My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
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My dad has a huge drug problem that's very likely going to kill him. He's been in and out of jail, and I don't know exactly how long he's been homeless, but he's been homeless in San Francisco for at least 10 years. It's okay to be angry, but rage isn't going to solve the problem, right? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Put on my headphones. I was talking too much.

about the game last night and they started the show without me. I hope you are having a great week wherever you happen to find yourself. I hope you're having a great day wherever you happen to be listening to the show, whether you're going for a walk, you're at the gym, cleaning something, you're washing your car, you're headed to work, wherever you happen to be, I'm glad that you're with us. We're talking about your relationships, your mental and emotional health. For 20 years, I've been sitting with people when the wheels have fallen off their life and

And we've had to map out a plan together. What's your next right move? And that's what this show is about. Sitting with hurting people, real people going through real challenges, trying to figure out what's the next right move. I hope you will call in with whatever's going on in your life and join us on the show. Give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 or go to johndeloney.com slash ask A-S-K. Let's go out to Bend, Oregon.

Not bend over, bend Oregon and talk to Amy. Hey, Amy, what's up? Hey, not much. How are you? I'm all right. How about you? I'm doing well. Excellent. What's going on? Um, not so much. Just, uh, I wanted to get your thoughts on, on something that, um, I've been struggling with, with my, my husband. So go for it. What's up? Well, yeah, just, um, when we go out, um,

It turns into these, what I call for him, a tantrum. You know, the kids can see it and hear it and stuff. And it's just so hard. I don't know how to navigate through it. Like when we're just loading up the car. Give me an example. Well, he'll say, well, great. Everyone's out today because we do things on the weekends.

And, oh, I'm not the only one that had this idea. And then, you know, I should be working instead of out, you know, doing this. So sometimes when I pull into a parking lot of a restaurant that I really wanted to eat at and it's packed, I will say, oh, good. I'm the only one who had this idea today. But I'm kind of being silly. I'm kind of being annoyed, but not annoyed at anything in particular, but just the fact that

everyone else likes a great restaurant too like so is he being silly or is he being an immature brat yeah no he's he's making it yeah he's a being a you would say a brat um he you know is um like by the way i have to do this all like every weekend and you know their kids are pretty small they're toddlers and you know he'll go on to say you know this is

you know, for you, what you like to do and because they're not going to remember. So what, what's the point? You know, this is a waste of time and, um, we shouldn't be spending the money anyway. And, and he just keeps going on. And. Okay. So why do you keep inviting him? Well, I'm expecting our fourth. And then like for family things, um, I find, um,

around where we live. It's nice to have him on the weekends so he can, you know, kind of play with the kids. He doesn't want to. He doesn't like this life. Yeah. It's hard because I thought he did because sometimes when we do go out, he does enjoy himself. So that just makes it hard. I guess I'm

What does he say when, have you ever sat down not on a weekend and just talk through like, Hey, what's, what's going on? I feel like you don't like to be around us. You don't like our, the life that we're creating together. What's going on? Um, well, he works from home and he says he needs to be out, you know, working and doing things for us for, you know, our financial stability. Um, and then whatever we do on the weekends takes away from that.

Is he just saying that indiscriminately or have y'all sat down and worked out your family finances and realized, okay, with a fourth on the way, we need to make some extra money during a season? We haven't actually. No. So have you ever heard me talk about pictures and words before? No. Okay. So I think one of the easiest ways to distill down 99% of marriage conflict

is this idea that we think in pictures, but we speak in words. Okay. And so for instance, your husband says, I'll go, I'll do something with the family this weekend. And you say, let's do something with the family this weekend. Okay. You have a very clear picture in your mind about what you think that's going to look like. Y'all are going to be singing in the car. The kids are going to be well-behaved. Y'all are going to go get ice cream or breakfast or whatever you're doing. Like y'all are going to go do some things together, go to a park and play.

He has a picture of something totally different. And so the first time somebody cuts him off in traffic or the first time he goes to the first place y'all wanted to go and it's full and you see what I'm saying? Like you miss each other in the night. And so, or he'll say something like, hey, finances are kind of tight. Well, you'll think, okay, I'll just order water instead of Diet Coke. And he's thinking we're $10,000 short right now. And he's trying to shoulder it all.

Without the skills to communicate or the desire to communicate with you, the actual situation. And so often couples sitting down and saying, okay, we're about to have child number four. Our life as we knew it is about to be over again. We're about to rebuild something new. Right now it feels like we have a life that we can't afford because you're concerned about money to the point that you don't want to be around your family. You work from home, yet we can only do things as a family on the weekends.

And it rarely seems to bring you joy. I want to build a life that you want to be a part of, and I want to build a life that I want to be a part of. And so a conversation that my wife and I have every single day, one of us will ask, hey, what's your picture for today look like?

Because what we were doing is we would say things like, hey, I'm going to be, I'm going to come home. I'll be home a little bit later tonight. Well, in my head, I'm going to get off work because I have media until 630. And then I'm going to go grab some dinner with a couple of coworkers. And then I'm going to go to band practice. I'm not going to get home till nine. For my wife, she has a picture of me being a little late home tonight at six instead of 530. So she just bumps dinner back and the whole family's sitting around waiting.

And so we say, what's your picture of today look like? And I'll say, I've got this and I've got this and I've got this and I've got this. Okay, great. We're going to have dinner at 530 without you. Great. And so you and your husband sitting down and saying, okay, we get to map out what this thing looks like. We get to build what it looks like. And you have to be clear about,

When you want to go out on a weekend and you have a particular thing that you need, like I've been in the house all day with all these kids and I'm pregnant again and I need fresh air, I need to move, and I need a break from the kids. You need to be able to say, I need a break from the kids. And he needs to be able to say, I've got to work a second job to get some extra money right now. We need to hire a middle schooler to come over and just play with the young ones for a little bit because we can't afford a full-time sitter, but we can afford a

a middle schooler to come over for a minute, or we need your sister to come over, or somebody from church to come over. We need to figure that part out. But it's you guys saying what you need, and you need to sit down and do a weekly or a monthly budget with him together so you have an idea of what the finances are, of what kind of stress he's under. And if he says, I need to be working, but actually he's just sleeping in on Saturday mornings and then watching football all day, well, there's a mismatch, so your pictures and words aren't aligning.

but this feels like this amor, it kind of feels blobby. You never want to be around us. I'm always around you. Yeah, but you never really feel like you're, yeah, but I never. And so no one's being specific about what they actually want, what they actually need and giving the other person an opportunity to say, I can meet those wants and needs, or I'm not going to meet those wants and needs. And here's why. And that's a more vulnerable conversation, but y'all are there now because here's what's happening.

You are doing what you know to do just harder. Let's do weekend stuff together or more. And he is doing what he knows to do, which is to complain, go act like kind of a toddler, throw a temper tantrum louder and more. And what's going to happen is you're going to find somebody somewhere that gives you a little bit of peace. You're all going to start ending up co-managers of a pretty wild household. You got four kids. Y'all are outnumbered two to one.

You're going to start being good co-managers of your house, but you're going to miss each other in the night. And so I want you guys to take a small retreat, get together. It can be a Saturday, it can be a Sunday. Talk about money. Talk about adding kid number four. Talk about what you want your house to look like in five years, what you want your house to feel like in five years. And then be very specific about things like, hey, I miss you. I feel like every time we do things together, you're just annoyed. Is there something I can do to bring some more joy to our time together?

I feel like you're stressed about money a lot and he can talk to you about what he's experiencing using the word I. I'm experiencing you more frustrated than usual. I'm experiencing you more tired than usual, whatever the words are. And y'all can get to the root of what's actually going on. I'm really grateful for the call, Amy. I'm going to send you a copy of Building a Non-Anxious Life as my gift. I want y'all to use that as a roadmap for your house.

You have a chaotic, anxious house as is. And if there's money stress on top of it and marriage stress on top of it and any sort of other clutter or chaos or lack of sleep or any of those things that come with having four young kids, this will give you a roadmap that y'all can work together to build a house that's not anxious and thereby give you an opportunity to have a house that's full of peace. Thanks for the call. We'll be right back.

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All right, let's go out to Jackson, Mississippi and talk to the one and only Connor. Hey, Connor, what's up? Hey, how are you? I'm great, brother. How are you, man? About to have a weird conversation. Probably weird for me, not for you. Hey, dude, let's get weird as you want to get. All right, so what I have written is my dad has a huge drug problem that's very likely going to kill him. I'm the only person that he has left and...

And I've been spinning my wheels on this, trying to figure out if I can do anything that's helpful. I know the problem's probably not going to go away, and there's probably nothing that I can do, but there has to be a way for me to move forward. Does that make sense? Yeah. How old are you, man? 25. How long has this been a part of y'all's life together? Well, I'm sure that he's had a drug problem for decades.

His whole life, as far as I know. But my parents got divorced when I was around 10, mainly because of this and because he couldn't behave. But he's been in and out of jail since then. And I don't know exactly how long he's been homeless, but he's been homeless in San Francisco for at least 10 years. Do you have any communication with him?

He calls me every once in a while. When I was younger, we talked a lot more. But the most recent thing I heard from him was he was in the hospital. One of the nurses or whoever was taking care of him called me and said that he wanted to talk to me. And I asked how long he had been there, how many times he had been there this year, and they said 25. And that he had just overdosed again and they resuscitated him. It's kind of the same thing.

Are you married? Yeah. Do you have any kids? I just had one. He's a year old now. So are you experiencing the, like, you can't really describe it, the indescribable love of holding a one-year-old that nobody ever told you about, and you're wondering how in the world did your dad pick this life over you?

Yeah, it really gives you a different perspective because when you're younger, you think, you know, well, you just can't seem to get it together. But then you have a kid and you're like, I can't imagine how he didn't, you know? And so it's common that you will toggle from a life of frustration and fear at growing up in the house of someone who really struggles with a profound drug addiction and divorce. And then you move to some level of compassion. Like you mentioned, just can't get it together. It is what it is. This is my dad.

And then you hold your first kid, and it's very common that it goes to rage, to anger. Like, are you kidding me? Like, when you hold that one-year-old, your one-year-old, like, you would burn down a city for that kid, right? And so it's hard to wrap your head around. And so I guess, number one, I want to implore you to stay in compassion as much as you can because anger is not going to solve the problem. Anger is fine. Rage isn't going to solve the problem. It's okay to be angry.

But rage isn't going to solve the problem, right? Yeah, and I'm not really so much angry or frustrated, but just like it's got to be something I can't imagine, I guess, since he's in the middle of this crazy addiction, I guess. But I don't really know how I can help him or if there's any way I can help him. So pursue the fantasy with me, okay? You get on a plane and you fly down to San Francisco from Mississippi. You fly down to San Francisco. You find him. You all hug.

have a big reunion, you'll go to breakfast and you've set up for him a rehab place where he can go and you figured out how to pay for it. And it would be ungodly expensive, but you figured out how to pay for it. And he goes and he goes to 30, 60, 90 days inpatient. He gets out, he's clear eyed, he's shaved, he's bathed, he's got a job. Then what? I mean, I've tried to do that, but I don't,

really see that getting to that point that's right even if it even if it did get to that point i don't if uh unless you got a job and was able to figure it out or get on some kind of disability i feel like it would just happen again yeah so there's this moment when i'm gonna love you the best i can with the tools i have given the circumstances we both find ourselves

What that might look like is he doesn't have a mailing address, does he? Or does he? Does he have a PO box or something? No. No. Does he have a cell phone where he can get in touch with him? Every time he has one, he loses it or it gets stolen from him or something. Okay.

So every once in a while, maybe every few months, I'll get a call from him. Or the last time he was in the hospital, he'd call me from their phone. And there's a couple hours away, there's a ministry-type rehabilitation center that I've talked to them and they'll take you and it's free. They give you a job and he's like, I don't want to do that. Or he'll act like he wants to do it, but he really doesn't. Sorry, this one's kind of catching a lump in my throat, man. There's something about

wanting something for your mom and your dad so bad that they don't want for themselves or maybe they can't for themselves for whatever reason I'm not saying it's getting worse because it's his situation's been about as worse as you can get yeah but there comes a point when his body says body has had enough right

Yeah. And what made me call is, is I feel like I'm getting desperate because he, he overdosed again. And when I talked to him this last time, he said that, um, he was mad. They resuscitated him because he has DNR written all over his body. And then he overdosed again in the waiting room or whatever, or when he got there, when he woke up, um, he had something on him and overdosed again in the hospital. Yeah. So I do, I just, just stop talking to him. What do I do?

I think you have to answer that question for yourself. Sometimes people have said the last thing they need to say, which is, I love you. I've got a plan for you. I have a fantasy about my son growing up with a granddad. And when you're ready, I'll be here. And then you have to hold that space for a few overdoses. Or in this situation, it sounds like he's trying to die by suicide via overdose.

And some people want to have one last face-to-face. You get on a plane and you go find him. I don't even know how you would go about doing that, but you go find him. And you take him to breakfast and say, I'm your son. I just wanted you to know. Like, I see you're on a bad trajectory. I'm going to tell you one more time, I love you. These people will take you. I've already set it up. It's for free. Here's a picture of your grandson. I just want you to see it. And I'd love you to be around for another 20 or 30 years. Watch him grow up. And then you can leave with peace in your heart knowing I did what I could do.

Yeah, I've thought about that. I just don't know if that's the right thing to do or not. Here's the thing. I want you to be able to close your eyes at night knowing I did what I could do and I did it with love and I didn't use my dad to try to make me feel better. Yeah, that's a good way of saying it. And so for whatever it's worth, man, it sounds like over the last 25 years you've gone to the ends of the earth to try to get that man to see you and love you and to love those around him.

Yeah. And for whatever it's worth, his continued drug use and his continued homelessness and challenges have not been because of his son, Connor. Right. I'd be willing to bet he's been alive longer because you're in the world. Yeah, I hope so. And maybe it's a matter of writing him a letter and making one last flight this holiday season to say goodbye and just knowing I'm letting my dad go. Or maybe you don't even have to make that trip.

You can write that letter and you can read it to your brother and sister around the Christmas tree this year, or you can read it to your wife and your one-year-old and just know this is the year I said goodbye. I don't know what, um, I don't know what the, the old 5150. I don't know what the, I don't know if you can force somebody into rehab in California. I don't know if you can make somebody who's dying, um, of, of substance abuse in California go to rehab. I don't know what the rules are there. Yeah, I don't either.

It sounds unlikely that you could make somebody do that. Yeah, most places, like a mandatory hold is pretty tough, especially over a long period of time. Yeah, and I had talked about that with a hospital, and they offered him treatment as well, but I don't think he took it. Yeah, he can walk out the door. Right, yeah, they released him, and I guess he just went back to the streets, as far as I know.

So I think if I were you, I would probably sit down and you've probably heard me say, tell people to do this, but I would write, I would enter into the, the three letter ceremony, which is I'm going to, I'm going to write my dad one letter that says, dear dad, like, um, here's what you gave me. I want to say, thank you. It's a letter of gratitude. I'm 25. I've got a one-year-old. Um, thank you for whatever, find gratitude in your heart.

It's made you more compassionate. It's made you be more open-minded. His struggles have made you make different choices in your life. Even if it's gratitude for, thank you for painting a picture of what life I don't want. Then a second letter is one of anger. I can't believe, say all the things that are in there, write them down and get them out. And the third letter is a letter of honor. And here's who I'm going to become. Here's what you're going to miss.

But it's a testament to our family tree is going to look different. And here's the role I'm going to play. And for most people who do this, it has a sense of just taking the cinder blocks out of your backpack that you walk around with every day. Yours will be a little more challenging because he's still alive. And most of us don't ever have to run up against this terrible feeling of I would if I could, but I can't. Like, here's the limits of what I can do here. What's your wife think you should do? I don't know.

Nothing in particular. Kind of the same thing as me. You talk to him and you tell him what you can, when you can. But that's about all I can think to do. What do you want to do? I don't know. I don't really want to go see him and I don't really want to deal with it anymore. Okay, listen. Listen, listen, listen. You have permission to make that choice. You're not a bad guy. Yeah.

You're a good young man. You're a good new father. You're a good husband. I'll even go as far to say you're a good son. You've done what you could do. And no, when he passes away, it will still hurt. You'll still have guilt. But you've heard me say this before. I want you to choose guilt over resentment. If you go out there again and spend $2,500 on plane tickets and hotels and food and whatever, and he snubs you again, you're going to start getting rageful. You're going to start resenting the fact that he exists.

Right. Yeah. I've thought about that a lot, the guilt over resentment. I'd rather feel guilty that I stuck my hand in the bag and got bit by a rattlesnake 50 times and I didn't do it a 51st. And there's always going to be, it's natural to feel a little guilty. I should have done it 51st time, but reality was I did the best I could with what I had. Right. And my dad was sick. And the greatest gift I can give to the legacy that he left is to do everything I can as far up river as possible to

to never put myself in a position where I can get sick like that. Right. Yeah, it's definitely, like you said, taught me what I shouldn't do. And my friends that have dabbled in drugs, and I'm like, you have no idea what it's going to lead to. There you go. How quickly you can go down that path. There you go. So David Kessler talks about in his book, Finding Meaning, there comes a moment when you talk about who I'm going to become because...

And maybe you develop a pretty powerful talk and you go talk to high school kids. Or maybe you develop a pretty powerful personal talk and you go talk to adults who are entering 30-day treatment programs. Yeah, that might be nice. But it becomes a way to make sense of the pain that you've experienced. It's about finding meaning in that hurt. But usually that's probably pretty premature on your end right now. Right now we're just going to be sad. Yeah, makes sense.

and maybe you put a small gift for him under the tree in your house this year just as an homage, or maybe not. I guess the thing I want you to hear me say is there's not a right way to do this, and I want to release you from any other further obligation. You've done what you could do, what you could do, what you could do. And if you choose to enter into the madness one more time, go get it. That tends to be my bent. I just beat my head over and over and over again, not in a healthy way, but that means I have no boundaries. It doesn't make it right.

I think you and your wife make peace, exhale, write the letters, and then make a daily commitment for the rest of your life. I'm going to stare down this hurt that I've experienced and my kid will have a different life and my grandkids won't know that our family had this tragedy in our family tree because of the work I did. I'm proud of you, my brother. He's lucky to have you as a son and your little one is lucky to have you as a dad. We'll be right back.

All right, so I've done some soul searching recently, and I've come to the realization that I actually love the internet. Just kidding. The internet's the worst. It's amazing, but it's the worst. But...

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Hey, Deloney. You're doing good. How about yourself? Just rocking on to the break of dawn. What's up? Awesome. Well, I recently found out that I'm pregnant. Is that a good thing? Yes. All right. Yeah, we weren't really telling anybody, but except now I just told a whole bunch of people. Kayla, nobody listens to this show. You're fine. You're fine. Nobody listens to this. Yeah. All right, so you're pregnant. Congratulations. Number one?

No, number three. Number three. Dang, Gina. Yeah. All right. Yeah, and I've heard you say that going from two to three is really hard. Yeah, for man-to-man-to-zone. Good luck, guys. Good luck. Anyway, so a friend of ours from church, she recently went through a miscarriage. And then shortly after that, I found out about this baby, and I feel like I should tell her

um, about it in person, but I'm not exactly sure how to tell her, um, before we share about it on social media. And that's why I'm coming to you. Oh, great question. Yeah. Great question. Tell me about your friendship with this, with this woman.

I've known her for a few years. I want to say that we're particularly close. Like we're a part of the, like a tribe of women that she's tried to like get around her. We've done a few girls nights together and she had me and another friend of ours on a group text when she was going through the miscarriage and things like that. And like, I called her and prayed for her and yeah, but like, but we never really had any like heart to hearts or anything. So it was,

It's, yeah, it's like I know her, but I don't know her deeply. Yeah. So really the best wisdom I could give you here is exactly what I would do. Okay? Okay. I would say I need to come over to your house and you'd have a private conversation with you. And I'd go over to your house and say, this is, this is,

remarkable news, but this is going to be particular. It might be particularly painful news. I don't know. I don't want to prejudge. I want to presuppose, but because of how you honored me and let me walk alongside you when you were hurting, I wanted you to be the first to know that we just found out that I'm pregnant. And so, um, the, the, the two ways I have difficult conversations, the two frames I have are facts are your friends. Just say the thing, no him hauling, no running around and no long stories. And in third grade, none of that. Um,

I know this could potentially be painful. This could potentially be the best news you can hear. But before it makes its way around everybody, I wanted you to know first. And the second one is, so facts of your friends, I'm just going to say the thing. The second one is calm is contagious. I'm not going to come in hysterical or kind of over the top. I'm going to come in with peace. And I think the third and most important thing for you is, is just to give her whatever reaction she has. Okay.

And she might be overwhelmed with joy for you. She might tell you to get out. She might tell you, I'm excited, but I can't be with you during this time. And I would give her just an extraordinary amount of grace. Okay. Okay. I think the only thing you can control in this side of the relationship is you treating her with dignity and honor. And I think your intuition is right.

I don't want her getting this from some email. If you walked through her miscarriage with her, y'all have a bond, whether y'all have Kumbaya time on a weekly basis or not. And it definitely is the right thing to say, Hey, before this, before you just get a text message about this, I wanted to let you know in person. Okay. Does that make you nervous? Um, kind of mostly wondering like, do I need to bring something over to her house? And we're like, do I need to acknowledge what had happened to her? Um,

Yeah, more like that, but I think everything else will be fine. So I don't want you to go over to her house and apologize for the happiest moment of your life. Oh, okay. Because I definitely would have. So you're not apologizing for being pregnant. Okay. You are just honoring her by telling her first in person because you'll have a deeper relationship and she's got some significant pain around this same topic. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And so...

Joy and pain are not some zero. You having an exciting news doesn't take away from any joy she was slowly accumulating. There's endless amounts of joy and there's endless amounts of hurt. And so the best thing you can do is to treat her with honor, treat her with dignity and keep your integrity about you, which is I'm going to do the right thing and then give her grace because grief makes us act and do tough stuff sometimes.

And if she chooses to cut you off for a while, I can't text you. I don't want to talk to you for a while. You didn't do anything wrong. She's just struggling. Yeah. And that's okay. And you might feel weird or guilty. Just let me don't. You're having a baby. That's amazing news. And she lost a baby. That's terrible news. Both of those things are true and they don't come at the cost of the other. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. If you were having her husband's baby, that's,

Now we got a problem, right? Yeah, definitely. Thankfully, that's not the case. Exactly. So you see what I'm saying? That's another call on this show, I'm sure. But that's when you have, oh my gosh, I have the thing. It becomes messy. You're not here. You're not apologizing for having a baby. This is the most exciting thing ever. I think letting her know, I would love for you to walk alongside me in this. And I also fully understand if it's too soon, if this is heavy.

Give her permission. And then refuse, refuse to talk bad about her. Refuse to belittle how she responds. Refuse to tell other people, oh my gosh, she lost it. She screamed at me, told me to get out of her house, which probably won't happen. Probably what will happen is she'll get choked up instantly and give you a big hug and tell you she's so happy for you and then probably send you a text of some sort about how she really feels later. That's my guess. Okay.

But having experienced that in my own house, not as a woman, not as a person who's carrying a baby, but having experienced multiple miscarriages, nothing made me happier than when I found out my friends are pregnant. I was so happy for them. And I also know some people just need space because they're not in a place to celebrate, and that's okay. Good. All you can do is the next right thing. All right. Is that cool? Will you do me a huge favor? Yeah. Will you let me know how it goes?

Yeah. Will you write us back and just put follow up? Yeah, definitely. I would love to know how the conversation goes. And if your friend wants to call, that'd be great. Okay. I'll tell her. Be cool. When's your baby due? End of July. Boy or girl? I don't know. My daughter says that it's a girl and I'm just like, I don't know. We have one of each. I think it's a boy and I think you should name it John because that's a dope name.

Well, psych, we already have a boy named John. Booyah! Hey, listen, if you don't screw this up, your kid too can be a middling B-level podcaster one day. Shoot for the stars, Kayla. Shoot for the stars. Oh, man, amazing. Hey, it's an honor to get to talk to you today. I'm excited for you. And thank you, um...

Thank you for being there for your friend when she was struggling. She needed a person to text in the middle of the night just to say she wasn't okay. It's hard to walk through loss with somebody. And that's a pretty noble, honorable thing that you did. And it'd be amazing if she could walk through joy with you. And it's also understandable if right now she can't. Both of those are okay. She's lucky to have you as a friend, Kayla. Thank you so, so much for the call. We'll be right back.

Okay. I want to tell you about my friends at Cozy Earth. Over the last few weeks, my sleep has been off. I've been spending more time on screens than I like, and I'm traveling all over the place. I'm just feeling disconnected. Here's the deal. Starting this year off right starts with good sleep, period, full stop. And that means creating a space that helps you rest. From

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All right, we're back. Hey, don't forget, you can watch the new episode of United States of Anxiety in the Ramsey Network app. The show is hosted by the Ramsey Network, and you can download the app wherever you get apps. You down with APP? And you can download it and... You know me. Yeah, I'm excited for you. Kelly is a hip-hop queen, by the way. That's who they called her back in high school. Sorry, I had to. I like how the other kids in the booth were like, what is that? It's before y'all were born.

I can't believe you're down with OVP. Yeah, you know me. That's your homework assignment. I'll listen to it. You won't. You're right. Your life would be better if you did, though.

It'd be awesome. But hey, you can download it. You can get this show a week early and you can go check out the latest episode. It's kind of taken off. It's pretty amazing watching this brave, wonderful woman go on a pretty transformational journey. So go check it out in the app. Love you guys. Don't forget to subscribe on YouTubes and to leave the reviews and download the shows and share it. Partridge in a pear tree. Do all those nice things for me. How about that?

Oh, geez. How do you end shows? There should be a class in college for how to end podcasts. Just say bye. See ya. Hey, what's up, folks? Big news. The Dr. John Deloney Show is now available a full week early in the Ramsey Network app. That's right. You can catch all the real talk of mental health, relationships, emotional health before anyone else. And the best part, it's completely free. Just click the link in the show notes to download the Ramsey Network app and start watching early today.

All right, it's the new year and it's a perfect time to begin focusing on your most important relationship, your marriage. Every marriage needs intentional time and energy so that both of you can be aligned in co-creating the life that you both want. That's why my friend Rachel Cruz and I have teamed up to offer our amazing money and marriage getaway retreat in Nashville, Tennessee, this time over Valentine's Day weekend.

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