112: You're Gonna be a Doctor???
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And it is...

The show. We're back. We're back. Jake. We're at the end of a recording session. Yes. We had fun. Yes. We had good calls. Great calls. Some great follow-ups. This episode's going to be a fun one. Yeah, we really are finding that in the follow-ups, it's funny because a lot of times we don't remember what the initial call was, but a lot of times the callers either don't listen to it. It's been a little disappointing. Sometimes they get to the edge. It's been a little disappointing.

But sometimes it works. Well, we had a run for a while with our follow-ups where it was building momentum. Yeah. And then recently it's been a lot of, what were the pitches? You said something really stupid that we didn't take, but then what happened was this. And we go like, well, all right. There's some hits. There are some hits. There's some hits. But there's also, we take some hits. I would say an odd,

In all honesty, and I want to go around to get everybody's opinion, in terms of our pitches, what do you think our actual hit rate is? Not in terms of it being a fun call, but in terms of the person takes the advice and their problem is solved.

Shark, you start. I bet you have. Well, you want me to start because I think he's going to have a better grasp on the reality. Yeah, how come? Just because I think he's a little more connected to the callers and the world of that. I'm going to honestly say 40%. Wow. Yeah. I can't believe that shocked us.

Maybe 30? That's tough. Maybe, Garrett. Wait, you think that's low? Yes. I was going to say like 70. I was going to say 65 to 70. That's what I would think, but I thought you guys were going to be negative. Why wouldn't you be your real answer? Well, I would say probably about 60%. This is insane, Garrett. My answer is what I think you guys don't want me to say. This is insane. What is that? I was impersonating you. That's what I said, yes. You said...

40, we both were jarring. Jesus. No, I thought that's what you wanted. We wanted our real answer. I said no spin, real answer. The problem is there's someone we just don't know ever. Yes. But I would say that I think we get probably 60 to 70%. What was the 40 thing? I thought you were going to be negative, so I wanted to be very. Not yourself? Well, I wanted to temper it.

Do you want the temperament with saying 40, maybe 30? Or do you think I was going to say 10%? The reveal of what your guys' answers is... This will be the hardest show of all time. This is insane, Gareth. The reveal of what your guys' answers are going to be is also ruined now. I was going to say 68. Yeah, I totally agree. And I was going to say...

- Same, I agree. - But I think part of it, to your point, Gareth, is sometimes the 68, the other number, which I totally know, feels like we're so off that it feels like we're at 10%. - Wait, what do you mean the other number? What's the other number? - The 22%, right? Of 68? - 32. - That matters. - No, I got it, I'm 32. - I would say 15 to 20% are we totally miss, but we know it while we're missing.

I agree. They're 15 to 20%. We end the call a little awkwardly. Yes. Then there's some, there's about 15 to 20%. Well, we know that's a great solution. Yes. Then there is that middle ground where you go, I don't know, like the callers calling in who called the jet skis. Yeah. Like that one I thought was a big one. The, Oh, the one I was really thinking was Allie weekend. She calls in the dump in a hotel.

But then in the end... But she took some of it... Kind of. He was in the shower. She didn't. She just ran to a lobby and took it down. I think part of it is you leave the...

like you're about to play a game at Notre Dame and you're hitting the sign walking out to the field. Yes. And then the other team scores a couple touchdowns and you change the offense a little bit. Yeah, but for her, so our pitch at the end was talk to him and she was going to have a conversation, make it fun. An honest conversation. She ended up, and you guys will get the reveal at some point, but she held it so long she got a little sick. And then went like, did you talk to her? She was like, I had to because I was feeling sick. But what she did was she did one of our pitches. Gone.

Go to the lobby while he's in the shower. Go to the lobby while he's in the shower. That's a different animal. We were saying make an excuse, not run out. But that was one of our pitches. Yes. I forget whose, but it was pretty good. And then she also had the conversation, and now she still is making herself sick. Well, that's what I mean. I'm like, so that one has to be viewed as a miss. I agree. Where you're like a catastrophic, where you're like, wow. And then in the end we go, where are you right now? So you're like, huh. Yeah, I'm not doing well. I'm sick from poop.

Yeah. Hi. Hi, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you for calling. Can we get your name and something about you that you want to share and then what your issue is? Okay. Um, my name is Libby. Um, something that I'd share is probably that

Yeah, you can take a second. Just think about it. That's really a difficult one. Something about you that you'd like us to know.

I've watched new girl plenty of time. Okay. It's an adorable fact. Yeah. All right. So Libby, you, you watched a lot of new girl and then what is your issue today that we can try to help you with? Okay. I am calling in today to get help on a drunken application to American Ninja Warrior. Great. Um, yeah, my roommate and I did this one weekend in college and,

And we were not expecting a callback from them, but we did. We did get a callback. Great. And for video, an interview video. And so the question that we have is that if we were to follow through with this bit, how do we show them that we're the people that they want? Because we're very unqualified. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

You sent in the app. The application is merely filling out the application and you kind of lied on it. Well, we didn't lie. I wouldn't say that we lied. Well, let me ask you this, Libby, before you say anything else. Are you a ninja? Can you do the company? Can you do all the stuff? No, I guess. I guess. I guess we should get into what lying is. Yeah. You fudge the truth a little bit. You shouldn't be applying to this show. But you and your roommate, your buddy are not a couple of America, American Ninja Warriors.

No, not at all. We're just a couple of college girls. You're having some fun. Thought it'd be fun. Because guess what? It is fun. And guess what? You did everything right. Yes. All those shows should be pranked every day. Yes. Everybody should be trying to get on. Yes. The day of taping, they should go, are you ready, Libby? And you go, yeah. And it starts and you can't get up the rope. Yeah. Libby's in the water. And they're watching you and they go, cut. Cut.

Some maker's mark fell out of Libby's pocket when she fell in the water. And then you're trying to do like a rope swing thing and you go like, I will not do that. It seems scary. And they go, get out of here. And guess what? It's not live. They'll move on. Yes. But I think they do like to have the duds. They do. It's just you got to look. In shows like Wipeout, they do. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. American Ninja Warrior is pretending to be a sport. I think... Similar to the challenge. Okay, fair. Yeah, maybe Wipeout would have been a little bit more up our alley. But, you know, we...

We went big. So what is the next phase they're asking for? What do you have to do? A video. A video interview straight up? I mean, at some point they've got to be like... They want to see some ninjas. Yeah. They could also bring her in. But let me go ahead. What are they looking for?

So on the email that they wrote back, they said, show us your personality, a lot of energy, someone that's athletic, and show us our, quote, ninja-related skills. Yeah, of course. So you've... Now, okay, just so we know, do you want to keep lying? My instinct is let's keep pushing. Well, yeah, she wouldn't have called in. Okay, so I think...

I think you... Now, as far as without being too surface level, do you look like you could be on the show? It's a fair question. Maybe. Okay, great. I've played sports, but I wouldn't say I keep up with them. That's fine. Who does? You're young. Definitely...

Yes. I think we can. But I got a question, Libby. Can you run upstairs really fast? And when I mean really fast, I mean like fine, like medium. Yeah, make it to. Yes. Okay. Yeah. I would probably run upstairs. So here's what my move is going to be for you. Okay. We're going to, we could create something ridiculous at the beginning. And then we do a section of this stuff you do. It's just really pedestrian stuff that you do really intensely. Like where you're like run upstairs and you're like, oh, but it's timed. And then it's like three.

Three pushups. And then it's like jumping over a very small chair. Five jumping jacks, two pushups. But you're not doing it to what I hate. So you're intense. What I hate is when people are silly and they're letting the audience know. I also know this is really funny because then I go, what are we doing? And this is going to be like an interview or this is your- This is your follow-up video. Yes. And then they'll bring her in if they like this.

And dare I say, get a gi. Wear a gi for the whole thing. That's exactly right. And let's create a character for you. But what do you think about something like that if we create, and is it you and your roommate or just you? Are you guys like, is that a partners thing? Yeah, so it's going to be as partners. Okay. Now I got a question. Do you guys look anything alike?

Yeah, we look pretty similar. Okay. I was going to say, I was hoping for no, because I was going to say part of the bit is you guys say you're identical twins. Like that. By the way, by the way, I don't think we need them to look alike to say that. No, that's what I mean. I would say the better, the worse they look. Let's go Dungeons and Dragons. Let's do headbands. One does red. One does blue. Let's say we're identical twins. Let's do what Jake's talking about. We're going to show you breaking a ruler.

We're going to show you doing two crunches. Yep. But here's the thing about a ruler. I don't want anything silly. Too arch. I don't want anything where the people watching go, these girls are really funny. Okay. I want a board that you can go to get plywood at Home Depot. It should just be very thin. Okay. But when you break it, I want the whole Seagal setup where you're like, your fists are on the side and you go like, then you go like, huh!

And when you break it afterwards, your face should have a moment of glee. Let's. Of like, you're fucking dealing with a ninja. Yes. A smile. But you did it. Yes. And this has to be edited. Or not. Yes. Or you do it. Are you editing it? Libby, I have a pitch. Go. You do it all as a one-er.

A one take. Yes. Here's what I mean. You set up. You set up your own little course at home. Yes. And you say at the beginning, you guys go to camera, you go like, hey, I'm Libby. This is that we're identical twin sisters. We're always together. We believe we're the next great ninja warriors because our dad and our mom were ninja warriors. We've been doing this since we were friggin born. Or you just say the reason why we need to be on the show.

Just watch. I love that too. And then we do this. Yeah. The reason why we need to be on the show is because your ratings are sleeping. Yeah. Why? You need us more than we need you. Exactly right.

I kind of like that. I do too. And you go in there. Yeah, that's really good. You could also do another thing where you set up a really weird backstory. You do fast where you go like, we've been doing this since we were kids. My dad used to work on a crocodile farm and we lived out of a bus. And the reason we became ninjas was there was three crocs who used to live on the bus with us. And the way dad would feed them is at the end of the day, you just throw a big fish in the back.

And it was me and my sis in those Crocs. It was either us or the Crocs. And we would just kick and scream, let's go. And then you enter a one-er routine where you run upstairs, you do three push-ups. Your sister, while you're doing the push-ups, sits on your back, looks right at camera and goes like, one, two, three. She can do more, by the way. Exactly.

Exactly right. That's just a taste. This is an appetizer. You want the meal? Buy the cow. Yeah. Then she gets on the bottom. You hold her feet looking at camera. You go one, two, three. She could do way more.

Then we do five push-ups. Then we break the plywood. And then we look into camera and say, we await the plane tickets. Exactly right. Our availabilities are every day. We are available whenever you want us. We have nothing going on. See, that's what I'm telling you. Too much. I need this. But I love... Well, this is just for one stupid example. I know. It's just to make nobody laugh at American videos or whatever. But what if you did something of the... Oh, here's the ending.

What if you had a big board that said American Ninja Warrior needs us and that's what you punch through? Or we get a big piece of paper that says American Ninja Warrior, Libby above it, and you run and jump through it and then do a kind of, how you kidding? Maybe that's the beginning. Yeah, could be. Yes, totally. I like the paper. I think I,

I don't think I'd be able to break plywood. Fair. But a piece of paper, a thousand percent. Okay. Do you like the paper at the start or the end? Is that your finale or your intro? I feel like that should be the intro. So they know that we're bringing the heat. Agreed. Now on that, are you going to just handwrite American Ninja Warriors or, hey, American Ninja Warriors, meet your next two ninjas? That.

I think, yeah. That's what we're doing. Okay, so that in marker. Don't do any funny drawings next to it. Don't do stick figures of yourself. Try to actually do the best handwriting you can so when they turn on the thing, it starts off seemingly real. Yes. Here's what we're looking to have happen. We're looking for some PA in that department to leak this online and for people to think this is the worst audition that has ever happened. This is what happens on those shows eventually, though. Like, it's like...

American Idol or America's Got, they like the dud too. I don't know if this show does, but I think you're going to, you're going to get eyeballs on it. And what do you think about what, what are we calling your roommate? You're Libby. She's what? Abby. Libby and Abby. Perfect. What do you think of the idea that you guys are identical twin sisters? I think that, I think it'd work. Okay. Right. What do you think you guys are going to wear? Yeah.

Okay, so we have a dog and we have a red pair of socks and a blue pair of socks with the dog's face on it. Okay. So I think that we'll start from there. So that's not much to start with just, you know, that is a pair of socks. What are you going to do about the knees? A thousand percent.

Um, we're, we have a matching, um, this student made honor roll t-shirt. So maybe we can do something with that. Okay. What do you think about karate outfits? Yeah. Is there any way we can get a geek going on? Cause what we're thinking is you're thinking kind of cute and funny and we're thinking ninja.

Well, Ninja. Yeah. Yeah. So I love the socks. I think the socks are great. No matter what. But they are socks. But they're socks. So I don't think we're going to be jumping through paper and then the camera is going to pan down and see the feet. I might see them when we're doing crunches. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe in a kick or whatever. But I think if you can order a gi or two gis,

It just steps the comedy up nicely. - And I gotta tell you, as a guy who over my life has bought probably 650 geese, they're not that expensive. - Crazy, crazy stuff. - Way less than that, probably. - Crazy, though. - More than 400. - You have a gee right now? - I have 400 geese. - You have geese? - Yeah. - Okay. Hold on a second, Libby. Libby, hold on one second. When are you wearing your geese now? - When? - Yeah. - The second I get home 'til the second I come here. - You ever wear one to jujitsu? - I do no gee now.

Your little tackle buddy? Your little fake man? No. You put a gi on him? You like him naked? I definitely put him in. I don't like him naked, but he prefers to be pantsless. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You ever put him in an outfit? Yeah. Okay. All right, Libby. So what do you think? I mean, I think if we can get you a gi or two. I think if you jump through paper. Your identical twins. Jump through paper. Jump through paper. Identical twins. Start with some push-ups. Move into sit-ups. Three jumping jacks. Break some plywood. Libby, what do you think about a one-er? Just setting up a camera.

I think we could do that. However, I think it'd be more difficult. Yeah. But I think if we were to pull it off, it would add to the effect. Yes. What is, when you say more difficult, in what capacity? Because you have to move around the space? It's just like. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, if you think it needs to be edited, okay. And dare I say, at each cut point, let's put an eagle noise. An eagle noise is a great idea. Yeah.

Sound effect. It's a great. Just an eagle noise every time. I think that is excellence. And what do you think about then if you're doing this, what could you do in the neighborhood? And I don't want silly, funny, pushing a shopping cart. And you guys are so charming because they're going to want the, I'll tell you what, the second they think you guys think you're funny, they've turned it off. Yeah.

So what can you do in your neighborhood that's kind of athletically challenging that you can do it kind of an okay way, I guess. Throw a few bricks. Is there like a hill near you? Are there steps? A bar? Is there an obstacle? There's a bunch of hills near me. Are there? Yeah. Can Abby look at camera and go...

that hill's about however high you just get a soft measurement and then go she looks at camera takes a stopwatch hit start you start running up this you when you get up there no matter how long it takes you yell i'm done yeah she stops it and goes like only 48 seconds a lot of people get winded when they walk up that thing yes and then but so hill is great right uh what else do you have around that could prove because here's what we're trying to prove lovey

Actually, why don't you tell us what makes you a ninja? Not that pause. Not that. You know what a ninja is? Maybe it's an animal. Yes. They want me. They want Abby and I because we are what they need on the show. Yes. The other people, yeah, they have the muscles, but we have the entertainment for the viewers. Okay. But hold on. Which is what?

Okay. No. But we need to go serious. Yes. But also, when you're saying that... Let's... Instead of calling... Like, don't call out exactly what this is to them. Show them. I think you say, we might not look the strongest. Hell, we might not be the fastest. What do we have? And one of you goes, the wow factor. Yeah. And we call it the wow factor. And that is...

You are saying tongue in cheek, it's the entertainment value. But I do think we want to make it seem like you're trying in earnest. So let me ask you a question. Do you actually want to be on the show or do you want to just make the audition tape? I want to be on the show. Okay. And how do you think you would do on the show? Not well. So that's why we need to leave that part out of the conversation. We have to get you onto the show. So this reminds me, when I lived in New York, I was pretty broke.

And I had a moment where I thought, I saw a couple of people busking down at Times Square. I've heard this. Yeah. And I thought like, I'm going to go busk and I'm going to make a bunch of money, but I didn't have a routine. No. And I just started. Sure. And you get revealed really fast. Right. So if that's what we're building to, that's fine. But that's not what this audition tape then is. What you just did with, when you just started talking about Abby, I like that. Maybe you jumped through paper.

You go right to it. You go right to the attitude. Gareth said something before, which I liked, and that was, we don't need American Ninja Warrior. You need us. And then you can go, now part of this audition tape is you want to see our skills. Well, for women like us, we don't do nothing for free. See you in LA. Camera goes off. Or here's just a taste. Here's just a taste. And then you go like this. In three, two, and it goes off. Yeah. Yeah.

But maybe you go in three, two, then you do an editing trick and you guys have disappeared and then you just hear one and then you hear an eagle thing go, wah! Yeah. That's the whole thing. It could be that. I like the idea that we see a pathetic sampling that we're treating like the end of the Rocky montage. I've got another pitch. Go. From the eagle thing. Okay.

What if rather than you guys doing athletic feats, you just show footage of wild animals? That's pretty good. And you go the same beginning. You punch through the paper. You set you guys up. We're identical twin sisters. We've never been separated for more than 10 minutes in our life. We grew up in a van fighting crocodiles. We've lived in every single country. My sister here swam to the bottom of two lakes.

Then you go, now you have asked to see what we can do. The best way to describe it is this. To show you what's in us. An eagle sword. Yeah. Then you go, or this. A gorilla climbing a tree. Well, you could go, the heart of an eagle. The strength of a gorilla. And you see the... And then you go... The venom of a snake. The power of a whale. A whale jumps out of the water. And then you go, my question to you is...

Can your show handle it? Yeah. Qua! I like that, too. It's almost like a ransom video. Yeah, because then you don't have to do the bad push-ups and the sit-ups or the running up the hill. You're just flirting.

Look, I mean, there's a couple ways we can go with it, Libby. I think either way, we're gonna play absurdity seriously. Either way, we're not gonna win American Ninja Warrior. No, and I don't think you're gonna get there, but you just might. And also, I think it's gonna be great for all of us when you make this video to see it. Yes, it's gonna be great. So Libby, the floor is yours. You are... Libby, you watch New Girl a lot.

You want to do American Ninja Warrior. You sent in the first application when you were drunk, I believe. We just kind of glossed over that. Yeah, it's awesome. Now they've followed up and you're going, what do I do? We've given you some pitches. Tell us what this video is going to look like from your point of view. Okay. So...

I like ideas from all the pitches. I really like the idea of the gi outfit. Right. That's it. Like the little karate suit. And then the eagle sound. Great. And then the running up the hill with the timer. Fun. And this like, and the push up. And then also just very mediocre moves.

Yeah. But we do. Yeah. That makes it look very impressive. Yeah. I like all those two. I think that's right. I mean, I think, look, go shoot it. Yeah. And remember, I do not laugh. Yeah. And take it seriously. This is you guys should be trying to come across as killers. Yes. And cocky.

And be like, but you've never seen that before. There's also something people do where they'll kind of do like comedy voices and comedy faces and that's to let everybody know this is actually funny. Cut that out. Yeah, not funny. Truth and comedy. This is serious. You do running up a hill timed. I'll tell you what, you already told us you're not that athletic. It's going to be hard. And then you're going to be in a gi. Yeah. And you know what's going to be funny? When you naturally need to take a break on that hill because running up a hill is hard as hell. Yeah. When you do push-ups,

doing them until you can't do anymore. So three's the bit. But what if you try to do 30? Yeah, what if you do 13? That's also hilarious. I agree. An earnest 13 is very funny. Funnier than three. Especially a 14, your arms are shaking. In real time? Yes. And then when you start struggling, when you're, ah!

And then before the struggle, your form goes bad. Your ass bobs up and then the cuts to the next thing. And then it ends with you running through a sheet of paper with a dumb little signature on there or something like that. And in camera going, let's be honest, you need us more than we need you.

That's perfect. Okay. Are you going to actually do this? Yes. Okay. Will you send us? We obviously need to see this. Will you send it to us? And the sooner you do this, the sooner we can air this and we'll connect it and we'll put the whole video up on YouTube with us. Okay. Sounds good. Okay. Good luck. Listen, good luck. Thank you so much. Appreciate you. We're bowing. Go get them.

Hey, everyone. It's the Shark. I'm proud to share with you all that we have received Libby and Abby's American Ninja Warrior audition tape. The link for that is in the episode description. You can watch along on YouTube. Enjoy.

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You can't go wrong with tech for everyone on your wish list. When you get a Dell PC with AI, it gives back. So shop now at dell.com slash deals. Hello. Hello, sir. Welcome to We're Here to Help, America's number one package. I'm looking up. Can we get your name, age, where are you calling from, and your issue? Yeah, name, Jake Hamilton. Whoa. Age. Middle name? Michael. Okay.

Your social security, please. Oh. Don't say it, Jake. What's your problem? Jake, don't say it. That's a test, Jake. That's just to see where we're at. Don't say it, my man. Checking your comfortability, Jake. So, Jake. Oh, gosh. You guys had me freaked out. We're going to get you back in a good groove. Jake, where are you calling from? Nashville, Tennessee. Nice. And about how old are you, Jake? 35. 35. And what do you do for work? You don't have to be too specific, but what field are you in?

I'm a PhD student. I'm about to graduate, hopefully, in cardiovascular research. So it's going to be a few smart people chatting. Yeah, this is just going to be three almost doctors chewing the fat a little bit here and solving a problem. So, Jake, if the question is something coming up on an exam, call me after. I'll get rid of old Worley and do that one on my own. Stop it.

Should we talk, by the way, Curly doesn't play into the Moe stuff too great for me, I'll be honest with you. But it's Curly and Moe now. You'd rather be Larry. Is this a ventricle issue, Jake, or are we talking atriums? What are we after here?

It's just parts of the heart. All right. We're getting to Jake. What is the question? Well, so I, yeah, I don't, I don't really focus on one chamber. Um, it's all, it's both. Uh, it's really more like basic research, basic cardiac contraction and how the heart regulates contractility. Respect the hell out of it. What's the question today, my man, what can we do for you, buddy?

The question today, okay. So I said I'm a grad student, so I'm broke. You guys know that probably. I go to a coffee shop to write my dissertation. I'm a regular there. I've gone almost every single day since February. They know my name, my order, 16-ounce medium roast, two scrambled eggs and toast. It was perfect for me, except one day about two weeks ago, I go in and all the staff had changed, and the change seems to be permanent.

The main new staff member there is probably a manager, is a chatty Kathy. And it's 7 a.m. and I'm trying to order and she'll talk to me about things that I frankly just don't care about. Instead of just pouring me my standard cup, she started using me as a guinea pig tester for different coffee formulations. Terrible. Yeah.

And recently when bringing my food order, she suggested that they're giving me too many eggs with my order. She said that this is actually four eggs and you should be getting two. Hate this. Causing me to be concerned that they're going to reduce my portions. So,

My question is, how do I maintain friendly relations with this new staff without having to be their guinea pig? And how can I get my eggs and toast without them skimping on my portion size? Jesus Christ. This is hard. Well, it's two problems. You've got to stop being the guinea pig and keep the egg intake. That's not two in there. Yeah, but I understand this one. So this is the obvious first one you're going to hear from the outside world. And I just have to throw it out before we go is,

Why not go to another coffee shop? Not a bad question. Yeah. I had that in the one-minute summary, and it made it one minute and a half. So I figured you'd ask. Yeah.

By the way, Jake, thanks for keeping it lean and mean. That's nice. Yeah. Appreciate you. Hey, no problem. No problem. Yeah. So this coffee shop is close. It's about five minutes from my house. It's on the way to the lab. My wife and I have a nine-month-old at home. And thank you. And we also have a dog. So it's just really convenient. Also, traffic gets really bad around 7 p.m.

It just works. And I've actually tried. In the time that I emailed you guys and now, I've tried another coffee shop and it just, traffic gets really bad. It just didn't go so hot. So ideally, I'd be able to make this work. Good pushback. Okay. Yeah, I agree.

Well, the first problem is how do you stop being the coffee tester? Or do we want to try to do them as one? Because if it seems to be a hard, it's hard, but it seems to be a big shift that occurred, obviously, with the new staff. And is it one person when you said there's that one lady who's talking about the four eggs to the two eggs? Is she also the guinea pig lady?

Yeah, yeah. It's the same lady. Let's give that lady a name. She might be the owner. Yeah. She might be the owner. Let's go with Courtney. Courtney. So Courtney essentially is the problemo.

Is that right or wrong? Yeah, I mean, that's right. Yes. Because it's just that, so he started working there. Courtney came, fired everybody else. Courtney goes, ooh, try this, try this. Also, your order is a little weird. The older people gave you too many eggs. But if it weren't for Courtney, you could say to people really quickly, and it's Courtney who small talks too much, right? Yes. Yes. And you actually, you said something,

Very casually, but I'm gonna I'm gonna bring it back around you said she fired everybody you might not be wrong because the old manager and I really liked each other and Whenever I asked about what happened to her everyone gets really cagey and doesn't really want to answer They just kind of give me a look and they're like she needed to take some time off So I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what happened. That's a nice way of saying dropped. Here's the issue. Yeah, they're in conflict and

You're asking for less of an experience on one side and then to keep more of an experience on the other. So you're saying, don't engage with me about my extra coffees and stuff, but I want to keep the egg. I need the favor of more eggs. But is it a favor or that's just what it used to be?

Like, you didn't get extra eggs on purpose. You know what two eggs look like, too. He's also going to be a doctor. You should know what eggs look like. I didn't get extra eggs on purpose, but I also did because, of course, they gave me what they gave me at first. But then I realized I'm getting really good portions here. Okay. And it's only like 550. So now I – then I got them every day. It's tough. But, yeah, now they're – So basically it sounds like Courtney came up and the reason the manager got fired was they were giving too many eggs. Yeah.

And they weren't trying to sell different types of coffee so they couldn't upsell. So you had, so yeah, I might be the main reason. Yeah. For the, for the whole or Mr. Hamilton, there was nine or 10 people that got too many eggs. And by the end of that, Courtney goes, our margins are fucked up. So the eggs are the problem. Oh, or the old manager was the problem. And you are now just living in a new world at this coffee shop. Cause I don't know how on God's great earth we can go back to, Hey, Courtney,

Can you give me those extra eggs at the same price? Stop chatting and just give me my coffee. This is what I think. Okay. I think we're going to have to ask for an extra egg and pay for it. But I also think we've got to get to stop the coffee tasting, which is annoying. Are you attractive? Is she attracted to you, Dr. Hamilton? I can answer for him, yes. She is, right? Nine-month-old baby, a doctor. You're hot. You're a doctor. Sitting in a cafe by yourself. Jake, you're hot. I'm not talking to you.

Give me some curling cream. I don't know. I don't know. That's a... Well, what's the vibe? Yeah, I mean, Jake, come on. Are you a fucking hunk? The vibe is she's talking to me about a lot of things. Is she doing this to everybody? This is an interesting point, Gareth. You know, that's a good question. This is a good question, Jake. By the time I get my coffee and actually finally get over to my little nook in the corner, I am not paying attention. But maybe I should. I don't think she is.

And this is what I would think. This is what I would say. I feel like you're leading us down a road. Here's what I think. I think the way to stop the coffee testing, this is the only, the pitch I have for the coffee testing is this.

You go in there on a day where you don't have to go in to work with your wife and your kid. And when she offers you the coffee, your wife says, you're doing lactose? I told you no milk. You make her be the bad cop for part of this. Just change the vibe of that relationship on the A side. So I think that's a way to shut it down and just make it awkward enough so that when you go back in there, she's not going to feel comfortable offering you a weird coffee concoction. Can I pitch on that? Yes. Of course. Spit take.

you're pitching that he does a spit yes she gives you a coffee that she tries you go oh what is this wow she goes hazelnut you go it's disgusting a spit take it's true and you go i'm can i get a napkin to clean it up and she goes yeah is everything okay you go i ordered coffee i'm so sorry that was disgusting it made me want to barf or an allergy the biggest problem with the

with the like coffee testing guinea pig situation is that I just want a 16 ounce cup of coffee and if it tastes better or worse some days than others, I don't really care. Yeah. I just want coffee. But isn't she giving you like, give me like half a cup and then she'll give me like, she'll say, try this and then come back and get

you know, the dark roast after. Wait, what? I didn't have it in me to be like, no, just give me what I want. So I'm going to go back to Gara's other thing. Are you sure she's not flirting with you? She's got it. Because this feels like such a move of like, so that you go back, it's like the cute bartender who's like, you go, can I get a beer? I'm not sure. I mean, she could, I mean, she's not, she's probably around my age. I haven't seen a man

or a woman. You haven't seen a man or a woman? That would be a potential partner for her, so I don't know. Jake, when you let out your ponytail, do you do like a slow shake, and does it like, are the beautiful waves kind of going in the air? Does it bead? And does she just kind of look at you and gets a little sweaty? This is why the wife came out. Are you hot, Jake? Jake, are you hot? Are you hot? I,

I guess. Do us a favor. I don't know. Take a goddamn picture of yourself right now and email it to Kevin, and we'll keep talking, but then we have to have a look at you. Are we doing this? Yes, we are. He's hot. He doesn't know he's hot. I can't decide how serious this is. This is serious, and I'll tell you why. Because what this might be is it might be a situation of...

You're making her day a lot better because she likes flirting with you and thinks you guys have a thing. And you come in and she might be like, he's here every day. I mean, I courted my wife. She was a day bartender and I went to every single one of her shifts. Yes. And so on those- Such a creep.

Thanks. Um, you corner. Oh, that's a good one. But what I did when I would go in there is we would do little things and we would have this little game that took months. Yeah. And so she might think you guys are in a little flirty thing that makes her mornings better. And she might think you're going, Oh my God, here I am. Just a guy. I'm so busy being a doctor. I didn't even realize what kind of coffee I like. And she's really teaching me a lot. New pitch. Yeah. Do you wear a wedding ring?

Usually, yes, but I'm extremely forgetful. Okay, sweet. So I can't guarantee it's on every day. Here's a new recommendation. You're going to go in there with your AirPods in, and you're going to pretend like you're on the phone. I like this a lot. Okay? You're distracted when you walk in. I don't have AirPods. Whatever. Whatever. You hold the goddamn phone to your ear like it's the 80s, okay? Hold on. Do you have FaceTime?

Yes, I have FaceTime. Do you have headphones that you use for your phone? It's not AirPods. No. Okay. It's just a crazy one. This PhD has been six years of just nothing but hell. You're in it. The world just left me behind. I get it. You're in it. You're in it. You're going to need to get just a fucking fake pair of headphones or a prop.

You're going to walk in there. He can do this. What if I'm discovered with a prop, though? Then you're insane. Jake, you're right. Hold on. How about this? Let me pitch on Gareth's pitches to clean this up. Go ahead. No, bring the notes in. It's okay. You were getting really intense about the fake AirPods. Then we're going to have a guy wearing little fake things in his ears. It's going to get caught. I was kind of excited to hear how crazy this would get. Imagine me walking in and being like, uh-huh.

Okay, yeah, that's great. Hey, can I just actually get the regular coffee? I'm on the call. Okay. I think what we need to do is... I mean, Sheila has the pie charts. Relax. And... Okay, great. Thank you. And you walk away. Nobody's going to rip it out of his ear and be like, who's talking? Wouldn't that only work one time? Yeah, but also, are you saying that... Are you going to pretend he's talking to his wife or he's just busy? No, he's on a work call. So here's where I'm going with it. I would maybe...

Can you ever, your wife's probably not going to want at seven in the morning to go to a cafe, especially with the baby, but maybe you can be FaceTiming with her while you're ordering so that she's on there and you're planning it. And then you go like, Hey, one second, I'm so sorry. Can I just get a coffee in the same egg thing? And then you go, okay, honey, what were we saying? Oh my God. And then you're so busy on this FaceTime with your wife and baby news that Courtney just goes really quickly. And if she goes, try this, you go, I'm so sorry. Can I just get the 16 ounce coffee?

Oh, here's what we could do, Jake. Take it to go once so that you go, hey, can I just get a 16 ounce coffee? Blah, blah, blah. The same thing I always get to go this time. Right. I'm in a hurry. And you go, I know I'm always here. I'm in a hurry to get back to my wife and my kid. The 16 ounce to go is great. I think it solves our coffee problem. Right. Yes. Because she can't. But it doesn't solve our egg problem. But I think it solves our coffee problem. What do you think, Jake?

I think it's worth a try. I'm worried that it's going to go back to the same dynamic when I don't take it to go, but it's worth a try. But how about this, Jay? You're saying basically just make it a little bit of a colder interaction than

There's got to be ways, yes, to seem like you don't have time for this. And signal that I'm married. At this point, it's just you don't have time for this. I think it's two. Okay. Because I think you're right about the time. I want this woman to know that you're married with a baby. I want this woman to know that

We think you're hot. I thought you saw a photo. Thank you. And that you don't have time for this. I want both of those at the same time. Yeah. And then the egg thing, I think, is the second thing. Once we start getting the coffee, enough she says, drink half of this and come back to me. I need you to confront.

Yeah. I need you to say, I'm so sorry. I have so much. I've got work to do. Can I just get a 16 ounce black coffee? You just want the caffeine. Yes. You don't want any of the extra fixings because you need the caffeine for work. And I think that's OK to say. I do. You could say it with a smile, but just say like, I'm really sorry. Can I just get the 16 ounce? And she'll go like, oh, yeah, of course. You also could say you can give me a sample, but I need that 16 ounce coffee.

Yes. Oh, that's good. What do you think of that? I like that. I like that. There we go. That gives her the option to be flirty. Yes. But also gets me my coffee. He knows he's hot. Because really, I don't care if she flirts with me. I just want my coffee. That's it. So could you say? That's right. So we've got that option. Now let's get to the egg. Okay, that's great. Let's get to the egg business. Yeah. So. Yeah, that's a little more complicated. Well, it might not be. So she gives you the thing. It's only two eggs.

You go, oh, I think there used to be more eggs here. Right. She says, I know he used to give you four, but it's two. And then put a look on your face like, okay, whatever. And then go, how much for an extra egg? Can I throw you an extra? Do you want extra money? Do you want more money for that? How do we do that?

Because you're basically saying, I'm used to eating four eggs. I got a crazy pitch. Okay. If we think she's going to cut your eggs down. She has. Okay. So I actually have information. She has. Okay. I have gotten. I love our show. Go ahead. Eggs and toast a couple. I've gotten eggs. I told you I go there every day. So I've been there actually a few times. Yeah. So I've gotten eggs and toast a couple times. And the egg portions were. Smaller. A little bit smaller. A little bit.

Just enough to where I wouldn't have noticed unless she had said that, but it's been consistently smaller. She cut at least an egg out. She cut it. Here's what we're going to do. You, in the morning, for the next week, are going to put in Tupperware two scrambled eggs.

And you're going to go in there. This is actually great. Well, you're going to go in there, and when they put the eggs in front of you, you're going to very clearly take out your egg Tupperware and put it on your plate with your eggs. This is great. Okay? They're going to see this. It's going to spur a conversation. Of weirdness. Yes. Sir, you can't do that. Sir, why are you doing it? Something like that. Yes. And you're going to say, I used to get more, and I need the four eggs for my breakfast. And then you also say this. I'm sorry. I'm a PhD. I'm so tired. I'm a young kid. I go...

I just, I love this place. I don't want to stop coming, but I'm used to getting the eggs. I want your eggs, but I don't want to be a pain. And you go, but I'm used to the 16 ounces of black coffee. I'm used to this and I'm used to spending $5 and you go, it's one of the most annoying parts about me. Ask my wife, but I need everything the same, but I didn't want to put you out. Jake, let us ring the God. I think Garrett nailed it with that. What do you think, Jake?

Um, it's, it's Jake. Listen, it's awkward, but by you, some, you got to run through the fire. I think if I'm going to do that, it might be easier to just break down in tears when they bring me out my eggs, just kind of bumble out. All right. Well, here's, here's what I'm going to say. But hold on, Gareth, I got to jump in here to defend your honor.

My guy, Gareth, gave you what I consider a home run. Thank you, Jay. This has been a hard call. It was a hard one. From the beginning. Not you, us. No. But it's like a low outside curveball. I was looking, honestly, to ground out. And afterwards, I was going to say we made solid contact. Yeah. I was going to pitch next, wear a shirt that says, don't fuck with my eggs, or I like four eggs, and just go, let's just get out of this.

Gareth created something where all of a sudden we're putting this idea that you're a weird creature of habit, but you don't want to put anybody out. But you have Tupperware, you get your meal, then you just very quietly put your eggs on it. She sees it and goes like, huh. Next time she goes to the chef,

Just give that one guy four eggs. Why? Because he's a weirdo. It's just better than crying. It's better than, it just shows that you don't want to be an inconvenience. You don't want to be rude. But they're going to have to ask you what's up. And if they don't, they're going to see it. Yes. So Jake, now we're at the point of the show. We go to you. What are you going to do? It's okay. Whatever you think.

Um, so I think, I think the idea of just, if she, if she wants to play with me and coffee, then I think the idea of just telling her as long as I get my, my 16 ounce cup, I'm willing to do anything. Okay. Great. Definitely going to do that. Knock that one down next. That, that one was a home run. We're batting a thousand there. Uh, the second at bat regarding the eggs, uh,

You know, the only concern, well, that's not the only concern. Go ahead. One of the main concerns is cold scrambled eggs are kind of nasty. But Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, hold on, Jake. No, he's not wrong. But Jake, here's what you got to remember. That is not the final part of the plan. You're going to have to eat cold eggs for a week in order for us to get you the four hot for the rest of the time. Run a mile to walk a block.

So we are. This is not the final solution. This is just how you're saying to them. They have to see me take them out. Yes. Yes. If not, what's the point? Well, how many people are in the bathroom or a back alley? It's not like Coke. Yeah. So how many people are in there when this day starts?

Uh, no one when I get there, but by the time I order food, it's usually about 8.30 and there's people in there. Okay, I think we're gonna be, I think you just, you don't need to make a big show of it, but you need, just like, you know when you put, when you put your change in the tip jar?

You want them to see it. You know, Eric Edelstein brings vegan cheese to Mexican restaurants. It's tough to hear. That was it. Go ahead, Jake. Hey, Jake, any pitches on how we get him to stop doing that? Or how can I fit more cheese in my pockets when I go? Sure.

So, Jake, I think on this one, that's our advice. We hope you take it. If not, I think it's time we got to start moving on to the next call. I think, Jake, and I'm not saying it because it's from us, I think you should try it because I think if someone takes notice of you doing this a couple times, something is going to change. I agree. In a good way. I agree.

All right. That's it. We want to know, so you let us know if this worked at all. And if you do something else, call in and let us know. Okay. All right. Sounds good. So now before we go, what are you actually going to do next time you go into this coffee shop? Egg-wise. Everything-wise. Well, it's going to be tomorrow. Okay. I'm going to order coffee. If she tells me she wants me to try a concoction, I'm going to say...

I'm happy to try that along with my 16-ounce cup. Done. Then you get the plate of food, and it doesn't have a lot of eggs. I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to hard-boil eggs. Smart. And I'm going to bring them in. Okay. And I'm going to be eating one when they bring me my plate. Jake, I got to be honest.

I love you. I didn't see that coming. It's so close to what we pitched, but crazier. But crazier. That's not going to work. What we want them to see is we want them to see how he's directly solving the problem when we give him the food. If you're eating a hard-boiled egg. Not, hey, we got an egg stowaway weirdo over here. I'll tell you what. If I'm Courtney and I see you eating a hard-boiled egg, I don't take it personally. I go like this. I've never seen that in my life. Yeah. I go, I don't know if that's a problem.

I just don't get it. I've never in my life seen somebody order eggs while eating a hard boiled egg. We're talking... We've been working at restaurants for 12 years. When you put it...

Never seen it in my life. Then she'll go, okay, doctor, get some sleep. Okay, buddy. However you want to handle life. Can I get an egg sandwich? Are you eating hard-boiled eggs? Yes, I am. Here you go. No charge. I'm married. But I'm not wearing a ring. Yeah. So if you do it, Jake, it's got to be. Garrett is right. It's got to be. You're so close to the pitch. Yeah. What is the difference with a hard-boiled and a scrambled? Because you hated the scrambled, but you want to do a hard-boiled.

Hardboils are just transportable. It's the same topperware, my kid. What are you going to do? Just put two eggs like you got extra nuts in your pants? This is madness. It's not easier to... You're going to put it in what, a plastic bag? There's something weird about what, Jake? I think there's something... Something feels weird about just like pouring pre-scrambled eggs onto... All right, Jake. Hold on. It is weird. That's what we're doing. Hold on. Let's meet in the middle, okay?

Chop up the hard-boiled egg? When they drop off your scrambled eggs breakfast, take the two hard boilers and put them on the plate. Yeah, I'm fine with that. You can also cut them up. Yes. Make it like a salad. Have them peeled. Okay.

before you go in and put the two hard boilers on the plate. How about this? How about this? Let's meet in the middle here, Jake. How about this? You make hard-boiled eggs, right? Yep. Have them peeled. Then just take a knife and chop them into little pieces. On the plate? Yes, but you can also do that before if you want. Sure, yeah, yeah. But when you go in, you're putting extra eggs on the plate. That's what we're looking. That's the whole point of this. I see, I see. No, it has to be.

It has to be on the plate. Yes. So I'm taking it. It seems almost like a power move. It is a power move. You're telling them. You're telling them. You're going to be a doctor. This is going to be a problem. You're telling them, oh, problem. Allow me to self-solve. I'm not a pain in the ass. Rather than. Exactly. I eat two eggs.

Then I eat two eggs. Yeah, exactly. You're letting them know that there used to be a better system that you depend on. You are happy to stay, but you are going to fill your sandwich with four eggs. Okay. Well, well put. Well put.

All right. Now, Jake, hold on. Eggs go on the plate. Jake, you walk us through what you're going to do tomorrow morning, and then we're going to need you to call back ASAP. Yeah, maybe like in an hour. This has been insane. So, Jake, what are you going to do? The floor is yours. Take us out of here, King.

All right. I'm going to go in tomorrow. I'm going to order a 16 ounce coffee and I'm going to be firm on getting that 16 ounce coffee and doing whatever else in addition to that, not instead of that. Yeah. And that's not rude. No, that's real. You're in a, you're totally in a money zone. Okay. Then you order your thing, you get the plate, you notice that

Well, I already actually messed up because before I leave in the morning, I'm going to hard boil eggs. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Before I leave, I have to hard boil eggs. Okay. Uh, I'm going to bring those with me. So then about eight 30, when I usually order my food, I'm going to get the eggs out. Okay. When they put the plate down, I'm going to immediately put the eggs on the plate. Yes. Cut them both in half. Look up and say, thank you. And smile. Yes. Yes.

Perfect. And also the adding of the thank you, really sweet, really weird, but great. Yes. You're going to come off great in this. This reminds me of the book club lady who at the end was saying... I feel like being weird is almost part of the power move. The weirder I am, the more they might not want to fuck with me. Well, I don't know if we need to bring... Listen, we love you. We want to go, but no. No.

You're not trying to come off as like... Crazy. Don't touch the weirdo. Let him eat his fucking home eggs. You're just saying they don't give you enough eggs. You're saying I'm a sweetie pie... I want more eggs. ...who just wants his consistency. I want four eggs. So... I'll price it too. So you put it... Yeah, I may as well just throw the eggs at them. No, just...

Thank them. Yes. Let them see your behavior. Someone will go, what the hell's going on? That's when you go, I love the four eggs. I miss the four eggs, but I don't want to be a squeaky wheel. So one last time, Jake. Okay. Take us out. What are you going to do? I'm going to go in, order my coffee, be firm about getting 16 ounces of coffee before I do anything else concerning coffee. Great. I'm going to order eggs and toast. Mm-hmm.

And when the eggs and toast come out, I'm going to put two hard-boiled eggs on the plate immediately, begin cutting into them, and say thank you. And then I'm going to start eating. Great. And by the way, if nothing happens, do this for a few days. Yeah. And then if there's nothing that calls back, we'll try something else that doesn't work. Yep.

This is our A-Op. Sounds good. All right. You keep us posted, goddammit. Okay. Sounds good. All right, Jake. Thanks a lot. Go get them. Bye. Bye.

This episode is brought to you by ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointment with them online. A dear friend of mine uses ZocDoc all the time. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Gil Buchanan!

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That's helloalma, A-L-M-A dot com slash here to help. Hey everyone, it's the Shark. The original call from this next follow-up aired on July 22nd. It's called Your Eyes Won't Believe What They Chainsaw, and it is the third call from that episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello.

Hi there. Welcome to the show. This is your second time calling, I believe, correct? Yes, that's right. Okay. You're a follow-up. So can we get your name and then just remind us what the initial problem was, please? Yeah. So my name is Kira, and I was dealing with a guy that we were calling Chinrash.

Oh, yeah. Chin rash. And we talked about doing skin care routine for him to see if it fixed it. He had an inexplicable chin rash that we couldn't figure out. He gave you the chin rash? Yes. Every time they kissed, she got a gnarly rash. And you had him shave. You'd still get the chin rash.

So we were going to have you do a flirty thing where when he comes over, you say, sit down, do a whole skin care and then see what happens. So what the hell happened? So he came over and I was trying to get him to do the skin care. He's like, why do you want to do that so bad? And I couldn't convince him to do it. And so I finally told him, I was like, look,

I went on this podcast. They told me to do it. We should do it. I told him about it. He thought the whole thing was hysterical. He wanted to tell everybody he knew. He thought it was so funny. Yeah, let's do the skincare. So we do the skincare. He won't let me film it. He's being all weird. Fair. Because you guys asked me to film it. I couldn't film it. Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. We ask. Nobody wants to be a rash guy. Yeah.

Right, right. We do it. Unfortunately, I do still get a rash on my face. Maybe the worst I've ever gotten. Actually, it was kind of wild. Weird. But then he was like going on a boys trip like a few days after that. I barely hear from him until he leaves. Never heard from him again. I think I weirded him out with the podcast.

Wow. What a turds. This isn't sour, Garf. No, it isn't. Well, no. Go ahead. Let me tell you how sometimes we run a mile to go a block. Akira, he wasn't the right guy. You're right. He gave you a disgusting rash. Imagine that in your life. You want to live with a face rash?

Well, and you're not the first person to go through the ration dash. No. And this is a common. This happens. So guess what? You didn't have to say I'm dumping you, but you did say I'm dumping you by saying your face is gross. Let me skincare you. I called a podcast because your face is gross. You dumped him. Am I wrong, Kira? You're not wrong, but okay. So Kira, did you tell him the name of the podcast?

I did. He was like checking it out. He, he, that's why I'm a little shocked because he seems to think it was so funny and he was so excited. All right. How about this? How about this really fast? My man, if you're listening, Colin, email the shark and we're going to get your side of it. I, I think it's okay. So how long ago was this that you haven't heard from him? When was that? Like, how long has it been?

It's been a few weeks. So I was going to say, I have this theory. He was going on a boy's trip and he told me he was going to tell all his friends about it. So I have a theory. He thought it was funny. He goes on this trip, tells his friends about it. They're like, dude, what the fuck? That is so weird. And now he won't talk to me. I don't know. You know, I kind of, here's what I really think happened. I think he did have fun with it. The dust settled a little bit and he went, seems like it's not working.

I'm giving her a rash. She's wanting to skincare me. She's going on a podcast. There's a lot of fish in this sea and maybe my face chemistry and somebody else's just works better. And I think he said, great gal, a lot of fun, but let's jump, let's rub faces with somebody else. He's doing you both a favor. You're right. That's what I was going to ask. Like if let's say that you kept getting this rash, could you have stayed in this?

It's insane if you say this. Well, I don't know. That was the whole, like, it's just unfortunate because he did have a good personality and you only meet so many of those. But I don't know. Hold on. It was going to be a conversation. It was going to be a conversation. Rewind. Rewind. Somebody tell me if I'm wrong. Wasn't the first call you liked him, but it wasn't that serious? Yeah. Why are you rewriting history that you lost Prince Charming?

But you can't say, you know what? This restaurant's fine, but the spaghetti is only OK. But it's it's close to me and it's convenient. And then it closes down and you go like it was the best spaghetti. That unfortunately is the dating world. But now you already gave a review of seven out of ten. Oh, yeah. No. But listen, you eat cold spaghetti. Oh, when when you can't have them anymore, you're like that was a fine Italian pasta because it's gone. Yeah. And you're just like, oh, it was good. Yeah.

So to the boyfriend who disappeared. Yeah, the rash and dash. Feel free to reach out to the show, man. Yeah. By the way, she doesn't have a rash on her chin anymore. So guess whose fault it was. Kira, we appreciate the call. Thank you, guys. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson. And Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. And the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio. And our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh. And you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

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All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.