Tiffany Moon on How to Write Yourself a Prescription for Joy | EP 6o8
54:22 Share

The wrongs we must right. The fights we must win. The future we must secure together for our nation. This is what's in front of us. This determines what's next for all of us. We are Marines. We were made for this.

Coming up next on Passion Struck. If some people want to drag you back to your old self and it's because they don't like change or they like the old you and they're uncomfortable with you changing,

But as I've gotten to different levels of my life, I've had to let some friends go. Not like breaking up with them or not that I don't care about them anymore. My single girlfriends that want to go out and have girls wine night on Thursdays for three hours. I don't have time for that right now in my life. So I think in different seasons of your life, different people come in and out and that's okay.

Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the

power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Welcome to Episode 608

of PassionStruck. Whether this is your first time tuning in or you've been with us from the start, I am so grateful you're here. Together, we're building a global movement rooted in one powerful idea. You don't have to settle. You can live with intention, lead with purpose, and make what truly matters matter most.

This month, we're in the middle of a transformative arc, one that centers on a truth we don't talk about enough. Mental health is not a side note. It's the root system of a meaningful life. On Tuesday, I spoke with Dr. Andrew Newberg, a pioneer in neurotheology, about how belief, meaning,

and spiritual practices aren't just abstract ideas. They're embedded in our brains wiring and essential to our mental well-being. And then this Friday, I'll be releasing a solo episode on mental health habits that anchor you in uncertain times. In it, I'll explore practical science-backed tools to help you cultivate resilience, emotional clarity, and a life aligned with your values, especially when everything feels uncertain or overwhelming.

But first, today's guest is someone who knows the price of pushing too hard and the power of reclaiming your joy. I'm joined by Dr. Tiffany Moon, a double board certified anesthesiologist, entrepreneur, former cast member of The Real Housewives of Dallas, and author of the book Joy Prescriptions. Through her personal journey with burnout,

perfectionism and rediscovering meaning, Dr. Moon challenges the myths of toxic success culture and offers a new way forward. In this conversation, we explore the emotional cost of high achievement and people pleasing, what burnout feels like and how to recognize it before it breaks you, why reclaiming joy is not frivolous but essential, and how self-worth and rest can become your most powerful forms of resistance.

As always, I want to thank you for being part of the PassionStruck movement. Your support helped us reach two major milestones.

First, Million Podcasts named us the number three life leadership podcast, and we were also the winner of the 2025 Gold Stevie Award for Best Independent Podcast at the American Business Awards. If you're just discovering the show, be sure to explore our episode starter packs, curated playlists to help you dive deeper into topics like purpose, emotional mastery, human-powered leadership, and more. You can find them at passionstruck.com.

dot com slash starter packs or on Spotify. Don't forget to subscribe to our growing YouTube channel where you'll find full episodes, highlight rules and exclusive behind the scenes content. And for weekly tools and reflections, join the ignition room, our private community for high performers who want to live intentionally in real time. Links are in the show notes.

Now, let's dive into a conversation that's honest, healing, and deeply human. Here's my interview with the remarkable Dr. Tiffany Moon. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely honored today to have Dr. Tiffany Moon join us on PassionStruck. Welcome, Tiffany. Hi, John. Nice to be here.

So I just had to open up with this question. You describe yourself as a loving tiger mom, a mix of high expectations and deep affection. How do you hold those two forces together in your parenting? And how has that evolved from how you were raised? Well, I was raised with just a tiger mom. So there was not that deep sense of affection. I never heard, I love you as a child. I'm proud of you. Nothing like that.

So I took what I consider to be the good parts of a tiger mom, which is placing a lot of emphasis on respect, education, being kind to other people, but then also showing my kids that I love them not because of what they achieve, but because of who they are. And I think that is such an important element, especially today. I remember interviewing a woman named Jennifer Wallace, who wrote a great book called Never Enough, which was really fascinating.

about what happens when achievement culture takes hold like it is in so many kids, teenagers, college students throughout the country right now and really throughout the world. So I think that's such an important message that we're going to talk a lot more about today.

So you are a trauma anesthesiologist who also dances to WAP on stage and proudly says she can be both. What finally made you decide to stop compartmentalizing your identity and let the world see all of you?

I think I just got fed up, John. You get into your like mid thirties and there's this joke that like, I don't have any Fs left to give probably because I gave them all out in my twenties. You just get to the point where you're like, I just want to be me. I want to be me around my family and friends and spouse and work.

And it's like when you have to hide certain facets of yourself, you're not showing up as your whole authentic self. And it just sucks. It doesn't feel authentic. And I always felt when I was a practicing academic anesthesiologist, which I still am, that I needed to act right.

look and behave a certain way for other people to take me seriously. When I walk into a patient's room who has cancer or who got in a bad car accident and needs to have their femur pinned, and I say, "Hi, I'm Dr. Moon. I'm going to be your anesthesiologist today," I thought that I needed to look and behave a certain way for people to take me seriously because I look young, I'm Asian, I'm small, and I'm a woman.

And a lot of times I would walk into patients' rooms and they would be like, oh, are you going to be our doctor? And I'm like, I pretty much just said that I, like I introduced myself as the anesthesiologist. And then halfway through the conversation, sometimes the patient or their family member will be like, do you know when the doctor's coming in? And I'm like, what are, who did you think I was this whole time? And I just really thought I needed to be serious and have a facade of professionalism.

So no talking about fashion or beauty, no talking about rap music, just had to be very prim and proper at all times. And I think somewhere in my mid thirties, I was like, I'm fed up. Like I want, I just want to be myself. I want to be funny. I want to be able to joke around. I don't want to have this facade of seriousness all the time, just so that people will take me seriously.

Thank you for sharing that. And I think that is a funny story, honestly. That's really funny. I don't know that most people know all those things.

It's unbelievable. My wife just had surgery. She had to get spine surgery. And I have to say that her anesthesiologist team was one of the better ones I've ever seen, their bedside manner, how they interacted with her. But it is one of those things that you're the most worried about. And I just look back at her experience and like you did, they made it very clear what their roles were. So it's just so interesting how you brought that up.

I've heard you say recently that I have everything that as a little girl or teenager I could have ever dreamed of having. And that's such a powerful reflection. When did you realize you were finally living the dream you had always wanted and did it feel the way you had expected it to be?

Oh my gosh, that's such a good question. I don't know if it was like one day a light bulb went off in my head and I thought like, wow, look at everything I have. When that little girl who was six years old was on a plane by herself coming from Beijing to JFK, not knowing any English.

She could not imagine that this was the life she would live, that she would be at a professor at a medical school, have people coming up to her, telling them that they're inspired by her, having this big, beautiful house that she lives in. Like I never had grandiose dreams like this.

But the fact of the matter was, and they talk about this hedonistic treadmill, you get used to having nice things. And I don't mean that I'm not grateful. It's like you hit an achievement or a goal or an object. And then it's always what's next? What's next? It's a lot of what's next. And I've been chasing what's next basically my entire life. And through writing joy prescriptions is when I figured out that the joy has to be in the journey because it's not in the destinations.

And I'm so glad you introduced the book because that's where I'm going to next. So I was joking with you before you came on that oftentimes people see a book come out and they're like, I can't believe how quickly you wrote that only to realize inside it's something that has taken years, if not decades to create. And yours is really a book about your entire life. In your case, it's really three decades

of coming to fruition, explaining your story. How does it feel now to have this out in the world?

It feels amazing. I can't wait for people to read it and to give me some feedback. I really hope that it resonates with people and that they relate to it because growing up as an immigrant to this country, like academic achievement was the be all end all of success to my parents. Right. And I think a lot of people also grew up like that, like having to do extra homework on the weekends, go to Chinese school, get a good SAT score. It's that chasing of the goal that I was always doing as a child.

And even though that brought me a lot of success as it would appear inside, I felt quite empty and like I didn't really know who I was. The problem is when you measure yourself and your worth by your achievements and accolades, when those things stop coming in, you lose your identity a little bit. I didn't know who I was. So I had to figure that all out from the inside out.

I can completely relate with your story. First, I wasn't an immigrant myself, but my grandparents were all immigrants. And so because of that, they really instilled in us the same thing that I think your parents instilled with you, really, that not only you had to work hard, but you had to show up

stronger than anyone else around you because this isn't going to be easy for you. And so for me, it created this high achievement impact to my life where I felt the same way you did. In my book, I write about it like I was wearing a mask of pretense for a lot of my life, showing one thing to the outside world, but feeling something completely different inside.

And similar to you, you write, "I used to think that joy was a destination, but I was too busy to enjoy the process. That's how I felt for so many years. I kept achieving and achieving only not to find that joy." Why do you think so many of us fall into that trap? And what finally helped you to step off the treadmill that you described earlier?

I think it's a lot of societal conditioning. I think we're led to believe as kids, like if you do a, B and C, you'll stay on the right track and you'll get to the finish line and everything will be unicorns, rainbows and puppies. And it's just not. And what I did for so long is I had my head down focused on the finish line.

that I didn't get to look around and stop and smell the roses. Like I don't have memories of a robust college experience because I literally lived at the library and was studying so hard. Like I remember going to maybe a few frat parties and things like that.

But I just, I don't have these like robust memories because you have to spend time with people in order to make those memories. And I was just with my books all the time. And I'm just like, I don't have many regrets in life, but I wish that I would have just slowed down a little bit and enjoyed the journey a little bit instead of racing singularly towards the finish line. Because the fact of the matter is there's no prize at the end. I thought that there was going to be a prize and there wasn't.

So what you were describing, I think, is the trap that so many of us fall into, myself included. And if I have it right, you graduated medical school when you were 23? Correct. Talk about being on the fast track.

That's what I'm talking about. That's why, like when I was at Cornell, I didn't get to do much because I was taking 17 to 19 credits a semester. My dad didn't want me to take what's called a gap year, which is when you take a year off between college and medical school. He wanted me to go straight through. One of the semesters, I was taking organic chemistry and studying for the MCAT and trying to have a social life that probably failed. And so I missed out on so many things.

experiences and connections because I prioritize the books.

And all that so that I could go around telling people that I graduated at the top of my medical school class at the age of 23. And it's no one cares about that anymore. Like I don't meet strangers, charity events or board meetings. And hi, I'm Tiffany. I graduated from medical school when I was 23. No one cares. It didn't do anything. I just got to start residency earlier than everybody, you know, and I just wish I would have slowed down and enjoyed the process a little bit more.

Tiffany, you're a respected physician, educator, mentor, now author, and yet you took what many might consider to be a very surprising leap by joining The Real Housewives of Dallas. What made you say yes to that opportunity and what were you afraid that it might have cost you? Very good question, John. The way The Real Housewives work is that at the end of each season, they always ask the current cast members if they have any friends that would be good to join the show.

And so I had been recruited several years before the year that you saw me on TV. And I had always said no, because I was working as a full time academic anesthesiologist and I had twin toddlers that were potty training at home.

And I just said, no, it's not for me. I had never seen the show before, but I knew what it was. And my take on the show was that it was a bunch of middle-aged women arguing and going to parties and things like that. And I just thought that it wasn't for me.

But then around 35 ish, my husband says that I had my midlife crisis. And that's when I felt a little bit lost. I was doing a little bit of soul searching and my friend came knocking again. And she said, the producers really want to talk to you. They think you'd be perfect for the show. Will you just have a conversation with them?

And I said, fine, I can't promise anything, but I'll talk to them. So of course, one thing led to another. And I got the call in 2021 that they wanted me to be the newest real housewife of Dallas. And I had all but forgotten about it since having the Zoom meeting like a month prior. And I didn't really think I would get picked. I really didn't.

And then I had a lot to contemplate. I made an Excel spreadsheet of the pros and cons of joining Real Housewives, because that's basically how I make all my important decisions in life.

Primary of concern was how it would impact my professional reputation because I've been working my whole life to be where I am now. I work at a medical school. I have medical students and residents who look up to me, patients, obviously. But I talked to my husband about it and he said, babe, I'm not worried because you always handle yourself well.

Like these women aren't going to ruffle your feathers. Like just be yourself. They can't put words in your mouth. They can only show what you do and say. And I think that you'll be fine. I think that you'll not embarrass yourself. I don't know if that ended up coming true. People who have watched season five can opine on that. But overall, I am glad that I did the show.

Because it gave me a lot of exposure. And now I can talk about things that are really important to me, like gender equity in the workplace and helping with a lot of charity organizations that I work with here in Dallas. So one of my really close friends lives in Dallas, probably not too far from you. And he recently opened up

the new Medal of Honor Museum that's right over by where the Cowboys Stadium is. But this person, Chris Cassidy, also happened to do a reality TV show, but his was filmed by Disney and it was called Amongst the Stars. And he was the first astronaut where they ever went behind the scenes to really look at

the personal side of being an astronaut. So it started when he was planning on going on a mission, something happened with one of the Russian rockets that they were using to launch them ended up burning up and it pushed everything away. So he thought he was not going to get the opportunity. So it takes him through that disappointment to getting the opportunity again, to going up to be the commander of the space station.

But it was really interesting to see a person I know for that many years on screen. And when I asked him about it, it was so interesting because he said nothing was really scripted. I just went with what was going on and the cameras were there. Is that similar?

to what happens with you all? Actually, one of the chapters in the book is all about Real Housewives. And one of the segments is about if the show is scripted or not. So I'll give you a little spoiler alert, but you have to read the book to find out the rest. It's not scripted, but Real Housewives in particular is very heavily produced.

So you have these producers whispering in your ear, hey, don't forget to bring up this. Don't forget to talk about this. And they egg you on to have some moments of conflict, if you will. But they never give you lines. They never say, oh, you have to say X, Y, and Z. But they basically tell you that you need to talk about something. It's interesting. I happen to be, I live down here in Tampa Bay and I happen to be out at the beach one day having lunch.

And they were filming a show called Siesta Key. And they were about ready to film a scene at the restaurant I was at. And it was so interesting because all the actors were doing their own thing. And then all of a sudden, a couple Lamborghinis pull up.

They go sit maybe 20 feet away from me and start doing this scene. And it was very clear there weren't any teleprompters, anything. And watching them, they get into this heated argument amongst them. And it was so interesting to see what was going on in a completely, I guess they got the idea of what the scene needed to be, but the whole argument, everything else was created by them on the fly. Yes.

Yes. And you're very acutely aware that the producers want to make a moment. So if you don't end up getting in a heated exchange and you're just sitting there pow-wowing and being nice, it's not going to work. You're going to sit there for a long time. I learned very quickly when I was filming that I either needed to give the producers what they wanted or I was going to be there all day. Exactly.

because they'll do it again and again. And you can't leave until your scene is done and you're not done until you give them what they want. So sometimes I just would cave in and just be like, tell me what, oh, you want me to get in a fight? Sure, I'll get in a fight. Then can I be done? Then can I go home? I'm currently writing my next book and I start the book out by talking about another doctor. And this doctor had gone through

medical school and then the seven to eight years of residency afterwards, she was five years into her practice where she was working with children who were cancer patients. And she just came out of a meeting, unfortunately, where she had to tell the family that their child was not going to survive. And she describes the situation after that as she was driving home and she had become

as you write in the book, so frantically trying to save everyone else when the person she needed to save most was herself. And in that moment, she wanted to drive off a bridge and she just described it as this profound feeling inside that she had lost her sense of significance. Did you ever feel like that before you had your turning point?

Yes, for sure. And this turning point, it was very gradual. It's not one day I woke up and the sun was shining and the birds were chirping and I decided to practice gratitude. And no, it wasn't like that. And I still struggle with it.

But I noticed probably around six to seven years into my career post residency as an academic anesthesiologist working in a level one trauma center, that burnout was on the rise. And I used to think, oh, burnout, that's such a buzzword. It's like what people use as a cop out when they can't take it. Not me. Like I'm a soldier. I can take 24 hour trauma call. Don't need to check on me. I can hold my bladder. I'm fine. I always...

prided myself on being a workhorse and not some like dainty flower that needed self-care time. And then we were made to take this thing called the Maslach Burnout Inventory. And it's like a quiz that you take. And it was like, do you ever feel like your work doesn't matter? Do you have a sense of depersonalization? Do you ever feel like you're lacking empathy? And I was going through the questions and I was like, is this what burnout is?

I didn't really understand what it was. And then when I got the score of my burnout inventory, it was very high. And I was like, "Ruh-roh."

And looking back, I think I basically burned myself out. I was like redlining my engine from the age of six when I landed in America until about 36. Like I never let up on the gas. Like you said, I graduated from medical school at the age of 23. I went to the best anesthesia residency program in the country at UCSF.

I finished when I was 28 years old, got married, signed on to be a faculty, struggled with infertility for over a year, and then got pregnant with my twin daughters who were born when I was 30. Then I was doing all this academic mentoring, clinical trials. One weekend per month, I would take a 24-hour trauma call, which is Saturday 7 a.m. to Sunday at 7 a.m.,

And sometimes I slept some of those 24 hours and sometimes I didn't. And then Sunday I would rest and play with the kids and then Monday start the week over. So I was just like pedal to the metal, whatever you want to call it. And I think I burned myself out because I didn't invest in self-care time. I basically thought that self-care was a luxury and not a necessity. And I really had to learn the hard way.

Thank you for sharing that. I know it's not easy to talk about. The person you're talking about is Christina Maslach, who basically coined the term burnout. I've had her as a guest on this podcast. So if a listener wants to go back and can search for our episode that we did, but she does have a whole inventory like you talked about so that people can take themselves. And I know when I myself faced burnout, what you're describing

is so similar to my experience. I remember for a long time feeling like something was off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It was just like the world wasn't as bright as it had once been. My mind just wasn't as sharp. And then over time,

It's like it happens so gradually in the background day to day, you don't really know what's happening. But over time, the world just keeps continuing to dim and dim until a point where I became emotionally numb. Like it was the worst feeling I had ever in my life experienced because all of a sudden I didn't feel like I mattered to myself. I didn't feel like I mattered to other people.

because i didn't feel like i didn't matter to myself i wasn't showing up in the relationships like i used to and is that a good way to describe at all what you felt yourself yeah exactly i had this

sense of depersonalization and that my work didn't matter. Sometimes in the OR, I would maintain homeostasis for a patient, keep their blood pressure up, transfuse blood, things like that. But I knew that ultimately their outcome wasn't going to be good. I knew that. It felt like putting a bandaid on a hole. It's not going to heal it.

And it just felt insignificant. What am I really doing? Am I really helping this patient or helping the world? Should I focus my efforts somewhere else where I can actually make a meaningful impact on people's lives? I felt so lost. You wrote in chapter 11, all I wanted to do was fit in. And that's what you've talked a lot about your early years. And you wrote, and now that I'm older, all I want to do is just stand out. And I

Like people ask me, how did you go from feeling like you were so stuck to where you are today? You're an author, you've got a podcast, everything. And I'm like, well, the mistake everyone seems to make is that they think that there's just some switch that you can flip and you're going to return to you. And that's not at all what happens. It's been such a gradual process to lose yourself.

that it's going to be a series of microgains that you have to start initiating choices that you're making to regain yourself. Does that analogy hold true for you?

Yes, that is very true. It is not an overnight thing or a weekly thing. Like I said, it's always a work in progress. I'm always trying to get back to my truest, most authentic self. And sometimes I catch myself doing things that prick me a little bit. Oh, why am I doing that? That doesn't feel good to me. So I make mistakes all the time, but yeah, it's having that

true North star of knowing who you are and doing the things that you want to do. And not because you're a people pleaser or everyone thinks you should or shouldn't be doing something. Yeah. And I think that this quote here that you wrote is something that I think is important for the audience to hear. You've talked about this, but this quote really brought it out. You wrote my entire self-worth was wrapped up in achievement. If I wasn't useful,

How would I demonstrate my worth? And to me, that sums up what you were talking about. And we've discussed this at length. We've gone through some of the small signs that you knew it was happening. I knew it was happening. But I just have to ask a lot of times when I think of the health care profession, it doesn't really allow for joy or softness, especially, I think, in women.

How do you navigate that double bind between being respected and trying to be real? It's very difficult. Sometimes as a woman, you have to be stern in order to be taken seriously. If the patient all of a sudden in the middle of surgery is not doing well and I need to command the attention of the room and I raise my voice, people are like, "Oh, she was very stringent there or very bossy."

But if a male does it, then he's seen as taking charge and getting control of the room. So I think there is a double standard when it comes to how men and women have to behave in the workplace. Sometimes after something terrible has just happened, I try to comfort the nurses or comfort my medical students, but I see my male colleagues just take off their gloves and leave the room.

So you have to balance this assertiveness and ability to command the room and command respect of those who you work with, but still have a softer side so that you don't get labeled with a certain word. It's difficult. Oh, it absolutely is. And one of the things that you write about is that you needed to add a laugh track to your life, but at first you didn't know how. And I think so many people feel that. And in fact,

One of the most popular articles I've ever written, and I just wrote this thing on a whim one weekend, but I wrote this article on the importance of adult play. Because as we get older, it seems like we play less and less. And when I think about being a kid, that's what brought me the most joy was going out and creating a fort with my friends or just walking around, pretending to be explorers out in the neighborhood and just discovering the world around us.

So I know that this is probably difficult for a lot of people. It was difficult for me. It still is difficult for me. What's your advice to listeners or viewers on how do you take the first step? How did you find what that first step is to and choosing joy over the constant pursuit of perfection?

The first step is to not take yourself so seriously because if you're serious and like, oh, I'm an anesthesiologist, I'm a surgeon, I'm a CEO, then you're not going to get on the floor and do the funny things and make sounds and pretend to be an animal. Or in my case in 2020, when we were all stuck at home during the pandemic, that's when I started doing TikTok dances and making like quarantine fashion and like making a dress out of toilet paper or something like that. The first step is to get over yourself.

You're not that big of a deal. Everyone's just trying to have a good time and you will be much more likable and relatable if you just let down your guard and just be yourself. So for me, that was the number one thing. The second thing is to stop caring what other people think.

I have a coaching business and I sometimes work with my clients on business coaching or social media coaching and marketing. And they'll be like, oh no, Dr. Moon, like I can't possibly do what you do on social media and make these skits or post pictures of myself. Like I, and I'm like, why not? Why can't you?

Oh, well, I have patients and my grandmother, she's like very religious. I don't want her to. And it's, you have to stop living your life according to what other people might think or say about you. What a terrible way to live your life that every decision about something you want to do, you first have to be like, oh, but what will other people say or think about me? So step two is to just

abandon other people's opinions. Truly. Most of the time it's people like sitting at their house, not doing a whole lot that are calling you out. Oh, who does she think she is posting on social media? Or, oh, now she's starting a business. Like she didn't go to school for that. She doesn't know what she's doing. Somebody will always have something to say about you putting yourself out there. But like I say, you don't get to talk about me. Who's in the arena when you're sitting on the sidelines.

It's interesting. I interviewed Robin Sharma a while back, and one of the things he shared with me was you can either spend your life playing on your phone and watching videos and all those things, or you can choose to serve the world and change it, but you can't do both.

And I think to your point, so many people observe others, especially as they're seeing them make life changes. And sometimes it's the people closest to you who are the most critical about you. And so in my own book, I wrote a chapter on this concept I call the mosquito auditor. And I gave three examples. One is a bloodsucker, someone who's out there to take all your joy for their benefit. Another was the invisible suffocator, someone

who is constantly telling you no matter what you're trying to do, all the things that are wrong with your approach or the impact it's going to have, and then the pain in the asses. My point, and they're funny names, was just that as you're on this path to start trying to improve yourself, sometimes it's the mosquitoes in our life, the people who we think are the most benign that do the most damage.

And we don't even know they're doing it because sometimes they've been there our whole lives and we let them slip in and they become this constant negative voice telling us we can't instead of we can. Did that hold true for you at all? Oh, for sure. When I started my candle business, some of my friends in medicine were like,

you're already a doctor and you publish and do research. Isn't that enough for you? It's like the same people who think that ambition is bad. And I said, I want to do something outside of medicine. I want to flex my creativity and have fun. And

And they just didn't understand. I had a friend who was morbidly obese and she finally decided she was tired of being big. She started working out, eating right, hired a personal trainer. And one of her friends would call her and ask to go have tacos and margaritas on Friday night.

And she's no, I don't want to because I have training with my trainer Saturday morning. I don't want to be tired. I don't want to eat tacos. Some people want to drag you back to your old self and it's because they don't like change or they like the old you and they're uncomfortable with you changing.

But as I've gotten to different levels of my life, I've had to let some friends go. Not like breaking up with them or not that I don't care about them anymore. My single girlfriends that want to go out and have girls wine night on Thursdays for three hours. I don't have time for that right now in my life. So I think in different seasons of your life, different people come in and out and that's okay.

So as I was doing research for this, Tiffany, there's a story that I'm going to tie into this about you going to fashion week and being asked,

But who was watching your kids? That line hit me. What do you think that reveals about how we treat ambitious mothers and vicious parents, et cetera? Yeah. Have you ever gone on a guy's fishing trip or something and you go back to work on Monday in the office and your guy colleagues are like, oh, John, who is watching your kids while you're on your fishing trip? It doesn't get asked.

That was just one instance. Also, when I'm on some panel or giving a keynote talk at the end, they'll be like, oh, how do you manage to do it all, Dr. Moon? You're an anesthesiologist, a mother, an entrepreneur, now an author, a professional speaker. And I asked my husband, because he speaks too, he does like real estate. And I'll say, babe, when you give like panels and keynotes and stuff like that, does anyone

ever ask you like how you do it all or what your tips are for work-life balance? And he's, huh? And I was like, exactly. That's what I thought.

So there is a double standard when it comes to professional women who work outside of the home, that there's the societal construct that they need to make sure the house is managed to and do all of their duties outside of the house. And there's a lot going on. I never pretend to do it all perfectly. And I'm very transparent about all the help that I have and how much juggling it takes to

to do everything. But again, I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want to stay home and be a housewife. There's nothing wrong with that. That's not where my personality is. I need to be working on five different projects at one time. So I just wish that society would stop pitting working moms against not working moms and ask women how they're juggling it all. Well,

Well, one thing that you have done really well is grow your social channels. Your TikTok has over a million followers. Instagram, when I looked today, had over 800,000 followers. And I was looking at some of your videos. One of them, I saw you were in scrubs. You had just come from 10-hour surgeries. And all you wanted to do was hit the bed. But instead, you said, I have this rule that I don't wear work clothes into the bed. So you lay down next to it. And it was a funny skit.

But when you think about yourself doing that, it's a whole different ballgame than actually putting that video up there. How did you cross that gap that so many of us struggle with showing that fun, authentic part of ourselves to the world? I saw that Dr. Anthony Yoon did an endorsement for your book. He's a friend of mine, and I love his videos as well. And I think he shows that side like you do.

Yeah, I love Tony. He's such a good friend of mine. I think it goes back to what I was saying before, not taking yourself so seriously, not caring what other people think.

I have so much fun shooting my TikToks and Instagram reels. I really do. Sometimes I'm by myself, but usually my assistant is with me. And there are days, John, that we're like shooting TikToks and we are laughing so hard. Like I'm trying not to pee my pants. Like we're just, it's so fun that it doesn't feel like work. And for a long time, I used to feel that way about anesthesia, but because of some political things that happened at work, it sucked some of the fun out of it. But

But I just wish that everyone had some moments in their everyday life where they could lean towards joy and laughter and being silly. Sometimes we adults like just take ourselves way too seriously. Like when's the last time you were truly silly with yourself or your children or your spouse? It's fun. And it reminds us that we as adults need to play just like you said in that article that you wrote.

Well, Tiffany, I think your chapter 12 is a masterclass in vulnerability. And you write about doing stand-up comedy for the first time. And I remember when I did improv for the first time. And you say doing stand-up is kind of like having sex. The first time is scary and awkward. And I have to tell you, I laughed out loud when I read that.

Because it's so true. I remember when I did improv, they have you play these games before you ever go in the room to get in front of everyone and improvise. And we did this exercise where

where we didn't know anyone. And all of a sudden, they turned on the music and whoever you stopped in front of, we didn't know what the exercise was going to be. But I get put in front of this 24, 25-year-old woman, and we now have to stare at each other for five minutes. And afterwards, guess what the other person was thinking? And it was awkward. It was terrible. It felt like 20 hours, not five minutes. But it was fun at the end of the day. But

but we rarely, as you said, put ourselves in these positions. What was the scariest thing for you about doing comedy for the first time?

that I would completely bomb and then be standing there on stage. And there would be like crickets, like you tell a joke and it doesn't land. And it's just like silence when you expected some chuckling. And standup comedy is probably one of the scariest things that I've ever done. Now I've never gone like bungee jumping or jumping out of a plane because I have a very strict rule in my life where if I have to sign a waiver before I do it, like it's not going

I don't even do roller coasters. I think there is so much personal growth that comes from being made to do a standup performance. I think every adult should be like forced to do an improv open mic night some point in their lives because you learn so much about yourself and coming up with a 10 to 15 minute set where it's just you and a microphone on stage, like that takes hours.

hours, tens and 20s of hours if you want it to be good. And it gives me immense respect for the comedians out there who are hosting award shows and having one hour specials on Netflix. Netflix has not called me yet for a special. I'm still waiting. But immense respect for people who are gifted in that they're able to make us laugh. I think laughter is so underrated as the best medicine. It really is.

I've read stories about Jerry Seinfeld and others who before they would ever get on stage are going into a whole bunch of clubs with lots of material just seeing what's going flat, what's working and

I got to watch a documentary on Steve Martin and how much he struggled before he hit it hard. He struggled for well over a decade, just hitting flat again and again. And it just makes me think what kind of courage he had to just keep trying to pursue his dream when it was like every week for so many years, he just hit roadblock after roadblock until he finally got to the next level. And I think that's,

It reminds me of this story. I mentioned Chris earlier. I have another friend who's an astronaut and she told me that one of the things that she sees today in youngsters is that people want to live the dream, but they don't want to do what it takes to get the dream, so to speak. And I think there's a

I think what we've been talking about today is really important because it's one thing to chase the dream, but it's another thing to have fun while you're doing it. And I think that's in many ways what gets people stuck is they lose the joy along the way of pursuing the very thing that they wanted. Do you think that's a reality?

Yes, that was me 10 years ago. I was so focused on the finish line and getting there as fast as possible, but there was very little joy or creativity or laughter on the way there. And that's when I realized that something needed to change, that I didn't want to live the last 40 years of my life like I had lived the first 40.

And what your friend says about young people is true. They look on YouTube, TikTok, whatever, and they see Mr. Beast is giving away a Lamborghini or this influencer lives in this $10 million mansion. And I'm like, oh my God, we are teaching kids the wrong thing. You ask kids what they want to be these days, like 20% of them say an influencer. Back when I was a child, that was not an option. First of all, the only two options were doctor or lawyer. But anyhow, it's just...

Social media gives the perception that if you just get lucky and make a few videos, you can become a multimillionaire. And it's simply not true. Even the successful content creators, maybe some of them got lucky, but they've also been consistently putting out content for years and years before they became a household name. And other people, what I noticed about the young people these days is they lack the persistence and the perseverance to become successful. They have very little experience.

ability to handle stressors and what I call frustration tolerance. Something's not working and they just lose it. And this isn't working, mom. This, my iPad's not well, did you charge it last night? The problem is that we have now given the children and adolescents everything at their fingertips in the form of a smartphone and now AI. And I

And I'm afraid that it's making us more dumb and more disconnected, which is the opposite of what you would think looking at the surface. I remember when I was growing up and we were given a small allowance for doing chores around the house, which we actually had to do, cut the yard, take the garbage out. There were things that we had to do to earn it, but my parents were very conservative. So if there was anything beyond the minimum wage,

viable clothing, things you needed in your room that you wanted, you had to find a way to get it yourself. And so it caused me to get a paper out when I was in fifth grade because I wanted other things. And it taught me perseverance. It taught me that I had to collect money from people who didn't always want to pay me for delivering their paper. But you learn

You learn, as you were talking about what Angela Duckworth writes about in Grit, you learn grit. You learn what it's like to have a passion and what it means to persevere and what it means to do the hard things. And those lessons carry on through the rest of your life. So I really think that is something that we need to continue to instill in our children because the older you get, life doesn't get any easier. Let's face it.

It only gets harder. I love Angela Duckworth. Back when I was our director of resident recruitment, I was responsible for looking at the over 1000 applications we got for our 20 anesthesia residency spot. And I would always grade our applicants on their academics,

their extracurriculars and research. And then I made this thing called grit and I would grade them on it, whatever, after interviewing them, looking at their track record of being involved in activities over time. And I would always assign everybody a grit score.

So maybe their academics was like a six or seven. Maybe they weren't a great test taker. And I'm like, but this guy is going to show up in the OR every single day. He's not going to have excuses. He's not going to take shortcuts. So grit, I'm telling you, is everything. I completely agree. I used it as the foundation for my own book and build on top of it because I believe in it so much. So let's get back to your book. You offer readers a prescription at the end, literally.

Things like writing a comedy skit, dancing, even finding the fun in traffic. Why were those your final takeaways?

Those are the takeaways that I took away from the different chapters of my life. Stop the cycle of compare and despair, be open to love in unexpected places. My husband right now, we just celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary. If you asked me when I was 25 or 20 years old, who would be my husband, this is not who I would have painted. And I think sometimes we become so rigid in what we think is good on paper or best for us.

that we lose sight of other opportunities. So I wrote the joy prescriptions for the readers, but secretly I wrote them for myself too. - So today we've talked a lot about different roles that each of us has had during our lives and you keep creating them for yourself. You also have a wine product, I understand.

But you close with this beautiful insight. We have to question the roles and expectations others have imposed on us and say no to those roles if they're not working for us. What's your advice to a listener if they have a role that they need to let go of, but they don't know how? I'm of the mindset that you just got to do it. There's the slower you peel it is the slower you peel it.

I would just rip that bandaid off. If your relationship is not working for you, then end it instead of staying in the same dead end relationship that you know is not bringing you joy, but you're scared. There are certain things that are intertwined because every moment you stay in a relationship that's not working for you is another day that you are not available to be in a different relationship that does truly bring you joy. If your job is not working for you, if you don't feel that the work you do is valued and you don't like the people you're

work with, then get another job. So many people that I coach tell me they feel stuck and I am empathetic to that sentiment, but oftentimes it's us that keeps us stuck, our mindset and our beliefs. And sometimes you just need a little push from someone you like and trust to get you moving in the right direction. Okay. And I want to close with these two questions. I'll start with the first. You like to take leaps of faith.

What's one leap of faith you've taken recently that reminded you of your own advice? The book was a big leap of faith. I've been working on it for over three years. I had a lot of limiting beliefs. What if it sucks? What if no one reads it?

What if they read it and write a terrible review and then I see it and cry? And sometimes you have to take your own advice. I just finished talking about letting go of other people's opinions and putting yourself out there in order to grow. And the fact of the matter is, guess what? Like not 100% of people who meet you or read your book or buy your product will like it. That's okay. That's what life is all about.

And I think building immunity to possible negativity is an important skill that we can all learn. And my last question would be is if you could go back and whisper in the ear of that little girl hiding lip gloss in her teddy bear, what would you tell her now? I would tell her things are going to get better. Focus on what truly matters to you and quit trying so damn hard.

Tiffany, where can listeners learn more about you? You're easily discoverable, but where would you point them to? I would say you can follow me with all my antics on social media at TiffanyMoonMD. My website is TiffanyMoonMD.com. If you're interested in having me as a speaker, there's a forum on there to fill out. And then my book, Joy Prescriptions, is available anywhere books are sold or on JoyPrescriptions.com.

Well, Dr. Tiffany Moon, it was such an honor to have you today. Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your incredible new book and story.

Thank you so much for having me. That's it for today's conversation with Dr. Tiffany Moon, an absolute force of brilliance, heart, and humor. One of my favorite takeaways from Tiffany's book, Joy Prescriptions, is this line. I was running around frantically trying to save everyone else when the person I needed to save the most was myself. That's such a scary truth that so many of us can relate to. We chase success, perfection, usefulness, thinking that that's the path to fulfillment.

But Tiffany reminds us that real joy doesn't come from doing more. It comes from being more fully you. We talked about why women still get shamed for liking beauty, why moms get judged for ambition, and why self-worth can't be earned by grinding. It has to be claimed with courage. Tiffany's story is your permission slip to stop performing, start laughing, and start

and embrace the paradoxes in your life. You can be both soft and strong, scientific and stylish, a mother and a dreamer, a healer and a stand-up comic. You don't have to fit into one role. You just have to be you. So I'll leave you with three reflection prompts. What parts of yourself have you been hiding to be taken seriously? Where have you traded joy for productivity? And what would it look like to write your own prescription for joy?

If today's episode resonated with you, grab a copy of Joy Prescriptions. It's sharp, hilarious, and full of insight that

that will stay with you. You'll find the link and full show notes at passionstruck.com. And don't forget to check out the Passion Struck YouTube channel for full video episodes. If this conversation moved you, leave a five-star review and share it with a friend who's stuck in the grind. It might just be the exact message you need to hear. And coming up next, I am so excited to bring Dr. Zach Mercurio on the show. And we're going to discuss his brand new book, The

The Power of Mattering, and we do a deep dive on why mattering at work is the missing link to why so many employees feel disengaged. Belonging is like you're being picked for the team. Belonging is feeling welcomed, accepted, and connected into a group. Something like inclusion is being able to play in the game, being able to play an active role in the group. But mattering is feeling that the team wouldn't be complete without you.

mattering is feeling significant to individuals in the group. Until then, thank you for choosing to live life passion struck. And remember, it's not thinking about what you do that's going to make a difference. It's the actions that you take. So if you want to take more of those actions, we can help you in the ignition room. Until then, see you next time.

To realize the future America needs, we understand what's needed from us to face each threat head on. We've earned our place in the fight for our nation's future. We are Marines. We were made for this.