The Science of Gratitude & 6 Surprising Ways You’re Getting It Wrong
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Is IT MC dot com flash gift guide. Hey, it's your friend, male, and welcome to the mall Robin's dcs. I am so grateful that you tuned in today. This morning was flicking crazy.

I came down in new york city and spent the night because I am really excited that the male Robin's podcast was selected by good morning amErica as the podcast of the month. So we come down from southern vermont. We spend the night hotel.

I am sound asleep. And at three forty eight in the morning, the freaking fire alarm goes off in the hotel, and it's so loud, it's like, and my first thought was, is that already six thirty? Because that's the time that i'd set my alarm for.

And I realized, oh my gosh, it's the fire alarm. And in my elementary school education, we went through fire drills so often. I don't know why we did, but there were constant fire drills.

And how many times did you have to stop, drop and roll? Like I literally thought, stop, drop and rolling was going to be a scale that I would use all the time in my adult life. So immediately, elementary school male takes over and IT as if the principal is coming over the loudspeaker.

And the hotel management is like attention. Ladies and gentman, the firework is going off. We are investigating. The new york city fire department is on its way. Please stay in your room and wait further instructions.

Who on earth is gonna stay in the dam room when that is happening at three forty eight A M and a high rise hotel in new york city? Well, tell a ml. Robin certainly is not.

So I scramble around my hotel room, and these days I sleep naked because i'm constantly having hot flashes, and so i'm soaking wet because I ve soaked the bed eat. Thankfully, I had laid out my exercise tight. I pull them on, I pull on A T shirt without a bra.

I put on my sneakers, I put on my favorite necklace, and I run out of my door. Now I do not get in the elevator because I have had training as an elementary school students that if you're ever in a fire in a building with an elevator, you do not get into the elevator. So I go down eight flights of stairs.

And when I pushed up in the door of the lobby, I startle the gentlemen that is working at the front desk. And I was surprised, was an already a party down there. As I was going down the stairs, I was thinking, i'm going to be late.

There's going be a ton of people down there were all going to be in robes and pjs. I gotta get IT down there, and i'm not smelling smoke, but I get down there. I am the only person in lobby, the only one out of an entire new york city hotel.

There is one person in the entire hotel who has decided to leave their room. And IT is melrose. The fire truck show up. And is the fire truck show up? And I was really cute, a family of six.

They had their kids and rollers, and I could tell they had gotten up in a hurry because shirts were inside out, and their shoes, you know, when you put your shoes on really quickly, they become almost like meals instead of sneakers. All six of them had on shoes like that. And then as the fireman start walking in a second, couple come down, tourists from australia.

And IT was at that moment that we heard the manager go, attention, attention. This is the hotel manager. Every friend is okay.

Thank you for your patient. goodnight. Now was IT. So I get in the elevator and I look in the mirror, the elevator, and you want to know what it's now like, four or six.

I'm wearing my exercise tight, not only inside out, but backwards. So the label is right on my study, facing out, and my t shirt is inside out and backwards. okay?

Thankfully, nobody was in lobby to notice. So I go back to bed. now.

What happens next while my alarm was off at six thirty? But i'm such a days that I don't even know if I heard IT. I don't know if I heard IT and turn IT off.

I didn't even remember waking up, and then I wake up again, and IT is six fifty five. And I realized, oh my god. I have registered for a pure bar class.

And IT starts in five minutes. And amy, who is my colleague, is probably waiting for me in the lobby. And so I immediately pull on my clothes.

IT is now six, fifty seven. I see amy's texted me, are you coming? I then texter, i'm running. Hold a spot, grab my socks and I go out the door. Now I am pannick. And here's why have you ever been to a bar, a class? A bar class is a very unique animal.

Because typically, if you are late to a bark class, you are treated as though you have been cut from a new york city by try out how dare you show up? Very strict, very precise. The studios have a very strict and precise staff.

And so i'm sprinting down to new york city blocks and I am not in any kind of running shape whatsoever. So i'm sweating. I'm huffing and puffing. I'm imagining a scenario where I roll into class five minutes late, the person at the front desk halt who goes there, no one goes in class, not you. Don't be late.

And so i'm going anyway, i'm going to try because I really want to exercise because it's going to help me do Better on good morning amErica this morning. And it's a big morning. And so I am hoping and pumping. I get to the building, I run up the second fighter stairs, I am fully out of shape and about to have cardio arrest at this point. And I go blowing through the front door.

And there is a human rainbow sunshine goodness sitting at the front desk and I will add that if jian, you know, from a query, if he had a doble ganger, he is sitting at the front desk and he has the biggest smile and he says, your friend amy is all waiting for you and i'm like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry he just had this ready and goodness IT was as if he put his arms energetically around me, like a beautiful blanket, warm and kind. And we walked toward the studio and he was just so loving his maconi. Here's your little, here's your thing and just pushes here all, let's put the tennis right here.

All in. Amy artigues set up the habit and do have, and I forgot a hab. Oh, honey, right here. And he was so calm and he was so crowding and so loving.

I was in the hands of somebody divine, and he put his arms around me and walked me into the exercise studio. And there was amy, and they had set me up, and amy had even bought me appear, those sticky socks. And they were rainbow socks.

Happy pride, everybody. I just felt so appreciative and so much love for not only amy, but juda, who had walked me in with his arms around my shoulder. I mean, wow, IT was the exact opposite of what I had been bracing for.

So after class, I was still buzzing with this appreciation for how he took care of me by the energy exchange, by the care and the generosity and his spirit that I had to thank him. And so I walk up to the desk and I asked him his name, and he said, I was juda. And I say, I am just so grateful for you.

You are warm and you're caring and you're so generous with me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are like a human ray of sunshine.

And when I said you are the human version of a rare sunshine, he just smiled wide and he said, oh, well, that's the name of my band, sunshine and the fox. I can make this stuff up. And we had this incredible back and forth.

I wanted to tell you that because what I experienced and what I express to jutta this morning is an example of what researchers call genuine gratitude. And genuine gratitude is what I had planned on talking to you about today all along. And here this story appears like a gift from the universe on the exact date that were going to talk about the topic of genuine gratitude.

I I just love this. And specifically, what I want to dig into is the difference between genuine gratitude and toxic gratitude. And here's the reason why you need to care about this topic because, number one, genuine gratitude, it's something that you need in your tool IT.

But here's what i've learned based on the research. Most of you are practicing gratitude wrong. And if you're practicing gratitude wrong, you're not getting the full effect of its power.

And you're going to learn that there are four specific parts to practicing genuine gratitude based on the research today. And then the second thing we're going to dig in to is toxic gratitude. I was very surprised to learn in researching the show that there are six forms of toxic gratitude.

And another thing that I was surprised to learn is that I have engaged in all six of them. And I shouldn't laughing about IT because the kind of grows I didn't realize IT. And that's why I wanted to share these six forms of tax of gratitude with you because I bet you're going to have some epiphanies about your own behavior or the behavior of other people.

And please, please, please stick around to the end because you know that story I just told you about bark glass and juda. Well, it's not over. I get hooked up when I think about the way the conversation ended.

What due to shared with me. And he has something that he wants to say to you too. But let's go back to unpacking genuine gratitude because I personally found the research around gratitude and what IT is and what IT isn't.

To be a helpful place to start before you and I jump into the six types of toxic gratitude that I certainly am guilty of engaging in, and I bet you're gona recognize some of them too. When you start to look into the researcher on gratitude, all roads lead to a guy name, Robert immense, and he's a psychologist in a professor at university of california, Davis. That research is gratitude, like that's what this guys known for.

And his definition of gratitude is that gratitude is a deep appreciation for what you have received. IT will literally require your brain when you do IT correctly. First of all, you're teaching yourself to scan the world for the positive instead of constantly scanning for the negative.

So for example, let's go back to my story this morning. When I was racing late to the bar studio, I was scanning the world for the negative, wasn't I? And what was happening, I was sweating, I was stressed, I was panting and hyper eventuated.

I was bracing for the worst. I was probably jacking up my court is all which created a negative experience of my body. Genuine gratitude is when you're noticing and appreciating what's happening around you.

And that triggers a positive chain of events. There are four different types of neurotransmitters that gets stimulated. IT also triggers the flow of na upper reference.

I cannot say this word. Na, upper. F, N, na. You know what i'm talking about, it's the energy hormone, and I cannot say that. Thank you, just lexie. And what happens when all of these feel good hormones and the neurotransmitter ors like doping, oxytocin and no repeat on whatever the hack is called, you still love me.

You feel common, you feel brighter, you feel more focus, which in turn makes you feel healthier and makes you feel happier and help with decision making and health. You with focus. And so there's such a profound chain reaction that happens in your mind, and that's exactly what I experienced this morning.

And the second that I started to feel this wave of appreciation, tor juda, and how he was taking carrey, I was expressing and feeling genuine gratitude. This is what the research describes. IT did shift how I felt my body.

I did feel common. I did start to focus and feel more focused on the positive about the class. I felt a deep level of connection to this person that I just met seconds ago.

Now one of the reasons why I wanted to talk about toxic gratitude in particular, is because gratitude to me feels like it's reached that jump the shark moment. And for those of you that may be too Young to understand the happy day's reference, IT just means that something has gone way overboard. It's no longer in. It's out.

You know how? I know when you walk into T. J. Max or home goods, and there are a bunch of pillows that have gratitude, mom, on the clearance rack, we've ve all gone way to overboard on the gratitude train.

And IT also means that we are not doing IT correctly, because gratitude is a deep, deep, deep experience and it's deeply personal. And I will admit you, I have in fact, bought a pillow off the clearance rack at home goods. Mind did not say gratitude.

They said thankful. So when we come back after hearing a short word from our sponsors, i'm going to explain the key difference between being thankful and being genuinely grateful based on professor emin's research at U. C.

Davis. And you're gonna, you want to know this, because IT will help you really understand the six types of toxic gratitude that you need to knock off, you need to know about. And then we've got three amazing takeaway for how you can cultivate a genuine gratitude practice based on the research.

And one more thing, because I am so genuinely grateful that you're here. I have a surprise for you today. I'm so excited.

I've been wanting to do this for a while. Listen all the way to the end because the mall Robin's forecasts now has blue verse. And why did I want to do this? Because I think it's fun to laugh at yourself.

We're doing in so much hard work here to try to improve our lives. Let's have a little fun and laugh at one another for me at the end of every podcast. I can't wait to hear what you think of what we'll be right back.

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Welcome back, I ml Robins. Today you and I are talking about the research that explains what genuine gratitude is, and the six forms of toxic gratitude that you need to stop doing in your life, right? So I promise that I would unpacked the difference between being thankful versus genuine gratitude.

Okay, you're ready. So being thankful, think about this is something transactional. This is sort of on the surface because if you're thankful, it's automatic, it's in the moment and it's sort of like good manners, right?

If somebody, for example, holds the elevator door for you, you're not grateful. You're thankful you say thanks. And the second the doors close, you forget that you said thanks, and they forget that you said thanks because they expect that you say thanks because they held the door open.

That is what this means to be thankful. It's transactional, it's automatic, it's momentary gratitude. Something else entirely genuine gratitude is when you are deeply moved.

When the emotion of appreciation, the emotion of being connected either to another human being or some larger force that you can't explain, the emotion lingers. And the other thing that's important about gratitude is that it's not expected in the moment from anyone else. And often times moments of genuine gratitude, they take you by pure surprise.

And the impact is lasting. It's like A A positive energy buzz. And so let's go back to the example this morning, juda. I was deeply moved by how kind he was.

I was so moved that even when I was in class and my quads were quivering and I was huffing and puffing, I was still thinking and feeling this emotion of appreciation for how I was welcomed late into the studio and how I was taken care of. And when I stopped by the desk and I called juda a human ray of sunshine, he wasn't expecting that. He smiled wide.

He might have been expecting to thank you. But no, I expressed this deep, deep emotion. And I think you can tell, because this happened just a couple hours ago. I'm still from the appreciation and the woman rush and uh oxy tosa and the upper forever in or whatever you call that IT is lingering and that's how I know IT is genuine gratitude and there is this connection that happens when you have a situation where you express genuine gratitude, you feel deeply connected to the energy of the other person.

And you're gonna feel that when you hear the message that juda has for you and the three take ways that he has for you about gratitude, let me give you one more example of being thankful versus being grateful. Let's say that you're in an area where there is a huge new storm and you have an elderly neighbor and you go over in the morning after shoveling your own steps in your own drive and you shovel the steps of your neighbor when you're done shoveling the steps. Can we just be honest with one another? You kind of expect a thank you bright, you'd be sort of like me, what a rude person if they didn't open up the door and say thank you or didn't wander over later and say thank you.

That's what I mean by the nature of a thank you. It's transactional, it's expected. That's not how gratitude works.

Gratitude is the woman opening the door and coming down and hugging you and putting her hands on your shoulders and looking you in the eye and telling you, the last time somebody shovelled my walk was when my son was alive. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful that you took care of me this morning.

You can feel the fact that he is deeply moved. You can feel the lingering emotion. You didn't expect that.

But you now have this lasting buz feel good thing too, don't you? That is genuine gratitude. When you cultivate those moments, IT changes how you move through your data day life.

That's why this is such a profound practice. And one of the mistakes that people make when they, quote, have a gratitude practice is they're really writing down things that they're thankful for. I'm thankful for my health and thankful for my kids and thankful for my job and thankful for this. I'm thankful for that that's not practicing genuine gratitude.

Genuine gratitude has four requirements based on the research, and you need these four requirements present in order to tap into the profound internal impact to get the chemical release, to get the flood that's lasting, that changes your mood and helps you feel more confident and connected to people around you. And those four requirements are, number one, IT has to be really specific. The thing that is trigger ing this flood of gratitude.

And so when you're write down that you're thankful for your health, you're thankful for your kids, you kind of do that on autopilot, don't you? You got to get really specific. The second things got to be present is there needs to be something deeply personal about IT.

And the way that you can figure that out is tapping into the third piece, which is, why is IT moving you? What is IT about the specific and deeply personal thing that moves you? And the fourth thing, and this is when you know it's genuine gratitude, it's not just a passing thing.

The feeling lingers with you. And so when you're writing down generic things like i'm thankful for the food right now, that's not specific enough. It's not personal enough.

It's certainly not tapping into why that moves you and it's not gonna leave a lingering emotion because the second you start eating the food that you're thankful for, you're gona forget the gratitude that you wanted to feel. Genuine gratitude is deeper, is filled with emotion. IT lingers.

I'll give an example and it's kind of weird, but is bear with me. I am so grateful for my daughter who always calls me out on the ugly clothing that I wear, even though I hate hearing IT in the moment because SHE wants me to feel and look my best. I say that because my daughter picked up my off and a good morning america, and I kind of second gear, but SHE was right.

So i'm sitting here very grateful because I got a lot of compliments on my bell bottom genes and my red shirt that I worked a good morning amErica today. And I have a lingering buzz about IT. Now let's talk toxic gratitude.

Yes, there is such a thing is toxic gratitude. It's when you use gratitude in a very negative way. And i'm going to walk through the six examples of this.

After we hear a short word from our sponsors, they allow me to bring all this to you at zero cost. And so i'm you very thankful for responsable, and I am grateful that today is the inaugural podcast episode with bleepers all the way at the end. All right, stick around.

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That comes a smell ABS. Welcome back, I ml. Robins. And today we're talking about genuine gratitude and the six types of toxic gratitude that we all engage in, including years, truly. And here's how we're going to do this first time to tell you what all six are. And then i'm going to go one by one and explain them.

And i'm also going to share with that, take a way that you need so that you can stop doing this, okay? And it's all based on the research, are going to love this. So the six forms of toxic gratitude is when you use gratitude to only focus on the thing that's going well in your life, but you completely ignore the big messes.

The second way that you use gratitude in a toxic way is when you use gratitude to manipulate or shame other people. The third way is when gratitude becomes a justification to do nothing and to stay stuck where you are. The fourth way that gratitude gets toxic is when gratitude is away to escape uncomfortable emotions that you don't want to feel in yourself.

The fifth way the gratitude becomes toxic is when you start pushing positivity, another people, because you don't know what to say, so you say something positive. And the final toxic form of gratitude is when you use gratitude as a way to knock yourself down when you're accomplishing something. And so let's unpack them all and then give you to take away, take here.

Number one, toxic gratitude is when you only focus on the things that are going good in your life, and you are so over focused on what is a blessing and what you're grateful for, that you ignore the gigg antic should show of a mess that is right behind you. And the perfect example of this is that friend of yours who is constantly posting only the most beautiful lovey davy k. Feed on the beach photos of them, and they're significant other grateful, blessed love of my life.

And yet, every time you see this person, they spend three hours bitching about what's actually going on. That right there is a form of toxic gratitude, because you are grandstanding the good part of your life and you are lying about what's going on. When gratitude is genuine, IT gives space for the negative, genuine, deep felt.

Gratitude acknowledges the painful, the broken, the messy part, in partnership with the beauty, with the lessons and with the hard work. And when you only have one of those things present, it's not genuine gratitude. And so instead of posting the absolute beautiful, most incredible, phenomenal things, don't post anything if you can't post the truth.

I'm not suggested you air everything out like dirty laundry on the internet, but you could certainly post photos. Love this person, because through the upside downs, we always tend to work through IT. And that's the sign of somebody that I want to be with. That's way Better than the polish filtered photos. Anyway, that's the message we all need, and it's the truth.

And aren't we all grateful when we see the truth expressed from other people? The second form of toxic gratitude, and this is one that I am so guilty of IT does not, uh, make me proud to admit this to but it's when you use gratitude like a sledge hammer and you shame and you manipulate other people, this type of toxic gratitude was the way people parented for generations and it's the way that I used to parent. And it's something that i'm really working on, which is you basically in val people, you cooked dinner and you put dinner out for your family.

And your family, I need that. And what do you say you should be grateful that you have anything on your plate at all, right? Or the kids lose their soccer match in the semi finals and they get in the back of the car and they are crying and they're sad and you can't deal with IT.

And so you're like, we should be gratefully you made IT this far. I mean, that's a really good thing or like I did the other night you know OK we hosted the palm party. You'd think you'd be grateful enough, for crying out loud to help me load the dish washer.

oops. Do not use gratitude to shame somebody, to blame somebody, to get somebody, period. You know it's wrong. I know it's wrong.

I still do IT why? Because that's how everybody parented for a long time in a transactional way in A, I expect this from you. I gave you this.

You gave me that that's not genuine gratitude. What I was expressing was resentment. That's my gratitude. So don't use the word gratitude in those cases. Third form of toxic gratitude is when gratitude becomes a justification to keep you stuck in a place that makes you unhappy. And i'll give you two specific examples.

Lot of you right into the male bs podcast complaining about your jobs, and then you put in the sentence, you ready? I'm just grateful to have a paycheck and a story. And the reason why this is toxic is because if you hate your job and then you end the sentence with, but i'm grateful to have a paycheck, are you motivated to change your job? no.

Or have at this example, you're in a relationship, or you can think about a friend who's in a relationship and they are with somebody that drag them down with somebody that they are complaining about. But what do they say to you or what do you say to yourself? Well, i'm grateful that I have somebody or well, at least they're Better than so on.

So you know significant other, i'm just grateful i'm not dating a loser like he is. Hold on a hand. So you're using gratitude to justify that you're lowering your standards.

Here's how you change this. If you find that you're saying why. I'm just grateful that I have this.

I'm just grateful that I have that. But you don't like what you have, your shaming yourself staying. So I want you to add in the truth here how this works.

I am grateful that I have a paycheck, and I deserve to work somewhere where I feel appreciated. And so gonna start looking for a different job to see how different that feels. And one way we might supersize this is let's just not use the word gratitude or grateful at all.

Let's use thankful because it's more transactional, right? I'm thankful that I met this person and that I was in a relationship with this person. And I deserve to be with somebody who brings out the best to me.

And so i'm gonna end this. Do you see how different that feels? Two things can be true. At the same time, you can be thankful for the paycheck, but you can acknowledge that you deserve more.

You can be thankful that somebody was in your life, and you can acknowledge that they're no longer your person. And IT doesn't mean there are a bad person, but you deserve somebody else and somebody else might be the single you. And so you're acknowledging that two things are true at once.

And a lot of times with toxic gratitude, you're only looking at one thing, and that brings me to the next one. Lot of us use gratitude as a way to escape uncomfortable emotions that we don't want to talk about or we don't want to feel. I'll give you a quick example.

Have you ever noticed that when somebody dies of cancer, or they die after a long struggle, that the phrase that people say when they died like that is i'm just grateful they are no longer suffering. Now here's why this can be problematic, what you are actually feeling or two things, right? Yes, it's true.

You're grateful or thankful that they're no longer suffering. And i'm devastated that my father's gone. You see, that goes clink.

Why does this matter? I'll tell you why IT matters. Because IT is critical for your mental health that you acknowledge and validate the uncomfortable emotions that you're feeling.

IT is critical for your resilience that you speak about and that you name the heartbreak, the pain, the grief that you feel when we all walk around like OK, i'm fine. I'm just grateful they're no longer hurting. I'm grateful that we're not fighting anymore and that they ask for the divorce.

I or not, he just asked for this divorce last night. You ve had fourteen hours to process this. You're already telling me you're no, you're not great for knock that shit off.

Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Don't quickly jump P A gratitude. Right now you ve got to talk about all the things that you're feeling.

Gratitude may be one sliver of the seventy six emotions at your feeling. This just happened to me couple weeks ago. Somebody called me just in a complete breakdown and said that her husband had asked for a divorce.

And in the telling of the story, every time SHE got herself worked up emotionally, SHE would quickly grab gratitude. But i'm grateful. And I said, no, you're not. You're not ready to be.

You're in the tsunami of emotions and when somebody grabs gratitude too quickly, I go, oh, you are drowning in the emotions and this is a way to keep your head above water and that's okay but acknowledges that you're doing IT. And please also acknowledge the scary things that you're feeling, which is person did, but you gotta a, be careful, I I don't think you're ready for gratitude. Twenty four hours after a divorce, a break up, a death, an accident, any of IT, you have to give yourself time to process IT.

And interestingly, the research shows that the more that you face your negative emotions, the more that you talk about your uncomfortable feelings, the faster they pass. And so by using gratitude as your just climb this mountain rate in front of you, you are missing out on the benefit of talking about the struggle and talking about your fears and talking about the wave of uncomfortable feelings that arising up. And it's gonna the climb harder the longer you do that.

And so make sure you put your arms around all those awful feelings that you have and you talk to people about them because that's how you're gna process them. And that is an appropriate and mentally healthy response. Two, the things that are scary in life.

You know, let me stop on that rocket. When you're going through something hard, you are mentally well when you express the uncomfortable emotions. If you're going through something like heartbreak k or you've just lost your job.

Yes, IT sounds Better to go. I hate that job anyway, thank god, is that is. But we know that you feel ashamed.

We know that it's embarrassing to get laid off. I've been laid off a bunch of times, have been fired once. It's embarrassing.

Even if you wanted that to happen, there's still a humility aspect and a humbling aspect to that process IT. Otherwise you're just kind of engaging in toxic gratitude to post you and to try to move through IT without facing IT. And that's I gona help you.

The fifth way that gratitude turns toxic is when you push positivity because you have no idea what to say to somebody. So for example, if somebody tells you that they have cancer and you immediately go, you're gonna beat IT because you don't know what else to say. Or somebody says to you that they just had to declare bankrupcy stay positive, you're gonna OK.

What the research shows is that when you push positivity, they feel like their emotions aren't valid. They feel like you don't get IT. How could you know if i'm going to beat this cancer? You're not me.

Yeah, maybe a ton of other people have, but I don't know. It's gonna en. So the Better thing to do is instead of forcing positivity, it's OK to say, that fucking socks, that's what I always say to people that have that sucks.

You don't deserve this and then I say, the only thing that I know that's true, you're not gna go through this alone because I don't know what's gona happen and I don't have anything positive to say except for you didn't deserve this and you're not going to go through IT alone. And I stole that from adam grant and shared sambo, who wrote plan b option, be a camera with me with a book, but will link to IT. And please do not use gratitude to take away your accomplishments and the fact that you work for them, you deserve them.

Do you know how many times I hear people say when they get to a big meeting or get to an event that they deserve to be at? By the way, i'm so grateful that you brought me every minute. You deserve to be here.

This is not a moment for granted. You can thank me for inviting you to this thing, but you deserve to be here. That's why you were included.

And in fact, you deserve to be there, probably when you weren't included. You know, this is going to sara ly, weird. But i'm not grateful for my success.

why? Because I work my fucking ass off for IT. I've slept on coaches. I've caught my way out of bankrupcy.

I work weekends and nights, and i've put in the work for over a decade. I'm not going to be grateful for this because IT diminishes the responsibility that I took in creating this. Now i'm profoundly, genuinely grateful that you're here with me.

I am profoundly, genuinely grateful for the messages that you send, for the walks that you take with me for the time that you give me. IT just is moving. It's what gets me out of bed. It's what drives my work ethic.

But when I think about the things that i've accomplished, I want you to own that and I want to give you a little inspiration because I keep waiting for somebody to walk into one of these awards ceremonies like the Oscars and the grammys, and be like, it's about damn time that you gave me an award I deserve. I deserve my favorite acceptance. Talk of all times was by snoop dog, hollywood walk of them, two thousand and eighteen.

This is what he said. I want to thank me. I want to thank me for believing in me.

I wanted thank me for doing all this hard work. I wanted thank me for having no days off. I want to thank me for for never quit.

No, there is no talks of gratitude in that he is taking full responsibility for what he worked for and for the results that he created. Now i'm not saying that he didn't do IT without help, but we've tipped the scales too much and being so grateful for everybody else. And I want you to turn IT back on yourself and use genuine gratitude to lift yourself up.

Use genuine gratitude, as doctor even says, look backwards and acknowledge in the past all the chAllenges and the mountains that were there in front of you that you scale, and then feel the appreciation for yourself and for anybody else or any of the sync, chronically moments that happened that allowed you to scale those chAllenges and learn those lessons and be who you are today. That is genuine gratitude. Stand in the present moment, like I did this morning, and notice, as it's happening, how other people or the forces at large are there to support you.

It's like this force field of good vibrates around you and magnifies this beautiful thing called life. And remember how I told you there was more of the story? Well, let's go back to that story.

Because after that amazing moving experience of being so taking care of and feeling just this rush of genuine gratitude, I get to the studio over a serious exam, and I decided on a win. You know, I just gonna look up the meaning of the name juda. Well, juda, when you look at up, what you will see is the word praise, praise, praise, praise.

And then when you dig a little bit deeper, what juda means is, thank you. I thank you that is so deep that IT is anonymous with gratitude, I have chose, I have chills that that's what happened this morning on the exact day we are planning on having this episode happen. Isn't that incredible? I had an experience of genuine gratitude with a man whose name means thanks so deep.

It's anonymous with gratitude. Not only can you not make this stuff up, I actually believe these things happen for a reason, and it's why you need to be awake and aware in your life. And i'm so grateful every time one of these sink rena cities happen, and that I can share them with you, but you gotta a be willing to notice happening in the present moment.

That's the powers syncline ity. And that's also what gratitude helps you tap into. It's like that little moment when the light turns Green at just the right time and the wave of appreciation that you feel that you didn't miss the graduation ceremony because there was something you couldn't explain about how traffic lifted.

You're just feeling appreciation for IT. And when you started to practice IT in the present, you can use genuine gratitude to acknowledge it's going be really hard to break up with this person you love. That is, boy, oh, haven't we all avoided that one like the playing guilty of charge right here?

Leverage genuine gratitude for yourself, knowing that even though this is gone to be painful, that you appreciate that you're willing to have the courage to be honest with yourself and them, and that you appreciate knowing that down the road you will look back on this very, very chAllenging moment, and you will understand why IT needed to happen. And that brings me to the final piece of the story. From this morning, I was buzzing so much, not only after my interaction with you do, but after I looked up the spelling of his name and the meeting behind IT, I was like, what that i'm like?

There's something going on, and I gotto reach out. I just have to reach out and connect with him. And that's when he shared with us that one of the reasons why he was so grounded is because when amy walked in, he was writing down what he was grateful for.

But IT went way beyond that. So I asked you to, what are the top three things that you do in order to cultivate com grounding, grateful, positive energy that you display this morning. And I know you're gonna love what he's here to share with you.

Good morning. This is due to Frank and I had the pleasure of meeting amy and mill this morning for a brief but lovely and chaotic interaction.

So the question that you ask me is how I stay grounded in a chaotic environment, aside from actually physically grounding, like on a beach or on a hike with bare feet, sending the energy through the heels of your feet to the earth, back up through your body, and then neutralizing any negative energy that you might be caring with you. Aside from that, I just do my best, which is one of the four agreements which I love so much. I do my best to live my life intentionally.

And I recently heard that if you have a strong enough, why then you can withstand anyhow. So for me, my why that gets me through every day with the sunshine I disposition is my music, the sharing of my music and my message with my band, sunshine in the fox. And our collective way in our group is to be a super force of love.

So that was all I was doing today, just doing my job, just being a super force of love. So I hope you guys enjoy your rainbow socks and um thanks so much for reaching out and connecting with me. I hope you guys are .

having a terrific 哦 my god， don't feel as well of lingering positive energy do to thank you and the name of our band, sunshine in the fox. Well, there's one more thing IT turns out that they have a song that kind of goes with this episode. And the song is entitled I am and I can check this out.

Oh, my god, I love IT. I am straighten. You do not want to hear me sing, but I am gratitude.

I'm genuine gratitude. IT is just deep appreciation while acknowledging the reality of what's going on. And toxic gratitude is either escaping the reality or manipulating other people.

We're only focusing on the good thing without acknowledging reality. And the reality is, I deeply appreciate that you chose to listen to this episode with me today. I am deeply, genuinely grateful for you.

And that's why, why, why? Why is you? And that's why I am here twice a week, every week, to remind you that I love you and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to tap into the power of genuine gratitude and to use IT to create a Better life. All right, i'll talk to you in a few days.

The molecule of motivation neuro epple, I cannot say this one neuropace neo, upper F N nor upper upper ef. Narrow a reference, oh my god, na refried I just say first np reference, no reference? no.

OK, yes. Oh, and one more thing I know, this is not a blue per. This is the legal language.

You know what the lawyers right? And what I need to read you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend.

I am not a license therapies, and this pocket is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapy or other qualified professional. Got IT good. I'll see in the next episode stitcher. Experiences make life more meaningful, and with mastercards Priceless that com, you can immerse yourself in unforgettable experiences in dining, sports, art, entertainment and more in over forty destinations.

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