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cover of episode Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead

Get Out of the Cycle of Debt and Choose Peace Instead

2024/12/5
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Dave Ramsey
帮助数百万人摆脱债务和实现财务自由的著名个人财务专家。
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Dave Ramsey建议一位因与债务清算公司合作而导致贷款违约的听众,停止向债务清算公司付款,并通过YRefi公司重新融资学生贷款,同时通过与信用卡公司协商一次性结清欠款来解决信用卡债务问题。他强调了债务清算公司的危害性,并建议听众制定预算,并通过积极的债务偿还策略来解决债务问题。 Todd描述了他的债务困境,包括学生贷款和信用卡债务违约,并寻求Dave Ramsey的建议。他表达了对与债务清算公司合作的后悔,并希望找到一种负担得起的还款方式。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

How can I resolve a defaulted private student loan?

Refinance the loan through a company like YRefy, which specializes in refinancing defaulted private student loans. They buy the loan at a discount, enabling them to offer lower interest rates and more manageable payment plans.

What's the best approach for handling defaulted credit cards after using a debt settlement company?

Stop paying the debt settlement company immediately. Create a budget and negotiate lump-sum settlements directly with each credit card company. Aim for a settlement of around 25% of the owed balance. Two crucial rules: obtain a written agreement before paying anything and never provide electronic access to your bank account.

Should I buy a house while separated but not yet divorced?

No, wait until the divorce is finalized. Buying a house while separated can complicate the divorce proceedings, as the property becomes part of the marital assets. Rent a place until the divorce is final to avoid potential financial and legal entanglements.

I earn a good salary but struggle to save. How can I improve my financial situation?

Create a detailed written budget and track your spending meticulously. Be mindful of emotional spending during challenging times. Prioritize saving a specific amount each month and consider increasing your income through additional work.

Should I keep a spare vehicle for backup after buying a more fuel-efficient car?

If you're focused on building wealth, sell the spare vehicle. The costs associated with maintaining and insuring an extra car can hinder your financial progress, especially at a younger age. Focus on building wealth now, so you can have a spare car later.

Should I sell my rental property or hire a property management company?

If you're tired of managing the property, consider selling it and investing in a less hands-on option like a Real Estate Investment Trust (REIT). While a property management company can handle tenant and repair issues, vacancies and major repairs will still be your responsibility.

My step-sister believes I should share my inheritance with her. What should I do?

You are not obligated to share your inheritance. Be kind and empathetic, but firmly explain that the inheritance was your father's decision. Offer emotional support but do not feel pressured to give away your money.

Should I help my boyfriend pay off his student loans before we get married?

Absolutely not. Do not pay off his loans before marriage. His refusal to marry you until his loans are paid is a red flag. If you want a healthy relationship, get married first. Then, as a married couple, you can decide together how to handle his debt.

Should I gift my daughter and her husband money for a house down payment?

Yes, if they are financially responsible and debt-free, gifting them money for a house down payment can be a wonderful gesture. Make it a special occasion, communicate your intentions clearly, and consider seeking tax advice to avoid gift tax implications.

How can my fiancé and I improve our debt-to-income ratio?

Get married. Until you are legally married, you are not financially tied to each other. Once married, combine your finances, create a budget, and follow the Baby Steps to pay off debt and build an emergency fund.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

Hey.

you guys that cyber monday deals are here.

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Christmas gifts that won't buy your budget right now at rams, these solutions dot com slash store.

Live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions. It's the ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. P hd and counselling number one, best selling author and host to the docker john the loney show on the razing networks.

Please mico host today. Open forms here, a triple, late. Eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. Well, it's efficient.

Now we get to start saying merry Christmas, right? I mean, some people start just before halloween, and then others start right after labor day. But I think we're close enough now we can officially say merry Christmas .

IT was the day after thanksgiving, my son and I were going on hunt and news. Four A M in every channel had Christmas uzza on IT. And I was half a sleep when I said, I can't take this and he said, dead hit his half of sleep.

Ess, the happiest time of year. And IT, yeah, it's too early for Christmas. Music.

too early, so not even up. Tods and boston mah, hi todd. Welcome to the ramsa show.

Thanks, really appreciated.

How can we know?

So um I just learned a few a few days ago, my sister this is too religiously and told me actually call you grading my situation OK. So earlier this year, I want with the dead element company to handle much of my debt, which primarily student loans and credit cards. Um unfortunately, just recently, I want into defauts with one of my student loans and that is through navan which is now mohel and what they offered me was something that outside of my budge um and my father is a code sign on the loan as well. And i'm just trying to find out of ways of how I can something with not being to help me make the payment that I can afford um or what are the avenues .

I can take so this is a federally insured student loan.

right? This is, this is a signature student loan.

They all have secure, all have chores. Is that .

private vit?

Oh okay, alright, good news. okay. All right. Um well lucky for you, we have actually a sponsor that refinances privately defaulted, privately held student loans. So they'll buy IT from navies and um refinanced and set up where you can make the payments. You get .

a pencil yeah 我们。

yeah 各位 hi why refine the letter Y R E F Y that come? And so i'll go and give you the mechanics because they've been advertising with this for a while and we send people over there.

But the mechanics are they buy the loan because it's defaulted at a discount and then they so they don't have full face in IT, they pay less than that because, you know, because you're not paying IT, you're not credit worthy, right? So this not a lonely ly bi would want to buy that the guys, that the guys dead beats known IT, right? So they're gona buy at a discount.

And then that enables them to restructure IT and put an interest rate on IT that's low and they still end up making good money on IT. But you get the deal the century. So it's a win.

It's a win, win for everybody, even navia. And I really don't care about navia never what I try to help them win with anything. But but IT turns out they get money on alone that they thought was bad.

So they're happy. What ref, I buys IT at a discount and then you are paying them at a reasonable interest rate so they're happy and you get a payment you going to forward so you're happy. So that parts taken care of.

Now the rest of this um basically what these dead settlement companies have done, I can do and I did to you is they quit paying all any of your payment. So all of your credit ds are in the fault, right? Most the me no we should all be. How did you pay payments to the death element company?

I direct you .

how many um .

I since may um so I say probably close to six or seven payments.

They haven't paid any of your credit cards since you signed up with them until they work a deal with each credit card company. And again, they're in default. So they're going to bargain with them.

They if you weren't in default, they put you there. That's why we tell people not to use this companies because it's actually does more harm your credit than even final chapter of thirteen bankrupcy. So how many credit cards do you have.

right?

And what is what is the total baLance of credit .

or debt with all those just shy of thirty five grand?

okay. And what do you make, sir?

Uh, I make per month that pay and make, uh, just over six grand a month.

Okay, are you married?

I am okay.

SHE worked out at the home.

He does.

What does he make?

Uh, SHE probably makes worse than what I do, i'd say.

about grand OK get like ten in a so we had to be able clear up thirty five prety quick once we get a crap together. agreed. okay.

So yeah, this is awesome. So what you quit paying at the settled company, just just up out no more money. I'm going to take the navies i'm to take to verify, and i'm to take his four credit cards and work on myself.

Now here's what you're going to to do because they are all in default. You have to lump sum, no payments, lump sum, sell each one of them. So what I want to do, I put on a budget, you and your wife working together, you're married, and we have to clean up this freaking mess that we have.

We're going to get the student loans on a payment. We're going to quit making payments to the death settled company. We live on beans and rising beans because the stress of this is overwhelming.

And IT needs to be out of my life. I can't build wealth in the middle, and I make ten grand a month. We ought to, when you know, yeah, okay.

So sounds like you with me on this, good. So now we're gonna get on the budget. We're gonna you up for a finance for financial patient university and show you how to hand money and a put you in every dollar.

Now here's the way you work. The the dead off on the credit cards. Take the smallest one, what is yet you know .

yeah small. This one is shy for grant.

okay. So um you need to put together in your budget a thousand dollars, fifteen hundred dollars and call the smallest one. Understand that credit card collectors are the dommage humans on the planet, and you can tell their lying.

If their mouths is moving, they would have a good job. If they weren't, that's a horrible job, is a high turnover job. So you're going to be talking to people whose parents are cousins are right? So you got IT.

I mean, you got got to understand this because it's work. I work. No, no. And so you're going to try to talk to him and they're just hang up and then you ve got to go talk to him and again, so i'm offering you fifteen hundred dollars as settled in four and you keep beaten that drum until you get to take IT and say, if you don't take IT, i've got other cards.

I'm going to take this money, go to one of the other cards so you ve got about five seconds right now, four, three, two. Are you going to take IT because some hanging up and you just got to have some fun with this? okay.

It's going to take like ten, fifteen phone goals per card and you'll settled him for a quarter on the dollar. Lab, some do hear the two rules. Remember, these two rules do not give them any money unless you have the agreed amount.

In writing an email is fine. It's gotto be in writing from the credit card company or from the collections agency, whatever IT is that they are accepting fifty hundred dollars a settlement and full on the four thousand debt. And then not one number one, no money, not in writing, no money, a lie.

The second thing is no electronic access to your checking account. We'll just get from your account. We'll take four thousand of account. No, you should have a prepaid debit card that has just that amount only on IT.

And then you go get a different prepaid debit card for the next one and you keep them out of your account and you don't deal with them. Accept and writing, and you treat them all like the crooks because they are hope that helps this the show you want to leave happy memories for your loved ones. When you pass away not a mess, your family will be grieving.

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After you join the loni ramsa personality is my cohoes today number one best selling author p hd and counselling Lucy, whether Lucy in richmond, Virginia. I Lucy, how are you good? How are you Better than I deserve?

What's up? I've got a real hit scratch for you. I was wondering if you could give me vice on a financial decision that i'm trying to make um a single mom of four children and I wonder if I can purchase a home with going through a divorce.

Can see you the process are becoming a single mom with four kids yeah.

what do you .

make on i'm good. I'm made fifty plus ars an hour, but i'm more compared now i'm going through marital issues .

and safford .

anyways on.

So obviously you are separated. Has the .

divorce .

been filed? No, why?

Because I have an appointment next week with the other, the lawyer because the world, you said he was the comfort of to hear my case. So i'm pursuing that. He has got that lawyer and i'm going through another lawyer and started ever again.

Yeah, okay, good. yeah. So, uh, no, you should rent until you get this final because if you buy something in the middle, divorce is gone to throw that property into the middle of divorce discussion because you'll still married.

yes.

And so you you need to wait until the divorce final.

Okay, alright. So with the worst final within, whatever, and I have another issue, are two at the party, because I have read your book and ask, put paid off my mortgage in five years, and what do I do with this property that I live at? Nail, I paid one hundred and fifteen thousand hours. I paid off in eight years.

Well, is, is, is, is your husband to have claimed to IT your x you're going to split the split .

the estate i'm going to try because I was my money that went into the estate and I know that you say mary two equal but he didn't contribute anything to that will depend .

on Virginia law and I don't know the law on Virginia. Okay, they may force to split IT with them anyway I don't know but obviously you're going to ask for um and have receipts improve that he didn't pay on IT, you paid on IT and so did you didn't own IT before you were married?

Um we bought IT like three month after we mark.

So it's it's marital property and you will have to talk your of a journey about that. So what I want to do get get clear of the divorce and then you'll know what you own and you you know how much money you have got this result to put into the next deal. So you can take that house and the other property solum put that big, put the part of money you get from that out of the divorce in a pile, puts some other money with IT in by your house. But you need to be clear of this so that the same problem you're getting ready to have with this house, you don't have with a new one, which is arguing .

over IT when not well, it's best the hit gratcher I live rap the side of his parent .

don't care yeah .

and i'm ready to get out of IT but I want my money that I could into ton't .

take one of the things .

always tripped up when they enter into a divorce is they have an imaginary number that they think they're gonna get. And it's almost never that number. It's almost never even close to that number. And so then people think they're getting screwed. And really, they made up a number.

So in your head, like you're talking to me and dave, you bought a house as a married couple and you might have married a deadbeat who did nothing and he was a joke and a crew and not, but the court will say you'll bought that house together. And so in your head you might be thinking, I get one hundred fifty thousand dollars in these cells and i'm gonna go buy a house, you make IT sixty five. You make IT seventy five. And if you i'm just telling if you know, if you until .

this is done.

you going to cause yourself more x by maginness what .

comes in next? I'm saying you don't know. To answer your question, you can need to sit right there until the divorce is final and the divorce degree will tell you, the judge will tell you what's happening with the house you're living in, in the other property. And then based on that, i'm selling that house if you're going control over IT, you obviously don't want be next door to his parents when you want to leave and we want to take our cash and go start a life chapter two .

on core yeah and I I think the man, if I could tell people one thing when they going through something heart, but it's a divorce, something just passed away. Is slowdown or do anything for six months? Don't think for nine months if now if you've ttl get away from mom and that go to place but don't do anything per minute for sixty nine.

one after after in the middletown right now, you need to do something. You need to go get attorney and you need to get this file and you need to start learning about what law is in your state. And your returning can tell you there's a zero change getting this or or here or he can advise you, I think we would get a real shot at that.

They will tell you what's going on, but you're going to get new information that you don't have yet today. And you do not need to buy a house in the middle if you need to move out of that house because of relationship problems. Um now then just go rent the cheapest thing you can rent until you get the other side of the divorce because here's what happens.

We get our divorce situation a Normal human being. We will get their emotions woven into and create this false sense of justice. In the math, that's what Jones talking about.

And IT doesn't work that way. A friend among that does divorce recovery work in counselling, says a divorce turns in marriage into a business transaction. It's all about plus and minus ses.

You plus for this asset, minus for this debt, and it's about plus and minus borrow. One case and IT is up on which sort of the baLance eat the leger. And then the judge signs off and then the money is dispersed.

Ed, and you know all the emotions in all that what's right or what's wrong? And the justice and IT doesn't really come up. Usually it's kind of frustrating.

Yes, so is the deal. So you ve got to walk through IT. So please get the other is for you about something.

If you've got to move, you don't have to move set there. But if you've got to move, then go rent something. Rent the cheapest thing you can rent. You get the other shot of this, but go get not torney like yesterday.

I've seen this several times day for somebody has an imaginary number about, they think they're to get, and then they do what he is talking about, the go back house based on in a couple of a months, i'm going to get two hundred thousand dollars and then you check for sixty yeah forty and a create right so just um get after. And the other thing I do, I love you mentioned this. So that seems to be a new trend.

This is new coming up of the last three, four years. People getting divorce but not trying to do IT just hand shaker like you just sufficing. And we just moved on. And if you've made illegal binding agreement, you have to unbind .

that agreement. State law.

retry your turn to attorney. And if you're moving out, call attorney and go through the process and get all the all the the tea crossed in the the .

ice does up dead right now that you end up being responsible for because get your name on i'd put a freeze on my credit so that somebody .

couldn't get in there with my with my such cream number and open up some create cards here .

and all of that. So um you know what does take that? Just the last second here and just OK. Here's the deal.

When you sign up for a car loan or credit card loan, that is a contract you and your husband folks, if you're out there, you and your wife are on that together. If both of you sign up for us in both names, it's a contract that both of you have signed. The judge comes in the divorce degree in prospect court and says, i'm going to give this via bill to the husband.

okay? That means that judge has told the husband he has to pay IT to use to face that judge. He does. That judge does not have the power to undo the contract.

So just because he handed the visibility to the husband said, I want you to pay IT the wife is still on that bill so when he doesn't pay IT, they sew both of you and you can't go but the but the judge set, the judge does not have the power in divorce court to undo contract law. They don't know that power. Only bankrupt cord has that power.

And so no, well, the judge took to give him the house. I given the house. You can pay IT. Now there are so inmate, right? As you believe that crap, you're still on the contract.

So you've gotto be completely released from everything by getting IT paid off and move in that kind of stuff in the process. That's why this is a business transaction. This is the ramsey show.

You know, I love when I get to talk about this each year during the holidays, as in years past, this december, sander is donating twenty five percent of all I D theft protection sales to team rubicon, an amazing veteran LED disaster relief organza that brings assistance across the country after major disasters and storms. These guys do incredible work on the ground, helping those in immediate need and have a huge impact in helping people get on the road to recovery. Zander has contributed over a half million dollars to worthy causes like this every december.

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Ellia is in canada. Hi elite. Welcome to the ramsey show. Merry Christmas.

Merry brima. Uh oh, i'm hoping you can help. Um so earlier this year my wife left me and you a daughter who's about uh eighteen one um we are separated but not legally the lost and he used to handle the money in the house.

Ah so i'm just kind of figuring things out for myself now make a decent wage and make that seventy three thousand a year. But I just I find, uh, I don't have pennies up together, but I am not really saving anything. Um so i'm just wanting you can we find maybe ways to to .

optimize a good question. Yeah, that would be a Normal thing left to itself. And the savings never occurs naturally unless somebody just like a savings freak. But most people, if you just don't pay attention at the end of the month or really even before the end of the month, the money is gone.

And so the only way to make the money behave is before the month starts, write every dollar down and what it's gonna and then make IT go where you wrote IT down to be going. You're in charge of of V T. But you need to tell IT what to do because what's happening is in your emotional state because your heart is broken and you're the daddy of a little baby and you're dealing with all this in the middle of that.

You're not in pay in attention of the money IT just leaves. Which would be that mean that that's what most people do in your situation? But the answer is, you gotto .

pay attention .

when you, when, when you're struggling to make payments at the end of the month. Is this you having set down on the math and realized that we not make enough money to live where I live and do what I do now that i'm a single dad? Or are you still send the money to your eggs? I mean a final situation.

Uh so I mean i'm kind of playing body descend of day get based on how much he makes them a giant um not like i've I put a budget out for myself and you know IT IT says I have three hundred dollars like really another the month, but I never seems to happen ah I do have. I have like a recurrent investment like I not as well. Stop putting something away if I can, just like I would. Can we get something like just want to really notice and I just have that going into no investment stocks and give IT any investment? Not that.

okay. So what happened was you you wrote down a budget and you never looked at IT again of the of .

the month .

yeah 一半 微软 yeah and then you want wow that didn't work so yeah you you i'm going to give you the um I tell you to do a written game plan every dollar on paper on purpose before the month begins and then before you spend some anything out of a certain category, you'd go back and check that category. Make sure you still got money .

left .

in IT and make sure if you're spending time eating out cure lonely or you're spending time doing whatever they cost money because you're lonely, make sure you recognize that and you're writing .

IT down because I mean.

you're going to a heart break right now. This is a hard time emotionally and that hard time will show up in the money if you don't get on the other side of IT, correct the whip on IT. So what you're facing is a very Normal reaction in the situation like you're in, but I didn't make IT okay. That doesn't make IT that that doesn't make IT like because he doesn't feel right.

That's why you call yeah day than anything. You can overstate that when when your world blows up, it's easier to feel like the rules don't apply. Anning more right? But they do right.

Math does right. Math keeps going. And the kids, so one needs to eat. I remember a close friend of hours, her husband left her pregnant with number three and and I remember asked him, a couple years later, had you make IT and that her answer was so instructed, if he had said I had to right in, that men had to get up and do the next thing, the the next right thing, or every day.

And so the next right thing for him is to begin to put some sort of structure to this chaos, is will blew up his wife, left him and this little one, and no one has had in their head, even right? That happened. Let's go to hold of our money.

Let's go to hold our calendar. Let's start there. And if you can prove yourself over thirty days, and I can stick to this thing and say no, then you can do again sixty days, you can do to get ninety days. And then you start asking yourself as as the job, as as the apartment is the house, is this the daycare center and go from there.

But I guess I don't know you you you know a lot more about this and I do that he feels like grieving a broken hard to grieving a loss of some kind um somehow gives us permission to let her body go to let our mind get on junk food, binge watch stupid stuff on net file instead of actually feeding our men something that tightened up and just let money .

go yeah and I think the differences I I don't think grief is doing nothing. I think grif is active if you're actively greeting something, if you're right and letters, if you are choosing your thoughts, if you're doing the next right thing, then that's an action. And then what most people mistake great for is i'm just going to turn to draw the shades and do nothing yeah what i'm saying is.

well, when something bad comes at me, it's like you said that gives you permission yeah I I so I don't need actually so I don't need to go to church. I don't I I don't need to watch my money, right? Because some bad happened to mission. Now I have permission.

One of my friends who works in the in the fitness industry said we often treat diets like you blow your diet and you because you get to fly tire and they just like whatever he said, it's like pull out a knife and going and slash in the other three tires. He instead just haven't one tire off, right? So your world blows up. This is the time to actually stop and double .

down on everything else, control the things you can control. And that marriage .

happened. So let's do these other things so that we can deal with the hard.

hard truth. And what that means there is like hard core like you were completely energetic and hopped up on caffeine, hard core budgeting. I'm going to write this down and i'm gonna pension IT and i'm pension IT some more and i'm and and three hundred dollars no, how about a thousand thousand ks, that's right at the end of every month and I must start put that towards something and then i'm going to work some extra and then i'm gna lean into these things and that's the way i'm gona process while i'm going through this rather than using this is um a reason I was just saying excuse, but even a reason for taking our foot off the gas and just let the car .

IT is your choose your heart right? Yeah you can choose to double down on your budget. I will force myself to exercise. You don't not feel like a bed and even though it's forty four below in canada where he is or i'm going to choose the heart of just getting in the end of every month, get further than further and water yeah.

it's just a human nature just so interesting when we think it's through because I can't I mean doing this for thirty five years. I can tell you that the number of times I talk someone ago, well, you know, going to go and divorce I thousand and I get forty and it's like, now you going to go clean that up.

Yes.

yes. So you know, what you said is before you do that, go on here and not do that.

exactly? Yes, yes, yes. exactly. Or find a, find an activity, find a zenn x, if you will find A A distraction that's not going to be catastrophic, right?

So often I tell folks you get one. So I hear from husbands to come home. I like one veg out.

Lot of guys to go sit the bathroom for hour, they'll just scrawl the phone and they'll disappear. And the push back is you be present this, how you need to be around, okay, I I need a break. And I always tell OK you get one.

You went thirty minutes, shouldn't keep the kids away for thirty minutes. Thirty years after that, you got put the down be. And so yes, when your world blows up, IT is hard to get out a bit.

IT is okay. You get ten minutes. You get thirty minutes to lay here and be sad. And then you get to get up, you get one, and then you get to go to your thing like whatever that thing is, you got to go to the next right move that you know is good for you.

So budiman came to an event that john I did with micro. We're doing IT for business guys and done one of things. John day was a talk during that event.

And choose your heart the, okay, you're either gonna overweight or you're going to exercise manager color can take both those. You're either gonna broke are you're going to manage your budget and work some extra and sell some stuff and get your bug under control, right? Choose heart and they're both hard. You must will choose which one on purpose rather than let IT happens to you. A friend of my sitting there, he lost one hundred and fifty pounds.

So amazing .

monday night.

It's like two George cams.

Oh yes.

that is so amazing to heart.

heart and and I said, what do you do and he goes, think in the lonely talk, man, choose my heart because i've choose to be fat onna, be what he told me. Wow, this is the rami show.

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Merry Christmas, folks. So I don't understand how on thursday it's still cyber monday. I'm confused about all of this.

I saw a great internet thing from the cry he was was like a confession video. And I thought, h no man did you know his wife for some and said, I was so sorry. But I said I was, I said I was good. The cyberspace say on, it's just going to keep going through heal. Big confession.

Apparently we're doing the same thing. So I don't know. We need to turn this into confection, but the bad news is that the cyber monday is not only on monday.

The good news is you can still get a bargain on stuff. So there you go. So hit rams.

The solutions that comes life store. You can get a john questions for humans decks their own soil for twelve box right now. Get you ready for the holidays. You can have questions for the humans or during the holidays. And you might see some humans during the holidays.

The total money make over box, twelve dollars, the audio books, after eight dollars, building a non anxious life Jones number one but cell's twelve dollars check IT all out at the um continuation of the cyber rami solutions docs I store. This is the keeper of travis and grand rapids shaves. What's up?

May you have the .

good days Better than I deserve? How can I help?

Uh, so this is my question right now. I'm driving work and pick up and playing on buying a few perforce on the car. My question is when I do by that car and distrust is totally mechanically sound, nothing wrong with that. As high miles do I park my garage, keep her spare, or do I sell IT and national money?

Are you you have that?

No, no, 这 okay。

How much more idea of in savings?

Ten thousand?

How much in your investments?

Well, I just started investing and the only three thousand now.

So what you you only how old? Twenty four years old? Okay, alright um I make thirty .

dollars and Better .

yeah good for you. Okay, so you're going buy a cheap low car because the the the three quarters kell on yg gas pretty simple, right?

Yes .

OK you know IT, I love having a truck. I've to have a truck most of my life. I drove a truck to work today.

okay. So i'm a truck guy like you just put that in in the paint is in the answer here, all right? Um however, if I were twenty three in your situation, I would not keep a spare car as an investment of any kind. Ah now later on, you know when you're millionaire, you're thirty three because you keep following our stuff and you want to have a spare truck sitting around, i'll be your guy because it'll be a small percentage of your world but right now mean that truck or bring how much money by five thousand and .

I put five thousand .

dollars the milk table and you didn't know the truck. Would you go buy a truck for a spae? No, the only reason you're keeping IT is because you like IT.

right? And well, if I buying a cheap car and if that does go down on me, I will have a back up.

You don't never back up now. You have a five .

thousand of truck. Yeah, yes. IT does make sense.

yeah. If I were you, i'd sell the truck promising myself that i'm gona become wealthy and drive whatever the flip I wanted grave later because i'm not worried about the gash myself. I mean, I drove a wrapper all over here. The thing drinks gas like, I mean, you have to stop at every gas station on the way.

IT gets four miles to the gallon.

IT gets four gallons ah he gets four gallons to the mall but you but I don't give a ript you know that's a different ah so but i'm in a position but when I was broken, I remember being broken twenty three twenty minutes ago feels like and so yeah, you don't need that. You don't need that extra weight on you. And but you just like have you just like the truck don't blame me for that.

I tried this when I was broke to have A A spare little, I I inverted IT. I had an old truck that I like driving around, but I had little zippy card get around. And IT was when I came up for registration .

that I did the math in insurance.

And IT was caused me about seventy five box a month that I didn't have. And so this paid for a car that I had in the driveway. IT was cost me money. That was my light bill, and that's when I got .

to sell you. So that's what I would do. But again, it's not a permanent decision for the rest of your life.

It's what you're doing right now at your stage at twenty three, later on, get you want everyone to get when you got some money, do live like no one else. Later you can live and give like no one else, Allen and seattle. Hi Allen, how are you?

I'm doing much Better than I deserve good.

How can I help?

Well, um I have done somewhere. I I started doing deviancy about five years before daybreak. You started doing day brand, and I discovered you on the radio in the nineties.

I was said, I love ready. Doing this is great. IT was confirmation for what I .

was always doing. Well, it's good when .

a couple of genius is, can make up old, old.

That's where that .

genius stuff comes from. So now of sixty eight years old, so about the about cancer this year, tired that I used to be that they are great. Um my network is five and a half million.

Uh i've got about two point nine of that in in the stock market and literal I get about two other key and cares and uh, i'm living in a house. It's was going to have million dollars in seattle with the let you I mean, it's just than I ever dream. I believe that.

And I because I didn't I never spent more money than I made just IT was just obvious to league you make so much to be the less and you say so so that's where I am now. So um number of sixty eight and and getting a little tired. Um i've retired for a long, long time and i've spent most of my time doing volunteer when I when I do anything uh anywhere, got A A good plex about everyone and fifty minute drive from here.

And it's worth between eight hundred k and a million. And it's bringing in about a fifty year. It's it's increasing in value about about fifty year.

So it's it's network you know in values about hundred twenty year. And I just get tired of managing IT because as you know, your stake isn't passive. Um every year something happens, one of the times moves out, we've got to turn her around or we get a water leak.

Something happens in that. And I told my wife, I said, i'm tired to managing this thing. So what do I sell the place and get a read to just you know be done with IT or do I get a um a professional management japan's professional management companies .

not going to make vaccine and repairs go away.

Both of those things .

are still gonna there. If the back can see in the repairs are what to drive unit, those leave professional management company will just handle the grief associated whether two things, but not the money. And so you can give up a little money in order to have someone else deal with the tenant, deal with the repairman um and those kinds of and deal with the vacancy.

But there you know no one cares when it's empty as much as you do. So that's up to you if you want to go that right, that's fine. But just you look for the right thing out of IT. IT sounds like you're hard to be in landlords, what IT sounds like to me.

And so I think I am probably getting out of IT and I might get into a different kind of a property that doesn't require as much active management, something that's a little new, that kind of a thing or like you said, just buy a rat put drop dropped at million dollars, which you talking about their in a read, that's fine. What's a read of a real estate investment trust is basically in mutual fund for real estate is how IT functions. And so many, many, many islands after they put money in and they buy a bunch of different properties and the cash flow from those properties in the increase in value, those properties give you your rate of return.

And most of the rich are paying about like a good grow stock, micro phone, about ten or twice percent. A good one is in the old days when they first started, they were free, heavy, and they didn't do well. Net nowaday. They're baLance owned.

a whole bunch pieces, small pieces .

of mutual 上 一段 that puts us out of the empty show in the books。 Ly, from the headquarters of ramsey solutions. It's the ramsey show, what we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships.

Start and personality off to the doctor. Join alone. I show a number one by selling author.

He's my co host today. Jerry is with this in phoenix. I jared.

how are you doing Better? Better.

good. What's up?

Well, my um my dad passed away a few years ago and he left us a very a sizable the state to my brother and I what .

what is a sizable estate? How much money?

My brother and I probably ended up with three to four million each.

That's simple. Okay, agree with you.

And and he he taught me to to be uh dead free at a Young age. So I you know I built my own um in my own retirement up to about seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars anyway wasn't that I needed the insurance .

but you were already a millions .

how I was .

working on mean advance on top of the seven so you were .

there you have to help people. Yeah good for you. The um the commander that I have is that he was married and a second time so I have uh step siblings and one of the steps had um had mentioned that I should share because he left IT to my brother and I and not the other steps.

Other steps are not his kids rect. They were his wives from a previous marriage, and IT was his second marriage. And so he he became the step data is making sure i've got the exact connection. So they have absolutely no blood connection. Him.

correct. In their adults.

How long were they marry?

Sixteen years.

And so they were adults. They were. He didn't raise these kids now.

He waited, told he, he said that that he didn't want to get married until everybody was out of the house. They dated for considerable amount times.

but so they in no way even looked at him .

as a father figure.

Well, this this step doesn't have a good relationship with her father. And SHE did cannot look at him for advice. And so far, yeah, that's and he he was good .

to their kids too.

to to the steps.

Okay, so SHE calls you up and says, I want some money.

No SHE IT was i'm having problem. My brother is passed away since then and he was in the middle of the divorce. So i'm having problems with his wife that was divorcing my brother, and I mentioned that to her and during that conversation SHE got upset because of the numbers involved and he started crying and say, I can't talk with you about this and I just really um I just still understand why we can all just share and .

but were not communist .

but what do you say to that nothing nothing that's .

not you .

all you don't .

say anything.

Yeah you say, you know what i'm so sorry, i'm sorry you know I listen I I care about you and i'll be here to emotionally be your step, whatever I am and that kind of stuff but um I and I understand that this is hurtful to you but gotch am so sorry and I just leave at that.

Because it's not .

about you about this.

No, you didn't do anything. What why would you feel bad? What you do?

Well, not not that I did do something, but that you i'm a Better situation than he is IT just know she's make you didn't harm her.

In that process, your father had money, and your father decided leave his money to his two sons is a very Normal act. Had he left some to the step children, that would have been unusual. 嗯。

step adult kids, yeah.

that he never were.

never in the house that he lived down. He didn't adopt them to be.

No, they were adult.

Now they their fathers still alive?

Yeah, no. So now, I mean, that's this poor girl just got emotional issues on our own. I can talk to you. You've got too much money that I thought I needed some of I may come on. That's hard now I feel guilty at all, and i'm not going be mean about that. Be kind to her and your dad loved be gentle weather and your be gentle weather, but your dad didn't leave any money and he was closer toward than you are .

that we're pretty close.

Your dad was closer toward than you are. He married her mother.

Well, I appreciate the very confident .

your brother ld.

um some of them were they were just A A couple of things, but my brother and I got that .

worked out so how are you involved in the divorce then and and .

his death and so forth .

because I just O G sure the executive .

as well well SHE side steps that and got the uh uh forget what it's called when you when you're the um SHE became in in in lack of terms executor because the will hadn't been good in place um so she's kind of in charge of the estate but i'm in charge of the trust because I was the trusty that's a whole another matter I thankful .

ving damaging .

your house no, nothing more. This tricks on the shows on the before he got.

wow.

yeah, I got to make the rules.

but i've got the money .

but I get to make the rules.

but I to make the rules really .

you like you were almost the x wife if you keep that in mind, yes, I figured we were going to put an action in front of your name. Can do how .

the fed is the road money like we are states. We can do what we want that to cool. You want roads OK will do what .

you say me. So hey guys ww Jerry, do you do what everyone do, honey? But here bottom line is this backless step sister thing or whatever he is um if you were to give her some money, it's not gonna make her okay.

SHE was not OK before. He will be not OK after because this is not about the money and its not about you, so you can't fix her with the check, right? It's a waste of money and even a yg college other .

what you want to call each other and that is your family's business. I don't even know this qualifies as a step sister.

That's not I mean.

I guess it's the child of it's an adult child of someone you're dad married, right? But that's a separate life, a separate world and you may be other close. Now that's wonderful and great.

good. But I always like to think back on the situation there. If my dad was here and i've got a decision to make, what would bring him joy right? With this money?

He loves me, what? And he already decided what you want to do this.

right? He was .

sitting there when he wrote a.

well, right.

I mean, SHE was on the planet at that point, not like something that right. He already that .

already clearly you and he didn't .

say he was mad at her. He just said he wasn't here .

and you don't know what she's already left them, who knows? SHE paid for her college or her her kids color, you know, stuff SHE just saw some huge numbers and says, I want somebody .

yeah that's what that there you go. This is the end ture.

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Doctor john a. Loney ramsey personality is my cohosh today. So I ran at a time, and we ran into the break on the dis functional step sister dad left money to his own boy's discussion, and I was actually even talk with one of our team members.

Uh, before the show, Christian and here were talking about a disfunctional succession plan that blown up in the public eye that he is aware of and how do he was asking me, how do you avoid that? So let's go back to that particular things. And how do you avoid this? okay. So there's two broken things in that call.

One is um the step kids had no knowledge and so once they got once the daughter got knowledge of how much money then her feelings were heard and her reaction was I can't even talk right now you you need to give me some much money right? Yeah the other broken thing was his brother, who had received three million dollars. He and his brothers head some of that inter twined.

They were able to untangle that so his brother would stand alone but and then his brother charge, go through a divorce. And instead of making sure he had a complete will, his will was incomplete. So now his soon to be ex wife has stuck her nose into IT and is screwing that up.

Both of these are poorly handled. A state planning, okay, so every one of you need a detailed will, but here's the important part that has left out of the first one of these things. With a step, kids have a reading of the will or a discussion with the parties that think they might be involved.

You need to do IT in one room or a series of rooms. I don't care. Have the courage to tell people what is is, wow, you're alive.

So if dad, who loved this girl's mom and was married to her for sixteen years, had SAT down with this girl and the others who said, hey, I cared deeply about you guys, but when we got married, we decided that that my money was going to go to my kids. And so I I want you to know ahead of time and has nothing do with that, whether I like you or whether care about you. But i'm leaving my money to my sons and it's substantial, but that's none of your business.

Would that be his conversation or that be their .

mother's conversion? I think it's SHE is OK I think it's SHE is because she's right now who's SHE angry yet here yeah because SHE felt connected to him and this this cut her yeah, that makes me wonder .

if he gave her fifty thousand bucks and then four million. And that's that's the .

guy he didn't say, he didn't say, he said, he said he left everything in my brother. That's true. So and which I don't know what happened to the mom, the second wife I get taking care of, I don't know.

We didn't get that the story, but the bottom line is tell people this is what's gone on. And so i've got a friend whose kid is doing drugs, and he's in his twenty years, and he SAT down with everybody. He said, honey, I can't leave you money, not because i'm punishing you.

but because i'll be buying you drugs or kill you, kill you.

You, you use that your addiction will be ramped up and you have an overdose die. And I love you and i'm not going to fund something that brings harm to you. And so you're not going to get any money in the current version of the will.

And it's not because I don't love you, it's because I do love you and you're out of the will and he knows that now. And your brother's the executor, and don't you say a word to him? So dad, previous shoulder back, had a backbone and had the discussion with a grown child.

Drug addiction wall is alive, yes. So this is not a movie. This is life. It's not like we have the paneled room with the trophy wife in the dis functional for four children who come in and they are entitled and trust fund babies and the reading of the wheel.

And they're all shocked that the one kid who somewhat Normal gets at all this, is that a movie that doesn't happen in the real world? okay? Whatever you're doing in the real world tell the people that way they don't have to deal with the other people who are pissed off after you die because you were a coward and didn't tell people what was going on. And your .

of charters, your characters, will blow up the lives of the remaining.

Exactly what this is if, dad, I had a ten minute conversation with this grown step kids and explain term that he loves them. I love their mother, but this was my money before I came in to this marriage and is so it's going to my children, you're not my children, even not care about you, then that would have probably handle this whole thing.

And if brother had kept up with his own dead gun, will and got that, got that done and changed everything over so you get divorced. Change the bit of Fishery three weeks before on your four o one k in your life insurance policies. Don't expect your x wife who hate your guts to leave to take a half a million dollar insurance proceeds and just give IT to somebody because you forgot to change the beneficial because you didn't do your job. So you've got to do these documents. People, yes, and draws me not.

And here's another side of IT. Here's another side of IT. Um I just yesterday sent my dad a text message, my dads in his seventies and i'm going to see him with a Christmas and I said, I want to go to lunch with you and I just want to listen I want to hear what your what your picture is for the next ten years where your mom want to live because I think he's retired in the next couple years from his professor job where you going to live what do you want this to look like and is a part that conversation in my dads was a homicide.

He's been i've done that well was since I was six years old, right? Um but talking through what can support you gonna need. What kind of health chAllenges are your facing?

There are millions of of of senior adults that won't have that conversation you're having. But there's also millions of people my age, thirties, forties and fifties. If you don't know, don't just say what they wouldn't have the conversation, then you need to go out. The conversation is somebody has to be an adult in this transaction, right.

guys? Seventy eight percent of americans are without a will, which is insane. It's stupid.

It's s oni. If you're eighteen years old, you need a will crew. I don't care if you own anything or not.

You want to, you want the state to decide what happens to your children. Have you seen what some states are doing with children? You know what these states in charge and nothing. They're morons. And so you need to be in charge your kids as is a will.

And there zero, zero correlation between making a will and a likelihood you die soon. It's not a thing talking about.

Death doesn't might be the opposite, doesn't incent probably the more we discussed my death, the Better I feel. All IT the money python meeting where we shouldn't talk about dave when theyve died. A flash worm not dead yet. I'm feeling Better really just a flash one.

I've dave, over the last year on my show, I think one of most common questions I get is how do I do x without somebody getting mad? How do I do? How do I talk about why without them getting buying up, up, you can't control that. So I think we all, as a country, we just got have some more conversations and we get duty in our kitchen.

Tb had to be main about my body that he's not mad, he is upset, he's hurt. She's kids doing drugs.

but he probably pay for hab.

right? He would help him anyway, I can, but he's not going to give him a big money in order the same amount of money or by else he gets him zero yeah so because you know and he said when you clean up or change the world, if i'm still here, if you don't clean up before, then you're just out you. So you know and it's a good it's a good to seen IT, but it's not we're not trying to buy something with that.

We're just trying to say this is what's going on. So don't be hurt later. Ah here we go.

Hi folks. We love talking about money in life and everything else. One of our brands where we help people is a small business brand called anti leadership. And we coach about ten thousand small businesses around america, showing them how to run a small business, all the aspects of running a small business. And I do a podcast, uh, that we've had.

We've done a podcast for about goss's podcast started is one of the first podcast out there, the first one and we ever get here before we even put ramsay on the podcast called the ontario ader ship podcast. And uh, I took IT over two years ago and uh, I just take calls from small business guys and galls who call in and go. I got this team members doing this.

I can't get my dad to do this succession plan. I have in trouble with this marketing idea. And so we just talk business during that on tay pot. Guess I do IT once a week.

If you want to be a collar on that, go to onta leadership dot com slice, ask or call eight four four nine four four hundred seventy eight four four nine four four one o 7o so mama bear legal forms dot com has been a sponsor of hours for almost a decade now。 And that's a quick, easy way during the holidays. If you have an uncomplicated a state, you can knock out at will just for a few dollars and in a few minutes, and then just hand IT everybody if you want to.

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Doctor john, the loni ramsey personality is my cohoes today, the ramsey show question of the day is brought to you by why refine? We trust what we fine. Because they help people who have defaulted private student loans, and they open refinance with a low, fixed, interact ate that you can't get anywhere else.

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All right. Today's question comes from jena and minnesota genre, right? Should I help my boyfriend payoff student loan debt? No, I guess we just end there, but I keep going.

I know you going to say so. Let me explain. We both went to college from mechanical engineering. My parents covered my tuition, but my boyfriend has over one hundred twenty five thousand knowledge and college loans. We both work good jobs and bring home a combined income of two hundred thousand dollars.

But as loan payments are killing him, he 的 to burn me with him and he wants to put our life on hold marriage, house in children till the payoff. He has about fifteen and savings. And so going to a long process. I've eighty thousand and savings in roughly three hundred thousand and stocks.

And my grandpa set up for me, when was a kid? Should I help pay off my boyfriend's allows by adding an amount to his payment every month, pay them out, right? Or you think I shouldn't him at all? Should you cave to his blackmail that I would say he is? This is, it's a red hiring.

It's it's a Price so listen kitto, we tell folks when they get married, everything become shared so you will have one hundred twenty five thousand hour student loan when you're married because your husband is hey will have three hundred thousand dollars in stocks that his wife's grandfather left her he will have eighty thousand dollars in savings that his wife had before they got married and so when you get home from the honeymoon, pay off the pay off the street long but 这是 bull .

crap bulker honest stick。 So frustrating .

yeah tell boy child time you. But the problem is, es, we're all play in house over here, so he's gotten no incentive to get married other than blackmail you into IT. So now if you want to have a healthy relationship, you'll get married yesterday. Reply in house anyway, we have a combined income. You don't have combined and come you're not married that's bull crap.

You're checking up and we would not have a show if people like you didn't withdraw one hundred twenty five thousand dollars from the money that their grandparents sent them to pay off a boyfriend's loans. And then you will break up.

O yeah, that's like we would standard.

We wouldn't have the show if that didn't happen all the time. I know you can say.

no, not us, not us. Yes, never do that. Yes, the guy that won't marry me would never do that. You know how you sound so seriously?

No, don't please, don't please, don't, please.

don't time to get married boin girls. Look, I think this is, I think it's a good, I think it's good, like an altera, right? Come to jesus. Are we are we going to this or not? Yes, because if we can get married, you come home from the honeymoon would tell you to take the three hundred eighty thousand dollars that you have an assets and pay off one hundred and twenty five thousand he dead that he has. And then we take off with our life, with our fabulous combined in come and zero debt and whatever is left of that money, which would still be two hundred thousand box. So yeah.

and by the way, when you get married, what you are agreeing to do is to help Carry burdens together for richer.

for poor.

And so if he, if he already says, well, i've got this thing going on, so i'm going to hide IT from you. I don't want to be with you. I don't be part of you.

This will be the rest of your life. This will happen with kids, will happen with tuition, this will happen with which church to go to. This will happen again and again, again. This is the big.

glaring neon to put he does want .

to burden me .

with that .

puts to marry brother, are going to together, work together, work together.

and give us got about twenty minutes. Get me the church on time, baby. I'm serious. I'm done with this guy. This is bothering me for there's something about, this is wrong, all of me. I'm usually a little bit pretty, pretty mean, but i'm usually a little bit more gentle than this. Yeah, but this is, this is something wrong.

Jena, here's what here's is is what .

I know what that is. You have worded all of this at all, the dad gum language, that's what's killing me. You have worded all this because you have about this frequent .

sales line that's think SHE think SHE is the problem.

He thinks he is the problem here. This guy has complete.

i'm afraid he's a .

he's so either way, if you get, listen you you either need believe or you need to get married.

Please between pay off and don't pay off .

his loans and let you get married. If you get married, it's our loans and our money and will, 对不对? But you you about twenty minutes, but at twenty minutes, stop sales job.

Don't like, don't like a con artist sleeping with a personal conny. The problem. Dead game.

Salman, sorry, think i've had too much coffee. john. Merry Christmas. Oh, oh, oh, my god. So calm down.

But yeah, I just, I think about my girls and they did not. Thank god. You know, thank god that we taught them how to pick. And they picked studs. So i've got two sons and other, absolutely .

incredible. I, yeah, i've got a Young daughter and you would kill him. But here's what? Here's why I know I do.

Here's why this Young woman gender is astounding. shy. She's a mechanical engineer. SHE makes a hr grand.

She's got a half million dollars already put together because her grandpa hot, her up and she's got this guy that he loves and the guy is making. So she's asking yourself everyday, what am I doing wrong? Oh, I have another way.

I can save this thing. I want to help. I know what you're onna say, but i'm .

different. No, you you're worth more .

than this. That's IT all more dead were looking for you can yeah .

so britty by verify and preparation age because I got hambros. Now, guy feel so mad when guys are idiots.

Patricks in orlando. O hey, Patrick s up.

Hey, guys. Um so the situation is where my life and I are sixty seven and we've got two point eight million and four different neutral .

funds go free.

Thank you. Thank you. We're that free and we gotta offer we couldn't refuse on our business. We close december seven.

We get five seventy five cash and we hold a note for five years for three hundred. So that brings me to the question because i've got a daughter that lives in Austin, taxes and SHE. Her husband have been married for twenty years and we have a beautiful grand child.

Um and uh they're saving for house. They're also debt free. You're doing everything right? They are both teachers and they want in a house and they're saving like crazy um two grounds.

And viv f to get Julia here pretty much wiped out their savings and they're trying to come back to that. And i'm thinking, and you know, december elephant, I lect five seventy five. I could probably, you know, give the money for a pretty nice house in, often at five seventy five. And so that's one option.

So do I like really strong? Just do IT, yeah, yeah, you are like, I like IT. Can I can I add one thing to IT? yeah. okay.

I do want this .

to be a gift, and i'll teach your technical thing you need to do. But aside from that, I do. You wanted to be a gift without strings, sort of.

But I would sit down in person with them. You and your wife go to dinner and make this a big deal. This is not just a drive by breakfast, one morning coffee.

okay? We're going to a nice restaurant. We're going to make a production out of this and say, this says nothing to do with a grandkid.

Although you see IT six times that IT does, but IT doesn't. okay. IT shouldn't IT shouldn't you shouldn't give IT to them because the grank age.

You should give IT to them because they have been responsible and you're not bringing harm to them and you're not enabling bad behavior. Instead, you're essential ating and lifting the positive thing that they have been doing with their life. And it's going to it's going to change your plan.

We treat the rest of the way. So yes, you should do IT. And I would say i'm going to give this to you with those strings attached. I will tell you, I have a favor to ask that you promised to never borrow .

money again. And I went.

wouldn't make I not a contract, but I would just say i'm doing this to change my family tree. But if you go screw that up by barrow in money, it's going to break my heart and I would do IT. yeah.

Now, h unified a state tax credit. Talk to your tax guy. You need to use up some of your state tax exemption so you don't have gift tax.

Don't do this without tax advice. Go get some tax advice, please. This is the emc show. Hey, George camel here. So you're thinking about .

buying or selling your home. It's exciting, but there's a lot to think about and all those decisions can feel overwhelming. Well, here's the good news. You don't have to tackle the process alone. Ramsey's real state home base is the place to find all of your free tools and resources for help to get prepared to buy or sell your home with confidence. You'll find calculators, start to finish guides, a podcast and even an in depth video course hosted by yours truly, what's not to love? So if you're ready to take the next steps toward your home goals, go to ramzy e solutions dot com slash real estate that's rams y solutions dot com slash real state.

dr. John a. Loney ramsey personality is my co host today. Thank you for joining us, america. If you haven't heard, cyber monday is no longer just for monday is it's pretty much every day of the week we wanted to be. So it's just a cyber thing, a cyber cyber forever that's um apparently we lie to you and we told you I was only on cyber on monday, and we're going to continue to like to you until we choose not to. So that's a bad news.

The good news is the store has everything on day monday here go so yeah breaking free from broke on sale for twelve dollars the number one best cell er by George camel are building an unanxious life the number one best seller by doctor john the lonely on self for twelve dollars a baby seven million's total money makeover get clear assessment dio books are eight dollars by the way uh just check IT out Randy solutions not come slight store until we decide cyber monday over and when we decide it's over, you will have missed out but you don't know when that's going to be because I don't know when that's gonna. So here we go. This is the ramsey show, mad lands and atlanta high. Madden, welcome to the rampy show.

Thank you for having me.

是 what's so answer .

is really our debt to income ratio is horrible。 So we just wanted to know what steps we need to 可以 to go in the right direction to get out of there。

When do you get married?

Um we have replying to date yet .

um then there's not .

a wee right. Okay there's .

not legally, morally, ethically, monetarily. We aren't in existence until we are married. And i'm not just making a statement. You you literally have absolutely no rights to the other person's income, legally speaking OK.

So um you you can act like you're playing how you can act like you're married IT doesn't change the law. The law says that your dad is your dad. Okay, now when you're marry, that's different. So I would suggest if you're gna be a wee that you make IT away and you run down the courthouse, we can get married. Yes, OK along you open, engaged or dating.

I'm about three years and time to paint .

or get off the letter, kid.

What what do you mean?

I mean.

get married. Oh, okay, sorry.

we've been almost in a long time. Yes, so you just, how are you?

I'm twenty four.

Okay, I go. So what do you make and what do you make?

So I make any thirty eight k .

what I .

have annually. Um okay I don't have a totally by twenty six forty monthly okay he makes .

about the same you do then okay yes and and um and how much dead do you have?

So might get um about so really only we have a and you bought a house .

at house。 Yes, your house do you buy together .

and the only one that's .

on the least .

h it's at least yeah i'm financing mortgage.

honey. That's not at least did you buy a house or or your tenant .

I I bought her is a in .

your name, you have a .

mortgage least does not in her into IT.

Yeah two hundred forty three thousand.

okay. And i'm and so you have a mortgage.

You bought a two hundred and forty thousand our house and you make thirty five thousand .

thousand year and you're twenty for yourself. He is on the promise that he was going to help prepay, but they're not married and he's not all alone.

Yeah.

this is what i'm been talking about before I started talking. Okay, now they are all right. So let let me. But what what dad does he have?

He has in total, including his other one, twenty eight thousand hundred thirty dollars. O, K.

so here's what I would tell you guys to do in your, I don't know, you're gonna do IT I can't tell from talking .

to you actually .

do IT if I don't I don't know you're nerves on the radio or if you're just going to go do whatever you want anyway the um I if you were my daughter, I would take you two nuckles heads to breakfast and pump your heads together and say you nucor heads go get married this week because because you're very you understand how vulnerable you are this got walks off your screw girl. You understand, you can pay the sales payment OK can you they qualify you for, but you can, you can afford this house if he gets up and leaves, right.

right.

okay. Now i'm assuming, is your relationship good?

IT is okay.

Then I would say let's quit acting like we're mary going get married because it's very, very important that you will do combine everything. And then what we've got is we ve got a home mortgage within eighty thousand other household income approximately, and he's got some consumer debt that we need to get paid off as quick as we can and will walk you right through the baby steps.

At that point, you cut up your credit cards, will get a car loan paid off. And we take all the over time we can, we quit eating out, we don't go on vacation and we clean up this mess. And where you have twenty thousand hours cash in the bank from emergency fun and no payments about a house payment and a combined income of eighty thousand, you'd be in pretty good shape.

right? Sir.

I can get you learned about a year if you're married, I can't get you there while you'll keep sorter doing this because IT won't work because because the doing things in the wrong order has left our precious madeleine here unbelievably vulnerable. You will be the victim if this thing go sad way is not him, you'll be the one that's in a mess. This thing go sad, but not him, and your worth more than this. And so somehow you talk yourself into, or you got talked into, or you guys together sit down and had A A combined lack of brains and decided this was the right way to go when IT wasn't because it's left you, my daughter, in a real mess potentially.

let's say he's not gonna like break up with her, but they cut his hours. They he quit his job or he decides on to go to MBA and he just quit like it's so exposed.

I mean, SHE doesn't have it's all on her bets .

to me like he's got a free right now. He got someone else to buy a house he lives in and he has to pay .

rent and maybe, maybe here now. So this is why these numbers don't work. okay. I guess there's a couple of issues like we got to stop for a second because we've got just a moment here.

Number one will remind you that if you want to catch the next segment of the show, the third segment of the podcast is always on the ramping network up, and it's completely for you. Go download that for free. So the numbers if you do just a couple of things in the right order, there's less than a three percent change.

She'll be at the poverty level in the right order is is before you do anything with your with building a family, you graduate from school, high school, gay. You do not live together before married if you don't live together before married and don't have children before married, so you do in the it's called, it's called the order, the poverty, poverty order. okay?

So you graduate from high school, get married before living together and before having children, you have less than a five percent chance of being at the poverty level. That's the national statistics. Almost all of our poverty occurs when you do those things in the wrong order. And you're a seventeen year old with a baby and he takes off because we ve got pregnant before marriage and so on and so on and on and picking on anybody. I'm just saying if I could sit down with a fourteen year old to say, hey, you have less than a five percent chance of poverty level if you'll just do these .

three or four things .

on the right order, you set yourself up for prosperity. You want to add to this and get IT down to almost zero chance. Graduate from a four year degree that is in a usable degree field.

You want to add further to that. Do all of that with no debt. If you just do a couple of little things like that, you're down to less than a one percent change.

You're going to poverty level. You could these these are controllable variables in your life, but instead you just my house with somebody in the america. This is the end to show.

Hey, you're still here. What are you doing? You do know that the rest of today show is playing right now over on the rainy network up right? All you gotta do to finish the episode is search rams y network in the APP store, google play store, or just click the link in the showed tes to download the APP or free. You heard me right for free, then right there in the home screen, you can watch the rest of today's, but of being bottle, all right, i'm get out here, enjoy or see on the APP.