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cover of episode Esther Calling - Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This

Esther Calling - Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This

2025/6/30
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
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男士
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男士：我今年42岁，最近才开始一段真正的恋爱关系，但内心却充满了恐慌。虽然这段关系很美好，沟通也很顺畅，但我总是担心会发生不好的事情。我害怕与人过于亲近，害怕别人对我有期待，这可能源于我的家庭文化，我们总是被教导要取悦他人，把别人的需求放在首位。我一直渴望爱情，但同时也害怕在关系中迷失自我，害怕重蹈父母的覆辙，在关系中消失。我曾经被霸凌，这让我更加不自信，总是觉得自己不够好。现在，我需要学会如何处理这段关系，如何克服内心的恐惧，如何与伴侣坦诚沟通，如何接纳自己内心的不同声音。 Esther Perel：你的恐慌源于你对亲密关系的渴望和对失去的恐惧。你从小就学会了压抑自己的情感，取悦他人，这让你很难在关系中表达自己的需求。你被霸凌的经历也让你对人际关系充满了不信任。你需要认识到，你的恐慌是一种自我保护机制，但它同时也阻碍了你建立真正的亲密关系。你需要学会接纳自己内心的不同声音，与它们对话，而不是试图压制它们。你需要与你的伴侣坦诚沟通，分享你的恐惧和不安全感。只有这样，你才能建立一段健康、稳定的恋爱关系。

Deep Dive

Chapters
A 42-year-old man, new to romantic relationships, experiences intense panic despite a seemingly positive relationship. He seeks Esther Perel's help to understand and overcome this fear, which he believes might sabotage his relationship.
  • First real relationship at 42
  • Constant panic despite positive communication and safety
  • Fear of bad news, even when it's a nice conversation

Shownotes Transcript

He's 42 and is in his first real relationship. And he's panicking. He's afraid he doesn't know how to be in a true romantic partnership. With Esther's help, he explores how his past has contributed to his fears of intimacy and abandonment.

Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism

Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected].

Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

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