in the juice. We're back after this.

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