182: The Freshmaker! & Now This B Is Taking Pics
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Oh, Jake. Well, the reveal's out there. I was going to tease a little bit, but you know... The photo made it to Pam's basement toilet. Yes. So my mother has two bathrooms. She has the downstairs one where I told you there was a photo of me featured. I'm sure we'll see that in a second. But you and Rob, unsolicited, sent her a picture of you and Tom Cruise. That headshot's pretty incredible. It's unreal. Yeah.

So wait, go back to the Jake and Tom one real quick. So we have, so featured now in the bathroom, the second picture is,

is you and Tom Cruise, which you guys sent to my mother. She was touched by it. Well, because Pam knows that we love her, we care about her. She does. And this has turned into a nice, happy story. And we need Pam to get better. She said she was going to frame it. Good, and she did. She framed it. She found a frame. She's framed it. It's now sitting in the bathroom. Wonderful. Next to the only other picture featured in the bathroom, which is my first headshot.

which is embarrassing. We could probably zoom in a little. Yeah, it's an absolute nightmare. It's just terrible. And as Nat pointed out, there is a watermark on it, which when I brought it up to my mother, she didn't understand. But two things. One, my brother said he hated the fact that the headshot was in there. So when he goes to the bathroom in there, he always turns it around because it looks like I'm watching him pee.

And my mother wanted to point out that mine is there for when people sit and yours is there for when people stand. Oh, candy. So there you go. Oh, and then sometimes you get the duplicate where you and I are in a duplex together where my headshot is on top of the picture of you. Pretty good. So...

So things have really elevated over there at Escalator. Earlier today in this show, something happened in a call. Yeah. We had, you guys will, maybe it'll be on this episode or maybe it'll be on another one, but there was a great caller from Utah named Nick. I would say let's not even say what it is, but let's just say... You know, you're right. This is because it plays out organically. You're right. But...

It's all I'm thinking about. But by the way, it's all you should be thinking about. Yeah, no, it's taking the show into a direction that I didn't imagine. And I'm not going to lie, this is not going to become a thing. But I will own this one. Yes. And I will be doing this. I think if you didn't do it at this point...

It's a Welch. Yeah. It's kind of like, well, why do we do all that? Then we have to cut all that stuff out. It's just like every bet that I've ever made with you. This wasn't with me. I know, I know, but I get nothing. And this is a you thing. You suggested it. No, I didn't. Natalie did. Yeah, Natalie, what's your problem?

I just thought you should experience it. I don't know. No, but what it really is more is you just now know him and you know he wants this. No, I don't want this. You want it. Shut up. How dare you? I'm looking at your face saying you wanted it. Then he pretends, Natalie, that he's being bullied. I do not want it. So he's the little victim boy. No, I'm not. I've agreed to do it. All you did, Natalie, is you said, I know you want your butthole waxed, so do it. Jake, Jake.

Just do it. Jake. Cause you love it. Jake. And you want people to listen to you scream while he's got a voice record of him going like this. I'm going to film it. I'm going to film it. He's going to release it on YouTube. On a scale of one to 10, how much does it hurt? Eight. It's not good. And that's coming from a woman who's had children. What, how, what is it? How bad does it hurt to have children?

I mean, that's a 10, obviously, a 12. Like, it's the most I've ever heard. Yeah, but if that's a 10 and this is an 8, how close is that? Well, you know what? It might be better for Gareth because I didn't find the back the worst. Right. The front is the most painful. They ain't touching the front. I keep it winter mode. Thank you. That's too much information. I go winter mode year round.

The back's going to be awful, Gareth. They're going to pour hot wax on your butthole, let it dry, and then rip it off. Don't they say about redheads that you guys have higher pain tolerance? They do. So maybe you'll be fine. Well, I mean, first of all, thank you for the nice compliment. Don't they say about red eyes they hurt like hell when they get waxed? Anyway, without further ado. Nice, nice.

Band-Aid.

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Get a new Dell AI PC starting at $749.99 at dell.com/ai-pc. How those ahead, stay ahead. - This episode of We're Here to Help is sponsored by Skylight Frame. Skylight Frame is something that I have in my home and I like it. We talked about it during an intro and now they're our sponsors.

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skylightcal.com slash here to help. Go to skylightcal.com slash here to help for $30 off your 15-inch calendar. That is S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-C-A-L dot com slash here to help. Yes, sir. Gareth, will you start us off, bud? Sure.

Because I was up till three in the morning last night. Unless it sounds a little... I'll get there, baby. I'll get there, baby. I'll get there, baby. Are they here? I can't see. They're joining. Okay. Oh, my God. Hi. Hey, guys. Hi. How's it going? Welcome to We're Here to Help, America's number one podcast. Don't look it up. Can we get your name, please?

Yeah, it's Hardik. Uh-huh. And where are you calling from? Hardik? Yeah, Hardik, like T-H-E, like a D. But yeah, I'm calling from Delhi, India. Delhi, India. And can you just be clear on the name one more time? Hardik, H-A-R-D-I-K. Hardik, like if you were to go to a casino and the dealer opened a fresh pack, you'd say it's a Hardik.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, you know, if someone unzips their pants and they say that. Well, that's definitely what we want to do, but we don't want to poke name fun.

That a boy, hard neck. But we saw, we see your name because you can't, whatever, there's some technical stuff. So we see your name and your name spelling in English is, you know, there's something there. You're calling from Delhi. I think, I believe this is our first India call. Really excited. So this is big. I think since it's here.

Yeah, I think there was an Indian on from Canada, but that's about it. We don't count that one. We don't count that one. But we're very curious if our skills can translate to yet another place in this beautiful world. So, Hardik, why don't you... How old are you? I'm 29. 29. Okay. All right. Do we want to ask any memoir questions, Jake? That was fun last time. Still Hardik. I just want to get into it. At 29? Yeah. Hasn't gone soft yet? Still Hardik.

Not yet. Not yet. Yeah. All right, Hard Deck, why don't you jump in? Hard Deck, it gets worse in your 40s, my friend. Yeah, but yeah. Oh, I believe you. I believe you. Sponsored by Mango. Mango. All right, Hard Deck, go ahead. Hit us with it.

So yeah, me and my fiance, we actually just moved back from America and we moved into a place in South Delhi and into like a nice quaint neighborhood. But you know, it's been a havoc for sure. Like I feel like all the neighbors are like kind of turning against us just because of like the issue of some local parking.

Okay, we're seeing a picture here and it's whoever's trying to park is very ambitious.

Yeah, that was me. So you're, you tried to park in a spot that is half the size of your car. Right? Come on, Sarah. So I sent that photo because my landlord told me that I have a parking spot with the house. So I was like, okay, gladly, you know? Yeah, but Sarah, Mr. Hardick, it's not the middle of the street. No, I think, is that your parking spot, Hardick? No.

Exactly. That's my parking spot. Oh, my God. Sorry, Hardik. Keep going. No. So I took that picture for my landlord and, like, kind of gave it to him. And I was like, I don't think this is fitting in, man. And he was like, you know, and he was like, oh, yeah, I see. And then, like, you know, I go behind the car. What did he think you drew? I mean, that's your car's not enormous. For people listening, the spot is would fit a Mini Cooper, right?

and he's trying to park a RAV4. And there's no way. It's on the street. So we would call it just regular street parking, but this is your assigned spot that your car clearly will never fit into. There's no, it doesn't matter what country you're in. This is bullshit. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. And so I look behind the car, the red car that's in front of my car, and I look behind it and there's like a barricade that apparently my downstairs neighbor has put in because he has some beef with our next door neighbors, you know, and then I slowly like...

unravel this onion and figure out that everyone has beef with everyone. And like, you know, everyone's really stuck with that 30 year old parking because everyone is old over here. And they're just like have lived here for like past 30, 40 years. So they all have these parkings and they're like, oh, we did this for the parking or we did that for the parking. And like, you know, you know, it feels like they're all crazy.

trying to get at me for some reason and all the beef was coming out of me. - Well, you're new. Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, you're new and they don't want, I mean, if you look at the red car and the car behind you, the best time for these people parking wise was probably when nobody lived in the apartment that you moved into.

And now you're there. Oh, go ahead. The guy who lived here, I don't know what was out with him, but I feel like he was too submissive where he just gave in and started parking half or a quarter mile away and was just walking from his car. That's my first pitch, by the way. Abandon ship. Abandon ship.

I mean, often there's so much chaos. Like once I sent you guys the email,

My landlord kind of had like a gathering of the neighbors that was actually today morning in Delhi. And I was like, first, I was like, I hope this doesn't get solved. So I don't have to tell you that this is solved now. Wow. By the way, Hardik, thank you for having our show, the creative of our show ahead of your own personal life's problems. That's very nice of you.

Yeah, I mean, I'm getting something nice about this. I'm getting to talk to you guys about it. So, you know, that's pretty cool too for me. I agree. Yeah.

But so we had the gathering of the neighbors and the old guy who lives downstairs, he apparently it's his sister's car and he couldn't move it because the sister's having beef with next door neighbors. And then he was like, OK, let me give her a call. She's in London and let me figure this out.

And he didn't really figure it out. We were waiting there for like 40 minutes or an hour. And like the guy who's like, I think I also sent you guys a sketch of like how the cars are parked. I'd like to see the sketch. And like how the street is.

So like my house is there and then like there's an alley next door. Okay, hold on. We just got the sketch here, so. That's just hand drawn, sorry. Your house, yeah. That's perfect, it works. Okay, so you have a spot direct, I mean, you have half a spot directly in front of your place.

Exactly, exactly. So the people in the A house, you know, they're like, oh, we're parking in front of our house, so you can't do anything about it. And I'm like, it's kind of in my house, too. But they're like, oh, we don't care because we've been parking there for a while. The B minus one is the guy who's in basement and he parks in the alley next door. And he's just like, oh, yeah, I got it paved. So, you know, this is my lot.

And like, uh, he, like I've been parking there because they kind of work over there. Um, so I parked there at night and then they call me in the morning, but it's so bad because they call me like 8am and I'm taking a shit and they're like giving me a call like, Oh, come move the car. And I'm like, man, just park somewhere else for someone else. Exactly. Um,

And, yeah, it's a scale. I mean – It's a lot. It's a small time. Yeah, for anyone who's listening, it's – I don't know what other way to say that it's obviously – like some of the spots that we're talking about are in front of the places that you're talking about, but your place is also in front of the spot where you have half a spot. Yeah.

So you just basically walked into an already established parking shit show where your landlord promised you parking. He's half right because there's a half spot. Like if you had a moped as your main mode of transportation, this would not be an issue. But you have a kind of regular, maybe a little bit larger size car, unable to park it, so

So that is quite a setup. I guess, is there anything else to know? And if not, what would you bottom line your issue as? Yeah, my main question would be like, how do I get a parking spot near my house without getting on the bad sides of my neighbors?

I'm assuming that where you live is like any big city in America where going to look for street parking is obviously a huge pain in the ass and you just don't want to be bothered with that because you were promised the spot. Exactly, exactly. And like, you know, every day I'm just like carrying all my stuff down and stuff back in. You're moving. Yeah. I mean, it's hard. How hard was it to find this place?

It was kind of hard because like, it's a funny story. When you move to India, the places don't come with like air conditioning or like a fridge or a microwave or anything, you know? So like once we moved into this place, like I had to get the whole place air conditioned and put the ACs in, run the lines.

and like, you know, put like exhaust fans, get a fridge, get a washing machine, all that stuff. So it's been a hassle for sure. And it was a nice, it's still a very nice place. It's like the penthouse apartment with the roof on it. Sure, right? And you can go out there sometimes and just look at the city and see that spot that's totally inadequate for your car. Exactly, exactly. And cry a little bit, but then drink my beer and be peaceful, you know? Um...

I mean, I have one right. The problem, obviously, is that you're dealing with multiple parties. You're dealing with the people who already live there. You're dealing with a landlord who's bullshit. Have you confronted your landlord? Have you said to the landlord, like, yeah, this is totally inadequate? Yeah, I kind of did confront him today. And like, you know, in Indian rupees, the apartment's like 80K. And...

I like there was some other things that were wrong with the apartment. So I ended up paying like 73. And like today with the whole havoc that was happening and like, you know, like the neighbors have been crazy towards me also. Like, yeah, like one of the neighbors was just like, yeah, like, oh, we prefer the people who stay here longer and not the people who are renting. And I was like, OK, man. OK.

Okay, cool. I prefer a parking spot that's available. I know, right? But yeah, I spoke to the landlord and I was like, yeah, you got to get like six, seven K down from the rent if this is going to keep happening, because then I'm going to just go find my own spot. And you said there was like a meeting this morning about this? Yeah, it was like the meeting of the neighbors. And what was the outcome of that? There was nothing?

Like the guy was just like, I'll talk to my sister to move the car a little bit so I can make more space. And like, you know, like in the sketch where it says C1 and B1, there's a barricade over there. Yeah, it's weird. And the barricade, I got the barricade removed by calling like the municipal corporation of Delhi. And.

And I reported that and got that all removed. So now the car in front of your spot, can it move forward enough? Will that fit your car or no? That doesn't even matter. Exactly. So that would fit my car. And I've been trying to talk to this guy from the first floor and he's not moving his car. Okay, so there's a little wiggle. There's the moment. That's good news because then I feel like

We really have to do... Sorry, but C1 can also move up a little bit. There's a little bit of space in front of that car too. And do you know the people... I'm sure people listening, it sounds like an Ocean's... It's just like listening to Ocean's Eleven. But C1 is in front of B1. B1 is in front of Hardex car. So can we get... Do you know who owns C1? Yes, I know the person. And you know who owns B1. The two cars in front of your car, we know who those people are.

Yeah, but the C1 is a very wonderful lady, but the B1 is a little angsty. But we can get C1 to move. But this is a simple problem all of a sudden, Hardik. Yeah, it's B1. This seemed, yes, this seemed very impossible to solve. But this is a very simple measure that could be pitched out. There was an old school American commercial, a classic, I would call it,

from a candy company or a mint company called Mentos. Both. Thankfully, both. The fruity one's borderline on candy. Go ahead. It's just candy. Probably the mints, too. I don't know. It's a fresh maker, either way. Well, in one of the commercials, there's a car parked in somebody else's spot. Oh, my... The guy...

The commercial campaign used to be they would bring out, they would do something wacky. There'd be a problem. Yep. They'd have a wacky solve and they'd incorporate it after eating some mentos. And then, yeah, then they would put the mentos up to camera and be like, mentos. Is that correct, Garrett, or am I off? Correct, yes. Mentos, fresh as the mentos. Mentos. Mentos fresh and full of life. Yes. The fresh maker. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that part wasn't in America. It was. Fresh Mecca. Fresh Mecca. Well, these commercials were not even American commercials. They were like, I don't know. Which made them exotic and awesome. They were awesome. They were the dumbest thing ever, but they were also awesome. But Mr. Hard Dick...

What they did in these commercials, there was a problem similar to yours. There was a car parked in other people's car spot. And what they did was the guy didn't know what to do in the commercial. So he pops a fucking Mento in his mouth, hires four muscle men. They pick up the car. They move it. And then he does a pops a Mento in his mouth.

Oh, we actually have the commercial up right now. Who got this so fast? It's amazing. I really like that idea. But you're going to love Zoom. You can see what we're about to watch, right, Hardek? Yeah. Okay, so take a look at this. And obviously this will all be on our IG and socials and everything.

See? She's parked in. The guy's short on time. That piece of crap. Yeah, he's a real piece of European shit.

She hires the movers. The muscle guys, I remember. The muscle guys, I know. They move the car out of the spot, and now she can leave. By the way, in America, that ends in a shooting. Hold on, Gareth. Perfect impression of Freshmaker at the end. You nailed it. Hey.

Was that Rob, Natalie, or who found that so fast and crushed it? I got to give some props. I think that's Rob. Mr. Wobby Wob. Was that you? Wobby Wobby. That was, that was. Incredible call, friend. You know, actually, when you were talking about how this could be the solve, Rob was like, how can I get the video up quick? Took a Mentos in his mouth and was like, I'll Google search it. And then Natalie yelled, Freshmaker. What?

That's exactly what happened. I threw him Mentos. You threw it in his mouth. So that's the first pitch. You know, I'm going to pitch another one. I know Hardec is enjoying that pitch, so that's great. Because in this version of it, they just have to move the car forward like two feet. A little bit. A little bit. It is the fastest way. Let me give you the more diplomatic approach where I think we can milk a little sympathy.

And that might be it because this is a very, very difficult issue, obviously. And obviously, it's our first, you know, this is our first India call, so we want to solve it. So I'm thinking maybe we go the sympathetic route where maybe, where are you parking your car now? You're just going down the street? Yeah, there's some random ass spots like a few meters away. Here's what I'm going to pitch, Hardik.

I'm gonna pitch a fake cast. You get a fake cast on your leg, and you get some crutches, and you start showing the neighbors that without this spot, since you've injured your leg, your life is hell.

And you are walking sometimes with a box in your arms, dropping the box, eliciting sympathy, and hopefully then raising the stakes for them to be like, you know what, especially B1, for the person right in front of you to be like, you know what, this guy deserves this spot. His leg's all fucked up. And maybe that way we can milk it. And then if that doesn't work, obviously we always have the fresh maker on the table.

And can I ask a question? Sure. Of course, Nat Attack on the ones go. And also, what a gentle way to attack. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think the nickname is fitting. It's appropriate. It's not appropriate today. You sent people in the email are loving it. I don't know. What are you talking about? I kind of like it. Thank you. Look, Nat, you know what I mean? It's for the audience. All right, Nat, what do you got? What do you got? Is it illegal to...

to paint on the street because if you and your neighbors can establish what the spots all are and you literally paint the lines and the outlines of where you're supposed to park.

Then there's no disputing it. Like that's my line. A line in paint is a line in paint. I don't know if that's going to be allowed by the city. I like a paint line. But before you answer that hard, like even if you don't have a full conversation with everybody, a little bucket, a line that you literally just where your actual spot is, you just paint it in white. When they come in, you just go, you're in my spot.

Yeah, I kind of like that. I actually thought about that today morning. I didn't do really any homework on it to really look if I can do that or not. But it's India. We can do anything on the streets. That's what I'm saying. You can mentor as a car and not get in trouble. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of agree. Mr. Hardik, I think we've given you some pretty good advice here. You got the paint, which is clean. And you don't even have to talk to everybody. You just do it.

You got the Mentos approach. You got the fake leg approach. And then, Gareth, what was your first... It's a real leg. It's a cast. Okay. Fake leg I like too, though. Maybe a third leg. What was your first pitch? Talk to the neighbors?

I don't even know if I necessarily pitched that as much as, I mean. I've spoken to them a lot. One of them actually sat in my car once and was like, move it. Are you going to move it or not? That was like his exact words. So they're crazy for sure. Of these pitches, sir, what do you think you're going to do? Where are you at? I kind of like the mixture of the Mentos and the spray paint.

I might actually hire some people to pick up this B1 guy. Quickly, Hardik, if you film it, send it to us and we'll put that theme song under it. Okay. The Freshmaker. We will make a Mentos commercial.

I do think I could actually hire some people to do that. I think you can. Then do that, sir. If you do that, you just move it every time, great. So are we saying that when... We don't even need that other car in A1 to actually leave the spot for him, or is it B1, to even leave the spot? We're just going to go rogue. You're going to talk to your landlord about your specific dimensions that you're allotted, go out there and just fucking freshmaker it.

What I was thinking was like Mentos B1's car. Yes. And pick it up and like push it towards more C1's side. Excellent. And then just kind of drop it over there. Well, don't drop it in place, but yes. Drop it. Then mark the street parking side and kind of let him know like that's his spot. This is great. This is... Can you do me a favor when you film it? Can you start...

film the car in the wrong spot. Then get a film, a selfie of your face, shake your head and be like, no brother. Like this is a real pickle. You're in. Then film the people you hired walking into shot. Like they had those muscle guys, then film them moving it, film your face in the middle of being like, huh? Yeah. Then film it moved, smile, uh,

then get a shot of when they see their car moved, try to actually capture the real people. Oh, that's going to be a hard one. Okay, okay. You can't get that shot. Jake wants a shot-for-shot recreation. And then the last shot has to be you popping a Mentos or whatever candy you have in your mouth. No, no, no. I've just looked it up, and I believe there are Mentos...

In India. So you can get a Mentos, pop it in your mouth, and then literally put like 15 Mentos on top of the guy's car as a little reference, like a cat burglar who takes a dump in the toilet.

I mean, I could do like 65 to 70 percent of that. OK, well, we will take that's huge. This is this is a this is a wild solve. But I think like you said, man, what I've seen in the streets of India, I think you can get away with all of this.

I do think I can. And I do think it's a good salt, man. I think this will kind of cheer me up, you know? Yes. You got a project. I do have a thing hanging. It's like...

these neighbors do hate me now is there anything you guys could tell me for like what i can do to get on their good sides or something well let me just say this really fast as mo and pigley and mo being hated by the people around well they're gone are people still hating them they pat they died yes because gareth when i woke up this morning i listened to some of the voice notes um

So sometimes, Hard Ducky, you just got to accept people are going to hate you, man. And you just got to pop on Mentos in your mouth and go, hey, everybody, this is Piggly and Moe. I would say, you know, the only thing I can think of is after this happens...

You just got to bribe them a little. Buy them some booze. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Buy them all a box of Mentos. Buy them Mentos. Because here's the thing. But then they're going to eat them and have the idea to just have guys move Hardex car back and move the other one back there. But then you're living a Mentos commercial, which has been everybody's dream. That is hell. Living a Mentos commercial. Everybody's dream. Is Mentos like sponsoring us today? No, no. It's just something I'm assessing on.

But here's my pitch on trying to get them to like you. Forget them. If they wanted a nice relationship, they would have opened up your spot. They're playing hardball with you. They really are. Sometimes you don't go to jail and have, you know what I'd really like to do?

Uh, the other inmates who have been bullied me and stealing my, I hope they like me. No, no, no. You just got to find the biggest guy, hit him in the face. They'll like you when they fear you. They'll like you when they go hard. Nick's the kind of guy that hires people to move a car and then puts American candies on my car.

That's like you. I think it is. It's a tough situation. Obviously, we don't know the nuance of it, but I do think there's something to that. Are you acting like we don't know the nuance to it? Excuse me, have you heard our pitches, King? No. You know what I'm honestly doing? Yeah.

If they show up with a battering ram at Hardick's door, I don't want to be involved. I agree. I'm walking away. Respect. We're walking away. No, don't worry about that. I can call some people. Can you just do me a favor and say legally don't worry about that? Just so we have it. Legally don't worry about that. All right. Yeah. Then move this fucking car. Throw it in the goddamn river. What do we care? Hardick, I think you're in good shape, man. Will you follow up with us, please?

Yeah, for sure. I'll get you some videos when I'm moving the car. And friend, thank you for listening in India. It's a lot of fun for us. Spread the word. No, you guys are the best. Love you guys. Love you guys every time. Thank you so much. Thank you, Hardik. Appreciate it. Thank you. Bye. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Quince.

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This is surreal. This is happening. Get ready. Pinch your hand. Here we go. And what's your name, please? Let's go with Princess Peach. Whoa. Okay. Princess Peach, where are you calling from? Georgia. Georgia. This is a follow up, right?

No, this is a brand new call. Oh, you're first. Okay. I get my peaches from Georgia. What does that mean? That's right. Justin Bieber. Okay. Well, how old are you roughly, Miss Peach? I'm 30. 30. And listen, we've gotten a lot out of this question. So until it falls apart, Princess Peach, you got a memoir. You're looking back on your life. You're 80 years old. What is this memoir going to be called?

I'm so glad you asked because I actually, from time to time, just jot down novels that I'm never going to write, but just have random ideas for. And in my notes app two years ago, I started an outline for a memoir and it's called Airport Sushi and Other Mistakes I Made Along the Way. Wow. That's a great title. That is a great title. And by the way, a long buildup, but it paid off. Okay. Yeah.

Well, Princess Peach, you got Jake, you got Gareth. We're here to help. What the hell? You also have two special guests today, Piggly and Moe. No, you don't. No, you don't. Let them go. Princess Peach, go ahead. The way Jake is grieving Piggly and Moe is they're not here anymore, Jake. The audience is the new person I'm picking at.

I like it. Stick with it. As long as it's off me. Go ahead, Princess Peach.

Okay. Yeah. So, um, my dad has a longtime girlfriend and whenever we spend time with her, she always has her camera out taking pictures of us. Um, it's honestly, it's harmless, but it's also really annoying for everyone who's around her. Um, just cause it, it totally changes the vibe. It makes you feel like you're under surveillance, but just, it,

brings a really unnatural vibe to when we're spending time with them. Quick question. Are we talking photos or videos? We're doing videos. I would say more photos, but videos have also been included from time to time. Okay, keep going. Piglima passed away. Keep going. RIP. Okay, I'm not good at confrontation. I never want anyone...

to feel bad. And so I've kind of bitten my tongue about this. Um, but I am worried that the next time we hang out with her and she whips her camera out, I'm going to say something I regret. Um, so my question for y'all today is how do I gently tell Nancy to can it with the cannon? You know what, miss peach, you've listened to the show and you did that question like a goddamn pro truth.

Truth. Thank you. That's a 10 out of 10. It's a hell of a setup. It was very clean. You also gave the question in a kind of rhythmic way.

Yeah. You like thought about how to phrase the question, Peach. She ended it very well. I appreciate the fuck out of that. Yeah, I agree. It's great. We have no pitches, but way to ask. Thank you. Nat Attack told me to be concise, so I tried to follow the instructions. What was her attitude when she told you that? Was it sort of like friendly or did you feel the attack energy? It was over email, so hard to read into text, but it felt good. Okay. Yeah.

Okay, good. How long has your dad been with the girlfriend? Nancy. Oh, gosh. 15 years, maybe. Maybe more. Hard to keep track. And is the fact that the camera's out always new? No. But it's annoying.

It is annoying. But it's annoying. I hate when people bring out the camera. I hate it. And the camera comes out, the whole vibe changes, and now you gotta like, or what I really hate is watching somebody pose for the camera of being different, where all of a sudden the camera comes out and they change their vibe, but you're like...

it's not candid that's not how you stand yeah i i absolutely hate it too have you ever watched someone take a selfie in public like 13 times just to get it right kills me whatever you're getting out of that you're losing from the rest of us watching or watch someone film a video like they don't care gareth it's the people don't care i know we're willing to humiliate themselves to do a little tick-tock dance and a public platform i know and i'm like yeah you're not embarrassed

I know. It's it's it is shocking. But it's also it is also like what people are. It is. It's just not how you like. You just don't want to live around that shit. So I don't know why. Because we became old guys. I know. I know we did. And, you know, young people are not grossed out, but they're like, whatever. They're having fun. Slay. So but this is about you, Peach.

Can I ask you a question? You said something. You said you want to solve this before you say something you regret. Yes. Can we hear some of the things you might say to Nancy that you would regret just off the top of your head? Oh, man.

Why did you break up my family? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 10 out of 10, Peach. That was perfection. Now we got to know, did Nancy come in while dad was with mom? Yep. The timeline's fuzzy. Oh, now that bitch is taking pics.

She's even taking pictures of pictures. Last time she was over at our house, she was taking pictures of the framed pictures I have on my wall. I don't ever see pictures. I never see what the pictures are. She just has like thousands of pictures. This is tough, Gareth. Do you have any kids, Princess Peach?

I do. I just had, we just had our first a couple months ago. Okay. Maybe that's why the emotional outburst I just had. Yeah. Okay. Could be something there. Why is she taking the photos in your opinion? I have no idea because like I said, I don't know what she does with all of them. Okay. I don't know if it's a nervous tick, like it gives her something to do when she's around, but I don't know. I understand. She, now she feels like she has a job. She's documenting. You know what we could do? Probably. Probably.

Every time that camera comes out, you and your husband close your eyes. Let me ask you this. Ruin the pics.

I've got a dark. I was thinking before, like, just give the finger, but you don't want to do that. I like that. Close your eyes. Like, make it seem like you're. Oh, yes. Also, how about this? Do a really annoying over the top, like 16 year old Japanese girl pose where you do like the two piece symbols. Your eyes are looking one way and your tongue's going out the other way.

Every single time it comes out and it really changes the vibe. So camera comes out and you go like, yeah, peace.

And she's like, I just act natural. And you go, I'm not acting natural. There's a camera out, Nancy. So I'll pose for it. And every time stand in front of people and be really hammy and totally ruin the vibe so that the camera makes peach turn into a 16 year old girl in Tokyo. And everybody hates what peach is doing. But the only way to get peach to stop is for Nancy to put the camera away. Okay. I like that too. What do you think? Yeah.

I feel like Peach is a little bit collateral in this. Of course she is. Every great war story, a bomb gets dropped in the middle and some soldier has to jump on it, right? All right, let's go a little more straightforward. What if you talk to your dad?

Have you thought about anything like that where you just kind of say to your dad, you could even say some of the stuff that we're pitching to say to her, to your dad, to try to dig into it a little bit and be like, what is going on with that? Like that's irregular. And most people, when they have a baby, don't want a thousand pictures taken of their baby unless they're doing it. Oh, I have an idea too. Go ahead. I got an idea. Yeah.

Every time she takes out her camera, you take out your camera, take a photo of her taking a photo. I kind of was thinking that too. I like that. Just mirror it. Every time her phone gets lifted up, lift up your phone. She goes, what are you doing, hon? You go, taking a photo. What are you doing, hon? She goes, taking a photo. And you go, photo of a photo. You know, you could say it's a trend. You could say you've started a thing. You're like big into this trend of photos being taken of people taking photos. Yeah.

And that ruins every picture. You take a lot of photos here, dear. Yeah. You'd be like, it's funny. I've got more photos of you taking photos than I have of anybody else on my goddamn phone. Go ahead, Gareth. Well, I think one, like you have a baby. You're up a lot. You or your husband one time, if one of you just went, ah, with the photos.

Just one damaging... By the way, that's my natural role in life. And you need these people. Somebody will say to me, it's too much, and I'll go, I'll jump on the bomb and I'll go like this, Nancy, with the photos. Or you can bring in a third party to just sort of do it for you, bring a friend over to go, gosh, what is it with you and all these photos? Or your husband, you're up late, you got a baby.

Something like that that isn't a direct confrontation, but just one line of something like that. Now it's time to squeeze the peach a little bit and get those juices. What are you thinking? Yeah, so, okay, to answer your question about or the pitch about asking, talking to my dad about it.

So when my husband and I got married, we did have several conversations about it because we paid for a wedding photographer. There's nothing I hate more than seeing people at a wedding ceremony with their photos out in the photo of the couple getting married. It's an interesting point. I agree. It's true though. Yeah. So we had, we talked to him, we talked to other family members about it.

And she did keep her phone in her purse the whole night. So I know she's capable of it. But, and I know she's aware that it's a thing because she'll say from time to time, I know, I know, I take so many photos. And it's like, do you know? Because it's excessive. So, yeah, I mean, I guess I...

When I started out, I didn't want to go the direction of saying something snappy because I don't want to hurt her feelings. And it's clear it does something for her in her life that she does it so often. But yeah, maybe I do just need to scream at her. You're saying face to face. Just one day, have a snap. Yeah. All right, let's practice it. Gareth, you're Nancy. What's your dad's name?

Bob. I'll be Bob. Can you tell me a little bit about Bob so I don't just make him Mo? He's more of a Piggly. Is he a Piggly? No. I don't even know who they are.

He's like pretty quiet, reserved. I hear what you're trying to do. You're cutting me out of the goddamn scene. I respect it. No, you know what? It really tees up for this behavior, though. He's willing to get steamrolled into something that nobody likes. Like that behavior is like, you could tell everyone's uncomfortable and he's just kind of sitting there like, say something. This is your job. So, Peach, this is obviously about you.

And we just want to test. Do you want to talk out what you're going to say so you don't blurt out, thanks for ruining our family? Or you want to just see what happens in the moment? Let's just see what happens. Okay. So we are at an event. Your beautiful baby's there. We're all hanging out at the house. In three, two, Piggly and... Oh, this is so lovely here. God, such a nice day too. Right, Bob? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Peach, the baby looks so cute. Oh, God. I know. I'm going to take a couple photos real quick. I know. I know. I'm always doing that. Hold on a second, though. Let me just get some of these. Beautiful. Everyone look over here. Okay. Hey, Bob. Bob, tilt your head in more. Okay. Bob, smile. Okay. Okay, Peach, bring your head in. Oh, show me the baby. Okay. Let's just do two more and then we're done, okay? For the rest of the day. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay, Bob. Okay. All right. Here, there's one. Maybe I'll save my other one for later. No, that's your... Pause. No, just right now and then let's... Pause. Time out, time out, time out. I don't think that's a strong enough start, Peach, because what Nancy would do in real life is say, fine, take the two, and then just later they would come out again. I like it a little bit because... You do? Kind of, because it's not like...

It's definitely, it's not a like grenade, but it is definitely a fire, like a shot fired across the bow a little bit. Hey, Peach, what do you think would happen if you said that to Nancy? You think the camera would come out again in about 10 minutes after she took her two? Oh, God.

I'm asking for real. Maybe. Okay, so now it's 15 minutes later. Let's role play the 15 minutes later then. Exactly. That's what I was hoping for. Okay. All right. So here we go. In three, two, and you obviously don't have to say go after Moe because Moe is go, right? Three, two, Piggly and Moe. Don't say go.

Oh, gosh. Oh, I know you limited me, but I just want to let me just get two more real quick while we're all around here. This is perfect. I shouldn't have taken those two earlier. I'd rather I'd rather we all just put our phones away and enjoy each other's company. Well, she just wants a pick. So, yeah, I just want to get one pick of us all enjoying each other's company. I'm sorry. I know I'm the worst with this.

Where should I stand? Seriously, we're done. Take the one. I don't even want to take the one. You're guessing what Nancy's going to say. We take the one 15 minutes later. Three, two, Piggly and Moe. There we go. One more. There we are. Gareth, pause.

This is 15 minutes later. Yeah, but she took the one and now she's bringing out... We're trying to get to the confrontation. All right. We know you took the photo last 15 minutes. Three, two, pig, legal. Mo. Go. That baby looks cute near the corn. It does. I love the way the baby's face is near the corn. That's a good point, Bob. I'm going to bend a rule quickly that I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but I have to just get one very quickly, Peach. Just one of you two over there. Man, be enough. You...

Enough pictures. Okay. Enough. Enough what? She's saying pictures, Bob. I was hoping she was going to say it, Gareth. Well, I'm also trying to just stick to the reality of the moment. Cut. Don't say cut. Gareth, what is the goal of this? Why don't you be Nancy? I'll be Bob. You be Nancy. Fine. But we're trying to get Peach to have an eruption here. And I'm reacting. Peach is my reaction to what Nancy. I think Nancy is going to be hurt.

Three, two, Piggly and... All right, wow, what a spread. Oh, this is a good pic. Everybody just turn for one quick sec. Click, click, click, click. Enough with the fucking photos! Okay. That happened. Okay. Phone down. Fifteen minutes later.

Three, two, Piggly and Mo. Oh, that's a really, if you don't mind, Peach, you mind just turning? Click, click, click, click, click. Nancy, if you don't put that phone away, I'm going to shove it a place you're never going to find it again. Ooh, hold on, Peach. You like this? I'll tell you what this is going to do. I don't like who I've become. Okay. Is it too harsh?

Yes. Okay. I got a pitch. You've broken me. I got a new pitch. All right. Sometimes at comedy clubs, they will give people little bags where they have to put their phones for the show so people don't film. Ooh.

You could get a few of those. I love this idea. And you could say, this is not just for Nancy. It's everybody. This is for 10 of the guests. Oh, what if we do this? You like phone-less gathering. What if you go, we're all putting our phones away so that we connect more. Now that the baby's here, I want to keep the screens away.

- That's a great angle because I love that. I think that you're basically saying now that the baby's here, we don't like the idea that the baby's being raised in screen land. So we've got these little bags where we're putting our phones, we're all doing it. - While we're all together, phones away. And you could do it via text. - Yes. And when people walk in, you just have them. That's what happens when you go to these clubs. People walk in, give them your phone, they put it in a bag, when you're done, it's unlocked. - What do you think about that, Peach?

I love that idea. That's a great idea. My husband and I are sensitive to, you know, we both grew up or we were in a world without phones and now we're in a world with them and have seen, you know, what it has done to society. And so it wouldn't be totally off base for us to implement this. Like it wouldn't be from out of left field for us to say, hey, let's all put our phones away.

and just be with each other. Yep. And then everyone does it. It's not an attack on Nancy. Yeah. It's not singling her out. And then if someone, if someone's like, I got to check my phone for something, Hey, there you go. Check your phone. But it's just saying it really does shut down the picture Avenue. And yeah. Peach, how do you think you're going to do this? Are you going to do it in person for the first one? You're going to send the first thing via text or in person? What do you prefer?

I think just in person. Okay. Surprise attack. So she can't find a way to make up an excuse of why she needs her phone. Can you do us a big favor and have your voice note recording you saying it? Yes. Okay. You'll have your phone there in a bag. That'd be really helpful. And then you have your phone out. You can pretend like you're using an example where you could go like, hey, guys.

I'm asking everyone to see these phones and just keep the mic near your face. I'm asking you guys. As you're showing her how to put it in the bag. Talk about a natural. As you're showing how to put it in the bag, the voice note is there recording it so that we can hear you and hopefully hear Nancy go like, oh, but what about the photos? And then you go like, we've got so many photos. You know what we'll do? At the end of the hang, we'll all pose for one big photo. That's a great idea too. You do a natural at the end photo pose.

This is great. Okay. This is a win. And I never would have thought of that. Neither. It's genius. It only came from our very bad scene work. Without buttering out in the scene. Which brings me to Piggly and Moe, audience. No, it doesn't. Thank you, Peach. Bye. No. Thank you, Peach. Record it for us. Let us know. Thank you. You should see Jake's shorts. They're disgusting. Thank you. Thanks so much. Bye. American flag's disgusting? No.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome back to the show. We know you are a returning guest. We don't know anything else. So what is your name and what was your first call? I am just a fella who likes to fight with 13 and 14 year olds. I know who you are, Mr. Hot Takes. Oh, it's Hot Takes. My man. How's it going? Dude, we keep talking about you.

That's great. I keep talking about you guys. So it all works. Hey, Mr. Hot Takes, what's going on? Not much. I am in final preparation stage for our big festival tomorrow. Hot Takes Fest. Hot Takes Fest is tomorrow. My outfit just arrived today. What are you wearing? I'll be spending...

Well, nothing special. I just searched flame jacket on Amazon and bought some cheapo $20 suit jacket with flames on it. Was that off our pitch or is that your own hot take? That was my own hot take. Great work. Additionally, yeah, I mean, I've got every class coming down to the library tomorrow. I invited every class of kids. I sent an email to the staff that basically said, come fight us.

And we're waiting. So are you about to ask a question, Jake? Yeah. My question is going to be Mr. Hot takes. Will you remind us all what this festival is, what you're doing with it? Take your time. Give us all the details, how it's been going. It's right now we're doing this call end of May. So you've had a full year of,

Just walk us through everything that's going on. It's been a while. Yes. No, I'm sorry. So every week a student, different students would come with their hot take. It has to be on something stupid, something in any, something not popular, but something that they just will refuse to change their mind on. And they would present to the class. The entire class would spend 10 minutes yelling at them, shouting at them, telling them how they're wrong. And then, yeah,

There were return hot takes. Some kids would come back the next week and say, I want to fire back. So they would have a hot take responding to the one from before. And so we had all these hot takes we had shared with each other and we wanted to go bigger. Yeah. So we had to spread it outside the classroom. So they all picked their best hot take from the year. Some have picked two or three. Wow.

And we are inviting other classes, sixth and seventh graders and all of the teachers in the building to come and hear the different presentations. We're spread out across the library. And we're encouraging them to fight, to argue. And so walk me through what that fighting and arguing is. Because we have, truthfully, Mr. H, we have a lot of teachers who have emailed in who are doing this.

So walk us through how your school is doing this to see if other people can take over the festival. Is it a way to encourage critical thinking mixed with debate? Who orchestrates it? Who controls so it's not just all kids yelling? How do you keep it so it's not chaos? Will you walk us through your plan of action?

Yeah. So what they'll do is they come in, they have two or three slides, and each slide is a different point to their hot take. That I consider the critical thinking skills. Kids are doing research. Kids are looking into it, so they have to develop a quick argument. And then...

I would like to say I'm in control of the debate, but I'll be honest. Sometimes I am the loudest shouter. Right. Because you get into it. Because they did it to me for a year. Payback. Yes. I'm coming at you now. And because they're inane, because they're not important, they don't, they're not mean to each other. They are just like yelling. By the way, this is how we, this is how we should all in our country discuss politics.

Just stop getting so mad at each other and just pretend they're hot takes. So when is the festival, Mr. H? Tomorrow. It is all day. We are going 8.05 to 2.30 in our school library. That is fucking awesome. It really is. That really is awesome. If I was at school and this was happening, this would be so exciting. End of year, awesome.

Hot take. Just, it's awesome. And then I got a question for you, Mr. H. Who do you think are going to be Hall of Famers? Or does it come from the year? Or does it come from the festival? Because I think it should come, my hot take, it shouldn't just be the festival based. A Hall of Famer is who killed it all year and who kills it at the Super Bowl. Because to get in the Hall of Fame, you also have to be a Super Bowl champion. But you also need regular season stats.

That's right. You want to be Tom Brady, not Eli Manning. Exactly right. That's how it goes. But I'll tell you that the Hall of Fame has generated a lot of debate among the kids. Of course. Over what is the hot take, the best argued one, or is it the one about the stupidest subject that is like, why would anybody have an opinion about that? I mean, we've discussed that delineation a lot. What's your hot take on what determines a Hall of Famer?

I think a Hall of Famer is someone who finds something that nobody else really cares about and is able to be really upset about it and argue with a room full of kids to get them to care too. But the Hall of Famer, in my opinion, yes, it's got to be a ridiculous hot take,

But they have to win over the room. But at the end, everybody does go, I don't agree that ketchup is disgusting, but I understand where they're coming from. Yeah. Yes. I think that's true. That's the best place that we can get to on a lot of these. I haven't seen anybody completely convince a room. Nobody ever changes their minds.

- Yeah, nobody ever changes their mind. - All you gotta do at the end is go, I don't agree, but I respect your point of view. - But I will tell you something, like my favorite moments are when a whole room of kids is arguing, like I had one kid get up and rank cereal, kids love to rank stuff, and the next week a kid came up and he said, I changed mine and it was all cereal sucks.

And he just, he yelled. And then he said he ate cold oatmeal for breakfast. And if you've ever seen a room where balls against the camera, but it was great to see him pull his own. Great. I think it really also teaches. I was just going to say, it teaches some kind of longer term lesson in believing in your own thoughts and feelings. I love this. Mr. H.

Congratulations on the wonderful festival. For real. We are excited. We are eager. If you record any of the hot takes and there's audio that we could play, we'd be happy to do it. If not, not. But, you know, we're in. I can get some video tomorrow. We have we've got a red carpet going out. I got stanchions with that thing.

Talk to him as much as you can. Cut it together. We know you're a talented guy, so just cut something together. It could be pretty basic. Drive the train. Maybe if there's any version of the kids are learning editing, let the kids edit it. Yep. We can do this. We got that. And then we'll just air the whole thing. Yeah. Whatever you want to do.

Okay. Well, that works. Mr. H, you are... The hot take is you and those kids are in charge. You are our Hall of Famer. We talk about you and this whole system a lot. I just think it's awesome. So good luck tomorrow, and we're excited for the follow-up and to talk to some of the winners. Hello. Hello. How are we doing, guys? Mr. Hot Take. Ah!

Jake, I'm glad you got it. I wanted to do a kind of cool I'm back thing when I got on the phone, but I chickened out at the last second. How do you know it's him? Because I just re-listened to the Repeat Wednesday episode when it was cut together and I remember the voice. And Mr. Hot Tex, can I tell you something that I did in your honor? Yes. It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago.

And so I flew back from Alaska to get home and my wife said, what is it that you want for your birthday?

And I wanted my daughters to do a hot take. So on my birthday, I sat on the couch and my daughters each did a full presentation of their hot take. They had written up an essay. Each of them was over a page long. They delivered it. They had multimedia aspects. They had moments where they did interactions with each other.

Dude, it was awesome. What were the hot takes? Can we know? Yeah, they both really want iPhones now that they're entering sixth grade because I got them Bark phones. But the Bark phones are no internet, but the problem is they never work. That's an issue. And they go into camps and stuff, and we need to be able to communicate. So they did all this research about how I can control what's on their screens and

And I can monitor everything. And considering they're already on iPads for school, this idea of not giving them the phone is a phony idea because they're already on them. And I'm not able to monitor those because it's under their mom's Apple ID. And if I do it, I can be strict on everything. And they won.

Wow. So for your birthday, you got your daughter's iPhones. Yes. But by the way, they had written full essays. They were perfect paragraphs. So you, sir, I owe a thank you to. It's going to be a new family tradition. Every holiday, what I want them to get me is a hot take.

Oh, I love this. So you've done it, my man, and I appreciate you. But this is your follow-up, so please take over. Where are we at? How was the festival? Yeah, I was just going to say. Run wild. Okay, guys. Last time we talked, it was the day before the festival, and I'm going to tell you, I had no idea how this was going to go. I was flying in completely blind. The day of the festival comes. I wear my fire jacket. First two students I see walk in.

made a mascot they stayed up the night before and made an entire hot take tuesday mascot a marshmallow s'more with roasting flames coming out of their head oh my god do we have a photo of it i sent in a photo i think of myself and one of the students donning the uh donning it let me try to track it down hang on okay and then keep going

And so I teach five blocks a day. And in those five blocks, the first block was a little quiet. You know, a couple of classes came down. The kids were great. They were arguing. They were like teachers were coming down in their prep block. But it was quiet. And I was like, that's okay. Second block.

Kids went to one of the classes and said, hey, can we go to the library for the hot take festival? Teachers were like, okay. Brought it down. Second block. More crowded. By the end of the day, there was 150 kids in the library. We're seeing the marshmallow mascot. It's awesome. And your jacket is also awesome. Incredible.

Oh, I think that jacket now becomes whoever's doing Hot Take Tuesday before the festival. Oh, yes. It just gets passed on. Yes. Yeah, so by the end of the day, every class, every teacher was saying, hey, can we bring my class down? The kids keep talking about it. Oh, my God. 150 kids coming in to argue with my students, and the students did amazing. Wow. So just, oh, my God. It's packed. Wow.

Yeah, it was packed. So kids would get up in front of that whole group and do it? Well, what we did was we did... By the way, because there's kids' faces, we might not be able to post this, but I think there's at least 60 kids in a room. Is that right?

That's yeah. And that's just one shot. You're missing behind it. You're missing the video. I did send in my principal approved everything I sent in. If there's over 20 kids in a photo, I think we are OK. There's nothing really identifiable in there for those kids. But that's that's a portion of it. It got more crowded.

It got bigger. There's kids behind me. Oh, my God. I mean, we had kids who convinced teachers. Kids came down four blocks. Every block, they just, their hot take was convincing their teacher to bring them to the hot take festival. Yes. It was banged out.

Wow. It went so well, gentlemen, that the other eighth grade teacher who this year was like, I can't do hot takes. That's your thing. That's your thing. And I kept talking her into it. At the end of the day, came to me and said, I got to do hot takes. This is crazy. This is great. Jake, is hot takes the biggest win the show's had? Yes. Has to be.

No, I mean, it is. This is fully and it's growing. It's evolving. It's spreading. This is the legacy. This is I mean, this is our curriculum now. It is part of our curriculum. Kids are graded on it. They will do it. Every eighth grader will end the year with a hot take festival. I mean, it's our curriculum. Here is a plea to the audience.

If you, cause we've heard some people. And first of all, I want to apologize to the kids who listen with their parents for some of the vulgarity. We get a lot of those things. People being like, I listened in the car with my kids. Could you ease up on the swinger calls? It's hard. They're people too. They're people too. But for any kid listening, for any teacher listening, for any parent listening who has a kid listening,

Let's try to get hot takes in the school. Have somebody at the administration or your friend who's a teacher listen to... I think we did them all in that recent follow-up. They could just listen to that one.

We can throw this follow-up soon. Let's spread this. This is June. We've got all summer. Next fall. I agree. You've got all summer to plan. As a teacher, I can tell other teachers, listen, I've done stuff that has bombed. This did not. So if you are a teacher and you're like, I don't know if I can handle it, you can handle it. Yeah, but not only that, I'm telling you, I experimented with my own kids.

And as you know, this as a teacher, they wrote full essays. Oh, yeah. It was these were the best essays. I've watched them try to do essays for school where they're like, what comes next? And I'm like, I'm not telling you what to write. And they're like, but I don't know. They knew how to argue this case. By the end, they're literally going in conclusion.

I'm like, yeah, it's helpful. I think that's a helpful life skill. The other great thing that happened with this is I had been freaking out about the hall of fame because the kids were all about the hall of fame. And I was like, how do I do the hall of fame without disappointing? That's true. That's hard. You don't want anyone to lose. Yeah. Don't want anyone to lose guys. They didn't bring up the hall of fame once after the festival because they were so psyched. Cause it didn't matter. Wow. It didn't matter to them anymore. Whereas two months before they were, they were trying to argue with me what hall pot,

hot Hall of Fame criteria would be. Not one brought it up afterwards. Every kid walked out of there telling me who they convinced, who they argued with. That was the biggest victory out of all of it. This is great. This is great. This really is.

Can we see the slideshow? It's very wholesome. I did see other pictures up there, so let's take a look here. Yeah, so we've got the full slideshow, which is about like 45 slides long, which is awesome. Okay, well, let's go slide by slide. Okay, great. We can go all the way through it. I don't think we can do 45 slides long because we can't post 45. I didn't know what to include. All right. You know what we could do, Mr. H? Yeah. Can you... Now, I'm going to ask you for a favor here.

All right, let's do it. Can you create a Mr. Hot Takes website where it's...

Square space. Square space, buddy. Where it's saying what it is you do. We can put a link to the episode on to that. It's something we could send to teachers and what parents who listen to this could send to the school. You know, it would be great on there to have some page where it's like how to do your own hot takes. Yes. And with your contact information, if they have any questions, because sure, this is part of our legacy, but this is yours.

It's ours. You're Batman. We're Robin. We're all Batman. I agree. He's Batman. We're Robin. We're all Batman. You. We're all Batman. Thank you. Hot take. I'll do a hot take on why we're all Batman. I'll show you, Johnson. You got nothing. I need some time to prep. Okay. So what do you think about doing that? And then we could literally have a thing we can direct people to.

Of this is a fun thing we're asking the curriculum to do at your school. And we could probably have a bunch of parents send this to their schools and see if we can get this cooking by fall.

Yeah, let's do it. I can do that. If I've learned anything from your ad, Squarespace is easy. Anyone can do it. That's right. Very easy. Very user-friendly. You're going to build it up. You're going to have the SEO tools, the whole thing. And then the new Squarespace, we've done enough Gareth Reynolds promotion on this goddamn show. The new one is Hot Takes. Hot Takes. If you want to see how easy it is, go to Hot Takes.

Hot take. Enough, Gareth Reynolds. What do you mean? All I talk about is the BDSM one. So what do you think, Mr. Hot takes? Will you run that? And then will you tell us? We will obviously advertise the hell out of it on our channels. Yeah. Oh, that's easy. I can do that. Because you already got 45 pages. I have a whole thing, yeah. This is great. I will give the addendum on some of them.

My students didn't pay so much attention to their grammar. That's fine. We're all learning. You don't need that. We're all texting anyway. AI is going to fix that. You guys want to see some of the greatest hits? Yeah, let's see it. I love it. I'm excited for this. I can do my summer project. You got a big... So we've got a collection of titles. Wow. Veggies don't belong on pizza. Short people have an advantage in sports. All water tastes different.

Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving. These are great. These are great. Ranking sports rivalries. A lot of fun.

Which sports are good? Why not dabbing? Why not dabbing? And then all the kids are dabbing in a photo. Oh my lord. This is great. Yeah, I'll tell you the why not dabbing. They did an entire multimedia presentation I couldn't include because they went around and they got all of their classmates to dab and was like, look how cool this looks. Jake, one just absolutely, I've never thought about this, but this is so true. Tater tots have so much more flavor than fries. I agree.

They are saltier and have more spices in them. They also have a more concentrated flavor due to their smaller size. They're better. Every time I get fries, they taste like nothing. I agree. They're better. They are better. Yeah. It's a great hot take. They're way better.

Wearing Crocs with socks ruined the look. Well, that's a tough one. That's especially how I take around kids is because middle schoolers wear socks with Crocs, which is outrageous to me. I'm okay with it. These are great. Just for Garrett. Uh-oh. Cats are the most overrated pet and shouldn't be domesticated. Yeah.

Wrong. They don't have any reasons. They don't do anything but lay around and break stuff. Half the time they don't like you. They leave dead stuff on the lawn. If you don't want to be scratched, you have to cut off their toes. Whoever did this hot take is the best. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah. Why did someone see a presentation? Why did someone see a lion or a tiger and think that would be a cute path? This is very good. It's a great, it's a great hot take. This is excellent.

Please do the website. We're really excited. And for the community, let's see other schools that do this and then follow up with us and Mr. H. Let's see if we can make this a legacy. I agree. Yeah. Listen, I will take all of that every time. Jake, you telling long day today, you telling me that your kids did that makes my day. Yeah.

This is great. I need it done. I need more people to tell me how great this is. I'm not kidding with you. It was what I asked for on my birthday, and I was sitting there on the couch thinking about you. And as they were doing these presentations, I was like, this is excellent. And I was like, let me look at the paper to review them. They were a full-page single space. They did that over the summer. Wow.

Yeah. I was like, this is a great way for them to argue a point, do homework, get passionate about it. Well, you know why? Because it's like the actual idea of getting gratification on your own thoughts or having some sort of payoff. You just, it isn't,

It's just a rare thing. So I think that that's why it's so great. So good for you. Congrats on the festival being a hit. You guys are the best. And I just want to say, Gareth, you snuck it in last time before, and I didn't get a chance to respond before I hung up.

I love you, buddy. I love you too, man. I love you too. All right, Mr. H. Way to go, buddy. You're in that. I'll send that website when it's up. Thank you, my friend. Appreciate it, man. Bye. Bye. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash heretohelppod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix, and master by Chris Fowler.

Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostyke. Animations by Andrew Strzelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand-up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

All video episodes of Season 1 are available now on Patreon, and Season 2 video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash heretohelppod. Hey there, we're Heretos. That's the new name we have for you. This is Gareth. Just reminding you, if you have not checked out my new podcast, next we have also a HeadGum production. Please do that. It is a show that just has a lot of good, quick-hitting segments that are funny.

The show is just silly, goofy. It's a good time. I think people will like it. That's why it was named Time Magazine's Podcast of the Year. That's a lie. Don't look it up. But, you know, listen, we're here to help the best. So if you like this show, I think you might like my new podcast called Next We Have. Please give it a listen. And if you like it, you know, do all that stuff you got to do with podcasts. Appreciate it.