AEE 2418: Don’t Dance Around This English Vocabulary
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This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2418. Don't dance around this English vocabulary. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American host,

Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe.

What is your confrontation style? Do you consider yourself direct or indirect or maybe somewhere in between? Today, get four ways to express that you are avoiding saying something directly in English.

Are you still translating from your native language into English in your head? Are you always getting confused between the different grammar tenses? Let's figure out what you need to work on. Find your current English level with our five-minute quiz at allearsenglish.com slash fluency score.

Hello, Aubrey. What's going on today? Oh, not too much. It's a beautiful day in Arizona. What about you, Lindsay? Yeah, it's a gorgeous day here in Colorado, too. I'm feeling good. Aubrey, I have a question for you to get into today's episode. Okay, perfect. So are there any topics that you tend to dance around when they come up when you talk with people? Yes, absolutely. Pretty much anything having to do with politics or religion, depending on who I'm talking to. If I know they really disagree...

And they're not going to be open minded and it's not going to be a constructive conversation. I will kind of dance around sharing my opinion because I'm not going to outright say, yes, I agree with you, but I'm also not going to really push back a lot. So I'm definitely sort of dancing around the issue.

Yeah, for sure. I would add that to that. Maybe conversations about money. These are all topics that you really shouldn't talk about or you have to nuance the conversation about it in different ways. We've talked about this on the show quite a bit. But in American culture, there are definitely certain topics we need to dance around.

Yeah, this came up recently and I shared that a friend's mom always said, I'll forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering. That's definitely dancing around an answer. So clever. You're not answering. In a clever way. And the tiny criticism of them for asking in the first place when they should not have maybe asked the question. Yeah.

So we're not talking about dancing here physically, right? This is such an interesting phrasal verb, dance around, which in this case has nothing to do with dancing. We got a great question on YouTube about this phrasal verb.

Yeah, super interesting. So I'm going to go ahead and read the listener question. This is from Hussein Jr. 5873. Guys, don't forget, we have an entire YouTube channel, more than 200, I think we're at more than 200,000 subscribers at this point. So guys go on over to YouTube, type in All Ears English and hit that subscribe button if you want to see the video version of these podcasts. Okay, good. Yes, right. We'd

got dressed and are wearing something fairly nice for a reason. So you've got to be watching on YouTube. Otherwise, I would be in my pajamas, not going to lie, if this were audio only. That's so funny. I love it. All right. Here's Hussein's question. I'm asking the phrasal verb dance around, asking about the phrasal verb dance around. Additionally, I noticed that native speakers use phrasal verbs more than normal verbs. And why is this?

Okay. Good question, Aubrey. Such a great question. And Hussein is not wrong. We talk about this a lot that we use phrasal verbs so often in English, usually because they're more informal and casual than the other verb that you could possibly use. So we'll talk about that a little bit too today. And we're going to give a few other phrases, vocabulary that has the same meaning of dance around.

I would also say that phrasal verbs, another reason we use them a lot is that sometimes they're more precise.

Yeah, that's true because we have one verb that often there are more specific nuanced meanings. And then we have these different phrasal verbs to have all of those meanings. Yep. And that's something that we get into when we get into the B2C1 level of English, getting that precision added into our English. So good stuff. Aubrey, before we go any further through this episode, I want to give a quick shout out to the people that left a review, our listeners who reviewed the show in the iOS app.

app yeah let's see who did it so merom imami anthony 2610 uh antonella is the name in the review mohades 22 and ralphie 76. huge thank you to these listeners and they were all five star reviews by the way

I was just looking at some of our reviews earlier today and they really warm my soul, like such great feedback, specific things that they loved about the episodes or people saying they like can't start their day without Allers English. I love that. Thank you so much for this great feedback.

Yeah. So if that's true for you and you haven't left a review yet, go ahead and leave a review wherever you listen, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the iOS app, the Android app, write your review, and then we'll do our best to announce your name on the show.

Okay. Good. Yes. All right. Let's dive in here. So this is interesting. Dance around is a really good example of a phrasal verb that's so much more informal than the verb. So the verb is avoid, right? It means to avoid something. But that is a much more serious formal verb. If I were to say, I really avoid conversations about money, politics, it's different to say I dance around those issues, right? I'm not running away from the conversation. Avoid feels so serious.

It really does. It adds a gravity to the conversation. Dance around is lighter, right? I imagine being like tap dancing kind of sort of thing. The visual of dancing around is just not going to be that serious ever.

So let's talk about examples for dance around. So again, this is to avoid dealing with something directly. And it's usually about a conversation. It's not as much about life choices or decisions we make. Right, Aubrey? That's important. Yes.

exactly so let's give a couple of examples for conversations we might say he was dancing around it a bit and then finally asked me out so this happens a lot with dating you're texting each other someone's dancing around it because it's you're putting yourself out there you're fearing rejection so you might dance around that a while before you finally ask someone out exactly or i can tell you're dancing around something spit it out

So maybe you're trying to say something in a conversation, but you're not really saying it. And this person's saying, just be upfront, right? Exactly right. This happens all the time when you have something to say that might hurt their feelings or might come across as critical. We find ourselves not just saying it directly. We're sort of dancing around it, maybe hinting at something. You might say this, like, stop dancing around it.

Right. I love it. And then we do have one example, which is not about a conversation, which is the more rare way to use it. But let's see about this example. They've been dancing around a merger for some time, but we think it will happen later this year.

Yeah, so this is much less common. Yeah, it's certainly not a rule. You know, it's usually in conversation, but we do hear it sometimes something like this, right? Imagine you've heard rumors, you've heard hints about a merger for your company, but you don't know when it's going to happen. You could say this, like, I think they've been dancing around a merger for a while, sort of just like avoiding dealing with it, or you just don't know when it's going to happen. So we could use it this way too, but it is much more common that you're talking about a conversation.

- Perfect, I love it. So this is a great one guys to add to your repertoire, add to your back pocket and use it when you mostly in conversation, when you just don't want to directly address something, you're avoiding something.

Right. We don't want to be so direct for sure. And then we have another one. Beat around the bush is a fun idiom that sort of has the same meaning. Right. Same as dance around. But we really only use this for conversation because that literally means to like not say something directly. You're sort of saying it in a roundabout way or hinting at it. I

I love it. So here's some sample sentences. She was beating around the bush a while before she finally asked me what happened. So again, yeah, like you said, approaching something, going up to the line and not quite saying that, right? Exactly. You're hinting. You're like, what do you think about this? But not asking directly. You're beating around the bush. What's another example? You might say, I try not to beat around the bush, but some questions are tough to ask outright. Right.

So a lot of us want to be more direct, but then you go to have that conversation and you find yourself dancing around the topic, beating around the bush because it can be awkward. Yeah, because we're human beings. I mean, we have mirror neurons. We know how the other person is feeling and that's normal. I think it's a little sometimes tone deaf when people are so direct that there's no regard to how that might feel for someone or what might be going on for them.

So I think that's okay. That's just a symptom of being human.

This is such a great connection skill to use these to sort of take the awkwardness out of a situation. If you see someone or hear someone dancing around something, you can alleviate that awkwardness, minimize it, mitigate it by saying, okay, I see you're dancing around something, spit it out, just let me know. I can see you're beating around the bush, what's going on? And that will sort of take some of the weight out of what they clearly need to say that might be a little awkward for them.

Yes, so true. So true. And another way to say this, and I love that today's theme, right? Just kind of avoiding topics, but wanting to talk about it sidestep. This is a great one. Avoid dealing with or discussing something, right? Is what sidestep means. Yeah, it's usually something

disagreeable, problematic, really awkward, right? If you're going to sidestep something. So maybe you might say, I was able to sidestep the discussion with my mom, but I know we'll have to have it eventually. So for whatever reason you're dreading this conversation, maybe you need to ask her for money, something like that. You might sidestep it for a while. You're just avoiding it.

Good. Here's another one. He totally sidestepped my efforts to talk to him by changing the subject. So someone can sidestep your efforts, right? Your intention to discuss something as well. That's interesting. Exactly. Right. And there is a literal meaning of this as well. If you just step to the side, you could, it's like sidestep, right? It's like moving out of the game, right? Yeah. Exactly. Or getting out of the way. I had to sidestep, but we use it idiomatically this way as well to mean avoid.

Mm-hmm. Super interesting. Super interesting. All right. And the last one, I also love dodge, to dodge, a verb, right, Aubrey? Exactly, which also means avoid. And we use this both physically and as far as conversations or actions, right? So you can, if you're playing dodgeball, right, you're physically getting out of the way. We do this as well with conversations if you want to dodge a conversation.

yeah I think we should do another episode another day on the expression get out of Dodge because it's historical I think I'm not sure if it goes back to like the pioneering Dodge City it probably is about Dodge City in the old west in the US yeah the old west for sure and I just heard it yesterday on the daily podcast or the Wall Street Journal podcast so it's very much alive still being used

Let's do that episode one day in the future. - Oh guys, hit follow 'cause that's gonna be a really interesting episode and we'll share related vocabulary as well. Yeah, that's fun. - And history too, right? History, we'll go into the history a little bit of where it came from, what that time was like and how it's used now. So hit the follow button.

I love the old west. I love that. Yeah, me too. So we have a couple examples here. You might say, "She dodged my attempt to discuss her misbehavior." My children do this. They know that I'm talking to them. They're going to get in trouble, so they'll do everything they can to try and distract me or change the subject. They're trying to dodge getting in trouble. That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. Artsy, right? Very artsy.

Here's the next one. I was supposed to meet my sister last week, but we're fighting. So I dodged her. Meaning maybe your sister tried to text you to confirm or something. And then you kind of avoided that. Not responding to a text, not answering a phone call, or even if you plan to meet and you just don't go, any of those could be dodging someone. Yeah. And it comes back to this, you know, dodgeball, right? So dodgeball, the point of dodgeball, I guess, is to not get hit, right? Not get hit with the ball. Is that right? Yeah.

Yeah. Is that right? I'm not positive. Am I right? You're like the one always playing sports and games. Or you have to catch the ball. I love dodgeball. I think it's so fun. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's the idea of like we're dodging the ball or we're dodging that text, that call, that conversation. Okay. Love it. In case you haven't heard, it's officially an Abercrombie summer. The A&M Vacation Shop has everything on your packing mood board.

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Make it an Abercrombie summer. Shop their newest arrivals in-store, online, and in the app. All right, Aubrey, let's go into a little role play. So here we are neighbors. Yeah, you want to start us out? Yes. Did you talk to Mike about his dogs barking? I know that's been bothering you, but you've always dodged talking to him about it. I tried, but you know how non-confrontational I am. I just beat around the bush telling him Mary has a new baby that probably needs some quiet.

Did he take the hint? That's definitely dancing around the issue. I know. And no, he didn't. I definitely sidestepped it. I'm going to have to be more direct if I want something to change.

Oh, boy. Yeah. This is so me. I am really bad about not being direct. Really? I'll have every intention of like asking, especially if it's going to be awkward. That would be awkward for me to talk to a neighbor about their dogs barking loudly all hours of the night. I think it would for me too. Yeah. So then I would intend to talk to them about it and I would totally do this. Beat around the bush. Little hints. Oh, I heard so-and-so has a new baby. I bet it's difficult to get them to sleep all night. Oh.

no. Yeah, that can be really hard. Me too. It's hard. I mean, to go knock on my neighbor's door and say something, I can think it would be easy, but then when I walk over there, it's a different story. It's so hard because you want nothing but good relations between you. You want nothing but positivity. So it's hard to broach the subject in the first place. But like I said, it's very human. It's just being a human being. So here we use dodged

first, our favorite little word here. I know that's been bothering you, but you've always dodged talking to him about it. So you've avoided the conversations. Right. So this is funny because you know it bothers me. I've clearly vented to you and you've said, well, why don't you say something to your neighbor? And well, I have excuses, right? I keep dodging doing that. I keep avoiding it.

Right. Exactly. And then we use beat around the bush here. You said, I tried, but you know how non-confrontational I am. I just beat around the bush telling him that Mary has a new baby that probably needs some quiet. Yeah. And this is interesting because beat is tricky in the past tense. So this, I'm describing something I did in the past. Beat.

Beat is the same present and past. So this is something that might trip people up. But this I'm saying in yesterday, I beat around the bush telling him, Mary, and if I'm talking about today, you know, I'm going to beat around the bush. I always beat around the bush because it's the same present and past.

Yeah, that'd be another great episode if we haven't done it yet, Aubrey, is an episode on verbs that have the same present and past word. Just to recap those. Yeah, that would be great for our listeners. And it really trips up my 10-year-olds, right? They're learning about all of this in grammar in school, but they're trying to follow patterns. So they're trying to add -ed to the end of every verb to make it past tense, and it does not always work as you guys learning English now. Yeah, interesting. Interesting. Okay, I love that.

Yeah, we'll talk about that soon in the show, guys. So make sure you're following the show. Aubrey, what did I say next? So then you said, did he take the hint? That's definitely dancing around the issue. So you're calling me out on really not asking directly, but in a playful way, right? I would not be offended by this conversation. Like where I'm admitting that I was beating around the bush. You're like, yeah, you were certainly dancing around the issue. But these are so lighthearted and fun. Dancing around, like you were saying, imagining tap dancing. There's no offense given here.

Yes, very interesting. And then the last thing you said is, I know, no, he didn't. I definitely sidestepped it. Right. And so now you're being very explicit about what you did here. You fully avoided it. Right. And I could say I definitely avoided it. I definitely didn't ask it. Right. But sidestepped is another fun way to say that.

I feel like as a takeaway, it's important to pull out the cultural piece here. I know that when I was living in Japan, a lot of conversations that I had with my manager at that time, there was a very different conversational style and confrontational style coming from my manager than what I was expecting, even as a non-confrontational person from the U.S.,

So I think being able to acknowledge this cultural difference, right? If we have a different style of are we direct, are we indirect or anywhere in between? There's a big spectrum, right? Absolutely. And when I was a nanny in Belgium and a lot of my French friends, I noticed this as well. They were very direct.

Okay, the point I was shocked sometimes, right? It would be like, I would never say that to someone, but okay, maybe criticizing something about me or my clothing, and they did not see it as offensive or rude. Interesting. Just more direct, certainly not every European. But in general, I noticed more directness than I was used to in the US even.

Fascinating. So this is part of cultural intelligence, right? So if we're traveling abroad for a business trip, or even if we're on the phone with the New York office from Japan, we just want to have this awareness, right? That there's different levels of directness that we've learned in our culture and neither right or wrong. It's just very different. And being able to comment on it.

using this vocabulary is next level, Aubrey. Yes, absolutely. What a great way to connect. I'm excited for you guys to use this vocabulary. Use at least one of these in your next conversation. Love it. Good stuff. Aubrey, see you very soon. Have a good day. Awesome. See you next time. All right. Bye-bye.

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