Giggling about dick appointment bags, skincare secrets, and auditioning therapists
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Oh my gosh, warm up your vocal cords, because it's time to giggle. I couldn't say cords, but you knew what I was trying to say. No, I knew what you meant. So this is an important day because Paige has a pink microphone.

So we did Sheena Shea's podcast. And when she got on the screen, she had a pink microphone. And in my head, I said, Sheena Shea, why do I not have a pink microphone? And I promptly ordered one off of Amazon. And I have an extra one in case you need it. And that's called influence that only Sheena Shea can have. Also, we used to call her Shishu. But then we heard through the grapevine, she hates it. She hates when people call her that.

Which I don't know why because I think it's so cute. It's adorable maybe because it's like close to a shih tzu. I just think anyone that ever has a nickname is adorable because I feel like I've gone my whole life and I've never gotten a nickname. People call you P. People call me P which I do love. And Pam is not a nickname. It's a drunk alter ego. Yeah that's like she's a different person. I don't know her Monday through Friday. I don't even I don't want to be friends with her Monday through Friday.

um you're like i actually dislike her yeah i actually highly i beef with her all the time i'm like why did you do that i really like when guys call me p oh yeah like hey p and i'm like hey i think it's hot when you call guys like their first name like j like if his name's j so you call him j but then like any guy with a j name he kind of like ruins it for you because he'll always think of that j

Yeah, I don't fuck with J-name guys. I have this issue with boyfriends because they ultimately become ex-boyfriends and they ruin everything that you enjoyed during the time you dated them. There are certain restaurants that if I go to with my friends now, I'm like, ooh, five years ago I had a fight over by that bathroom. Yeah.

I was joking about like, you know how like after breakup, the littlest things remind you of them. Like you'll date a swimmer and then you're like, I can't order water. I can't have water at this restaurant. I can't drink water anymore. Sorry. It's like really triggering for me. Wait, this is so crazy. This actually happened to me like two days ago. My...

apartment like I'm my apartment's not loud but I'm used to living on the Upper West Side where I didn't hear anything like I didn't even hear a car go by nothing my apartment was like fucking soundproof and in this new apartment like I have New York City sounds like normal New York City sounds but when I sleep sometimes I need it to be absolutely silent like I go through different phases and

So I went on Amazon and I bought earplugs and I used to make fun of Perry so badly for wearing earplugs every night. And I was like, oh my God, this is like so embarrassing. And like, you're so weird. And then I'm like ordering them and I'm just like, wow.

I can't yeah I was triggered you almost want to text him and be like I'm I take back all the terrible things I said about you I get it I almost wanted to be like you were right I was immature I was just living on the upper west side being a stupid little bitch I did it a saxophone player so now I can't give blowjobs sorry sorry Des but it's like really fucked up yeah like certain songs

That like you just can never, they'll never be the same to you. Anything Kygo really fucks me up. Oh God. Yeah. Why is Kygo low key the most depressing shit ever? Like I know it's a party song, but all of them just make me want to cry. So depressing. There's like a beat in the back that's like, life is meaningless. Life is meaningless. Yeah.

confessions by usher part two can't no i don't know what i didn't does anyone know the part one of that every damn time no but now that we're like in our feels i think it's a perfect time to get into advice a little bit i'd love it going to bed and waking up at a man's house what are the rules to make up

How do you navigate makeup when you're sleeping over? I would say it all depends on how much you like that guy. I've woken up before and been like, I'm disgusting. My breath is horrible. My skin is so dry. My makeup's flaking off and I haven't cared. And I've rolled over and been like, kiss me. You know, like I don't care. Does that mean you really like him? No. No.

I would say the opposite. Does that mean you could just be yourself?

you're like who wants to be trapped with me all the time um but i have woken up before and like gone to the bathroom and like pretended i'm like peeing and like quickly done cover up so this is like the bridesmaid scene with john ham in the morning what is your go-to wake up in the morning want to look a little refreshed but like not too try hard in the morning what do you do just a little cover up under the eyes and a little bit of blush like oh i just woke up i'm like a

A little bit feverish because I was so warm cuddling with you. And this is how I wake up. And occasionally you wake up with a full face that didn't move because you had a good like... What's it called? Primer? No, not primer. Yeah, it's all about the primer and setting spray. Yeah. Yeah, just like get a better setting spray. You won't have to deal with this. A little deodorant goes a long way. True. Can I tell you something that's so crazy, but I've accumulated it over time? If I know that I'm spending the night out, my bag...

has everything you would ever need in it. And I've thought of like business ideas of like, how can I put this into like a package that girls just put in their bags before they go out? Like when you know you have a dick appointment, you have a dick appointment bag. Yes. Yes. Like you have a mini deodorant, a mini mouthwash, chapstick. You need a pair of sunglasses for the next morning. Yeah. You need a pair of underwear. I've even,

You need a pair of underwear. I've even gone as far as to like throw a pair of sneakers in my bag before. Then like I'm going to wake up and like.

throw these on it looks like i'm going out take appointment bags and making them like really cute shit someone's gonna take that idea i even thought of a name of it for a name for it so if you guys steal it i'll know um it would say walk of shame and shame would be crossed out and fame would be written over it i've thought about that a lot before wait this is amazing also makes me wonder how many dick appointments have you had to prepare for

Actually, I came up with this idea like two ex-boyfriends ago and I remember telling him about it and he looked at me and he goes, you're a whore. Stop.

And you go, no, I just want to be prepared at all times for whatever goes down. I also am guilty of using whatever the guy has fully. Like, do you ever go to a guy's place and you realize you've missed like a whole strip of your leg when you're shaving? And you're like, this is bad. This could ruin things. And then the amount of guys razors I've used for my vagina. I feel no shame in that.

Like I have no, there's no thought in my brain that I'm like, oh, I shouldn't do this. I'm like, fuck you. Like any guy listening. First of all, if you're listening, welcome. Everyone has used your razor, put it deep in their labia and gotten some little pieces they've missed. And that's okay because. That's okay. I happen to love Old Spice deodorant. So thank you.

Oh, it's so hot. I also think there's something fun. Like, I feel confident when I walk around just smelling like a hot man. It's like, who needs a guy to text me right now? I am the hot man. I, one time, I think, was it Perry? I can't even remember now. I used to use an ex-boyfriend's deodorant all the time. And he actually, it had to have been Perry. I think it was Perry. Anyhow. Yeah. And he used to be like, I can't smell you because you smell like me. And like, it's just...

I don't know. It doesn't make me want to bang you when you smell like a boy. Well, I do think you shouldn't be afraid of your natural pheromones because that's animalistic shit where people like fall in love with how your natural smells are. But then again, there are certain smells that you want to try to control a little bit. It's so crazy how that really is so true because every ex-boyfriend I've ever had, like their sweat smell used to turn me off.

Off? Yeah. I used to be like, oh, you're gross. I used to have one boyfriend who literally smelled like paint chips when he would sweat and I'd have to absolutely get out of there. I was like, why do you always smell like paint? All my best relationships, like when I played tennis, they would be like, when I got home, if we want to have sex, they'd be like, don't shower.

Ew. I know. Gross. That's disgusting. I mean, they weren't going down on me, but they just like, like, they said I smelled like sweet. Oh, I hate like. But that's because they like me. Like other people would like report me. Like I've ruined Uber rides because of my like post tennis smell. Have you? This is going to be so gross, mom. I'm sorry. Have you ever like had sex with a guy and like. Ew.

And it's like getting intense. It's getting passionate. It's getting emotional. You know, you might like cry during it. Yeah. And he sweats and it drips on you. I'm the sweatiest motherfucker ever. Yes.

But like it's ever like just hit you. Like I had one ex-boyfriend who was like, he really liked me. And so he would just sweat so bad. And sometimes it would like drip on me. And I'd be like, I can't. Like I actually need you to get the fuck off of me. Wait, so what would you prefer? A guy spit in your mouth or sweat on you? Oh my God. So different. They're both so different.

Not that different. Not as different as you're trying to make them. That's so crazy. Spitting in your mouth is a time and place, a time and place. And that's a decision you're making. Just getting sweat on is like, you know, natural. Have you ever like at the end of a date realized that the creases in your pants are soaked with sweat just because you have so much body energy and heat?

radiating from your vagina i can confidently say that's never happened to me that happens to me on a podcast like i am so sweaty i remember my first date with des it was like july and you know what you don't know what the weather's gonna be and it was outdoors so i wore full jeans and remember thinking this is the worst idea i ever had and my whole back was soaking sweat and we went to go to a restaurant he like put his hand on my back and i just remember being like

this could end it all right now this moment this touch i don't sweat that much i don't have as much as you do have you ever thought of getting botox in your underarms yeah yeah a lot of people have told me i thought i should do it like because in our confessionals they have to put the um ac on really high for me like i'm sweating right now and the thing is though like doesn't it has to come out somewhere yeah i just think it's the demons leading leaving my body

Yeah, it's like Joe Gorga says, it's the poison leaving you. I trust whatever Joe Gorga says. Oh my God. Me too. I forgot we were in advice. Let's see what's next. Oh yeah, we always go off on these tangents. Yeah. But if we just put out a podcast one time, it was just silent to see how long people listened. You should have done that on like April Fool. Be like, okay, we have something really serious to tell you. And then we're just silent for 40 minutes. But that's what they do on TikTok. You know how they're like, we have something to say.

And you're just like, there's music in the back. And you're just like, okay, okay, I'm ready. Hit me with it. And then like 30 seconds later, you're like, oh God, this better be good or I'm going to fucking hate myself. Okay, what are one-liners to pick up guys? Wow, people ask me this an odd amount of times and I don't have any. Like, I think people think that I would be better at talking to men than I am. I would argue that you are very good at eye contact and you work with your eyes. Yeah, I am.

Where I work with my mouth. Yeah. I feel like you used to have really good one-liners. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of negging. But yeah, first you talk to his ugly friend.

Or just one that's not your type. Wait, Hannah, do you remember the time we were at like a bar or something? We were at a table with all the Mets players. Let's tell this story because I feel like we've held it on lives before. But yeah, we were at a table with the Mets players and I was like Paige. There was like four of them and they were all very cute. And I was like, Paige, what?

watch me get you a date right now. Yeah, Hannah was like, let's go over to them. And I was like, we could never. We're going over to them. And I sacrificed myself. Yep. I sacrificed myself. Do you want to tell it? No, you start it. Okay, this is what I remember. Actually, we'll throw names in. One of the guys was Noah. And then this is whatever other picture. And I grew up like a Yankees fan. And you're a Yankees fan too, but we were like...

We know enough about sports to kind of mess with them, so we walked over.

I think I made a joke about the Yankees, which wasn't great, but definitely got their attention. You said you didn't make a joke about the Yankees. You said you guys play for the Mets. And they said, yeah, we do. And you said, damn, I'm a Yankees fan. And they just stared at us. And I was like, my friend, like, this isn't going well. Would you have to do say something that like creates a reaction? And then they're going to look at the other friend. And that's where you're like, this is safe space here. Like, we're OK. Stay with me. Stay with me.

And yeah, I just remember saying like weird, funny shit. And you kind of being like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for her. Sorry. She's so awkward. She's so awkward and weird. I was like, she has a boyfriend anyway. But she's my friend. I do think like go in, make a scene, leave. Yeah. And then there's nothing better than letting your friend bond over what the fuck you just did. I really feel like...

there's not going to be like one line or one thing you can say to a guy that's that he's going to be like, Oh, I want to talk to this girl now. Like I'm a very firm believer of guys are just like such simple creatures. Like if you walk into a room and they see you and they're interested, like they're coming up to you, you know, you don't really have to do anything. No, but I don't, I think there's a lot of guys who like you who never have come up to you, but see you.

So your job is to make... But, like, do I want them? Valid point. Valid... Valid point! Yeah. Like, do I want someone who's, like, not gonna come up to me? Here's the thing, too. I...

Was having this conversation with one of my friends and we were talking about like our guy group of friends and we were just like, look, like we're not marrying any of them, you know? And I was like, here's why I would never marry any of them because I've met all of them. Not like that. I hate their personality. You're talking about your friends? Yes. I'm like, I've met them and not one of them like in the initial meeting me has been like, I...

could not imagine a day after this that you're not my girlfriend. You know, like when I first meet a guy, if he's not like,

you are the most amazing. I don't want you like, and also I'm not going to end up falling for you. If I'm not obsessed with you in the beginning, like I'm probably not going to become obsessed with you. Oh, you're so right. You're preaching so hard, but it reminds me of like when I, when I met Des, like the second we met, he was just all about me. He was all about me to the point that I was like, red flag. Yeah. I remember. I don't know.

I remember one time we were laying in bed and you were like, actually, I don't know because like he's so into me. And is this moving too fast? And I remember being like, just like go with it and see what happens. You can always get out of it if you want to get out of it. And you're like, okay. And now you're engaged. I was in a fucked up relationship before where like the guy in the beginning was very like,

I'm so into you. I like want to be with you. I want to go on vacation with you. Like all this stuff. But then it never like came to fruition. Yeah. And also like...

There's difference between a guy in the beginning telling you lines, which is like... If a guy tells you he really likes you first date, like... Or if he, like, starts talking about your future... Yeah, if a guy is like, oh, I want to do this with you and that with you. No, no, no. Like, run. But Des wasn't doing that stuff. Des was just like, I want to see you again. Yeah. But that's the difference between, like, being sure they want to get in your pants versus being sure that they're into you. Yeah, and I feel like...

I feel like guys sometimes, sometimes like I'll start talking to a guy and they'll like compliment me a lot in the beginning and then they'll stop. Like I feel like they think, oh, if I show her too much attention or like affection, she's going to get turned off, which usually I do. Yeah.

But then but sometimes it'll happen where I'll start to resent them because I'll be like, why do you think I don't need to hear it? You know, like you can like every time I walk into the room, you should be like, wow, you look so hot. Like I had a boyfriend who I would have to beg to give me a compliment. And then like I realized it was just all out of his own insecurity. Yeah. A lot of guys think like, well, she knows she's pretty and they're in their own head about like their dad bod, which we think is hot anyway. Yeah. We've set the bar so low for these fuckers.

okay if a guy is an asshole to you do you tell him off via text or stop talking to him not worth your time not worth your time not worth your time because he's gonna screenshot that you don't know who he's gonna send it to it's gonna be taken out of context i've done it a bunch of times i've just gone off and every single time after i press send i'm like why did i do that yeah silence is the best like answer and the best revenge

You couldn't have said it better. I also think... Just ask the guy who ghosted me. I also think that...

any text paragraph is not worth it like i don't do text fights if you want to talk something out or like i'm not you know those people who you'll be out with and you're like what what's going on they're like sorry i'm having a text fight i'm like call the person because it's like you clearly just want the drama of like the attention of some people sending paragraphs to each other like i don't want anyone having receipts of anything yeah it

Even if you're not on a Bravo show You don't want receipts Send a voice note I've had voice note fights before I like that Because you're like kind of busy Yeah But also so many fights They're not listening to you You're not listening to them If you really want to make amends Talk on the phone And if you don't want to talk on the phone with them Then you're done Ignore that shit Silence is louder than anything

There's so many times where I've had text fights and I'm like, I'm not even reading what you wrote back because I'm just trying to make my point and like, let me make sure all my commas are in the right place. Okay. This is getting a little sexual. Yes. Guy is shy going down on me. What's that mean? Like he doesn't do it. Yeah. Maybe he's like, not sure. Like he's low and secure about it. Break up with him. I mean, I don't know what else to tell you. Break up with him. How old is he?

If he's past the age of 17, absolutely break up with him. He should know what's going on by now. Read a book. Watch a documentary. Like, what are you talking about? You're shy. I've had this conversation with one of my girlfriends so many times. There's so many girls who were like, hey, my boyfriend won't go down on me. What's in the water? Something's happening specifically in New York City.

I have no idea because DJ Khaled came out and said he doesn't go down on women and like he almost got canceled because of that. And rightfully so. No, it's so confusing. It's confusing. And I don't know if it's society that like told them a type of thing, but like there's nothing hotter than a guy who's like, you know, it turns me more, turns me on more than anything going down on you. I just feel like girls are like,

So willing, ready and able like everything else in our lives that we're like, we're like, if we're having sex, like I'm going to put it in my mouth. This is what happens. This is what adults do when they like each other. Why you all of a sudden have some fear of like, I don't like to do that when like we're first hooking up. Like, could you imagine if I said that?

Like, I'm just not going to do this. But I do think before you break up with him, definitely let him know. Be like, I love, love, love, love when you go down on me. And if he doesn't take that in any way, fuck him. The ratio of like how many times girls go down on guys compared to like guys going down on girls, I think is astronomical. And I was like hooking up with a guy for a while and

Like a solid couple months. Like we were like about, yeah, too long. We were like about to date. A solid too fucking long. And we were like about to date and he never did it one time. And I like never brought it up. And then, yeah. And then one time I brought it up and he was just like, oh, I didn't know you liked that. And I was like, well, I'm a female. Like, you know, I have all the necessary parts. Yeah.

And he was just like, oh, OK. Like and I felt like he would course correct this motherfucker never course corrected. And I was just like, I mean, I'm not going to bring it up a second time because that's like I'm not begging you. And this is like embarrassing. And also like you're probably bad at it. Never talk to him again. Got to go. And now he's in court. And now he's on crack somewhere. Oh, this is a weird one, but I feel like you'd be good at it. OK, how do you go to your first wedding?

with a boyfriend together okay this is a lot riding on this i think wait i'm feeling pressure i'm nervous no yeah you should be feeling the pressure because i feel like it's a make or break it's make or break i think because weddings are very couple-y no matter like if it's a family wedding if it's like his friend's wedding your friend's wedding like

It's a very date situation. So you have to be able to sit at a table of people that you may not even know and have the best time with him. So like if you're not laughing through the ceremony or he's not like squeezing your hand or like you're not having fun during the reception, it's not going to work. I thrive at weddings.

I thrive at weddings alone, but Perry and I used to absolutely crush weddings. How? Because we were in our own world. Like we would be like watching the couple. We would like comment on ceremony things and then we would get absolutely hammered at the reception. There's two types of weddings. One...

Why did I say it like weddings? Weddings. There's two types of weddings. The first one, I agree. If it's like a friend's wedding and you're there, it's all about like you guys having fun on the dance floor. Even if you don't like to dance, making fun of dancing. You have to. Talking about the food. Yeah.

like having like an intimate moment outside where you're just fucking making out um finding another couple that you like really vibe with and having good moments with them you have to find yes you have to find your couple you have to find your couple just make eyes in the room and see who else is rolling their eyes and go towards them um even if you fucking love that friend so much there's always gonna be someone's like mark didn't think this was like this isn't mark mark didn't want this

Or like the grandma, the dress, it's like, she's not the fucking bride. What is she thinking? However, if this is your boyfriend's family's wedding, I have slightly different advice. Okay. My advice is, because you guys are not trying to be like fucking on the dance floor. No, no, no. This is your time to literally look great, feel yourself,

And have so much fun with the other family members. Like if you're off talking to his aunt for 30 minutes, you're doing amazing, sweetie. Yeah. Like you want him to be like, oh, I'm stressed. I hope she's having fun and be like, wait, she's hanging out. And I was going to say Karen with Aunt Margaret. Yeah.

and she's having a good time then like you know be out there with the uncle find the cousin talk to the grandma for as long as possible yeah grandmas are key grandmas are really key because guys are stupid and when they just see you getting along with their family next thing they're like i guess we're married yeah they're so stupid i don't think i've ever been to a family wedding with a date

It's probably for the best. Next. My biggest self-sabotage, how to not take things personally. Oh, you're asking the wrong people.

I've literally, that just hit so hard because that is like my biggest issue. Why did she just hurt our feelings on our own podcast? Damn, girl. Damn. Yeah. Well, I actually think you're way better at it than me. Like, I think people will do something to me and I'm immediately like, so you're cut. You're out of my life. You're like, fuck you. Where you, I think, are better at seeing bigger picture. Like, oh, they're having a tough time or like, you know, that's their own issues. Yeah. I,

What was the question again? Reread it. How to not take things personally and then like self-sabotaging shit. I have the answer that you're supposed to do that I'm not good at. Well, it depends. Like if it's with a boyfriend, it's very different than like how I would go about things with a friend. If it's with a boyfriend, I chalk everything up to like you're insecure and you think you're competing with me and you're a loser. Like get out of my life. Like I don't have time to deal with that. So you took it personally.

I know. I'm just like personal. I'm like, you just have your, I've had a lot of boyfriends in the past that have like insulted me or like told you you're not good enough. Like you're not good enough. You should change this. You should change that. And like, I have obviously gone through the motions of like, maybe he's right. Maybe I'm like, blah, blah, blah. And then I get to a point where I'm like, wow, that's all on your own shit that you don't like about yourself and like whatever. So that I can write right off when it comes to friends. Yeah.

It's so hard because, yeah, like Hannah, you're very much like if you do one thing to me, I'll never forget it. And like you're basically dead in my eyes. I'm like people are human. And like when it comes to girlfriends, unless you have like –

ripped my heart out, threw it on the street and like ran over it with a bus. I'm probably going to give you a second chance. I'm not going to let you in as much. You're probably not going to know as much about my life, but we're not going to have this like epic fight. I think you are better at like that mid-level friendship.

where you're like, you can have fun. Where like me, I'm like, you're either all in and we fucking love each other. Or I'm like, I can't do the like pretend that I trust you kind of thing. I think that's because I went to an all girls high school. I know. I feel so behind because I like was just like going to like all these different high schools, like public schools and tennis academies. And I never really got into like

of friendships? Well, there's levels of friendships. There's level of friendships. Like, I have girlfriends that know every single part of my life. And then I have girlfriends that, like, we just go out together. And, like, you know... And when you see them, you have fun. Yeah. Like, Fridays and Saturdays. Yeah. Then I have girlfriends who are, like...

Deep deep friends But I don't talk to them For like months at a time Yes You know so like And you see some of them Know like You trust more than anything But you just don't Like I'll give them Cliff note versions Of like what's happening Like my one friend Katie She's one of my best friends She lives in Florida With her boyfriend And like I Will give her an update Every so often Quarters Yeah And she'll just be like Wait what happened to Chad I'm like I don't even remember Chad Katie Like I don't We've moved on Like

but I think the overarching answer to this question is that you can't control what other people do and when you get angry at them it is a self-sabotage because anger is an emotion that just eats at you and it's personal to you so if you can find a way to like acknowledge the situation be aware of it the anger you have is literally just hurting you and the only thing you can control

Also, like, you have to look at certain things where it's like, in the grand scheme of my lifetime, is this going to matter in five years? Probably not. Yeah. And that helps me get over things. I'm like, am I going to... Because I always...

I do this weird thing where like usually I have a boyfriend and I'll think like, oh my God, last year my life at this time was so different. I wonder what it's going to be like next year at this time. So like when you're in like a weird situation with someone, I always think like, okay, this matters today. Next year at this time, am I even going to remember this? If it's not going to matter in five years, don't let it fuck up your next five minutes.

right oh my god mental health moment i loved that one that was a good one no but you're so right it also shows how malleable your brain is and how like you are never stuck even if you feel stuck i'm talking to myself right now things will evolve and always change

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. Oh, and I have one last thing that someone asked. Okay. How can I find a friendship like Hannah and Paige when I have social anxiety as an adult? Just look in the trash bin. You answered that a little too fast. When you have social anxiety, um...

I have social anxiety. So find yourself a friend who also has social anxiety. No, you nailed it. Here's the thing. What I do, you have to be honest about your anxiety. Yeah. I just think that like you can't go like looking for a friend the same way you can't go like looking for a boyfriend. Like all of my friends that I've like accumulated over the years have just like randomly popped up in my life. Yeah. And I feel the most comfortable with them.

You can force any friendship. You could like, like you could force any relationship. It's just not going to work in the long run. And I think if you're self-aware enough to know you have social anxiety, go to an event, find someone else who kind of looks similar energy to you, go up to them, plant a seed like, oh, I hate this stuff. And if they hate it too, that's called friendship.

Like all of my girlfriends I've met because we've been somewhere and I've been like, oh, I can't stand her. Like someone's walked in. I've just been like, oh, God. And they've been like me, too. Or like certain things where I'm just like I hooked up with that guy. And like now it's so weird. He's here. And she's like me, too. You know, like you find like some commonality.

My biggest piece of advice when trying to befriend women is for me, I feel like sometimes I have like kind of big energy and I want people to feel comfortable around me to know like I'm stupid, like I'm stupid. I'm not this like loud, confident person that I'm coming off as. I will just talk about pooping.

Like that literally bonds me with any girl. Yeah. Like I'll go up to them and I'll just be like, oh my God, I just had a nervous poop. Like I'm stressed out and they are going to laugh. They're going to feel like you just got vulnerable with them through shitting. And if they respond with like their poop schedule, watch how quickly you are bonded with them. Watch your life change, okay? Yeah.

Brene Brown Would be like Watch your fucking life change Watch your life change And watch your life change I had a girl I met a girlfriend One time And we bonded over She was just telling me About her breakup And I was just like Mad at this like guy That I've never met before I'm like If I ever see him In the street She's like You don't know What he looks like I'm like I'll find him

But also don't feel like you have to talk to everyone. Like look around and try to find the person that you naturally feel a little comfortable around. Like don't just... Also, don't stress about it. Like your people will come into your life. Your people will find you. Yes. Before we go to front page news, you were telling me about some like skincare stuff going on. What's up there? Okay.

This is not paid. This is not an ad. This is just I like to keep the girls updated on like the new things that I'm doing. So one, I've been trying to drink a lot more water. Like, oh, it's so hard for me. But like, I've been trying to drink water, but I got this new like water bottle. So we're hoping that helps. Anyway.

I don't know if they're in other places than just New York. I think they're in LA, possibly Chicago. But I've been going to face gym. Look, also, anything I talk about skincare related, it's expensive. Like, because it's the only thing I really feel like justifying spending money on. So I've been going to face gym and I've been trying to go once every other week. And...

I went – okay, so I went two weeks in a row. And then like I went out with a bunch of my guy friends this past weekend. And every dinner I walked into, they were like, oh, my God, your face looks so good. What's going on? And I'm like, stop. You're like, am I pregnant? I'm glowing. I'm glowing. I'm like she's a snatched goddess. And they're like, no, seriously, like your face looks so different. So I've been doing face gym, okay? And it basically they just –

So it's like a workout for your face. It's a workout for your face. You go in, but it feels like a normal spa. Like you lay down. No, like, like there's different stations. Like everyone's next to each other. Basically you lay down and they just like massage all these things. There's nothing like invasive. So you can like go home, put makeup on, go out. Does it feel good? Yeah, it feels, no, it feels good. And then there's different like add-ons that you can do. Like they have this like electro thing that like whatever, right?

And then I've been doing, I go to a plastic surgeon to do this though. It's like a laser facial that basically helps with like, it like mimics if you were to get a full face of Botox.

but like you can move your face what's it called and lutronic laser lut whatever a lot of like med spas have them and i try and do that like once every three months once every four months i'm actually going next week does it when you leave is your face all red like when you leave your yeah when you leave your face is all red like you shouldn't put makeup on that night so i usually get it done at night time go home moisturize go to bed wake up

She's fucking glowing. Now, ladies, this is important because we are in this like entertainment space. And I feel like so many girls in entertainment space do not go in depth with like the stuff they're actually doing to their face. I mean, that's like my issue with the JLo thing. She's like olive oil. It's like, no, tell me these fucking wild things you're doing for your skin. Like what are the procedures you're doing? Yeah. And I'm so like, look,

at some point in my life, I'm going to get Botox. Like, I know that I'm going to. Who knows? Maybe I'll throw a filler in there one day. But like right now, I just feel so icky about it. Like, I wouldn't feel good about myself if I went and just started injecting my face with things. Mm-hmm.

It's probably because you still have a ton of collagen in your face. Yeah. So I try and find whatever like alternatives that like just boost whatever you naturally still like whatever you have. Because there's a thin line between like boosting what you have and then making yourself look older when you start injecting shit into your face. Right. Like I want to get rid of fine lines, but I'm not trying to like do half a syringe. Exactly. Exactly. And the more people that get these

um fillers you start just like immediately you'll just see the filler and not the girl so like there's peaceful ways of doing it but i just feel like like subtle is king i also feel like once you like start going that's it you have to keep going you know so i feel like it's like a commitment that i'm definitely lip fillers like i people don't know the long-term effects of like stretching your lips out thank god we have big lips

Who was I just lift? I was just with someone and they got a lip flip and they were like, but you would have never noticed. A lip flip? She looked amazing. Yeah. What's a lip flip? It's like her top lip was like a little bit thinner than she wanted. Yeah. So they put like lip filler just like one in one place and it makes just like right here like flip up. Yeah. But rather than getting like your whole lip injected. And my thing like do it, but like don't.

It stresses me out because it's like, oh, if you're going to flip a part of your lip, why not change this part of your nose? Why not change your eyelid? And the next thing you know, you're fucking going into your ear. And then next thing you know, you have. Yeah. So just be careful. Just be careful, guys. Just be careful. OK. Shall we do front page news? What? I want to do one last thing. I'm trying to find a therapist right now. Wow. And it is so fucking hard.

Like first of all Like trying them out You don't want to just have like Well you don't want to just have any therapist So you're like trying to get recommendations And then every therapist in New York City right now Is booked up

Because everyone's crazy. Everyone's losing their mind right now. So like I'll find someone that I finally trust and then they're like, no, we're full. And then when you have these consultations, you basically tell them like your deepest, darkest traumas to be like, can you help with this? Which is so exhausting. It's like going on dates and having to be like, okay, this is what's fucking me up. And it sucks because you have to like go to that dark place. And I'm like having so much trouble.

You know that Instagram overheard New York? Yeah, I love it. I was walking down the street. This is months ago, but I never forgot it. I was walking down the street and I was like listening to this two girls conversation. And the one girl was like, what have you been up to? And the other girl was like, oh, I'm just like auditioning therapist right now. And it's like exhausting. And I was like, that is the most quintessential New York City line. Like,

Like people auditioning therapists because it's such a thing. Like I can't vibe with a guy therapist. Well, what am I going to do? Like complain about my period and be like, yeah, that must be hard.

Speaking of, I got my period today for the first time since November. And like, so if you see my uterus on the street, like, don't be alarmed because I'm unwell. Wait, this is great news, though, because you were like worried about it. This means things are working. Things are working. Things are happening. She's an adult. Yeah. This is great. Amazing.

Amazing. Oh my God. No, I'm really happy for you. Thank you. The therapist, it's hard too because then if you like try one out for a couple sessions and then decide you don't want to be with them, it's like super personal where you then have to break up with them. And then also the ranges of money, it's like either $100 a week to like, I've seen up to like 300. So then I need a therapist for dealing with finding a fucking therapist and then you're like need therapy for like the amount of money you're going in deep to get a therapist. Like,

Have you ever had a therapist break up with you? No. Has that happened to you? No.

One time I had a friend like give me a therapist number and I called them and had like one session with them. And she was like, she was like, OK, like, I just don't think I can be your therapist because I know one of your friends and I'm her therapist. And it's like a conflict of interest. And I want to be like, so then why am I here? Like, why didn't you tell me that before I came and told you everything I hate about myself? I'll give you a recommendation. I know the first ones are so hard too.

Yeah, the first ones I'm like, I don't... That actually happened to me. I'm like reaching out to therapists and they're like, oh, this person knows who you are. Oh, this person knows who you are. And they're all saying they can't do it. And then one person randomly went to like middle school with me and said they're too connected. And I'm like, guys, like...

anybody um also i've gotten i've had like a therapist before where i've gone in i've just been like yeah like nothing's really wrong like i like i feel like i'm just like my life is actually pretty good like there's nothing and they'll say one thing and i'll be like okay so what is that by then you're just like bawling your fucking eyes out that is hard because when things are going well you're like okay do i have to like find an issue that i wouldn't have been worried about yeah do you ever find yourself lying to your therapist that's when it's bad

No. Have you lied to your therapist? A thousand percent. Of course. I don't know. And I've been like, why do I do this? What are you lying about? I don't know. I've just like lied about things or just like, I don't want to get into it. Oh yeah. You're like, oh no. Like I'm fine with that. Yeah. I'm like, no, I don't. I don't even care. Oh, I would never burn his house down. No, I didn't key his car. It wasn't me. I don't know who did it. I don't have keys. I don't even own keys.

Okay, I have this meme that says therapy went well today until my therapist asked me to stop trying to win at therapy by being funny and gaining my approval. Like, okay, you didn't have to be so forward about it.

that's at I know places mp6 who posted that I remember my first therapy I was like wait I'm so used to like making people like me so like I can just be like raw and like just sad and that's okay but then I'm like but then is she gonna root for me or is she gonna be like this fucking sad girl like I want to know does my therapist like me yeah like do you have to get your parent therapist to like you or is that a conflict of interest

I don't know. Also, then with Summer House, like, do you want them to watch Summer House or do you want them to not? Like, do you want to just base it on, like, what you're saying? Or if they watch it, are they going to have the wrong perspective because they aren't getting, like, the full story? So my last therapist, who I don't see anymore, she didn't watch it. Yeah. And...

My last therapist. I don't know if I liked it or if I didn't. My last therapist was older and I was like talking at the media company I was at and I was like, so-and-so keeps like tagging me like they're being passive aggressive and they're like tagging you. And I'm like, oh, like, and it took 20 minutes to explain how Insta stories work. And I'm like, wait, I just dropped $150 to explain how Insta stories work. Maybe you should Venmo me, bitch. Yeah.

okay just gave you a fucking life lesson i don't know my mom is also so still like so old school that like if i'm ever i'm like i need a therapist she's like you need a therapist you call me you vent to me i'll tell you what's wrong with you i'll tell you right now well that's the thing i haven't had therapists in a while and my god my and people are like oh because you talk to your mom so much but like my mom needs therapy from

my shit that I put on her. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like that was my mom too. I feel like also like Italian old school like families like therapy. They'll do anything for you and therapy is not. Yeah, but like therapy is not a thing. Like...

unless you really have something wrong with you i don't think my family's ever been like you should go to therapy like italians have so much fucking anxiety yeah and then they just like drink wine they bottle everything up yeah and every time i've ever gone to a therapist it's been on like my own where i'm like i'm gonna like start talking to a therapist and i was like okay do whatever you want like you crazy nut but then every single person in the city has a therapist

Like my friend messaged me the other day and she was like, ha, thank God we all have therapists. And I was like, funny thing. It's like awkward if you don't. Some of my friends have multiple therapists. Okay. I was thinking about that. For what purpose? Because then you have to repeat stories to all of them because that's exhausting. No, because like there's some, I don't even know what the difference is. There's some people that can prescribe medicine. Okay. And there's some therapists that can't. Yeah. And then you also have to have your psychic. Psychologist.

And then you have to have your energy healer. I've actually, I actually haven't seen my energy healer in so long. I need to call her. Why? I don't know. I just haven't like, cause you're single now and you're like, Oh, my energy is just bad. I should call her and like, see what the fuck's up with me lately. Do you recommend energy healers? Look, I,

I reckon no if whether it works or it doesn't work. I am very into the placebo effect. So like if you want to pay some woman $20 or $200 to clean your fucking chakras and it makes you feel better. Do it. Does it really work? I don't know.

Who knows? But if it makes you feel better, like it's working, why not do it? I do think there's a thin line between like self-help and then like the self-help industry just like guzzling your cash. Yeah, absolutely. So there's a thin line. Like don't go online and buy like a self-help e-book. When I was depressed once, I went on Amazon. I bought like all those books like...

Girl, let your hair down. Like, no judgment. Yeah. Like, I bought, like, literally eight of them. And then I got depression because I spent $250 on Amazon on books that I didn't read. Yeah. My mom is right, though. Like, most of the time when I'm having, like, a really big problem, I will just, like, call her and, like, vent to her. And I feel like when I was, like, all growing up, my mom every Saturday – this is actually really cute – my mom every Saturday would take a bubble bath

And I would go into the bathroom and I would sit on the ledge of like where the tub was and like she would be in the bath and I would just lay there and like tell her all of my problems or like talk to her and we would like chat and then I'd feel so much better after. Yeah. That's so cute. Well, like the mom loves you more than anything and will always be there for you. But then it's also like how...

How much does your mom need to like put on her shoulders when like you're an adult and like you're dealing with like bullshit? So true. But I just think therapy is like training and it's like you go to the gym, you go to face gym, go to mind gym. No, it's so true. Yeah. Because how many times now I find myself now where I'm like, I'm not going to tell my mom that because like,

she'll just worry about it and I'll like, and it'll end up figuring itself out and I don't want her to worry about me. But you also want to tell her everything. My brother and my dad, yeah, my brother and my dad will put everything on her. They don't give a shit about her. I'm like, who's going to protect this small lady? Only me. But my thing is if I don't tell her something, then if something happens in the future that she needs to know to fact, then it's like we're fucked up.

Then I have to be like, okay. Well, why didn't you tell me that? And we could have like dealt with it then. Like, just tell me these things. Yeah, like especially with the guy, if something happens and she didn't know a couple things leading up, it's very important to the story. And then you have to be like, oh God, I should have told you. Or sometimes I've told Kim things with guys and...

And she's like, I don't know if I needed to know that detail. I'm like, you want everything or nothing? Like, I don't I can't I can't do this with you again. Like, also, if you are scared to tell your mom about something a guy did to you, that means you need to break up with him. Yeah. Like I my go to person to text when I'm at parties and like guys like getting on my nerves is my mom.

And literally, she did it this weekend to me. She was like, why don't you fucking snap out of it and move on? He doesn't like you. And I'm like, thank you. I needed that. It's so easy to get in your own head at parties. You pretend you're in a movie and you're just sitting there. Yeah, like I'm the girl in the music video. And I'm like, why doesn't he notice me? It's so weird. Then you go in the bathroom, you look yourself in the mirror and you're like, how did we get here?

And then you need your mom to just be like Hey he sucks like go home and like Get eight hours of sleep She's like leave already Do you know what's fucking crazy we've talked 50 minutes

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let's wrap this up with some front page newsy it was like a light news day anyway so it'll be easy here's a crazy thing sofia richie went into a pilates class in la and was only in there for like a couple minutes and then left because then amelia hamlin walked into the pilates class and she didn't want to be in the same pilates class as her

Sophia's ex is Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin is currently dating Scott Disick and they were going to be at the same Pilates class. What an episode of Real Housewives that is. Wait, I thought you were talking about Nicole Richie for a second. No, Sophia. Okay. Also, what is this Pilates class? Because sounds like it's hot. It's called Forma Pilates. We love that. There's like drama happening in LA this week. People are like,

people in LA are losing their damn mind I feel like there's a lot of drama here's the question I have for you do you are you more intimidated or no no that's not you stay you stay you stay in that class you stay right you stay you leaving is like dramatic you're taking the L I don't know but also Pilates it is like you're trying to have your moment of peace but also that's also your time to kind of look at her and be like

What's up? Right. Because I feel like I've been, I've been both. I've been the ex-girlfriend and I've been the new girl, new girlfriend. And you have a very, like if I'm the ex-girlfriend and I see the new girlfriend, I'm like, bitch, I already had him. You're lucky for my sloppy seconds. You should send me a thank you note. Like if I wanted him back, I'd have him. Like,

Prosper. Have fun with them. Yes. Especially if you like stay there and just be like good. Like if you need any notes or like if you want to get out early, I can tell you like what to navigate. If you want me to tell you exactly how your relationship is going to go with him, I can tell you. Or like if you're the new girlfriend, like I have the same attitude. Like bitch, I'm the girlfriend. He didn't want you. You know, like you can play it both ways. But I also think regardless, it's like I hope that you guys are happy. Like it wasn't making me happy anymore. And that's.

That's so funny that that news broke. Like people are like, who do you think broke it? Someone in the class? Or do you think it was someone? I think someone from the class because like the article was like, oh, was spotted like leaving moments after she walked in. Unless it was like paparazzi who like saw her walk in, then she left. Then...

amelia walked in did you see that brandy glanville is like so pissed that she wasn't asked on real housewives of beverly hills he also like tweets out like random cast members so i don't know maybe bravo i mean brandy needs some cash right now brandy's like anyone want to sign a contract i think it's crazy like so she's really asking so she's basically like i was a huge part of last season she was like she was basically like i made their i made their season last year

I mean, I get it. I mean, I get it, too. Like, she did come in and, like, fuck shit up and, like, bring their season to, like, a pivot. I get it. But I guess there's, like, I think there's deeper things of why the relationship between her and Bravo might have. Like, is she good with Bravo? Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But I don't know if I would like be out there being like, hi, hire me, whatever. Okay, Ellen. Okay, next Ellen DeGeneres is getting a lot of backlash. She basically told this story on Jimmy Kimmel. That was like a it was like a marijuana themed episode on Jimmy Kimmel. And she told this story about how she had drank like these three weed drinks, I guess. What are they called? They're

They're called can C-A-N-N drinks. And they have like CBD in them or like THC or something. She drank three of them and then she took two melatonin and her wife was like on the bathroom floor and like so sick and she had to drive her to the emergency room to like get her appendix out. And she like told this story on Jimmy Kimmel and she was like, I shouldn't even be saying this. And people are like, you could have killed someone. Like, like this is not okay. This is like such privilege. She,

She randomly had to get her appendix out. It wasn't like because of the CBD. No, no, no, no. Like Ellen had taken all like the CBD done, like drank all the stuff. And then her wife, she had like walked into the bathroom. Her wife was like dying on the floor and had, and she was like, I like my stomach is so hurt. Isn't it crazy? We've both gotten our appendix out. Wild. We, we really understand this experience. It's the fucking worst. It feels like, no, it's the absolute worst. Yeah. And yours was really bad. Like you almost died.

Mine burst into a million pieces. That's like all they say is like, if this bursts, you're done. And you're like, I hope I don't, can I fart? Like what's happening? Yeah. You feel, I felt it when it burst too. It was like a sense of relief. It's like,

like i was like oh my god i'm okay and then you could like start to go delusional because like poison is basically getting in your body anyway i'm still here so it's fine basically if you have pain like shooting pain not just like diarrhea pain go to the hospital it's the craziest pain you know when you have to get your appendix out why are people upset because they're like how could you have drove driven her after you've like drank all these drinks and she was like it was basically like i got an adrenaline rush like i was fine i could drive a car

oh so she's responding to backlash now being like i was fine no she hasn't responded to anything actually so jimmy kimmel was like how did you drive yeah she and she was like i had an adrenaline rush but they were like she should have called the police yeah like she could have should have called an ambulance i don't know ellen's not having the best year people are not happy with ellen people are not happy and this was a recent interview yeah it's so crazy because like

I feel like I grew up watching her show. So like things that like come out that she's like not as nice of a person when her like tagline was like, be nice to everyone. It's so crazy. But also like the Internet is insane right now. And yeah, the Internet's a scary place. I just I have empathy for people. What's next? Snoop Dogg implies that he smoked weed with Obama. He said he did a new song. Yeah, he like said it in a new song. We love that.

Still sipping gin and juice while I'm smoking marijuana blue with Obama.

Kind of crazy. And honestly, I want them to have a reality show together. Well, lastly, there's Fro-Yo-Gate with Demi Lovato. Oh, yeah. Which, like, you were kind of behind on. Yeah, I'm behind on the Demi Lovato stuff. She put a whole IGTV kind of, like, apology. I need to watch the documentary. Oh, I watched Seaspiracy. We'll talk. Okay, keep going. Oh, okay. So, but basically, Demi Lovato was really mad at this small business in LA. Like, she walked in and she said there's, like, sugar-free options and, like...

and she had to leave because she got really triggered by it like with her eating disorder but the

But the problem was that she was like tagging this small business. Like there's obviously like she was trying to just diet culture, but this is like she's literally attacking a small business in L.A. And was like, do you better? Yeah. It was like was like sugar free cookies or something. And people were like people are diabetic and need sugar free options. But I think she also was emphasizing like using the term like guilt free, which she posted, which like I totally agree. Like guilt free needs to be out of like the whole diet thing.

Oh my God. Now I'm in New York City. There's like people just playing music outside. This is amazing. Good energy. It's crazy, right? But yeah, I agree that like people should stop using guilt free because it's like, oh, like Sue, you're guilty if you have like it just it's not healthy. But it's not this little Froyo's place's fault. Right. That they have a fucking sugar free cookie. I just think Demi is like that. Absolutely slaps. Yeah. So I got Froyo last night because she made me crave it. And it was cute. You were just thinking about it. Got it on Uber Eats.

you know they can deliver fro-yo so that's the moral of the story is um eat fro-yo but also like what kind you oh 16 handles yeah it was good i'm like a pink berry person sometimes oh i'm i'm full pink berry to the yogurt tartness but i always have a talenti pistachio ice cream pint in my freezer available yeah available whenever you need a hot take i like mochi on my fro-yo

Wow, hot take. I absolutely hate mochi. I also hate matcha. Well, hot take, what did mochi ever do to you? Oh, hot take. But you know what? This is also what makes us us. Because if you ate all the mochi, what would we be doing? What would we do? I had a full fight with a friend once because she's like, matcha tastes like dirt. And I was like... I hate matcha. You have to just put a little sugar in it. It's amazing. Matcha bar? No, wait, not matcha bar. What's up? Matcha lot. Matcha, matcha, cha-cha. Yeah, cha-cha, matcha. Oh my God.

Okay, so Chacha Matcha is this place that these two guys... They're like party boys. It's very trending. Cool. They're like party... I think their dad owns the...

some famous restaurants in like disney or something and in disney what's it called like the rock sorry my dad's like really big in disney now i need to look it up cha-cha matcha oh my god when this dropped in soho i would go there every day people lost their damn minds i love you so matcha yeah and they had okay basically the guy hard hard hard

What's the restaurant? Hard Rock? Yeah, Hard Rock Hotels. Oh, Hard Rock Cafe. Sorry, Hard Rock Cafe, whatever. So their dads are in that. Anyway, it's cool, whatever. Cha-cha-ma-cha. I guess they're still doing their shit. Good for them. With that said, what happened with Seaspiracy? Hannah...

You can't eat fish. I've never, no. I've never been so into a documentary. I watched it by myself. Yeah. And I like kept looking around to be like. Is anyone else seeing this? I got to talk to someone about this. What the fuck is going on here? It was the craziest thing ever. Like basically the ocean is a swamp and our salmon is white and they dye it pink. Like I've been. I love how that's what you got from it. Our salmon's white. Yeah.

I have watched a lot of documentaries like this before. Like I've watched like one on like chickens and I've watched one on like eating meat and like the meat industry. And you order McDonald's after. Yeah. And I'm just like, cool, but I'm probably going to keep stuffing my face with the chicken nuggets. Like I don't care. This is the first time I've watched something where I'm I was so grossed out.

And so just like, wait, this is crazy. And like, don't want fish. Although sometimes during it, I did think about sushi. But then I was like, oh, I can't. Did I have a poke bowl yesterday? Yes. However, no, I do think that the sickest part about the documentary is when he talks to all the places who were like trying to help the oceans and they're not addressing the actual issue where he's like, what about fishing nets? What about commercial fishing? But this is the problem. At the end, they're kind of like, what do you do? And it's like, not eat fish. Yes. But like,

Eating fish is not the actual issue. It's the system and it sucks that we'd have to not eat fish to like fix the system. It's like the government won't do anything. So the only thing we can do to try and help is like ruin the fishing industry.

yeah it's just the crazy but here's the other thing they were like okay the ocean like we're gonna die if the ocean turns into a swamp yeah and like by like 2042 like it will be done like we'll be done yeah but like if we could change it that was like the promising part it was like but we could actually course correct yes yes

Oh, God. So everyone, watch Seaspiracy. We got a lot of great comments on dope documentaries. I love dope documentaries. I'm going to hit the Demi Lovato one next, and then I might get crazy and go Tina Turner. Hell yes. Hell yeah. We love you guys so much. And oh, that's the police coming for me. I'll talk to you guys later. Thanks for giggling with us. Bye.