6 Surprising Signs of Adult ADHD
50:03 Share

Amica is an incredible sponsor of the mall robs forecast, and they are also our exclusive insurance partner. There is a reason why amica representative care there. That's the reason they take the time to get to know you.

They want to know your needs, so you get policy that gives you both coverage and a piece of mind. Ica representatives are real caring people who are always there to help you as a trusted partner to their customers. Amica a representatives understand that insurance is about protecting the life you've built.

So go to a mea dot com and get a quote today, holiday shopping can be overwhelming, but macs gift guide makes IT so easy to get everything you need for the holidays. All in one plays with hand pick gifts for everyone on your list, and you can easily shop by Price or category from ug slippers, dior makeup and lockers, pots to dimension board games and so much more. Take the guessing out of the gifting this year and lean on maces to help you find the perfect give for your loved ones.

There's a MC dark com flash gift guide. Hey, it's a friend male, and welcome to the mall Robin's pocket. Who I got to take a big excel because today's conversation is going to be a good one.

I have been dying to share a deeply personal story with you. I was diagnosed with A D. H. D. At the age of forty seven.

And I wanted to talk to about IT because i'm not the only person who's been diagnosed late in life with a hd. In fact, researchers say this is very common with women. And there is an entire generation of women.

They've labeled them the lost generation who have struggled A D H D their entire lives and never even knew IT. And I was one of them, and you maybe one of them too. And when I was finally diagnosed was just six years ago.

And i'm going to tell you the whole story about how I got diagnosed because I was by mistake. But when I finally got that diagnosis, IT was both a blessing and a curse. IT was a blessing because I finally understood all the things that i'd struggled with for my entire life.

And here's why I was occurs. IT was a curse because I couldn't help but reflect back on the past forty seven years, I felt so much grief about the amount of struggles that I had. I wondered how things would have been different if somebody had figured this out when I was really little, I wouldn't have struggled with anxiety or did some of the things I deeply regret.

That's how a big of a deal this is spent in my life. And so today you're gona learn the four key differences about how add affects boys and girls. You're going to learn the reason why women go profoundly undiagnosed.

You're learn the surprising way most women find out that they have A D, H, D and a connection between anxiety, depression, eat and disorders living with undiagnosed hd. And you will get a lot of good news because there is good news and there's a lot that you can do to support yourself if you or someone you love have A D H D. And i'm going to focus on the impact on women, but we have fans across the entire gender spectrum.

And when you hear what i'm about to explain to you, this will help you understand and empower your sister, your partner, your daughter, your girlfriend, your knees, anybody that you know, because this conversation today is going to be full of resources that will help you empower yourself or other people in your life who have either been diagnosed or who haven't been diagnosed and nor wondering what the hell is wrong with me, because that's basically how I felt for the first forty seven years of my life. What the fuck is wrong with me? So six years ago, our son, okay, he was in the fourth grade, and I was forty seven years old, and he was really struggling in school.

He was interrupting class. He was he, he didn't pay attention. Ba, and luckily, this was at a time in our life where we could afford to go outside at the school and get a neuropsychology.

He would shut out to doctor mode over. And sure enough, findings were very conclusive. He had profound this lexie. He had disgrazia, which is related to this lexie. And the other thing he was diagnosed with is a hd.

And when I started reading the report, because when you get these a assessment done, and i'm sure a ton of you've had this experience, either with your kids or maybe IT happened to you when you are kids, when we got the big report telling us all about oakley brain, I was sitting with this pediatrician, doctor bloom, and saw, and i'd known mark for my god, sixteen years at this point. And we're flip through the thing and Marks go on, yeah, yeah. This makes a lot of sense, makes a lot of things.

You know, we going to talk options about what we could do in terms of therapy or medication or, you know, ways that we could support oak. And I kind of looked at mark, and I said, you know, as I read this, mark is hans. A lot like me did.

Do you think that maybe I have patiently and after, or bloom and fall? I just love this. But he leans back in his chair, and he looks at me with the sort of stand look on his face. Seems like, do I think you .

have A D H D male?

Robin, of course you have a hd. In fact, you're probably the most A D H D parent I have in my entire practice. You are so successful and you are complete birdbrain.

Do you realize that you will go years and not bring your kids in for their wireless disappointments? In fact, every fall we have a joke. We know that you are going to be one of those twenty parents that call on a fucking panic because you need a physical.

You need a physical, your kids practice or someone need to physical. And now you it's a five alarm fire, but you've missed their wellness sap, pointless. And you do IT every year and you will leave every exam and you'll O, O, K, i'll follow up A O I, you never do.

And I just looked at him because I knew he was right. I always felt so incomplete about my ability to keep up with appointments or remember things like that or any of IT. And they goes.

So do I think you have a, of course, you have adhd. And I looked him square in the I. U.

S. In your new system. Why did you tell me? Why did you tell me? I, I know your doctor.

Ml, i'll tell you, i've forty seven years old when I realized that what are you had been dealing with for my entire life may not be anxiety IT might just be fucking A D. H. D.

And so I went to my primary care SHE referred me to a specialist, sure enough, just like my son, this lexi, A A D H D. And once something happens in my life, I am like a trifle pig routine. N for A, I literally start digging until I find something.

And I made IT my mission six years ago to find out everything I could possibly discover about A D H D. Not only because I wanted to help her son oakly, and eventually your daughter candle and our daughter sowar, but also because now that I had this diagnosis, I wanted to understand what the hell is going on so I could help myself. And what I learned is incredible. I am part of a lost generation of women who were diagnosed with anxiety or depression or an eating disorder or some other condition in my teens and twenties, when the underlying problem all along was that they missed the diagnosis of adhd. And that's why I wanted talk you about IT.

I have wanted to have a conversation with you about this ever since we started this podcast eight months ago, but I have been reluctant to do IT because I wanted to make sure I had resources to give you because every time i've talked about this on youtube or on social or i've talked about IT on a talk show, we receive an available of inbound stories request for information. And so I didn't want to impact everything i'm going to share with you today until I knew I could point you in the right direction. And what we're going to talk about today is really important.

What the research shows is that when you are not properly diagnosed with adhd and you have IT, the outcomes for girls in particular, are horrendous. And the word horrendous is a word that one of the world's leading experts uses, not me. Let me just read this to you.

This comes from .

doctor Allan liddon, who's a clinical psychologist, coauthor of understanding girls with A D. H. D. And this is what he said.

The risk for self harm and suicide attempts is four times higher for girls with A D. H. D. Thank girls without that's terrifying. So the conversation that we're gona have today, because way beyond having trouble with homework or having trouble focusing, but I personally believe as I sit here and I look back on my life, and now fifty three years old, I look back on my life, and I know that I would not have struggled with anxiety the way that I did had I been properly diagnosed, medicated and treated for add when I was little full stop.

And so if you're somebody that is struggled with low self F A steam self losing, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and you can't seem to turn the corner on this, I truly want you to consider what am about to share with you what i've learned in the last six years of researching this extensively, talking to the world's leading experts about this, among them dr. 点 net holwell， who wrote to distraction. He's like the O G of, uh, A D D research at harvard.

He is a world reno psychologist, doctor Daniel, aiming the definition of A D H D. And this was new to me. A D, H D is chronic neurobiological disorder, which affects the brain structural and chemical capabilities and the way that your brain communities and IT is also highly inheritable.

And there is good news here. There's a lot of good news that you're gna learn. But here's what we're gona cover. Okay, the six surprising signs that I didn't know that I had all six of them that could be signs that you too have adult adhd. We're going to talk about why women were so profoundly under diagnosed and have been for decades.

When you talk about the mental health implication, when you're not properly diagnosed and when you don't seek either therapeutic or occupational treatment for IT, you're going to learn about the four key differences between how A D H D presents and boys and girls. And we're going to talk about what to do if you think this is you. And finally, we're going to get into what's actually happening in rain when you have A D H.

D, because this is so fascinating. The first place to start is, why are so many women under diagnosed? Why does this go missing? And girls, well, the answer is this, when they first made A D H D.

A diagnosis back in the late seventies, the only study poys that's IT, the only study boys and boys present very differently than girls. They have totally different symptoms. And this is really important, understand.

Because when I first heard the term adhd, I thought of our son, leg is jittery, hands are fighting, you know, raising the hand, bump up, up and down, got around to the bathroom, pop and around, do to do to do, highly distracted. But what always confused me about him is that he could also laser focus on video games. So I sort of dismissed adhd because i'm Michael.

He can focus on video game, so I must be about his interesting things. No, no, no, no, no. A H D has both physical symptoms that you see on the surface, and those are typically what's present boys.

The girls typically do not present those jitters ery, interrupting kind of physical chaos. Boys present four key differences with A D, H D. Thank girls. do. Here they are.

Number one, when a boy has A D, H, D, they have symptoms that appear on the surface, impulsive behavior, figuring, getting distracted, being very physical with their inability to concentrate. Girls are, we have the opposite symptoms are, are all internal. We're restless.

We daydream, were hard on ourselves. We're forgetful or disorganized. And we start to aim IT at ourselves as a character flaw.

So when you're a girl with A D H D, your daydream, you're disorganized. Your heart on yourself, you make careless mistakes. You might be called a tomboy or super creative.

But what happens, and this is why this is so scary, this is what happened to me, is that when you sit in a classroom and you see all your friends turning things in on time, we're staying organized or their lockers are clean and yours is a mess and you're running late, you start to think you have a character defect, you start to think there's something wrong with you. And IT also gets missed because it's in internal. We're not sitting their bounds in our leg and jump and raise in our hand.

We have the opposite impact. The second key difference between boys and girls is that boys present earlier, typically around the age of seven. Girls, however, present later, on average, like around twelve.

The third reason why there's a big difference between girls and boys is because boys wear IT on their slave. They have trouble controlling their physical outputs. Where's girls? Girls are excEllent at hiding this.

why? Well, because we feel the pressure to conform. We do our best to cope, look around and see what everybody else is doing.

And we start working harder to compensate for what we feel is a character default in us that we are less more than that. We're not good enough that everybody else seems to get this but me and we hide IT. And here's the big fuck in difference between girls and boys with a hd, boys tend to get Better.

Girls get worse. And that is exactly what happened to me. I got way worse, way worse. What goes from daydreaming, following instructions, making careless mistakes, forgetfulness, all nighters, not being able to stay organized.

That chronic struggle turns into, i'm fucked up there, something wrong with me, and a profound correlation between anxiety, depression, eating disorder, ters suicide thoughts. This is not just me, by the way, let me pull some of the research up because I said, is scary. You can hear me flipping through my papers.

Women with adhd face the feelings of being overwhelmed and and exhausted the same way that man do. However, women increasingly have psychological distress, feel inadequate, low self, estee, chronic stress. This is extremely common.

One clinical psychologist, doctor Allan litman, wrote the book understanding girls with adhd. The outcomes for girls are horrendously negative compared to voice, because hd materializes dramatically differently. And girls, as they get older, anxiety and depression turn into low self steam and self losing.

That happened to me. And the risk for self harm and suicide attempts four or five times greater. For girls with adhd.

this is not about having .

trouble with homework. This is not about remembering birthdays, because, unlike boys, girl's symptoms via inward. That's where the anxiety comes in.

That's where the depression comes in. That's where the eating disorders come in. That's where the self harm come in, is because you actually believe somethings wrong with you.

And here's what i'm here to say. There is nothing wrong with you. Absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, A D H D has a high correlation to being a successful entrepreneurs, being highly creative, to being a problem solving risk taker.

There is so much beauty in this, but you also need understand if you're dealing with a nearby ological disorder, which impacts your prefrontal cortex. Girls, symptoms are almost entirely internal, and they happen later. Most girls that have undiagnosed A D, H D, you know what they start to have on the surface. anxiety.

Because, of course, if you're going to go to school every day and you're disorganized and you make careless mistakes and you're hard on yourself and you start to tell yourself there's something wrong with you, of course you're going to feel anxious about going and that makes perfect sense, right? And that's exactly what happened to me. In fact, I was treated for decades for anxiety.

And I am sitting here telling you right now, I A hundred percent believe the issue I had all along was very simple. I had to sleep, I A and add, and nobody fucked and know IT. And instead I developed anxiety.

why? Because that's what happens when you have undiagnosed A D H D. And you don't understand why your brain doesn't work the same way as everybody else. You don't understand why you're always late, why you can't get IT together, why things are always a mess, whether is clutton around you, why you're constantly missing deadlines or doctors appointments or leaving your clinics on the counter, or you can't forget that I D like it's relentless. And so of course, anxiety would develop.

And i'm on a mission today to share absolutely everything that I have learned in my own deeply personal research, to be a Better mother of kids with A D. H. D.

And to be a Better partner to myself as I live my life as an adult with A D. H. And what i've learned is life changing.

There are things that you can do. There are very surprising science. And I need to say, right in front, i'm not a doctor. The purpose of this episode is not meant to diagnose you at all. I am here to entertain you with my story, and I am here to educate you based on my personal experience.

And I am here to empower you to know that this is a reality for so many women in particular, so that if IT rings true for you, you go seek the professional help that out there to get a very clear answer of what's happening for you. That's what this is about, because that's how you create a Better life. Are right when we come back, were going to start with your brain and add.

And then what we're going to cover a little bit later, are the six surprising signs of adhd and adults, all of which I had, all of which everybody missed. Don't you dare go anywhere. We will be right back.

Oh, i'm so excited to tell you about one of our sponsors or a friends. I love them. why? Because like me, probably took a million photos this year.

Oakly graduated from high school. Christian, I went on this unforgettable vacation together. Our family, they climbed ed mount katon where the photos, uh, Normally they be on my phone, but not anymore.

Why I have an ora digital photo frame. IT sits on my kitchen counter. I gave one of my parents, it's on their kitchen counter. I gave IT to candle who lives in a oakly up in his dorm room, or is a digital frame that looks and feels like a Normal picture frame. But check this out.

You just send photos to IT, and all the sudden your photos are right there everywhere, and IT updates all the time, and your family can update IT I free and love IT it's the best gift to give yourself. It's the best gift to give everyone else and for a limited time visit or a frames dot com and get forty five dollars off or as best selling cover mt frames by using the code mell a cheko that's A U R A frames 点 com promotion de mail。 This exclusive black friday cyber monday deal is their best to the year, so don't you dare miss out.

Terms and conditions apply as A B to be matter. You know how noisy the ads space can be. If your message isn't targeted to the right audience, IT disappears into the noise.

With linked in ads, you can precisely reach the professionals who are more likely to find your ad relevant. With linton targeting capabilities, you can reach them by job title, industry company and more. You'll have direct to build relationships with decision makers.

A billion members, one hundred and thirty million senior level executives and ten millions sea level executives stand out with linked in ads and start converting your B2B aud ience in the hig h lea ds. Today, what i've learned first hand is that linton can help you find the people who can actually move the needle for your business. I can't imagine working without IT start converting your B2B aud ience in the hig h qua lity lea ds.

today. You'll even give you a hundred dollar credit on your next campaign. Go to linton doc flash mail to claim your credit that's linked in docs flash ml terms and conditions apply linked in the place to be to be this show answered by Better help for me. December is all about cozy nights at home.

I'm talk in soft lankester t tea, sinking into the couch with my family nearby and the fireplace were n there's some about that kind of comfort that just feel so good, isn't there? But you wanted, know what, comfort doesn't have to be something you only feel for a month. And if I be an ice, the best gift i've ever given myself is the kind of comfort that comes from working on myself, especially through therapy.

It's a way to keep that cozy, grounded, wrapped up a blanket feeling all year long, no matter what life throws your way. So if you've been thinking about starting therapy, check out Better help. It's a super easy way to get started.

You just take a quick question, ae, to match you with license therapies and it's all online. You can switch therapies any time without any extra charges being find the right person for you. Fine comfort this december with Better help.

This is a Better help that comes like small Robin today to get ten percent off your first month as Better help each i'll be, that comes as more Robins. Welcome back, I melt Robins. And today we're talking adhd in women in particular.

And in just a second, we're ongoing to get to the six surprising signs of adult A D H D. But first, I really want to dig into what's happening in an A D H. D.

brain. And this comes from research from dr. Net holo. Well, IT comes from doctor amen. I know that huberman lab just did a bunch of podcast episodes on this, but this is how everybody talks about IT. So the good thing about adhd is that seems like the research that's been going on for decades is very conclusive about the prefrontal cortex and how adhd impacts on.

And just to remind you, because I want to make sure we invite everybody into this conversation, whether you're somebody that loves the P H D type stuff and you really understand the prefrontal cortex, or you somebody that never heard that term before, everybody is included in the male robbin's podcast. So the prefrontal cortex is basically a party, your brain that's behind your forehead, in what they call the frontal lobe. And your prefrontal cortex has the important job of switching between different neural networks that regulate your thoughts, your actions and emotions.

okay. So for example, if you've ever heard the term executive functioning, that term gets thrown around a lot. When kids are getting assessed for learning style differences for attention, executive functioning is also used to refer to your prefrontal cortex and its ability to act like a secretary to be able to switch gears and help you plan ahead and get organized.

Here is an example. Imagine you're packing for a two day business trip, executive functioning, or your prefrontal cortex. That's the secretary.

The kind of talk to is your packing that is OK. Okay, you're going be gone for two nights. So, uh, you probably need three pairs of underwear.

You're going to exercise why you're gone. yeah. okay. What's the weather like, oh, so I should use shorts, not sweat pants.

H, I should probably bring a pair of a socks. If I going to go for a long walk. If I want to go to plot dies, you're going to need the grapes, socks. That little voice in your head, that thing that's helping you plan.

You don't really notice, IT to you, that secretary, that your prefrontal of cortex, that is the act of executive functioning, pretty cool, huh? I like to think about the prefrontal cortex almost like an old fashion phone Operator switcher. You know where you see in the movies where somebody unplugs one court and sticks IT into another hole to connect things.

Another example that a lottery searchers use is an orchestra conductor or a teacher in a classroom, somebody that's responsible for quiet down a large number of people and then calling on, you know, a certain student. So I played the flu elementary school, and I remember the orchestra. Ductor was always like, tap, tap, tap at me.

So the first chair of the fu could play the the little stands a song singing my job. And again, everybody started. Thanks a lot. good. And that brings me back to your prefrontal cortex and the fact that its main role is to be able to switch between different neural networks, like an orchestra conductor, that regulate your thoughts, actions and emotions in your brain.

And that's important when IT comes to attention, because attention isn't just focusing on something the skill of attention requires your prefrontal cortex, because there are two very different networks and functions in your brain that you use at the same time while you're trying to focus and pay attention. So let's talk about attention, okay? Because one mistake that people make with A D H D is they think that A D H D means you can focus on something that's not what IT means.

A H D is the inability to direct and hold your attention in appropriate ways, in appropriate settings and situations that what that means. That's why you will often see kids with add that can play video games for hours. That was what our sun OK did.

I could literally be banging pots and hands behind this kid, and he wouldn't know that he was so focused, but he had an inability to direct that attention in appropriate ways, in other cases. And let me just use the example that I just gave you. It's not healthy that he was so focused on video games that he couldn't hear pots and pants.

And so let's unpack what attention is. So attention is a really important skill, right? You've gotto be able to pay attention if you want to be successful at work. If you want to learn new things, you need to be able to direct your attention. And in relationships, I mean, just think about IT.

There times where somebody's talking and your stomach cards, or you wanna to bite to eat, or you really don't give you that you want to on, or you want to interpret them, your ability to pay attention and suppress the urged and erupt them or yon or the excuse yourself. That is the scale of attention and it's critical for relationships. Otherwise, you're onna look like a root assets.

And so attention requires your prefrontal cortex to be able to switch between two neural networks in your brain. One of the neural networks is the part of your brain that is aware and paying attention to everything around you OK. All the noise around you and all of your thoughts and your feelings in your body.

So one neural network that your prefrontal cortex needs to control is the ability to all the noise around you and all the noise within you. And i'm going to bringing in an example that is used throughout the research with A D. H.

D. It's the example of an orchestra conductor. So your prefrontal cortex is an orchestra conductor. And I want to just bring in the sound of an orchestra warming up.

You hear all the different sounds and that you don't like an orchestra getting ready and unpacking and warming up. That's you in the world. And one thing that your prefrontal cortex does when he comes to attention is that lifts up the little sticks and IT points at the horns.

We are making too much noise and goes. This is called a top down function. IT is able to tap into a neural network to suppress, hey, horns, shut the .

help up and silence .

the noise outside of you, and silence the noise within you, your grumbling stomach, your thoughts about what you're doing tonight, so that the prefrontal cortex can then tap into the second neural network, which is the ability to raise up and focus and something specific, hey, strings, it's time for you. Let's magnify, amplify you. Because now the horns are quiet, we can now amplify the string section in here IT.

And so that's the network s that allows you if you crack open a book, you focus on the book itself, but you also focus on the words in your mind and what you're learning and processing as you're reading IT. So your prefrontal cortex, when IT comes to attention, has to do those two things, the of the distractions outside you and the grumbling stomach in you, so that you can turn toward what you want to cus on and direct your attention appropriately if you can switch between those two things of this and the focus, you can't pay attention. I can give you an example, because i'm realizing my parental cortex could not fucked and do this.

I went to dark with college, and they have this incredible library, Baker library. And I would always go to the stacks in the library to study, and I would Carry my stack of books, and I would Carry my notebooks and my pens on my highlights res. And I would commit to being there all day.

Came up on a study, I would sit down. And as soon as I sit down and crack open a book you wants to know what happened. I literally would be like, oh my god, I think i'm hunger.

I've got to go the bathroom. If do I feel like stunting? I'm not quite sure. And then I hear somebody walking like, who's that, Emily? Hey, amy, I was incapable of that part of attention that your prefrontal cortex needs you to do.

I was incapable of suppressing the sensation in my body, suppressing the monologue in my fucking mind, and tuning out and suppressing the noises around me. I would sit there for eight hours and distract myself because this core function of my profile, al cortex, didn't work, couldn't do IT. So of course, I had trouble paying attention, because I couldn't suppress my internal noise.

Because if i've got the book, cracked the open, and I can't be paying attention to what my voice is, think i've got to turn on the part of the brain that can now focus on the words on the page, right? My brain did not work that way. People with A D H D are missing a conductor that's working properly.

And that's what the experts mean when they say that you have a neurobiological disorder that affects the brain structurally and chemically, as well as ways in which various parts of the brain communicate with one another. IT takes a lot of mental fuel to quit IT that network in your mind. IT takes more mental fuel to activate a different network that helps you focus.

And so IT also happens for everybody with hd is you're not only spin in your wheel, you're also draining the energy tech doctor ayman, who's been on this podcast, one of the world's leading experts in the brain, has done over sixty thousand scans of brains. And when you look at anybody's brain scan, who has A D H D brain, what they find is there's not sufficient blood flow. The conductor can't work properly because it's not getting the blood flow that IT needs.

And he calls this a sleepy brain that your brain is not getting the blood flow, the doping, the a upper reference or whatever the help it's called because we all know I can't say IT. And that's why so many people with A D H D. Chase dopamine dumps like shopping or alcohol or any other addictive kind of behavior.

So what we're going to do next is i'm going to cover the six lesser known and surprising signs of adult hd. And more importantly, we're going to cover what you can do about IT. If you think this is you or someone you love, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

Have you noticed the experts on this podcast keep telling you and me over and over, if you want a Better life, you need Better sleep. And you can do that on an unsupportive, uncovered mattress that you've kept around for twenty years. I may think about IT.

You eat right exercise, you make a big moves in your life, and then you go and you flap down on a crappy, lumpy, gross matters. I mean, come on now. As you push through the craziness of the holiday season, feeling well rested is extra important.

Sleeping on the right mattress you deserve that matters. Firm knows the importance of undisc pt quality sleep and can matter you with the right mattress for your best rest. There are around.

They've got the top mattress in the game and the call part, if you see the mattress at a lower Price, matters formal match. But they get free fast deliveries. You'll be snoozing like a pro in no time.

A good night to sleep is the fuel you need to tackle everyday with energy and confidence. This is a gift you need to give to yourself. Get matched at mattress firm black friday sale and sleep at night.

Text mee to seven, six, six, six, nine, three for one hundred dollars off your next purchase at metro firm, exclusions apply. Let's talk about the special band you have with your pet. Don't you sometimes wish you could understand them well? No more gas work, pet tivy health kits and smart products, give your pet a voice and empower you to provide best care possible.

Imagine a little box that tracks your cat habits, and the text changes are an easy to use kit that does a deep dive. And to your dogs, got health petite ity handles at all. They use data and the latest and greatest technology to learn your pets behaviors and alert to potential problems that you can act on. Visit pet I B I T Y dot com to learn more.

What's like to get the new iphone sixteen pro with A T N T next up anytime? It's like when you first light up the girl and think of all the mouth watering possibilities, learn how to get the new iphone 7 with apple intelligence on A T N T and the latest cyphers every year with A T N T next up anytime A T N T connecting changes everything。 Apple intelligence coming fall twenty twenty four with theory and device language set to U S.

english. Some feature languages will be coming over the next year. Zero dollar offer may not be available on future iphones next up, any time feature may be discontinued any time, subject to change additional fees, terms and restrictions apply C A T T com flash iphone details.

Welcome back, I melt robbins. And today i'm talking about my, uh, diagnoses of v hd. How is diagnosed at the age of forty seven late in life, and what I have learned in last six years of digging into this topic, researching IT and learning as much as I can, not only to help myself and our two daughters, who also have a hd, but so that I could share this information, because I want as many people to understand this as possible.

So these were the six lesser known signs of adult adhd. Number one is hyper focus. And this was a surprise to me because I am never seen this in our son.

I'm like, i'm sorry, this kid d is not a hd. He just hate on work. I mean, he can sit laser focus in on his video games, so clearly he can laser focus in on homework.

That's not true. A surprising sign of add is the ability to hyper, hyper, hyper focus in certain settings, but not be able to pay attention at all in other settings. And this has to do with what's going on in your brain and your prefrontal cortex, in particular, when you have A D H.

D, which we will get to in a moment. But hyper focus is present for me. I can hyper focus and get lost in my work.

I can hyper focus when I have to give a speech. I can literally have like those blinders on that horses where the big cloud stales. I have tonal vision.

When I have to do something like that, it's like the rest of the world does not exist. Now when i'm done doing something like that, I have a complete collapse. I'm exhausted, my brain, the gas cake is empty, but I can hyper focus, which would make you thankful.

Then you don't have adhd. Well, here's the rub on IT. Add is not the inability to focus. That's not what IT is.

Adhd is a disorder in your brain that impacts your prefrontal cortex and the two jobs that the prefrontal text must do around attention itself. And we will get into this because attention is both being able to tune or suppress external and internal noise. And IT is also the ability to ramp up parts of your brain so that you can focus on something effectively.

And so it's way more than just paying attention to something. IT requires a bunch of switching in your brain in terms of which network your brain is using. And we're onna dig into that, don't worry. Second sign, that is a lesser known sign of adult A D H D, difficulty controlling your emotions.

Say that, again, difficulty controlling your emotions when you struggle with A D H D, you're using up so much mental energy trying to pay attention that there's no gas in the tank to be able to tolerate the emotions of being frustrated or tired. Guys are like, fuck this homework and they get physical and they go do something else. Women aimed at themself.

It's why I would snap at my kids all the time. It's why I would get this town of voice when i'm frustrated with something and I just can't deal anymore. It's why I would get really emotional with myself and erupt at myself.

Why the fuck did you forget her birthday again? What is wrong with you? She's her best fucking friend. Why when news about Christmas present yet?

Why do you leave everything to the last minute? You miss the deadline again? So being eruptive at myself as well, the third really surprising sign of adult adhd. And boy, do I have this one in spades. Imphal sive shopping and overspending.

It's like you're blind to IT and you get this huge rush for buying something and then all the sudden you realize that was stupid and you didn't need IT. And this has to do with what doctor amen, who's one of the world's leading experts on the brain, says is your attempt to stimulate your brain with a doping rush. So shopping isn't the only addictive behavior.

Lot of adults that have A D, H, D and its not properly being managed, have a problem with drinking drugs, other addictions, expulsive behaviors, all tied to the structural issue with the prefrontal cortex. The fourth surprising sign is timely. Ldh, time blindness, you're terrible as time management.

I am terrible as time management. I am constantly late. I keep myself on track with reminders on my phone. I am the last person to get in the car for her family.

I am always a minute late to the call as hard as I try to be on the time IT feels impossible to me. Another surprising sign is that many people with A D H D are actually very high functioning. On the outside, you look like a working holic.

You look very successful. Or if you're not working, you're just one of those people at super busy. But here's a thing, your busy ss and your workload sm is scattered all over the place.

And that desire to keep your mind busy is also due to the fact that you have problems in your prefrontal cortex suppressing the noise that is going on outside, and also the noise going on with your critical voice. And finally, this leads me to the big one. Adults with A D H D tend to be highly, highly, highly self critical.

You constantly beat yourself up for not being able to do simple things. You're worried that you're disappointing everybody. You're wondering why IT looks effortless for everybody else. But you and this is the default mode of what your own inner dialogue sounds like. Mellow Robins, I got all six.

Let me just explain some other ways, as played out in my life, because I think this, i'll give you an insight into what you may be dealing with if this is in fact you so in relationships, I was pledged, pledged for fifty years with feeling like i'm not a good enough friend, i'm not a good enough girlfriend, i'm not a good enough sister, i'm not a good enough mom or wife that I should have sent more care packages. Why can I remember birthdays? Why am I always missing the sign up date for school conferences for this, for that? Why am I always arriving late for pick up? You know, if I were Better at this, for a Better person like this, pledged me, blagged me.

And here's the thing, now that i'm diagnosed with that I still do this. Should if I don't put the systems in place. And what does that mean for me? Well, when IT comes to birthday, I feel like an asho when I miss somebody's birthday.

And so I spent an entire day cross checking facebook, which is where most people's birthdays are, and putting them on repeat in my google calendar. That worked sort of. But I realized when the thing goes off on the day of somebody y's birthday, IT just makes me remember to call them, to text them.

But there are people in my life i'd like to send a present to. So by fAiling again for a year, I realized I need to go a step further and put a week before notification that goes off. So I have time to actually get a present or a card in the mail.

And so you started to set up systems because you realize this is just not the way your brain works. It's just not wired to remember this ship. And that's okay.

That's okay. But I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

I just thought I was a shady friend. I just thought everybody else figured this out. But me, another thing, work.

When I look back at my work history, holy moly, I am a horrendous employee. Unless I am in an environment where I can move all over the place, I cannot work in an office. why? Well, because I can.

T I have this like problem where if my kids are two rooms away from me and they're listening to tiktok videos, it's as if they're bring them in my ears. I can't suppress that noise around me. And so any job that I had in an office, I wanted to die because I could hear everybody at all times.

I could hear the door, I could hear the elevator thing. I did not know that this was adhd. I just thought I had like super ears or something.

I thought everybody heard like this. And so when I think about the jobs where is really successful, I was moving around. Wareing loved waitressing, attending H. I loved for attending, working at legal aid.

When I was a criminal defense atterley for legal aid in one thousand and eighty four, as a Young lawyer, I love that job because I would start the day in my office. I'd walk across the street to the court at a hundred canal street. I'd be in court, pop around all day.

I'd be out to rikers. I'd be back to the office. IT was always changing. That was beautiful for my brain. What I do now, beautiful for my brain, no day is the same.

I excel in what we do now because I am working in a place that works for this kind of brain school. I've already explained, you, disaster. Absolute disaster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I got into darkness, so I scored really well in the S.

A. S. And I came for a tiny town of michigan. In fact, nobody had ever applied there.

But I was the queen of all nightless, the queen of progressanother ation. I can look back now and realize why I almost failed. This big engineering class at dark math is because there were four hundred kids in the class.

I could not pay attention. I couldn't organize myself. I was time blind. I, I, i'd missed out on so much because I was so busy thinking that I was a failure.

And why could I get this? And why could I organize? And why could I read on time?

I don't even know how I got through law school daily life, clutter everywhere, literally papers everywhere. Clean axes, blow my nose, put him on a counter over spending. Is this sound familiar? You can overspend a compensate for other things.

You feel bad about yourselves. You buy a new outfit or you forgot to take something to the dry cleaner, and now you don't have a dss to wear. So you ve got a quickly order address, but then you don't like the dress. This is my life. And then the credit card bill comes.

I should be the poster child for the container store because until we did the episode that we recently did about the clattering vers organizing, I just thought if I just bought more baskets and I made everything like pretty than I would be organza. I mean, IT just goes on and on and on. But I think the biggest thing for me, and why I wanted to talk you about this is because of the heightened impact of the negative self talk.

See, that's the thing that I was never able to suppress. Until recently, the critical, relentless voice harping in my ear, constantly criticizing what I wasn't doing, I had no clue this was related to a hd. The most important aspect of dealing with A D H, D for myself is not to make myself wrong for IT, and not to hate the A D H D.

Think about IT this way. If you got diagnosed with diabetes, does that help you to hate diabetes? No, the benefits now that I can address IT effectively and in a healthy way, far out away, having a Normal brain and on A D H D. brain.

And I wouldn't trade IT for anything, but I sure is how wish I would have not about this winter that would have held to me make way healthier and more or um empowers choices, particularly when I was struggling profoundness during college in our school. I'll just leave IT at that. If you understand IT and you know what IT is, you can empower yourself to live with IT and take proactive steps to embrace IT and to cope in a positive way.

The good news is there are so much you can do to support yourself. There are so many interventions and modalities that help whether you're going to explore medications, which i've done, which has been life changing. I mean, when I got diagnosed with a hd and I dung into IT and started researching IT, I immediately started tapering off anxiety medication because I like this, explains everything.

And I went on long acting atrial IT changed my freaking life. And I don't need IT every environment, like I don't take IT on the weekends because I am really care of the orchestras playing. And in certain environments, like whenever I have to give a keynote a address and i'm standing back stage, I would never ever take ata al on that day.

And here's why the adrenalin that I feel. It's the narrow a drin. That's another way you can say that word.

I can't say narrow up a reference or whatever the address renal and that hits your brain. The go, go, go of that IT makes the conductor work. I literally have blinders on.

And so the adrenal in that situation makes the switching of the conductor of my brain. Everything rmi, I don't even hear the event happening. I literally am so focused on what i'm about to go do that the environment provides the chemical release that stimulate tes my brain to do what I needed to do.

So stimulus have been wildly effective for me and effective for one of our kids, not all of our kids. And begs the question, why is IT that a stimulant is effective for somebody that has something in their brain that makes them figure or makes them distracted? What has to do with the blood flow and the neurotransmitters in your brain, which i'm not gonna explain you right now.

We will bring on a full expert like dr. 点 nett holo， well, who is the word leading expert on add? He's the goat, he wrote, driven to distraction.

We can bring on doctor ayman, who has scand all the brains and can tell you why so many people with A D H. D. Seek a doping dump, rush from overspending or drinking or some of the other kind of not so great behaviors. But we'll have an expert explain that. But one of the things that anything is really interesting is that it's important if you think that this is something going on with either a son or a daughter that you get this looked at by a professional.

Because studies after study in the last five years have said and concluded that children with add in particular, have far, far, far Better outcomes later in life if they are treated for a hd when their kids, and they think that this is due to the fact that the stimulus and the adjournment and the doping accelerate neuroplasticity. And so there are some theories out there that not only does IT have Better mental health outcomes, particularly for girls, because when you treat this properly, whether you're doing IT, you know, I think behavioral therapy, combination of medication, if that's the right thing, which can be tRicky, or other more natural supplements, if that's what you care about, caffeine, is that a lot of parents give their kids instead of some of the other stimulus, that's a deeply personal choice. But I think it's important to know the kids not treated with drugs and behavioral therapy when they have D, H D, have a higher tendency toward addiction and not great outcomes versus the kids with hd who are treated with drugs and with natural stimulus and behavioral therapy. And this is research in the last five years. I think it's important to say that i'm not telling you what to do, but in order to save .

your daughter from .

the profoundly negative impacts of A D H D on psychology and on anxiety and depression and eating disorders, this is something I wanted to take seriously and dig in to and learn about and get educated about in the best place to start as your pediatrician. If you're an adult going, oh my god, oh god, my god, god, my d my boss, my color friend, is ode. Attached to this episode, like all episodes, is a plaza of resources.

And one of the resources that we are going to link to is a self assessment. This is not how you get diagnosed with D H D, but this is how you can learn more about A H um and sort of the surprising symptoms and impacts so that you are more empowered to go seek something. And I would start with your general practitioner and ask them, uh, where to go that's the best place, desert or with a therapist.

You can also start with a lot of the online talk therapy platforms. And if you are between the ages of and seventy five, you may be in this generation of women who develop anxiety. Ty of your depression, we're needing disorder.

And you've always wondered what the hell is wrong with you. I'm encouraging you if any of this was resonant. Please go talk to your primary care doctor.

I feel like the gas tank of my brain is an empty, so I am gonna get up and go for a walk outside. I cannot wait to hear your reaction episode. I know that you're going to share your stories.

And I would love to do a ton more episodes about this. I want to talk about the medications out there and what they do and why and how they impact your prefer to cortex. I would love to dig more into non stimulant interventions.

Um okay, I love you. I don't want to forget to say that case. Nobody else tells you today the bleepers on this episode are going to be fucking amazing and they're coming next. All right, i'll talk to you in a few days.

The hello that all this is the fucking I may put that there goes the tree cutter. And here I was on a roll damage. Oh my god.

Welcome to my marriage. My husson decided right about now would be a great time to get in the tractor and move rocks. Oh my god, OK holds on.

Let me just call him and be like, could you possibly do this two hours from now? You know, he sees us recording. He was just in here.

So I think i'll just go outside the podcast window and with some rocks and here's why felt and ask he's moving those rocks for my planting bit. My husband never has his phone on him. I go asking if it's possible to do this later.

Doping and the neuro R D, the the F I can't say the dam word like neuro, no effort or no effort realy, or what. Have a hello, go. I said.

Oh, and one more thing I know, this is not a blue ber. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers, right? And what I need to read to you, this podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.

I'm just your friend. I am not a license therapies, and this pocket is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional. Got IT good. I'll see in .

the next episode stitch.

Running a small business takes endurance, determination and the right support to reach your goals. And master card is here to help fuel that journey in a fast pace digital world with innovative tools and resources, we are heard to guide businesses every step of the way because when small business wins, everyone wins, let's power of our communities. One small business and one step at a time, keeping the community running strong. Priceless.

Celebrity cruise is black friday event is so good you're gonna a bigger bucket list. Explore the kerival in europe or alaska was seventy five percent of your second guess plus bonus savings book today and see why nothing comes close to celebrity cruises is a celebrity dot com called one eight hundred celebrity or contact your travel advisor offer applies to select sAilings savings amount varies by state room category, other terms supply this is celebrity 到 com for details， ships registry, multa and equal.