Gina and Viv | Road trips & moving in together
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True Story Media. Today, we are catching up with Gina and Viv. I wanted to know what their experience has been like after sharing their stories for the show.

How's our favorite couple? Tell us everything. We're great. We have survived a 34-hour road trip with just driving straight through, avoiding snowstorms, communicating so well. I know. It was really good. Right now, we are in that phase of closing the gap of long distance. And that road trip was part of it to bring Luna to Colorado. Yeah.

So I'm excited. And I love that. And the Luna part is because Luna has anxiety around other dogs. And so trying to make sure that your dogs can also have healed and have done the work and can move slowly and thoughtfully in their own stuff. Gina, are you...

planning on moving to Colorado or is this a cohabitating somewhere in the world idea? A little bit of both. I think in the short term, it's starting to make more and more sense for me to head over to Colorado, especially if, especially seeing how settled Luna is in this space. It just also makes more sense financially. And then I think

The long term, the plan is to figure out where we want to be because, you know, you and I have talked about this quite a bit. I don't want to end up two to five to 10 years from now being in Colorado and just being in Colorado because I never like I just that's just how what happened to me. I want to make sure that.

If we stay in Colorado, it's intentional. We've decided that this is home and this is where we want to be. But with that said, we both are open to moving other places. So it's a matter of over the next year to two years, figuring out where that is. You may get a little excited when you shop at Burlington. I'm saving so much!

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Gina, you and I talked after the release of your episodes, and you had told me that listening again to your story had reminded you of some of this fire in wanting to make sure that you're still saying yes to stuff. And I

Were there things that you, because I think with you getting the job and sort of routine and some of this, some of this stuff, was there anything that came out of, came out of that for you? When I had an opportunity to listen to the, the recordings again, it,

It did light a fire under me again. It's easy to get back into, to fall into the same old habits, old routines. I think one of the many benefits I have with Viviana is that they are an amazing accountability buddy, but also very supportive. And we've had lots of talks about ensuring that

I'm not settling, especially when I think about right now the work situation. And it's just it's too similar to what I was doing before to be fulfilling. And so we continuously have talks about what it looks like to step out from that and how this can help support me in that journey as I'm figuring out what that next step is, because this is not it.

Stepping stones. Yeah, I think we've, we're in a place right now. Well, specifically, like, and for me, where life is kicking up again, like I'm back to applying for jobs and doing interviews, and I'm likely going to be getting a job soon.

here shortly. And so getting back into the swing of that and then doing school and then living with somebody and combining households as well. So it's, there's a lot happening, but in all of that, I'm asking Gina to be patient, to allow me to get my footing right, to then pivot and start to pour the focus on her and what she's wanting to do career wise and

once I'm, you know, established and can be like, all right, you can take some time to figure out what you want to do because I do not want to see her settle, um,

We both have spent so much of our lives in our 20s and 30s just going through the motions and surviving and settling. And now we are fully aware of that. And it's just stepping stones to get to that point. So I'm never going to let you settle. I'll also say, I think you make it easier for me to say yes to things more. Like I find that just the person that I am

In this relationship, in my life right now, even outside of this, like, it's just easier for me to say yes to more things. You do it with a face, but you still say yes. That's fair. There is always the face. Even if it's through text message, I can see the face. Yeah. Yes. Fine. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I guess.

That's how she, that's the face I got when I was like, we're going roller skating. Yep. Yeah. And I would love to see her continue to do those things and just step out of that comfort zone and continue to grow. Cause I feel it can be easy for us to just get into our own cook,

cocoon in our own world and just stay there. And I don't think either of us will thrive in that type of environment. So we've had conversation of, we love each other. And as a unit, like we're going to continue to water us, but we want to continue to water ourselves as individuals as well. Yeah. Don't want to get lost in each other.

How, how do you guys navigate that? How do you, how do you navigate the, to me, the want to sort of cocoon and just enjoy all of the good parts, but then also understand that that means not being, not becoming complacent in where you're at. So that 10 years from now, you're not, oh, we're, we're just here. Right.

Like how is do you guys have like a like a code word or how does that work? How do you do this? How do you communicate? I think we're we're just at the beginning of that, you know, through long distance. We are in our own individual spaces while we're putting forth the effort to stay in contact more frequently throughout the days and.

We still were like, okay, cool. I'm going to go catch dinner with so-and-so, or I'm going to go watch a movie or like we, we had our individual things to do. So now it's learning, how do we continue that being under the same roof and not just wanting to be up each other's butts all the time? Cause you're my best friend. So I always want to hang out with you, but I also have other friends and connections and relationships that I want to water as well.

But where it's not, I don't want it to be like we morph into one person type of thing. It's cool. Here's this awesome couple and they are fantastic as individuals, but they come together to make it even better together.

So I feel we're in a learning phase of that. Yeah. Well, and I think it takes being intentional, which the long distance helped with because we had to, because we weren't there just seeing each other and passing every day. We had to be intentional with the time that we put towards each other versus the time we put towards ourselves. And I know for myself, like,

what that sometimes looks like is Viv will have plans and bring them up. And for me, I have to think about it. I have to be mindful. I have to stay in the moment. I can't just assume, Oh, because you're going, I'm automatically invited. No. So I'm, I'm trying to be very careful and very mindful of, you know, is this something that is a you thing? Like the girls trip? Yeah. Like the girls trip. Viv's best friend wants to go to Palm Springs and she,

You know, there's a part of me that's like, yeah, but then I had to take a step back and I was like, yeah, I was like, hold on. Like, I think this is an opportunity for you to figure out a like check in with your best friend. Is this something that you want to like that she wants me there for? Or is this something that she wants to, you know, have her best friend there for? And then just having those conversations and just, you know, and you can't take it personal because it's it's not.

It's not. We just communicate very well. Because she's doing a girl's trip and going to Vegas for Backstreet Boys and was like, do you want to go? And I'm like, I'm not necessarily interested. Blame Patrick. Why was I not invited to that? Okay, now I'm pissed. But okay, it's fine. So how has sharing your story been? Like we texted a little after it was being released, but...

Have you shared the podcast with any of the people in your life? Like intentionally? Yeah. When it comes to sharing the podcast, I've been very, again, I've been intentional about who I shared it with. It's not going to my dad. That's for sure. Viv accidentally let their mom listen into one of the episodes. It was the first one. No, the second. Okay. The second one. The second one, because the first one, I, I would not be able to look at your mother right now.

Which episode had the sex club stuff in it? The details of the sex club was in episode one. Oh, okay. The high level passing, I went to a sex club. Look, either way, my mom, my mom got, she listened to that because she was staying with me for a little bit and she listened to it. And I was like, I have sex. And she's like, I know you're an adult. Yeah.

But my partner has sex in clubs. She was like, what? And I'm like, she was figuring stuff out. Yeah, I have kept it from my family, but I have had close friends that I've actually reached out to to say, hey, you know, I'd really, I'd love for you to hear my story. Just because of how proud I am. I didn't, you know, initially going into this, I was like, oh, sure, I'll do it. You know, it was me saying yes.

And then I was grateful when Viv agreed as well. And now I'm actually really happy that we have like this, have our story documented in this way. Like it's a beautiful story and it just makes me even more like proud listening to it. I'm like, oh, that's us. I get all giddy every time I hear it. Cause yes, I do listen to it occasionally. Like it's not a one-time thing. As you should. And I think...

It's interesting to me that based on your first response, you think I asked you to share your story because I needed content or because I needed like some, it's just a story to tell. When for me, I wanted to share your story because it was so powerful, because it was so impactful in my life. And-

It is so incredible to me how you think I helped you and I think you helped me, which is the best part of friends, right? Like that's the goal is that everybody sort of builds each other up. But the...

The way in which you still kind of downplay how really hard and incredible it is to do what you did. And Viv, same for you, like to really step back and self-reflect and then decide to just go for the things that you want in spite of the things that you've had is really hard. And it

It's like kind of painful sometimes and lonely and to be unconfident in who you are because it's different than who you've been. And both of you did that separately and then managed to like come back together again.

And it's, it's powerful. Best title ever. Did you, has your niece listened, Gina? I don't think she has. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I'd like, I didn't think to share it with her, but she will now.

That's someone who she already knows all the stories. But it's funny because I've shared my podcast with people that I'm really close with. And they're like, I did not know that about you. So, okay, that's your next. That's my next assignment. That's your assignment. I will at least listen in. So, yeah.

When you guys reconnected against Gina's better judgment, you were both at different places with intimacy. Like Gina was full in trying to find...

Different ways to express that. And Viv, you were very much like, no, I'm good. I'm good right here. How has connecting that been for you guys? Yeah. I, you know, reflecting back on that.

Just the interactions and exchanges that her and I had when we first reconnected and when things started to evolve and we're like, okay, well, we're going to see where this is going. And really myself showing up and setting that boundary of, I don't want us to be physical because that's going to blur lines. Chemicals are going to drop. And it's, it takes away from being intentional about the connection because like,

We're going to be old one day, you know, we got to, we got to be able to get along. Like if you remove sex from a relationship, what is the relationship? And that is really telling because if it's just driven by the sex, then that's the main focus and it's not the connection itself. And yeah,

In being intentional and saying, hey, our first meetup in the time that we're going to spend together, we're not going to be physical because we know we can do that from all the time in our 20s that we spent together. It works just fine. And evolving to where we're at now, it's...

The intimacy is great. It adds. It adds to the relationship. It doesn't drive the relationship. It adds to it. I think that's the other thing that's different, at least for me in this relationship versus others, is we regularly have check-ins about everything, but including sex. Like it's nothing's off the table, which I appreciate.

about this relationship and having that safe space. And so I don't, sometimes, you know what, I take it back. Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable, but it's, I know I'm, I can, I know I like, I know Viv is gonna, is gonna, you know, is, is a, is, is someone who's going to keep my heart and my mind in mind when they respond. And so I'm not

As uncomfortable as I am maybe asking, I all are sharing my thoughts. It's never the response that I'm concerned about. It's just that initial, like what I like, the habits that you form and how you communicate and what you communicate and what you should and shouldn't and the shame. But I'm working through that. And yeah, the sex is great. In short, mom's not listening to this one. Yeah.

Viv, you did a lot of work before you and Gina rekindled. How has it shifted as far as more stability in your relationship going into this so intentionally? There's a there's a shift. So like I did the work and the work happens every single day.

And then things get challenged and you have to apply what's been learning. And in our relationship so far, like it's not a walk in the park. We've hit some speed bumps and we've had to work through things. And like what I'm experiencing now is...

being able to apply what I've learned, but also work through some new discomforts that I'm now growing through. And it's having tough conversations of this makes me feel uncomfortable and, but also being respectful and not, you know, demanding anything. But what Gina was speaking to earlier is just feeling safe enough to be able to express self. But slipping into old

pathways of the brain and what it's known that has happened as well, where, you

We both will find ourselves spinning out and thinking of the same thing, but we're not bringing it up to each other. And then finally somebody is like, yo, this is on my mind. And then we're both like, oh, we've been thinking about the same thing. So it's making rules as we come across those things. It's making rules of if we've thought about it three times and we haven't expressed it, we need to bring it up to one another. And that's so helpful because

more than not, we have been thinking the same thing and are able to work through it. Um,

It's just, it's a shift now in, okay, this is making me feel a certain way. Is it me or is it something I need to bring up? And, you know, I still have some very deep old wiring that is still there that's getting worked on. But Gina is very aware of it and we're able to work through those bumps together. I do want to report back. While we have not had a big blow up fight, I did have my first experience of being extremely frustrated.

and annoyed with Gina it happened on our road trip recently I don't I don't understand because I could never be annoyed at or frustrated with my best friend I did it's not possible Viv I clearly you're out of line

You put a morning person and a night person together. Like, this is what happened in short. So we're on the road. We've been driving for 20, 20-ish hours. I had been driving for...

What, like 10, 10, 12-ish hours. It's nighttime. We're on I-70 in, you know, getting towards Glenwood Springs. The snow is coming down. I'm exhausted. My amazing partner's like, all right, I'm going to find a hotel. Finds a hotel. We're getting there. So we get to the hotel, crash out, sleep for...

four-ish hours. She gets up to let Luna out. I get up and I peek outside. I was like, okay, cool. It's clear. I go lay back down because we got a 12 p.m. checkout and we are five hours away. Like, let's see what happens here. She comes back in with Luna from what I remember. Oh, okay. That's what we're going to do. It was, it was,

Hey, so the roads look really clear. Should we probably get on the road right now? Cause it's safe, right? And we should probably just like get started and get going so we can beat the storm. And just, it's six o'clock in the morning. I am on four hours of sleep of driving all day. I feel hung over, but I had no alcohol. I'm just like,

What? The only correction I have to the story is I actually came in and gently caressed and squeezed their arm and said, good morning, baby. And then I went into it. And then I was like, and then I'm awake at that point. So I'm like, all right, well, let's she she's like, well, I'm like,

Fine. And I have an attitude and I'm like, we'll just check. It's all right. And I'm feeling annoyed and frustrated. Like I'm tired and I just want to sleep at least two more hours. So I checked the road conditions and I'm like, I-70 is closed from this mile to this mile. Put the phone away and go back to sleep. And I'll say, you know, in that moment, I was very aware that Viviana was upset and I was okay with it. I was like, if I just saved our lives by beating the storm, then it is worth it. Yeah.

Well, if anyone has a plan, it's Gina. And she took Luna out and she made a plan. Within those like 20 minutes, I was like, okay, we can do this. And I came in and I was like, go team. Didn't read the room. Didn't read the room at all.

I was passed out. I'm like, I can't even drive if I wanted to. It was sweet, though. Like after our nap, because we went back to sleep, Rihanna was like, I'm sorry I was so crabby. And I'm like, I'm sorry I came in hot. Honestly, though, that long of a road trip is it's incredible that that's that's the worst thing. Right. We were solid the rest of the time.

Really good. Yeah. Super. It was really wasn't bad. I'm not into road trips, but I think I could be. Oh, I have a little camper. You guys could use it. I know. We can all go, Britt. Yeah. You guys can send me pictures. After you do five states in 34 hours. Hey, it's Britt. I wanted to take a minute to talk about quints. I've gotten tired of clothes that look cute online, but feel cheap in real life.

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Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Gina, I'm going to ask you first. So you guys obviously have had this incredible over decades story. What have you seen as the biggest growth in FIV? And like, because it isn't just being able to reconnect, but what have you seen? I would say...

Just their ability to work through their emotions. And again, I didn't want to say it, but it comes back to intentionality. In our past, there were so many amazing things about Viviana where we struggled was how we communicated and our lack of ability to be able to understand and communicate our emotions and our needs and et cetera. And now I think...

One of the things that made it so different this time around for me was...

There was no question about whether they cared about me, whether they loved me. Like the first time I said, I love you to Viviana, when we were laying in bed, they're like, I love you too. And I immediately, my response was, oh, I know. Like, I'm telling you so that you know that I love you too. Because I can just like how they show up, the consistency, the care that they give, the communication.

them being able to work on themselves. And it just, it just shows like it's, it feels amazing. I think that so much of the growth that happens, I wish it didn't happen in our forties, but so much of the growth that happens is self-reflection, like understanding that the choices we make and the partners we choose are

That's us. And regardless of why, what happened to us or why we do that, but really digging into who we are as people and why we make these choices. And if I don't like that choice, what do I need to do to make a different choice? And it's hard. It's hard to meet people that are willing to do that self-reflection because everybody wants to blame themselves.

It's easy to be the victim. It's easy to, oh, poor me. Like everything happens to me when you play such a big part in your life. I mean, and I'm guilty. We're all guilty at some point. Totally. And even just acknowledging that we can be the victims, but maybe also...

we can be the ones that save ourselves in the future. Viv, what are the biggest changes that you've seen in Gina? Biggest changes. You know, when reflecting back on our time together in our 20s, Gina, we had a lot of fun. And when that ended and as years continued and I was doing my reflection,

I really admired how Gina just advocated for herself and set up that boundary. I believe I brought this up in our previous conversation where her self-love and worth just shines through. And I know something she's been working on is breaking out of her comfort zone. And what I've seen in the time that we've reconnected in our relationship now is

is she continues to push that. There are some moments where she gets into her comfort zone. It's very easy. It can be so easy for us to just slip into our comfort zone together. Like so easy. What I find with Gina that I like is she's not quick to judge like she used to. It's not a...

And I mean, I felt I was in this as well, where it's like, oh, I wouldn't do that. Why would you do that? That's so different, strange, wrong, where she's more open and accepting and understanding like, cool, that's if that's what they want to do, that's what they want to do. Which I think also helps her grow in being more comfortable and stepping out of her comfort zone and feeling okay with that because there's no judgment behind it. She's like, I'm just going to try it.

So I really, that's the big growth I see, but also feeling her feelings. She's grown so much and just allowing herself to feel and not to logic and intellectualize what she's experiencing. It's a very safe net to use when you put logic and intellectualizing your emotions, but just sitting there and feeling it. And I'm really proud of

of her sitting in that discomfort and just growing from it. I believe that's really helped us navigate through our tough conversations when there are emotions involved. We can say, hey, I need a moment because I'm going to start reacting with my feels or, okay, this is making me feel a certain way. Let me talk about it. That growth has just been an added value to our relationships.

As a whole. I'm really proud of you for that. Thank you. I'm proud when you cry. I've cried more in the past year than I have in the past 10 years. Same, same, same. And it's, I mean, Gina, I just assume that you have still a pro con list for everything, but you finally figured out how to do that Excel sum thing.

And it's like some sadness. Okay. I'm going to cry. And then you just like add it all up. And the sum is, you know, and then you feel the feelings instead of just putting it on paper. Yeah. And it's not always, that's the interesting thing is, you know, the, I've cried more in this past year, but it hasn't all been like sad tears. It's I've cried out of happiness, which I wouldn't have done either. Um,

Feeling your feelings. Yeah, it's it's and it's a work in progress. It's still very hard for me. Well, I think you and I connected a lot on that as well, like being uncomfortable and sad or happy or, you know, it is it's feeling the feelings. I mean, there was one time when I

I texted Gina. I'm like, are you home? I need you to come and literally just hold me because I'm having like an anxiety attack. Like I never would have done that before. I never would have reached out to somebody to comfort me in that moment. And, you know, I mean, you had moved a whole floor away, but you got you got to my place pretty quick.

I did. Anything for you, Britt. I know, but how are we going to do this if you're in Colorado? And I'm in the middle of nowhere. It's fine. You'll get there. It'll take 34 hours. Add a little bit. Add a little bit because she'll be living further away. 35. Now that you guys have been together for a while and you're interacting in each other's lives, how have...

like mutual friends. Has anybody had conversations and comments? Like, did they know you then? I'm trying to, my friends know the story of Gina. They know Gina was the one I messed up and got away. Like, but I wasn't prepared to, to have you and take care of you the way that you need deserved. Right. At that point in time. Um,

There's like old acquaintances within my group of friends, my circle of friends that are familiar with Gina. I remember when we went to a barbecue and you walked in, everyone was like, why do you look so familiar? I know you. So it was really easy to pick up on conversation and that for them as well. But I know, you know, with the move to Colorado, there's going to be more integrating of that.

In hangouts. But again, all my really like diehard close friends don't live in the States. So there's a lot of travel that will happen as well. What about you? It was similar in that almost everyone that all my friends knew of Viviana and knew the story. And I think there was absolutely some surprise when we

connected and the path that we went down. Yes, for many. And then there was Patrick who, you know, knew Viv before and now knows them as well. So everybody's been supportive though. Everybody...

everybody I talk to is like, you seem so much happier. You know, the person that really, really loves this is my mother. From the moment my mom met Gina 20 some years ago, we're 20, we're at 20. Yeah. She's like, that's the one. That's, that's the one.

20 years ago. And of course we know how that played out. And now like my mom is just elated and thrilled and it's been really easy to bring Gina into my little small pocket-sized family. And it feels good. At first it was something I was very anxious about. I didn't want my parents to be close to like my romantic relationships for my own reasons, but that was silly. And like, we're all,

Like that's, they're my parents and they're very accepting and welcoming of Gina. And it feels, it feels really nice. It feels really nice to have that. And this doesn't have to be included. I'm mainly just curious. How does James feel? How does your, how does your ex-husband feel? James, my ex-husband is, he's actually quite supportive when it comes to our relationship. He is supportive.

He's a big cheerleader of us, mostly because of the friendship we've been able to maintain. We still help each other out with the dogs from time to time before we did this road trip. And so, you know, we would regularly just check in and most of my updates, you know, I don't want to talk about work. So here's how Viv and I are doing. And I haven't sugarcoated anything. I haven't felt like I needed to.

And he's just been like super supportive, as I would expect, oddly enough, at this point. Like we've we've been separated for two plus years at this point. So, yeah, he's oddly OK. Do you know if he's listened? I don't know if he's listened. Does he even know?

He knows. I'll run into him. I'll give him the link. We have a calendar that we have to figure out since I let him use my car still. So we have a calendar and he saw it on there. So I told him about it as well. So I'm pretty sure he has at this point. I'd be worried if he hasn't. Gina, getting to be your friend and seeing you be so fearless and

And supporting me and also being fearless, but kind of without that toxic positivity. Like it just was, yeah, go, go try it. I mean, even recently when I was like, hey, I should do a threesome in Amsterdam. And you were like, yes, and started researching it.

Because I know how much you want me to really just go to the other side. There's a lot of potential. Yeah. But then when I got to Amsterdam, I'm like, I just, I don't feel comfortable. Like, I just, I don't feel it. And you were like, yeah, then don't do it. Like, Viv, like you said, like, there's no judgment. And it's just all such authentic support in...

In everything that has happened over the last couple of years since we've known each other, which it's only been a couple of years, but holy fucking shit, like so much has happened. And there has just been this incredible, I think this incredible power in finding someone that is so supportive and caring. And I really appreciate that.

being your friend. And then I am so grateful that you both have shared your story because it really is the only hope that I'm holding on to right now. But not that there's any pressure for you guys to just work forever, but really just all the pressure. Like I, I'm just so grateful that you're both willing to share

share authentically who you are, because I think that's what we're missing in the world. And I appreciate that you guys reconnected and are able to support each other in such amazing ways.

And I personally don't think my friend could be in better hands than you, Viv. I know that, you know, you say that this, you know, as much as I'm thanking you, you're thanking me. Like, still, you came into my life. Oh, now I'm going to get emotional. Look at me feeling my feels. You came into my life at a time where I didn't know I needed someone like you.

Um, and you completely changed how I saw things. The confidence, a lot of the confidence you see in your friend, me, is from the conversations that we had. It's from the support I received from you. Um,

I and here's the thing, move or not, we will always be part of each other's lives. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I will always be here no matter what for you all the time. Point blank, period. So I think we need to figure out a way to start our own summer camp in France somewhere. Yes.

You keep mentioning it. Because I think it's a phenomenal idea. And I'm sick of waiting for one to open up for us to go to. So I think the next step is that you guys...

Just go to France and start this. Can we do this in Mexico? We can. We can do it. Okay. Okay. I don't care where it's at. My only prereq is that Gina's only allowed to wear footie pajamas everywhere. Fair. Fair.

I'm so sad that I'm not going to be able to see that all the time because my favorite thing is watching Gina take the dog out in her footie pajamas. Yeah. No shame. None. As there shouldn't be. Yeah.

You can support the show by joining us on Apple Podcasts or Patreon. Episodes are available early and ad-free. Our executive producer is me, Brittany Yard. Our senior producer and editor is Sydney Gladue. Sound engineering by Sean Simmons.

Graphic design by Najella Shama. Opening theme by Youth Star and Miscellaneous. You probably think this Stories About You is a production of BDE Unlimited Productions. You can follow me for updates at britney.ard on all social media platforms.

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