#119 The Dakotas
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Nate. There we go. Look at us. Y'all did it. I get into ad rating. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't think you would either. I know. But it's not bad. I'm into it. It's kind of fun. Yeah. It's kind of fun. It gives you a, yeah, it means it's a professional thing. I mean, I aspire to be as good as Aaron at it, though. I mean, he reads the fine print. Something special. Yeah. I used to want to be Billy Mays.

Oh, yeah. I used to watch him and think, wow. I could do that one day. And he did the ShamWow? Did he do ShamWow? No. Come on. That's the ShamWow guy. Okay. Billy Mays did. Billy Mays had Orange Clean, Oxy Clean. Oh, yeah. I think all of the Clean family. Who has the spray paint that he sprays a screen door and makes a boat out of it?

That's the guy that's sticky stuff. Yeah. I can't remember what it's called. Liquident or something like that. He puts the tape over the pool. These are all Billy Mays wannabes. They're all derivative of the greatest of all time, which is Billy Mays. The ShamWow guy, he had a little dark past. He had some legal trouble. Yeah. Yeah. He had some... I think he made a movie too or something. There was a moment this dude was like,

I thought almost like they were like done with him doing this. And then now maybe he's back now or something. I mean, I never wanted a cloth so bad though. Watching this guy. Well, it's the thing is, is you, this guy blew up doing this. And then I think, you know, it's like, they don't want to do this. And you're like, no, that's kind of, that's who you are. That's who you are. I mean, it's like flow flow is like, yeah, you can move on and just, you move on when you go, that's enough money. Yeah.

But I wouldn't move on to your...

ready to move on. Like, I think Flo does it in a very, like, gracious way of just going, yeah, she's this. She's the lady that we all know and we like. She's been it for like a decade now, too, right? Yeah, everybody loves her. I mean, she's as big as the commercial. It's a guy, or it's... Well, they've gotten so big now, there's side characters that are also on. And one of them, people say, reminds me of me. Right, the guy that looks like you. Oh, yeah. Jon Hamm's in them now, hitting on Flo. You know, my favorite is the Mayhem Man.

from Allstate. That guy rules. I want that to be a movie. He should be a villain in a superhero movie. He is in movies, right? He's a real actor. But I want his character to be just going around blowing things up. I feel like it is. Is it? Oh, that guy. I'm thinking of... He is in... Yeah. Well, he left, I feel like. You're thinking about Allstate, I bet. I'm thinking about Allstate.

Dennis... That's Allstate. Yeah. But this Mayhem guy was... Yeah, he's been in movies and TV shows and done actually good, but these commercials are awesome. I want this character. There's one...

That where they're, where he's on that, where they're on the, uh, the bike stationary bike in the house. And he's like, if you have the wrong insurance, you could be paying for this yourself. And like, they're on an insurance, uh, exercise bike. And then they fly through the window and it's like, you should be paying for that. Like who's paying for you to fall off a stationary bike and go through the window of your house. I think someone doing that is trying to get someone else to do it. Like, I think it was, uh,

It's farmers insurance. It's shot like it was in an apartment because I think that's a very apartment thing. I don't think you're doing that at a house.

I think you're in an apartment. Yeah. And you got to hope you're on the first or second floor. Yeah, I mean... Or it's going to be bad news. But I feel like that's got apartment living all over it. Yeah. Riding a stationary bike through a window. I mean... Yeah. You have nowhere to put it. It's like next to the couch. And he's like, if you've got cut rate insurance, you could be paying for this yourself. You know, when you go to someone's house and they have that like in the living room, you're like, thank goodness they don't use this. Can you imagine if they used it and it was...

You just walk in and just water all around it. And you're like, I got after y'all to watch the game. You're like, can you work out somewhere else? Yeah. I didn't, you're, you're supposed to be like, you know, one of us sits on it when the game's on. You're like, at least it's getting used. You're, if you're using it, you gotta, it's gotta go park it in the back. So, you know, you gotta get it out of the way.

It's funny how these insurance commercials, that's like the new battleground for comedy. I mean, the favorite one for me right now is the one where they can't make you not become your parents. Oh, yeah. It's also progressive. That's a great one. That's a great one. Because I am that. I am those people. Oh, yeah. We're all becoming that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a battleground comedy. A lot of people say that. We stopped at a red light the other day and...

And Ruth was like, oh, they're putting in a Mrs. Winters there. And she's like, God, I've become my mom. She's like, my mom used to just comment about random things going on. She's like, who cares? And she said, no, I do it. We all do it. It is nice. Yeah. We all become our, I mean. Yeah. I can definitely see you becoming. Yeah. Both of yours, really. Yeah. My favorite is I always, anytime in our line or something, and then the line is longer, you're like, oh, thank you. Yeah.

Thank God we got here when we did. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love saying that. Oh, yeah. Any chance I get to pull that one out. I thought that. Yeah. I just got it fixed on camera and I moved up on you. Yeah. I was feeling too low. Now I feel proper, you know? You've got a tag, man. Yeah. That's the point, dude. Leave it in there. Let people know. All right, we'll just tuck it down there. That's all right. We can just leave all this in. We'll return it after the show.

Yeah. That was like, did we talk about that? Like, Oh, people are saying like, is it okay to return clothes after you wore them? Like there, there were, I just saw people like, I guess it was on online thing. And like, if you wear, like you could wear, you buy that outfit, you wear it to the design show or you wear it out to a nice dinner, you wear it to a big thing. And the next day you just go return it. It was purchased with the intention of doing just that. Yeah. Absolutely not. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of people do it. Unethical. Yeah. It's unethical. Legal, though. Yeah. It is technically. And a lot of they leave the tags, so they wear a whole thing out and then buy some $2,000 dress and then just go take it back the next day. I mean, I know Alex has done it with Tonight Show. Like some late night appearances, you do it and you leave the tags in and then you just go take it back.

Yeah, it feels weird. I think if you wear it, that's the part that's like... Yeah, because you're hurting the store. It's not like if you buy some fancy clothing, you're hurting the store because the store made a big sale and now they got to take it back. Yeah, but I think they're talking about Macy's or something. Yeah. It's like, I don't... If you're... Yeah, if it was...

like a bodega behind your clothes there. It was a personal, but even the, I'm not saying that's right, but it's like, I think the idea of it, I don't know what's Macy's, but it's, but even the individual store, you know, they still got a store manager. They still got numbers to hit. Yeah. They, they're, I mean, taking stuff back. I mean, target, I think you can, you can use stuff for a couple of weeks and then just, they're still take it back. Like they're, I think they, my wife takes back.

I mean, I watched her. She's taking back food. Yeah, really? Yeah. I would never in a million years take back food. She'll take back food. I tried to take back some oil that I bought to fry a turkey to Walmart, and they wouldn't take it. Really? They were like, you can exchange it for more oil. And I go, well, that's not going to help me. Why didn't you want it? Well, I was going to host a Thanksgiving at my house, and then it didn't pan out. But I had already bought the oil.

But I kept it for like 10 months. How much was the oil? Not a lot. But I was like, I don't want to throw the oil out. And you were at Walmart anyway. Yeah. You might as well try. Yeah. Do you have to have a receipt at Walmart? I think it all depends on who you get. I have a friend. I think you're right. A comedian friend of ours who used to go to Goodwill, buy stuff like nice shirts and then like Brooks Brothers or something and then go return it to those stores. And I guess they took them back without a receipt.

Or Eddie Bauer. It was Eddie Bauer. He would go to Goodwill, find some Eddie Bauer shirts, and then go to the Eddie Bauer store. Yeah, I don't know if that's ethical. Because you seem like you'd have to have your receipt, right? It just seems weird. Are you sure you didn't say, what if we did this? I mean, he said he did it.

Some companies have no questions asked, lifelong exchange. Yeah, but those places, well, they should do... I think places should... I bet you end up going a lot more like that. Yeah. Because you really think of it, especially if you're probably a nice place. I mean, most people are just not going to take stuff back, but they like that you will...

you know that the options there it wasn't like nordstrom i think you could buy something that you could take on back shoes or my brother did ll bean famously for a while maybe that was a lifetime replacement on anything you bought yeah wow yeah so you get a pair of boots i mean 40 years later you send them in and they'll send you a new one yeah yeah they break they just got rid of that policy but it but it made them famous for a while

Yeah, man, I don't see why, you know, because you just you're playing a waiting game of like how many people are really doing this. Golf Galaxy does. What do they do? They do something with a glove. Like if you buy a glove, you can pay three dollars when the glove tears up. You can go get another one for free. And then you're like and the gloves like 20 bucks or something. And so it's the it's worth it.

But then I have to remember to go get this glove. And usually if you get to a point where you forget a golf glove, I'm standing on the first tee and I realize I don't have a golf glove. It's not like a prepared. Yeah. You'd have to really think to go do it. Is that chair squeaking? Yeah. Yeah. It's a very squeaky chair. Yeah. It wasn't squeaking earlier, right? I think it's been squeaking the whole time that I've. Oh. Since he joined the show. Oh, really? Yeah. That loud? Maybe it's getting worse, but. Yeah. Yeah.

What did you raise it a little bit? Okay. I mean, cause I'm not even moving. Oh, I'm so glad I stopped my chair. I for one support it. A little different. Yeah. Get some different sounds. Yeah. That's all we're looking for. Yeah. Switch it up. You know, you don't want the same squeak the whole show.

All right, let's start off. We've pre-recorded this episode, if you're listening, so you know. We all changed clothes. We all changed. I bought a Carhartt hoodie this week. Yeah, and then is the physics episodes coming out after this one? Yeah. So we've, John Augustine, he's like, when's that physics? Because I guess I've brought it up a few times. Next, after this one, it's the next one.

All right. It's a good episode. It's a good one. It's a good one. I don't remember much. I don't either. Uh,

Mike Terry, where has Dusty been my whole life? So many fun stories, and I think Aaron's comments have gone from great to fantastic now that he has Dusty to interact with. Love this podcast. All right. He's what he needed. That's what I felt. I was getting nothing on that side of the table, and I got to get this guy to come out of his shell. Is this Mike Terry from the Opry? From...

SiriusXM? Mike Terry? I don't know Mike Terry. Well, does he know who you are? Yeah. Well, then probably not because this guy just learned about you. Oh, that's true. Is that my uncle Mike Terry? No.

Christy Bowen Bowen I wish someone would make a compilation video of all the times Nate has said I'm not a blank guy examples I'm not a watermelon guy I'm not an adverb guy yeah that'd be fun not really a compilation guy though ooh what about that add that in didn't need Dusty for that did you I know man yeah got it all on his own laughing

Aaron Davis. I kid you not. I walked into a bathroom about a week and a half ago in Texas, and someone was playing Horse With No Name out loud on their phone from inside the stall. Kind of makes me wonder if it was Aaron, although I saw no indication that he was in Texas at the time. Whenever I have to go at someone's house, I always turn on their bathtub if there's no fan in the bathroom. Yeah, I don't do their bathtub. I do their sink.

Because at least I think they're washing my hands. I'm bathed up and you're like, is he taking a shower? Aaron? Aaron, you taking a shower in there? He's taking a bubble bath. Yeah. You guys just take a quick bath. Don't worry about it. Yeah. I thought I would bathe. Do y'all mind? We'd rather you just poop. Yeah. Where are you in Texas?

I was just in Texas this weekend. I don't know how recent this comment is. This came out after a couple weeks ago, the Arizona episode, when you talked about the horse with no name. I was in, when I was in, did I say somebody, the corporate I was at, the sound guy was a podcast fan and played horse with no name when I walked in. No, you didn't. The room was really fun. I looked around. I was like, this is weird. And the person was in the booth. Yeah. That's so funny.

Yeah. Does this sound familiar at all? Texas, that? I mean, it could have been me. I don't know who else does that. It's kind of my signature. Yeah. If you hear that again, let them know that's my thing. I mean, maybe that person in the bathroom was a podcast listener. That's true. It might be. They could have been. Or maybe you stole it by idea from someone. Yeah. Most people would be remembered, did you go to the bathroom in Texas? Like a public bathroom in Texas, but no recollection? Well, he's on the road all the time. You're on the road all the time, go in the bathroom all the time.

Well, yeah. Daily, I would say. That was a Louis C.K. joke. I just saw that he said he's always in a 48-hour window of diarrhea, which is a very funny joke to be like you're always just – because it depends on where I'm at in that window is how far I'll go away from my house. Dehemmelhaver. Yeah. Yeah.

No, that might have been me.

Yeah. What do you work at, David Hoever? He just dehydrated himself. Made a little room. Yeah. I think he got dehydrated. Yeah. And he needed a diet Pepsi. Yeah. Needed a pound of Pepsi Zero. There we go. I like it.

Just guzzling it too. Yeah. Yeah. Just. While you sit there. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it is the confidence of like, that's just a person that's. Yeah. It'd be wonderful to be able to live like that. I think. I mean, not, you know, just to be.

You just wouldn't even have a worry or feel awkward ever. I think something's been lost if you get to that point. Yeah. You've been through some stuff to where you're like, if you've seen what I've seen, this doesn't even matter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a war veteran. When I worked at the Kitchen of a Country Club, the dishwasher was a guy on work release.

And he used to, I used to be like, sorry, this plate's gross. And he's like, bro, you can't gross me out. Yeah. He's like, when I go back, a guy uses the bathroom right there, right next to me. He's like, these dishes aren't going to gross. That's what that guy got to. He got to a place where I don't. And then you were like, let me tell you a story about some fries I used to eat. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That grossed him out. That could have grossed him out. Yeah. He's like, oh my gosh, I'd rather be in prison. What if you could have grossed him out?

That would be something. That would be something. He spent most of his life in prison. And that would shock him. He's like, that's what they're doing? That's what y'all are doing down here, Nate? You go, yeah, we old people's leftovers. Christy Pickens, what about a sitcom where Nate, a semi-pro golfer, builds his new home next to a trailer park? Dusty, a semi-pro race car driver, lives just on the other side of the fence in the trailer park.

It's a great idea. I think I've talked to Christy Pickens about this, I believe. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I don't know, but I've heard this idea before. And I think it's a great idea. I like it. I love that you're both semi-pro in your respective sports.

But, Nate, you're doing well enough to build a home. Yeah. And, Nate and Dusty, you're living in a trailer park next door. Yeah, I think it would be best if I were unemployed. Yeah. For the plot to make sense. Yeah, and you were a pro golfer. Yeah.

Yeah. I may be a semi truck driver. No, you could be, you do the local races. Yeah. Oh, you're like an aspiring. You do the, like that figure eight stuff. Yeah. Those races where they last headlight derby when your headlights go out, you're done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're that guy. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think Christy's tied down to anyone. So she's, yeah, she's just like, yeah, we'll just keep talking. It's been rolling here. Luke Curry, I'm amazed how nobody is pointing out the fact that Badger Bates looks identical to Fix-It Felix from Disney's Wreck-It Ralph cartoon. Oh, man. Every time I see Boy Scout, Brian, that's exactly who he reminds me of. Keep up the good work, and God bless.

Wow. Yeah. You see it, Dusty? I can see a similarity. All right. You said wow. With the hat on like that. Yeah. You need the hat. I mean, that's not the pose, I don't think. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, Nate's looking. He's comparing. Yeah, I don't... He's definitely younger than you. No, it's like, yeah, it's like what, you know... Like the one on far left here, I think, is... This one? Yeah. Yeah, I definitely think it's like he's... What do you think? He's young, he's fun, he's having a good time. I think the movie now is a different story. But it's...

And he knows how to fix this. Now it's not animated anymore. It's an indie film. Yeah. What's the show where like behind the curtain, like when, I don't know, when we used to do Motley Crue and all these like,

Oh, behind the music. I guess behind the music. Like now, whatever happened to Fix It Felix? And it's just me. It would be. Yeah. He's like, I took a turn. It took a, you know. Where is he now? Where is he now? We found him. Yeah. Now the squirrels are eating your car up. Yeah. I used to know I fixed that.

Samantha Davies. Nate, please watch Shawshank Redemption. I swear it's been brought up an unreal amount of times on this podcast, and the conversation always has to be stopped because Nate still hasn't seen it. All right.

I saw it the other day, and I was like, I could be getting close to the right mood for it. Got to watch Salt first, though. I watched, I know. In the core. I tried to watch. Yeah, I know. It was a classic. Next time you're in the mood to celebrate the triumph of the human spirit, just throw it on. I bet Tim, is it Tim Robbins? Mm-hmm. I bet he runs like that president in Salt. Mm-hmm.

What makes you say that? I don't know. I just feel like if Tim Robbins... Not a good runner? I feel like if he runs, everybody runs like that. Tall drink of water. Yeah. Yeah, Tim Robbins. Yeah. Does he look like a good runner? Well, I always think that when actors, I mean, when they play an athletic thing, sometimes it's like, they're so bad. And you can tell when you're like, are you a person? Did you ever...

No one threw a basketball at your head or something? Like, I mean, you ever had any reflection? Like, sometimes it can be so bad. He literally plays a banker in this. Yeah. I'm just saying, I bet he runs, but he doesn't run good. Okay. Yeah, we've talked about that before because. That's all I mean. You think he's a good runner? I mean, he doesn't have to run much. He's in a prison most of this movie. Yeah, but he could be in cross country. I mean, that's a guy that big, that tall. Probably right. He's got a cross country build. Yeah.

I'm going to look for some movies where he runs. Okay. Let me know. We talked about the episode of The Office where they play basketball. You could tell John Krasinski can actually play. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not like you have to play, but there's just some stuff. They get these actors, and sometimes there having to be some athletic part, and you're like, what are you doing? It's like you didn't go practice or something? They're just so uncoordinated.

Mm-hmm. You know, what are you going to do? Reed Jones. We have now seen both Nate and Dusty, but not yet Aaron Land or Breaks Bates. What should it be called when you see all four Nate Land hosts perform? Interesting. Interesting. Like the EGOT, but for us. Yeah, probably not likely to happen. Maybe. Maybe that's a good one. Rare? Yeah. Trifecta? We might have a show called

all together coming up i don't know if he means all at the same time i mean just yeah if you see all four when you see all four like like complete the trifecta so i didn't have to be mean it was still mean the way i was thinking yeah it's uh yeah yeah i mean that's going together i mean i would like you know i think we might have one coming up that uh i have not announced uh that would be all together but yeah i got i mean i just got so many comics

started with so here we are but yeah if you see but not talking about that but if you see all four in the wild yeah once you've completed it and seen them all what's it called

I don't, I'm not good at names. I don't, I never will come up with it, but thanks for bringing the question. Uh, well, I mean, that's the question. Yeah. I wonder where Reed lives. What color is that shirt? I'm colorblind. Don't ask me any part of it. You guys talk a bunch. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I don't know. All four Nate land. When you see them all, what was the, some of the language question? Remember that podcast we did? Uh,

Yeah. A bear attack? No. A buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo? Buffalo, yeah. Maybe that's it. Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, we could do, it's four buffaloes when you see them all. Four buffaloes. And the grand slam is to see everybody twice. The Nate Land slam? The Nate Land slam. That's a good one. That's eight buffaloes, which is a real sentence. That's right. So I've done a buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, and then you keep going. Wow.

So you could... Each... Yeah. So each buffalo represents one person. A lot of people complained about last week's episode on language saying that... I'm just going to assume about clean comedy. But did you see the... We were talking about the Ranker. Ranker did the top clean... Best clean comedians of all time. Yeah. I did not see this. I don't know what this Ranker is. Is it just... That's like...

Funniest clean comedians of all time. It's where users can rank stuff. Oh, that's cool. Funniest clean comedians of all time. Here we go. Let's check out the list. Ah, I spoiled it. Scrolled down too fast. Number one, Jim Gaffigan. Number two, Nate Bargetze. Wow. That's very... Still no picture. But...

Very, very nice. That's so cool. Where was I on that list? Yeah, let's keep going. Oh, Seinfeld's fourth. Seinfeld's fourth. Tim Hawkins, very funny. Obviously, it was. Birbiglia, Engvall. Angela Johnson, John Panette. Yeah. Henry Cho, Nate Land alum. Yeah. Ryan Hamilton, very funny.

Jim Carrey. Starting to broaden our definition of clean a little bit towards the end of this list. Dave Coulier cut it out. Wow. I didn't. Yeah. Cosby. Cosby a lot lower than he used to be. He dropped. He recently just dropped. Uh,

Well, Dusty, I think, I don't know. I know Don Friesen. I've done a show with him. He's very funny. Yeah. That's cool, man. Yeah, that's cool. Very nice. What are you going to say? You're just beyond the limit? Well, I don't know if we went all the way to the bottom, but. It might take a while. Yeah, still not. At some point, you're just reading comics names. Get back to us if we find Dusty. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fun. That's cool. So you can just find anything on this ranking. If you're trying to find the best whatever and people just... This is ahead of you. Best American Founding Fathers. George Washington. Clear number one. Yeah. All right. All right. Ben Love. I played in a band in college. We had one show...

Where we were after just yawn it out, Dusty. Can you imagine? He's not afraid of Ben Love. I mean, just been iron band and into the Ben.

Ben's like, I finally get my comment read. Two words in. Dusty's like, boring. I mean, that's unreal. Abandoned college, huh? I don't even know if that's ever been done in the history of entertainment. Just to go, did Dusty bring his A game? They're just going to play that. I mean, you can yawn. It's like you just turn away and you went into the microphone. I zoned out. I didn't even know what was happening. Abandoned college and I lost it.

Ben Love I played in a band in college we had one show where after we set up our gear the sound guy said he was ready we went up to play our seventh song set to basically no one when we finished the sound guy said sounds great the show starts in about an hour laughing

It's a great story. Yeah. Turns out we were only sound checking. He let us play the entire 40 minutes set with the banter between songs and full energy. We ended up just packing up our stuff and heading home before the show even started. Wow. That's so great. That's so funny, dude. I mean, full on banter. Yeah. That's great.

That's so great. This is it. Like, there's nobody here, but we're going to give it our all. Yeah. That's how much you're not performing in front of people. It's not that crazy to not be doing it. I just don't understand that you didn't know what time the show started. Well, you checked out during most of that. Yeah. So I'm sure you would have questions. But he didn't say. It's like, you know, it's like the show starts at, you don't know the show starts at seven or eight.

Yeah, I mean, he's an opening. I mean, I feel he doesn't feel he's that important enough that they left before the show started. Like maybe it was an open mic kind of battle of bands. I think that sound guy just said, you guys ready? And they're like, I guess we're starting. And they get started. He just meant, let's do a sound check. Wow. I mean, that is a great story. Yeah.

One of my favorite videos ever was this group called Improv Everywhere. It might have stopped me if I've told this before. Well, Ben Meehan put out a video of you telling the story. Oh my gosh. I've not heard it. They find, it's a group of like 100 people, and they find a local band that's playing a show, like a nothing show, and they get all 100 people to learn all of this band's songs.

And they surprised them at this show. Oh, that's awesome. So there's just like this teenager band. And all of a sudden, there's a ton of people there. And they're singing along to every song. They're going nuts. And the band's like, we can't believe. They brought nobody. Yeah. And all of a sudden, a huge crowd. The best show ever. Was it mean or nice? It's done in a nice way. It's giving this band the best experience ever. I think in the end, it's means.

though because you're up there you're going wow we are it's really happening it's really taking off and then they go nah we we pulled this yeah we pulled it together y'all gonna come to the other shows you're like i mean no no yeah they paid us to do this there's been a lot of torture to learn these songs yeah yeah it's you know it's very it's like it sounds you're right it's a sweet video and then it's you know it's like but the parents would have been like

We're hoping they're kind of done with this. So now you've like prolonged. I mean, you can mess up someone's life. He starts chasing. He's like, thanks about this night. And then he just got a guy, one, one, one guy left early and then just, you know, cause then, I mean, they're going to, you get the taste of it. Yeah. Then they're chasing the dragon.

I mean, forever. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if, if the story ended with, you know, like, and now that band is CCR or something like that, where you're like, all right, it did work out. What is that? You know, Credence Clow. So it's like the fact that you. Y'all call them CCR. Like I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because that's a lot of words. I think I always say they're holding them. But I don't. I'm not. Credence. Some people will just say credence. Credence. Yeah. I don't think I talk about music that much. Do you even know their full name? I've listened to them. Credence something. No, I don't. Revival. You thought you could get it rolling. Yeah. Credence. Clearwater. Clearwater Revival. Yeah. And I listen to. I'll turn on the radio like we're playing cards at the end of the night. Because I like all that stuff. But.

Yeah, I don't think I'm having a lot of CCR conversations. Yeah. Yeah, I've never had those music conversations. If you're talking about band, I just never. I'm always out of the loop. A little Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if that were the song, you know, you're like, and that band went on to be Pink Floyd. It would be a better story, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's a very nice thing, but it's also, yeah. It's a very, the video, it's one of those that like everybody but the band eventually feels bad. I mean, everybody but the band feels great. Like eventually, in the moment, everybody feels great. And then afterwards, everybody else still loves it. But the band has got to be like, oh, they did. And that means if they've got a good...

attitude about it I'm sure they're like yeah that was awesome it was yeah that's so the band went in the back there in the green room they're high-fiving they're like it's happening it's happening and then a guy comes in and goes hey hey guess what we this we did this for you yeah the amount of work was oh because we months we've been listening to this trash through this terrible music yeah and learn the words yeah uh

Christian Graybill. I worked for a company that was doing some work at Johnny Major's house several years ago. I walked downstairs and heard the shower running and noticed the bathroom door open. Right about the time I decided I should go back upstairs, I heard the shower turn off and he immediately walked out in all his glory. I quickly ran back upstairs and when he came up a few minutes later, there was definitely some awkward tension.

Johnny Major was a football coach for the Vols forever. I mean, that's some really crazy. How quick are you out of that shower when you turn the water off? I assume towel off. Well, I guess he didn't tell off, but just walk out. Hmm.

I mean, he's probably, Johnny Major's probably got to be at the age where, is he? Yeah, he died. Just a couple years ago. So, I mean, he probably was at an age that Borderline might not have realized there was even work going on in his house. There's some holes in this story here from Christian Graybrow. He's like, by the time I was going to go back upstairs, this really old man got out of the shower fast. Yeah.

Turn the water off and next thing you know, he's just out there. Yeah. Maybe it's a long hallway. Yeah. You know? No, I would think it really – I would think he's maybe older and didn't – you know, it's like you're just –

You know, he's like, I don't know. Maybe Christian enjoyed what he saw. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. Aaron Fries. Let's go, folks. I'm on a mission to listen to every episode before Nate comes to my town, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, on October 15th. I started in August, and I'm listening at work at two times speed because of the time crunch, and I have 51 episodes to go. All right. We will see.

Will Aaron do it? Will Aaron do it? I've had a lot of people say two times the speed is the way to listen. Oh, yeah? Because it sounds normal. Oh, okay. I think 1.5. 1.5? That's about. Okay, you've tested. Yeah, two is give us some credit. We're not slurring our words here. All right. Sometimes. Really? Yeah, yeah. So it's like no one's ever listened to my real voice. Yeah.

If you've only listened to it at 1.5 speed, yeah. They show up to your show, they're like, wow, this guy talks slow. Get to it. I'm like, wow, sorry. You get a microphone that does one half speed. Hey, we're going to show that. They think you're an auctioneer. Yeah. There's a lot going on in that one. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Does everybody feel all right? I'm good. Sorry, yeah, that got out of hand. I apologize. I don't remember Billy Mays roasting his customers. Sidekick. Yeah. Yeah.

You feel alive? I feel better than ever. Yeah? Nothing like the Mizzen and Main ad to get me fired up. Yeah, that's what you need sometimes. I mean, sometimes, you know, when I'm hearing about college bands, I get tired. But when we get back into the ads, that's when I get fired up. Yeah, yeah.

Nothing I value more than a dress shirt. Yeah. Look at this thing. Look at this. Not Mizzen and Mane. That's why there might be wrinkles in it. Yeah. Mizzen and Mane would fit perfect. Yeah. Feels good. Yeah. All right. All right. This week, we're talking about the Dakotas. Both. Yeah. They both get labeled in all the time. Do they resent that? Dakota Fanning and Dakota Johnson. All right. Yeah. I would think, does it...

If you're, yeah, you're just always getting lumped in. It's like having your birthday near Christmas. If you're the Dakotas, you're just always like, well, we're just going to do it all in one. Well, there used to be one thing, just the Dakota territory. And then the South did not like the North. The South had some of the bigger. What? What? The Southern part of Dakota did not like the Northern part of. I thought you meant like the South. Yeah.

I didn't like the North. And I was like, yeah, now we're talking. This is tracking. Southern part of Dakota did not like the Northern part of Dakota. Southern part was more civilized. And they said the Northern part was just some wild maniacs up there. Animals up there. Yeah. So they finally like, all right, let's just split it up and we'll make a North Dakota and a South Dakota. Then they get in a debate. Well, who gets to join the union first?

And Benjamin Harrison was the president then. And he's like, I tell you what, I'm just going to mix up the document you signed. I'm just going to mix it up, not look. And then I'm not even going to know myself and I'm going to sign it. And so no one truly knows which one became the 39th state and which one became the 40th state. Oh, that's cool. It's listed as North Dakota just because it's alphabetical, but.

But that's why they did it. That feels good. I bet if you're North Dakota, that feels good. Yeah. That's got to feel good. That's about all North Dakota has on South Dakota, right? South Dakota's got Mount Rushmore. South Dakota's got a lot more tourism money. North Dakota's got Fargo, though. North Dakota's the least tourist-visited state in the Union. Fargo is one of the more popular named cities in America. Because it has a show named after it, right? Yeah, but I'm saying that's something. And a movie. That's a big thing, though.

Fargo, if you think of Dakota, I would almost think people think Fargo. I did. I thought of it immediately when you said Dakotas. I had a friend that she told me that she didn't even think South Dakota was a real place. Who was that? I like your friends, man. Yeah. And I was like, you know what? She goes, who do you know from South Dakota? That's true. And I was like, no way. That's actually a great point. Yeah.

That's true. I've been to South Dakota, but besides that. Yeah. But those signs could have been put up by, who knows, a Truman Show type of situation. Yeah. There was a conspiracy theory that no one lived in North Dakota. Oh, yeah? If you drive up there, you hit Canada. But I think that's been debunked. I have been to Fargo. Maybe that's how Canada sneaks in on us, is their mustache and glasses is North Dakota. Yeah. They do the...

Pledge allegiance and all this. And you're like, there's some good American people up here. Then they go, we're Canada. And then they take it off. You're like, Dad, come on. So this weekend you're going to Fargo. Yeah. And I was remembering we're in South Dakota. Sioux Falls? Mm-hmm. Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Have you ever been to either of the Dakotas? I have. I've been to maybe North Dakota. God, I think I've been there, though. I know I've been to South Dakota for sure because I've seen Mount Rushmore. And then...

I did a show there a long time ago, and I think I've been to North Dakota too. I'm just blanking on – what's the college in North Dakota? North Dakota State? University of North Dakota. Maybe I did North Dakota State. I remember I think it was like one of them had – what's the Vandals? I don't know. Idaho? Maybe that's – is it – Yeah, I think it's the Idaho Vandals. So maybe I went there or something. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But it will be marked off. I think I've been to North Dakota, and I'm sure I have.

But these were the last two. Yeah, because Montana is another state. And that's another one that I'm like, I don't think I've been to, but I will have marked off. And I'm going to have, if you listen to this, I've already been to Montana. I don't know if I did a show there, but I did. I spent two days. I'm spending, you know, I spent two days.

In Montana. Actually, listen to this. I might be literally because I'm in Montana. Yeah, because we're in Casper, Wyoming. We're taking two days to kind of go mess around. Do some hiking up there? Yeah. Dude. In Montana. I want to take Bozeman or something. Oh, Bozeman's great. Bozeman's great. Butte. Millings. And then, I mean, Alaska. Alaska's the other one. Alaska's the last state I haven't been to. Dude.

Yeah, it's the best. All better than the Dakotas, huh? North Dakota. I've been to Devil's Lake, North Dakota. Did a corporate gig up there. Small town. A lot of fun. Very cold. Yeah. Very cold place. Flat. As you're driving, you just see kind of snow drifts coming straight across the road. I mean, it's wild. Yeah. Well, I haven't been to the Dakotas. They said they had more grassland than any other states. So I'm guessing it's just a lot of open fields. Yeah.

Probably. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds about right. I thought that's what that meant. I wasn't 100% sure what a grassland meant, but North Dakota State's football team won five consecutive national championships between 2011 and 2015, took a year off, then won three more in 2017, 18, and 19. Yeah, it's crazy. Dominant. They've had college game day there twice. They won what? National championships, and they're a level below. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Carson Wentz, quarterback for the Commanders now, I guess, played there. So they're a very small school, but they just dominate. Okay. Yeah. So, all right. Is it the Badlands? Is that the Dakotas? That's South Dakota. That's where Mount Rushmore is. Okay. Now, what is the Badlands? Oh, I'm thinking about the – sorry. The Badlands is in South Dakota, but I'm just getting the – is it the Black Hills where Mount Rushmore is?

Yeah. I remember going to see Mount Rushmore, and it doesn't feel, it's not as big in your head. It's just you always see that picture. Yeah. And then- So that took- Carved in there. 14 years. Is it not very big? I mean, it's very big in the Grand Siam. But when you look at it, like anything, you see a picture versus when you get there, you're like, it's kind of- It's farther away. There's still, yeah. Yeah, it's very big. But I mean, it looks like, you just can't imagine, like, you know.

So that started, the local historian wanted something to promote Dakota tourism because nobody's coming to South Dakota. So he was like, what if we carve the side of this mountain and just do some local figures? And there's a lot of famous Native Americans from there, Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, some local people. And then the sculptor, I think, eventually is like, nah, we got to broaden it more than that. So let's do Presidents.

So do you know the four presidents up there? George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln. That's right. They started doing George Washington's suit, and then he's like, I can't do it. He's like, that was a huge mistake. And they go, well, why are you not going to do the suit on everybody? He goes, are you crazy, dude? He goes, that suit took me a month. He goes, I can't.

Because we did one suit. I'm not doing more suits. Just jam the heads in the back. Just do the heads in the back for the rest. I'll give a little nod to Abraham Lincoln with some kind of collar. But he's like, that's basic because it's just working out kind of like that. But I'm not. We're done with suits.

Now, in Superman II, the villains from Krypton, they came and destroyed Mount Rushmore, and then they put their faces on there. But there was only three villains, so one of them, they just had to just destroy and leave destroyed. They just left Abraham Lincoln up there? No, they destroyed it. In the movie Richie Rich, I feel like they had something going on in the, they had like a secret vault in there or something. I think in Mars Attacks, the aliens did something similar. Yeah. National Treasure II as well. Okay. Yeah.

Making me think there is something inside of there. There probably is. Well, each president represents, George Washington represents the birth of the nation, Thomas Jefferson, the growth of the nation, Abraham Lincoln, the preservation of the nation, and Theodore Roosevelt, the development of the nation. They're all 60 foot high head carves. Now, there's been some rumors about a fifth president.

Fifth person. So it started all the way back in the 1930s. They wanted a woman. Oh, boy. Yeah. Talked about Susan B. Anthony. And then the sculptor said, well, that rock over there on the side, that's not good rock. So let's just leave it. Let's just leave it. Oh, they could have thrown it up to the right of Abraham Lincoln here? I think so. There's plenty of room to work with, I think. Well, I think they're like hips. I think they're like hips. Hang on.

Yeah, we're due. Oh, yeah, we're due down there, then do the hips. He's like, I'll do the hips. Yeah, it looks like they could fit someone right there. I don't think they could do it now. You ever see construction now versus old construction? I feel like people are like, no, we can't. It's COVID construction where you're like, this ain't going to get done for a while. Yeah, we can't. The last sculptor, or carver, they call him, just died a couple years ago. He was 98 years old. Nice.

Mysterious circumstances? Well, there's been talk over the years about John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan. And then a few years ago, there was some rumor circulating that Trump wanted to go up there. And he tweeted, I never suggested that. But however, based on all the many things I've accomplished during the first three and a half years, perhaps more than any other president, sounds like a good idea to me. So...

Like, none of these guys were around, obviously, when this was being done, right? Like, Abraham Lincoln wasn't like, go ahead and throw me up there, too. Yeah. Right? No. This started in 1927 and went till 1941, so it wasn't a quick thing. Oh, so Teddy wasn't far out of things, right? I guess not. I don't know. I've already heard rumors about it. Some rumblings. Heard tell.

Now, there's another memorial in South Dakota, Crazy Horse, which was the famous Native American who, this has been under construction for 70 years. Yeah. It's next, you know what? I think I've, is it next to this? I don't know. Golly. Did I walk? Yeah, it says near Mount Rushmore. Yeah. I might have, yeah. Like, did I walk on the, or I remember them showing it to me and it was like, it's still under construction.

Maybe you could walk on it. For some reason, I'm thinking you could kind of walk near it. The crazy horse one. It just says it's near it. But that one... Yeah, look up the crazy horse one. When finished, it'll be the largest sculpture in the world carved into a mountain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see this. I don't think I walked on it. Like, that seems... Because that seems high. Okay.

Maybe there's people up there, though. Maybe I did. I don't know. I don't know. Funny thing is. How could you not remember something like that? Are there people up there? I mean, what is wrong? Oh, yeah. Okay. Like, how could you? I remember seeing. I do remember seeing it. But like, how do I not could not tell you the whole day? Yeah. Just on your phone. Not in the moment. Not in the moment. Same reason I can't tell you every state I've gone to the bathroom in this year. Well, I feel like it's a gut feeling.

I don't know what that means. But I mean, it's, it's, I can tell you about the parrot that wouldn't stop talking during the comedy show. Tell me about that. I have, I've talked about it on here.

What's going on on the top up there? What is that? It's his brain. Well, I think that's just maybe, I don't know. But when they were done, it's supposed to be him riding a horse and pointing to his tribal land. Here's the thing. Nobody knows what he even looked like because he refused to have a picture made of him because he thought it stole his spirit. Yeah. I get that. They're just getting. Dusty's the same way. Look at all these pictures we're taking out here. We're pretty soulless. But I mean, so these pictures are not real of him? No.

I just read there was no photo of him because he refused to have a picture. Going back down. He looks different in all these, so who knows? Yeah, that one, when it gets done, is going to be insane. Do they have a timeline for this? They're at 70 years. They keep needing more funding, and that's why, among other things, it's delayed so long. It's all private donations for this.

So it's taken a little bit longer to do it. Now, I mean, that's what they're famous for in South Dakota. Now everything is who would be your Mount Rushmore of whatever. And I always get sucked into it. I think it's a very fun topic. I love it. I always like to people do it. I was like, who'd be on your Mount Rushmore presidents? It always takes them a few minutes to think. Name the presidents. What do you even realize there is a real Mount Rushmore that presents it? How much would it cost to make this thing?

to the crazy world. Like, you know, it's like, just throw a number out. If you want to finish helping. And like, you know, and then maybe we'd be like, all right, all right. We got a goal. Right. We're raising money for everything. Yeah, I mean, I'd like to, I think it'd be pretty awesome. It's going to be the biggest one. It would be like mind-blowing if you went and saw it and they had the horse and it was done. You'd be like, this is insane. Maybe you could get it done and get Nate Land carved on the side. You know, you're like, hey, I sponsored this thing. I sponsored it. Well, I mean, I would think if you did something like this,

This is where people are going to come back and look at. Like we go to the pyramids in Egypt. We don't go look at their grocery stores. Like we have all this other stuff. This is the thing in Egypt.

A thousand years, you're going to go back and be like, that's crazy. They did that? How'd they do that? You don't go back and like, they were good at math and stuff. Yeah, that's true. That is true. Some people do that. Well, they do that. But I mean, you're not going to take a field trip to go look at the library that they read books out of. Well, that's what all like the...

like the ruins and ancient Rome and stuff. Those are libraries. Those are libraries. And yeah, that kind of stuff. We go look at their libraries. Or not. We're looking at the books, but we're looking at the buildings and stuff. Yeah.

The pyramids. I miss what you were saying. You want to finish building off so years from now people will... I'm saying if you finish this off and it was the biggest in the world with the horse, this becomes our main thing. In a thousand years, it's the only thing that you even talk... You'd be like, in a thousand years, you're like, oh, is that where they have the...

You know, America. That's where they have that crazy horse statue. In America, they have the crazy horse with a horse. Nobody's even heard of Mount Rushmore by that point. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, they would mention it. It's like, oh, it's next to Mount Rushmore. But he would say that describes the whole country. That would be one of the wonders of the world. That's what will last after a thousand years. I agree. Yeah, put a little Neil Young up there too. Neil Young played with crazy horses. Like the buildings. You make buildings and then buildings, are these buildings going to be here in a thousand years? No. That's going to be there. That's a good point. That's going to be there. Are you talking about the...

Music venue? Yeah, Neil Young and Crazy Horse. They had a band together. Oh, it's a band. Yeah. I thought you left. Yeah.

Well, Dusty, this will be right up your alley here. More dinosaur bones are found in South Dakota than anywhere. Oh, yeah. I have proof that that doesn't exist. Sioux. You guys know Sioux? Convenient that it's the state that no one even thinks is a real state. Right. And they're like, oh, a bunch of dinosaur bones. That's where I would find them, too. Yeah. Well, I went to the Chicago Field Museum, and they have a T-Rex there, Sioux. And it's 90%...

They said the bones. So it's one of the most complete T-Rexes that they've ever discovered. So 90% of the skeleton, they said they've dug that up. I believe so. Wow. Is it the skull? Yeah, skull's there. Is the skull part of what they said they recovered?

Do they tell you which parts are... Missing? Yeah, like I picture like most of the tail's not. We had to put it together. I mean, I think there's so many bones, even in the human body, that we could miss a few and still look pretty complete. Well, that's why I mean the skull. Is the skull a one they really found? I would think so. I've seen, yeah. Oh, like if the skull's the one that they found versus like if it's other bones, you're like, well, who knows what bones those are? I think it's a lot of ribs and cartilage or whatever. So they don't have the head. That's what he's saying.

I mean, I've seen the head. I can't prove that that's real and that they didn't make it, but at the Chicago Field Museum, there is a head there. It's their narrative. Yeah. You know what I mean? Field Museum's narrative. Yeah. They have a pretty big one. Yeah, there it is right there. Let's see it. There you go. Yeah. This one had a bit of a gut. Yeah. Yeah. See, there's some ribs there maybe missing, but some parts, but she's pretty complete. Yeah, they should tell us which part is...

It would be if you found out later and they go, wow, so this is it? And they're like, well, the head's all. We made the head up. But the rest of it's something. I mean, maybe on that little display right there it tells you, but I don't know. But anyway, it was discovered in 1990 by a woman named Sue Hendrickson, and so therefore they named it Sue. But the Badlands, which you were asking about. I've been there. I've seen that. But I don't remember. Do you remember that whole day for you?

That was the big display there. Do you remember the whole day, though? Do you remember? How much do you remember from that trip? Like I'm saying, I don't remember the South Dakota. Like I remember it, but I don't. Do you remember details or do you remember? I remember two things from that museum. That and then the movie with Val Kilmer where the lions were hunting them. Yes. That's also there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I remember those. I watched that movie, I think, after I went there. Okay. This is all coming back.

What's that movie called? Somebody was talking about that movie the other day. It's good. I need to watch it again. Something like Ghost in the Darkness? Oh, yeah. Something like that, yeah. You know what? I might watch that instead of Shawshank. Let's drag this out. Shawshank's number one all time, dude. It's on the Mount Rushmore movies. It is so great, Shawshank. I feel like at this point it can't live up to your expectations.

I don't think it will. I feel pretty good, though. Yeah, it's not going to let you down. Is it action-packed? I think some of those sips in. There's a bit of action in it. There's a bit of action. Not really. I got to follow some story along. Oh, yeah. It's all about the story. It's about a guy spending a lot of time in prison. Yeah. Time draws out like a blade. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be...

All right, all right, all right. Look, I watched that. Prison time is slow time. No Country, not No Country for a Woman, The Blood, There Will Be Blood. There Will Be Blood. And that one is, because he's, Daniel Day-Lewis is so good that you're like, it's pleasant watching him. Right. And I almost watched that again. Well, this is- Because it's like comforting. Narrated by Morgan Freeman. So that's what makes it like you can really, I mean, you feel like you're- You're there. Yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah.

So the Badlands National Park has some of the most unique fossils of anywhere. They have found a three-toed horse, a saber-toothed cat, and a dog-sized camel. Yeah, if you're making this stuff up, you can do whatever you want. Right. Dog-sized camel or a baby. Yeah. A baby camel.

They also have the mammoth site of Hot Springs, which is all these woolly mammoth bones they found and they've left them untouched. They're just still there.

See, that's what I'm saying. You find woolly mammoth bones and you're like, leave those there. But you find a T-Rex and you're like, nah, dig these up. Well, I think they dug some up. We probably got enough. Woolly mammoths might have been like deer where you're like, that's just enough. Too many of them. We got too many of them. My car is constantly hitting them. We saw a deer get hit last night driving home. Or not get hit, but in our neighborhood. And I think we saw it die. It was...

yeah i mean they just you know they're just everywhere and it just came out i think a kid did it like not you know like a 17 16 year old kid or something and uh and it was like laying in the street looking and then the lady was there and you're like you know what are you supposed to do you don't know i mean you know i had friends that would let me have real hunter would have like just grabbed it and can you use this but uh

And then as we drove, Laura was like, what are you going to do? I looked in the mirror and then I think it saw its head go down. I was like, I think it's done. I hate to watch. So South Dakota has more bison than any other state. And I was Googling whether a bison could beat a bear, which I think you talked about. That's one of the ones that can take down a bear or at least not lose to a bear. But then there was a video from last year at Yellowstone where a bison and a bear were

I don't even say fighting because the bison is just trying to get away, but the bear is on its back. And I don't even like to watch that now. In this case, the bear won. It was kind of a small bison. Yeah. And I just don't like to watch them when they actually get taken down and die. Yeah, you don't see reality. Yeah, that's a baby bison.

Well, there's a baby. You like to see that? I mean, this is not a crazy thing. No, I mean, I'm not saying I like it, but you're like, it's, you know. I get it. It's hard. Like, that's the thing that you deal with hunting is there's the part of you that does feel like you picture these movies and this thing, and you're like, it's got a family. We have a baby deer that comes in our backyard. Yeah. And there's two babies. There was...

there was two baby deer and then the mom and we would see them in our yard all the time. And then we now only see one baby deer. So we're assuming the other two got hit or something. And this deer just comes in cause we, we still don't have part of a fence, which when the new special comes out, you'll find out why. But, uh,

So it can just come back there. And so now it's like just this, and it's, you know, super cute. And Harper loves it. I mean, everybody loves, you know, just the deer would just be in the backyard. I mean, almost could come up to you. Yeah. And you feel like a little like, well, it's parents and I hear, but there's gotta be something though that you're also.

you know like i mean it's well look i understand that way life happens but i still don't necessarily want to watch it if i guess you could look at it as like if that deer watched me get hit by a car it wouldn't feel a thing it would just keep going look at this guy well i like to think we're a little bit more advanced than a deer this guy's getting i don't know why i made me laugh i was like i was

I was so invested in what was happening that it pans out and there's just some dude. Yeah, how many views has this got? I mean, you got to film. Like, this is a. 5.3 million views. Yeah, I mean, it's a crazy, crazy thing. And he got caught. Five million people saw that guy in those cargo shorts. Yeah. Apparently, it was a young bear, too. It was like two kids going at it. Yeah, it didn't look like a very big bear, either, but. They got it. Oh, they went on the.

Oh, it drags out everywhere. Oh, yeah. Oh, that, yeah. It's like WWF. I mean, they're really dragging it out out there. It's out of the cage. Take it backstage. Yeah. Well, it's got to be just brutal being an animal. You got to eat. Your dinner is walking. Yeah. And you got to, you're like...

Yeah. It's just like exhausting. This thing just won't go down either. It just won't. Yeah. And he's just like. That bear's like, if I don't get this, I'll die because the energy I've exerted already. I should have just gone for the fish. And then if you're that bison, it's like you're just walking with that thing on your back. And you just, you know, what if he, the bison just go underwater, just start swimming underwater. He's in a river and he's trying to get.

Yeah, it's tough. It's a tough world out there, man. It's a tough world out there, but just remember, if you get hit by a car in front of both of them, they ain't doing nothing for you. They're not going to shed a tear. They're not going to shed a tear. They might eat you. The bear, yeah. Yeah. The bison, you might get into it.

Throw it on its back. You might throw your bone. Yeah. They seem like good people. Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo. Are bison back in the, I mean, they used to be all over and then they were almost extinct and now they're kind of back in a way. Yep. What happened there?

Well, they just did the proper things to preserve them and make them where you can't hunt them and stuff. And we used to just, when Americans built the railroads, they, and people see the West for the first time, they would just shoot these bison off the train for fun all the time. I mean,

Purely for sport. Yeah, I mean, I think they almost decimated them. And I think the American government even encouraged it because they were trying to wipe out the Indians, excuse me, Native Americans' way of life. So they kind of encouraged these fur traders to do it just so Native Americans had to finally like, all right. Also probably tough if you're building a village. They have to go to Kroger now. That would be a long run.

They're just trying to be like, all right, we'll go to your grocery store. Go to Ted's Montana Grill and get a bison burger. But if you're building a village and you got all these bison around, you're probably like, we do got to get rid of these because they keep running through attacking us. But you don't shoo them away? You don't try a nice shoo, get on out of here? I don't know if they're listening to a shoo. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they're just, I think they kind of keep themselves unless you mess with them. If they were everywhere.

I mean, that's like, can you imagine being at a time where you're like, we're going to a new land? A new world. A new world. And then you're not thinking about, well, one day these will be extinct. You'd be like, oh, I wish that was today because your train can't move. Yeah. Like apparently Atlanta, that area used to be overrun with bears. Like where that- Atlanta airport.

It's just the land where Atlanta is now used to all be the Black Bears or something. And so you had to get rid of them to be able to live there. Yeah.

I was surprised. When did that? Like, you know, before there was a city. Where'd you talk? Yeah. Who told you this? I don't know. I read this. I like the stuff you believe and don't believe. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, when there's no civilization there, the animals are there. And then when you're like, well, we're going to start living here. And then bears come in and like drag your kids off at night. You're like, oh, we got to get rid of these things. I would think they would just go away. Like as you build. Yeah. Yeah.

And if you start building a Sears Tower, like I would imagine it's going to be like, eh. It's scared of people. So you just kind of goes, you know. That is why deer is everywhere now because so many neighborhoods get developed and pushes them out. They got to go somewhere. And they're just in neighborhoods. Yeah.

I was surprised that the Dakotas don't really have bears. I thought of that as a big grizzly bear country. They do have some black bear that are just starting to migrate there, but do not have bear for the most part. That's good.

I guess. What's the animal that they have most? Bison. Bison? In South Dakota. What else you got there, animals-wise, in Dakotas? Ducks. Yeah, I bet there's some ducks up there. They have duck squirrels. Well, North Dakota's number one leader in wheat production. That's not an animal, but I don't have any other animals. Sorry. Okay. Geez. Coyotes. Coyotes. Oh, yeah, coyotes. That's right, coyotes. Yep. Yep.

My joke about coyotes, I always try to make this a joke and never really did, but there's been no reported killing of a coyote, like of a human.

So they either don't do it or they're very good at it. They cover the tracks. No reported killing that a coyote has ever killed humans? I think it was a coyote, yeah. Wow. And there's been, yeah, never. And then so it's like either they don't do it or they're very good. North Dakota and South Dakota are the fourth and fifth least populous states in the country. You may want to guess the top three. Alaska. Alaska.

Or the what? The least? Least amount of people. And what are they, the top two? Fourth and fifth, the Dakotas are. Oh, of least? Populous states. Alaska, Wyoming. Montana. Montana. Good guess. Alaska, Wyoming, and Vermont. Oh, Vermont, huh? Really snuck in there. Good for them. Let me ask you this. There's a plot line in the West Wing where? Here we go.

where the state Senate of, of North Dakota is petitioning to have the word North removed from the state name. They want to be called just Dakota, South Dakota and Dakota. And they argue that the word North has such a negative connotation.

It makes people think of the cold, bad weather, that if they change their name to Dakota, that would increase tourism to the state. You on board with that? I think they'd have to either get back together or stay north and south. You'd have to be like, just become the Dakotas and then just be Dakotas. And then like, yeah, I kind of get the point that he's saying, but

Just because it seems like, wow, that's like Canada. It's cold. But also, but people go to Montana and they go that stuff. It's all cold up there. It's like beautiful up there. Yeah. North Carolina, you don't think of it as cold just because it's... That's a good point. I also think that South Dakota is right there with not being very populated. Yeah. I think people think people are just dumb, dumb, dumb people. Yeah.

And that's also a problem is they think it's like, you think that's why you're like, are you, do you just think people don't, the people that would go to North Dakota, A, maybe you're talking, you can't be talking about people that are going to go. So you got to tell me that if, I think the people that would be tricked by this would never have dreamed of going to North Dakota.

But it's like, how stupid do you think people are that they couldn't figure it out? I think that was just very subtle hints they're thinking. Just like when gas is $3.99 or anything, you're like...

Well, you don't think we know it's $4, but psychologically, some of us. Yeah, but I still don't think people are flying. What if they changed it to sunny Dakota? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sunny Dakota. Add that in there. Yeah. Good time, Dakota. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just change it to something that please come here. Yeah. The slogan, it's fun up here. It's fun up here. Yeah. Yeah, I would think you go off the beauty of it. I mean, I would imagine it's beautiful. Mm-hmm.

And the North Dakota, what they should do is you just go kind of the route like Montana's getting crazy now. Everybody's moving to Montana or something like that. It's the idea that you play off that where you just end up, if you start like having an awesome city and you're like Fargo, like people would just end up being like, oh, you know, Fargo is kind of the hot spot.

spot to move. You make something the hot spot to move, then it's over. Everybody just has another house there. In North Dakota, you're probably trying to get... I mean, it does look insane. Yeah, it looks amazing. But you're trying to get people, I guess, to live there, probably some second homes, maybe going after that audience. I don't know. But yeah. But people are moving now. People can move anywhere. I think people will start...

You just play the, you don't have to live in one of these major cities. Right. You don't need to. And so you just go, just come to, you know, people are like Montana or the best. So if you go to North Dakota and you like, maybe you got some famous people that live there and they talk about her and have like that kind of like, Hey, have you heard like North Dakota is like, there's this one spot. It's very nice. It's beautiful. It's great skiing. You just kind of start like some stuff like that. You like working remotely. We're very remote. Yeah. As remote as it gets. Yeah.

The geographical center of North America is in Rugby, North Dakota. See? That's a great one. Yep. So they've got to- We're in the middle of what? North America. Of North America. We're in the middle of- We're the dead center of North America. It's where everything started. The heart of it all. The heart of it all. Yep. Um-

So North Dakota has a giant buffalo sculpture, the world's largest buffalo monument, and the world's largest Holstein cow monument. All right.

Named Salem Sioux. Wow. A lot of Siouxs. It's a tourist attraction in North Dakota. People go check it out. Yeah. Get some more stuff like this. I would go see that. Well, yeah. You like sculptures? Come to the Dakotas. We got a big buffalo. We got them all, man. They got a highway. The Enchanted Highway has the world's largest scrap metal sculpture.

It's a 32-mile stretch where a guy said it was boring, so he's like, I'm just going to build some metal sculptures along this way just to make it happen. I don't think they need to make the udder so veiny, huh? That is tough to look at. They have nothing but the time up there. And, yeah. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, that is a little intense. Yeah, yeah. I just say it's not always the most appropriate pictures. Yeah, sorry. Taken. No, I'm just saying like people go. You're like, what are y'all listening to? What are you looking to? Just imagine.

They should probably lift some stuff up. North Dakota was named the happiest state in America. Oh, well, there you go. There you go. I mean, how are you doing that? I'm sitting here trashing it, and they're the happiest people. They're happier than me. Yep. My gosh, sorry. I would imagine it's like you go back, and it's just like calm there. It's just like it feels like it's wilderness. It feels old-timey. It says open spaces and number of national parks. I spent like two days in North Dakota and Fargo. I had a great time. It was really fun.

The people nice? Yeah, the people were nice. I don't drink, but I kind of did some bar hopping, eating some food, doing various things. It was great. I mean, what if you buy land too? They should be like, we have the most acres of land to sell. You could be like, because land is becoming-

You're like, well, I want some land. So maybe we can go buy a million acres up there or something. You think if you worked for the North Dakota tourism department, you could turn some things around? Yeah. Maybe I'll go up there and buy, I'll move there. Yeah. You know? Build that sculpture in South Dakota and then move up North Dakota? Yep.

Do what Rogan did in Austin. Yeah. North Dakota. Turn it around. Turn Fargo. Take Fargo into just figure out, you know. I mean, I like the idea. I think land's becoming a thing back to seeing so much stuff is bought up.

And you can't, you know, your house, I mean, you own your house, but you're like next to other houses and all this kind of stuff. So I think land is something that it's like I would be, I'd be selling that. We have the most land to sell.

Unless they don't. I think they did have a big boom in 2012. They were the fastest growing state because of some oil that they discovered there. I don't know if that's kept up, but a lot more people moved there. They have the fewest, this kind of surprised me for whatever reason, fewest reported UFO sightings. Wow. North Dakota decided to go to one and two for fewest reported sightings.

sightings of course there's not a lot of people there yeah i think people were just keeping their mouth shut so yeah they're looking at the ground they're like listen we don't got ufos but we got the dinosaurs here well they probably see so much stuff you got the northern lights you probably got so much stuff going up in the sky that you're like i don't know it could be any of it you know no too much sky's too busy that's what they should say too yeah we got no light pollution just too much going on this one really surprised me i'm gonna ask to turn the moon down

Yeah. It's a good slogan. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm all about a new slogan. It's so bright at night, you're going to ask to turn the moon down. So Aaron, what's the tallest structure in the world? Tallest structure in the Burj Khalifa. Yeah. We talked about it a couple episodes ago. Right. Built in 2008. Before that, tallest structure in the world? In North Dakota. Was it really? The TV tower for KVLY-TV was 2,000 feet tall. Wow.

I mean, maybe you're getting to this, but is this where they have the Devil's Tower or something is in the Dakotas? Or is that Wyoming? That's Wyoming. Yeah. About Devil's Lake, too. Yeah. Bit of a run there. They're naming them, not me, you know? Yeah. I mean, I don't support it. You're going.

Are these the only things you're visiting? I've been to Devil's Lake, North Dakota to do a gig. Yeah. You didn't support it, but you... I was like, I like you guys. Yeah. I wish you'd change the name. Yeah. So that's pretty tall right there. That is very tall. That's taller than the Twin Towers?

Yeah, I mean, the One World Trade Center in New York, which is the tallest building in the U.S., is what, 1,776 feet? Wow, I didn't know that. And this was 2000. Oh, did they make it 1,776? Oh, that's pretty cool. That's cool. And then the second tallest one's also in North Dakota, TV Tower, KRDKTV.

Well, they should be selling that more. North Dakota, easy to get TV. Yeah. We got all the channels. Free cable. Yeah. Cable and HBO free, just like the motel sign. Maybe that's why it is so tall. People are so spread out there that you got to really get on up there to get TV. Really tough for the satellites to get to them. They got to put up big towers, you know?

The Wounded Knee Massacre happened in... Yeah, why wouldn't the satellite be able to get there? Yeah, it seems like they're up there. They just come right down. No need for a tower that big. You really believe there's stuff up there in space, Dusty?

Oh, no. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't know what's happening with the satellites. But it's funny. Why would that tower need to be there? But the tower probably was built a long time ago. Maybe so. Yeah. Don't they have radio towers still? Yeah. So I think you probably just have towers. But you're like, why don't they point some satellites over in that direction? Yeah. Maybe that's why they're not seeing any UFOs because they don't have any satellites going over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, I mentioned that the center of North America is in North Dakota. The geographical center of the United States is in South Dakota. The place in Kansas claims it, but they don't take Alaska and Hawaii into consideration. Now that Alaska and Hawaii are here, it's in Belfort, South Dakota. How do you really even take in Alaska and Hawaii? I guess you're just like... I kind of get Alaska. Hawaii seems like... I don't know if I get Alaska. Does Alaska touch America? Like the bottom? Touches Canada. Yeah. So it's like...

You just got this one section up at the top. How do you add that in? South Dakota seems high to be the US one. Yeah, Alaska's so far north though. I mean, so far. Oh, that's so crazy. Yeah. I got to go with Kansas on this one. Yeah. How did we get Alaska?

It's impressive. Bought it super cheap. Yeah, that's crazy. That's a real land sale going on. Let that go. Yeah. Were the Dakotas part of the Louisiana purchase? Yes. Oh, nice. We got those cheap too. Mm-hmm. Wow. Thomas Jefferson symbolizes the growth of the nation. He bought them with his own money? He bought the Dakotas with his own money, yeah. Yeah. The most inland point for either- How did they just taxes pay for?

However, the government has money. Yeah. Maybe they just wrote him a check. I don't actually know. Venmo. I don't know how they delivered that much money at that time. Were we still on the gold standard at that point? So we literally gave them. We talked about the Louisiana purchase during the Old West episode, but I don't remember. What was it, like three and a half million or something? Something crazy for half the United States. Not three and a half million. Yeah, yeah. I mean, so I'm wondering how they gave that money to him. Like, who does it go to? Yeah, you just give it to the king.

Yeah. I guess. Can I have this? He goes, I don't care. You get one king that's going to wish you washy and you're like, we just ripped that guy apart. He ain't going to care about North and South Dakota. He posted, if you come and get it, you can have it for free. Yeah. Just got to come get off my porch. Yeah. Louisiana purchase. $15 million for all that. Wow. Not even really all of Louisiana. How did they even? Yeah. It's like, I mean, they draw it on, they have it on a map. Have we even been to all that?

We hadn't really mapped it out and stuff. It was kind of a blind buy. It's like a garage sale where you just buy the box and see what's in there. Yeah, or like Storage Wars. Yeah. Yeah. Can't see all the way in the unit. There's a Grand Canyon in here. I guess the Grand Canyon. It really is. And then Spain had that. How'd they let their thing go? What thing? Spain. Spain had most of Texas. Oh, I see. A lot of bloodshed.

Oh, they didn't really sell it. It kind of worked its way out. It's kind of figured, yeah. They're like, well, we're not going to sell because that would be ridiculous. And you go, well, we'll do it the other way. Yeah. We can do the hard way or the easy way. Yeah. We were Ohio. Tennessee, 1803. The most landlocked area of North America from either coast is also in South Dakota. It's over 1,000 miles from either Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic Ocean. All right. Not a lot of lakes in there either. Yeah.

So Washington Pavilion, where you're performing. I'm going to Rapid City. Yeah. You're performing at Washington Pavilion. Yes. It's haunted. Oh. So the rumor is that they were doing some renovations back in 1997 and a guy fell to his death in the elevator shaft. Oh my gosh. And people say that his ghost will ride with you on the elevator and disappear before you reach your floor. So be careful, Nate. Or just record it. He'll just ride with you. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, he's cool, but he just wants to join you. Does he talk or something? I don't support him. Do you see him or do they say? They see him. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Don't get in the element. Yeah. I don't support him. We kind of have to now. Yeah. So ask him. Got to see, you know, I got a big group in there. I guess you wouldn't even be alone. Yeah, I guess so for him to come out. Some famous people from South Dakota, Tom Brokaw. Oh. Greatest generation.

Yep. I don't know if South Dakota, is the Dakotas considered the Midwest? I'm so confused about what the Midwest is. I feel like I generally know what the Midwest is. Dakotas, I'm not sure. I think it's like, I would just think Ohio, Illinois. Yeah. Indiana. You think kind of like Big 12.

I think Big Ten. Big Ten. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Many of the great news anchors come from the Midwest because their voice, because it's in the middle, it's not skewed southern or northern. It's kind of neutral. So that's why I was asking because Tom Brokaw is South Dakota, which I'm not sure. Tom Brokaw. That accent? Yeah, yeah. I don't know what that was. I'm just here now. Welcome to Hollywood.

That's how he talked. That's the accent you're talking about? Well, pleasant. That's how he talked. Yeah. It's coming around. You're getting better at it. I'll work on it. Yeah. Towards the end, I did. We'll talk after the physics episode. I'll have it ready.

Brock Lesnar's from South Dakota. He looks like it. Yeah. He looks like it, man. Yeah. That's just what they got up there. He worked on a dairy farm there. Oh, gosh. Yeah. He probably milked that giant cow. Yeah. It just looks like a guy.

That just, like, they don't, he's got no walls to keep him not growing. Like, it's just, they're too free range up there. Brock Lesnar's size. And you're like, golly, put a fence around him. What'd y'all, he live in an open house? It's like those watermelons. You gotta box them up. He was raised by bison, that guy. Yeah. I mean, a big, big fella.

Just the opposite, Bob Barker. How so from? Wow. Bob Barker small? He was thin. I don't know if he was small. He's maybe tall, but he's thin. What a great celebrity that guy was, Bob Barker. All I know is from Price is Right and Happy Gilmore. He's still alive. Yeah. Is it? Bob Barker is? No, I don't think so.

I thought he was. Yeah. Every pet spay. You would be the guy to know most on this. I mean, I'm a big Bob Barker fan. Is. Bob Barker is. He's still alive. Good for him, dude. Is he? Yeah. Where does that, where do you see is? Bob Barker right here in the description. Is in. And when somebody, when a celebrity dies, I mean, somebody is ready to go to change all those verbs to past tense. Oh, yeah.

A guy contacted me about getting a Wikipedia, and he goes, you want one of those? I go, yeah, I'll take one. What do I need to do? He goes, just give me $500. And I didn't respond. He goes, all right, $300. And you didn't? No, I never responded. Yeah, I don't think it cost $300. I don't. No, it's just somebody has to take the time to do it. Yeah, yeah, someone has to take the time to do it. I was like, yeah, if you want to do it, I'm down. Oh, man. Yeah, that's funny that they're even asking to do it.

What's this you're looking at here? Well, this is the Netflix, the stand-up. You're the only one that's not got a link to it. It's Brian Simpson and Dusty Slayer. The only two without one, man. Well, y'all are definitely the youngest comedians. Y'all two out of them. I like that. Skip a bit of a mystery here. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, yeah, it was, you always wonder, and then it's, but I think someone else, people just type this stuff in, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But it's verified, it's confirmed, it's checked. Oh, that's where they do that. By other people. Yeah. I did not attend McGavock High School. That's always been a rule. I went to Donaldson Christian. You take speech classes, though. Yeah. I do take speech classes. Yeah. Yeah.

There's been times where people have changed your Wikipedia just because of something from the podcast, just to kind of make an inside joke. Yeah. He married Laura Baines. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah. You don't want one of these, does he? No. You don't want anybody to be able to look up all your personal details? They have the Grady, the spinoff game. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. The what? The Aperture Desk Job. Aperture Desk Job. Oh, yeah. So Deadwood...

Did you ever watch the HBO show Deadwood? I know about it, but I don't. I hear it was great. I didn't see it either. But it's set in the town of Deadwood, South Dakota. It's one of the famous towns of the Old West. Gold Rush happened, and they were just lawless there. And just anything went. Wild Bill Hickok was killed there. Oh, gosh. But it's a famous tourist site there because it's just like the wildest of the Wild West.

Yeah, I would think if you're a Dakota, it's like go – B, that needs to be your marketing. It's almost like if you're – I don't know. It's almost like are you man enough to even – you've got to be a real dude to live here. It's like that kind of attitude. Yeah.

Your family comes here, it's about your family. It's about your, we take care of our own, this kind of attitude. And I feel like that's what you would be. The Wild West was here. We handled our own, that kind of, and it can't be mean. So you got to have a balance. Yeah, tough to be inviting when you're also be like, you got to be a man to live here, but hey. But you're inviting those types of people. Yeah. And I'm not saying they're bad. It's like people that are just like,

I want to have some land. You know, you want to live like the old, I want to have some land. I want to. Maybe it's acknowledging that person is inside all of us. Yes. It's not about just finding the people that are that way. It's about discovering that side of you. Yeah. Come to Dakota and to celebrate the man inside you. That's good. Yeah. That's Billy Mays right there. That's what I'm talking about, dude. OxiClean. OxiClean. Yeah, that's exactly it. That is good. Because that would make you be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go, well, you know. Mm-hmm.

It's in there. Because everybody, you do have that. I have the, you want land and I want to be outside. I feel it coming on every now and then. Yeah. You watch Braveheart or something and you're like, I want to fight. Yeah, I want to do something. I want to be a man. I want to be a man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At the grocery store and you're like, I was hunting this stuff. I miss it. Yeah, I just miss it.

to have someone hold some ham and you got one to tackle it. And they're like, well, let me just tackle this ham. I just feel an urge to, you know, just take a knife into the grocery store and just cut into the package right there in the store. Yeah. Yeah. And they go, what are you doing? Oh, sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Miss, miss. I got to get North Dakota. I got to get North Dakota right now where this stuff is allowed. Yeah. Yeah. Your buddy. That could be. Yeah. Yeah. Your grocery store is a zoo.

That's what they should do. Their act could be that you walk into a grocery store and it's just, you know, the animals are free range living there. And then you got to wrestle it down. Yeah. Get it, daddy. It's just some kid, you know. Or the Tom Brokaw accent. Get it down. We're here at the Kroger Zoo. Are you going to see? Yeah.

Your buddy, Eric Stonestreet, had a very funny video a few days ago where he was like, he was in front of the guy, I'm so livid, I'm going to punch the next guy I see. And then he turns it around, it's Brock Lesnar standing there. He's like, I'm going to punch the second guy I see. I don't know where he was at, but it was clearly really Brock Lesnar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know where he was at either, but yeah, I think I saw that too. It was very funny. We talked about this in the Doppelganger episode, but

during the Dakota war with the Indians, Nate's great, great, great grandfather led that charge. And, uh,

And he told them to just let them eat grass. I was trying to remember his name. Was it Andrew Myrick? I don't remember. Something like that. I remember somebody made the fake poster. Yeah, they made a fake movie poster called Dakota with you and Lou Diamond Phillips. Yeah. But I wish I could show it to you, Dusty. There's a guy that looked just like... Oh, yeah? I think you put in Dakota and let them eat grass. Maybe he'll come up. Oh, yeah. He's got to be related to...

There he is. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah, that is crazy. I forgot about this, too. I mean... Yeah. Wow. That's so crazy. Wow.

What did it say? He's certainly not a good guy. No, he's a storekeeper. Storekeeper on a Minnesota Native American reservation refused to sell to Indians and told them to eat grass if they were hungry. He was found dead on the first day of the Dakota War in 1862 with grass stuffed in his mouth and buttocks. Wow. Yeah, it didn't seem like a great guy. But that's like, golly, dude.

That looks exact. Like you could, can, if you even mess with the picture, you could just, I would just assume it's me. Yeah. If you put it in a different scenario. Yeah. But I don't know if you're looking at that picture, then you're like, but it's like my, the eyes and I could look like this guy. We just have some big dumb eyes. We got, we've evolved from there, buddy.

What's his last name? We don't say that. You can go back and tell. Myrick? No, Myrick. I think his last name is like Bargetzi. Are you sure he's not related to you guys? I don't think so. Yeah, that movie poster they made, they put your actual face on his body, but it wasn't that different. No, no, yeah. Yeah, that is pretty wild. Yeah, I don't know if we were, I don't think we were here. The family, the Myrick, the Myricks were here. Y'all were still in wherever you were in Europe? Italy, but like...

I thought you said y'all weren't Italian. No, no. That was the... That DNA thing, 23andMe. Yeah. But then like someone... I went and did like the...

family tree kind of thing. And that's, and we like, it's all like Italy and Switzerland. Like it was right on like the border of Italy and Switzerland is like where Bargetti is and a lot of that stuff. Yeah. I don't believe 23andMe at all. Yeah. I believe they're just going, yeah, yeah. They're for it. Yeah. I don't, I don't know. Cause it's, it's, yeah. I don't know if how true all that stuff is. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, the Dakota Wars went on for a while, and the last major battle was the Wounded Knee Massacre, where 146 Sioux Indians were killed, 31 U.S. soldiers. There's a miniseries on HBO, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, that was pretty good. I watched that one. I guess it's based off a book, but yeah, it's...

It was pretty brutal back then, just everything going on. But that kind of ended the war with them. Dakota is a Sioux word that means friend or ally. I wonder if they, yeah. Well, it's funny to be like, too, like you're now, they name it, like, is it Massacre? Yeah. Well, it's like, I feel like now it's like trying to be nice to them. And you're like, yeah, dude, you did, you ended us. And now it's like, and now like, I wonder if like Native Americans take it as like, no, I'd rather you just hate me.

Because at least I know where you're staying. Like, now you're being, like, lovey. They put a plaque up. You're trying to do all this stuff for me. You're like, you destroyed us. And now you're, like, my buddy? Like, I don't, you know what I mean? Well, I think Mount Rushmore, they're like, well, let's do something to honor you guys. And they're like, all right, we want our land back. And they're like, well, we're not going to do that. But we'll do anything else. And they've offered them stuff. And they're like, no, we just want our land back. It was called something else. That mount was called something else.

six grandfathers or something and then the one of the rich people who donated to the cause his last name was Rushmore and he was like what if we just called it Mount Rushmore and I mean that is a good name that's that's the stock that's the hard part if you're those if you're in the Sioux even they're like it is a good name yeah Rushmore's a strong they would start going you know what they want to call it you've been over to Rushmore and he's like what

Because it's easy to say. Yeah. But yeah, like I would wonder if you, I bet you could talk to some and they'd be, because it's all like, you know, it's, you want to, yeah, you want to be nice, but it's like, I mean, you just ended a group of people. Yeah. And then now it's like, oh, but we're, you know, we celebrate you guys a little bit here and there. And you're like, I'd rather you just hate us. Right. Like that would at least be, you know. In North Dakota, they still have powwows. Yeah.

They're the number one state for powwows, which is kind of like a homecoming for Native Americans. Yeah. How do they rank something like that on that ranker? Number one place to go for a powwow. Yeah. But I didn't know powwow was really still a real thing, but it is when they get together. There's never been a president from either Dakotas, but there has been a vice president, Hubert Humphrey. One of the most boring ones. Hubert Humphrey, though, that's a fun name.

Yeah, I don't know if I would have known that's a president. Yeah, me either. He wasn't. He was the vice president. Oh, vice president. Oh, yeah. Seems like a real, almost like a jazz musician. Who was the vice president for? 65 to 69, so that would have been Johnson, I think. They don't say it. Well, I mean, there you could see, but I don't know. Yeah, it was Lyndon Johnson.

Yeah. LBJ. I remember that. Yeah. Jimmy Carter just turned 98, and I was like, he was the president when you were born. How crazy is that? Yeah. The president when you were born is still alive. Yeah, that is crazy. Yeah, it's remarkable. Yeah. Yeah. They're doing a documentary on Jimmy Carter. Are y'all really? Yeah. With Jimmy Carter? Yeah.

Whoa. No, he didn't want to do it. George McGovern ran for the president for the Democratic Party in 1972. He was from South Dakota, but he lost. There's a law. That's the closest they've come to having a president, the Democratic nominee. There's a law in South Dakota. I don't know if this, I want you to investigate when you're there. This can't be still done, but I couldn't find otherwise that hotel rooms are required by law to have two twin beds in every room, two feet apart.

All right, we'll find out. See if you can get a king bed. If they say, nope, it's against the law. Yeah. Yeah, I would think. I would think. Why? Why is that? That's got to hurt the tourism industry. Yeah. To be like, oh, I got to sleep in a twin bed? Yeah, maybe stop worrying about getting the word north removed. What did that say? Look at these laws. So this is- They're all crazy. Horses aren't allowed into fountains unless they're wearing pants.

I support that. Well, I mean, it's cold. I'm going to defend all these laws. Yeah. So, don't give me all the advice. Okay. Because it's cold and they get, you know. Here we go. It's against the law to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. I support it. Because cheese goes bad quick. It's true. So, we can't have you just being sound asleep. And I think the horse thing is...

They wanted the law to be don't put horses in the water. And they were like, no, you can't just say that. They go, all right, we'll find they have to be wearing pants. Because you know how hard it is to put pants on a horse? Like, if you get pants on, you can go in that water. Yeah, casinos in South Dakota are not allowed to post signs that say casino.

Like road signs are not allowed to have casino. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. You won't defend that one? Oh, defend it. Wait, they're not allowed to have signs. Yeah, they're not allowed to have signs to say casino. Yeah, I mean, it just looks trashy. We're not about trashiness in North Dakota. You come in, it's a proper place. You know the casino's there. You want gambling to be a surprise. You want to walk in and go, oh, I can gamble. No one's just driving through North Dakota by accident. You know where you're going.

We don't need a sign. Yeah. It's against the law to convince a pacifist to abandon his beliefs by threatening to arm wrestle him. I'm not sure what a pacifist means. They don't believe in war. They're just peace. Peace. No violence. Oh, and you can't... Well, I mean, so it's against the law to do that. So I think it should be allowed. It should be allowed because that's... You can never...

have an honest conversation with them because if you go let's just arm wrestle and then if they consider that violent then you're like i mean come on dude imagine that law being created though like people are like i don't believe a war that somebody's like come on dude just arm wrestle me yeah just arm wrestle me and yeah i i don't feel that blood running through your hand doesn't that feel good

How many are there? I think there's eight. Was that it? Oh, yeah. There are a couple more. It's the bad one that we just talked about. Let's not do them because it's maybe some comedy. That last one, I mean, go ahead and do the last one. Well, do the, what was the other next one? Do the last. It's legal to use fireworks to protect your sunflower crop. It is legal to use fireworks to protect your sunflower crop. So I would want it to be illegal.

And it would just burn up. It should be illegal because you're protecting it, what, from your fireworks? No, you're defending the law, right? No way.

No, am I defending her? Yeah, you're defending them. Oh, okay. So I think, all right. So what is it? So you're trying to argue it should be legal to use fireworks to protect your sunflower crop. It should be. It shouldn't be. I'm not trying to use a gun. Look, I'll kill everybody if you want me to. There you go. Or I'll throw some bottle rockets out there and knock everybody back a little bit. Yeah, and what business is it of theirs what I use to defend my sunflower crop? Yeah. You know?

Yeah, come to my house. You can see what I'm going to defend. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, exactly. Is it the last one? That's the last one. Oh, there wasn't one more? There was one about the bed, the one I'm starting on. Oh, the bed. Yeah, okay. Which that's the only one I thought would apply to you on this trip, but maybe not. Yeah. You could get crazy. You might get a sunflower crop while you're up there. Could have to put pants on a horse. That would be hard. I mean, it's just such a risky thing.

Like if it was the legs, the front, you'd be like, eh, they can't. They're not as like, you know, what is it? What does he say? The...

frankestan the jimmy leg oh yeah she got the jimmy leg they don't have it like at the back though is like it's just is it one pair of is it one article of clothing with four leg holes or is it two separate pairs of pants i'm picturing full-on pants the tail comes out it didn't say two pairs of pants right just as long as you got yeah he's asking about the front legs

Oh, no, I'm just picturing the back. Oh, yeah. I was just picturing the back. I wanted every leg painted up. Yeah, the front is... That's his arms. I'll go do it in two seconds. I'll put the front on. I could drive right now and be back here for this podcast and have the pants on the front of a horse. Now, the back...

Oh, yeah. The back of a horse. I mean, that is tough. That's a horse ready to drink some water. Horses already have trouble. They can't see back there, and they're already like, what's going on? And so they're already on edge about anything that happens in that back. Watch the tail. And then if they kick you, they can kick you through a wall. Yeah, get that horse to a fountain. The main part of pants are the legs. So...

That's the tough part. I'm here for a fountain. I'm looking to get in a fountain here. That's what that horse is saying. Excuse me, sir. I'm looking for the fountain. Yeah, you could do it. They should do that. That's what they should... North Dakota, you want some publicity? Put a horse with pants in a fountain. And they go, there's nothing we can do.

This is what I was picturing. Lowrider. I wasn't picturing this. Some skinny jeans there. Yeah. I wasn't picturing that at all. I think it's weird that you were picturing that. That's not right and decent. That's a hipster horse. Yeah. Yeah. It's an East Nashville horse. Yeah. Yeah, that horse ain't going to sound. You're right, because his rear end is still out of the pants, huh? Yeah. Yeah, that horse is...

That horse is drinking out of water bottles. A Yeti. Like that horse, he's in a water bottle, just says that to you like, all right. Just walks around and reminds you of that every day. I saw a picture. You had a water bottle sitting behind you in that picture. You go, I know, man. I'm trying to get off of him. It's just hard. All right. All right. That's fun. The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.

Every year in Sturgis, South Dakota. That's big. It is a big one. South Dakota gets a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. They're doing better. Fargo. The movie didn't help Fargo. Cause it's like that. Well, that's North Dakota, but yeah, I know. Well, that's, I know, but that's the, I'm saying that problem is North Dakota is the one that seems like they're having trouble and that's why they wanted to change the name. So yeah. Well, that was just on the West wing.

But I think it's based on sort of a real sentiment. It seems like they're not having trouble getting people there. They're having trouble getting them to stay. So maybe they need to work on whatever they got once the people get there.

Right, because they're going for these rallies. They're going to see Mount Rushmore. That's all South Dakota. That's South Dakota. North Dakota's got, I mean. Everything he brings up that's big is in South Dakota. But they're both on the low population list, right? Right. Yeah, but North Dakota's number one. But all the tourism money goes to South Dakota. Oh, okay. North Dakota, they're trying to get some tourism. They're trying to get something going on in there. They have a tourism site in Fargo where they have the wood chipper from the movie Fargo.

There, you can see. That's tough. Maybe put that on a brochure. You could. That's tough to... Don't get too close. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tough thing. I mean, it's like, yeah, I think you just picture that movie. It's just so... Cold. Cold and yeah, that's tough. Dreary and... But Canada's doing it. I think North Dakota... I think what Canada has going for them is they have a border that doesn't allow you to leave if you're born there. You know what I mean? You can't just move right out.

If you're born in North Dakota, you'll go, I'm going to move to Texas. Yeah, that's true. I'm going to move to Texas. But you can move to a different, yeah. They can move to somewhere else, like Vancouver. It's going to be cold everywhere. But you can go to Vancouver, and you get at least a shot of some summertime. That's the movie poster. It's not a real good endorsement. Yeah, there you go. Look at the scenery there.

There's nothing to see except they spotted that from two miles out. Yeah. But Sturgis, yeah, they have 500,000 to 700,000 people come every year. A couple of years ago during the height of COVID, they called it a super spreader event because people went to it and didn't wear masks and people were very upset about it. But it's a huge, huge motorcycle rally. Dennis Rodman's gone. Yeah.

Yeah, I bet it's... I didn't believe this was big until you said Dennis Rodman came. Yeah, that's huge. It is huge. You're making fun of me? Yeah, that's such a funny... All right. I would go and get one of those three-wheeled motorcycles. Yeah? Yeah, I could go ride around there. That's a good motorcycle guy? You get beat up at this place. I like them, but I'm not into it. I don't know. You think they're fighting that much out there? I think if you showed up with a three-wheeler trying to act like you were part of it... There's a... Oh. Take your e-bike. Yeah. Yeah.

I could take my e-bike up there. Yeah. Yeah. How do you fit in? You just got to go with the vibe that's there. Just be respectful of them. I'm not going to ride around on a four-wheeler being like, can I pull you? Could you get your mask pulled up? That guy's going to get beat up. Yeah. Yeah.

Can you imagine if you went and wore a mask there? Oh, gosh. But you know what? I bet they would have... No one would have said anything. Right. Because no one says... No one cares if someone's wearing a mask. Uh...

But it would, you, I mean, you would feel uncomfortable. Like, I did a joke about that. I was like, you could always leave, like, any kind of major city, go to, like, some gas station. You just have your mask on because you were just used to it. And you walk in and you're like, I would take it off because, like, this is uncomfortable. And I don't, they're not going to say anything to me. They're not going to do anything to me. But you're just like, the vibe is like, why do you have a mask on? You're like, why do I? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

The first surviving set of quintuplets was born in South Dakota. Wow. South Dakota once again. Four girls, one boy. Imagine having five kids at once. Yeah. It's a lot. Jeez. You got to be done then. Probably. I could do it. You could? It's not that hard. You could have them or raise them. You could raise them. Yeah. Yeah. The having part would be tough. I think, were you talking about the having part? Yeah.

It was a woman in this case that literally birthed them and she had five kids. But I just meant... Yeah, that part would be different. It was a woman in this case. I mean, nowadays, you can do whatever. I think we're wearing a mask up at Sturgis. You know what I mean? Exactly.

There's that guy over there. Guys, everyone put their mask on. Well, Dusty was, I was listening to Dusty's podcast during the pandemic and he was like, I don't care if you wear a mask, don't wear a mask. I don't care. I'm not going to make fun of you. So I showed up at Zaney's that night.

And I walk in the green room. Dusty goes, oh, it's Bane from The Dark Knight Rises. And immediately made fun of me. Pretty good. Yeah. I didn't even know I made that joke. That's not bad. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I try to not make fun of people. You're still upset about it? Yeah, I'm still upset about it. He tricked me. We have in San Francisco. No one laughed at me. Did I talk about this in San Francisco? I think it was San Francisco. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was somewhere else. Two people wearing gas masks.

Oh, wow. In the front row. Maybe it wasn't San Francisco. It was somewhere. At the show? At the show. I don't think it was San Francisco. It was somewhere else. Maybe Long Beach. And the two people in the front row. I did not see it until the end. I never would have brought it up to begin with. Just because it's like where. But they were in the front row. Sometimes you can't tell. Do you want it brought up? Do you not want it brought up? But I didn't see it just when I went out there. It's hard to. Well, those are your two biggest fans of all time. They have to be.

Yeah. If they were so worried about it, they wore gas masks. Yeah. And they still came to the show. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. It was like, and I think they, you know, I'm sure everybody was like, everybody's wearing a gas mask. I mean, you're going to notice it, but I don't think they noticed it.

Nothing happened. Tough to say if they had a good time, right? Because you can't really see anything going on. I mean, I got a standing ovation. They were the first two to... That's how quick I saw it. It was just boom. It popped up. But that's why it was like... I didn't know... Do they want me to notice it? Do they want... Are they... Is it like... I'm not trying to know what this is about. But I imagine...

Probably can't go to too many comedy shows and sit up front of the gas mask. And not have it mentioned once. And not have it mentioned. I mean, I couldn't see. And I don't know if anybody really saw any comic on the show. You're just not expecting it. So you just happen to not see it. Yeah. Yeah. You think you'll get a chance to see, explore anything in the Dakotas? Yeah. I mean, we're going to Fargo. I don't know what the schedule is.

is i think i'm i have i have like i'm i have some like private event i gotta do in vegas tonight before fargo so uh fargo might be quick i don't know where i go after but well then you go to sioux falls and oh you gotta at least ride that elevator wash the pavilion yeah i'll do that but i'll definitely be like i want to see something yeah fargo you know i'll see what it's about yeah let us know yeah now keep it posted i wonder what the weather's gonna be

Very cold. I'm predicting it. No, I bet. You think so? Yeah. Right now in October? I wouldn't think so. Fargo, North Dakota? I think so. 40s. 72 right now. It's 72 degrees right now. Low 53. Perfect day right there. Yeah. Saturday, it's low 39, low 33. See that north part's what tricked you, Dusty. You just assume it's cold up there. I mean, when I went up- Answers Nate's question.

I mean, it was so cold when I went. I don't remember what the date was, but it was like, I was like, wow, this is unreal. Yeah, yeah. I think it gets like that. But, you know, that's, I mean, highs of 70. I mean, that's got to be beautiful up there.

Like when it's like 70, I bet it feels cool. I enjoyed it. When I was in Fargo, when I was in Devil's Lake, very cold. When I was in Fargo, it was summer. It was great. Bounced around a little bit. Went to like an Irish pub and we did some like tobacco that you like. It's like snuff. And not for me, but I enjoyed it. Yeah.

There you go. All right. Is that it? Yep. I think I'm in. So that's where you're at this weekend. Yep. I think I'm doing a show at a church in Yadkinville, North Carolina this weekend. And then I got my dry bar taping October 22nd and then comedy catch October 28th and 29th. Nice. Chicago, Illinois.

Zany's in Chicago, Old Town. Milwaukee on Sunday. And then Davenport, Iowa, the Renwick Mansion, Monday night. Haunted Mansion. Pretty exciting. And then Vegas next week. And then Atlanta the week after that. Come see me.

I'm not really sure what we established by when this was coming out. Next week. Okay, so I'll be in Syracuse, New York at the Funny Bone. It's going to be great. Yeah, I've been there. Yeah. It's a big club. I love it. I've been there many times. Yeah. All right, go check everybody out. Yeah, as always, we love you. Hey, Bear. And see you next week. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland podcast.