Catching up with Cash
23:31 Share

True Story Media.

Springfest and Ego Days are here at Lowe's. Right now, get a free select Ego 56-volt battery with purchase of a select trimmer, blower, or mower kit. Plus, shop today for new and exclusive items you need for your lawn. So get ready for spring with the latest in innovation from Ego, the number one rated brand in cordless outdoor power. Only at Lowe's. We help, you save. Offer valid through 4-2. Selection varies by location while supplies last.

This episode is brought to you by Pluto TV. Are you looking for your next case? Pluto TV has all your favorite crime dramas streaming for free, which means suspicion is free with countless cases to crack. Watch CSI, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Blue Bloods, Tracker, FBI, and SWAT, all for free from all your favorite devices. Feel the free. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

Hey, it's Britt. Thank you so much for listening to Season 2 of You Probably Think This Story Is About You. In Season 1, I shared the most personal details of my life. And in the second season, we started to share other people's stories. It's been a big transition, and we learned a lot talking with Lou and Eve, Cash, and Gina and Viv.

I was curious to catch up with each of them. I wanted to know what their experience has been like after sharing their stories for the show. So today we are sitting down with Cash. I know we caught up right before, but have you been sharing it with people?

Yeah, so that's like, this is so crazy. So I don't know what day it was. I think I text you guys, but I was like, I'm sharing it. It's time. And so I shared it to a lot of actually my adopted family. And it's like a very weird time right now with Wanda,

just having a lot more needs and et cetera. And there's like family drama, et cetera. So I shared it with several of them and I got feedback from them. And that first episode, I think it was like Wanda, you know? And then the next day it was Wanda, you know? So I think that it was like a good reminder to them as well that I'm a part of this conversation.

I think it was just a good, perfect timing almost to be able to send that and share more about just the role that she has in my life. The second episode, I feel like I shared it with three of them because I was more nervous because that's when it got into the nitty gritty of the abuse and stuff, which when I was listening to it myself again, I'm just so appreciative of the way that

Like the narrative and the way you framed it because it wasn't like very gruesome and like, you know, like the nitty gritty. So it made me feel comfortable to share that because it wasn't like I was going to like explicit. So I do appreciate that. And then one of the comments I got from, she's like my,

my niece, I guess, but she's like older than me. And she was like, she goes, when I released, when I gave her the first episode, she's like, don't ever send me anything without the second one with it. And so that was, I was like, oh, thank you. And so it just felt, it felt good. It felt liberating. I think I was like, these are people that even though I was adopted into this family, I don't think that they knew the extent of foster care and more like stuff about my life. And I shared it with my BFF, who's going to ride or die regardless.

It was a good moment. And also, I listened to it in the car with my daughter to it. And so she's like, you sound weird. So she's, you know, she's going to give me the, like, the other feedback. Well, I know...

Sydney did this with my story, but Sydney has this incredible way of taking a very traumatic thing, but sharing it in a way that is comfortable. Like it's not sensationalizing it. It's not like creating clickbait so that people understand.

you know, feel some sort of way, but it's, it's thoughtful. I'm glad you noticed that because it's hard to share your story. It's harder for me knowing people that I know are listening rather than I'd rather have a world full of strangers listen. And so to know and to share it with people that know me is really the hardest part. And, um,

The way that Sid did my story and, you know, the same way she framed yours is it is empowering without it being uncomfortable. It made me remind myself that, like, you know, like, I've done some, like, incredible things. Like, it made me proud. So I do appreciate, like, it was a very, very proud moment. Even listening to the second episode in that part. One of my favorite things is at the end when we talk about Little Cash and, you know,

You shared that you thought Little Cash would share her story one day. When we talked before, it was before it was out in the public and now it is. So, you know, what does it feel like?

ah man well I think one emotion I wasn't I don't know if I was like fully prepared for it just like the nervousness of it right because like even though it is so empowering to like to speak and to share your story like there's yeah there's that fear that's there and um so I think there's that part but like no I I completely agree with that statement too is like

I was going to tell my story and I have been telling my story in all these ways that I like, again, I didn't realize that that was me selling my story at that meeting. And then here I am again. And so I think it just, it was more of a like confirmation. Like it wasn't anything like new, but it was like, Oh, look at you. You're still doing it, you know? So, and I love that. Yeah. The baby cash to it. I think it gives me that like visibility.

you know? So we're here and we're, we're still doing it. So that's what I'm thinking. We had talked about being a mom and how we both try and put names on things, you know, so our, so our kids are,

don't feel like it's taboo, right? Like they, they understand that they have a voice in what's happening to them. Has this experience changed how you deal with your daughter? Or, you know, like, has it changed you as a parent at all? She normally she is still my biggest critic. So I just gotta say that. But I think it's like, there was a

a proudness, I will say, I kid you not. The second episode I didn't listen to in the car with her when I was, because the first one, it was easier to do on the ride to school. And the second one, I was like, I don't know if I'm ready for her to hear this. And so full disclosure is like, I haven't had that like child abuse conversation with her, but yeah,

I remember thinking she's 11 now and this was happening around that time. And the fact that my daughter is nowhere near the same experience. And it was like a badge of honor for me as I was driving and I was like, I did this. And I had that. I remember I had that same thought when she was seven because around that time I was no longer with my mom. Yeah, I don't know. It was just a fun moment when I was listening to that second episode and thinking like,

I am, I'm strong because of this. Like I'm a better parent because of this. I'm a better mother because of this. When I remember when she turned seven, it was a sadness. But now at 11, I'm like,

I got this. I sat my three youngest down when they were 11, 12 and 13 and like sat them across from me. And I told them that story. I told them the story of me being raped at their age. And I told them the story because I

Being a mom of boys, I wanted them to understand that they make a difference in how they treat women. And it is incredibly impactful. I think that a lot of people don't understand the impacts of sexual abuse on every aspect of your life.

We still talk about it. One of my sons, he's 20. He's six foot four and a football player. Like he is ginormous. He was home for the weekend. He flew home back to his school and he didn't get in till like midnight. And so he had taken the train in and he was talking about he was like, it was sketchy, like sketchy as fuck. And I'm like, imagine how women feel like you're a six foot four kid.

dude, like nobody's messing with you. And I'm like, imagine somebody that is a female and half, half your size. And he's like, Oh my gosh. He's like, I texted my girlfriend and I was like, I can't imagine how you would feel if you were here. And I'm like, Oh, that's the boy I wanted to raise. Like just to even be aware. I think that this is such an amazing gift.

for your daughter, what you've done. Because not only, as you said, it made you a better parent, but you've shown her that she can have a voice. Like there's nothing off the table. We didn't talk about it at all. You took the shame out of it for her, you know? And so she knows that she...

wouldn't have to hide because you would actually understand. And that is so incredibly powerful. You gave little cash a voice, but you also gave a voice to so many other people that have experienced similar things that maybe felt like they couldn't. And

As you said, it's not something that's talked about. I appreciate you sharing that story too, because yeah, like maybe I'm not seeing the immediate, like my daughter realizing that like I'm going to be here, but it's like that can make the difference when she's 16, 17, 18. And so that is very like, just like...

powerful to think about that. And, and I think also it was just like the perfect timing in a weird way because, you know, at 11, like right now it's like the whole boyfriend conversation. And, and so I just think that, I don't know, a lot of things lined up. Like it was just the way things lined up. I just, I feel so grateful because it's like these conversations, I think what a perfect time to have them, you know, like,

The time is now, you know, people are really taking ownership of their voice, their like experience. Yeah. I'm just imagining when you were taking this leap of faith, when you started, you know, and just to be where you're at now and giving power to other people's voices. And so I just, I'm so appreciative. And it's like, part of me too is like, yeah, I want more people to hear it more and more and more. And then I know that like, I'm even growing in my confidence to continue to send it to the people who are closest to me. Um, yeah.

Because, yeah, like you said, like, the shift is happening. Like, you know, which is exciting to say. There's still nervousness, though. I'm like, even thinking, I'm like, I feel like I can just feel my blood pressure. I'm just like, it's happening. I'm really grateful to everyone that listens and shares and, like, understands what the point is. And for me, the point is, like,

All these things happen in people's lives and we should be relating to each other on social

Just that as opposed to like continuing to divide. Do you think that you're going to be a Wanda? Yeah, I think so. I don't know if I told you I was already. It's called like for the foster parents in L.A. County. It's called a resource parent. So I did that actually in the past. I've already done like respite for a foster care kid. It was just I had a one bedroom apartment. It wasn't going to work out. So it's going to happen. I will foster. I will have other kids. I know that.

How do you feel about connecting with like Wanda's family more and then also like your siblings? Like is there have you sent it to any of them? I just feel like there's a lot of like healing that has to do that. Probably like maybe the podcast would just like throw some salt on type thing. It's probably like deeper.

I know how hard it is and how uncomfortable it is to address like my own trauma and deal with it. And it might just be that it's a little too close to home for your bio siblings. And, you know, like they're just not ready to face that yet. And that might be why it might not really have anything to do with you, because there's probably a lot of experiences they had in foster care that you don't know about.

Give them a minute because it might just be that they're not ready to talk about it. It's a little hard when you know somebody is so brave and you don't feel that brave.

It's really hard when you start healing and maybe other people in your life haven't. Like it's uncomfortable for everybody and they don't really understand because you're not moving or doing the same things that you used to. And it's, you know, it shifts and usually positively and I'm sure it will.

Give your kids a summer full of fun and learning. Give them ID Tech. ID Tech camps are all about high-energy fun, meeting new friends, and are taught by elite instructors. Located at 75 prestigious college campuses all across the country, ID Tech features over 50 epic courses like BattleBots, AI and machine learning, coding, game design, and more. There's something for every kid ages 7 to 17 at ID Tech. Sign up at IDTech.com and use code IDTech to save $150 on a week of a lifetime.

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. It's tax season, and we're all a bit tired of numbers. But here's one you need to hear. $16.5 billion. That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Now here's a good number. $100 million. That's how many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it. Guaranteed. Save up to 40% your first year at LifeLock.com slash podcast. Terms apply.

Business taxes was stressing about all the time and all the money you spent on your taxes. This is my bill. Now business taxes is a TurboTax small business expert who does your taxes for you and offers year round advice at no additional cost so you can keep more money in your business. Now this is taxes into it. TurboTax get an expert now on TurboTax dot com slash business only available with TurboTax live full service.

As someone with lived experience now working in advocacy, what do you think most people get wrong about foster care that you hope your story helps them understand? The immediate first thing that comes to my mind is actually when I went through this training as to become a resource parent or a resource family for basically a foster care parent.

I remember when they were speaking about foster youth, it was very negative connotation. And despite me sharing this specific story

of my experience in foster care and also just relating to the bigger picture about how ultimately the goal of you know foster care is to reunify families not to like keep these kids here not to create broken homes not to just adopt out right like you want to reunify the kids with um with their parents because statistics and data shows that that is still what's best for children

And I can even say like, while my adoption gave me so much, there's a lot of things that I've lost because I'm not, I don't have that connection with biological family. But I want to say that like a misconception is that like all foster youth or the majority or whatever have tons of issues and need like, you know, deep therapy and they're going to have issues the rest of their life.

I think what you can show through my experience is that that's not the case, that we are advocates. We go on to become doctors. Like we are, you know, like there were seeds that get planted and we sprout up later. Right. And so I think that I want to be mindful that we are still kids. And despite the circumstances that we still deserve to be treated as such, like with the happiness, it doesn't have to be deep and dark times all the time. Like just allow us to be kids, you know,

like even how you introduce like if you if you're a foster parent don't remind people that this is my fostered kid but this is your child that you're taking in right like don't create those separations but the biggest thing for me that always pops up when this question comes it's just that a misconception is that we're all troubled youth for the rest of our life and I don't think that that's the case I think that

There are troubling aspects. There are things just like even in or outside of foster care that people get help for. And we're just like that. We're normal kids and we deserve love, you know. So that would be my biggest thing. What I think that I think that we were able to kind of highlight that in this episode and talk about that as well. So any kid that doesn't have somebody that is, you know, looking out for them is vulnerable.

It doesn't change who that child is. Every kid deserves to wake up and be like, yeah, I can do whatever I want. I can go be an astronaut. Like, it doesn't matter where I came from or what happened. Like, I can go do whatever I want. And it really is having someone like Wanda in your life or a person that is like, yeah, like, it's not even a question. You can go do whatever in the hell you want.

Sometimes certain state policies could be restrictive to what foster youth have access to. And so one of this is like, I remember for dental, for example, I needed, well, my dentist wanted me to have this retainer to, I had some compacted teeth or whatever. And then Juana was like, okay, I'm going to petition. They're going to deny me. So she petitioned, petitioned, they denied it, they denied. And the dentist, and Juana got in cahoots and they were so upset and they went and he went and

did it himself. He like purchased everything that he needed. It gave me this retainer for my mouth. And I think about that because like, ultimately like having that extra support and people to advocate on behalf of foster youth is important. We deserve just as much as like, uh,

other kids as well. Like even with the restrictive state policy, like the state needs to also kind of look at those things and stuff. And, but I'm just so appreciative of that dentist. I'll never forget him. I think years later I wrote a review for him and I was like, I'll never forget. And I remember Wanda, like, you know, she was not afraid to talk about some of those issues with other people. And she went, she went to bat for me all the time. And so, yeah, we were kids at the end of the day and we deserve respect.

just as much as anybody else. Because we've talked about I'm a CASA and I see so many kids that they were on the soccer team or they were on the school basketball team or, you know, they were they were doing what kids do. And then now they're in this this world where they don't have a voice and they don't have any control. And that's like it's obviously not the most important thing, but it's always on my list of like

what, what do you do? Like, what are your activities and how can we, how can we keep you just being a kid and, you know, keep you with your teammates or, you know, your dance class, or do you play the piano? Like whatever, whatever the normal life is, even in chaos, the kids had something that they loved and that was important to them. And, and,

probably doesn't fit in a black trash bag they're just normal kids now like applying to stuff and I'm you know I'm a former foster youth like I say that not because like I need some witty pity you know tissue but it's like just FYI let's see how the room and I will speak from this experience you know and so yeah I I appreciate you I guess you get it and I think obviously I think

The pain that you've had in your past, like I think sympathizes with the pain that I've had. And so I think that that's why we're just on a different level of understanding. One bad person can cause so much harm. It's like it to me, it's like this ripple effect. And I feel the same way about people that do the opposite of causing harm, the people that support each other and the people that understand and empathize and care and protect. And I think that ripple is bigger.

And I think it helps so much. And you do that in such an incredible way. We're connected forever, FYI. I still am going to make my way up to Seattle.