107: The Donut King
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With the scarf and the shard. Wow. We've won intro without you, Jake, but it's good to have you back, buddy. Back. I'm back. Back from New York City. Have a good time? That was pure vacation. Pure vacation. As good of a time as possible. Loved. I remembered how great New York is and got annoyed with how much I've been believing bullshit of like, New York is falling. New York is terrible. It is not what it used to be. Where did you stay? I don't know.

We stayed in Manhattan on the kind of 60th Street for a while, and then we stayed in Brooklyn for the end of it. There you go. The Brooklyn part I like. When I stayed in Times Square, I did that. When I walk through Times Square, it turns me into a bad guy. Really? Yeah. My kids, it was the first time in Times Square. We were in Times Square a bunch. Yeah, I can't. It's wild. I can't. It's like I'm a sweaty mosh pit. Kevin, you know what that's like. Kevin's like, I should move there. Yeah. That's my element. You say sweaty mosh pit?

But it's what he might have been and I could live in it. I mean, those are that's the Pacific Ocean for the shark. Yeah. Are you working when you go there? Are you able to get are you like are you sneaky? I know you you're you're mixing in some work. Always been. I mean, it's the beauty of cell phones. Yeah. I look like this. Hey, guys, I got to check directions on this. I was going to say, I bet you're a cover upper. I do the cover up sometimes. Yeah.

I just do this. I got to just, I go, all right, so you guys want to go to the Sephora? Yeah. And my girls would be like, yes. And I'll go like, all right, I think that's on 47. Let me check. And they'll go, what are you typing? I'm like, Sephora still. They're like, it's been five minutes. And now go, let me just get on the phone really fast and call Sephora. Okay. So the problem with the second act of my, how about this? Do you ever do this? Are you ever out to eat? And do you ever go,

I got to go to the bathroom again. And then you go to the bathroom, maybe do a quick pee, but then you're in there for like three minutes just catching up on stuff. Yes, always, always. The sneak reward is tough.

But the problem with our line of work is it's really fun. Yeah. So when you're in a project and you're excited about it, I mean, I know Gareth, you're the same as me, but our brains are constantly moving. Yes. So you're like, I'm at dinner. I'm present. I love everybody here. I'm excited. There is a rat in the cage just going like...

Let me just let it out for a little bit. And you never want to be the reason something's taking time because there's so much time that goes into all this stuff that's just ridiculous. So it's like if you are the one who can be in the responsive position, it's like, let's go. It's like jujitsu.

I love you, bro. I love you, man. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. We're excited. Really fast. Shark, where's your body at, big guy? What are we looking at? No spoilers, but what kind of budget were we talking for gifts?

The attitude. It's the attitude. Was it like $100, $200 or $400, $500 per gift? I'll tell you what it isn't. It isn't the second part. I can guarantee you that. I mean, I'll tell you that. Have you ever heard of a place called the 99-Cent Store? It's like three things. Hey, thank you for your service at the Dollar General, my man.

Cool. I think as a gift, Gareth and Jake gave me old hats from their closet. They gave me car fresheners that don't have any scent to them. Dude, this thing really smelled like bananas for a while. Mine smelled like a Dollar General store. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado. Hello. Hi, welcome to the show. Can we get your name, please?

Hi, let's go with Veronica. 90s sitcom flirty, Veronica. And where is Veronica from? New York City?

No, actually far south of there. I'm in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Ah, ATL, dirty birds. But she's going to move to New York one day for a big job opportunity and she's going to go to Times Square. Because she's an architect. And she's going to be overwhelmed and she's going to have a box of her stuff and she's going to be around all the big signs and she's going to spin around and go like, whoa, what is this place? Yeah, but then she's going to meet a guy with kind of long hair who's about six foot two who's really sensitive in a really cool jacket and things are going to start.

That's when the next chapter starts. Ooh, Veronica, the floor is yours.

So I have a bit of a conundrum. So my husband and I were really close with another married couple and they are really great. My husband's best friends with the wife. I'm really close with the husband. All four of us hang out. We're a nice little group here, but we're a part of a larger friend group. And in that larger friend group, they started a while back, like months ago, sort of assumed

assuming that the four of us were swinging. Um, and we thought that was funny. So we decided, Oh, let's lean into the joke. Veronica real quick. Uh, Jake and I did make the same assumption when you said friends with the husband and friends with the wife, that so did the shark, by the way, he went like this. When you said he's like great friends with the wife, I think all of us went like beard scratch. Um,

Okay. Sorry to cut you off. So, so they said that they started that rumor sort of you leaned into it. Keep going. Yes. So we thought it was funny. So we kind of would lean into it and like make little comments because we just thought we'd lean into it. My husband would have sex with her.

And then I had sex with our husband. As a joke, we would have sex every other weekend. We moved into one house. It's a joke. And then my question is, how do I go back to my old life? Okay, so keep going.

Well, so we just went and I know I'm painting such a picture and y'all are definitely swinging, but we're not. We went on a cabin trip with the two of them for her 30th birthday very recently. And I've kind of been a little bit over the joke for a while because where it gets a little messy. Let me guess, your husband and her are very into the joke. Yeah.

You're like, let's stop. And he's like, we're going to slow dance one more time to our favorite song. Yeah. Really? It's all three of the other ones, except for me. They're all really into the joke. And the reason for that is because the other couple are kind of actually involved in that life. Okay. And so this is a little messy. Yeah.

He would honestly probably be open to it. I know he would, Veronica. You're living a nightmare. We got to get you out of here. This is a great call. I'm sorry to keep interrupting. I'm just getting excited. That's okay.

So basically, you know, we come back from the cabin trip. Everyone had assumed that if we hadn't already all four just like fucked each other that we were going to on the cabin trip. It didn't happen. But a lot of jokes were made and there were no other people around. It was just us four. And the guys kept making jokes about me and the other girl like getting naked and like doing stuff. And like, I really felt like I had to almost push myself.

to make sure it didn't happen and really be like, no, no, no, no, no. And me and my husband have talked about it since we got back and he is very okay. Uh,

you know if you don't like the joke we'll just stop but I need to find out how to kill this joke with the two of them without offending them or upsetting them holy shit that is a problem I gotta say guys Veronica you're part of the guys here this might be a top five all time setup it's a great setup for us because it's a real pickle it's a really tricky one and it is like let me ask you this

So when you said that to your husband, because you sort of said the vibe was maybe there with your husband being a little OK with it, you mean OK with the joking or do you mean OK with maybe swinging?

So a little bit of both. We've had discussions. We've never brought anyone in, but we've had discussions about like the potentiality of bringing in someone else. And he's, he's really just like sexually open to experimenting. He's never done it before, but he'd be open to doing it like with me and with someone else. And really his biggest thing is, uh,

You know, he always just wants me to enjoy myself as much as I can. And he feels like if we brought in someone else, I would enjoy myself more. He sounds like a heck of a salesman. I just want you to really enjoy yourself when I'm with another woman. The long con.

The whole idea this is your pleasure while I'm being pleasured. Yeah. That's the equivalent of getting in trouble and saying to your mom, no matter how mad you could be at me, I promise you I'm madder at myself. Nobody's more disappointed than me. Before you get disappointed, let me tell you. I'm disappointed in you. Don't even say anything. Don't even bother grounding me. I'm grounded for Fortnite.

And you know what? We're both realizing that grounded doesn't mean anything, so I'm going to go out tonight, but I feel the punishment of a grounded. I don't even need to be grounded. I'm so down about this. So, Veronica, let me just ask you. So we're starting to get a picture here, and I do think Garf and I are on the same page, and that is your husband's looking to swing, this other couple's looking to swing, and they would like you to swing with them. Yeah. Is swinging with this other couple something you're at all interested in, or is that a hard no?

For me, it's a hard no. Whenever we've talked about it, me and my husband, I've always said, I don't want it to be any friends. I don't want to know the people. I want them to be on the outside. Okay. And what does he say? Does he go like, where is he at?

I mean, he's open to whatever I say. He doesn't push back, and he knows that I'm not comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, including the fact that he and her are very close, and I don't like that idea. So, you know. Well, here's just the fastball, is just you could, if you did feel like it were an appropriate time, you could have your...

or bring in someone else now, I think that would sort of maybe satiate whatever's going on with him a little bit. And that might be the way to sort of cut that off. I do too. That's just my first pitch. I have a couple to get you out of

the situation with that. Now we know where she's at. She does not want to mess around with them. This call is not about maybe doing a three-way with somebody else. This is how do I get out of this joke with this couple that you do not want to swing with. Here's my suggestion. When it gets brought up, say yuck and make barfing sounds. So if it's like this, maybe let's just call him Rod where they're like, maybe you and Rod will have a slow dance go and barf.

As if the idea of being with them is gross, where they're like, maybe you two ladies can get in the hot tub and you go, and what, barf? And they'll go, no, no, no. Like, you guys could hook up and you'd be like, yeah, I would love to barf by touching her. Like, we're friends. But maybe we could all swap. And what, I'm going to barf in a hotel room? What Jake is pitching right now, Veronica, is a catchphrase.

Jake is pitching a catchphrase that Attuit has the stigma of. I'm not into you guys sexually because you gross me out. So the thought of it isn't fun and flirty. It makes me want to barf.

I like you guys as friends. Seeing your genitals, I'm literally going to bring up my Chipotle. And they go like, all right, stop the games. I'm not gross. Your pants off, Rod, makes me truly want to barf, dude. And he'll go like, no, I know. And you go, you're a great friend. Having sex with you on a bed is like having sex with a brother. Yuck.

It'll kill the flirty game. I mean, so it's not a bad idea. My only concern is there's a lot with our kind of dynamic with the four of us. And one of them is that me and the other wife are, we're very opposite physically. And in that way, we're actually kind of intimidated by each other's attractiveness and

And we talked about it. Okay. Walk me through what that means. Let's give some descriptions. I don't truly, I'm not perving out. I don't get it. I'm perving out. You're both attractive. I'm perving out too. I'm doing what your husband does. I'm not perving out, but can you send us photos? We won't post. Can we go to the cabin with you next time? Not perving out. Just for a patron. We'll film it, but we won't release it on patron. It's fine. It's just for us. Okay. No, for real. What does that mean? You're opposite, but you're intimidated by the other.

Yeah, so we both kind of discussed it. She is very tall, very fit, curvy, has gorgeous hair, always looks perfect every day. I am not that person, but I am much more petite and like all of that. And she kind of wishes she was me. I kind of like don't wish I was her, but I look at her as she is extremely beautiful. And I've said this to like everybody in the sense of like,

She intimidates me with her appearance, you know? So I just don't know that they would buy that. I get it. I will say this Veronica, as your friend, I feel like your husband's putting you in a slightly weird spot. Well, you're intimidated by her. You think she's a total babe. He's best friends with her. They're talking about swinging in a cabin. Yeah.

As your friend in a bar, I'm kind of going like, I'm not loving the way this book's being written. Am I wrong, Garf? Well, I think if he's saying he gets it, I think you're not. Look, it's a bind. I mean, but I think if he's if he's saying to you like, you know, I, you know, if he's like, I want to make you feel comfortable, like we don't need to play that game anymore. I mean, that's the right attitude to try to fix it. You are getting that from him, right?

Yes, 100%. Like, he, as soon as I told him I was uncomfortable, he was like, great. But his sort of idea of how to kill it is essentially what I've been trying to do for the past several months. He's like, I'm going to try to kill it. I should marry her. Well, marry her.

How does he want to kill it? I cut you off. No, it's okay. He was just saying essentially he would join in on what I've been doing, which is when they make a joke, I just don't really engage in it. And so what I told him is I just don't know if that's going to work because it hasn't worked when I've been doing it these last several months. So if he joins me, the two of them feed off of each other like crazy. So if they're still making the joke and like even just seeing a smile from either of us will be enough of a... I think that's right. Like...

I've got a question. What do we think of him physically? Not your husband, the other guy. Physically? I mean, he's an attractive guy. He and my husband actually have very similar builds in a lot of ways.

Hmm. What does that mean? And I am perving. I don't know. You mean frame wise they're big, they're, they're in good shape. Yeah. Like frame wise. Yeah. They're both, they're both like lean build tall kind of string bean guys, you know? Okay. Okay. I think we need to get them part of the pun. We need to get them off of this idea. Um, and I think there's a couple ways in,

You want to turn them off to the idea. You want to preserve the friendship, but you want to make them not want to take it to that next level. So I think we're going to need to come up with something that sexually makes you guys less attractive. I love this. And the way to do that... Fart. I have three pitches. Okay. Fart. Jake... Jake... By the way, Jake's episode title, Barf and Fart. I...

The first one is this. Fart. Stop. The first one, and if you say it again, it is still funny, just so you know. The first one is that you... Yep, say it's the word. The first one is... Fart. See, that was timing. That was the right one. No, no, that was right. That was right, comedically. Say you have... Fart. Say you have an STD.

Let's say that you guys have just discovered, and maybe we find a way to either get that information to them randomly, or maybe we open up about it. You guys have contracted an STD that you're trying to figure out what to do about it, but you maybe brought in a third, and you guys have contracted something together from it. Interesting. That's my first one. My second one, and I don't love this one as much because they're...

I'm not even going to pick. Well, I think saying you're maybe pregnant and you're not sure might be a way to just take you out of the market for a little while. Then you could say it was... It's tricky. These are good friends. Yes. The last one is, what if you just started wearing crosses? Like, what if you guys are a little...

More religious than you were two months ago. Can I pitch on that really fast? Because this is pretty good Garf stuff. Have you ever considered Parmesan-ing the floor? Why don't you guys Parmesan each other? You know what we're talking about? So the idea, what do you think the idea of a lie to get out of it?

I don't hate that. Um, it does have to be something that they can believe. Um, as far as the pregnancy thing. Yeah. They know us very, very well. They know that we are very safe because we're not intending on having kids. So we're very, very safe about what we do. I don't know if they would buy that. Yeah. Um,

And, uh, I know that recently, well, recently I was talking with him and there's a shot we could sell it, but I don't know how comfortable my husband would feel about that. Um, yeah.

Just because I'm then roping him into it as well. And, you know, I do think recently I might've told the other guy that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do any sort of stuff with anyone in an effort to get the jokes to stop. Just being like, I'm not sure if I even want to do that or if I don't want to do that for a long time, you know? And, and so I don't know if he would buy that just from what I just said. I've got a pitch. Okay. Yeah.

What about the beginning of the hang? You guys, you go to the fake bathroom a couple of times and then early on you go like, I think I ate something bad because I'm having the grossest diarrhea of my life.

Jake's pitches on this call are amazing. But just imagine this. But just imagine this, Gareth. You and your partner are like really flirty and you have best friends and you're like, you know the fun of it is flirting with them. And you're thinking, I would love to have sex with her. My wife or my girlfriend would love to have sex with him and we're open to it. And so part of the fun is you go like, ooh, you're going in the hot tub. And then your wife's like, ooh, I want to go with her. And then he's playing along and she's quiet. Yeah.

So you're thinking like, I don't know, it feels like it's going. And then she goes, before anything starts, I think I had some weird cheese. And you go, oh yeah, why? How weird? Kinky weird? And you go, the kind of weird that makes me have explosive diarrhea. And I literally like ruined my underpants. And you go like, I think what we're looking to do is just murder. We're murdering boners. And so guess what you don't care about if you're someone's friend, if your boner's ruined.

But you do care about it if the whole game is flirty fun. You're saying we're friends. So friends can talk about this. On a flirty date, you don't talk about it. So we're trying to make you seem gross.

Now that I could play into. And then your husband doesn't have to do anything. And somebody goes, if they go, you know, why don't you and what's her name get in the hot tub? And you go, no hot tub for me. I'm afraid I'm going to brown the water. I'll make that super chilly. Yeah. And they go wide and you go, honestly, I'm not in control of my butthole today. And they go, what does that even mean? And you go, when it gets flowing from this faucet, there's no turnoff. Yeah.

Well, there is a turnoff. But that idea of you are the title of my pitch is boner killing. And lady boners are the same. Yes. You are making both of them go, we like Veronica as a friend. You couldn't pay me a million dollars to get in the sack with that woman. She's disgusting. She is truly disgusting because it will kill the jokes.

I mean, that's fair. I don't know if I'd go as far as you just went. But how come? But how come? But how come? One more thing. You just made me Columbo. Because you want them to think you're attractive? Yeah.

That is a problem is that I have had some physical insecurities this year. And so, you know, it's a weird line to toe where like, I want to be seen as something that is attractive, but I don't want everyone to be like lining up, you know? It's a weird line to walk. I get it. But Verona, it's a clear line. You're not wrong. I hear what you're saying. So you're battling a little insecurities, especially around this woman. And you then don't want to be the diarrhea wife. Yeah.

I hate to say, I agree with you and I hate my pitches now, but I agree with you and I hate my pitches now. But Jake, looking back, can we just give you a moment in the sun of your pitches this episode have been barfing, farting, and diarrhea-ing? Because let me tell you, I'm mature.

Remember we did an episode before that the kryptonite for our show is people with high IQs. I thought you were going to say, well, with the call before this, we were like, and we solved it in four minutes. And now we're in one more. We're like, all right, all right. Well, because this is hard. So Veronica, you want to maintain...

a little bit of your physical pride. This other woman is the fucking killer beauty and she's kind of just getting under your skin a little bit. Your husband is loyal to you, but he's close to her and he likes her. And this other couple is flirty fun and you want to stop the fun, but not turn yourself into diarrhea wife. Mm-hmm.

Right. Correct. Even though I love that term. Yes. It's a great, it's a show title. So here's what I, here's my pitch. Okay. I got two more. Go ahead. You go there. Well, I, I got, I got one that's a straightforward one and then one that's another lie. And the straightforward one is you might just want to say this. I mean, there is a world where when you're next hanging out with them and it happens, um,

You or your husband or your husband pulls them aside or some version of that that says like we love hanging out with you, but we are not going to swing with you guys. And what started as a joke is starting to kind of take over the friendship a little. And it's just kind of making a little weird for us. Like we whatever you guys want to do is your business, but we're just not into that. We still want to be friends.

You know, and then you die. It is. And you die. And then you die. It is. It's awkward. It's it's certainly awkward and probably one you've probably thought of doing. But it's hard because you called the show. The other one I would suggest is this is another lie. And you either put this on you or you put this on your husband.

But one of you has just come clean to the other and told them that at your work, you developed an emotional relationship with someone you work with. And it kind of rocked your relationship a little bit. You've just started opening up and talking about it. And it's been pretty difficult, but you're hoping it brings you closer together. But you guys are just super focused on yourselves as a couple right now.

And you just kind of tell them that in a way that maybe isn't heavy. It's just impassive. This is something we're going through, but we're not. We're out of that game. The security in your relationship right now is very important because you guys just went through something maybe a little difficult. Veronica, what do you think of that? I don't hate that. And that's not like an incredibly far-fetched one either. And that could be pretty subtle too. That could be somebody you work with

You know, you were doing a lot of flirty jokes with and it just got a little inappropriate. And, you know, your husband actually just changed a little bit and it wasn't fun. So we're taking a step back. That's all anybody needs. We're very focused on us right now. And then you just say that and then you just tell him that casually and then you keep hanging out. But that maybe go. What about something like this?

You go, you tell the story and it's not about them, but you tell the story about somebody you worked with, you were doing these jokes with and that he took it more seriously. And now it got really awkward. So you're telling the story of what's happening with them about other people. And you'd be like, it's really hard because now I don't want to hang out with them.

Or, you know, like he was a work friend that we were doing these jokes and I talked to, you know, my husband about it. He didn't care. It was just like fun and flirty at work, but he didn't stop. And you're like, I don't want to actually be with you. It was a joke, but the jokes kept going to the point of like,

You're making this not fun for me. I don't want to hook up with you. It was just fun. It went too far. And then they didn't stop. The man didn't stop. And so now like, it's weird. Yeah. Maybe even like that. Yeah. I mean, I'd like, it's basically like the children of what you're going through, but it's, it's the kid who cried wolf.

And so the person here, the story goes like, well, I don't want to be the boy who cried wolf. I guess I'll stop faking injuries. So you're saying that to them of there's somebody I work with who's doing what you're doing and it's fucking weird and cool it without telling them they're weird so that they can go, let's cool it because I don't want to weird her out. She might be sensitive with this and they'll go, well, we haven't done anything weird. I know, but let's just stop now. Yeah. What do you think of that?

I really like that idea. That's super doable, especially because they don't know anyone I work with. So it would be super doable where we could just make something up. And yeah, I actually really like that. And then you're telling the story while you're having drinks and it's fun.

So it's just like, nice scarf. Am I the only one feeling like we're sniffing the winner's circle on this one a little bit? Yeah, we are. But I'm going to do one more pitch. Go. I'll be in the champagne room. Fart and diarrhea. Jesus Christ. Here's my other pitch, Veronica. It's called a fart. Yeah. Even though I think the winner is this version we just did. The other thing is, this is a problem that you're in, but your husband got you into it.

The other side of this is you tell that hunk, that tall, lanky hunk of yours, fix this. I don't care how you do it. You dug us into this. Now you dig us out. There's too many jokes. Well, to that point, it might make the most sense for him to have had this situation at his work because he's kind of the one more wrapped up in it a little bit right now. So it might make sense for him to have to take the brunt of that if you think he could handle it.

That might be the. And he's like, he's like, I'm flirting with her at work. It was fun. Enough's enough. Yeah. Every second just kind of soured me on even playing around with this sort of shit. It's like, it's enough. What do you think of that? Veronica making him do it.

So that's possible. My only fear is that the other wife is very careful about not upsetting me. This is kind of her first super close male friendship and it's with someone she's taken. And so she is very like, you know, she doesn't want to upset me. And I think if she knew that he was susceptible to something like that, she might pull away from him. And I don't want that. Even as friends. Yeah.

Yeah, like she might pull back because she might be worried, oh, he can't handle this kind of thing, you know? So I feel more comfortable doing it with myself. Great. Let's do it then. Let's do that. I just want to go under a circle. I'm sorry. I just want to help. No, no. Why don't we do that then? Why don't we go with that and see if you can kind of like... Can I jump in? Yeah. So Veronica, let's hear the...

Walk us through the first example. Yep. You're her and I'm him. I'm her. I'm Veronica. No, Veronica is Veronica. Great. You're the, you're the babe he's intimidated by. Yeah. Or she's intimidated by, and I'm the husband and then shark. You're her husband. All right, great. You're Stacy. I'm Stacy. You're Dale and you're Mark.

And then Veronica, we're all just hanging out, having fun, but then you take it to this level and see if you can end it with an example from work. Do you feel comfortable doing this?

Sure, let's try it. Let's try it. And the only reason we do it is so that we go, okay, here's what we could do better on this. Or we say we're golden. Yeah. Okay, so guys, the champagne just got popped. The bubbles. Oh my God, watching it spray on you, I'd love to spray it on everybody. The bubbles are so hot. Cool. Yeah, I'd be pouring right on your head. Oh my God, let me hear it so wet. I'm all wet with bubbles. Oh.

You know, that actually reminds me of something. Go ahead, Veronica. Yeah. So, you know, up at the studio, I work with, you know, a bunch of other teachers. And there's this one teacher that he's been helping me out a lot with a bunch of different, you know, songs and programs and stuff like that. And so we've kind of gotten really close. But, you

He started kind of getting like, I couldn't tell if he was really flirting with me or not. It seemed like he might just be really friendly. But then it kept going to the point where he started calling himself my work husband and kind of...

almost suggesting that like we do things, but doing it in such a jokey way where he can always say, just kidding, you know, without any sort of consequence. Sounds like a funny guy. Yeah. It's wild. Yeah.

Well, you know, it's just kind of like it's made work a little weird now because he works right next door to me and, you know, he can pop over whenever I don't have a student and can just kind of, you know, block the door, be in my space. And it's just, I don't know, it's been making me really uncomfortable. So I don't know if I need to, if I need to say something or, or what, but. I'm sorry. You're actually going through that. And I was totally joking about spraying the champagne on your guys' heads.

Yeah. And I, Oh, well, I appreciate that. Yeah. But that's, that sucks. I, you know, that's shouldn't be happening at work. The line can be hard sometimes for people to recognize when they're in the middle of having some fun. Yeah. Hey, do you guys want to go play some bocce ball outside? I have bad diarrhea. I can't.

What? I am not supposed to eat cheese and I ate a bunch of... Why would you be the diarrhea wife right now? I'm just saying I ate a bunch of cheese and I had... I want to have sex with her, not you. I'm in love with her. No, I know. It's not even about sex. I'm just telling you, by the call wise, I shouldn't be out there jumping. I understand what's going on. I'm dying to fuck others. I...

I don't know what's going on right now. By the way, Veronica, hold on. All jokes aside, the reason we're doing this bit, we have no advice for you. That was perfect. Real good. Yeah, you crushed it. You crushed it. By the way, it wasn't too much. If I was listening to that, you made it so realistic. You were not a victim. You were just like, this is lame. And if I was holding the champagne and my bit was about to be like, I'm going to pour it on the two ladies, I would not make that joke. I think that is very true. It just changes the energy. I agree.

And it makes you going back to being a friend where you're like, Hey, as a friend, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. And the last thing I want to do is put you in a bad spot. It also, if it does come up again and you seem a little less into it, I think it gives, it's already given them eyes on that and it'll, it'll be more prominent. And then I say, you talk to your husband and say, uh,

don't throw any wood on the fire, start dropping it. And they, so that they can get out of this and say, it's not us. That guy at work kind of killed the vibe. So let's not make jokes with them for a little bit, because I don't think she's feeling it. That dude ruined it. Not us. Him. Yeah. I was going to pitch for the husband to have him, uh,

Be like when you're telling the story like, oh, that's like, I'm sorry. Like, yeah, she told me that. That's so weird. And like so that they know the audience is like, oh, that sucks. Instead of being like, oh, come on. Like if your husband also if your husband's with you, I think that helps your story a lot. He could also set it up a little bit. Oh, yeah. Like this fucking thing happened, you know, to Veronica at work. It's yeah. She's dealing with the weirdest thing.

She's been the most annoying thing from a friend. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Short, short term solution. I think you got to take a break on the cabin sleepovers with a couple that wants to swing. By the way, we could have started with that. Thank you so much, Veronica. Veronica, let us know how it goes. You did great. That was awesome. Please follow us. Yeah, you got to follow up. Of course. I'll fly to Atlanta. Of course. But you're to meet the other woman and her or what? To try to ruin the vibe for everybody?

Just keep us posted, but I'm just keep us posted. But Veronica, your move there was perfect. You're right in the pocket. Awesome. Thank you, guys. Bye, Veronica. Thanks.

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Hello. Can we get your name, please, sir? Hi. Oh, absolutely. It's Drew. Drew. Where are you calling from, Drew? Up in Connecticut. Up in Connecticut. And what kind of music you like?

Oh, I'm all over the place. We've got the, I guess, the schizophrenia of music. So we've got the punk, the metal, got the alternative, you know, just all over the place. You're like a shark. And the pop. What kind of metal are we talking these days? Here we go. Oh, I got to give the shout out to, we'll go with Ghostbath. Ghostbath?

Yeah, yeah. Two metal for shark. All right. Two shark for shark. Shark's like, how about green day? Have you heard of it yet, Bob? All right. How old are you, Drew? 33. Okay, great. Okay. Drew, what can we help you with today?

All right. So basically, I like to describe myself as a donut fanatic with the goal of someday possibly being the king of donuts. So I eat...

tons of them. So we're talking like hundreds a year. This year I'm up to 130 and I know that because I keep a detailed spreadsheet. So I keep track of what date I had them on, where I got them. Quick pause. Can we get photos of this spreadsheet and all that, Kevin? I have Instagram with his details that I can show. Then I'm going to stop talking. We're going to go back to Drew. Kevin, present them when you're ready. So keep going, Drew. I'm sorry I interrupted. Winning setup.

No, Rob. So the spreadsheet is my private one. So everything goes in there. But I do have an Instagram where I do a public review. And that's just the first time I try a variety. I do a public review, but then I keep my private spreadsheet, everything. And quickly, what is the name of your Instagram there? So anybody who's listening, who wants to follow? Yeah, let's get these likes up for the King of Donuts. Drew runs on donuts.

Correct. Yes. Drew runs a doughnuts. Okay. So you eat doughnuts and you'd make little reviews on them. Yes. Okay. Can we also see a quick photo of the private spreadsheet? Can you go back to that first picture, Kevin, so I can just walk us through the hashtags real quick?

His hashtags are hashtag donuts, hashtag donuts, hashtag M.A., hashtag mass foods, hashtag donut lover, hashtag food reviews, hashtag cake, hashtag stick, hashtag glazed, hashtag old fashioned, hashtag pandering. You're chasing, baby. You're chasing.

Okay, now go for this. You're a great writer, Drew, too. I love the way you just like pretty self-explanatory. A plain cake donut in stick form covered in glaze. To start, please admire the sheen. It's like you're a great writer. And the craggy bumps. Yes. And by the way, the donut looks excellent. It really does. Yeah. Okay, so keep, if you're comfortable with it, we would love to see the private ones, too, to see how the sausage is made a little bit, but.

Keep going? Yep. So I just sent over a quick little snip in the email to Kevin of the spreadsheet. Okay, great. Okay, so so far this year, you're up to 130 doughnuts.

Yeah. And this is actually down this year. I'm slacking this year compared to previous year. How is that? Just very quickly. This is fascinating. How is it? It's not like you're an athlete who pulled a hammy. How are you? Isn't your problem just you need to be eating more doughnuts?

Not quite. I do. I guess I would not an amateur athlete, but I, uh, the other part of that handle the, the runs on donuts, I'm a long distance runner. So that's the donuts are the fuels for the running. And vice long distance. How far are you going?

I've been averaging about 80 miles a week. Jesus God. Wow. Wild guy, Drew. So you're cooking your body oven to such a degree that the donuts aren't hurting you. It's just a little bit of a sugar carb blast, but you're fine because you're running so much. Is that kind of the thing? And you're liking the taste and it gives you some fuel? Oh yeah. A hundred percent. You got it. Okay. And when did this donut thing start for you? What was the aha moment?

It looks like, according to my notes, it goes back about four or five years. Just had one one day. I was like, you know what? This is pretty good. I forgot how good these are. I should start getting more of these.

I love that you got to go to your notes to just explain to yourself how this started. We got a spreadsheet up right now. I see texture decent, but needed a strawberry blueberry flavor. This is good stuff that you take these notes, man. Very fluffy, but not enough glaze. So it wasn't quite as crisp as I would like.

S'mores filled with marshmallow fluff, chocolate icing on top, some grams, some chocolate pieces. Just tastes like a chocolate ice ring with creamy texture. Also the rating 7.2, 8.7, 8.1. So you're really doing this. Solid crunch, good sweet icing. And you've been doing this for four years, you said, Drew? Oh, yeah. Yep. Quick question really fast. I just got to know. I promise you I'm not judging.

But why? I just like spreadsheets. I like you, my guy.

I'm a bit of a weirdo, though. Yeah, it's good stuff, though, man. So you're going on a scale of 1 to 10. It seems like you're going to a lot of places, but you're also returning to some. So each time you're going and you're getting a donut, you're giving it the real opportunity to give it a fair shake. And then you're going home to your spreadsheet and you're diarying your notes. And I know it sounded like I said pooping badly, but I'm saying diarrhea. Anyway. So...

In terms of you, Drew, this is a heck of a setup. It's really interesting. I think you're a fascinating guy. You want to be the king of donuts. You're running it off, so this isn't a health issue. We don't have to worry about you just baking on a couch. So what is the question?

So I'm looking to establish some ground rules, basically. I feel like I'm kind of losing the spark a little bit over time. Like you mentioned, you're seeing a lot of repeat varieties. And I'm not sure if I have to force myself to really try a certain amount of new ones. And I just have a couple ground rules, like how far should I be driving? How far is too far? How much is too much to pay for one donut? Should I have a minimum allowance, a maximum, all that sort of stuff?

Okay. So this is interesting. So your question is, is what should the rules be of the donut king? Pretty much. Yeah. It's kind of being sprung on. I have a two-year-old now, so I have to kind of think about the family also. Like, is it really okay for me to be driving 45 minutes with a two-year-old strapped in the back of my car just to make him sit there and watch me eat a donut?

Yes, it is. You want to know why? Especially when they get older, if there's no screens, you know what that is? That's a childhood. Look out the window, listen to music, do weird stuff with dad. I make my kids do chores with me. Yes, there's nothing wrong with that. Drive them, listen to a little ghost bath while dad goes to get a crawler. Blasting a little ghost bath. I forgot the heavy metal. Maybe a podcast. Maybe put on this podcast.

Okay. Green day. The kid is a fan of the green day. So he is listening to the music on the way. Good. So, so in terms of the ground rules, help us out on this pitch. Cause here's what I'm hearing, Drew, you're an eccentric guy. You're now a dad. You love donuts. You love spreadsheets. You've got things organized. You're looking for a, you're basically looking for help on creating a spreadsheet for this chapter of your life. Is that correct? Yeah.

Yeah, I think so. I find myself, am I paying too much for this? Is this reasonable? That sort of thing. What's the most you've paid for a donut? I paid $7 this year and I was very disappointed by that one. But here's what I think, Drew. Take money aside and I'm going to tell you why. There might be money on the return. If you eventually printed out these reviews-

This could change the donut game in Connecticut because what you could do is we could maybe help figure out a way, and I don't know what it is. Maybe we'll get to Squarespace and we'll create a website. But maybe there's a world where if you want the best donut in Connecticut,

You got to go to drewrunsondonuts.com. You want the Drew review. You want the Drew review. And then there's a little bit of paid extra. And that is, that's where you get all the details on the donuts. But on the main page, there's just the ratings. And the reason we do this is this is not for profit. This is for more donuts.

I think that's that is kind of in the realm I'm thinking, too. You know, Dave Portnoy does that thing where he goes and eats a piece of pizza in front of a pizza place. And that has just become like people want that review. They want him to try the pizza. They want it with him. It's it's oh, man, that's awesome. Yeah. I mean, sometimes it's nothing makes me want to eat pizza more than watching. I'm like, that looks unbelievable.

but not that you're doing that but to what Jake's saying it's like people in the New England Connecticut area could kind of be like they want to see you come in and have the donut and not only that the places then could reach out to you and offer you donuts and I also think you're running a good amount a week you could just make your radius a little larger and make some of your routing going by these places and if you have like

a backpack or something where you can just kind of place the donut in there. You can do the review post run. Yeah. Yes. It's you're called, uh, drew runs on donuts. What if we change it to drew runs to donuts? Uh, that's good. Well, I actually tried that a couple of years back cause, uh, I went to the gas station every morning and I was trying to figure out how I could loop in my stop. So I didn't have to drive there and they bounce around too much in a backpack. Yeah.

I got you. And you don't want to eat a donut mid-run. That's disgusting. I mean, I've done worse things, but I think it's kind of out of the line of what I want to do. That's not what it is. Okay. So my kind of pitch that I'm starting in is lean into this idea and create a page and actually try to turn this into something that the donut stores in the Connecticut area get involved. And therefore, we have answered the money question.

I also think what we do is with our reach here, we say people in that area tag the best places to get doughnuts. And now we give you kind of like post it, post it. And like after this airs, post it. And let's just have people tag the places in Connecticut to get doughnuts.

that kind of gives you like a map of where you should be going. And I think to Jake's point, like it's not great. If you're like, if you want to make this a little bit more of a thing, I do not think it is crazy to drive with your kid. I think it's great. I also think another rule you have to do, and I'm sure you got a job and you're busy with the kid and the run. So you can't do it all the time. Once a month, you need a new donut place. So there's at least 12 new places a year.

My, my heart says once a week, but that might be too hard because you might start getting to drive far. But once a month, there is a new place and you are not allowed to go to the same donut place more than once a week. Ooh, so that, that gets tough just because we're, um, I do a lot of time researching where I can go to new places and I've,

It gets to be a long drive to get a new place every month. A new, oh, every month. Okay. Within an hour, an hour and a half, I could do it for about a year, I'd say. But so let's cross the bridge after that year and let's just do the first year of it. Now look. I agree. You know, here's the reality. It is going to be inconvenient. It is a long drive. Sometimes you might have to step outside of Connecticut, but Drew runs on donuts.

So this isn't us calling a random person saying you want to drive two hours for a, a Claire. We're talking to Drew and this is your thing. And I think you want to be the donut King. There's some sacrifice to being a King. Absolutely. And you work for the head. Yeah. But you work for the people, you know, and if you don't work for the people, they'll, they'll overthrow you.

But you're telling people in that whole upper East Coast, New England-y area, you got them covered. I would also consider taking a family trip to New York City. And in that trip, I would think of vacations around Connecticut. And every day you're having three different donut shops. Now, you don't have to say when they come out. You can release it later. But you take a trip and you're like, I went to 10 new donut places. And those are going to slowly get released.

you know, bank episodes. I forgot to mention, I do have one rule. Actually, I guess two rules, which is I only have one at a time and I don't do the sampling thing. So I don't do like the buy six and then take a little piece and throw out the rest. It's just disrespectful to the donuts, you know?

I agree. You're a man of integrity. There's no doubt about that. Walk me through that again because I agree. So you're not taking six and taking a bite and then going, I got the strawberry. Boom. I got the blueberry. Boom. I got the chocolate. You're eating the fucking donut because you love the donut.

Oh yeah. This is full committal. I have to pick one. I walk out of there with that in the bag and I know that's coming home with me. Here's my question. Here's my question to you. And I love that about you. That's the equivalent of if you're a hunter, you better eat all the goddamn meat. Yes. If you're going to kill a Buffalo, don't leave the legs behind. Yeah. Pelt, everything. Everything. So that's how I see you on this. And I think you are dead right on it. But here's my question to you.

If you drive two hours from home to new donut shop, are you allowed to get six and bring them home or does the freshness change? Oh, the freshness changes. So the max I would do, I've done some where I've driven about an hour and a half and I'll get to do one that day and then try to get a variety that might last the day too and have that on day two.

Man, so the whole drive is for one donut. Your life is a spreadsheet of a donut, it's true. Is there a product, and I'm talking to the whole group now, the equivalent of those little things that keep cigars fresh?

Humidor. Is there something that we can get that keeps donuts fresh? A sealer or something like that. There's definitely ways to seal a product to keep it fresh. And what it might take away from a little bit is the aesthetic of it. So you take the photo of how the cream looks, but then you put it in one of those bags that you suck all the air out of it. Yeah, a vacuum seal. A vacuum seal where you're like, it's not going to look pretty. But the first day was about it. What do you have there, Drew? I got one right here, Drew.

I can send you this one. It's for my cigars. Kevin has an actual cigar box. In terms of your integrity, it's something like that. This one tastes like cigars, too.

What do you think about something like that? And therefore, you go take a drive, you seal up the donuts, you put them in your fridge or however the best way. You're a man of research, so you'll figure out the best way to do it. Now, the day of, you take the photos. So that's the day it gets judged aesthetically. But five days later, it gets judged via taste. Yeah. I don't think that's a cheat for you, Drew. Yeah.

Uh, there really is no way to keep it fresh that long. Um, so like your, your, your max one, two days, I've, I've really tried it. I mean, I can, I can, I've made notes before saying like, this was a day old, so I have to give it a little bit of credit here. Okay. Yeah.

So I think, listen, you're a man of great donut integrity. You are the donut king. I think we appreciate the fact that you've got a lot of Fight Club rules to your situation. Absolutely. But I think to what Jake was talking about before, the real key to this is finding a way to get more variety. So do you guys as a family, do you ever take any trips? Do you ever go do things like that with the kid?

Not too often, but I could see a place where we take a day trip a few hours away and then try

Try something out. But here's what the problem is, Garrett. That's all for one donut. I know. What I'm pitching and hoping for is that they take a trip to another region and he's able to go five days of new donuts. Yeah. Just kind of ping around in five different directions and get a new one each day. But you're also saying it's like just a family trip or a trip with him and the wife. I agree with that. Here's a rule I would put on you, Drew.

I really think it's 12 new donuts, 12 new places a year. But I think per week, repeats are totally fine. Going to the same places, totally fine. Trying all of them. Therefore, if you take a vacation, those five days, then five different donuts, that's five months because you only need one a new place. So even though you did it in five days...

If you go to, let's say, New York, well, you've got this place in Brooklyn, this place in Queens, this place in Manhattan, this place in the Bronx, this place in Staten Island. Listen to me naming all the places. Yeah, you're a real borough guy. You're the borough king. Thank you. I'll tell you the trains to get there too. No, no need. I will, off camera. I'll call you after. I got to go after. I'll call you. I'll call you. I got your personal. I'm busy for the rest of the day. I'll call you. I'll call you. I'm busy for the rest of the day. I'll call you. Or I'll just text you a bunch. I don't know.

So here's the point of that. We got to keep this livable. It's the same thing with anything. If you overdo it at the beginning, you're going to burn out and you're going to say too much. You're the donut king for life. You're not the donut king for a four-year period. This isn't the donut president. So if you go and you do five days, that's five months. The rest of the time, fucking repeat. Eat and repeat. What do you think of something like that? I like that.

Yeah, definitely. So basically sit on the unreleased ones and trickle them out. Hey, Drew, let me tell you, we might not air this fucking episode until September because we bank them, baby. We bank them. So during the week, if you go off and you're eating, you're releasing those day of, here we go, keep it going, keep it going. But your once a month, your special new one per month, and there's only 12 a year.

If you need to, you bank them. And guess what? If you have a month where you realize you don't have one, it's the end of the month, strap the boy in the back and drive to anywhere you need to go. If it's a three hour drive, then it's a three hour drive. Yeah. But you only need to do that 12 times a year. I think it's doable. It is doable. It's definitely doable. I mean, if you want to be the donut king, you got to put in a little work.

Unless you just want to be a guy who runs and eats donuts. Yeah. Then you're the donut jester. What do you think, going back to the hard rules, which was the question, and that is 12 a year during the week you can repeat. And we will, obviously when this comes out, help the push to people who can reach out to you on your Instagram.

And see if a place wants to sponsor, if a place says like, come to us. There's also places that might be able to ship. Cause I'll tell you what, I tell you what, it can happen. They ship cakes and they're still fresh. They put them in those little, like with ice, whatever it is, the dry ice. Yep. There's ways to do this.

Uh, now that for you, driving my dream, absolutely. Just send me a donut in the mail. This is what we're trying to build. This is, we're trying to build a donut King. If you are a donut place and you're in New Jersey and you go, man, it's only a four hour drive from Connecticut. We'll spend the money. And guess what we'll do as a show. We'll give them a shout out. And then you'll come back on and give some reviews of the best places and we'll give their address.

i'd be very happy i'd be very happy if some donut place got business because of us because our main concern is keeping the king of the donuts the king of the land i'm i'm loving all this great so are we so much motivation okay and then i know you're going to create some sort of a list based of this or some sort of a spreadsheet

Can you send that to us? Any new reviews from here on? Yeah. And also, if you decide to put this, what we're talking about, into the rules to write down for yourself to see it, whatever you do in that brain of yours with this information, if there's anything to keep things organized, just keep us in the loop with the King's Orders. Yes. Okay. Yeah. I mean, at this point, I'm going to commit to one new shop a month. I think that's great. I do too.

And then repeat. And just remember, Drew, you're the king, like Jake keeps saying. So at times it's going to seem impossible. At times it's going to seem hard. At times you're going to be like, is it worth it? Should I be doing this? Is it OK if I fall back? And just remember, you're going for the gold.

So you're going to need to put in a little work, a little extra effort. You're going to need to dig deep. There might be nights where you got to go on a donut run that you didn't think you were going to have to do. But you're going to have to find these spots, these pockets you're putting in the work now to help out the future king. OK, that's right. That is exactly right. Drew, is there ever a race you do?

Or do you just run it? Yeah, I run a few a year. Well, maybe we can try to also, if anybody wants to sponsor him that's a donut company and give him a shirt, maybe the Donut King could be sponsored by, what's like your favorite donut place in Connecticut? Don't say it. We'll see if they reach out to us. But if there's a local donut shop and they want to make a shirt for you, give you a couple free donuts for a week, that could be cool.

Oh, yeah. I've actually bought shirts from all my favorite places. Well, for starters, in order to save money, stop buying the shirts. Yeah, come on. That's donut cash. Yeah, we need that to eat the donuts, not wear the shirts that sell the donuts. And for your Instagram, for your social media presence, might I suggest when you eat these donuts...

Let's also film you eating them and describing the taste. And let's have a specific chair you sit in every time you do this. And we call that the throne nut. Yeah. I love the name, but it's a process. I just like sit there and enjoy it after a long run. So it's like...

I got you. Like a half hour. Drew, you're the king. And what I like about you is you know what you don't like. I feel the same way. And we're hitting a very specific target. It feels like we hit it. So let's stick with that. And then follow up with us with what's going on. Keep us in the loop when the episode airs. We'll help kind of push stuff out, obviously. And, you know, things are going to go well for you, King. Yeah, you're the king.

I love it. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, King. All right, King. Oh, can I just say one more thing? No, we got to go. No, go ahead. Okay. I don't think any caller has said it yet, but I'd like to bid you gentlemen adieu or I don't, as Pepperwood would say. Yeah, we appreciate you, man. Bid you a donut, sir. All right. Thanks, guys.

And we're brought to you by Squarespace. We not only love Squarespace, I use Squarespace for all my personal websites, but we use Squarespace for the show all the time. Whenever we need to help a caller, we send them right to Squarespace. And we are not lying about how much we love and use Squarespace because we just did it.

The wigs and whatever. Suits and wigs. Wigs and suits party. And then just recently, we had a caller who lied to her boss and told her that she was taking a cooking class for a week, which just sounds insane to begin with, that a cooking class would be a week. Really, she was going off and doing some BDSM stuff.

Yep. So she didn't want to get caught in a lie. So we came up with the website for her and it is www.friendly shark.squarespace.com. The friendly shark.squarespace.com. You should, you have to check it out. It looks so legitimate. Our, uh, Caitlin and our patron subscribers all made it look like bulletproof. And if you haven't heard the episode, the caller's boss,

totally believes it. It's crazy. It's awesome. And the reason we can do that is because Squarespace is so user friendly, so easy. And it's not just websites. There's tons of stuff you can do there now. But anyway, we love Squarespace. If you need a website, if you want help building out your company, Squarespace is the place to go. So go to www.squarespace.com slash Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using the

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Hey everyone, Producer Kevin here. The original call from this next follow-up aired on December 7th. It's called We're Here for Selfish Reasons, and it's the first call in the episode. So, if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy! Hello! Hi there!

Welcome back to the show. We know you're a follow-up. Thank you. Yes, it's good to be back. We're so glad to have you back. We don't know who you are, and we don't know what your follow-up is. So why don't you bring us up to speed again?

Oh, perfect. Well, about November of last year, my name is Winter, by the way. I had called because I was, I found out I was pregnant and we came up with a really fun way to tell my husband. Oh, yeah. And yeah, we just had the baby at the beginning of this month. Oh, yes. I remember this. Aw.

Oh, look at that. What's the baby's name? Helper. His name's Harvey. By the way, dad's rocking a great. Dad is rocking a great mustache for early baby pics. Is dad. Thank you. Wasn't dad more of the fan. And when you brought him in, he kind of like lost his mind a little bit.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You guys look like a really beautiful family. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was it was pretty nuts. And so now I'm learning how to multitask and, you know, run on four hours of sleep. It's pretty crazy. I hear it really quickly. Oh, did you hear him? Is he around your husband?

No, he's actually working, unfortunately. He's got a new job. He works. Yeah. He works where? What?

Oh, he works for the railroad now. So he's actually on like nights and stuff now. It's kind of crazy. Perfect time to work nights. Honestly, I mean, how well played. Let me ask you this. Did he get this job at the railroad around the time Harvey was born? Because my guest, he was like, by the way, unfortunately, you're going to have to raise him at night. I'm working nights until Harvey's 18. There's nothing I can do. Oh, the baby's crying. I got to go to work.

No, I know. He has it so good, too. Like he got the job when we found out I was pregnant, too. So actually, when he goes on his train and he goes to the hotel, he gets 10 hours of like rest. So he's really good. I've got bad news for you. There's no train job.

I just watch his live 360. He just drives. Yeah. No, what he's doing is he's playing scratch offs and recently he's been up. So there's just going to be a big downfall. He's parked down the road doing scratch offs and he has some like a little thing of oil in his car. He puts on his face every now and then. So here's a possible bit that we could do on the follow up if you are interested.

Yes. So the first call, we surprised him on a Zoom and told him that you were pregnant, right? Yeah. Let's surprise him on a Zoom and say you're pregnant again. What? Is that even possible? It could be. Well, let's see. I'm right at like five. He's five weeks old, so I'm almost six weeks postpartum. Okay. Here's an alt pitch for you.

for that. What if we call him right now and say, you just got a job offer to work nights? To work nights too. If he would answer, I don't know if he can answer right now because he's on the train. That makes sense. But we could try to set up something like that. Yeah. I kind of feel like maybe we're, I will, we'll, we'll air this followup as is, but maybe we do another joke followup when the math works out for your guys's lives together. Yeah. That maybe we scare them with baby number two.

I like that idea. Because the first one, he was like, yeah, he's like, is this real? And then we're like, yeah. And then I remember he was like really excited. Well, the second time, I'll tell you what, you're working nights, you got a baby. You're not as excited about number two. Okay, how about we do this? This might be a swing for the fences. And maybe it's just once we have him hooked with baby number two. Why don't we say you got a specialty test that also tells you if it's twins and you tested positive for twins too. You got the double plus.

So let's do that. So congratulations to you. This is a really sweet follow-up. We're going to get out early on this one, but let's do another one and you reach out to Kevin and let's plan that one that in the middle of it, he comes in and we say the same thing, like congratulations is a follow-up and then we'll do what we did on the first one. We'll go.

But there's actually something your wonderful partner wants to say to you. And he'll go, what is happening? And then just really sell it. Because it'd be really funny if we're all quiet and he has to go like, awesome. Hold on. And then he like, that's awesome. Hey, Winter, let's talk right away once this call is done about a couple things. Okay. Sounds good. Hey, one more question, Winter, before we let you go. Does Harvey have a middle name?

Richard. Okay. Harvey Richard. I just wanted to see if there was any room to get Helper or Shark in there, just branding. Or Jareth. Or Jareth. We're working on it. Okay. I mean, if anybody's about to have a baby. Yeah. Jareth. By the way, we're floating that out there to anyone listening. Jareth. If you want to fit a middle name in there that helps the show, we'll have you on to talk about it. We just want to see some proof. How would you pronounce Jake with a G? Jake.

Gake. How about Gake? Gake. All right. We're insisting on it being Gake. Gake or Jareth, I'm happy with. I got to say, I'm really... You like Gake. You like Gake. I'm really into Gake. Little baby nickname Gakey. It's like a gay cake. I love it. Thank you for the follow-up. Thanks, Wintek. Congratulations. Congrats. Thank you, guys. We'll talk soon. Bye. Bye.

Jeez, Harvey's a little fucking yeller. Perfect ending with the cry.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson. And Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. And the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio. And our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh. And you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com.

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.