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cover of episode vol02. 在无数次沟通却难以触达之后 & 让爱神再次降临 | 和小马聊

vol02. 在无数次沟通却难以触达之后 & 让爱神再次降临 | 和小马聊

2025/1/11
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高耳机

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小马
高尔基
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小马: 我经历了产后抑郁,情绪得不到重视,表达无效,导致我选择不再表达。身体、心理和环境的巨大变化,以及无人感同身受的孤独感,让我倍感煎熬。虽然我最终找到了解决方法,并逐渐好转,但这段经历让我深刻体会到表达的无力感和独自消化痛苦的艰难。 我产后生活中的诸多细节累积,导致我产生持久的孤独感和失落感,难以表达和解决。这些细微的改变,如同压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草,让我崩溃。我尝试向丈夫表达,但他无法理解,这让我更加无力。我开始寻求自己的解决方案,并逐渐意识到自我成长的重要性。 我意识到,在亲密关系中,即使是细微的改变,也会累积成巨大的压力。我需要更多的时间和空间来处理这些情绪,也需要丈夫更多的陪伴和理解。虽然我逐渐好转,但我仍然需要时间来疗愈内心的创伤。 高尔基: 通过和小马的对话,我更加深刻地理解了产后抑郁的痛苦和挑战。小马的经历让我意识到,在亲密关系中,有效的沟通和相互理解至关重要。我们应该更加关注彼此的情绪和感受,并给予对方足够的耐心和支持。 同时,我也意识到,每个人都需要时间和空间来处理自己的情绪,我们不能强求对方立刻理解和解决我们的问题。我们需要学会接纳彼此的变化,并共同成长。小马的经历也让我对亲密关系有了新的认识,它不仅仅是浪漫和激情,更是相互扶持和共同面对挑战的过程。 通过这次对话,我更加清晰地认识到时间、耐心和确定性在人生中的重要性,以及坦诚沟通的价值。我们应该学会坦诚地表达自己的感受,并积极寻求帮助和支持。只有这样,我们才能更好地处理生活中的挑战,并建立更加健康和稳固的亲密关系。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

What was the main theme of the conversation between Gao Erji and Xiao Ma?

The main theme of the conversation was Xiao Ma's journey through postpartum depression and her reflections on personal growth, emotional struggles, and the changes in her relationships, particularly with her husband, after having a child. The discussion also touched on the importance of self-care, emotional expression, and the challenges of adapting to new roles and environments.

Why did Xiao Ma feel a sense of loneliness and isolation after having a child?

Xiao Ma felt a sense of loneliness and isolation due to several factors: the physical and psychological changes she experienced postpartum, the shift from a couple's dynamic to a family dynamic with the inclusion of her in-laws, and the lack of emotional support and understanding from her husband. She also mentioned the loss of personal freedom and the overwhelming responsibilities of motherhood, which contributed to her feelings of being misunderstood and unsupported.

How did Xiao Ma describe the changes in her relationship with her husband after having a child?

Xiao Ma described a noticeable shift in her relationship with her husband, where small but significant gestures of care and attention, such as him always holding her hand or accompanying her for small errands, had diminished. She felt a sense of loss and disconnection, as her husband's focus shifted more towards their child, leaving her feeling neglected and emotionally distant.

What strategies did Xiao Ma use to cope with her postpartum depression?

Xiao Ma coped with her postpartum depression by seeking positive feedback and emotional support from friends, engaging in physical activities like yoga and Pilates to improve her physical and mental health, and focusing on self-care and personal growth. She also emphasized the importance of expressing her feelings and needs, and setting personal goals to regain a sense of control and purpose in her life.

What realization did Xiao Ma come to about her emotional needs and relationships?

Xiao Ma realized that her emotional needs and the dynamics of her relationships had changed. She acknowledged that her relationship with her husband had become less intense and that she needed to focus more on her own well-being and independence. She emphasized the importance of self-love and self-care, and the need to express her feelings and desires more openly to achieve a healthier emotional state.

How did Gao Erji reflect on the importance of emotional expression and communication in relationships?

Gao Erji reflected on the importance of emotional expression and communication by highlighting how seemingly trivial conversations and shared moments can deepen connections and provide comfort. He compared these interactions to grooming behaviors in animals, which help build alliances and reduce stress. He also noted the challenges many couples face in trying to communicate effectively and the need to break down stereotypes to truly understand and connect with each other.

Chapters
本期节目记录了我和一位朋友小马在 2024 年的一次长谈。小马分享了她经历产后抑郁的感受,以及在沟通中遇到的困境。她描述了这种无力感,以及如何寻求解决方法。
  • 产后抑郁的感受和心路历程
  • 沟通中的无力感和寻求正面反馈的渴望
  • 自我疗愈和寻求解决方案的过程

Shownotes Transcript

发生在无数次沟通都难以触达之后。

🕙

00:09  Intro

PART 01 

02:18 「处境」

08:27  凝视深渊

17:27  真正的关于「自己」 

PART 02

23:20  时间 - 耐心 - 确定性

24:58 情绪和感受,作为困顿时刻的解题思路和答案。

27:40  彼此间无聊的废话为什么重要?—— 爱欲的延伸。

28:55  解除「刻板印象」才能真正的触达。  

30:00  情感是流动的、变化和成长的,接受这一点,是一种松绑。

31:17  终将:爱神再次降临。(“只是爱就完全可以”) 

31:33  Outro 

🎵

电影《Hors-saison(法国 / 2023)》插曲 

《只是爱就完全可以》- 文兆杰 - 专辑:《爱神》/ 2022

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