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cover of episode If He's A "High Value Man", What Am I?

If He's A "High Value Man", What Am I?

2024/3/11
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
E
Esther
女
女嘉宾
Topics
女嘉宾：我反复回到伤害我的伴侣身边，他自认为是‘高价值男性’。这段关系中，我总是被指责，我的付出不被认可，我的脆弱被用来攻击我。我从小在家庭环境中缺乏认可和赞美，这影响了我后来的恋爱关系。我原生家庭的不良关系经历，特别是母亲在一段长期遭受精神和肉体虐待的关系中无法脱身，深深影响了我与男性的亲密关系。我被‘高价值男性’的自我评价所吸引，这反映了我内心的某种需求。在原生家庭中被忽视，让我在恋爱关系中更容易被贬低，并认为负面关注胜过没有关注。我试图通过努力取悦伴侣来证明自己比母亲做得更好，从而弥补原生家庭的创伤。我努力取悦伴侣，但这种付出不被认可，让我感到空虚。我与欣赏我的人保持良好关系，但浪漫关系中却难以接纳欣赏我的人。我感谢原生家庭让我知道自己不想要什么样的人生。 Esther：她反复回到贬低她的关系中，可能与原生家庭经历和社会环境有关。她可能潜意识里感到内疚，无法拥有比母亲更好的生活。她内心存在矛盾，理性上知道自己应该更好，但情感上却无法离开。她试图通过重现原生家庭关系模式来改变它，但这只会让她陷入同样的循环。她需要与内心的那个受伤的小女孩连接，并告诉她不必重蹈覆辙。她的伴侣对她的批评和评判，实际上是他自身的不安全感和缺陷的投射。她不必重蹈覆辙，可以建立不同的关系。她应该与自己对话，寻找不同的关系模式。她试图通过重现原生家庭关系模式来改变它，但这只会让她陷入同样的循环。

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Chapters
A woman discusses her struggle to break free from a toxic relationship, despite recognizing the pattern of abuse she experienced in her childhood home.

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Esther talks to a woman who, despite her best efforts, finds herself implicated in the same toxic cycle of abuse from her partner that she grew up watching between her parents. Rationally, she knows she deserves better, but just can't seem to get out from under this painful repetition of events. Esther talks her through why she thinks she finds herself back here time and time again.

Esther Callings are a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected].

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