106: Noah's Arc: The Story of Margarita-Man
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We got something fun on this that we just came up with off air. Gareth, take it away. Well, as the regular listeners know from previous episodes, I recently sang the national anthem at a Pioneer League baseball game. I...

had the Jake Johnson mentality of, or shall I say the Steve Berg mentality of, I got this. This is going to be a breeze. And then I went out there and I was starting to go, boy, I really thought I knew this by heart, which I do. But again, it's one thing to know it when someone else is singing it. It's another thing to know it when you're singing it.

I did get it all right, but I was noticing, you know, I'm not the greatest singer in the world. My background, my college degree is in theater, but not musical theater, so there is a blind spot there. So I was talking about that on the show. We had some people reach out. A bunch of people. A bunch of people reach out, and they've offered to assist. They literally said, we're willing to give Gareth free...

voice lessons over Zoom. Yes. And I recognize the blind spot. And so we're going to take these people up on this offer and

We're going to record every lesson. We're going to record every lesson. And unedit it. No, and edit it. We're not going to edit it, Gareth. It's got to be edited a little. No, it doesn't. I don't think we make it like a quick, you know... No, no, no. I mean, it could be 10, 15 minutes, but we don't want the raw session. Yes, I think we do. Just because...

But we'll put it on. Yeah, but we put I do. I think we do the unedited on Patreon. They get every lesson. They can watch what they want. And then we'll set a time and we won't set when we're going to do it until we know when you're all ready to start. Yes, but we'll give you however long you want a month, two weeks. And then when that time comes, we'll.

In one of our intros, we're going to do, we'll start up, you're going to sing the national anthem, and then we're going to get into the show. Yes. And then once that's done, the offer is out there for any sporting league that would like to give a mulligan to a man who wants to sing the national anthem. That's right.

You know what, actually? I got a connection to the Bakersfield Blaze. Ooh, I'm going to love Bakersfield. Eric Edelstein and I did a... We were announcers for a game. They gave us a couple innings in the booth.

I could reach out to my guy there and see if the end of this is not only on our show, but our show is The Practice, but then you go back and you do it with the plays. The audition. I think that... Yes, but either way, everybody on the Patreon, it's all going to be there. Sign up for that. Have some fun. If not, you're going to see the performance here when he's finally done and without. Further. Adieu. Adieu.

It's go time. Go time, baby. Show time, baby. This is what we do. This is our time. Our time, baby. Dude, this is fucking the big show. It's what we train for. It's what we train for, but also have fun. Yeah, but be yourself, but be better. Be yourself, but be better than them. I got your back out there. I got your back. I got your back. I got your back. What Eminem says, you got one moment. This is the moment. If we blow this. Mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti.

What does that mean? Go ahead. I've literally been doing this as long as I've never heard someone say mom's spaghetti before a show. Are we ready? Mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti. Callers joining now. Mom's spaghetti. All right. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to We're Here to Help. I'll do the intro because Jake's drinking water out of a protein shaker. We're excited to have you here. Can we get your name, age, where you're calling from, and any weird question for him, Jake?

Not yet. I'm still waking up. Okay. Yeah. All right. Marinate on that. I'm excited to be here. My name is Jackie. I'm 29, and I'm from St. Paul, Minnesota. I love St. Paul. Jackie, I have a question for you. When you hear the phrase mom's spaghetti, what do you think of? M&M. All right. And we're up. St. Paul, great town. Wait, hold on. Mom's spaghetti is an M&M reference? Yeah. Nice, Gareth. Yay.

I thought you were doing like a to sit in solemn silence kind of like an actor thing. No, like a... Mom's spaghetti. Yeah, like a red leather, yellow leather. Yes, that's what I thought. Mom's spaghetti. Spaghetti mom. Mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti. You know who's that? That's Steve Berg's. Mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti. Boy. Parmesan. Let's not even get into the idea of Steve doing a mom's spaghetti. You'd be like, buddy, Steve's spaghetti.

Stop. This is like old Yeller level sad. Mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti. Jackie, St. Paul 29. What can we do for you?

All right, so three summers ago, my friends and I, we joined a co-ed bar, volleyball league, just looking to have some fun. We've been in it for a couple of years, and we're starting to get the lay of the land with the teams and their different skill levels because every year it's the same team that are joining in. I will mention we're not very good. But all the teams are pretty, like, on the same scale. Like, on any given night, anybody is beatable, except for there's this one team

let's just refer to them as team Iceland from the mighty ducks too. And they only used to play in the fall league, but this year they're also in the summer league and they're so tall. It's a family. They're like all six, two, six, three, six, four. They're so good and scary. They've got four guys out there at all time and two women. And one of the women is,

is a D1 volleyball college player currently. And the other one cheats at rock, paper, scissors. So they always get to pick their side. Hold on. How does she cheat at rock, paper? She doesn't know that it's rock, paper, scissors, shoot. And she is always trying to go early and it confuses the other person. So they stutter. And I thought it was just us. And then I watched her do it two other nights, like two weeks in a row. So she starts to throw early. The other person does. She changes.

Exactly. Like you think she's like confused. So then you stop. Yeah, exactly. I just have to say the idea that someone's cheating at rock, paper, scissors by going too soon. Let me finish for you. It's a turnout. Nevermind. Okay. Take it away. Take it. I thought we were going in one direction, but let's go yours. I like James. All right. Okay. So that's a good setup. All right. So you're dealing with T-minus one from the Mighty Ducks too in your summer volleyball league. Okay.

Yes, people are literally ducking and shielding when this one guy is spiking because it's coming in so hard and so fast. You're afraid. We were losing like 20 to 4 and this guy's kicking the ball over to serve it.

because I don't know. And we got confused. It's again, misleading tactics. I was like, you guys get confused a lot over there. Am I crazy? A guy kicks a volleyball, you're lost. Someone goes too early on rock, paper, scissors, you're thwarted. So my other part of my question is how much weed should we, my other question is how much weed should we smoke before? Because right now it's just three joints. We're hotboxing a car. Should we do a van? Yeah.

So, Jackie. That was a problem. We had to outlaw that. We said nothing funny before the game. We're trying to win. Nothing funny is a good. That's a very Midwest way of putting it. And it's also a title.

For sure. Nothing funny. Nothing funny before the game. So, Jackie. How people describe the show. Shark. Ouchy. Wowchee. Yeah. I mean, the shark's biting, dude. The shark is biting. He's self-chumming. Okay. So, Jackie, this is a heck of a setup. We get it. What is the specific question we could try to help with today? Hmm.

My question is, how do I sabotage this team to make them want to quit the league so literally anyone else has a shot of winning? There's also money on the line. What do you mean money on the line? At the end of the league, there's playoffs, and if you win, you win money. Now, I don't know how much money. We've never even gotten close to the money, but it's there. So I'm just wondering, how do we set that? We want them out of the league. You're so far away from the money, you don't even know what the honeypot is.

No, but it's got to be good. Yeah, but Jackie, but this is tough because this is a family. So they're doing this as a small business. If there's money, even 500 bucks, they go, let's just dominate this league. We got D1. We're all giants. Let's just smoke these fools. So the only way to get rid of them, in my opinion, is...

you got to get the league together to ban them because you're not going to be able to beat them. This is interesting. I've already laid some – I've been planning seeds. I've been selling Discord. All right, well, walk us through everything you've had. Now, at the playoffs, they were just destroying everybody. So I was walking around just like, man, these guys are really tall. You know how tall they are? They are really good, and people are like, it's just the worst. We're already talking about it. So I planted seeds with about three other teams. They're on the same page. Like, this team has got to go.

Okay, so the seeds you're planting, you're just talking a little shit.

Yeah, exactly. Jackie, I'm I'm going to be honest, Jackie, you really do need our help. You're right. Your plans are not great. You're getting you're getting kicked around a little easily by someone going early in a game where going later is an advantage. By the way, fair. But you're what you're right in the sense that you need sabotage.

There is not a straightforward. You're not going to beat them. You're going to have to go montage old school style. Yeah, but this is hard, Gareth, because it is. Yeah. I mean, here's my question to you about the league before we start pitching. They're allowed in the league, correct? There's not like a rule of how good you could be or how bad you could be, correct?

No, there's also no height requirement. Right. So this is like an all are welcome and they just happen to be better. So there is a world of sabotaging, but let me just play devil's advocate because we're just sitting at a bar chatting. Sure. Aren't the Giants allowed to play? I mean, if I'm in a family side, well, I'm going to end up on Jackie's side, but I might have to walk a mile to go a block. Okay. But aren't Jackie. Thank you. Tap out.

Keys in the car. And sadly, I'm taking a break from jujitsu. What?

This is huge reveal. Are you calling the show? This is crazy. I have to for a couple of months. I have to for a couple of months. Why are you slipping your own hair to help Rob? This is intro banter. We're in Paul Town. I have to for a couple of months. Jake! You know why. I can't get hurt. You know why we can't get into it, but I can't get hurt. I can't get hurt.

What are you going to do with your little your little porn set in the garage where you have your little dummy and you're fake saved by the bell lockers? I'm going to continue what I've always done and then fuck him to romantic music. Back to you, Jackie. So my problem with this plan of getting them out of the league is that they have every right to be there in a great sports movie like a Mighty D's. You don't kick the team out. You beat the teams.

So are you actually in St. Paul? And the reason I say that is we might be doing a call to arms of people in St. Paul. And then what I'm going to pitch here a little bit is where are you actually playing these volleyball matches? I am actually in St. Paul and we're playing near St. Paul, Lake Elmo area. So here's, here's my pitch, Jackie. And it's a pitch that would need followups. Are there any, um,

retired D1 or better ringers in the area who want to show up for when you play this family. So a lot of your team, Jackie, take a step back that day.

And let these animals crush that family. And when it comes to the playoffs, you guys can play anybody. But whoever this team plays, those ringers jump in. And you go, hey, guys, if you want to come to the minor leagues and dominate, we'll bring the majors to the minors. Jackie, what Jake is pitching is what I'll call the space jam.

You need the talent of St. Paul to come to your side. And just for that match. Yes. I think that was on my list. I think that's a pretty good pitch. And again, something we can kind of help with. What do you think of that?

I think it's an amazing pitch, and I will note these people are really sore winners. So they do have – they can play in the league and they can be good, but they're so rude. If you're beating them, like, the people will insult you. They'll be like, you're a dick. Like, they've said that to our team. And we were winning, and we were like, here's a Cinderella story. Yeah, this is not, like, a nice –

little family who's out there for fun. They're out for blood. They're villains. They're villains. We don't like them. We're on your side, but yeah, we get that you really don't like them. So then here's what I think we have to do, because we could pitch some really weird boycott stuff, but

I honestly don't think that's right, Gareth, because at the end of the day, I don't think we can fight the system directly. I think you're right. I think we spaced. The only way to beat a bully is to beat the bully.

I don't think that's the phrase. That's right, but it's so close. But it's knocking on the door of being the expression, but it isn't it. But Jackie, just like what you're saying, the only way to eat the ham sandwich is to eat the ham sandwich. I'm 100% with you. These are both sayings. No. A mom's spaghetti belongs in baby boy's stomach. These are all the same sayings. If you want to sing that song, Gareth, you got to sing that song. Exactly right. And with that in mind, Gareth-

Sing a little Eminem mom spaghetti. Go mom spaghetti. Mom spaghetti. Mom spaghetti. Mom's paschetti. What? So, Jackie. Jackie, this is your moment. This is your moment. You got to live once. You're on the eight mile in Detroit. Yeah. By the way. Jackie, what do you think? Remember that time we walked eight mile on accident? We've talked about that. Yeah. In Detroit. Yes. We were like, well, what's next? Seven miles here. Oh, oh.

Hey, is that another gunshot? Yeah, we're like, we should go back. We didn't have shirts on either. Well, after you drink about a million beers in some dive bar, who needs a shirt? And sprint raced. Sprint raced. What idiots. Jackie, back to you to finish. You know what we're going to do if you're comfortable with it, and only if you're going to actually do it. But we'll have Caitlin on our social media send out a request for volleyball players in the area.

But if we get people, you need to get somebody on your team to step back for those games. Are you willing to champion that and get you guys some ringers in there? Because what we're building towards is a playoff game. We got to get you guys good enough into the playoffs. And then the playoff game against this family, it's all ringers.

And you guys are doing nothing but funny stuff before the game. You're eating popcorn, stoned off your ass, watching some real volleyball players kick this family's ass. I'm so down to clown. And I think everybody on the team would step back just to see that. So let's see if we can do it then. Let's see what this community can do. I think that's great. Honorable mention pitches that we never got to. You're playing at a bar, correct?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're in a bar league. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Volleyball. Yeah. But it's like they do it at the they do it at the bar. They all get hammered after fan volleyball. My ex stepmom used to do it. It's quite a scene. So I honorable mention pitch. You tell the bar that one of them stole a bottle of vodka. You saw it from behind the bar. Get a ban from the bar.

put cat poop on their side of the court. So they're stepping and mashing cat poop and maybe they get a little rattled. One that I think we can also incorporate is

for this match that you have against them when we do the ringers is let's try to get some fans turned out too with signs kind of play the mental game a little bit give you some numbers in the in the audience for the game it's great so we'll we'll go with the we'll go with two pronged approach yeah i'll go another one honorable manhood uh uncomfortably sexual grunts on your guys's side to throw because they're a family so it's like having a sex you have and what happened

They don't like it. It's good. That's good. Okay. Well, they don't like it like it made them worse, or they don't like it like it made them better? They're super easily rattled. Like, when they get rattled, they do get that. Oh, we're going to like it. That's good. Jackie, we're going to get them. Yeah, maybe we could also lean into that, and then you could, after the grunts, refer to each other as a family. So be like, oh, I like that daddy and brother, because they are dads, and they'll be like,

Ew. Yeah, or it's just a lot of like, oh, yeah, like just keep doing that. Or after each, after one of their wins, if they like win a point, you go like, yeah, brother just nailed sister. Yeah, yeah. So they have to go like, that's not what happened. She set me up. I didn't nail sister. And you go like, I meant it as a compliment. I slept with my stepmom. The families that play together sexually stay together non-sexually.

We have a porn site. So there is a world of just trying to make them not enjoy this league anymore. If they're a family, you could, you know, anything sexual be gross. Fans doing chants that are like highly inappropriate, that they're kind of like, this isn't worth it. In the end, we're making $800. It's making our family uncomfortable.

That's an approach. And they don't drink or have fun or anything. They're there for the money. Exactly. Yeah, it can't be worse. I have an idea, Gary, going off of that really fast. What about highly inappropriate uniforms for your team?

So that because I know if you're with your family and then all of a sudden there you're playing against the team and it's coed. Have the guys dress like Borat in those little outfits with their balls jiggling around girls and like just bikini where they're like, hey, man, we're a family. And you go, yeah, this is also a bar league. If you just become the team of thongs.

That could get quite distracting. And then with weird grunting sounds and chants. You know the baseball league, whatever it's called, the bananas or what are they called? Yeah, the bananas. What about after each point, win or loss, you guys do like a two-minute dance? So the team is like, they're ruining the league. This isn't volleyball. This is a show. And you go, it's called a bar league, you clowns. Go in a different league.

That is the thing that like athletes will do with like like in tennis, like they'll take an extra long amount of time to sort of get in the head. So if you guys almost had a sting, you dance to.

Like if you almost every point you won, you had the opening to eight mile play and you guys kind of did a bit of a choreographed moment that could also get. I think there's a win there for sure. Jackie, quick question. I played volleyball for six years. How is there? Such a mystery. The onion peels and the onion. Unbelievable. How is their back row? How is their. It's crazy. What a question. It's crazy.

So the men will definitely try to overtake the back row and they're trying to make sure like none of the women pass because I don't think they believe in their talent. So there's gaps like the back right corner. Great gap. Great. I would call that out that they aren't letting the women play as much as you can. Something our setter would do.

was he would point to people and go, surf to him, he's cold, he's bad. He would call out people a lot and get in their heads a lot. That's a Jake move.

Yeah, it's the baseball version of when you go up to bat and they go, step in, step in, you don't need anyone far out. You're like, I'm good though. I would say stay where you're at because I'm also the fine... I'm like everybody else. I'm fine. I'm fine. Then the first pitch, you're nowhere near it and you're like, I'm fully in my head. I'm rattled. This guy definitely had an effective strategy. Everybody in the outfield, come in the infield. Anyhow, that hurts my feelings in a real way. But it doesn't because I don't care. But it's also like...

Like, don't do that to me. I thought we were all kids kind of growing up, but I guess we're not. And then when you hit a pop-up and you think you nailed it, it goes to the shortstop, and it's perfectly positioned. You go like, good strategy against me. I'm weak. I hit one home run and tripped over home plate. Ha!

Because it was like I had to run it out. It wasn't like a given. I had to race to do it and tripped over home plate. Here's another embarrassing thing in terms of you. I played baseball my whole life into high school. I never hit a home run. Oh, man. It was all like singles and doubles and like gosling. Well, I think that's why when I hit the home run, I think that was the only one I hit. So I was like, I have to get this. Same. You lost. And then like the home plate has a little bit of elevation. Yeah.

Too much. We're so happy. Oh, too much for a chubby mulleted little weirdo. I miss that guy. He's coming back, buddy. Stop this. Jackie, we've given you a lot of suggestions. What do you want to do and what do you want us to do? Let's see what we got here.

Okay, I think they were all amazing suggestions. I think we're definitely going with the signs and the fans and the mental warfare on the court. I would love if you still wanted to put on a call for really tall, talented volleyball players in the St. Paul area that I could follow up with. That would be incredible. We will. I'd be down to do that. Okay, so we will put that out. And then will you do us a favor? And when's your next match?

So the fall season starts on Tuesday, so we'll get the schedule soon so we figure out what night, what week we play them. Will you film just your side of your behavior so we can post this along with like whatever you guys are doing to take away the competitive edge and turn it more into, again, what is that banana baseball league again? Savannah Bananas, right? Yeah. Savannah Bananas. Watch what they do.

Just Google them a little bit. And that's what you're turning this league into. And what we're trying to do is have the family go, look, we're a real volleyball family. We want to play volleyball. We might be in the wrong league. We want to. I think you're what you're saying is you want to give them the Eve Johnson POV, which is this is too wild. This is too wild. And guess what? There's other leagues. But these people are clowns. And you go, we quite literally are. It's a bar league.

We're here to smoke weed and hit a volleyball and get drunk. You sure are. So keep us posted, and we'll do that. We'll get you the ringers. We'll get you the fans. We'll get it ready. Thank you guys so much. Great call, Jackie. Appreciate you. Thank you. Bye. Say hi to your back line from Shark. Yep. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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code gil sent me hi how you doing i'm very well how are you doing great so how about your name what the problem is and then something about your personality or life that surprises garf

Whoa. Okay. Besides your problem. Hello, my name is Allison. I am calling from Glens Falls, New York. And a fun fact about myself, which is maybe the worst question in the world. What is this, a first date? I'm succeeding. I'm succeeding.

Well, I know the last one was shoe size and I don't want to do that because that's basic. So you listened today, Allison. We got a fun runner of additional Jake prize. You know me. I like to kick the can. I know, yeah. What's a fun fact, Allison? Pretend it's a first date and I just told the waiter, no, we won't be drinking. Oh, Christ. Something to drink? Not for us. On a first date, imagine. Well, that's when you say you got to go to the bathroom and you get a shot at the bar.

that's when you do that yeah exactly that's exactly you smell like tequila i took a piss yeah some guy handed me one okay allison what's the issue i feel like you don't want to give us a fun fact maybe that was i do but i'll say i'll do but i do but i i will think of one um so my issue is less about me and more about my poor husband um who i'm afraid um

He is obsessed with Margaritaville. The Jimmy Buffett restaurant Margaritaville. This is 100% real. What should we call Javi? Let's give him a name.

His name is Noah. Noah, okay, Noah. His name is Noah, and I'm okay with saying that out loud. Okay, of course. This isn't a brutal problem. We need to shame him. He brought this on. Hold on, hold on. I'm not a hater of Cheeseburger in Paradise, guys. All right, well, okay. I wouldn't eat either if it was good. Keep going, Allison. Is there more to this? Or is it as simple as... He's obsessed with Margaritaville.

And so we live in New York, the state of New York. And so we often go to New York City. We're both very big into theater and Broadway. And every time we go, he insists that we go to Margaritaville. Oh my God. And that's a restaurant in New York? Yes, it's a Buffett themed restaurant. It's like chain.

It's in Times Square. I mean, it's other places too, but we always go to the one in Times Square. And that was bad enough because it's terrible. But then it got worse because they opened up a Margaritaville location in Boston, which is unfortunately within driving distance. And we made a special trip to Boston to go to Margaritaville, Boston.

That's crazy. It was 10 in the morning. It was raining. It was 65 degrees, and he had a breakfast margarita. Okay, here's what's happening, just so you know what's happening in studio. I'm fully on board with your rage. Jake is trying to hold the line. Jake is trying to hold the line as much as possible. But I will say...

When you said a margarita at 10 a.m. in Boston, Jake, there was an acknowledgement. You're telling me you wouldn't like that if you weren't working and we were in a random city and I said margaritaville at 10 a.m.? If I was on the road and it was a day off and we're like, hey, we'll go to margaritaville. We'll wear Hawaiian shirts. Great. We're talking about a specific drive to go to a margaritaville. So, okay, Allison. So Gareth is wrong here. We didn't go anywhere else. So he likes this.

This is the setup. What is the specific question? Or unless there's more setup. And what's a fun fact about you? Drop that. Drop that. I'll take you to Margaritaville. I'm still ruminating on that one. Okay. No, the specific question is,

What do I do as a concerned wife and partner? Do I encourage this? Do I set boundaries? Do I enable? Because that's what I've been doing so far. I bought him a Margaritaville ball cap, which I had to get on Amazon because I couldn't find anywhere else, believe it or not.

So I have been enabling this. So you feel like this is an issue and you want it done? Yes. I need a conclusion. Let me, as full disclosure, allow me to just explain a little bit because I...

I hate the song Margaritaville. You do? Yeah. When I was in Boston, there's a, yes, just, just full, full candor. When I was in Boston going to college, I ended up getting a gig doing murder mystery boat cruises. Of course you did. Every Saturday. Nobody, nobody in the world is shocked. So every Saturday we would leave the Harbor for three hours. It was open bar. It was all you can eat. And these people from Boston would come on and just get shit canned. And I played a hippie character and,

And I was part of the murder mystery. And the big reveal. I'm probably in a thousand picks, but I don't have any. But the reveal of what happened at the murder was the Margaritaville song. So at the end of every cruise, we had to sing Margaritaville.

And it really did. I mean, I probably did. I probably did 150 of these. So you hate this song. There's a particular thing that runs through my body when I hear it. So I particularly hate it. That's why you're so hot about this. I really hate it. It's not because the Jimmy Buffett lifestyle is one of like, hey, let's chill. Smoke and weed in Key West, man. Yeah. I mean, he's a billionaire, but still. But yes, there is. Chill out on the beach. Smoke a joint, relax, it's great. Cheeseburger in paradise. What I love about.

about that is that my husband and I, my husband specifically loves murder mysteries as well. So I think that might be his ideal scenario to Boston. I bet you they still do them. Um, but okay. But back to you, I just wanted to explain why I have particular venom in that direction. Boy, what a weird. Yeah. So Alison, can we hear a little bit more about Noah and how this all began? I would love to tell you. So he watched a YouTube video

about these two guys who visited every Margaritaville in the United States and Canada. How long ago did he watch this? Probably about a year ago. He watched this video and absolutely was enamored with it. We got married in September, this past September. We were on our honeymoon and we got to the hotel and he was like, I need to rewind. I need to unwind and watch something.

our honeymoon the night of our honeymoon and he put on that video well you do need to rewind yeah what uh where was your honeymoon our honeymoon was in um los angeles we went to disneyland it was my first time and um he'd been there before but we spent the first day in los angeles we did actually go to the bar where they shot the first season of new girl and um prince

Yes, we did go to the print. Used to be my favorite bar before that show started. Scott Pimple used to go there. And then the thing happened. And I went back one night and I realized a few people asked me why I wasn't working. And I went like, okay, got it. This bar is no longer for the J-Man. Shout out to Pimple. We had a great time there. It's a great bar. But that was our first night of our honeymoon is he put on that video, which he'd already seen before and insisted on watching again. Can I?

Can I just do one more question, Gareth? Because we're starting to get a picture of Noah here. My guy. Yes. Love of my life. So you said love of your life. Is that what you said, Allison? Yes. You love this guy.

I do. Okay, good. It's nice to know. Was he into Jimmy Buffett before all this video? Was he like always a Buffett head, a parrot head? No. Literally, did it start at the YouTube video? It started with the YouTube video. Well, I guess I should back up a little further. He first watched a video about these two guys going to every rainforest cafe in the United States of Canada. And then he saw this second one.

He loves themes. He loves themes. He's a creative designer, loves theme parks, loves theming. And his big thing is that. So he, okay. So he likes, he, first of all, he likes videos of two guys going to restaurants. Yeah. The same. Yeah. Yeah. He, so he's like, man, that's cool. And he's like, Alison, you're my guy.

When he got married, he goes, I just signed a contract. I got a travel buddy for life. He views you as his theme park buddy. And it's so new. It's like he hooked you in. And then he was like, yeah. He's like, this is what we do. Yeah, that's like real wild stuff. So the theme he picked at random. It's not like you married a parrot head.

He just said, Hey, guess what? Now that we're married and this is our honeymoon rather than a night of hot lovemaking, check out this video where these guys go to Margaritaville. And now I want to do it. And you said, what did I sign up for?

It was quite literally the day after we got married. Holy shit. Wow. You're telling me that's not the fun fact about you? You're telling me it was a bad question? Catch the risk. Yeah, the fun fact about me is I married a parrot head. You married a parrot head and you didn't know. You got tricked into marrying a parrot head. No, it was a closet parrot head and we just found out. Here's what I'm thinking.

The pitch is starting loose. I don't have anything great. I'm hoping you got something good. I got one I'm proud of. You go first. Well, let's just... It is very strange, obviously. So it's a perfect problem for us. Yeah, I thought so.

You can either do the one for one where you get something out of this for yourself. Which would be like what? Which would be like, I like you. You want to go to Paris, whatever the fuck it is. You're like, look, we're doing your weird pilgrimages. I'm not going to Margaritaville, Paris. So we're taking that off the list. It'll be great. He didn't mean Margaritaville, Paris. No, Paris. You need to stop where you stop pretending.

You imagine going to Paris and in Paris you go, what should we do? Margaritaville! Hey, welcome to Margaritaville. Hey, babble.com. How do you say cheeseburger in paradise? Begare fromage. Fromage de frites. Um...

So I think get something out of it for yourself is one option where you go. Like what? Well, like you like something like there's something that you really want to do that maybe you haven't told them or that you haven't even thought of. So with that idea, Allison, is there anything that sparks you as Gareth is starting to go? Could you do a one for a one? Could you say Thursday we're driving to Boston to go to Margaritaville, but Thursday night we're doing blank. We're going to Providence because I want to do this. Yes. Is there anything that comes to the top of your head?

The thing is, I already did that. I tried that already. What's your fun fact, Allison? Boy, he's digging. This dog smells of bone in the yard. She's about, this is a Columbo moment. I already did that. Here's the weirdest fun fact about me that I didn't say earlier. What did you already do? I've been eating my couch and he allowed me to do it. Which brings me up to my strange addiction. That's what I was talking about. I know you were and I love the show. I love you. Oh, God. Okay, go ahead.

Sorry to interrupt the moment. I'm sensing. I'm a big fan of The Outsiders. The book, the movie, and the recent Broadway. You guys are fucking perfect. You are perfect. It's crazy. I know. Go ahead. So we went to go see The Outsiders. I guess maybe it was the opposite way where I took him to go see The Outsiders and he said, okay, but we're going to Margaritaville. So the next time. He's one of you. This is what you could do.

You could find if he really has this compulsion to go to every Margaritaville, a statement that 10 minutes ago I would have said sounded insane. Yeah. You can find some things in driving distance of some of these Margaritavilles and get something out of it for yourself. Yeah. So you could go like if there's somewhere you want to go, you can go. I want to go here. Good news. There's a Margaritaville an hour away so we can check your weird. But let me let me jump onto that for a little bit, Allison.

Because let's be honest, Margaritaville is irrelevant. He just picked it. Oh. It's not like it's a deep love. He's a theme guy. Yeah. So what I would recommend is let's find other themed restaurants that you can tolerate. Yeah. If you told me when he was nine, my first concert was a Jimmy Buffett concert in real life when I was 14. Is that right? Smoked a joint with a 40-year-old lady out of a dollar bill. Yeah.

out of a dollar bill they rolled a joint out of the money and we all smoked it and i thought no i was 14 okay cheeseburger in paradise uh the biggest crush on a human being i've ever had in my life of that woman really yeah she had her arm around me we smoked a joint together and i was like wow i'm in love with you anyhow not about me it is so good context so allison

All we need to do is find other themed restaurants. The Rainforest Cafe. Hard Rock. Hard Rock. Yeah. Well, but you go to good places. Yes, but you could find another theme that you could tempt him with so that you could say... Uno Pizzeria. You like Uno Pizzeria. You could say, I'm not against you and me going to themed places. You know me. I'm an outsider's girl. Yeah. I like this stuff. We went to fucking Disney...

You know, we just went tell I'm into it. I'll go to all the theme parks. I'll go to the stuff. We got to replace Margaritaville. I like that idea. And you can't just say that with nothing because I hate when someone says, hey, what you're doing isn't working. And I go, OK. And then they go, but I don't know what to do. Yeah. Have a pitch. Three options. What are other themes that you could be interested in?

So I love a good trip to the Olive Garden. So that could be fun. He's going to be calling us in a month. That's insane. What's the theme, Free Bread? What's the theme, diarrhea?

I think it's good because I don't have taste. Wow. You are. By the way, that should not be the commercial. I know. The Olive Garden. I think it's good because I don't have taste. When you're here, you have no clue. When you're here, you'll get diarrhea. So, okay. I think it's good. But what's the theme? What's the theme of the Olive Garden? We were just talking about. Italy. Yeah. Italy. Kind of. Sure. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay.

I don't know. The thing about an Olive Garden is it's ubiquitous. They're everywhere. The Olive Gardens are everywhere. Okay, but we're building something. We might be building something. I think we can make that work. I do too, but let's hear some other ones. So you love the Olive Garden. What else do you love? I like the Olive Garden. I like...

There aren't that many themed restaurants that I like is the issue. I do like Red Robin, but I don't know what the theme of that would be. Okay, you like Red Robin. So you like really kind of... Okay, keep going. So you like Olive Garden. You like Red Robin. They have free fries. You like free stuff. Red Robin does unlimited fries. Olive Garden does unlimited bread. They don't anymore. Yeah. Olive Garden doesn't? Yeah, they stopped that. Oh, wow. Okay, so what else? So you like those kind of... You know what? I've got a theme.

You like big chain restaurants, right? Olive Garden is a chain. What's a third big chain you like? I like the Cheesecake Factory. Okay. Which maybe that's controversial, but I like it. Okay. So here's what I would pitch to you. I would pitch rather than going to Margaritaville, which those two guys already did in their YouTube video. You say, why don't we pave our own path?

And go to all every olive garden in the country. How about this? I just again, we're we're and she's admittedly have no she has no taste. Yes, it doesn't care.

Red Lobster is going through a bit of a bankruptcy. So there are not a lot of Red Lobsters remaining. That's interesting. What if you went on the remaining Red Lobster tour? Ooh. And you go- Like a farewell tour? Yes. A farewell tour. The Cheddar Bay Biscuits are unbelievable, but you guys can find, I mean, they've cut their Red Lobsters in half. So you guys can go on the tour of going to the remaining Red Lobsters. And you could film it and create your own YouTube videos. That could be true.

Because this all started... Go ahead, Allison. I was going to say this is... I'm going to just keep dropping fun facts about myself. This is maybe the opportunity to put my journalism degree to use. Sure. Now we're talking. Sure. But so here's what we're... So you're just saying...

You're not against Noah. You're not against, you love the guy. You're very similar. You're a heck of a match. You're in a wind tunnel. Yeah. You're not comfortable with Margaritaville. Yeah. So would you rather do a red lobster tour? Would you like to do an olive garden tour? Because the other thing you could do is you can go to every single olive garden on the East coast.

And guess what? You might have to drive to a weird one in Maine, but you go like, honey, honey, I found one. Yeah. There's a small olive garden at the tip of Maine.

Yeah, you might need to travel with a doctor eventually, but you could this could be you guys. And then you could see how different the Olive Gardens are comparing. You could find. Let me tell you, I've been to a lot of Olive Gardens. There are different. Yes, but you could find morale among them. You could find your favorite Olive Garden. Yeah, yeah. It'll be big. That would be great. An Olive Garden ranking. That's kind of fun.

Ooh, that would be fun. And you guys could dress, if it's themed, like a Margaritaville, like a Parrothead has a look and aesthetic. You guys could create, like, you go to, like,

Italy in the summer, all those novels about like a woman who's like finding life and love and she's wearing like flowy white pants. And what you guys could dress like you're living the life of an Italian vacation. You could dress like Italian, like authentic Italians who don't know what an olive garden is. Yes. And so part of your parrot head, you are a garden head. Yes. Yes. But now a garden head, your garden head, you're an olive head.

You're a garden box. I like that. I like that. What do you think of that? I like that. I like that even more because I think that will make him mad.

because he studied abroad in Italy and came back and called Olive Garden his personal hell. So I think maybe that might be the tip for Kat I need. It's not going to work. We're on your side, but we're not trying to harm Noah. We were trying to make something work. Yeah, you're like, that's good because Noah will be in hell. And he'll never do it. And I will win our marriage. That is a competition. I will best him. That just started. That just started.

You can't win marriage? So here's the move. We were going in a direction. You took a turn, but the turn could work. We're on your team. Okay. You could say, every time you want to go to Margaritaville, we're olive heads, and we have to wear black.

Black berets, like we're Olive Heads, and we go to an Olive Garden in the same city. Fedoras. Margaritaville in the morning, Olive Garden at night. ER by midnight. And you speak with an Italian accent to the waitress. Muy autentico. And he hates it, and he goes, this has to stop. And you go, let's cancel. Olive Garden cancels out Margaritaville. Let's find a new one together. And let me just say, because we do have to go, but let me just say, if you want to just kill Margaritaville fully,

My pitch in that direction is willingly go to a Margaritaville and you fake a food poisoning. Because when you get food poisoned at a restaurant, you never want to go back. I pretty much swore off Malaysian food because one time I got food poisoning in college. Someone recently had to be like, it's not the culture's design to give you food poisoning. It was a shitty restaurant. So, Allison, what do you think? Where are you at? I think I like...

either trying to cancel out Margaritaville with Olive Garden or finding a third neutral space.

OK, you guys could be the lobster tails. Go to Red Lobster. Go on a Red Lobster. So I say use Olive Garden to cancel out Margaritaville. Then when you're in a blank because Red Lobsters are have an interesting aesthetic. Yes. As well as if you wanted to document it, you could call it the lobster tails. Yes. And you could even do the duck tails theme. I'm over pitching. Go ahead, Jake. Oh, I love duck tails. OK, I like that. Lobster tails. Woo. You know? Yes. What do you think? Yeah.

I like that. I think maybe we need to become the lobster tails. So what are you actually going to do? Cause look, this was fun. We learned a lot of fun facts about you, but we're not here just for fun. We're here to help. So what are you actually going to do when we get off this phone and you contact Noah?

I think I'm going to tell him that I think we're going to become the Lobster Tails. I really genuinely think that might be the answer. What a phone call. Let's do it really fast. Gareth, you're Noah. Okay, I thought we were going to actually call him. And then, I mean, it'd be great to actually call him. That would be great.

You want to call him? Yes. Can we? How could we do it? Yeah, you can. I know we're ruining. We're ruining Kevin's schedule. 17 minutes over, but yeah, let's call him. Yeah, we can call him. 17 minutes over, but yeah, let's call him. Let's just do it really fast. If he doesn't answer, he doesn't answer. That's an ep title. Can you try to merge him in the call? Okay.

17 minutes. Yeah, we can do that. All right, let's do it really fast and let's just see what happens. Okay. He's at work. Can I have just 30 seconds to get his work number? Sure. Okay. Sorry, Kevin. That is a top five Kevin moment for me.

17 minutes over, but okay, sure, let's call. The man's trying to plan the day. He's plotted the morning. Yeah, he's got things lined up. He's like, this next call is great. First call. And then you and I are on, we're making this a whole episode. We're putting a call in that's probably not going to air. Yeah, he's probably not going to answer. If he does, he's going to go, what is this? Yeah, he's going to be like, what? And then we're going to try to explain this. It's not going to go well. It's not going to go great. Where are we at, Allison?

I got a pitch. Why don't we, at the end of recording today, we have a minute. Why don't we call him at the very end, Kevin? What do you think of that? How does that sound? So, Allison, you can have a minute to get your shit together. We will call you in what, when, Kevin? Like two hours. Two hours we'll call you. We can merge the calls. That sound okay? That sounds wonderful. All right. We're going to pitch at that. Okay. Let's do that. All right. And so what we're going to do now to end this one is. All right. See you later. All right, Allison. We'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Great. Thank you so much. Thank you. Bye-bye. And we're brought to you by Philo. You know Philo. We love Philo. Philo's got current seasons of shows that I and Jake and Shark can't miss on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC. I've got shows like The Office, Martin. If you haven't watched Martin, and The Office, Martin.

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Keep the carbs out of summer without compromising flavor with Hero Bread. Get 10% off your order at hero.co and use code HELP at checkout. That's help at h-e-r-o dot c-o. Hello. Hey, I'm going to do the follow-up intro here because Jake has made enormous bites up there. What the hell did you eat? Monster.

We've been here for like an hour and a half. Noodles. Jake's eating meatballs. What's your name? And remind us what your first call was, if you can. Hello. My name is Allison. And my first call was about my husband being obsessed with Margaritaville. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Okay. So he has an unhealthy obsession with Margaritaville.

We pitched a tremendous amount of stuff. What did we land on? We landed on you kind of making Olive Garden yours. Is that right? We pitched that one. We also discussed the possibility of bringing in a third

third in the form of red lobster oh that's what it was that's right right and that's yours sweetie i want to bring in a third yeah really bringing in i'm thinking about that it's right the least sexy bringing in a third how funny is it when we hear our pitch and we're like i don't like it and so what did you end up doing what's happened where are we at walk us through it

Well, the last that I heard, we wanted to bring Noah into the conversation. That's my husband. We were like 17 minutes over and he was going to call back. Oh, right. That's right. Okay. Get his perspective and he is ready to go. Oh, shit. Amazing. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Look alive, everybody. We're really going to see Noah's arc. Camera's mine. Okay.

None of them. Oh, wait, what do you mean? How's that possible? All right, Noah, are you on the phone? Hello? Hi. Hi, how are you? Hello, who is this? So Noah, we are talking to you from a podcast called We're Here to Help.

Oh? Allison, you want to explain what the hell's happening? Yeah, tee us up a little bit, Allison. Otherwise, this feels like an intervention. Oh, geez louise. Noah, this is because I care about you. That hurts our cause. I care about you. And we've gone too far with Margaritaville. We've gone too far, and I had to speak...

I was going to say professional help, but I don't think you can. Whoa. So I had to go to my house. So no, what Allison called in because she said this obsession with Margaritaville is getting out. You're going to Boston. You got to go to Margaritaville. We all love Margaritaville, but she called us because it's getting a little much. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to go to the Canada one too, but here I am, you know? So can you walk us through,

How Margaritaville is an obsession started for you and what's happening? What's up? All right, I'll put it like this, I guess. So I grew up going to... Noah, your connection broke up for a second. Are you like in a different room or something? Margaritaville? Sorry, we can't... Are you on a Margaritaville Wi-Fi? We can't really hear you. No, no, I'm in the middle of nowhere, Wi-Fi.

Okay. It's breaking up too much. Yeah, it's breaking up. It's kind of hard to hear you. Sorry. Hi, it's Kevin. Unfortunately, Noah's audio was cutting in and out here for the next couple minutes, so we rescheduled it where he had a better connection, and we're now going to jump to then. Enjoy.

Hello, I'm Allison again, and this is my husband Noah. Say hi, Noah. Hi, hello. Noah's here because he loved Margaritaville. I'm here because I love Margaritaville. That's intense. Allison, Noah, walk us through what's going on.

So it's escalated. It always does. Start back at the beginning. Start at the beginning. Now we're talking, Noah. Take the reins. Well, since we've last spoken, we've gotten a dog.

And Noah has made special trips to pet stores like at least half an hour away to specifically get Margaritaville dog toys. Oh, my God. Noah. Noah. Noah, there's a reason why your name starts with no. Wait, Noah. Margaritaville dog toys? What are those? Yes.

I can't help it that they merchandise what they want to merchandise. Do we have photos of them?

Yeah. Can you send them to the shark? Can we see what a Margaritaville toy looks like? Can we just talk about the reach of Jimmy Buffett merch wise? God bless his soul. God bless the man's soul. Yeah. So you're being. We walked into Petco. I thought I was being punked. There was a, there was an entire end cap display of Margaritaville dog and cat toys and

And I thought this was like a elaborate move. We're seeing him right now. Gareth, walk us through what we're looking at. I'd rather not. Hold on. Noah, will you? Oh, wait, Noah, you're not seeing what we're seeing. Never mind. We're seeing. No, no, I'm in an office in the middle of nowhere. Okay, so we're seeing.

bird options, parrots, flamingos, a margarita glass, then a fake margarita with a fake salted rim. That's probably a squeaky toy, more just aquatic crustaceans, octopi, a car with a surfboard on it. Margaritaville dog bowls. Yeah. It's it's it's truly a little bottle of Cuervo, a little bottle of Corona. OK, so now back to now, Noah, we got to talk to you for a little bit.

What's going on? What's going on? Who hurt you? And why were they drinking margarita when they did? Yeah. What's happening? No, I mean, it's just...

It's so intriguing to me. I have been on a path all my life going into themed entertainment. I love the themed entertainment industry. It's the industry that I found my job in. That's made me happy ever since I can remember as a little kid when I hit my head on a brick wall at Disneyland. And

You know, a facet of that is being restaurant. Hold on, hold on. You're right. Everything was going great. That's the origin story. And then a piano fell on my head, and now it's all margarita. Mickey Mouse threw me into a building, and for some reason ever since then I've been a theme guy. Yeah, I don't remember two years.

Yeah. I mean, truly, that is like when the spider bit Spider-Man. Yes, exactly. Like, that is like... Truly, truly. That is your origin. Okay, so you were at Disney. Everything changed. You hit your head and you've become, since then, your brain got rattled and you went, theme park. Themes.

And that's exactly what happened. I was in the sixth grade and I've been like that ever since. This is an origin for either a superhero or a villain. Completely. This is Bruce Wayne watching his parents get murdered. Margarita man. Yeah. Except Goofy tossed you into a wall. And so so just just to catch up, because I'll tell you what this call is not about us judging you like in Margaritaville.

Great. Enjoy it. I mean, great. You're happy. Margaritaville's happy. Who cares, man? I wrestle with a dummy in my garage. Who am I to talk? And I don't always win.

That's something I don't mention. I'd argue you've lost before you start. I'd argue physically I've lost because I get in a position where I can't get it off of me. And I yell, tap, I tap. And then afterwards, I get mad. I then push it off and get the little kid frustrated where I'm like, get the fuck off me. And I'm alone, my man. So back to you guys. Oh.

So what is the, what was the, what was the final pitch we gave? What have you done? Where are we at? What's happening? Allison or Noah, the floor is yours. So the last we talked, the latest pitch was,

going to Red Lobster and then we tried to talk to Noah and we couldn't hear him. Right. So now we're right. Right. That's what it was. We didn't even get that far with me. This is the first time we've started getting to know Noah. And so what happened with Red Lobster? Well,

Nothing, because I don't think the one near us is open anymore. It is. You just don't like going to it. Yeah. I'm scared. So basically, where we're at after the first call is no change. Margaritaville has gotten even more now that you have a dog. Yeah. And Allison, this isn't quite a follow-up. This is a...

call for help question mark a re-complaint because the solve is that noah's going further places for more margarita so then allison what yes if you're asking me that i've worked on myself since last we tried to talk i have not and i've just gone deeper i love it by the way same

In all areas. And by the way, that should be a shirt. If you've asked me if I've gotten better, I haven't. I've just gone deeper in all bad areas. That's the name of my memoir right there. So, Allison, what is this specific question that we can help you with with Noah on? Keep in mind, I go which way the wind blows. And right now I'm all for Noah.

You happy at Margaritaville? Go to Margaritaville. A dog likes a squeaky toy. Who cares if it's a margarita glass? But Allison, the floor is yours.

So my question is, should I be concerned? Do I intervene or do I just get swept in the tidal wave? That's a good question. Well, you called that you called us because this was too much. That was what the call was. So now you're saying that this is what has happened. Let me walk you through. You called us. You said my husband is addicted to heroin. We said you need to ask if he's OK going out for a drink a couple of times a week.

The last time he tried to call, his phone didn't work. Now he's called back and you said, hey, he's still doing heroin and like he's mixed in speedballs and he's coming home. How close am I to solving this? You're further. There's no solve. You're further away. The problem still exists. I think he's just kind of whittled you down, much like the weird dummy Jake has living in his little weird wrestle shed. His name is Anthony. Stop. It's just fallen on top of you.

No, you know what my dummy's name is? I just named him Jimmy Buffett. Yeah. And my garage is called Violent Margaritaville. Now you're further enabling. Yeah. I got a pitch, and I got a pitch now that we get to know Noah, and I like Noah. You guys need a trial separation. No, we don't. I like you two. Noah, I like you. I also like this couple together. I think you guys are having a good time. I do too. Here's my advice to you, Allison.

Lean into Margaritaville. Yeah. You tried to fight it. You know what happens if you're in a storm and the rain's coming down and you don't have an umbrella? You're going to get wet. You're going to get wet. So here's what I say. Stop running under a tree and going, you're in a goddamn tsunami, lady.

Let Margaritaville pour through your veins. If Noah's a 10, you're 100. Walk in singing Cheeseburger in Paradise. Impossible to 100 this 10. Noah, what are you thinking of that? What are you thinking of that, Noah? How about if she leaned in?

I would say that it's five o'clock somewhere right now. Now we are talking, baby. Jake, you Jake. Jake has. It's always five o'clock somewhere. OK, Allison, go. Go ahead.

So now I have a new question. How do I 100 the 10? Okay. And then let me answer that by saying this. Noah, the floor is yours. How do we get her to Margaritaville? Oh, she just has to hop in a car with me and we'll go. She just got her enhanced driver's license. She can get into Canada now. That's where the best one is.

jesus christ that was a jump away from me that was a surprise another country she had to get a special license to go to the canadian margarita bell allison i got a question i have a passport this sounds like he's getting into a secondary location yeah yeah yeah i got a question for you allison

I don't think there's a fix to this problem. I don't think we're going to slow it down. I think this is a snowball going downhill fast. And the question to you is, do you want to join it or do you want to stand by the side and let the Margaritaville phase happen? Cause it will come to an end. There's only so much in Margaritaville until Noah goes, this is a new theme park I'm excited about, but it might be six months. It might be five years, but,

But the Margaritaville well doesn't run that deep. I think you might surprise here.

Do you think this is for life, Noah? Honey, I will say, the last stage of grief, Allison, is acceptance. I was really hoping you were talking to me with that stuff. I thought he was too. I was like, I don't know. I wanted you just to go like this. Honey, let me tell you, you're way wrong, Jake. And I was going to be put in my damn place. If we told you, honey, we'd have a separate problem. No, then we would have a gold mine. Honey, let me tell you, this well runs deep. And what I would say to that is, I apologize. I apologize.

I just love how quickly Jake dropped any defense. I mean, it really is. But what do you think, Garf? Well, I got two. If you're on the outside of this, what do you really think? I think to your point and to Noah's credit-

We can't get out of the way of this. So we have to just allow it. I think, Allison, your choice, you can lean in. I mean, shit, you could get like Margaritaville wrapping for the car if that felt comfortable. But you're not going to out crazy this crazy. This is already gone. This ship has sailed. So what I would say is you have two options and both could maybe work. The first option is.

Either you or Noah, maybe right now, can give us something that is something you want that is a little harder to come by. Something that Noah can trade you for this margarita nightmare he's dragged you into.

That's your first option. What is something? You want to go to a chalet, go skiing, whatever the hell it is. What is that? And let's offer that up as something that Noah now agrees to help you with, come fully on board for. So basically that idea is she will go to the Canada Margaritaville with Noah if he does blank with her? Yes. Allison, you got something? I want him to get on a roller coaster. Noah, thoughts?

Do you have one in mind? The Great Bear at Hershey Park. No. Hmm. Okay. I'm hearing you. I'm hearing you. Noah, she's going to go to a Canadian Margaritaville. I want to hear what Noah says, Gunn. He's hearing her. This is for the Canada Margaritaville.

That is all the marbles. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'd do it. I would do that. Take the wig. I can look at that. We got that. We got that. That's recorded. And then Allison, let's do this. And Noah, let's all make an agreement. The first thing you guys do is the roller coaster and you guys take a photo before and after. Yeah. After that is complete. You send that to us. Then.

Stamp those passports because you two crazy kids are going north of the border to Canada. Stamp that specific license. Canada. When you're in Canada, you're in Margaritaville because it's five o'clock somewhere. Noah, is this something you will agree to? I would absolutely agree to this. I'll sign this porn affidavit right now. Allison, is this something you would agree to?

I agree. We're getting it on, guys. But that is great for a couple of reasons. One, because it is a very good exchange. And the second is my second pitch was that the next time you're in a Margaritaville, you have to throw Noah headfirst into a wall there to undo this. I was wondering if that's been the problem. Guys, follow up with us after the roller coaster and the Canada with photos please. We demand a fourth.

We demand a fourth, and we definitely want the photos. Please. Okay. I will also send you the photos of the dog toys. Yes, please. Please. All right. We appreciate you. What is the dog's name? Jimmy. His name is Tulsa. He is a beagle. That's not cute. All right. Thank you. Thank you guys for the call. She got the naming right, but I wasn't allowed anywhere near that. And Noah, if you could have named the dog, what would it have been?

Jimmy. Okay, have a good day, buddy. Bye, guys. Yeah, okay, you too. All right. Thank you so much for your time. See you. Thank you. Bye-bye. Hey, everyone. Producer Kevin here. One of the Gilly Beans listener, Jonah Gallegos, sent us this amazing song, and we wanted to play it. So I hope you enjoy, and the link for it is in the episode description if you want to listen to it as well. Enjoy, and have a good one. It's raining

You can tell us all your problems We'll figure them out You need answers and we've got them We're on your side We'll give you options, you decide Don't act so surprised We'll change your life We're here, so without further ado So you need some motivation for your soccer team We'll help with your character Maybe you're afraid Your parents made a tape

We're watching for you, don't you hesitate It's the least that we can do You gave your boss tickets to an ostrich farm Your husband wants to put a circus in your barn And if you need to craft an epic lie Madonna's searching for that perfect fry Don't worry, we'll help 'Cause we're here to help You can tell us all your problems

We'll figure them out, you need answers and we've got them. We're on your side, we'll give you options, you decide. Don't act so surprised, we'll change your life. We're here for you, so without further ado. Your old neighbor painted you, now you don't know what to do. So we'll buy the pen, we'll hang it in this room.

And if you got some creepy baby dolls, bet your dad put from the wall. Frederick and Big Fat Babe, a video call. To convince your boyfriend to hang him up while he's there. Cause we're here to help, you can tell us all your problems. Figure them out, you need answers and we've got them.

We're on your side, we'll give you options, you decide. Don't act so surprised, we'll change your life. We're here for you, so without further ado. Sentos is Santa, who's gonna wrap wrap? Fourth favorite, Spider-Man. There is Mom, isn't it? Fake Jake, who'd get close to watching me cry?

We're here for you. So without further ado, we're here for you.

So without further ado, me for you. So without further ado.