Slow Burn | Gina’s Story Part 3
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True Story Media. This is my person. This is who I'm supposed to be with, whether it's in this lifetime, a different lifetime. We've always had this weird bond. Like, I call it a bond of weirdness. They don't like the fact that I use weird, but I like weird. I'm weird and I embrace weird. But we just are two quirky people that have always had this super strong connection. I'm Brittany Yard. You probably think this story is about you.

But this story is Gina's. This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures. From Universal Pictures and Blumhouse come a storm of terror from the director of The Shallows, The Woman in the Yard. Don't let in. Where does she come from? What does she want? When will she leave? Today's the day. The Woman in the Yard. Only in theaters March 28th.

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When Gina and Viv first started talking again, it was meant to rekindle their friendship. I was asking a lot of questions. They were very quickly were like, "Gina," like these are, they were checking in with their other friends. They were like, "This is not normal stuff that you ask your friends, right?" Like, "This chick is into me."

But then the whole time we were talking, we were like, "Hey friend, how are you doing today, my friend? I'm having a great day, friend." And we argued to this day about who was like, "We're just gonna be friends." I say it's them, they say it's me. Watching from the sidelines, I saw how quickly their daily check-ins became something more. During this time, Gina was embracing casual dating and trying to figure out what she wanted.

Yet somehow, no matter how many experiences we talked about, our conversations kept circling back to Viv. Around this time, Gina needed a break from her roster. I had deleted the dating apps and we decided to go on a European adventure. But there was still one constant. Viv. Checking in across time zones, never missing a day.

They were tracking my flights. They were setting their alarm to wake up to be able to wish me a safe, safe travels because we're in Europe. They were like, be present. Enjoy yourself. I'm excited for any pictures you send me at the end of day. We'd have a fun day out. I'd get back and I would download a whole bunch of pictures and send them. It was the first time where I felt like I had just over the months, not just the Euro trip, but I had like a cheerleader. I had someone who wanted to take care of me, wanted to support me, had my back.

I had a break from the dudes that I was dating and I didn't care. I realized how little any of that mattered because while I had these guys that I was occasionally hooking up with, I was talking to this person every day and that was taking up so much of me. And it got to the point where on that trip, I reached out to all the guys I was dating and I was like, "Hey, so this has been fun. We need to pause."

I was like, we need to hold because I need to figure out what's going on with this other person before we continue. My heart and my everything is into this differently. And I want to know what that is. 20 years ago, they started with intense physical chemistry and crashed when the emotional foundation wasn't there. This time around, they were building everything the right way. Emotional intimacy and friendship first.

When I said, hey, I think we should meet up, they were like, okay, within three months. Now, at that point, we'd already been talking three months straight every single day. I was very hesitant and I had like slow and steady is my name of the game. It doesn't mean I wasn't going to get there, but like for my safety and my comfort, I wanted to go very slow. But the moment where I told Gina, hey, I'm going to get out to you at the end of June. And she said, well, I want to see you sooner.

I need to know what this is. I'm pausing everything else because I feel like this is different and I need to know. I knew

She was legit. Like, she really was genuine about her interest in me and us and where this could potentially go in a reconnection. And against my better judgment, I'm just kidding. I was like, cool. Yeah, come on out. And so a few days before my birthday, I flew out to Colorado. When she told me she was flying to Colorado to visit Viv, I was very nervous.

But this wasn't the same Gina who fled the state 20 years ago. And from everything she told me about their conversations, this wasn't the same Viv either. They were very adamant about our first reconnect was not allowed to be sexual. Because at least from when we were younger, we knew we had sexual chemistry. And so for them, it was very important to not get wrapped up in the false sense of like, oh, I'm connected.

I'm freaking out this whole time about this. I'm talking to my therapist. I'm like, oh my gosh, what is going on? Because I'm going from my solitude, my life, the peace that I've built for myself after I've had all this chaos and just craziness and unstable. I've healed my nervous system, essentially. And I'm like, someone's going to come into my peace. Someone's going to step into that.

What was the day like for you before she first came? Like, were you freaking out?

There were moments in the evening, like I got everything ready. I was like, cool, we have the space ready. My home's like prepped, fridge is full, got her favorite snacks. And I had this moment of like, oh shit, Gina's actually going to be here tomorrow. Like in my space, in my home, physically in front of me, freaked out. Sure shit freaked out, which I think is normal. Like if I wasn't freaking out, then what?

let's raise some concern, freaking out. And then I laughed about it.

This was it. Like, this is this is my future. This is going to change the path and trajectory of my romantic life and like a life that I'm clearly building with somebody else and what that looks like. Mind you, someone who's never lived with anybody they've been in a relationship with, someone who's lived by themselves all of their adult life. It's scary. Everyone was nervous.

But they were coming into this with new tools. That first week of us hanging out was cute. It was really cute because we're like trying to figure out like what's going on? Like where's the boundary here? It was very sweet. The whole day we were both a little awkward because we hadn't seen each other in years. And I was like, OK, I'm going to go to bed now. And we had talked about sharing the bed, but they were like, there's no funny business. I was like, OK, fine.

I was like, but we hadn't done anything at that point. Like we hadn't even kissed. I was like, am I still, am I still coming to your, am I still going to go to your room? Am I? And they were like, yes, Gina. Yes. You're we're, we're sleeping in the same bed. We can share a bed. We're adults. But, uh, I'll tell you what, we held hands that night. And every time we're together, we hold hands when we go to sleep every single time now.

And it progressed. It was like three, four days together. By the last night, we had our first kiss and we fooled around a bit. We were very specific on what constituted sex so that we wouldn't cross those boundaries. I came back and I was like, "This is the person I want to be with." And they're like, "I want to ask you to be my girlfriend because I don't want this to be, 'Oh, we just like each other so we're together.'" Like, I want to be very intentional.

And so they were like, I want to wait until I see you next. I'm going to ask you to be my girlfriend. And I was like, okay, I'm going to say yes. They ended up doing it on July 1st because my favorite number is eight. And they were like, seven, one. We both have done a lot of change and have had a lot of growth over the years. I mean, we dated at 23, 24. I'm now 42. So it's been a long time. But one of the things that just...

continues to stand out is how intentional they are with me and with our relationship now. It's not, oh, we like each other. Let's hang out right away. Let's, you know, let's see where this goes. It's okay. That's good. I like you too. Let's continue to build on this connection. Let's continue to like feed this flower versus like drown it.

Yeah, we're just very gentle with each other. Gina is a, as much as I'm going to say this, as much as she puts herself to be a stonewalled, non-emotional person,

business only type of person. She is very mushy and very soft and very sensitive. And I see that in her every single day. And like, I feel it in me. Like my job is to water that and to protect it as well. Like she's a little sensitive being. It's the toughest cookies that are the softest ones, right? By the time I said my first, I love you to them, they were like, I love you too. They immediately said it back. And I was like, oh, I know. And they were like, what are

And I was like, I know by how you show up, the consistency in how you treat me and how you are with me and how, like, I feel your love every day. I didn't need you to tell me. I needed to tell you because in case you didn't know, since I'm not as soft at times, I'm like, I needed to tell you. I knew you loved me. We had all seen how Gina had changed over the last couple of years. Once controlled and serious, she was a little bit more of a

She had rediscovered a playful side that she had kept hidden for years. Even my niece now, the same niece who was like, "I thought your personality was just grumpy." I thought, "Adult Gina is awfully annoyed with life." And now, like, she's had the opportunity to see me and my partner together.

And she even came to a trip to Colorado. And after like the first morning, we went to run a few errands. And I'm telling her about how we were watching Sesame Street.

Viv goes into the shop real quick and we're sitting in the car. My niece is like, I'm so confused. Who are you? You don't watch Sesame Street. You're an adult. You don't do you do adult things. You don't do kiddie lighthearted things. She was like, I've never seen you this happy. I've never heard you laugh this much. She's beyond happy for me.

Viv allows me to be me in all aspects of me and then providing that space for me to be me, regardless of how I show up, good days, bad days, happy days, sad days, ugly days, beautiful days. It helps me flourish as the person that I want to be versus the person that I think I've felt like I've been expected to be.

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Watching their relationship unfold was like seeing a masterclass in everything I wish I knew about love, but I will not be calling my ex. Where once there had been drama and chaos, now they were having honest conversations about triggers and fears. Before, there were insecurities. Now, just intentional communication. Even their conflicts were different.

Instead of tears, it was just two people actually hearing each other. There's no screaming, there's no fighting, but we've had conflict. We've had things that have been triggers for each of us that we've had to bring up and work through together. It's the first time that I've been in a relationship where the actions match the words. We are on the same team. When we have conflict, it's not a "you did this."

We focus on ourselves, how we're feeling, and we both try so hard to work through it together. And so it's a conversation.

Every single conflict that Viv and I have had, we walk away and we feel better. That's another first for me in a relationship. Don't walk away feeling like, oh, this is going to piss me off in a few hours when I like rethink everything that happened. We somehow walk away loving each other more because we're like, wow, we just did that. Like, look at us adulting. It requires you to not put yourself first, not want to...

not focus on responding and focus on listening and understanding. It's a lot of stuff that I thought I might be good at and I'm realizing how much work I still need to do. But I'm happy to do the work with Viv. It's easy doing the work with Viv.

I get to practice everything that I've been learning, everything that I've been wanting to apply in connection from a romantic perspective. I'm here and I'm like doing the schoolwork for it. Like, oh, great. This is nice. And it's been very peaceful for myself. It's been

because it's not the chaos in which I'm used to. And so it's that discomfort in other realms and there's no other person I'd rather be doing it with than Gina. It's probably been the slowest moving relationship I've been in as an adult adult, but it's also oddly refreshing, especially because we're long distance. It forces you to really think through and the steps that you would take if someone was like,

with you. Like if Viv was here, I always joke and tell them, I'm like, oh, we would have been moved in together by now. We would be living together. We'd like have matching tracksuits. Like that's how we would be if we were living in the same space or staying in the same area. For them, they're like, no, we wouldn't. I don't want that. I want to make sure that every step that's taken in this relationship is one that's meant to be taken because it's been something that we've both thought through and it makes sense for us in that moment.

Rebuilding a relationship is challenging, especially when you've lived separate lives a thousand miles apart. Every decision becomes a hard conversation if it's not done with thought and care. Somehow watching them navigate it, I started to understand why all their past relationships had to fail. They needed to become these versions of themselves.

I'm at where I'm at today because of the investment in choosing myself. It absolutely starts here first. If this isn't squared up, doesn't mean it has to be perfect. But if there's no alignment here, everything is going to show up chaotically and be right in your face of what you need to fix. It's been very uncomfortable, the shift to being intentional.

because it's just not what I'm used to. I'm like, I'm an adult. You're an adult. We know we want this. Let's go for it. Let's make it happen. How do we get together? How do we get to the same location? How do we coexist, cohabitate? And they very quickly were like, that is the end goal. That's where I absolutely want to be. I don't want to be there now. I want to take the time to...

Learn you, you learn me. Like we actually continue to build this relationship. Like we are on a journey together. This is not a race. Everything Gina discovered gave her the confidence to ask for what she wanted and to set clear boundaries in her relationship with Viv. Transforming her from someone who passively accepted whatever was offered to

into a woman who could openly express her desires and needs without fear or shame. Gina said that I was meant to come into her life so I could help her rediscover herself. But what ended up happening is that I had a front row seat to watch Gina craft the life that she wanted and end up in the relationship we all want.

It gave me the strength and the courage to stay as authentic as I can to myself, knowing that anything less than that isn't worth it. For so many years, I've had to be the adult when I was the kid. I had to be the adult when I was the teenager. I was never good at it, but I felt like I needed to be it. My mom used to joke with me and be like, you're such a grandma. Like, I used to be wild at your age. What are you? Like, I was always the calm, you know, sensical one.

And Viv brings out a side of me that is just like more lighthearted, more fun, more willing to laugh at themselves. And so one of their their asks was, hey, I'm coming out to Seattle around Halloween. Let's let's dress up as ghosts and take pictures. And I was like, that sounds ridiculous. Yeah.

Um, yes, sure. If this brings you joy, let's do it. It's not gonna cause me any pain, like, whatever. And it turned out to be so fun.

Like it was so windy. It was so cold. It was so hard to get one freaking picture. And then on top of that, we're in these ghosts. We're in these sheets. Like mind you, it was sheets with sunglasses. Can't see anything. And then you start hearing people. You start hearing neighbors come upstairs to enjoy the sunset. And then there's us.

Trying to take pictures, the camera's falling, we're laughing our asses off. You know, it's one of those experiences, it's one of those small experiences that I'll always remember the time that we're on the roof, being silly, taking pictures in the freezing cold. Finding joy as my neighbors were like, "What in the heck is going on here?" They push me out of my comfort zone. They bring out the kid in me.

The happy ending isn't that everything is perfect. It's that they're both willing to show up. It's scary to think, like, I'm forging my life with somebody else now. But I welcome that discomfort because there's growth in it. The self-sabotage is just a false sense of control. And how many times I've had to battle that within myself, too. But it's like, I'm here for it. I deserve it, damn it. Like, that's where I'm at. Like, her and I both deserve this.

Sometimes, when we've finally grown into the person we are meant to be, we get a second chance to be with the person we're meant to be with. I'm looking forward to that first blowout fight, though. Like, I want that experience so we know how we resolve that. We haven't hit that just yet. I know we're going to be okay working through that. Well, you guys keep showing up for each other with kindness, and it might take a while to get to that. Yeah. Yeah.

This experience has not been comfortable, but it's been very safe with Gina. I am speechless. Like, it's just a lot of emotion that I feel in my heart for the opportunity to reconnect with her, to build the relationship that we're building, to help each other grow, because we do that with each other, to have uncomfortable conversations in kind ways.

It's something that I've never experienced before. And I know she tells me, she's like, I've never been in a relationship this healthy. And there's no other person I'd rather be doing it with than Gina. I mean, I would like to save 10 years. Like if we can reconnect in our 30s, that'd be great. But look, we're 40, we're thriving. It's fantastic. If I had to go through that fiery path over and over and over again, and I knew the end result would be Gina, I'd do it.

Thank you so much for listening to season two. I hope that it was as powerful to you as it was for me. There will be bonus content and updates. Stay tuned for more. You can support the show by joining us on Apple Podcasts or Patreon. Episodes are available early and ad free.

Our executive producer is me, Brittany Yard. Our senior producer and editor is Sydney Gladue. Story consulting by Mariah Gossett. Sound engineering by Sean Simmons. Graphic design by Najella Shama. Opening theme by Youth Star and Miscellaneous. You probably think this Stories About You is a production of BDE Unlimited Productions.

You can follow me for updates at britney.ard on all social media platforms. If you like what we're doing, don't forget to hit that follow button wherever you're listening to this podcast. Give us a rate and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. I love responding to comments on Spotify. Trolling the trolls is my new favorite pastime.