165: Wayne Brady's Family Rules & Another Tuesday in Amsterdam (with Wayne Brady)
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How you doing, Wayne?

I'm good. I'm good. What are you doing right now? What set are you on? Right now we're doing Let's Make a Deal. I'm doing Deal today. Oh, fuck. You know what? Can we just start right now really fast and then we'll take the call in a second? Are you comfortable talking about Let's Make a Deal on the show? Yeah. Great. Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about everything. We are here with the great Wayne Brady. We're doing this really fast just because what's it like hosting Let's Make a Deal? That looks so fun.

It is fun. I've made it fun. And the team has made it fun. Because it's not like if anybody's watched it, to the chagrin of some people who are hardcore game show fans, and I know people that are purists because they let me know what they think online. But for everyone else... We've heard that too, my friend. But for everyone else, it's a blast because it is an improv...

sometimes sketch show that is a game show. Yeah, totally. And that's why it's become a...

the biggest blast. Like I just couldn't host a show and have a big ass mic and go, well, well, where are you from? And what do you do? Cause that's not me. So the fact that they let us make Monty Hall's baby into this vehicle, it's, it's the best of all worlds. I get to improvise. I get to do characters. I get to do songs and I get to give money away to people and change their, their lives. It's a big ass win. What a blast, man. It's great. It's also the best, uh,

place to drive by in L.A. when people are waiting in line to get in because it is a wild looking line with the costumes.

Oh, surely. Surely. When we used to shoot in Hollywood, we used to, well, we've shot at a bunch of places now. We're here in Glendale. But when we were in Hollywood, just like you're saying, there was a line around the corner of people dressed up. You know, you got people dressed up like Conan the Barbarian or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups or Sexy Nurse.

or sexy Conan or sexy Conan's nurse. And it's absolutely crazy. And in the beginning, not judgment, but I used to do this thing of where I would look at people like, this is just crazy. And I questioned myself for like six minutes. I'm like, what the hell am I doing, man? I'm, I'm, I, I,

Like, it would be crazy that I'd go and I'd do something really artsy like Hamilton. Yeah. And do that. And then I'd come back. And the next thing I know, there's a dude dressed as grapes yelling in my ear, give me the car. And I'd be like, what the fuck am I doing? Right.

And then I realized that it's the best. It's the best because I get to see these people have fun and let their guard down. It's an improv show on mushrooms. It is the coolest gig in the world. Yeah, Wayne, you've created a great career for yourself. I gave you a lot of talk when Wayne was in my movie Self-Reliance. If you haven't seen it, see it on Hulu. He's great in it. But you've really created, because I know you and Gareth knows you from the improv world.

Right. Cause your improv is, I mean, you're one of the fastest. Oh, thanks man. Well, coming from you, I'll take, take, take that. Thank you. Well, you are man. And like, you also can do everything. You're also like a song and dance man and you can hit that. And then I remember I was, we were talking about it when we first met about, then you did the Chappelle show bits. And that's when I was like, Oh, there's a whole nother Wayne Brady that I didn't even know yet. What would, what was that one like for you?

Well, it's interesting that when you say it like that, just because you didn't know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I realized that, and you probably feel this, I think any actor does, right? Yeah, for sure. Because when people know you, like in this lane,

you know that there's all this other stuff and there are other gears, but you can't be mad at someone. This is a rule that I told myself over years now, it's a mantra. You can't be mad at people for what they don't know. You can't be mad. Because I know that as an actor,

I can do X, Y, and Z. I've played bad guys. I've played super villains. And then I get to do who's lying. And then I'm on stage doing serious fun shit. But there is someone that goes, oh, hey, you're the dude that's on the improv show or you're the game show guy. And that's what you do. Yes. So when you do something like the Chappelle show,

To me, I looked at it as you want to be educated. I'm going to educate you on one of the dopest sketch venues possible. And besides it being funny, show you that other gear of, oh, no, if this were a movie, this shit would be real. And I really dig that. Only in this profession do you have a chance to educate people properly.

all the time as to who you are. And now it's fun. I used to get pissed off about it and have a big chip on my shoulder, but now it's fun. Now I'm like, okay, well, if you don't know, now you know. - But I also feel Wayne, it's similar in that is, so Gareth and I will talk about it 'cause in this podcast, this is just this side of our personality and this base knows us for this.

And then you go do something else and it's a whole different side. What I like about this game is, like right now my buddy Joe Swanberg and I are putting a movie together. When you were asking if I'm gonna do something after Self Reliance, what I've really leaned into is my friends who are directors being like, "You wanna do all that work and I'll do this?" Like I did The Dink with my buddy Josh Greenbaum. Now I'm back to Joe. Joe and I made Drinking Buddies together, win it all, a bunch of movies.

And with him and I, as we're putting that together, I'm like, oh yeah, this is this side of my personality that this world, and you go like, well, that's the fun of it. Like at home, you're your real self. And then on each kind of thing you're doing, you're like, oh, I get to do this side of it, which I fucking love.

But it's like hanging out with friends. You hang out with a certain friend who you're going to talk to a certain type of shit. You go, oh, great. We'll just lean into this all night. And then as you're driving home, a different friend calls and you're like, oh, this is the more serious one. Now we're into this tone. Absolutely. Great. I love them all.

- All of those levels and that's the fun part of being an actor or a creative in general. Just like do what you're gonna do, it's very gig specific. That's what I call it. - That's exactly right. - It's gig specific. - Well, so for this, what we do is we're taking calls,

We, Gareth and I, do not know what they are. There are no rules to the call. You, sir, have no rules. This is a different side of your personality, too. Yes. This is what kind of advice you give. So we are going to hear the call live.

Whenever you feel like jumping in, jump in. If you have a question, ask a question. If you want to give advice, give advice. If it's good or bad, it's me and Gareth's job to get to the end of it. It's your job just to enjoy the call and do whatever the fuck you want. Let's go. But we have now done around 350 of these calls. So Gareth and I, I now do it at this point because I truly love it. So we're going to dive in. I need the money. Okay.

Gareth loves it as well. By the way, Wayne, it ain't about the money. But so you'll see. So we're just going to dive in. And as soon as the caller, the premise is the three of us are in a bar. Our friend calls in. They're part of our group of friends. They got a problem. They're coming to us. We're going to help them try to solve it. Oh, this is dope. Okay. All right. So without further ado, enjoy the show. Hi.

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It just has it all. So no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Hello? Hi. Can we get your name, please? My name is Becca. Becca. And where are you calling from, Becca?

I am calling from Lafayette, Louisiana. Louisiana. Cool. And, uh, Becky, you got me and Gareth, but you also got the great, a man who I love who was in my movie and crushed it. Mr. Wayne Brady is joining. So you got three shooters, Becca. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Hi. So let's just jump into this one without any of the weird questions and get to know you as you go. Uh, Becca, what is...

What's the issue today? What can we try to help you with? So my issue is with my youngest kid. I have two girls. My oldest is like your typical people pleaser, rule follower kid.

The youngest has that twinkle in her eye, the, you know, like unpredictability, a little frightening. She started dropping the F word about two years ago. So she's four now. This started when she was two. Got any audio of it, Becca? Yeah.

I wish because it's fucking funny. It is funny. Can you do me a, can you do me a, you're a hundred percent right, Gareth. As soon as we brought it up, you dropped your first F bump. So you got your oldest, what are we calling her? Her name is Reese. Reese. And what do we call them? The little swearer. Quinn. Quinn. Cool names. Okay. So, all right. So you got, so Quinn's swearing. What else we got?

So she, it's become a problem at school. Of course it has. But a little backstory. It came from school. I know it doesn't sound like it.

I promise it came from school. It came from you. Sure. Oh no, no, no, no. I learned it from you, mom. It came from fucking school. I promise you it came from fucking school. I learned it from my fucking mom.

Oh my gosh. By the way, you guys remember those commercials out of the 80s? I learned it from watching you, Dad. I learned it from watching you. What was the drug in that spot? I think it was Coke.

Yeah, it was drugs. Yeah, I remember it was drugs, but I remember the thing where he walked in the room, the dad goes, I learned from Wood. It might have been weed. Yeah, he bust the kid. Yeah, because back then, weed was the devil's horned substance. Weed was the F-bomb of the drug world. Yes, weed was very intense. And getting it was like high stakes. You had to page a guy and meet outside of a 7-Eleven to get a dime back. Hang out for like a day and a half. Nearly get killed. Yeah.

All right. So Becca Quinn swearing like crazy. You're claiming she learned it from school. Keep going. Okay. So she, she started bringing it home, which is why we, we figured it was from school. We had other issues with the school, but the first time she said it was to my sweet, sweet mother. And they were like, they were playing with some blocks and she looked at my mom and said, well,

what the fuck is this? And I'm like, great. Awesome. So my mom comes to tell me and I'm like, okay, well, what do you think in there? Hold on. Well, I'm thinking, you know, even just from that, there's a difference. Quinn is four, right?

She's four now. She was two at the time. She was two. Okay. Context is in place. As a person, as a father, I have a 22-year-old daughter now, so I've watched one human grow up, and currently I have a two-year-old. So I know the sweet spot that you're talking about. Now, what you're talking about, at first when you said that the kid is dropping the F-bomb, there's a difference between, oh, it's so cute, when Lil goes, ah-ha-ha,

Hey, daddy, daddy. But Quinn put together a sensibly what is a very point is a what the fuck is that with a level of aggression that out ages? She did. I think your child is possessed. I think that I've already solved it. We're not starting with we're not starting with she's I also think she's not.

Okay, so first pitch from Wayne is your child possessed by Did she have the stigmata? Yeah. My sister, like, we were trying to figure out words to describe her for you guys. And my sister said, just go with witch.

Okay. Maybe this was right. I did not think this was right, but maybe it's right. So you're all right, Becca. So New Orleans. Yeah. Very true. She's like in the coolest way. Like I want to be a little more like her. She's cool. She's a cool kid. Okay. Okay. All right. So Becca, keep going. So Quinn came home at two. She said to grandma, what the fuck is this? You think there might be a little bit of witch in her in a cool way. Keep going.

So the next time she was just recounting her day to us and she started talking about this fucking girl at school. And I'm like, she's saying it like that. I played with this fucking girl at school. And I'm like, oh my word. So we tried talking to the school. They said it was another kid. But like the way she's saying it in context, I just, you know,

And again, we had issues with the school. So we pulled her out of that program, put her in a new program. So it kind of fizzles out until recently. And she couldn't, we were trying to go swimming. She can't get her dress off of her head. It gets stuck on her head. She can't get her fucking dress off her head. She says, I can't see with this fucking dress. And I'm like, I mean, at this point, it catches us off guard. My husband and I are like,

dying laughing because what else do you do i mean like she's using this perfectly um so at this point we're still like okay you know maybe maybe that wasn't the best you know maybe it wasn't the school maybe if it wasn't the school as you already switched program and it's still going on fair question for you question um

If it isn't demonic possession from the other world, have you lost any relatives within the past five years? Any older relatives? Has anyone fucking died is what Wayne's asking. I can't believe Steve isn't on this call. Because if so, I believe I've solved your problem with the level of sophistication and the syntax used with the fuck word. It sounds like your daughter,

is actually the reincarnation of someone that you've lost. Ooh. Who drops the F-bomb. I don't know if my grandma ever used the F-word, not to me at least. When you were around, right. She didn't like you enough to use it in front of you, or she loved you too much to use it in front of you. Payback time.

Right. Now it's payback. Okay. So Becca, this is, this is a route we could go. I don't know what we could pitch on that, but we could maybe find a way to get in touch, but holy water. Yeah. We're not, we're not fully finished with our setup though. So Quinn is shooting F bombs. She's now out of the school program, still doing it. She can't see past his fucking dress.

Uh, she also wants to, she also wants to be fucking Spider-Man. So not sure about that one. Um, but it, it, now the, the new school is like, Hey, by the way, you know, yeah.

Yeah, she's using the F word at school. And making other kids swear. Yeah, she's the bad, yeah, that's right. She's patient zero now. Yeah. She likes to bring her friends to the bathroom because that's where we say potty words. So she's recruiting kids now and taking them to the bathroom to say bad words. She's really cool, I swear. She's cool. She's super cool, if I'm being totally honest. Yeah.

She's also, she smokes Parliament Lights. She sounds awesome. She drinks delicious cocktails. She smokes Kool's. Kool's, yeah. She drives with her knee. If she smokes Kool's cigarettes, this is the coolest kid I've ever seen. Kool's cigarettes in the 80s were incredible. Oh, yeah. My mind immediately goes to, like, delinquent. Are we going to have, like,

Yeah, for sure. Juvenile, you know, like, oh, dear Lord. But Becca, wait, you said something. I just want to, you said she takes the kids to the bathroom to use that language because that's where you use potty words. Do you like take her to the bathroom to swear now? Is that what you're saying? Or do you go in the bathroom and swear? Yeah. Where you're like, my fucking dog. So, so,

you know, like you tell a kid not to do something, they're just going to do it. Right. So we had listened to a podcast and she was like, Hey, you know, if you just give them a place to say it, then it's at least contained. No, no, no. This is as 2025 podcast bullshit as I've ever heard in my life. That's horrible. I'm not above like soap in the mouth, but I was like, well, let's try something else before we go like her still does.

Well, something else in the mouth. Easy does it over there. No, what I'm hearing. I don't understand. I'm dating his mother. Oh, well, I wish you to the happiness. She's a wonderful woman. Wait, no. All right. So Becca, what is this? What is the specific question? Right. So I'm not, I know that it sounds bad. I'm not totally convinced that she knows what worked. Cause I picked her up from school.

And I tried to like, get it out of her. I'm like, Hey, your teacher says you used that word today. Like we need to nip this in the bud. Like, let's stop using it. She's like, Oh yeah, I said butthole. And I'm like, well, you know, and so I said, you know, like, that's not the word maybe like, she's like, Oh yeah, I said, shut up too. I'm like, also you're just, you know, just paddling on yourself here. Delinquent. I'm like, okay. It's like,

She was like, mom, which word is it? And I'm like, oh my God, I'm not going to say this to her face. All right. This is back up, back up, back up, back up. I don't need to hear how your kid hustled you. We all understand your kid's hustling you. There's not a listener right now going, the kid doesn't know. They think it was butthole. While the kid's going, come in this fucking bathroom. I'm going to teach you some fucking things and give me a C note, you little bitch.

Your kid's hustling, robbing kids down in Louisiana and tricking you too. That is not what this call is about. What is the specific question that these three gentlemen can help you with today? And if the thing is my daughter is not hustling people, I'm hanging up the phone because she's hustling everybody. Also, there's no phone to hang up. Really? This is a Zoom. So that's an empty threat. Just so you know, Becca, his point should be well taken. I'll press the leave button. That's right.

But I will make the noise. I'll go... You know what? Wayne will make the noise, and that is really painful for you to hear. Yeah. All right. Give her the goddamn noise, Wayne, if she keeps going. Come on, Becca. Specific question. Yes. How do I get my four-year-old to stop saying...

Okay, I got you. So you don't want to bring up the word for some reason. So really quickly, and then Wayne's got something, and I want to hear what he's got, so save it for a second, Wayne, because I do want to hear it. What is this fucking theory about...

A four-year-old swears, you say, go in the bathroom and let them rip? What is that? It's weird. It's more like a containment thing. Like, you tell a kid, you can't say this word, and they're going to take it upon themselves to say it as much as they can.

You know, you give them a place to say it. What is the podcast you heard? What podcast recommended that? Hey, Jake. It was probably us. Hey, Jake. My preschool also does this. This is a very common preschool thing. What? Yes. For my three-year-old, yes. So what did Nat Attack explain what they do? I don't get this. If they say potty words, they have to say them in the potty. Well, my kid's not saying fuck, but he is saying like poop and pee and butts.

And so you say that is the whitest thing I've ever heard in my life. Agree. And also it gets worse. So just FYI.

Oh, sorry. That felt like you were actually making more of a point. We were all waiting. No, no. I was telling that poor girl that the potty work would get worse. Nat attack. Okay, so hold on. Just because I'm now, and I know I'm still going to the setup a lot, but this one is truly confusing me. So, Nat, you're telling me when your three-year-old is assigned to go to the bathroom to swear with just all kids? Yes.

Yeah. I mean, I don't do it at home. He just says whatever he wants at home. But that's that's I don't know if that's right. That's also not right. Wayne, take over for a second. What do you got, sir? Look, y'all. Becca.

Just my opinion, hearing this, you love your kids so much. And as a parent, I hear that warmth, I feel that warmth, it touches something within me. But as a child who was raised in the South and I was raised in a generation of, if I would have ever, I didn't curse in front of my mother until she even saw me do a live show when I was like 30, when she came to one of my comic gigs.

We just don't... There's a... You love your child so much that I'm hearing almost a pride because you even say, she's so cool and this thing... If the energy that you give your child is, you're so cool because you curse...

I'm going to let you go in the potty and do this weird ass new age bullshit curse in the ether. Candyman, Candyman three times. And then I curse and it's OK. Your child is getting a mixed message of I guarantee you, if your child knows, even at the age of four, that they that there are words they cannot say in your vicinity.

Or in another adult, they won't. But they can feel the fact that it's amusing to you and maybe your partner, your family. So you're shaking your fist and you're giggling at the same time. That's a mixed message to a child. If I was a child, I'd say, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck, too. Because I know that it would get a reaction. So I don't...

So you're asking for help, but I don't know if you can really get help. Yeah, we're going to help her. Wayne, we're going to help her. But can you put the genie back in the bottle with that one? Is that, or is that goose, like if the kid already knows that it's fucking funny. Yes, but here, I think you can, Gareth, but here's the beginning of it. And I did not say Garrett. I said Gareth, but the H was silent. I didn't say Garrett. It's a super weird way to say my name with a silent H. But it came off weird and I didn't want you to get your feelings hurt. No.

It's worse now. You've made it worse. Sorry. You're cleaning a spot. Now it's a spill. Nat Attack, delete this. It came out weird because of my brain, not because of a lack of mouth. And it made me embarrassed when I was doing an intro and you said, did you look to the back to get the names? And I'm still embarrassed by that. Well, that was weird. That was weird one time, Wayne, when we were doing an intro. Jake looked at our poster to see what my name was and then admitted that he did that. It was weird. 20 years friends. 20 years friends. Yeah, 20 years friends.

So here's what I think the real problem is, Becca. I think it's some new age bullshit that you can go in a bathroom because I'll tell you what, I'm not positive of Wayne, but I know Gareth and I would spend every second of our lives in a bathroom. Oh, yeah. If there was a place I was allowed to go, I would put a tent in there. I would literally walk in school. How you doing? How you doing, Miss Williams? How you doing, Miss whatever? And then I'd walk in the bathroom. I'd go like, fuck this shit, motherfucker, fuck, fuck.

And I'll go to every kid. Come with me. Why? I got something I need to tell you. What's that? My fucking weekend fucking sucks. Shit. Piss. You're part of team asshole now. Yeah. And then there would be a bunch of kids. We would just be the bathroom kids. I would spend my entire school. I would view school as where I hang out in the bathroom. And then there's a seat in the classroom I never go to. This might be how greasers started.

The bathroom kids. The bathroom kids. That would be the best gang to be a part of. I would do the same thing and then just get all your friends to come and beatbox and freestyle and get a gospel chorus. But it would all be, hooky-hook, and get like a Kanye chorus. So, Wayne, before you said that's the whitest thing, your pitch was the blackest thing I ever heard. Because what I would not do in my bathroom gang is go like, beat-a-boop-boop, let's get a gospel chorus.

That's the blockest pitch to the bathroom gang. The bathroom gang would just be a bunch of kids going like, fuck you, motherfucker. Hey, I got a fucking turtle this weekend. It fucking rules. And somebody would go, those fucking things could live to be a hundred. Nobody would be singing any sort of gospel shit. You didn't go to my school. Agreed, we went to different schools. But so, Becca, I think we got to create a thing at home.

That, and that attack, you're a fucking part of this too. Yeah, you called the show on this one too, Natalie. That,

There is no peaceful area called the bathroom. My mother put a bar of soap in my mouth and she's a hypocrite because she would be swearing. While doing it. The childhood, the era I grew up in was more confusing where it's, you got to watch your fucking mouth. You swear again. And then I'm like, you got a fucking bar in my mouth of soap while you're swearing. I'm like, I'm learning nothing. It just tastes terrible. So I think what we need to do, Becca, is first of all,

You're four years old. You're a little winner, Quinn. We love you. We like you. You got a great personality. Yeah, the F-bombs ain't cute. So let me ask you a question, Becca. What does little Quinn like the most? Is it her iPad or is it her sweets? Wow. Oh, we're bribing. Becca, we ain't bribing, babe. It's not an association.

We take it. Oh, punish it. Oh, okay. You're not negotiating with a four-year-old terrorist. You said that like that was a new concept. You said, oh, punishment. Punishment. Oh, yeah. I think I've read about that.

Whatever books, these parenting books are teaching everybody. They're teaching everybody this so that the kids are wild. I felt this way with poker. Anybody here play poker? Yeah, a little bit. So all these poker pros started writing books of how to play good poker. And this whole generation of poker players started reading the books and thinking they were good. Well, they're learning how to play poker from their competition. Yeah.

So they're like, you know, a guy who's currently playing wrote a book of how to be a good player. You got to be tight, aggressive. This is what you do on jacks. And you go, listen, motherfucker. If he's teaching you how to play while gambling against you, he's beating you. These parent books are to raise a generation of kids who are wild as fuck. Don't respect their parents. They have no rules. They're little animals. The answer is no way.

So what do you think of that, Becca? Are you open to old school punishment? We're not talking about beating the kid up. Well, not yet. Like I said, I'm not above soap in the mouth. We're not going soap in the mouth. That was wildly ineffective. Becca, what does Quinn love the most?

Um, she, she likes a good iPad. She does. Yeah. Okay. And what, how, how many hours a day is little Quinn staring at that screen? And I'm not judging. My kids love screens too. And guess what? So do I.

I mean, we don't use the iPad that much unless we need our own time. I'd say between the TV and the iPad, maybe like an hour after school. And what's Quinn's favorite show? What is she like? Is she watching YouTube Shorts? Is she watching Shimmer and Shine? What's that little girl watch? A combination of Bluey and Spidey. Bluey and Spidey. So how about this? Uh-oh. You say the F, Bob.

You can't watch Spidey or Bluey for the rest of the day. You say it twice, you can't watch it tomorrow. You say it thrice, you lose your iPad for a week. These ain't my rules. These are Wayne Brady's rules.

Who's Wayne Brady? Wayne Brady's a bad man. Wayne Brady's family rules. Wayne Brady's family rules. And so we did a thing at my preschool. There was this teacher there that was smart called Mr. Todd. And I would go home and I would be doing Mr. Todd techniques to my kids that they didn't like. And my one daughter finally goes, I wish you never talked to Mr. Todd. And I'm like, I hear you, but he's good at it.

Becca, what do you think about if we create Wayne Brady's family rules? And if the kid breaks it, you got to go. So I got a problem. If you say the F-bomb, you lose one hour of Bluey and Spider and your kid goes, fucking why, mommy? But you and I are just friends and I rule this roost. And you go, I know you do, but you don't rule the Wayne Brady family rules. Wayne Brady's the boss.

And I'll take a series. You know what I could do is I could shoot a series of videos on my phone that you can pull out at any time. And one is like, hey, did you say the F-bomb again? No TV. And another one is like,

Did you say that shit again? Wayne Brady is very disappointed in you. And then they're like, yay, Wayne Brady. Because I also don't want her in this exchange. I don't want her to grow up angry at every black man. That's true. Because of the rules. So I want her to get some of the sweet with the sour. By the way, Becca, this is a big win. This is.

And we already got two clips right there. We could do Wayne, anything else you do on your phone, we will send also to any caller or somebody wanted to email the show that has this issue, just like we did Gareth on hot takes.

So hot takes was a thing we did. There's a teacher who called in and we gave some advice. And now a bunch of teachers across America have emailed in that they're doing hot takes. Yeah. As a blanket statement. If your kid is swearing too much. Thank you. I loved it. Mr. Hot takes is the best.

That was great. Thanks, Becca. You're welcome. Look at us. We're having a weird little guy. Lock in, lock in, Jay. I did it. Becca was really sweet. Now I want to swear around her because I know she's not going to punish me. Shut the fuck up, mom. You fucking nut. I'm going in the bathroom. You love me. So what we could create is anybody whose kid is swearing before you call in,

We will post the Wayne Brady stuff on our website and our Instagram. Try the Wayne Brady family rules first. If that doesn't work, then email in. So Becca, what are you going to do and how are you going to apply the Wayne Brady family rules? Well, I like the rules. I love the video idea.

I still don't know if I'm super comfortable saying like, Hey, by the way, you can't say fuck. But here's the thing, but Becca, Becca, I think you're living in a fantasy land. I think you think that your kid doesn't know that fuck is a bad word. And I think she does. You're right. You're right. How about this? If mom's not comfortable, Wayne, will you really fast make a clip where you're talking to kids about the F word? And if they say the F word, they lose an hour of screens.

Yes. I can do that right now. Let's do it right now, please. Okay. Amazing. Hey, kids. It's me, Wayne Brady. Look, I've been talking to your parents, and there's a word that you shouldn't use. There are so many words, and you're learning words right now. Your mind is so open and facile. Learn all the words you can, except for the word that starts with F. That is a really bad word. F.

Uh, that's a bad word when you put everything together. We call it the F-bomb. Under no circumstance should you say the F-bomb. Can mommy say the F-bomb? Absolutely. Can daddy say the F-bomb? Yes. Can Mr. Wayne say the F-bomb? Every chance he gets. In fact, saying the F-bomb, it's a sign of intelligence. But you're too young to say the F-bomb.

So if you say the F-bomb, mommy or daddy, hopefully working in tandem together, will take away your favorite program or your favorite food or your favorite candy, or we won't let you play with your cousins. You know, the really nice ones that come over just on summer will isolate you. We got it. Canoe!

No, we didn't. We got it. Well, I think you're flagging the part where he said it's a sign of intelligence, which I agree is a slight case for using it. I agree. So, Wayne, we got to do take two. With this whole thing. I think we got it. Has to be 30 seconds. I think we got it. No intelligence. No fictional cousins. And action.

Hey kids, it's me, Wayne Brady. I'm here to tell you, don't say the F word. Here's a little song that you need to remember. The F word is good for a mama. The F word is good for dad. But if you say the F word, Wayne Brady is going to get real mad. Don't say the F word. Thank you. Really good. Really good. But Wayne, you know what we forgot? What?

The Wayne Brady family rules. If you say the F-bomb, you cannot watch your screens for one hour. That's the Wayne Brady family rule. That's it. Okay. Okay. Take three. Action. Hey, kids. This is Wayne Brady with the Wayne Brady family rules. If you say the F-bomb, we will take away your screen for one hour. If you say the F-bomb twice, we'll take away your screen for the whole day.

If you say the F-bomb three times, we'll take away your screens for the week.

And Wayne, I've got a question for you. Are you allowed to say the F-bomb in the potty room? Oh, you can't say the F-bomb in the potty room. You can't say the F-bomb in the kitchen. You can't say the F-bomb at school. You can't say the F-bomb anywhere. But Mr. Wayne, what if the school allows it in the bathroom? What do you think of that? Then if the school allows you to say the F-bomb, then maybe mommy and daddy should reconsider your educational options.

Pretty good. Becca? Definitely got it. I think we... Becca, what do you think of that? And I want the truth because I would love to see video of you playing this to your son for the show. Or your daughter, I'm sorry. She. It's okay. It's okay. So only if this is real for you. If it's not...

I know, Wayne, personally, we can do another take, but I want this to actually play for your kids, and I would like this to be a real rule, and I think this could work. Do you think that would work with Quinn? If not, what direction could we try? No, I love it. This is perfect. Okay.

I mean, you know, we got to get rid of the potty, the bathroom thing. We got to get rid of it. But it's only going to work, Becca. The thing is, I still hear in your voice, you think it's cute.

Which is okay because, you know, that's your daughter and it's your life and live your life and parent. But it sounds like you think that it's cute. So it can never really be worked out. But it can, Wayne, because, yeah. How about this? How about you're allowed to think it's cute, but Becca, when you want to enjoy the fact that your kid just said the F word, you have to go to the bathroom to celebrate that for yourself. That's your zone of enjoying what just happened. Nowhere near quince.

Yes, that's perfect. I mean, it is. It's hilarious. I mean, she's pretty fucking smart. Remember, you're calling in with a problem. Yeah.

Is it hilarious? The problem is, is you want it to stop. So do you, do you think the next time Quinn goes, I can't get this fucking bathing suit off. You go, Hey honey, I need to explain to you the Wayne Brady family rules. And if she gets confused, which she will, you go, let me show you this video.

And if you're going to laugh, you have to bite the fuck out of your tongue, go in the bathroom and laugh in there with the fan on. Yes. And then walk out. So Quinn doesn't see it. If you do this and you got to stick to that hour and I want your kid to go like in

in her head, fucking Wayne Brady's keeping me from Bluey. Yes. But it's not you or your husband. It's the Wayne Brady family rules. Is this something you're actually going to do? Because if you do it, Becca, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen. Quinn's going to stop swearing. Yes. That's just what's going to happen. That's what I need. If you take away her shows, it's going to happen. Are you going to do it? Yes, absolutely. So here's what I, you don't believe her, Wayne.

I don't know. I don't know. I really hope so. I really hope so. Because it's kind of indicative of it's cute. We all love to hear kids curse and we laugh when our kids do funny things. But it's also a gateway that when your kid feels that they can get away with certain things, it's a hop, skip and a jump to the bigger things. And they're like, you're going to let me stay out past curfew. Come on, you love me. Becca, your rebuttal.

I mean, I do. I feel like we just didn't have a plan in place for it. But usually when we give out like consequences, we stick to it. We're not as passive as we sound. Becca, your four year old is saying fuck casually around the house. OK, we're this is intervention time. Are you going to stick to it and are you going to do it? And will you bring back results the next time you call in? Good or bad?

Yes, honest. So here's what we need from you, Becca. We need some audio of the kids swearing. And so if Quinn swears, you got to grab your phone and then go, hey, honey, hit voice. What'd you say? And the kid will say it again.

Then you got to go, I need you to show you this video. And ideally we have your husband's phone too. So we can film, you could film the kid watching it. And I think what you should do is really like take a minute, sit the kid down and make it a serious, be like, look, you have to watch the video again. Okay. Remember. And then maybe try to get the kids thoughts and point of views on Wayne where I would love to hear. Here's my hope. Quinn goes,

In a little kid voice, I'm not going to swear again because Mr. Wayne said it's not okay. If we hit that, that's our grand slam. Yes. My teachers say it's okay in the bathroom. You think it's funny. But Mr. Wayne, who doesn't find it funny, so I'm not allowed to swear on Mr. Wayne, because if I do, he's going to take away Bluey from me because it's just not appropriate. Becca, follow up with this, please. There's a huge win here.

And a huge future for Wayne. I think Wayne is finding yet another angle on entertainment. This motherfucker's finding another path to make money. I know! It's the 18th. Wayne, motherfucker, how are you getting every job, you son of a bitch? Got to hustle, baby. Have to. Let the others work, my king. Some of us got to eat too, Wayne.

I'm making my own lanes, guys. You always do. All right, Becca, follow up with us. This one's going to work. Thanks, Becca. Amazing. Thanks for having me on. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Quince. Vacation season is nearly upon us. This year, I'm treating myself to the luxe upgrades I deserve with Quince's high-quality travel essentials at fair prices.

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I've got to go in a few minutes, but let's start. And when you need to leave, leave in the middle of the call. Just say goodbye. Find a way out and we'll be fine. Thank you. That was perfect. Awesome. She was so funny. The problem that isn't a problem is hilarious. But that's a classic call. Yes. If we can get that follow up, I can't wait to see it. I can't wait. It's classic. But honestly, Wayne, find a way to leave any way you want comedically and then just go. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, I'll start it, Gareth. Okay. Hi, can we get your name, please? Hello. Hey there. Let's go for Rob today. Rob. Where are you calling from, Rob? I'm calling from Amsterdam. Amsterdam. Cool. Yeah. Are you from Amsterdam or are you there just to visit? I am originally from this area. Yeah. Cool. How's Amsterdam changed over the years?

Well, it's perception-based, but it's become more touristy, of course. But it's still a good place to go. I mean, I'd recommend it to anyone.

Especially if you're in Europe anyway. I was there in 2003 with Billy Bungroff and Oliver Raleigh. We got stoned all night in cafes. We couldn't believe we could buy it there. And we saw Willie Nelson at five in the morning walking across a bridge. He was as high as us and we didn't even know what to say. We just said, hey, Willie. He said, hey, guys. And we walked past him and he was with one other friend and we're like,

I don't know if this is real life. I think we just crossed Willie Nelson on a bridge and we were all smoking joints. Rob, tell him the truth. There was no Willie Nelson. That's just something you see in Amsterdam. That's what happens in Amsterdam. This just sounds like a Tuesday. Yeah, that sounds like a Tuesday. Rob, you're here with Gareth and I and the great Wayne Brady.

Hey, Rob. Hey, Rob. Nice to meet you. Question for you, Rob. You said something when you introduced yourself that caught me. You said, for today, it's Rob. Do you go by another name? Well, he wants to be anonymous on the call. Hell yeah. Oh, for today, it's Rob. It's a juicy problem. Yeah, yeah. It's a juicy one. Oh, okay. I am Rob. Yeah. So, Rob, what do you got for us today? So, here's the deal. Um...

I started my master's degree a few years ago and I've met a group of five guy friends that I kind of grew into a tight knit friendship with. And these are good friends, like go on vacation together friends. But now we've been on some scrappy camping trips and it's every time, like one of the highlights of my year.

But now we are planning our third vacation. So it's a yearly thing. And this meeting is coming up Wednesday to discuss what we're going to do. And through the grapevine, through some conversations I've heard, there is now some consensus forming about making it an invite all the girlfriends trip.

And I noticed how everyone is seemingly agreeing as if it's not a total rebrand of a group plan. I understand, Rob. And I'm not sure what to do. So actually my question is, is this a vibe shift I can question and how do I handle this? This is a question from a guy getting his master's degree. Yes. Our previous call was a mom who's dealing with a four-year-old swearing. This is...

There is a vibe shift when you bring the significant others. Now it's not bad, but it is a fundamentally different trip because the group is not the group. It's individual pods. It's everybody's really connecting with their significant other. And then you do things like dinner and hang as a group. And then everyone goes back to their tent and has sex. Seeing boyfriend version of your friend versus friend version of your friend. It is, there's a, there's a difference.

Yeah, those are different people. Is there a slight issue? Has there been any sexual tension between any of the existing group? No, that's not what's going on. Yeah. Okay. Just wondering. So that's out the window. So it's more just, and I got a question, Rob, are you the only single guy in the group?

I am not single. You got a girlfriend too? So you're all in relationships. I do have a girlfriend. So it would be even, right? That's even heavier.

It would work out. I just am not entirely feeling this shift into whisper fighting over dinner seating plans. Yes. Wow. First of all, break up with your girlfriend. That thing sounds good. First of all, Rob, I think you're in the wrong relationship. Go to the bathroom to swear when it happens. I think it's transparency. I think that you and the friends...

It sounds like it's something that definitely bothers you. I think now is a good time to see if you are in the minority with this, to see if you are the only person that it definitely bothers. So just open that conversation up when you guys hang out. Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne. Can I say something about what this show is? The cleanest path to the answer is not why people call in. This is not a man who wants transparency.

He's gone down that road in his head and then he thought, I'm going to call this podcast. We're here to help because what I don't want to do is go, hey guys, I would love to not maybe bring the girlfriends. What do we all feel? He wants a sneaky way in that the group understands

understand what's happening without Rob offending his girlfriend, knowing now all these guys are also going to tell their girlfriends. And now it's a whole discussion about why doesn't Rob, and then these guys are going to sell them out and go, Debra, I would love you to go, but Rob's weird with Karen. You should plant fake evidence that the five of you have been having guy hijinks for the past couple of years on the trip.

so that the girlfriends break up with you and then it's not an issue. Wait, go on with that, Wayne. This is why you get all the jobs. Because you went reasonable to insane so fast. Will you pitch that one again just because I didn't fully get it? Oh, yeah. I would create a Facebook page

That is the secret trip Facebook page with AI taken pictures of the past trips, which show you guys in a frenzied hormonal master's degree guy orgy.

and with text to each other and then anonymously send it to the girlfriends. They all get angry. They break up with everybody so that everybody becomes single and they're also distraught. So when you go on the guy trip, not only are you having fun and camping, but it's comforting each other.

and trying to get back to some sort of homeostasis as men. Just, Wayne, this is for you before we go to Rob. Your two pitches. One, just be upfront and honest. When that didn't work, you said create a fake Facebook page. Quickly, too. The switch was like orgies so that everybody gets dumped so that the guy trip is just...

Guys, I don't know who created these orgy pictures. Wayne went from G to porn in 10 seconds. And from 0 to 100. There's a gray area, Mr. Brady. I give you both options. I just give you both options. For a problem like this, I don't think you can beat around the bush in the gray area. I think you can. I think you can. You either blow it up

it up or you blow it out. Merch. Yep. So Rob, and we're going to pitch more obviously, but when you hear those, when you hear those two, what are your first thoughts either? Cause I answered for you, but I shouldn't have. So what do you think about just being upfront and honest or two creating a Facebook orgy page and having all the girlfriends break up with you, Rob, let's hear what you're thinking, Bill.

Well, for sure, I thought the first pitch was not it. But your second pitch surely made the first one look very shiny. So I'm leaning towards being honest. Is that how you close, Wayne? And that's how I parent. Good day, gentlemen.

Is that it, Wade? I give you the worst option to make the first option good. Wade, you're the best. Fellas, I can't wait to talk to you again. I can't wait to talk to Becca. Rob, if that's not your real name, I hope this works out for you. And it's so good talking to you guys. Gareth, a pleasure. Jake, my man. I'll talk to you soon.

Thanks, bud. Appreciate it. Okay, Rob, we had to lose Wayne because he had to get back to work. He was so upset at your response to his work. We borrowed him for a little bit. He was on set. Busy guy. We appreciate it. But, Rob.

So now we're back in it with you, sir. And I got to say, I don't think we do the orgy page and I don't think we'd be honest. Gareth. I totally agree. I think what you said, uh, I loved what Wayne did, but I think what you said is right. Rob's calling here for some shenanigans. Yes. And shenanigans Rob shall have. Yeah. And so Rob, basically where you're at is you would prefer just the guys hanging out and then a different trip with the ladies trip.

Possibly, yes. I don't even think he suggested that. I think he wants to just keep the waters pure on the dude's trip. But that, in what you just said, Jake, is an option. Another pitch. Yes. But Rob, here's my question. Why don't you want to just come out and bring it up face value? Now let's get real honest.

Well, I feel like we're all kind of in that age range where you're starting to think about moving in together, starting to think about how the rest of your lives together are going to look. Yep. And there is this very strong sense of including everyone at every possible time. And I feel like the last moment that was still just us guys was this vacation. And keep in mind, it's like, it's a very short vacation. It's like,

four or five days. So it's not like you're missing out on a bunch. It's just like the last thing we had. It's a week. It's a week off. Five days with a bunch of guys is a long time. Yeah, it's a long time. Is a possible move here to create confusion in the group between

of who's pitching this so that it almost just feels like the way news media does it, the way the Baldini, or whatever that kid's name, Justin Baldini, Blake Lively stuff is, you're confusing the narrative so nobody even knows what to believe. Meaning...

Is there something you could say to one guy and go, I hear the ladies don't even want to come. And then you say to somebody else and they go, you know what I heard? Mike doesn't want significant others. What do you think about that? I don't care, but Mike's not in, but he doesn't want anyone to know. So you're creating so much confusion that the group goes, you know what? This is getting so hectic. Why don't we just do it? The guys for this one, because it's too crazy and no one can figure out. And the women go at this point, we don't want to go anyway, because I don't even know which way is up.

That honestly sounds quite interesting. Okay, that's just one pitch. That's one. Here's what I think. Oh, I have a couple of thoughts. Go for it. You just got to get one girlfriend to not come. If you can get it so one of them won't come, that makes it weird for the one guy to the point where I think that is a poison pill enough. So my first thought would be Rob...

I would put it on your girlfriend. The question is, how well does your girlfriend know your buddy's significant other? Here's the problem with that, Gareth. Let me just say, whenever we go to a third party, it never works. Well, maybe. Answer my question, Robin. Let's see. Okay.

So me and my buddies know each other very well, of course. Right, yeah. But these significant others have only like slowly been introduced. So they are not necessarily friends with each other in that way. So Jake, why couldn't he say either one, my girlfriend wants to just keep it to dudes for this one. She thinks next time we can open it up. Or two, her parents are coming to town. She's not going to be able to make it. And that would kind of make it weird for me.

I don't like including another. Okay. And I'll tell you why. Rob, whatever route you want to go, we go down. But these are just three people talking in a bar right now. If you're going to tell a big lie, what always happens is once others get involved and it gets ugly, we all seen mafia movies. Everybody's then got to get killed. And we don't want to have to take your beautiful girlfriend in a Lincoln and sit behind her. And she goes to the basement. She goes, I'm about to be made. And then you go, no.

This is a trap. You're getting murdered because I got, I have a much sneakier route. Anybody who knows anything has to go down. Yeah. I want sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. It's only Rob. Can't be, we can't attach this to Rob is what we want. Exactly. You attach it to no one. Let me ask you this. Jake, what do you think about this? How long you and your girlfriend been together, Rob?

- Six years. - Six years, okay. - Ooh, this is a big one. - So we've got a pretty good relationship here. - Yeah. - I feel like we could maybe, if we wanted, go to the girlfriend and just, Rob could say, "Hey, look, the guys wanna invite the girls, "I wanna keep it a guy's trip. "I'm gonna say that you maybe have something to do "around that time." - Well, let me ask you a question before we go this road. Rob, does your girlfriend wanna go on this trip?

Well, she, I talked to her about this and she is kind of on my side also because I mean, limited vacation days. Are you going to do this with a group of people you don't really know? Okay. Got a window. So she's not too keen to go. You, Gareth, you were right. I was wrong. So let's crack the window a little bit and you go to her and how about this? You say, look, I'm going to lightly, lightly,

Put it on the fact that you have something to do and you probably can't make it. And I'm also going to pivot it into, and also I kind of do like it just being us, but she also probably isn't even going to make it. Now I'll be honest, I don't want to go on a trip with four buddies and their significant others. That does not appeal to me. I think what you guys can do, here's what I would recommend saying to the group is a text really easy. Fellas, in terms of the plan,

My girlfriend is pretty slammed these days and not positive she wants to use her vacation for this, but...

doesn't want to be a downer or like a text that says just to the fellas to discuss, please no girlfriends involved in this. I don't want hurt feelings. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable. I also think we could say my girlfriend has plans for her vacation days. So she's can't use them for this trip, something like that, but keep going, keep cooking. But in this zone of, can we just have a discussion about,

about these trips because I'll tell you what like I went to Landers uh with Steve Berg Eric Edelstein Clay Allen and Brian Farrell I'll tell you who wouldn't want to go on that is my wife because she's like I need to sit around watch you guys like do your jokes all the time and nobody stop talking and go to a sound bath that's not how I want to spend a weekend

But I was like, I wanted to. It was fun. I was like, I would spend a weekend that way. You were missed, Garris, actually. I wasn't invited, so that's why I was missed. Anyway, keep going, Rob or Jake. Someone else talk. Fill it. Someone else fill the moment. You don't live here, Garris. Fill the moment. You're in Virginia. I can make it. I'm at an office in Norfolk. I can figure it out. Things are normal. So I think there's a world that you say,

I don't want to put my, I don't want to, is that a brown water bottle? It's a maroony. It's the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. There we go. I've never seen a cool brown water bottle. Hey, buddy, you got to hang out with me. I'm telling you, invite me to these sound baths. You're going to love it. You're invited. You want to come? Can't, I'm in Virginia. So here's the play I would do. I would go with Garris Rout on this, and I would send a text right now to the fellas saying,

And the text would go, I don't want to throw my girlfriend under the bus on this. She's not looking to ruin this plan, but she has other ideas for her vacation days. Are we going to start doing all of our buddy trips with significant others? Or should we keep our buddy trips, our buddy trips, and then we could try to do something else with girlfriends, but it might not be five days. It might be like an overnight.

Is this going to be like an all-in-one message, or is it more of a first drop the my girlfriend isn't available, and then in a few weeks introduce the what are we trying to do? If I may, Jake, I would maybe split it. I would get ahead of the planning of the trip with the girls coming along with the first half of what Jake's saying, and then I think when you're with the boys, you have a couple beers. I think then you can say, look, she couldn't come, but to be quite honest—

Do we want to set that precedent? I mean, this is like where we go to be, you know, weirdos. Well, I've got a question for you, Rob. What if Gareth and I did a clip from a fictional podcast about this and you sent it to the group and go, this clip got me thinking, what do you guys think?

I mean, it could be a soft way to introduce an idea and say, look, I just, I saw this clip on Instagram or whatever. I don't even know what the podcast is or whatever, whatever way you heard it. It made me start thinking about our trip. What do you guys think? Should we Piggly and Moe it?

Here's what we could do. We can Piggly and Moe it. You have Piggly and Moe. And then if you feel like you want to go the route of the other way, you have that option too. But you can have a Piggly and Moe. And why don't we do, Jake, why don't we make it Piggly and Moe, Moe

Or Piggly. Just came back from a trip. Okay, so I just came back from a trip. With all, and you, it was a dude's trip for 10 years. This time you invited your wives. It was a little different and you don't feel as recharged as you used to. I love it. Okay. Rob, if this works, are you going to send it to the group?

For sure. Okay, so let's start as if we're on a different subject and then get to it. Maybe you initiate, ask me about the trip. Maybe you are asking for another coffee and I'll say, that's your third one today, Mo. I love it. Okay, here we go. And the whole thing under two minutes, Garf. All right, here we go.

But that was the entirety of the weekend. It was pretty good. Give me a quick second. I think I got to get another cup of coffee. For those listening, that is Moe's third cup of coffee today. Moe is dragging his B. As you know, I just came back from a weekend trip to Idaho with the fellas. Right. And the significant others. I thought so. Right. I remember you telling me about that. How was it? I got it.

Well, you know, on this show, we always get honest, don't we? A big part. And this has nothing to do with Susan, nothing to do. And I know they're listeners. So nothing to do with the wonderful women who joined us.

But it was a different type of trip, Bigley. Because you used to do this trip just with the guys. Now, this is something I know you know a lot about, too. Absolutely. But for me, there are two types of trips. There's the trips with the guys and then the significant others. And I think the zones need to be separate, your thoughts.

Well, there's a lot of research to things like this that the primal man needs to be around other primal men to be the primal man. In order to have that type of trip. In order to have that type of – I mean, honestly, to some extent, it is an emotional and an energy purge. So if you're coming back today and you're saying, I'm tired because –

you're more tired. It is probably because you've is a different trip, but you still had a good time or you feel like it was. - Bigly, I had a wonderful, so look, so I wanna make something crystal clear. This is not an offense to the women at all. I had a wonderful time, but it is a fundamentally different trip. - Let me ask you this, let me ask you this.

If you could go back in time, would you do it just the fellas or would you do the trip you just had? Here's what I would do. I would have done two type of trips and I would have talked to the fellas about, guys, let's create two trips. Trips that are just the fellas and other trips that are with the significant others. And what I would do is they would be different lengths because you got to think about these women's schedules, which we did not. Mm.

We did a six day trip. That's too much. Now, what we should have done with the significant others is an overnight. And then the fellas go do the four to five to six days. But we are putting them in a tough situation, too, because they're saying, I have to say yes, because I don't want to be the one who says no. But also, I have other plans. And now you might, if you want to go back to just the fellas, that might be more difficult than it was before, Mo. That's exactly right. So another thing that I want to bring up about rocket money and cut. Great.

Okay. Rob? Pretty good. Derek is shaking his head in a great way. I thought this would be much more messy. Yeah. Well, Rob, this is season two, amigo. Okay? We clean up the scratches in season two, my man. You think Piggly and Mo are a joke? They're helpful. I mean, it's called Piggly and Mo, for God's sake. We know what we're doing. You think we're clowns? What do you think? We're crazy? You think we're jokes? You think we're a joke, Rob?

We're Piggly and Moe. So, Rob, you have. It's insane that Piggly and Moe is now actually a move that is trying to help. And that we're just smoothly moving into it. And by the way, that Rocket Money sponsors them. I really, I want to talk to the Rocket Money people. Rocket Money sponsors everybody. It's honestly, look, it saves you a lot. Because you have unwanted subscriptions, Gareth. Moe, Moe, Moe.

Um, so Rob, you have the option. I mean, that certainly feels like send that to the group. You send that clip. You say this is just audio only audio only. Absolutely. You say that because we're both very recognizable. You say that, send it to him. That gets the conversation going. I feel like that's probably going to be your best way in. And here's the other thing, Jake. Yeah. Let's say,

In some world, someone goes, I've never heard of this show. They look it up, they don't, whatever. You can very easily say, look, this is my attempt at telling you boys I love you, and I like keeping it separate. So, Rob, what are you going to do, big dog? I honestly feel like there's one way to go. It's a very clean pitch. Like start out with asking them or telling them that my girlfriend is not available.

And seeing where it goes, showing or maybe letting them listen to this podcast snippet when we're drinking a few beers and kind of introduce it that way. Oh, doing it as the group. I like that. What do you think about sending the clip as a text message?

I could do that too, but I feel like you want it in person, letting them hear it after a few beers and immediately being able to talk about it. I think it's worse for the show, but it's better for the, for you. I agree. I agree. Yeah. It is worse for the show, but it is better for you. We're marginally here for the caller at this point. And we still are. So I think, I think if that's the right move, that's dying to hear what happened. Cause then I can casually be bringing it up and go, Oh, I got something.

I fucking, and then Rob walk us through the three of us are in a bar right now. I want to see how you can smoothly get into this.

so that the clip sounds real. So we're all hanging out in Amsterdam. We just got another round of pints of beer. Here's another round of beers for the boys. Yeah, I was just at the Red Light District. I saw Willie Nelson. Oh, I showed my Willie Nelson at the Red Light District once. You're still addicted to hookers, are you, Andrew? I've got a problem, an insatiable appetite. All right, guys, all right, guys. I got something to tell you. Go ahead, Rob.

I was thinking about the vacation we were all supposed to go on. Yes. And I listened to this podcast or I came across it on Instagram. I don't really remember. That feels false. It might be relevant for us. It feels false, Rob. Show me the source material. Start over. You got to know how you found it. My first question is going to go, what are you talking about, big dog? All right. Back to the start of the bar. I'm Drew.

Yes. Yes. I saw you in the red light district. I'm Billy. That's right, Bill. I was down there. I was just trying to help some of the girls and give them opportunities to get out of that area. We'll know you were spending your money for sex. Yes. Oh, yes. Go ahead. Hurry up. Talking about the girls. I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about going on vacation with their significant others.

And I feel like it could be relevant to us and maybe we could, I could introduce it to you. Okay. What's it called? What's the podcast called? Piggly and Moe Vacation Stories. No, it's not.

That's a crazy title. I think it is. I think it is. I think it's just called Piggly and Moe. By the way, Piggly and Moe, let me Google that because I can't find it. It's a very niche. Their whole podcast is vacation stories. It's strange. What do they have, nine episodes? It's strange. Let's start again, Rob.

But Rob, the setup was great. Great. But you don't even know the name of it. Yeah, I can't remember. Piggly and something. All right, so we are back to the bar. Andrew just brought drinks. Oh, yeah, drink them up. They're so good. Thanks. Again, I'm not going to pay you back because I think you're a sex addict and I have issues with your behavior. I like to support local industries. There's nothing wrong with that.

Well, the thing that is wrong with it is a lot of those ladies are not here, but choice. Don't you know that? Cause I'm a lawyer. Oh, here we go. Someone wants to ruin the good time. Pish in the pool. Hey fellas. Hey, how you doing? Let's keep it light. Let's keep it light. Uh, I came across this audiogram on Instagram, which is like a snippet of a podcast. I was kind of scrolling through things.

And they were talking about something that is kind of relevant to us. And I thought maybe we could listen to it together and kind of talk about it. I liked the way that Andrew said yes. So I'm going to start saying that too. Yes. Yes. Okay. That was great. Very Sean Connery. Thanks, Bill. Okay. Let's hear the goddamn podcast. What's it called, by the way? Who cares? Let it cook. Oh, pick it up. I've heard of it. By the way, Rob. Great. Real good.

You plow it through. I would listen to it. And then afterwards, you can just let the conversation go where it goes, my man. Yep.

Yeah, I mean, after a couple beers, I don't think I'm getting the question, which podcast and where did you get this? I agree. We're giving you a worst case scenario, babe. But I also think, Rob, the idea of sending some sort of text to get it so that they're not going to be talking about this too much is good. Explain what that means. Well, if we already have rumblings that this is going to be a guys and girls trip,

It's not a bad idea to get it out there now. Like, Hey, you know, yeah, just a little something. So they don't, let's get the beers, just the guys and discuss the trip. No plan. Let's make no plans on the trip until we meet up. Something like that. Thoughts on that, Robbie. I mean, that's kind of our plan tomorrow anyway. Okay. Tomorrow. Okay. You're good. Let's go. We got to follow up with you ASAP. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, the next session, maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

Good or bad, we got to get you on again to hear what happens on this night. Yep, for sure. And you know what else I think is interesting, Rob? This call started with Wayne Brady, and that feels like a year and a half ago. And Wayne Brady said, Wayne Brady said, maybe do a fake AI orgy. Very reasonable. He came in hard. He came in, he looked hot and fast. I mean, that was a comment. So did Andrew. Okay, we got to go. Rob, please let us know how it goes. Good luck, and you've got this. Yeah.

For sure. Thank you so much. Enjoy the beer. Bye-bye. Bye now. Thank you. See you later. By the way, Sean Connery, I'm allowed to hit a lady once in a while. Jesus, that's not Sean Connery. Yes, it is. No. Barbara Walters interview. I know the interview. I'm talking about the goddamn accent. Every once in a while, if she talks back, I don't think there's anything wrong with giving her a slap. It feels like someone's hitting me with a Sean Connery. It's not good in a bad way. I'll give you a slap. It's terrible. Have you ever heard him talk? Yes. Yes.

Close your eyes. You're hearing him talk right now. No, I'm not. It's awful. I'm going to slap you. Oh, it sounds like a sick Irishman. It sounds like an Irish guy whose tongue is swelling. He is sick, isn't he? No. All right. Okay. We're good. That's it.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash heretohelppod to see our entire catalog.

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix, and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostyke. Animations by Andrew Strzelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand-up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

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