We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode EP 87: Banking And Med School: 4 Dummies

EP 87: Banking And Med School: 4 Dummies

2022/5/31
logo of podcast This Is Important

This Is Important

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
A
Adam
主持和编辑 STAT 的生物技术播客 “The Readout LOUD”,专注于生物技术新闻和行业分析。
K
Kyle
多个发言人
Topics
Kyle: 他夸耀自己对女性身体部位的了解,并表达自己对吸烟和吸食大麻的习惯,以及对女性体型的看法。 Adam: Adam 回忆他和 Kyle 在拉斯维加斯过度透支的经历,并以此来对比他们一起经历的疯狂时光,表达了对过度透支的无奈和对过去时光的怀念。 多个发言人: 讨论围绕着空气邦格的玩笑,以及对听众的互动邀请。 多个发言人: 讨论Wells Fargo银行的员工,特别是女员工的体型,以及该银行过去的一些丑闻,表达了对银行行为的批评和调侃。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The discussion revolves around air bong rips, weed culture, and the nuances of making specific sounds while smoking.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

So I have some big news for vegans and vegetarians everywhere. It's Hellman's plant-based mayo spread and dressing. Made for people with a plant-based diet or anyone really who wants to enjoy the great taste of Hellman's real without the eggs. Hellman's plant-based is perfect for sandwiches, salads, veggie burgers, or any of your family favorites.

To celebrate, Hellman's is sharing some easy, delicious plant-based recipes at hellmans.com. Hellman's Plant-Based Mayo Spread and Dressing. Same great taste, plant-based.

Hey guys, we here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese! It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it. What? I know, I'm crazy. Yeah, dude, it's hella good. You gotta try it. With so many unique recipes...

How could you go wrong? And yes, you can find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home.

The Big Game or Big Mods? First Date or First Big Brake Kit? Binge That New Show or Binge Install Videos? When you're a real car lover, the choice is obvious. eBay Motors has the parts you need for the ride you love. Brake kits, bumpers, roof racks, and engines.

And with eBay Guaranteed Fit, your part is guaranteed to fit your ride every time or your money back. Plus, at these prices, you're burning rubber, not cash. Keep your ride or die alive at ebaymotors.com. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply.

If you're a smoker or dipper looking to make a change, you really only need one reason to do it. But with Zinn Nicotine Pouches, you can find many. Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch. It's made with only six simple ingredients. Plus, Zinn is the only nicotine pouch with a 10-day hassle-free trial. There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zinn. Find yours in online or in a store near you at zinn.com slash find.

Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This is Important...

Wow, I'm like really knowledgeable about the vagina. I can just remember the parts very well. Fuck you! I smoke weed! I smoke cigarettes! I've been smoking for years! I'm Kyle! If I was a woman, I wouldn't be a big-titted woman. I'd be a big-ass woman. I ain't putting on a brassiere! It's not happening! And here we go. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Happy, happy! Joy, joy!

Happy, happy. Kyle, what are you smoking? Hello. Oh, man. Is Kyle token? Did you just fucking rip it, dude? Smoking. He just ripped an air bong and didn't make the noise. What do you mean? Yes, I did. I didn't hear it. I made the noise. Did you guys hear it? I didn't hear it. Let's hear it. Wait, is there like air bong, like air guitar championships? There should be. I feel like in weed culture, they embraced everything. Let's see if Kyle would be on it.

Let's hear it. Do you not hear that? No. We don't. You don't hear that? We definitely don't hear that. I don't hear anything. No. Okay, hold on. Let me turn up the dial, I guess, because I'm fucking doing it. This is the best part. Yeah, turn up the dial, because I want to hear you air rip it, Kyle. We've done it before. Let's see if you've improved. Yeah, let's hear it, Kyle.

Oh, it's a slight one. It's a baby rip. Okay. Smoke weed every day. Oh, shit. I cannot believe you can't hear that. Hey, slide in Kyle's DMs with your air bong rip videos and send them to Kyle. We'll pick one and give you a mention in the retweet.

Yeah, and I mean, those were loud. If those were not, like, loud, just turn them up, Todd. You know what I mean? Turn them up real quick. Crank that shit up. Yeah, because they were loud over here. Blast that shit. Don't tell Todd what to do. You guys want some cookies? Kyle, do one more. Why do I have to do it again? I don't want to do it again. I don't want to do it anymore.

Mary's shouting. Oh, now you can hear me. We want people to know how quiet it was for us and how we couldn't hear it. And then now Todd's going to turn this one up. And I wanted them to hear how much you rip, Doug. Oh, okay. Here we go. Here we go, man. Rank that bitch up. Oh, damn. We're coming on fire today. Why do you always say coming on fire? He just choked. He just choked. Oh, boy.

He just choked. Choking. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. It's on the microphone. I have green tea on my whole fucking setup right now. You got yolk on your face. Oh, shit, dude. Damn, bro. I saw your life flash before your eyes. That shit caught a tube or something. I don't know what the fuck happened.

I'm sorry I did that to you. I kind of pressured you into that one. I knew I didn't want to go again. You're right. But you know what, Adam? That's what happens. You can pressure me into doing things and then I do them and sometimes I get hurt. And other times you have a great time.

Yeah. Right. Would you say that's your guys' relationship? Yeah. But it's like when we were roommates and you used to say, come on, let's go to Vegas. Let's go to Vegas. Vegas. And I had no money in my ATM card or in my account. And then you end up leaving with like fucking six overdrafts. And I'm in the hole even harder, you know? But do you remember...

Do you remember those overdrafts as much as you remember us being the party police? Being blackout drunk? In anguish? I mean, to a point, I remember our times together in Vegas. More than those overdraft fees. And by the way, how much do you think you racked up in overdraft fees? Oh, I just overdrafted yesterday. What? I fucked up. Blake? Blake?

Give me a call, man. We'll talk. We'll have my guy send some money to you. Hey, Blake, we have the same business manager. What's going on there? Is he dropping the ball for you? Do we got a call? Yeah, but I have a little secret, like a little Wells Fargo account that I go to and overdraft when I want to feel, you know, that feeling again. Okay. This is bizarre. Okay, let's go.

Okay, let's go. And what did you overdraft on? It has to be something... When you overdraft, you want it to be something cool where you're just like, you know what? Fuck it. I just bought a pinball machine. Yeah. Right. A fur coat. Yeah. A fur pinball machine. A fur pinball machine. Yeah, mine's just like, I got the house cleaner. Just cast a check when I didn't expect it to happen. What has happened? But also, like, how much...

You should have in your... Yeah. I have my checking account that just has a few Gs, and then there's the other one that I never even touch, right? Whoa. Okay. What? So what's going on with your little... Why do you have...

This is actually the Wells, my very, very, very first bank account that I ever opened in Concord, California. Me too. Okay, we get it. I have the same thing as well. It was my college. I opened it when I was 18 when I first moved to California in my Wells Fargo. I also, it has a place in my heart because I love Wells Fargo. Me too. I love that they are known for ripping people off. Extremely known, yeah. And class action lawsuits. Hey, they got big titty tellers too. Do they?

Do they? It's been a while since I've been inside. Are you still going to the bank? Dude, when we had Workaholics and I would go cash those big, big checks.

in Van Nuys, those first workaholic ones. Uh-huh. Dang, those big titty tellers were like, what's up? What are you working on? Admittedly, I remember that exact same thing. I went in. We might have gone in together, excited to cash our checks. I remember those big titty tellers being like, uh,

Yo, what's up? Yeah. Verbatim? Because we've been going in catching like $400 checks. Yeah, no. We were coming in there to cash in quarter rolls. And they're like, okay, here come these guys. Blake used to count his, literally count nickels and then take a little sack of nickels and get like $23. Right. Which is a lot of nickels, turns out. It is. And then we went in and cashed a check for like, I don't know.

eight thousand dollars or something that fucking blew their mind some grousins and both of them said mail order comedy on them they're like what's this little startup company hello take a guess why don't you take a guess take a guess what do you think it is hey those big titty tellers looked at us and we're like we work yeah baby yeah yeah

I think it's the uniforms because I do remember going to the one over on Fairfax and Beverly right there. And I don't know if the titties were big or if it's – But some – it's a problem. It's a problem? I don't know where to swipe my ATM card. Oh, wow. Holy mackerel. Well, we all know that Wells Fargo has done shady stuff in the past, right? Have they? So do we think – yeah, they were like – they were –

Are they overdrafting my shit? They were opening accounts for people without their full knowledge of opening accounts. And then they would incur charges because it had no money in it. Oh, I think they did it for me. Honestly, I think I had one that was open that I was like, huh? Yeah, they did it for like,

thousands of people and it's like a huge class action lawsuit against them and I'm saying that like I know what the fuck it is but right Journal for sure I'm impressed bro I'm hell of impressed that your knowledge of Wells yeah dude this is the wolf of Wall Street out of our friend group yeah that's me and I

So maybe they do other shady shit like only hiring big-titted tellers. Dude, I believe it. Like someone at the top is like a little bit of a creep. And is that shady? I don't know. Shady or cool? Who knows? But also, I would say it's shady. It's perspective. Wells Hooters. What lens are you looking through? Because if I was a woman, I wouldn't be a big-titted woman. I'd be a big-ass woman. Yeah, you would. They all work at USAA. Right.

You don't think you'd have cans? How can you know? You don't think you'd have a good rack if you were a girl? God, I wonder. Well, you look at the women in your family. Yeah, I look at the women. Is that? But yeah, but aren't, don't boobs vary? Yeah, I think that moves. I think that changes. No, just speaking for myself, I would be up top two bee stings. That's what I would be. And down bottom? Okay. Three G-strings. Your boobs are huge. Okay.

I'm pretty sure I know for a fact I'd be stacked. Yeah. Yeah. Your boobs are huge. No, you would have big old titties, but no ass. You'd be like, you'd be, you'd walk a little funny. No. Kyle's boobs would hang so low though. The thin skin? Kyle's boobs would hang. Well, that's because I'm not wearing a bra. That's because I ain't wearing a bra, bro. Yeah. No. You're free. You're free the nipple. You're part of the free the nipple movement. Hey, cool. Only on special occasions. Yeah. Special occasions. All right. That's what's up. There we go.

And Ders has boobs. Yeah, that's why I haven't weighed in yet. I'm just like, your boobs are huge. These are all hypotheticals. I'm living the life here. Your boobs are huge. Ders is wearing a bra right now. I mean, not for nothing, though. The guys who worked at Wells Fargo were pretty freaking put together as well, man. The hair gel on the dude. Hard hair. The hard hair. The haircuts.

They get haircuts every week for sure. Oh, yeah. What's up with that? With like smart glasses where they're like, I can actually help you over here. And you're like, I'm going to her, dude. Well, like I said, there's a creep at the top on the Wells Fargo pyramid who's just only picking hotties with bodies to work at the Fargo. Yeah. It's like Abercrombie. And this went back to the stagecoach. You know, they wanted some hot pieces of ass on that stagecoach.

You can ride. You can ride. Yeah. You can walk. You can walk, baby. He looked at the Kyle girl and was like, you can walk. No. No, they didn't. No, they didn't. No, they didn't. They did. No, they didn't. No, I heard what you said, and I disagree. They looked at Kyle's great, great, great grandma, and said, you're walking, baby.

Well, God. Water trash. Yeah. Water trash. But that's how Chase Bank started because she was chasing after and then she was like, fuck this. I'm starting my own bank. I'm going back to the river. Water trash. I ain't putting on a brassiere. It's not happening. Look, girl, you're not getting in here. You can chase us, but okay. You know what? I'm going to start my own bank.

I'm going back to the river. She definitely lives down by the river. Dude, Chase Bank. Hey, how about how they have those banks and churches? What's up with the first third bank of whatever? Or like the first seventh Baptist? I don't understand that shit. Wait, what is this now? Hold on. In banks and churches, for some reason, there will be like the first third bank of the Pacific Northwest. Or the first third bank of...

Dude, I'm just saying. Is that a thing? I don't know. I don't know if I know. Blake, please jump in. You're nodding yes. I'm not catching the grounding element here. It sounds familiar. It sounds familiar. You've never seen like a sign for a church that's like the second, third Presbyterian whatever. And you're like, huh?

Well, I think there's like Seventh-day Adventists or something like that. Seventh-day Baptists. I don't know. Or something like that, right? I like how you're calling me out, then you add that to the party. Well, Seventh-day, I believe, is like a reference to the Bible, right? Those are Mormons. The Latter-day Saints? Yeah, those are Mormons. The Joseph Smith followers, yes. Yeah, because on the seventh day, they found the plates that Joseph Smith wrote or something. Let's go for it. Okay.

Let's go, Brandon. I remember some of Mormon lore and legacy, but I know Joseph Smith found some gold plates. Right. Religious people love when you call their... When you refer to their religion as lore. Yes, as lore and legend. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, so the lore and legend states on the third day he rose again. The myth. The mythology. I only know because Mormon churches always have really sick indoor basketball courts. Yo, they stay having indoor basketball courts. Very true. They all have one. Dude, Mormons can ball, dude. Yeah. We had one in my church, though.

Why? Why do they all have basketball courts? To recruit children to con them into giving their money when they're grownups and then having their children. Con them? It's science. Con them? They're giving...

Giving it to the Lord. And also, where Ders and I are from... It's cold. That's right. It's because it's cold, Kyle. It's cold. Oh. Bring us your cold, your basketball players. Oh, okay. My Catholic elementary school when I was a kid, I went to a Catholic elementary school. It had a shitty... It was like a shitty school. Like, really shitty. But it had an indoor basketball court and the ceilings... Yeah, but that's school. That's school. We're talking church. The ceilings were 12 feet high. You would...

constantly be throwing the basketball under the ceiling. We're talking straight up church. Yeah. You're jumping... Adam, all school, every school has a basketball court, I would venture to say. Every school. Yeah, but it's also a church. Every school has one, Adam.

But it's also a church. Water trash. Right, but they built the basketball thing to have the school to treat the children with the money. Yes, there's ways to get kids in. Like our church would have video game night, and then every kid would come over and play 007 GoldenEye until their eyes bled. And then once it got around midnight, they'd start pumping and, you know,

The messages. The lock-in. Oh, you can't go anywhere now, kids. Guess what? Jesus is watching you sleep. You can't go anywhere. I'm going to watch. Scary. So they would let you play like violent video games? He's going to watch me J-O. Yeah, they would have video game night. You could do whatever. You could play the games.

And you can J-O. Yeah. So, wait. So, you guys both mentioned J-O. I want to get into that. J-O. It's science. It's Jesus and other guy. No. You know what it was? It was a 24-hour fast.

but also a video game night because I think Nintendo 64 just dropped, so they were like, yo, these kids can play four-player. You think these graphics are fast? How about we fast for 24 hours? We did that together, didn't we? And it was actually hella hard to not eat for 24 hours. We got so hungry. We got so hungry. We were delusional. Listen, this is the whole thing. They starve you for 24 hours, and then they go, guess what, guys?

We're going to give you food and you're like, oh, this is the best sensation ever. I'm going to remember here at church. Take my money. This is the body of Christ you're eating. No, that's what the fucking weird part was. When it all ended, they like...

Gave us tortillas and like just baked beans. It was like, what the fuck is this? You remember the meal? Dude, I do because I'm like, this meal is about to be cracking. And they just served up tortillas and baked beans. Well, why do this with children? I thought the whole thing with children is they have to be nourished. Well, we were teenagers. Yeah.

we were teenagers children right we were like like probably what 13 or 14 or something like that 12 very much children's yeah that's a youthful energy but that's mad youthful right there 13 right yeah what's up dude fuck you i smoke weed i smoke cigarettes i've been smoking for years i'm kyle yeah you better believe it yeah kyle is definitely token hey what's up it's me kyle

That was the hard part about the fast too is they would lock you in and I would not know how I would go fucking smoke. I would have to sneak out to go smoke. That was hella hard. You reminded me of that. Right. And then there'd be another Jesus guy out there smoking to be like, because it's all planned. Yeah. He goes, it's okay, man. We can smoke together. You know what's really smoking? This book, the Bible. What?

It's true. That definitely goes down. They're like, I won't tell. And he's definitely doing Ace Ventura, the mask impressions when he's saying, you know what else is smoking? Smoking.

Hey, this will hook them. And you're like, oh, shit. You want to get them thinking about the Lord and getting their money? This will hook them. Somebody stop me from reading another verse of the Bible. You can't do it. You can't do it. So back to the Jane and Owen. The Jane and the Owen. No.

What about it? Which part? We were doing so good. On this sleepover, were you guys Jayden and Owen in your sleeping bags? I don't think it got to that point, actually. Well, you both mentioned it. When did it not? I mean, that's the thing. Okay, here we go. Yep.

Blake, you're telling us the Ridge wasn't out. But I remember it was co-ed. I think it was co-ed. And I think there was some chicks that we were digging on too. It always was to lure you in. You were like, cool, I'm going to sleep over with girls. And then at midnight they go, girls, we're locking you all in here. Boys, you're going to be all in here jacking off together.

Right, right. But I think it was like you would connect and be like, okay, meet me in this secret hallway with a girl at this time. And then you would go kiss. And then you never did. No, I think you'd go kiss. Wait, you think or you remember? Not after the lockdown, though. No, you'd go kiss. You would kiss. This is what happened at church, bro. How are you pronouncing it?

Hey, so Kyle, did this happen? Yeah, did this happen, Kyle? Did this happen or are you making it up? No, this happened. This is what went down. Yeah, I kissed somebody. And what was his name? No, it was a girl. It was on the other side. Okay, so it seems like a made-up story. It's a girl we had to meet in the hallway. Oh, yeah, the hallway. There's no hallways in church. No, actually, I am kind of remembering this because you know how Kyle isn't really a gamer because I was fully just golden eyed.

I had no other vision other than I'm horrible. I'm horrible at that shit too. I need more goldfish to eat stat. I'm like, no, being odd job, that's cheating. And then Kyle's out in the hallway by the, I think it was by like the water fountain. I snuck in a jolt cola. I'm,

never going to sleep. You would sneak out and like go smoke Siggy's. It all comes back to that because these girls like smoking Siggy's too. Kyle was the bad boy. Dude, Kyle's like smoking, fucking giving out tattoos to people. Playing Mario Kart. Yeah. Yeah, throwing his Hep C all about. You would like do acid and like kill homeless people. Yeah. Right? This was a church thing, right? This is what you did at those things.

We all mature at different ages. That's mature for you? True that. Yeah, you were definitely all about that. I was horrible at GoldenEye. I was a late bloomer too, Blake. Yeah, I'm glad I had those years. Yeah. I'm glad I had those decades. What did you say? I thought you said fears. I'm glad I feared women. Yeah. I'm glad I fear women. A healthy fear of women. That's not going to manifest in a weird way later.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very shagadelic. I love it, baby. Yeah, baby. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Right.

Have it all in the heart of it all. Launch your search at callohiohome.com. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or therapy day. When your schedule is packed like mine with kids' activities, big work projects, and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it.

it. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. I know for me, therapy has been great for learning good coping skills and how to better communicate with my wife. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself every day. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be easy, flexible, and

and fit to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash thisistoday to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash thisis.

Hey, guys. We here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And, of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip vegetables

veggies or crackers in it to snack on. Enhance your guacamole with it. Make a creamy pasta alfredo or even buffalo chicken dip. The recipes are endless. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it, baby. Mac and cheese, ramen, frosting, tzatziki. Now you can make it so much creamier. With so many unique recipes, how could you go wrong?

wrong and yes you could find a ton of recipes on the philadelphia website visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home

You know what's not a joke anymore? Boost Mobile. I know what you're thinking. Don't they sell burner phones? Yes. The answer is yes. But now, they also have a legit nationwide 5G network. Boost Mobile's a major freaking player, right up there with Verizon and T-Mobile. Boost Mobile has coverage across 99% of America now, and they're not...

I repeat, they are not a joke anymore, guys. Seriously. Okay, laugh all you want, but Boost Mobile's offering unlimited talk, text, and data for just $25 a month forever. Yeah. Laugh all the way to the bank, guys. Boost Mobile network includes roaming coverage from partner networks, which cover 99% of the U.S. population. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

Those sleepaway camps, like church lock-ins and stuff, were always the horniest places in the goddamn world. I'm telling you, dude, this is real. Adam, I got a weird feeling that wherever you were, it was pretty horny.

You know? Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, but I was much like Blake. I was much like Blake where even though I wanted to chop up the girls, I also was- Chop up? What? Wait, what? Chop it up with them. You know how girls had a healthy fear of me? I wanted to burn them. Uh-huh.

Holy mackerel. Did you mean chop it up? Chop it up. Chat with them. First I shave them. Then I lick their bodies completely and chop them up. I wanted to chop up girls too.

too. Instead, I chopped up small rodents. Of course. Yes. We used to eat mice tails, for sure. We all know this. Yeah, we dissected the neighbor's cat. Dissected. We kept it alive as long as possible. Uh-huh.

So you wanted to chop up girls just like me. So, yes, I wanted to chat them up. Chop up a conversation. Jennifer Lopez, the cell. Go ahead. Chop it up with them. You wanted to chop it up with them. Yes. You guys got what I was trying to say. I just wanted to say it. E40 slaying.

Freudian slip. But I, once again, I think I was also way hornier than Blake too. Like I didn't want to just play the video games. Should we do comps here? I wanted to talk with the girls, but I was also crippled during this time of my life.

my life. So at this time, the girls didn't want to make out or smoke cigs with the kid in the wheelchair. It was hard to sneak out and do that stuff. So what would happen is my buddy, Ryan, would come in and he would always stick his fingers in my face.

Your face. That was his charity, his make a wish. You're like, just let me smell. Yeah, I think it was. I know I didn't want to smell. I wasn't like trying to smell, but he would always come up and be like, not bad. No, I actually thought it was way gross smelling.

Until later. Well, how long have you been sitting on his fingers? Because it was up his own ass. Yeah, well, that could be. For sure. This is an episode of Workaholics where Kyle puts his fingers in his butt and makes me smell them, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. What was that episode? God, that is so gross. The Darkness, right? Yeah, and you smell them and you're like, it actually smells good. I'm going to say, psych. That shit was in my butt.

And then you have a nice line flub that we just ended the episode on. Oh, a power through line flubs, baby. The darkness. That was named after a girl that lived in our apartment complex. Do you remember that? The darkness? The darkness? Yeah. She was just a hot emo girl, right? That was the thing? She was not really that hot. A girl. She was a girl, though. But she was a girl. Right. Emo. She was a girl. And what?

would wear all, all black. She was a fun, but she was a party animal. She was fun. Yeah. She was cool. Yeah. Uh, and we called her the darkness and I always thought that was a fun name. She had really obviously like, um, dyed hair. Her hair was definitely. Oh yeah. It was, it was so obvious. Yeah.

It was so black, it was like almost purple. You know how when they dye it, it's too dark? Yes. She looked like a raven. Yeah, hence the darkness. The raven, right. The darkness. Dark eyeliner. We could call her a raven, but that's Adam's IMDB name, so it was already taken. That's a raven.

That's so Raven. Damn. It's time to revisit that one. Yeah, dude. Guys, I have an announcement. Oh, shit. What up? Wait, hold on. Blake, hit us with something. What do we got? What do we got?

COVID positive over here. No! Oh! Tosty! Wake up! Yeah. Why? Because we're in the middle of a pandemic. Finally got me. Kyle, you've not had it, right? I have not had it, no. Well, not that I know of. That's crazy, dude. That's so crazy. That is insane. Blake, you have it? Have had it? I got it on the Super Bowl. Yes, I had it. You can hear, it was when we were all separated. At the Super Bowl? No, no, I didn't get to go because...

You got the long haul.

I got it right before the Super Bowl. I was hoping to go to it, but instead I just sat at home and fucking cried. And Adam's well documented to have it. Adam has it three times. Are you three or two times? I'm two. I very much was expecting to get it in Italy because we had finished each time I got it, it was at the very end of a production. And then I got it that next week. When your body is like fully

Because as we've said before on the show, it's like when you do these productions, you're working 14 hours a day and you just wear yourself down. And by the end of it, you end up getting sick somehow. Yeah, because you're putting up your defenses the whole time you're going because you're trying to push past all the fucking exhaustion. Yeah. Yeah, your dukes are up. Your dukes are up. Yeah, the whole time, dukes are up. Your dukes are huge. And then we got to Italy and I was kind of crossing my fingers. I'm like, fuck.

It'd be kind of sick to get it here because we had like a really sweet room. I'm like, I'd hole up in this fucking pad for two weeks. Just eat nice pasta, drink some happy spritz. That's the way to do a honeymoon. Yeah. But didn't get it. So yeah, I'm twice. Has anybody got it? I would love to have some like incorrect information. Has anybody ever got it three times? Is it possible? Or is COVID a two and done? Absolutely.

For sure you can get it three times. I've never met a three-time gangster. I've met a three-time gangster. Damn. They got the very, very first wave. Mm-hmm.

Like before that we even really knew what COVID was. It was like those first few weeks. So tight. Right. And then they got Delta and then they got the first Omicron. Who's got the, so Durst, do you have the .BA2 or what's up, bro? What do you got, baby? I don't know. I don't know what I have. I assume I have the one that like doesn't really matter because all I've had is just kind of like. It doesn't matter.

48 hours of like a little cough other than that wait when did you get it what day are we on because we're supposed to like go have a barbecue yeah I know I'm gonna test on Thursday to see if that's still on otherwise perfect and I gotta see who else in my family gets it they've been testing and yeah damn dude because you just went on that batch party that's where you got it from huh

Oh, you got it in Vegas. Yeah, yeah. Vegas. Vegas, baby. Damn. You got a Vegas baby. What happens in Vegas gives you COVID. Well, even if you're not doing it or if you are, I'm still coming down to L.A. for a couple weeks and leaving on Friday. Coming down. You want COVID?

Yeah, I'd love it. I'll be over first thing on Friday right when we land. But I actually was thinking like, dude, should we get together and do a fucking in-person pod? Is everybody like... Oh my God! I know normally we talk about this off whatever, but like

Should we do this? I'm going to be down there. Let's fucking get together and pot it up. Sure. That'd be a fucking sick butthole, dude. Fine. If you're going to make me, fine. Yeah. Yeah. I'm kind of doing that right now. Let's do it at the barbecue. Oh, my God. We'll just take the first hour and hang out. Let's just test different new chip flavors and stuff. That'll be fun to do in person. Yeah. I'd be down for that. Shut up, bitch. Producers, have we talked about doing anything in person before?

I feel like we've talked about like smelling each other's butts or something like that. We can smell Adam's jizz for sure. Oh, I for sure will bring it. I will bring a jar of my jizz and let everyone smell it. No, it needs to be fresh.

Well, I'll do it in the car. I'm not saying I'm not going to keep it for a long time. Not in the car. You're going to walk out of the podcast and you're going to walk back in. You got to do it at a church lock-in and then come straight to my house. Yeah. I'll go to my nearest church lock-in and...

Hit up a sleeping bag. Oh, I drunkenly crashed a prom the other night. I thought you were going to say crash your car. What a bummer. Fuck it. Where? What prom? It was in Newport. It was like I just got back and we were taking the boat out and me and Zach and Chelsea, our good friends, and Chloe were...

taking a little Delphi about. And then we stopped in and saw that there was a party. And they're getting married at this venue that we saw from the water. Who's that? Zach and Chelsea. Zach and Chelsea. Oh, copy. And so we were like, oh, there's a wedding happening right now. Let's go look to see how they did it. We were very drunk. And we were like, man. Let's see how. Kids of Guinness.

married so young now you're driving the boat right was driving the boat they're getting married so young nowadays and then we walk inside and then it was just like you know it's a high it was a high school yeah

That's pretty cool. Did you dance? Did you dance about a little bit? No, it became like a little bit of a photo booth where I'm just taking photos with a ton of kids in sparkly dresses. And then I was – Chelsea, who is going to be the bride in like a week and a half, was like, we have to get the fuck out of here. I don't want to get COVID. And I'm like, that's probably a good call. I'm like, I forgot that that still exists.

I hate COVID. When you're getting, when you crash a high school prom and you're with other people and you start taking photos, don't you go like, okay, I'm going to

I'm going to go leave. No, he was drunk. I was ready to throw down. Yeah, no, it all happened. We were in and out within five, ten minutes. It was a very quick turnaround. There was no, like, dancing, Adam doing this, and then going into the splits. The tornado? No.

Yeah. No, I didn't get to bust out the tornado. It was right at the end. People were sort of starting to filter out. I think they were just wrapping up. Right. They were going to drink vodka and Snapple bottles. Yeah, they were. They were going to fuck up some hypnotic and shit. Yeah, they were. It also reeked of weed. I was like, there's some bad boys in this crew smoking weed at the prom. That's bold. Yeah. It's legal here. How old do you have to be to smoke weed? Is it 18 or 21? It's 21. It's got to be 21.

Oh, really? Yeah, I believe so. That sucks. I'm sorry to all the 19 and 20-year-olds out there. Yeah, you can sign up for the army and get murdered, but you can't light up a dube. Wow, you can give your life for the flag, but you can't smoke a doobie. You said it. God damn. Yeah, that is a whack-a-doodle. Okay, let's reevaluate that one. Here's my question. If Trump wins in 2024... Okay.

And does these two things. Here he goes, polycharge. What do you think he'd have? He comes back and he reverses the drinking and smoking age to 18 nationally. Okay, that does nothing for me. Yeah, that would do zero for me. Yeah, I'd be actually pissed.

But don't you think that's fucking rad? I do think it's actually fucking rad. I would want some retroactive stuff because I miss that vote. If you're going for the young vote and you change it to 18, aren't you going to win in a landslide, right? Yeah. Well, for sure he's doing that then. And then what if he also changed the... He went to the metric system and everybody was like, oh, fuck. Nah, that's some British shit. I know, but that's what I'm saying is it would be very confusing if he did it.

Oh, dude, I was so confused. Wait, what is this hypothetical? He changes the drinking smoking age to 18 and transfers us to the metric system. So if you're a kid, you're kind of stoked, but then you're also like, I don't know how many liters goes into my gas tank. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm so fucking confused. I don't think kids would give a fuck about the metric system. I'm not talking about the kids. I feel like the people... I would say if Joe Biden said we're going to change it to the metric system, civil war would start, right? But if Trump did it... You're not that guy, pal. Trust me. Everyone would just be like...

Do we like this? Is this cool? Okay. He's right. We do want it. It is better. Is it? Because the metric system fucking rocks. It's so much simpler. Dude, it's so much simpler. Is it? Yes. It's tens and hundreds. It's points. It's 0.0, 0.1. It's very simple. It's so good. I guess. The fucking bomb. Why is it so good? I just dealt with it. Because it's easy. I just dealt with it for three plus months. Yeah.

I didn't really like it. Are you dealing with quartz? Thank you, Adam, for standing up for our system, whatever it's called. Wait, but what the fuck do you actually, but do you have a dog in the race? Do you actually care if about inches versus centimeters? Does he have a dog in the race? As much as you do. I'm talking, I'd rather talk about inches than talk about quarter centimeters. What are you measuring? No,

No, I, well, for me, I was like, what are you measuring? What are you cooking? And what are you doing that where this affects your life? I was, it was gas. It was gas, gasoline gallons. Well, I kept going past the, the, the gas stations and I'm going, God damn gas is cheap as fuck here. It was like a dollar 70 more expensive though. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and I'm like, this is cheap as shit, dude. Uh,

And then I found out it's courts. Right. Oh, shit. Courts. Or leaders. It's actually leaders. It's leaders. The court is a part of... Yeah, it's leaders. And I think it's like three leaders. So yes, Adam, if you don't know that something...

You're right about that. If you haven't thought one second about it, it's a little confusing. Because quartz and pints are a part of the gallon system, right? Which is not leaders. The gallon system. Whatever that system is. Are we the only people that use gallons? I think so. I think the inches and the gallons...

The fishers and the hemis? Yeah, and the inches and the miles. And the miles and the boogers. That shit's important. And the hemis. It's fucking millimeter, centimeter, meter, kilometer. Like that shit, it's fucking good. Yeah. All right. Let's quit acting like we even need to know this shit, dude. Who gives a shit? No, dude. I know an inch is 2.54 centimeters. Get at me. Get at me. Hang on. I can tell you what it is. I know what six inches is.

Yeah, think about if you measured your dick in... Fifteen quarter inches? If you measured your dick in centimeters, you'd have a bigger number, baby. How big is my dick in the metrics? That's true. Adam, where are you at now? You'd have a bigger number. I might have came around on it.

Did you also know that I spent that time in Germany? I knew. Yes. Well documented. I thought everyone was going to be driving on the right-hand side. But only England does that shit. That's right. Only British. Oh, really? Yes. Well, I think British and then some Asian countries do it too, right? Yeah, Japan. Yeah. Really? Is that right?

I thought everybody did that and I've been to Italy. No, they don't do that in Italy. Italy is on our side of the road or on the same side. Yeah, on the right side. Yes. Wait, Germany is on the right side. Yes. Wow. Why do they even do that? Where did that happen? I think it was

But you're also talking about the steering wheel on the other side, too. Some king said, this is the way it's got to be. And then in the United States, we just said, we're going to do whatever the fucking is the opposite of the king. Like, fuck it. We're driving on the other side. You could suck our dick. Well, they didn't have cars back then, Playboy. Playboy.

Bro, bro, bro, this was way before Cars Homeboy. Yes, but it was horse and buggy. It was Wells Fargo day, you bitch. You wouldn't even know. Your grandma was by the fucking river, bro. She didn't even have a carriage, okay? She was walking. And no brassieres. And I'm not shaving my pits. Hold up.

None of them were, right? Yeah, they didn't have razors. They didn't have fucking razors. When did women start shaming armpits? 50s. It's pretty great. 20s. It's a good look. 20s, 30s, 50s, whenever they started selling razors. Say every decade. I think it was during World War I when the men went away, the razor companies invented shaving body hair for women, right? To make money. Is that right? I mean, that's a great guess. I think that was the whole thing.

They were just like, hey, while your dudes are away, just start shaving your body. Why not? And then should we talk about this? What? At what point in the 90s did it become – No, I'm sorry. What point in the 90s and was it because of porno that women were like, now we got to shave our pussies?

Let's go. We got to pass. We got to shave. Yep. Thank you, Ders. Thank you. But honestly, that's super recent. Thank you. That's very, very recent. Thank you, Ders. No, you're right. You're right. If you talk to anybody 10 years older than us, they're like, guess what, man? I mean, I think David Spade even went into it on his stand-up special where he's like, when I was in high school, it was like an airbag went off in a chick's underwear because it was just like poof.

Right. But that's like, that's new. It's crazy. Yeah. Well, yeah. When you speak of like society in general, yeah, it is a new phenomenon. Cause we're like, when did they start shaving their legs? Like, well, we have our own thing. That happened on our watch. This is in the cat Williams special. Yeah. That's on our watch. Thank you, Adam. Yeah. Thank you.

Our generation did that. The greatest generation. The greatest generation. And what the fuck happened?

What was the thing? What was it like? This is kind of what you got to do now. It's shame, bro. It's shame in body hair. That started in the 20s when they started. That's what they're saying. Like they started. Who's that? Is this in the comment? This is in the comments. It's saying in the 1920s, sleeveless women dresses were increasingly becoming more popular. Fashion. Thank God. It's science. Fashion was the first instance that made women begin shaving their hair.

Thus, removing the hair under arms became a priority. This is like an ad read. This is crazy. Oh.

It is. That was better than I had to read, though. So they were shaving their arms. But the thing is, like, now they don't shave their arms at all, as far as I know. Well, now they're going back. Because why would you? Now they're going back to be like, why? Because it was just for sales, right? It was just they sold razors. So they said, you need to do it.

And then everybody felt like they had to. So then everybody did it. And now it's, and then it transferred to the vaginas and then it kept going. It's like a virus. It's, you know, I mean, I feel like for the most part, uh,

it's sexier. But that's the whole thing. To have the hair or what? It's preference. You were programmed to think that. For less hair, just because, you know, if you're down there, if you're looking, I feel like maybe there wasn't a lot of... If you're licking and licking? You're not that guy, pal. Trust me. If there's not a lot of...

cunnilingus back in the 20s. I bet maybe they really started winning. Well, that's true. Dude, haven't you ever seen Deadwood? They were eating box all day out there. Were they? Okay, but they're getting hairs all in their mouth during the Wells Fargo days.

You know during the Wells Fargo days Yeah but they didn't give a fuck Why did we start caring There is a certain amount of sexual hygiene That can be you know that I think we should uphold I know Kyle shaves his nutsack You're gonna be the poster boy for that Oh boy

This is where we find out Kyle's been waxing his asshole. Although I did say I would get my butthole lasered if we went three seasons of Workaholics. Yeah, what happened there? I don't know. I guess... You got scared. The dream died. You let the dream die. I got busy. I got too busy. I'm not that guy, pal. Hey, it's never too late. When we're live and in person, can you be lasering your butthole when we do our live pod?

And we'd be right there with you. No, when we do a live tour and we're at the Fillmore in Detroit and I want Durs to get his butthole lasered on stage. Like a curtain, but I'm just like out of a curtain. Yes, that'd be so great. Like those videos we know. Oh my God. Where it's just like, you can't see behind me, but I'm like.

And you hear it. We have it mic'd up. For people listening, I made a face that you'll never see. This guy got COVID. Anytime you hear the zzz, that's when it gets to hair. So it's just zzz. How long is that process? It's chopping a forest now. For me, it's not that long. I'm not a hairy guy. But how long is it to get your eyes lasered? What is that process? It's 15 minutes. Damn, in and out. To get LASIK? Does it work?

No. Doesn't it not work? Isn't it shit? No. What do you mean? No, it works great. Isn't early LASIK shit? You're shit. Did you have to redo your LASIK? Of course I did. So?

Yeah, of course I did. Why? I think 10 years later I had to do it and I'm creeping up on 10 more years. So we'll see. Right. But that seems like a proper amount of time to be able to see. Yeah, it's a great deal to just cook parts of your eyeball off so you can see better. Yeah. Yeah. No way. I'm not scared of that really. It feels like it's such a normal procedure that I think. I wonder if you can get both done at the same time. Wait, you did one? Did you only get one?

No, no, I'm sorry. Laser your eyes and your asshole. And your asshole, yeah. That's called the cat dog, baby. What? I feel like I know exactly why and I don't at the same time. Was it cat dog? You had a cat on one side and a dog on the other side? Yeah, that's right. I'm here for a cat dog. Right this way, sir. Come through this curtain. Put your head through this curtain. Come right over here. They put you between. It looks like...

It was like a James Bond movie back there. So doctor, are you the upfront or a down bottom? I'm down bottom boy. The doctors are, you can tell the difference like right away. Like you're the butthole guy and you're the butthole guy. He's here for the butthole for sure. Dude, I was thinking about this today. What? Like the fact that do like, okay, what are for decades for years, hundreds of years, maybe there were dude gynecologists. Like,

Like, how? What the fuck was that? There still is, right? Of course there are. But by and large, if you're a woman at this point, there are thousands of female gynecologists. You're going to go see them for sure over some guy. That is fucking nuts, Durs. But can you imagine being in med school and being like, so what are you going to do? Podiatrist. I'm going to be a doctor for kids. Pediatrician. Pediatrician. I'm a gynecologist. Pediatrician.

Yeah, or is it like a... It's always got to be like, of course he's going to be a gynecologist. Or were you the guy who was like, I'm a good dude. I got to do this or some other creep's going to do it. That is a great question. Like, how did that work? Eight out of ten were creeps. There's two out of those ten that were the good dudes. Right, yes.

But I would say 8 out of 10. If that's what you go. Also, to me, that sounds like the worst because that would be disgusting. You see the worst of the worst. You're not looking at the cream of the crop. No, but yes, you are.

Well, sure, but you're also looking at literal cream of the crop. Of some crop. Oh, wow. But guess what? That might be somebody's thing. Hachi machi. What was it? Blue waffles or whatever? Popo chow! Yeah, you are seeing some blue waffles up in the business. It's just a fucking weird thing to be like...

I'm going to be a gynecologist. Yeah, that is super wild. Dude, that's a great question. Yeah, that's nuts, dude. There was no women in like med school. You know, next time you come here, you might want to, I don't know, shave that thing. That's what happened. Yeah, and he's selling razors. How many doctors go like...

I guess, I don't know, because there's no way I would ever be a doctor because I'm dumb as fuck, but do you go into the medical school being like, I want to be this kind of doctor, or do you study and you see what tests you're excelling at? I'm sure it's case by case. And this dude's like, wow, I'm really knowledgeable about the vagina. I can just remember the parts very well. I've just got a knack for poontang.

Yeah, I don't know. I was just thinking because of the end of Animal House, it says what they're doing in Otter. It says, like, gynecologist, Beverly Hills, California. And it's like, because he's got it made. And you're like, well, creepy. Right. Okay. But also looking back, I'm like, yeah, I guess he is the kind of guy that would do that. We're seeing in the chat that you do rotations during med school. And this is interesting stuff.

You've really got a knack for vagina, Clark. And then you do residency and you figure out what you specialize in on your third or fourth year of med school. Then you start to specialize. Oh, you know what it is? Here's the red flag. I did not know that. I bet this is the red flag where the guy who's – he won't stop talking about how he's like, I just feel like I'm good at the gynecology stuff. They're like – Okay. You know what? I think we're going to have you on dermatology. Yeah.

You're going to stick with broken arms. The ripping and the tearing. Any guy who keeps talking about how they're just like, yeah, I don't know what to do. I just feel like I was born to do this. It's weird. I'm just excelling at this. It's crazy. Why don't you come over here and look at this brain real quick. Yeah, brain's right. Brain looks good. Brain's right. Brain looks good, Chuck. Looks good, man. Melted. Melted.

Hi.

Hey guys, we here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese. It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. Yeah, it truly makes everything creamier. And of course, it can be used in so much more than our classic bagel and cream cheese. You can use it in a variety of recipes, occasions, and even as a perfect snack. For example, you can dip this bagel in cream cheese.

or crackers in it to snack on. Enhance your guacamole with it, make a creamy pasta alfredo, or even buffalo chicken dip. The recipes are endless. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it, baby. Mac and cheese, ramen, frosting, tzatziki. Now you can make it so much creamier. With so many unique recipes, how could you go wrong?

And yes, you can find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home.

Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network with coverage across 99% of America. The problem is, no one takes them seriously... yet. So they've tasked me, a comedian, with convincing all you people out there that Boost Mobile is a serious 5G network. Time to put on my serious voice. Boost Mobile is serious, guys. So...

So freaking serious. So serious that they're offering unlimited talk, text, and data for just $25 a month forever. Oh, are you taking me seriously? Because Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network, and I'm being serious. This is serious talk. The Boost Mobile network includes roaming coverage from partner networks, which cover 99% of the U.S. population. After 30 gigabytes...

Customers may experience slower speed. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. Are you catching the big game or making big mods? Going on that first date or installing that first break kit?

binging that news show or watching install videos when you're a real car lover the choice is obvious ebay motors has you covered with over 122 million parts to fit your number one ride or die brake kits turbochargers led headlights exhaust kits bumpers roof racks and engines

Whether you're into speed, power, or style, eBay Motors has all the parts you need for the ride you love. Plus, at these prices, you're burning rubber, not cash. And with eBay Guaranteed Fit, your part is guaranteed to fit your ride every time or your money back. Keep your ride or die alive at ebaymotors.com. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply. ♪ music playing ♪

What kind of doctors do you think we would be? Kyle, what do you think you would get in? I think I know what I would like to be. I'm orthopedic. I said spine ecologist. Right off the top of the dome, I'm orthopedic. Your feet? Yeah, man. Oh, that's tight. Orthopedic is not feet, is it? Orthopedic is bones. It's bones. Oh, yeah, you're a podiatrist. And that is what I believe I would be an orthopedic surgeon as well, just because of all my knee surgeries, I think I would...

You would have been drawn to it or something. All the orthopedic guys are tight. They're like the jocks, the dumb jocks of the medical profession. Right. Yeah. That is true. All those OC orthopedic surgeons. Yeah. Yeah. My buddy Bill was telling me about...

the guy who gave him a new neck bone or something like that. He was like... I'll give you a bone. He's just a super handsome bro who pulled up in a Ferrari, worked on him for two hours, and was like... with the gloves, and then just peaced out to go golf. And I assume...

Fuck hella chicks in the sand trap. They must have the most custom license plates, like bones with a Z. They must. They have to. Dr. Bone. Big bone. Surgeon. S-I-R-G-I-N. The bone collector. Yeah, yeah. Dude, so the boat that I bought during the pandemic, the name of it, because you know how every boat is named? Yeah.

It's called Good Bones because it was an orthopedic surgeon. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. See? Blake, you're on to something. Bone zone. Blake, you're going... Are you saying orthopedic or... What are you saying? You're a podiatrist, right? Is that what you were saying? How did you know I meant the foot doctor?

Did you mean the foot doctor? Yeah, I did. Because, you know, I have a feeling that that is like the lowest of the low. Like they aren't respected, right? Yeah. Why? There's a ton of bones in the feet. I don't disagree. But we're not talking about bones anymore. We're just talking about feet, period. Yeah. You're obsessed with bones. You're obsessed with bones. Dude, you should be an ortho. No, that's pretty cool, actually. There's a lot of bones in there. There's tons of bones in the feet, my friend. Oh.

I would love to talk to you about feet someday. Why feet, Blake? Are you... I can see Blake being like a weird little feet guy. You like to suck toes? What's going on over there? What's up? Toe jamming around. I don't know that I like it. I don't mind.

Like, that doesn't bother me. Oh, okay. Fucking toast. All right. I don't know. Wait, hold on. You said you don't know if you like it, but it doesn't bother you. What's the deal? What's up, brother? And you went there. I just, like, I'm a very generous lover. Like, whatever you ask of me, I shall. What?

I can get behind that. I think that's a very noble answer. Good job, bud. Yeah, I don't come in with like a checklist. You know what I mean? Right. It's just whatever happens, happens. I'm an improviser, you know? I think that's most people. Yeah. I think some people come with a checklist. Okay, brother. Check, please. Yeah, some people are just like, that's it. Okay, good. Later, other people are in it to play jazz. They're in it for the session. Yeah, we're a little jazz. We do the jazz. We do the business jazz.

The jazz jazz is, are the best, bro. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. We're jazz men over here at a, isn't it important? Adam just, Adam just renamed our podcast to, isn't it important? Isn't it important?

It's like a musical now. Isn't it important? Isn't it important? This dude's on musical vibes. That shit's important. Oh, he caught a tube. He didn't spit, though. I spit everywhere, dude. I spit everywhere.

It's all over my wife's phone. I got it. Isn't it important? COVID. Isn't it important? So Kyle, you're a child doctor? No, no, no. I think I'm looking at either brain surgery. Herbal remedies, if you know what I mean. Brain surgery. Last thing I want is you touching my brain, son of a bitch. Or dentist. All right.

That doesn't count. Yeah, what? Okay, then I'll do both. We're about to have dentists on our ass. No, dentists are doctors. That's true. Of course, of course. Do you have good teeth count?

No, horrible teeth. But I love them. Really? Yeah. Let me see your teeth up close. I always thought you had pretty good teeth. What's wrong with those? I mean, you look like the Violator from Spawn, but it's fine to me. Deep reference. This bro's teeth looks like Todd McFarland, Drew. What the fuck? Such a deep reference. That's a great one. This dude is smiling over here like John Leguizamo.

Yeah, no. Isn't it important? I always like when I go to the dentist. I like learning about it. Yeah, those teeth look fine. Yeah, I think they look good. I got to get Invisalign. For your bottom row? Yeah, I think they're going to have to pull one. Bitch, you got too many teeth in your mouth. They're going to pull one because it's all fucking crunched down there. I got the Will Ferrell bottom grill. I'm starting to have that same thing.

Up top, I used to have a gap in my teeth and now it's pushing in and there's no gap. And I'm afraid they're going to start to go, whoop. There goes your personality. My whole personality is gone. Yeah. Everyone's going to be like, look at that hot fucking dude who's not funny. Yeah. He's not funny anymore. Yeah. Where did his gap go? He used to be quirky.

He used to be a Gapman. I mean, Jamie Foxx got rid of his, so he's still funny. He had one? He had a Gap? Yeah. Then he got those Ninja Turtle dogs put in like me. Splinter. Yeah, but he's so sexy, though. It's true. With a hairline down to his eyeballs. That hairline keeps getting lower and lower every time I see that guy. What about you, Durs? What kind of doctor are you? What's your shit, bro? I'm the one they call Dr. Feelgood. Oh! Wow!

I'd probably be like a plastic surgeon that takes little burn victims and puts a face on them. Oh, shit. Oh, bear attacks? Yeah, but also titties, though. Let's not. Yeah, but also fake titties. Well, you got to pay the bills. I know I do only calf implants. Okay. No, I don't know. What would I be? I could see you specializing in something niche like that. It'd be fucking...

I mean, look, all I'll say is that laser eye surgery, the doctor who did mine in like 2003 originally had like a nice office. And then when I went back 10 years later, he had the fucking nicest office I've ever seen a doctor have in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive. And I was like,

Oh, this dude's been working. And all he does, I think it was like they only operate on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And he just does like 40 a day because they take 15 minutes. And he just goes back and forth, kills it. Oops, winning. And that's why we hope all the doctors get into the business is to make money. Not to help people. That's why they're into it now, dude. To save lives. That's what it is. Just to get that office back.

Get that office. Would you be an ER doctor, Kyle? Do you like that kind of rush? Ooh, dude. Yeah, I think I would like that. I think I would dig that. You'd be like the wacky. Adam would be Robin Williams with that nose on. Patch Adams. Yeah. Patch Adams. Damn, dude.

I would like to be like an ER doctor. Do they have ER doctors at children's hospitals? I think that would be very rewarding. That would be so scary. You have children's lives in your head. Right. You just see like blue kids coming in all the time. Yeah, but then you get to save kids' lives. Every day you get to be like, oh, yeah, some crazy shit happened. Hopefully. But the one you don't is going to haunt your nightmares. Ooh, cool pilot idea. Oh, shit. Cool pilot idea. You didn't save me. I'm going to...

be right here the whole time now. Oh, that's kind of tight. Yeah, I'm going to stick with the feet, dude. I'm going to stick with the foot. We know you will. We know you will.

Burning off warts and shit. Have you guys ever had a wart on your toes? I have, yes. Isn't that cool when you get the band-aid and you put it on and it kills the skin around it and then the wart just rolls off? Isn't this important? I used to have them on my dick. Any tape bags? Apologies. I guess we have reached that time. Wait, what did he just say?

I didn't hear anything. I'm going to have to go back. I'm going to listen back to whatever Adam just said. Can we turn that back up? You hit the 15-second back button on that. Yeah. Any take-backs, apologies, any... That's life! Epic slam.

What's he talking about? Something about a pronounced ridge. Something about that. Planters word on his nutsack. I guess I'll give a special shout out to Anders for enduring COVID and getting on the Zoom, man. You're a trooper, dude. That's huge. I mean, I'm here. I'm locked down in my office. There's a bed in here. I'm kind of locked down. You don't feel bad, huh?

No, I've been working out and doing my thing, trying to stay positive. I like that. Well, yeah, you want to get negative. Yeah, yeah. Positive is not the way to be. Oh, I'd be a COVID doctor. I guess I would be Dr. Fauci. Hey, okay. That's my guy. Dead ringer. If I can be anything, Dr. Ed Ringer.

Let's go. That's my dead ringer. Let's go. Oh, I like that one, Blake. Beautiful. You know what? Hey, guys, on a serious note, I'm glad it's not that bad, and I hope no one else catches it from me. On a very serious note. Yes. Thank you for being polycharged. Isn't this important? Isn't it important? Any takebacks? Yeah, I'm trying to think of takebacks. Did I say some dumb shit? Maybe you guys can... You guys said a lot of dumb shit, and I have it all written down right here, but I'm not going to tell you. Whoa.

What did I say that was super dumb? I may or may not have said some shit right at the end that I wish I could take back, but I'm not going to let it fly. Planters ward on your nutsack? Can I say something? During this whole... I mean, none of us can really grow a fantastic beard. Kyle, yours is fine, but like...

I'm glad none of us got caught up in that beard era that just happened the last five years where it's like so manicured. Do you know what I'm talking about? I want to shave my shit off. I'm sick of it. Well, what was the beard era? Did that go hand in hand with like craft beer? Yeah, that's kind of. Yeah, it did. Yeah. Yeah. It's a craft beard.

It's a craft beer. I think that's the only reason you said it. I feel like none of us got that deep into craft beers. So, you know, we couldn't. We couldn't. I think we've rid the line of like smoking weed and drinking beer the right way where we didn't like dive too deep into the actual like culture of it. So shout out to us for being great at

addict for being for being tourists yeah basically just tourists who don't get into anything and just want to stay drunk yeah i will stay drunk and stay high but uh but we're not gonna be too deep into the culture we don't we don't know how to know exactly how it's made or like i didn't grow dreads adam didn't grow a beard shout out to us that's my shout out i don't think i can grow a beard i honestly

Like a, like a bullsarian, but, but everyone, it's so weird. The groomed beards are fucked. I don't know, man. I hate it. I keep getting the Instagram, like groomed beards in my discoveries. You know why? Why? Why Blake?

We'll cover it on the next one. Next one of what? Isn't it important? I would like to give thanks for my group of friends who I'm hoping to see in person. I keep asking Blake to watch basketball. He keeps dodging me. I can't today, dude. My sister's going to come over to have dinner. I know. I asked him multiple times last week and nothing. Not a great playoffs.

No, really dog shit NBA playoffs this year. But do we think that whoever the matchup is going to be? I mean, it's... Well, who knows? The Warriors are going to win. Warriors are going to sweep, probably. From your mouth to God's ears. I thought Dallas was their biggest shot of getting knocked off, and they're just...

handling them. And I think no matter who wins the Celtics and Heat series, they're going to roll them. So congratulations, Blake. Celtics, right? You got another. Good for you. We can't hang out. And Blake, are you going to go to a game? We'll see. I'll put the feelers out for sure if it happens. Or maybe even put the money out, dude, and just go buy a ticket. Part of the feelers is money. Nobody goes for free.

Just don't overdraft, bro. Don't overdraft, homie. I'm good. I'm good for it. This is crazy. Maybe not, man. Just be cool about it. Check your shit. Check your shit before you click purchase, homeboy. Check your numbers. I've got to pull up to Van Nuys. All right, guys. That's another episode of... Visit to the Portage. Important. Hear that? Pumpkin.

That's fall calling. And the pumpkin spice latte is back at Starbucks. From that first sweater to late autumn weather, it's all a fall in just one sip. Order ahead on the Starbucks app.

Does money stress you out? Let Facet flip your financial chaos into clarity. We feel way more confident and secure in our finances. And with that comes a sense of freedom. Financial planning from Facet is here to help you improve your life today, tomorrow, and every day after that. Facet was really the place where we saw all of the tools and the people coming together. Visit facet.com, F-A-C-E-T.com to learn more. This ad is sponsored by Facet. Facet Wealth is an SEC-registered investment advisor. This is not an offer to buy or sell securities, nor is it investment, legal, or tax advice. These testimonials are from current Facet members who are not competent.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's a simple truth. No matter who you are, mental health challenges can affect you, and how you manage them can make all the difference. That's why everyone should have access to mental health support that meets them where they are and helps them get through. BetterHelp provides online therapy on your schedule. It's flexible, simple to use, and more affordable than in-person therapy. BetterHelp is a great way to get started.

Connect with a licensed therapist selected just for you. Learn more at BetterHelp.com. That's BetterHelp.com.

Hey guys, we here at This Is Important love Philadelphia cream cheese! It is extremely versatile and can be used to enhance any meal or snack. I love to use cream cheese on my bagels. I even dip pretzels in it. What? I know, I'm crazy. Yeah, dude, it's hella good. You gotta try it. With so many unique recipes...

How could you go wrong? And yes, you could find a ton of recipes on the Philadelphia website. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration so you can start adding Philadelphia cream cheese to your recipes at home.