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cover of episode EP34. 怕输怕犯错怎么破?失败经验丰富的人聊咋翻盘

EP34. 怕输怕犯错怎么破?失败经验丰富的人聊咋翻盘

2024/9/4
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暂停实验

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宋灰棕
王偲偲
郭婷婷
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郭婷婷: 在面对失败时,我的关注点不在于负面情绪本身,而在于从失败中学习和成长。我会将失败视为一个起点,去探索自己真正关心的事情,并从中获得动力。我不会被失败的痛苦所困扰,而是会积极寻找解决问题的方法。我的人生观是观察和体验,而不是设定目标并追求成就。我设定了很高的标准,并以此为动力,不断提升自己,享受挑战和持续学习的过程,而不是被目标和结果所束缚。即使在所有在意的事情上都没达到预期,我也会平静地观察和务实地思考,并寻找更有效的方法来实现目标。 王偲偲: 面对失败,我会有两种截然不同的反应:一部分是自我否定和害怕别人评价;另一部分是积极寻找解决问题的方法。我会分析失败的原因,并尝试改进。在团队合作中,我曾因太着急而导致活动效果不佳,这让我意识到要调整自己的方式,给别人更多的时间和空间。我需要经历多次失败才能放下情绪,并从中吸取教训。 宋灰棕: 害怕失败的情绪像一只狼,阻碍着我的行动。我会过度灾难化,将失败与失去工作等负面后果联系起来。但我会努力克服恐惧,并通过正反馈来提升信心。我会将注意力放在事情本身,而不是负面情绪上。我会收集足够多的经验,并通过事实检验来提升自信,减少负面情绪的影响。即使被多次否定,我也会保持不服输的心态,并从中学习和成长。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do some people feel motivated by criticism while others fall into self-doubt?

People react differently to criticism based on their mindset and self-perception. Some, like the speaker, use criticism as a challenge to prove themselves, turning it into motivation. Others may internalize the criticism, leading to self-doubt and a sense of failure. This difference often stems from how individuals process feedback—whether they see it as a personal attack or an opportunity for growth.

How can one develop the ability to view failure as a starting point rather than an endpoint?

Developing the ability to view failure as a starting point involves shifting one's mindset to focus on learning and growth rather than the fear of judgment. The speaker suggests that by embracing the discomfort of failure and using it as a stimulus for improvement, one can transform setbacks into opportunities. This approach requires self-reflection, resilience, and a willingness to experiment and learn from mistakes.

What role does the 'observer perspective' play in dealing with failure?

The 'observer perspective' helps individuals detach from the emotional impact of failure by providing a broader, more objective view of the situation. It allows them to analyze what went wrong, identify areas for improvement, and plan their next steps without being overwhelmed by negative emotions. This perspective can be cultivated through practices like mindfulness and self-reflection, helping individuals navigate setbacks more effectively.

Why is 'fact-checking' important when dealing with failure?

Fact-checking is crucial because it helps individuals differentiate between their fears and the actual outcomes of a situation. By focusing on what actually happened rather than what they fear might happen, people can reduce unnecessary anxiety and make more informed decisions. This process builds resilience and helps individuals approach future challenges with greater confidence.

How can one overcome the fear of failure that hinders trying again?

Overcoming the fear of failure involves gradually exposing oneself to the same situation that caused the initial failure, while focusing on small improvements each time. The speaker emphasizes that even a small percentage of effort directed toward the task, rather than the fear, can build confidence over time. This method, combined with self-compassion and a focus on learning, can help individuals move past their fear and take action.

What is the difference between a 'growth mindset' and a 'fixed mindset' in dealing with failure?

A 'growth mindset' views failure as an opportunity to learn and improve, encouraging individuals to keep trying and developing their skills. In contrast, a 'fixed mindset' sees failure as a reflection of one's inherent abilities, leading to avoidance of challenges and stagnation. Research shows that those with a growth mindset are more likely to achieve long-term success, as they are better equipped to handle setbacks and adapt to new situations.

Chapters
三位主播分享了各自在失败中的感受,以及失败给他们带来的负面情绪,例如羞愧、痛苦和自我怀疑。他们探讨了在擅长和不擅长的领域中失败的不同感受,以及这些感受如何影响他们未来的行动。
  • 擅长领域失败是致命打击
  • 失败带来羞愧、痛苦等负面情绪
  • 害怕别人觉得不行

Shownotes Transcript

怎么拥有「兴致勃勃去失败」的心态怎么具备「从犯错中获益」的能力

每个人都面临过大大小小的失败:付出努力没能收获期待的结果,一不小心搞砸工作,重要考试失利......

面对失败,大部分人的感受都偏向负面,感到沮丧、失落,甚至可能怀疑自己的能力。而对失败的恐惧,有时还会扯住我们,让再一次尝试变得更难。

但也有人,不但不会被失败困住,甚至还会兴致勃勃,刻意创造失败。

这一期,失败观不同的三个主播,就来(很欢乐的)聊聊,她们分别如何面对失败,对失败不同态度的背后,隐藏这怎样的思维模式,以及,这是一般人能学的吗?

本期主播:

郭婷婷:杏师(因为之前是研究杏仁核的),暂停实验室创始人。失败是动力,有时甚至刻意创造失败。

王偲偲:暂停实验室主创研究员。面对失败,一半我不行,一半该咋办。

宋灰棕:暂停实验室编辑。曾被失败硬控,不敢探索尝试。

Timeline:

  • 00:36 擅长的事没做好,和在意的事不擅长,都会感到失败
  • 05:09 有时失败的刺激,反而是我认真对待一件事的开始
  • 10:25 在擅长的领域失败,是致命打击啊
  • 11:56 发现和进入一个更厉害的世界时,兴奋 VS 害怕
  • 19:39 在所有在意的事情上都没达到期待,也一点都没感到失败?
  • 28:43 害怕失败的情绪就像一只狼,挡在我和做事之间
  • 33:59 事实检验是种重要的能力:要去看实际上发生的,而不是头脑中担心的
  • 38:48 经历多次失败和被否,还能越变越好,需要怎样的心态?
  • 45:52 选择相信自己行,获得成功和好机会的几率就会变大
  • 49:17 为什么有人被批评会产生动力,而有人会陷入自我否定?
  • 59:22 特别伤痛的时候,那个观察者视角是我最后的依靠
  • 01:02:01 如何获得「观察者视角」
  • 01:05:48 总结:我们面对失败的经验和建议!

本期提到的暂停实验室练习计划:

  • 有效努力):适合想要练习成长型思维的朋友,也包括了正念入门练习
  • 情绪EBP基础):适合想要减少焦虑恐惧影响的朋友,也包括了正念入门练习

本期提到的书:

  • 《自信的陷阱》
  • 《故事:材质、结构、风格和银幕剧作的原理》

制作团队:

  • 主播 | 郭婷婷、王偲偲、宋灰棕
  • 策划、剪辑 | 宋灰棕
  • 后期 | 果苗
  • 录音 | 法布
  • 插画|阿清
  • 音乐 | One Day You Will Grow Up by Mocha Music

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