Going Back to School For Nursing w/ ER Nurse - Madalyn
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Hey guys, welcome back to Friends Anonymous. My name's Lindsay and who do I have with me? My name is Madeline from South Florida. Amazing. You want to tell them a little bit about your background, your nursing career? Absolutely. So before nursing, I actually was a manager at the movie theater. I actually didn't even tell you this. I have a degree in business. I managed movie theaters from 2009 to 2016. I

I decided that I was tired of being yelled at for movies not starting on time, different mechanical issues. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. So in 2016, I went back to school for nursing. I got my associate's degree. I got my bachelor's degree from Palm Beach State College. And then I decided to get my master's degree from Nova Southeastern, and I'm working on my doctorate currently.

And I've only been a career ER nurse. I started in ER as a new grad and I've never left. And until I'm done, I will not leave. That's awesome. Thank you. Did the yelling translate to nursing? It's very similar. So the customer service from the movie theater really has helped me tremendously in nursing because medical is a career. It's a business. I understand that. I understand that they want to make money.

Same with the movie theater. So I understand how to deal with crazy angry people. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, um, I feel like anyone in the serving industry, wait staff, and really anyone in any form of customer service can understand like being yelled at. It's my pleasure. It's my pleasure. Exactly. What else can I get for you? A warm blanket, water, that Turkey sandwich you've been asking for. Yeah, absolutely. So beyond, um,

you're not just a neonurse either, not just, but you know what I mean? You're also a nursing instructor. I am. I actually worked for Palm Beach State College. I decided about halfway through my master's program, I was having a little bit of a hard time. The

Environment that I was in we go through seasonal rotations and we lost like a bunch of our good seasonal people and it kind of got to me. We lost our teamwork. Everyone was kind of getting upset with each other. We were so burnt out. We were understaffed again. It was really tiresome. So I said, you know what, I need to do something to bring happiness back to my life. So I became a clinical instructor.

With that, I can teach students. A lot of our ideal situations don't occur in nursing school. We had to go to a nursing home first semester, second semester on a med-surg floor, so it's

It's not all rainbows and sunshine, but I can teach the students how to be good humans, how to be good nurses, and how to care. That's awesome. So that has brought happiness back to my life. Yeah, because you're dealing with the baby nurses, the people who, like you said, really don't... I feel like when I was in nursing school, my instructors, for the most part...

didn't prepare me that there was going to be a real world. Yeah. I thought that was the real world. That's a big part of it. I will always tell them, yes, this is what the school wants. Yes, this is how you do it the school way. However, the real world, and I'll use those terms in the real world, this is how we actually do it. So if you want to know what it's like, if you want to experience it, I will show you it, tell you it. Just know for your tests, for your skills checkoff, you got to do what they want. But otherwise, I'm here for you. Yeah. Yeah.

What, um, what really like inspires you with new students or with nursing students? Um, they look at everything with such wide eyes. They're so happy. They're like, oh yes, the simplest task, like, um,

putting in a Foley catheter, irrigating a Foley catheter. They're like, oh my gosh, this is so exciting. Like, meanwhile, I've done thousands at this point. I see penises every day, not for pleasure. And so things like that, that they're so happy about and they, you know, you walk them through step by step and they're starting to put the pieces together now. They're in semester two, the group I'm with. So they're like, all right, well, we do this because of this. We do this because of this.

they take this medicine because of this disease process. So they're starting to put it together. And that's where I'm like, the light bulb is clicking. Yeah. Yeah. So you kind of get to see like, you know, the joy that they have still. And nurses can still have it throughout their career, just sometimes. Absolutely. Unfortunately, we do see a lot of the lights dimming as well. Working in ER, it's a hard environment. Nurses, there's many studies really about after five years, the burnout's huge. They leave

I can't tell you how many people started in my new grad program within one year. They were gone, done. Five-year mark, another huge chunk left. Even now, I've got some of my favorite co-workers leaving. So with that...

It is hard. It is hard to keep the joy alive. But if you find happiness in what you do every day, I have such a fun time with my patients. I really do. And like the ones that are 90 to 100, you know, the really grumpy ones, the ones that are a challenge are the ones that I love the most. Yeah. It's like cracking a mystery. Yeah. I think something that kind of clicked for me because I feel like you're

or three was when I was like, is this burnout already? Surely not. And you know, I'd talk to a more experienced nurse and I'd say that she's like, you're too young to have burnout. Like, but that's not true. I don't know. Cause my second year I was, it was 2020. So I was like, I don't know. It kind of feels like, I think this is what you guys are talking about. Yeah. But something that clicked for me was,

Learning to not take work home, which is one of the hardest things to do. But it's so necessary. Leaving work at work, it's not your responsibility. The patient being there, it wasn't your fault.

if you could not save a patient, that's not your fault. You know, there's so many things that it's, it feels like it's on your shoulders, but it's really not. No. And that's, um, one of my coworkers that went back to nursing school and she became a nurse. I was helping train her at the hospital as well. And you see people in pain all the time. You see people that are at the end of their life all the time, especially in the ER. And one day she looked at me and she said, how does it not get to you? And I,

It didn't really dawn on me at that point. I was like, well, I can put it simply for you. Their pain is not my pain, but what can I do for them? I can get them out of pain. I can get them comfortable. I can make this the best experience for it being an ER hospital experience.

But you can't take it home. Again, it's not my pain. So I will do everything I can for them. And she came back after she started. And she told me that that was the best advice she had ever gotten. She works in the ICU now. So you can imagine. She's on my team. Yeah. You can imagine, though, what she experiences. A lot of people, DNRs at the end of their life. But same thing. Make them comfortable. Make them feel close to their family before they leave this earth. And that is...

is a great thing to be able to do. Absolutely. I think giving your patients dignity and their last moments of life is like the most important thing. And dignity looks different for a lot of people, but asking and if they can respond or their family, their loved ones respond, giving them dignity with their last moments is,

my favorite thing about being in the ICU. I was going to say that must be why you like the ICU. It is. I like the crazy. I like that. Do 12 things at the same time. Um, you've got a laundry list going in your head and you're like, all right, which one first? 10 minutes later, you're like, Oh yeah, that room to ask me for a blanket. Um,

Let me circle back to them. But yeah, no, it's a great environment. I've been saying for like a year, I think I want to trial ER because I do like, I miss adrenaline sometimes. And don't get me wrong. I see nurses get mad at me when I'm like, well, I miss adrenaline. We have adrenaline too.

But it comes in waves. And in the ER, I'm like, there's just always something. You don't know what they're going to come in with. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. You've seen some weird things in there, you know? Exactly. So something we wanted to talk about on this episode was...

kind of navigating working with that one person. Yes. And do you want to explain like what that one person is? So I think we all know what that one person is. You know, it's, it's the one I don't, I have never, never checked my schedule before going to work. Cause what's the point of knowing who you're working with and knowing that that's not the person that you want to work with.

So, either way, I'm going to show up to work. So, I stopped looking when I became a new grad. I was like, you know what? It is what it is. I'm going to make the best out of my day. There's always that one person at work that you're like, could you be happier? Could you be nicer? Could you care a little more? Could you treat your coworkers with kindness?

that one co-worker. And it's in every field that you're in, no matter where. You know, we had it at the movie theaters. I've had it in restaurants. Yeah. I got it everywhere. But in nursing, it just bothers me more because...

You come in, you do everything that you can for a patient. One person comes in, they ruin the entire experience. Now that patient hates you, hates the hospital, hates this experience. It's all garbage because that one person. And it's so much harder to fix. Yeah, it is. The environment after that. It's the same as the first impression. You get a first impression in what, 10 seconds? So I can give you a great one from the start. The next person comes in and whoop, there that goes. Yeah. And then you have to rebuild, um,

nothing worse than having to apologize for your co-workers yeah yeah and I and I've had to do that in many aspects of my life um because I'm like it doesn't represent this facility it doesn't represent me it doesn't represent what I've done for you this whole time and and it's not fair to you you didn't ask to come to the hospital you didn't ask to be sick you didn't ask to be here so again I

we need to give you the best experience yet. It's not a carnival. It's not something fun and enjoying, but I need to give you the best experience while you're here with me. Absolutely. Something I tell new grads too is that person is...

typically miserable. I hate saying that about someone, but it's true. The person who makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells at work, they're miserable people. They're not happy with their own life. It's not you. It's usually never you. Yeah, it's really not. And I think something else that clicked for me as a new grad was

when I learned not to take that personally, when that person, I felt like they were always mean to me. No, they're just mean in general. Yep. You know, it's not, I didn't do anything. So I actually just don't care anymore if they want to act that way. It's unfortunate, but you have to let them, let them be like, you know what? Go do your thing. Don't let it

don't let it affect how you start acting actually you just you triggered Mel Robbins book Let Them so I did the I read the well I didn't read it they read it to me the podcast and the audio book of it and I I love that

let them, let them do what they want to do and let me do what I want to do. So again, you can have somebody that is going to be miserable and then all of a sudden they yell at you and then your day's ruined. You could go pout about it. Then you're angry with your patients and it kind of snowballs or you say, let

them be miserable. I know they're miserable. I don't care. And I'm going to keep doing exactly what I was doing before. You know, I'm going to smile. I'm going to go introduce myself to my patient. I'm going to get them that warm blanket. I'm going to do everything I can to make them happy. Absolutely. Let them. Yeah. That's a good point. I didn't connect that. I love Mel Robbins too. And that specific book that she's come out with.

I'm going to pull up a Reddit story. We're going to read a couple of Reddit stories together and then just kind of discuss them because I think that they're really relevant, especially for new grads. But I think most nurses can think about somebody. You'll think of someone right at the top of your head, most likely. This is coming from r slash nursing. It says new grad nurse who feels unsupported and bullied by coworkers.

I'm a new grad nurse who feels utterly unsupported in my first RN job. My attitude has been one of the most optimistic and eager eagerness to learn. Yes. I may ask a lot of questions, but it's because I, sorry. Yes. I may ask a lot of questions, but it's because if I don't know how to do something or, and I'm sure I rather ask than do something wrong. Absolutely. But I've noticed that when I ask a question, I met with judgment and an over overall sense of being a nuisance. Okay.

I just am unsure why I'm so disliked on my unit. I secretly cried during my shift last night when I was on break because I was so done from the bullying. Imagine passing your coworker at the nurse's station and you're met with secret glances made at each other, conversations going quiet, and just a feeling like energy changed because you're there. It sucks. I'm sick of wanting to learn but being judged for asking questions. I love this job and I love the patients, but damn, I should not have...

over feeling bullied, excluded, isolated by my coworkers. I literally haven't done anything wrong. I'm simply trying to gain skills and learn. That's sad to me. That's heartbreaking. It is. There's so many levels to that too because it's like,

Is it so already ingrained, the people talking about her, the people not wanting to help? Is it already up to the charge nurses? Is it already, you know, like the unit itself? Is it that she just needs to find a new unit? Unfortunately, that's kind of what that story is sounding like. Like she might have had this experience too many times. But that's one of the things that I always tell the nursing students is there's always someone willing to help. And when there's not, that's awful. That's...

You need to do the best for the patient. And if you don't know, or even like when I first started, I had to put in a chest tube. And sure, I put a chest tube in that mannequin like a boss. But I've never done it on a real person. So, you know, I grabbed one of my coworkers, who's now my best friend, Nadia. And I said, hey, I need to put in a chest tube.

And she kind of, in that moment, she was like, why do you need me? Like, I know you know. And I'm like, I just need you. Okay. I just need you. And so she came over. No questions asked at that point. Helped me put in the chest tube, set it up. Afterwards, I told her, I was like, I never did it on a real person. Like, I just needed you to be there. Same thing. When I put in NG tubes now, it's a buddy system. You're coming with me. Because...

It's just one of those things. I don't like it. It's not pleasant. It's not pleasant for me. It's not pleasant for the patient. You just need to stand there and be my emotional support coworker. And if you don't have that, I can't imagine what a horrible work environment that would be. Yeah. And you said it earlier. If you don't have that at all, every shift, it's time to find a new unit. Unfortunately, it's the culture of the unit. And it's okay to leave. And is it, do you, you know...

trump the charge nurses and try to talk to your unit manager? Or is that going to make it worse? Are there some manager going to now go to the charge nurses, and then they're going to go to the staff and it's going to snowball. I think at that point, you need to cut your loss and either see where there's other opportunities in that hospital, because I'm not saying it's a bad hospital system. Sure. Or, yeah, just start exploring because

unfortunately sometimes if it's that bad, you just got to go. And sometimes leaving is like a blessing in disguise. At first it feels really like, Oh, but I wanted to be here, dah, dah, dah. But then you leave and you actually find a, um,

non-toxic, I can't think of a word, a non-toxic environment, you're like, oh, I didn't know it could be so cool. So laid back. They always tell you the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Well, most of the time it is. Actually, it is. And it's what you make it. So if you go and you apply at other places and you tell them these stories, like,

I've got these awful coworkers or whatever, don't call them awful. Say that you are in an environment where you don't feel supported, you don't feel like you can be helped to safely help your patients, use those keywords, safety, then they're gonna be like, all right, well, I'm sorry you had that experience. This facility is not the same, this unit's not the same. We're gonna set you up for success here and you might find happiness. - Yeah, that's great advice.

The top comment on this post says, new grads should never be made to feel bad for asking a question. Asking questions when you're unsure saves lives and prevents patient harm. I'm an experienced nurse and I still ask questions. Most successful nurses are overachievers and do everything

try very hard to give the best care they can. You may benefit from looking at a transfer to another unit or environment where you will have more support. Yeah. Which is exactly what we said. Yeah. Just unfortunately, it sounds like it's a mean girl unit. Yep. And it happens. It does. So just move on. And also, one thing on that is...

No one should feel bad for asking questions, even as an experienced nurse. Absolutely. Being a travel nurse showed me just how different hospitals do things. Just how different even we call certain things. And I'll come in and ask for a core track. And they're like, what's a core track? You want a duo tube? I'm like, what's a duo tube? Oh, it's the same thing? That's so crazy. Like what we call things different places, you know, it's okay to ask questions. And if someone makes you feel stupid, it's really on them. Yeah. They're...

Well, it's pretty pathetic. If that's what's gonna upset them to that point, then they're not there for good reasons. They're not there for the, you know, protection and the best benefit of the patient, because if they were, they would want to support you. And you know, they could be that mean girl, but still be like, you know what, here, let me let me go show you. Yeah, let me know. Exactly. Does not cost anything to be a good human. And that's what more people need to be. Yeah. Next story.

Um, it's also an, I think all of these are on r slash nursing. It's titled dealing with a very difficult coworker need advice. Hi friends. I spend most of my shifts with a nurse who has the following traits. Hmm.

I have not read this, by the way, so we're about to read it together. I already know. That's how it's starting. They're going to be all the good traits. Yeah. Older and uses seniority as a weapon for everything. Will not allow anyone else to pick up shifts that she wants. Seniority rules. Despite making three times as much pay hourly as a weekend warrior. Will not sit down. Buzzes around all shifts and complains.

that she still needs to chart in the am this must be night shift very hard on patients this is on a psych inpatient unit and this nurse is extremely confrontational and judgmental causes a lot of behavioral outbursts with patients starts every shift complaining about staffing every single shift complains that other others are lazy however everyone else's work is done and we don't go around looking for extra things to do

Many times she has dragged the cleaning cart in and mopped the entire unit. That would just annoy me. That's just weird. This can also cause trouble with the unionized housekeepers. Won't let anyone else be in charge. We need to learn this as part of our job. We'll say that she didn't get a lunch, but everyone else did because we manage our time. Yada, yada, yada.

Everything is said in a judgmental tone, threatens to go to the manager frequently and actually does. Nothing ever happens. Constantly asking for reassurance, especially after talking bad about others. Quote, well, she does A and B and never gets in trouble. I'm going to turn her in. Am I wrong? Stuff like that. Has recently been asking scary questions. Most recently asked if someone needs regular insulin or Lantus for an

for a blood sugar that has a sliding scale ordered. Very uneducated on meds. This is a veteran nurse. The next piece says, this lady is causing so much uproar among staff, both shifts. It is becoming unbearable to work with her. Many of us have spoken to her and have shown caring and compassion, care and compassion, but she does not make an effort to be kinder and manage her time better. Will not take any advice on how to chart more efficiently. We use Epic and there are tons of time-saving tricks, etc.,

And Epic is so easy. Oh my, Epic's the best. Yeah, it really is. Anyone who's like a Cerner, which Cerner's not that bad either, but once you really use Epic, you're like, oh, this is why everyone loves it. It's so much easier. Right. So one thing I will say is just because it's an older nurse doesn't mean that they have these qualities, but I can picture a nurse that she's speaking of. Yeah. Yeah. I am sure we all could. Yeah. Yeah.

It says, I've been using the gray rock method as much as I can. I can't take it anymore. Every shift is just so bad. And I just went through a big tragedy, newly widowed and can't deal with this. I actually don't know what the gray rock method is. I don't either. I'm going to look it up.

But what advice would you give if someone has a coworker like this? Because honestly, we probably all do. So that's really hard because part of me coming from a background of business is I believed in properly training people. But then also, there's a write-up system. There's a way to retrain and correct behavior. If this unit manager is not doing it, if the charge nurses are not doing it, then that's

They've got no support to get rid of her and she becomes an HR nightmare. They're not going to touch her. So then what do you do with her? Well, you know, you can't have her bully the staff. This is why good people leave. Yes. And so they're going to need to pick their battle because are they going to keep this one miserable person here or are they going to lose everyone good that comes along and not even get the opportunity to change the dynamic of that unit? So, um,

It comes from two sides. You could either actually go to your charge or your manager and talk with them. If you think that that's already been done, I know it sounds like everyone from the units talked to this individual and the manager doesn't do anything time and time again, then unfortunately it's time to pack your bags because you are not there to be miserable. You do great at your job and it's, it's,

it's really hard to clean up other people's messes all day long. Um, especially if they're that unsafe, like you use regular insulin for the sliding scale. Okay. Do not. And that would be someone that like, you know, probably looks at the doctor's orders, takes everything into her, you know, their own account, um, and then does what they want. Well, that's weird. Also as a unit manager, if you're staying an hour after your shift to chart,

and I see that you've done all these other things, you're costing us money and you're not being efficient with your time. So they should have already had a conversation with this individual. So it shouldn't have even fallen to this point. But unfortunately, that happens a lot as well. It does happen a lot. And

The common theme is if nothing's going, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Then nothing's going to change. So you should leave. Yeah. Because your unit will refuse to get better for whatever reason. And like you said, sometimes it does trickle into management where their management is not good at managing people. So they don't know how to handle a difficult person, but that's the role they signed up for. So they're going to have to either figure it out or you're going to have to leave and they'll lose a bunch of good people.

Absolutely. And as an individual, though, like, you know, they tell us, you know, there's a write up system. So you can go in and you can do an incident report. Well, again, pick your battles. If this person is going to find out that you did that incident report and they're going to make your life a living hell, then you're not going to do it. Otherwise, though, leadership does need support in order to do the corrective actions and go to HR to terminate.

And a lot of people aren't doing the support steps to get to that point. So again, they may agree with you. You may sit down and they say, oh yeah, like we know, we know about that one.

And then you're just going to get more frustrated. Yeah. Cool. So you know about it. You're not doing anything. And that just makes me as a good employee feel like you do not value and appreciate me. So I'm going to go ahead and take my efforts somewhere else. Yeah. And that's sometimes what you have to do. It's unfortunate, but it's not trying to make the episode negative, but I think it's important to show new grads

what could happen. And you're not stuck. You are not stuck where you start. You're never stuck. Yeah. On the flip side of this,

I also think it's important to touch on you will work with assholes. Yeah. Most likely every shift. But it's also just like, how do you manage your time around them? How do you engage with them? Sometimes you pick your battles for one. Yeah. Because I think it's very important to read the room. How is the unit first and foremost? Yep. Don't go like, I'm pretty spicy, but I also read the room and I'm like, well, this whole unit seems to like her for one reason or another. So I'm picking this battle. I'm not going to engage. You know? Yeah.

Yeah, you don't want everyone turning on you. Right, right. You have to read the room. I could see that being really hard as a travel nurse coming in and being like, okay, this behavior is just awful. Like, I don't know how these people stand her. And then everyone's like, oh, yeah, they're so great. And you're like, okay. Or they know they're not great. They're like, yeah, that's just how she is. And I'm like...

Is that okay? I'm a traveler because I won't be here long. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, okay. Well, yeah. Yeah. I'll just step back and let you guys handle that, I guess. Absolutely. Top comment. Top two comments. I am so sorry. You have to deal with this. Has anyone talked to the manager about her before? I don't really have advice, unfortunately, but I want to tell you, I feel you and you shouldn't have to put up with her. They were the OP responded.

Yep, not much you can really do. It's not like anyone wants her fired, but the extremely negative attitude and cognitive issues are so taxing. And she's just so unreasonable with our patients. Psych patients don't often have much insight, especially when first admitted. And it's like she wants them all to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Yeah, like, oh, you're fine. Like, why are you acting like this? Why are you behaving like this? Right. Why are you depressed? Right. Why are you suicidal? Don't do that. Don't do that. That's not how it works. No. And to be negative and aggressive with...

Any patient, but they specifically said inpatient psych unit. We already have an idea of what it's like for them in there. Why would you make it worse? Yeah. Also, you can trigger them real quick and then that's going to escalate to a violent situation. And that's a whole different. Yes. Why would you want to do that? Yeah. Don't do that. Absolutely. Okay. I have another one from.

This is also on r slash nursing, but it's from a respiratory therapist, which I thought was interesting coming from, you know, we work with a bunch of different people, not just nurses. We need our respiratory therapist. We do. Also, side note, before I read this, some of my friends that are RTs have told me that they feel very forgotten in healthcare. And I'm like, well, that's so sad. Because nobody appreciates and values them. Like we did the parades for nurses that...

We were the heroes, but who was managing those vents? Yeah, exactly. It was RT. Or like...

And this is not funny, but I laugh anyway. I get uncomfortable about it when there's like a dire situation in one of the ICU rooms. And the doc comes in and he's like, where's RT? And they're already in there. They've been in there. They're like, I'm right here. Thanks for noticing. You know, like I feel bad for them that they feel so forgotten. I'm like, that's sad. They're our colleagues. Please treat your non-nurse co-workers kindly.

So I'm a respiratory therapist, graduated in 2022, so not new, but not seasoned either. Recently, I started working at one of the largest hospitals in the country, and sadly, I'm already experiencing the same bullying I've been experiencing as an RT at smaller hospitals, but now at this hospital. We're disregarded, talked over, and mocked.

Sorry for the long story. Yesterday, my patient D sat to 86%. He had a plug. I was lavaging and suctioning and got the plug out. A nurse and the tech came in and rudely asked me what I was doing. I explained what had happened and told them I took the patient off of their SBT as well. The nurse doesn't respond and gets at the head of the bed and starts doing something with the patient. I tell the nurse the sats are fine now and patient is synchronous with the vent. Patient had a mucus plug.

Nurse looks at me with the blankest stare and goes, quote, are you the nurse? You don't know if he's fine. First of all, how fucking rude. Then walks out of the room. The tech then starts talking to me and asked me about being a respiratory therapist, how long I've worked here, et cetera. I guess they thought I was much older than I am because they asked me if I was happy with just being a respiratory therapist. In my life...

Oh, sorry. I said that sentence so wrong. They asked me if I was happy with just being a respiratory therapist in my life and then asked me, you plan on furthering your education, right? Like being more than this?

First of all, why would anyone talk to someone like that? That's extremely rude. People, they go to school specifically for respiratory therapy. Exactly. And it's the same as an associate level nurse. It's two years. Yeah. It's like asking a nurse, why don't you further your education to become a doctor? That's not how it works. Yeah. That's not what you're a nurse. We don't need an oversaturated market. We need people who specialize in respiratory therapy. Exactly. Exactly.

Not going to lie, at this point, I went to the bathroom and cried. I don't think people realize that RTs, like nurses, have to pass national exams to practice too. Also, most younger RTs have bachelor degrees now as our programs and job requirements are moving towards this. I have no idea what this profession used to be, but things are different now and have changed for the better. I get it. I'm not a nurse, a doctor, anesthesiologist, etc., but I studied RT and can decently do my job with managing the airway, secretions, etc.,

I know I have an insanely limited scope, so I just make sure I do the best job I can with the respiratory. I never try to overstep boundaries or act like I know more than what I know. So the bullying I have received in the past two years doing this job has been absolutely insane. If you see coworkers bullying non-nurses simply for not being a nurse, please speak up. It's not cool to belittle someone's life choices, especially when we're all part of the same team. I agree. Snaps. Yeah, that's... It's honestly...

All of these have a theme and it's people either being miserable or judgmental, but not respecting their coworkers. Yeah. I am grateful to have respiratory therapists a lot. You know, in some places they don't, they don't have respiratory therapists.

So it's all on you. But I'm able to pick up the phone and say, hey, I need a treatment in this room. Hey, we're about to intubate this room. Hey, I got a conscious sedation. I need you here. And then that takes that whole aspect of it off of me. I don't have to worry about them desatting, have to worry about having to bag them. I don't have to do any of that because they are there for me. And that's

called teamwork. And it's in the benefit of the patient. It's the same, like, so I can think about that and the aspect of an ER doctor. So people will come into the ER with different things that require specialists. So we will either send them out or have them follow up with these specialists and

And, you know, the patient will be like, oh, you're going to do that for me, right? And I have to try not to laugh. And then the doctor will reply and be like, you don't want me to do that for you. It's not, it's, yes, they are there. Could they, if they really, really, really had to? Sure. But they are not,

So they cannot do that or should not do that. Right. So that's why, again, let our respiratory therapist help us. Right. But anyone, you should be kind to your housekeeping crew that's cleaning. You should be kind to your laboratory, even though they call you 12,000 times to tell you that the blood work is hemolyzed. In the most overstimulating times.

But it's not their fault. I will admit they will. Yeah, they will catch. They will catch me in the wrong moment sometimes. And I'm like, for the love of God, don't call me again. Or it's the third time I've sent it. Like, I don't know how to, you know, talk sweetly to this blood so it doesn't hemolyze on its way up to you. Same with CT. Like they'll get they'll get bogged down. Everyone and their brother in the ER gets a CT. So so what is me calling them and screaming at them rudely going to do?

Yeah. It's going to upset them. It's not going to help the patients, not going to make anything go faster. And then when I do need a favor in the future, you know what they're going to be like, yeah, exactly. It's typically a domino effect and they remember your voice or your name. They will fake, they will figure out, Oh, this is that one bitch that's been rude to me. Absolutely. Yeah. So that's why I try. I'm always like, be nice, be nice, be nice. Or, you know, like think before you speak.

Right. Call back, you know, even in the moment, if you do something to like, you can go back and apologize to a coworker later. Like if you say something snappy to someone, you can come back and be like, sorry, that was like, that was rude. That was weird. I'm very sorry. But you have, you have to acknowledge what they're there for. And again, it all comes back to, it's about the patient. It's not about you.

Absolutely. And you know, a coworker apologizing to me, respect. Yeah. So much respect and immediately washes away whatever just happened. Thank you for having self-awareness. Yeah. And honestly, it's just a good trait to have in general. Absolutely. And you realize too, you're like, oh gosh, yeah. Like it wasn't even that big of a deal. Yeah.

you know, you're not, you know, catastrophizing it in your head and making it much worse. You're just like, Oh no, that person's having a moment. Let them have their moment and let me just not let it bother me. And then a lot of times they will come back and be like, I'm sorry. That was a, that was a dick move. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, that's really great advice too. I bet you're,

nursing students like you. You have good advice. I do. I love my nursing students, but I've had a couple of them for semester one and a repeat in semester two. And they're all like, how do we get you again? It doesn't work like that. They don't get to choose who they go with. But yeah, I think it's more important to teach them

real world, what it's like and to be a good human. You're not going to learn everything you need to learn from nursing school. The books aren't going to teach you everything. Your mannequins not going to help you find the vein. But if you're, if you work hard, you try hard, you're a good human and you care about your patient and you realize that everyone should be there for the patient, you're going to be successful. Absolutely. Unless you're like that girl put in a unit that's God awful, but then know your worth.

Absolutely. Get out. Know what you deserve, which we've told you. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Again, I started in a new hire program and they try to tell you like, oh yeah, you're locked in one year, two years. You need to pay us this amount back. Well, I can promise you the people that left never paid a dime back because it was because of bad environments, safety, different issues. So

Do what you have to do. But on the flip flip side, if you live in a rural area and that's the only hospital, make wise choices. Yes. Pick your battles. But if you're in, you know, a very big metropolitan area and you got options, you

Fly away. Please do. Yeah. Also moving facilities or units, you can gain experience too. You can become a better nurse. Like I'm not saying if you stay in one place, you don't become a better nurse, but you can always look on the flip side of it. Well, maybe I'll gain better experience over here or better coworkers. I mean,

I always say I like making friends at work and a lot of people are like, I don't go to work to make friends. I go to work to work. I'm like, well, sure. Yeah. But it's always nice if you're working with some fun people. It makes the day go by faster. It is. You get to experience them. I don't know. I'm just like, well,

I don't go to make friends, but it's a bonus. It's very fun. - It is, and it makes a difference. So like, you know, when you go in for the day and they're like, oh, you know, like what section are you in? High side, low side? Are you in triage? And I'm like, all right, well, where's my work wife? Bet that.

Because if she's around, I'm gonna have a good day. I'm gonna have a good day regardless, but then you make us both happy, then we're jiving, we're triaging each other's patients, we're helping each other. I'll do that for anyone. But you have those people that are your people and you wanna be with them. So respecting that also helps the team as well. - Absolutely. I love making a one person job a two person job. - Yeah. I tell the nursing students that, I'm like, you know what? Hold my hand and bring me in there, absolutely.

A lot of it, again, is just moral support. Can I do these things? Absolutely. Can I drop an NG tube? Absolutely. It grosses me out and I don't like it. And I will always bring in a friend to stand with me just to be there. They don't have to touch anything. They don't have to lift anything up. They don't have to do anything. I just need them there. Absolutely. If you're in the ICU, it's nice to bring someone else in because if your patient's sedated and vented, someone holding their head for you

Yeah, absolutely. Game changer. When you're dropping the dub off. Absolutely. Yeah. And you're like. Otherwise it's coiling in the back of their throat and you don't even know. You're like, oh. And the other person's there like, hey, pull it back a little. And you're like, oh, okay, cool, cool. Thank you. Yeah. Rolling patients makes it so much easier when you have somebody there to help you. Yes. Yeah. Especially in the ICU when they're dead weight, you know, so you do need help and it is nice when it's there. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah.

How do you feel about the importance of professionalism, especially with younger generations coming in and we're a little different sometimes? Absolutely. So what are you guys, Gen Z? Yeah, I'm millennial, but the Gen Zers. Okay, yeah. It's so important. So, so important. So I started in business and...

You are your biggest advocate. You can also be your worst enemy. So you need to sell yourself. You are always, you know, like it's cheesy, but at the movie theater, you are always on stage. You are you. So, you know, your manager shouldn't have to tell you, you know, we got reports that people are using bad language in the nurse station. Yes, we all do it. But people shouldn't overhear you. You should not be rude to someone you know.

need to be respectful at all times and you need to take a moment, you know, just like kindergarteners when they have big emotions and they don't know what to do. We have them too. We have rough days. We have really sad days.

Take a moment, use your words wisely, always be respectful, but you want to always leave a place one better than you found it to in a position where they would want to give you a reference and have nothing bad to say. You might not have been their favorite person, but you were always safe. You were always kind. Your patients loved you. Yeah. And that's all you need to do. So you, you,

being confrontational with other people is not going to change that moment. And it's certainly not going to have a benefit on your future. No, you're actually very right. I think also sometimes this might be some people's first career. And so it's hard navigating with these difficult co workers. But honestly, it's so nice when you can be

professional and kind of slightly passive aggressive so they know what you're talking about. But you do it in a kind way. Right. You can do it in a kind way. You literally kill them with kindness. Yeah. And that can eat them alive. You have family members too that will keep coming up and you're like, for the love of God, stay in your room.

And you just want to unleash on them. But you just kindly tell them, like, it is our policy. You need to stay in the room. You say it in, like, a firm voice. Again, same with toddlers. You say it in a loving, firm voice. And they either get you or they don't. They're escorted out or they get to stay in. And they respect you. And you have a great day with those crazy family members. But it's the same with your coworkers. Like, you can't just yell at them. You can't be disrespectful. Because...

Why would they want to work with you going forward? Why would they want to listen to you? And why would they want to respect you if that's the way that you're going to treat them? And how are they going to change their actions with you being a bitch back? Yeah. You know, it's just, sometimes it doesn't work. Yeah. Um, something that you said, I want to touch on with family, um,

Yes, like in the break room, we're like, oh my God, what is this person's problem? Like, I can't. But talking to patients or family like they're a child, and I mean, in a, like you said, loving way. That's the best way to put it because it's not...

In a condescending way. It's in a, okay, someone needs to tell this person exactly what's happening. And when you do that, when you place those boundaries, a lot of times they listen. For the most part, they're like, okay. Yeah. Sometimes they're testing your boundaries and they don't even know it. It's not on purpose or malicious, but they're doing it. And you're like, okay, let me tell you. That's not how we do things here, you know, in your most...

You say it with a smile. Customer service voice. Yes. Say it with a smile. And a lot of times that behavior goes away. It does. I typically get the issue patients, the patients that give us all a little bit, the people, like most of the time it's a one shift, one and done. Yeah.

But it's because I'll be like, hey, listen, I heard you're talking to so-and-so like this. Do you think they want to take care of you when you talk like that? And they're like, well, I'm in pain. I understand you're in pain. You can tell me you're in pain. I'm going to help you. They're trying to help you. But let's have a good day today. We're going to talk to each other nicely. Yep.

And a lot of times, that's how I would talk to my 13-year-old niece. But it works with adults too. Sometimes they just need a little wake-up call. You can literally tell them, like, hey, I want to be treated the way I am treating you. I want respect and I want kindness. I'll never forget one patient when I was in nursing school. I was with a seasoned ICU nurse.

she made this man cry. He had never cried on, on his, you know, working on a shift until that day. And I was there to witness it. And I didn't know how to feel. I was like, well, this is odd. Went back in and talked with that patient. And she was so remorseful. She's like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe I did that. I was just in so much pain. And, you know, the only thing I could really say at that point was, you know, pain, pain makes you a little monster. You know, it's,

It's okay. But I think when he comes in, I think you need to tell him that because I'm not the one that just cried about it. You know what I mean? But recognizing that and saying it, not letting too much time pass in between, not letting the anger build until it explodes, diffusing the situation.

I know I was taught that as a new grad, like how to diffuse situations. I don't know if they're not being taught that anymore, but we seem to have a lot of escalators, which if you're going to, again, charge in like a rhino, how are they going to respond to you? You yell at me and you catch me at the wrong moment. It's, I will yell at you. Yeah. Yeah. But again, they're,

I'm a nurse and I'm at work. I will not yell back at a patient. I will not yell at a family member. I will talk to them kindly and firmly. And I expect my coworkers to do the same. And when they don't do that and then they escalate the situation and then I have to go back in there. Yeah. That's really frustrating. Yeah. It's awkward. Yeah. Yeah.

One thing I'll add on that is it's okay to walk away. Not if the patient's dying or something like that's happening, but if they're escalating, it's like a baby. It's okay to be like, you know what? I need a moment because if you're about to blow up, it's okay to walk away. Absolutely. One of the times I was floated to the ER for ICU holds, I got an actual ER patient and I was like, oh God, what do I do with this? I don't know what to do. She had been there. She was just waiting for a room.

She had been there all night. She was upset about something from the previous shift at 7 a.m. I just got a report. Somebody else riled her up for you. Right away. She's pressing her call light. I walk in. I'm like, hi, I'll be you. You know, whatever she was upset about. And I was like, oh, OK. I said, you know, I just got here. Let me try to figure out what's going on. Try to calm her down. She's throwing things. She's very upset. She's screaming. I was like, you know what? I'm a walk away. Yeah. I said, OK, I'll be back and just leave. She's still screaming, still screaming.

About an hour later, I get a phone call from her daughter and she was like,

My mom wants you to come in the room. She is so embarrassed. She wants to apologize. I'm like, okay, no problem. Because it had been an hour in the ER. An hour on a shift is like five minutes. It's like, oh, that happened an hour ago. I go back in. She was profusely apologizing. But yes, something had happened previous shift. She had been left alone. Nobody came back to check on her, et cetera, et cetera. And she was mad at whoever came in next. But had I blown up on her, we would have had a shitty shift. Probably the whole shift. Yeah.

Walking away was the appropriate. Then you don't want to go in that room. No, exactly. You have to because it's your job. Yeah. But yeah, that could have gotten severely worse. And again, had people before you, you know, communicated with her, gone to help her. I am the annoying nurse. Well, every few hours, if I don't have anything to do in your room, you know,

in the ER, hopefully you're not there with me, you know, my entire 12 hour shift. But if I'm not medicating you, you're not on the call light for me. You're not going to procedure. I'm not getting blood work. We're not looking at each other. Then every few hours, I'm going to pop my head and just be like, you good? Yeah. You okay in there? Let me know if you need anything. You need...

You need bed adjustment, another warm blanket, what you need. Then they're like, all right, well, I've been here five hours and this day sucks, but this person's nice and it's okay. And then they go back to resting, doing whatever, and they're happy. But those situations can go bad quickly where everyone's like, oh, no, the doctor will come talk to you. Do you not know how to read results? Do you not know how to read a chart? Do you not know how to let them know?

Thank you. You don't, you don't say sorry. That was another I don't remember which podcast I heard that from in the past, but you don't say sorry. You say thank you. You flip it on them and you do mind tricks and you say thank you for your patience today. Okay, so right away, they can't be like, Oh, well, she just said thank you.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're right. I was doing something. You're welcome. Yeah. Not Oh, I'm so sorry. It's so busy. It's I'm so sorry. We're understaffed. I'm so sorry, this and that. No, thank you for your patience. Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for trusting me. You flip it on them. And then it does. It does call him the beast. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah. I'll have to send you it when I find it. But no, I learned that a few years ago. And it was like a

it was a game changer because everything thank you thank you for being here with me today yeah absolutely and they're like oh i was just gonna be mad at you about something but now i'm not so you know it helps kind of flip it that's really good um is there anything else you want to tell a new grad a nursing student something you're that's on your mind um

You cannot afford figs. Yes, that's right. As a new grad. So let me just tell you. So if you went into nursing to be rich...

You made a poor life choice. You're going to be very upset. Yeah, especially like post-COVID days. Like, yeah, in COVID, the government was giving these hospitals money and therefore the hospitals were paying nurses. However, once that ended, so did all those beautiful bonuses. When you start, no matter where you start, you're going to start at rates like I started at $23 an hour. I made more as a server. Yeah.

And I still didn't go buy myself fancy things. Um, and you know, often you'll have school debt to pay for. So for people who think that when they graduate, they need these fakes, these fancy clothes they need. Um, I was telling you earlier that I watched my sister bought me an eye watch when I first started and I'm like pretty anti-technology. I'd handwrite papers if I could. And so we got, I got the eye watch and I was like, Oh, this is so cool. Like all these nurses have eye watches. What's it going to do? Um,

Is it going to tell me their vitals? Does it do something related to nursing? And I found out that it's just because people were so attached to their phones that they needed the messages to go through. And I was so disappointed. I'm like, well, this sucks. I still wear it. Now when I don't wear it, I'm like, oh my gosh, what time is it? I don't even know. It doesn't even have a second hand. It's not very beneficial. Yeah.

But, you know, that's one of the things where we thought we had to have it. You know, the fancy expensive shoes, the bag that matches, you know, all of those gadgets. The one thing I will say, though, for when I turned 30, my friend bought me the Echo stethoscope. Oh.

That is amplifying and noise canceling. That's worth the money. So if you're graduating, tell your family that you want them to purchase you that instead of the cute cups, the planters, the water bottles, the pen sets, everything that says nurse. Okay, cool. Yeah. Like we don't...

When we're not at work, we don't really broadcast it. So, you know, the three times you're going to use those water bottles a week. Cool. Great. Get you something useful like that stethoscope and practical scrubs, scrubs that are water wicking, scrubs that are

But they should not squeeze your body like this. We're not at the gym. We're not wearing leggings. Like let's be appropriate. Also practical. Those kangaroo pockets. I will always wear a bigger size and I love the multiple pockets in the front. You know how much stuff you can fit in there? Great. And the side pocket. Gotta love it.

But things like that, like you don't need them. Wait till you start. Wait till you start nursing. See what you actually need and, you know, make sure you carry the supplies you need. Scissors, stethoscope, and your pen. Love it. And a smile on your face. And drink water. You will lose your scissors. It's okay. We all did. You will. You will. You'll lose your first pair, I promise. I don't know where they go. Then you wander around and you're like, who has scissors? Does anyone have scissors when you need them? Other than that...

Stay humble. Always want to learn. Always ask questions. And again, sorry to the people who've worked in bad environments that they don't have that or they don't feel like they're welcome, loved or supported. But you should always be able to ask questions. And there's still people that I no longer work with that I keep in touch with. And I will ask them or we'll share stories of weird cases. People at work, if I'm not there, they'll come up to me on a different day and they'll be like,

you would love this case if you were here, I'm going to tell you about this weird case. And I'm like, Oh, that's what I love. Like you thought about me enough to come tell me about this weirdness. Cause you know that I like to learn weird things. So I appreciate that. Yeah. That's really good advice. Um, where can everyone find you on social media? I'm on Instagram, mad M spin.com.

And I do have a LinkedIn account as well. So if anyone wants to professionally connect with me. Also, I am a newly graduated acute gerontology acute care nurse practitioner. So I am looking for job opportunities with that. I am emergency trained.

So again, you can connect with me on LinkedIn as well. I love that. I will have the links to her social media in the description, but I think that's all I got for you. That's awesome. Thank you. Bye guys.