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cover of episode Why Mental Health Is the Root of a Meaningful Life w/John R. Miles  | EP 606

Why Mental Health Is the Root of a Meaningful Life w/John R. Miles | EP 606

2025/5/2
logo of podcast Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

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我将探讨心理健康并非仅仅是压力管理,而是赋予生活意义的无形基础设施。从个人崩溃到社会对力量的错误认知,我将分享为何忽视心理健康不会延缓代价,反而会加剧代价,以及我们如何重建情绪可持续性。 首先,心理健康是所有重要事物(目标、联系、自信、平静、韧性)的无形基础设施,它并非建立在技能之上,而是建立在内在稳定性之上。这种稳定性并非源于成就,而是源于内在状态,即使无人关注时亦然。我们常常关注睡眠、步数、宏量营养素,优化日程,追求巅峰表现,却忽略了情绪架构下的基础。我们可以高效率运作,却在内在悄然崩溃。心理健康不是额外福利,而是基础,是参与生活而非被动反应的能量,是做出有意识回应而非反应的清晰度,是创造力、专注力、联系和领导力的燃料。当它动摇时,所有建立在其上的事物都会动摇。 其次,我们错误地将心理健康问题视为弱点,而非能力。我们往往等到事情崩溃、身心俱疲时才提及它。心理健康是重要指标,如同体能帮助我们承受重量,心理健康使我们承受压力而不崩溃。它并非关乎是否挣扎,而是关乎我们是否有能力回应生活。这种能力会变化,在悲伤、过度劳累、孤立、筋疲力尽时会减弱。我们常常压抑它,假装一切安好,因为寻求帮助意味着失败。然而,这并非坚强,而是压抑现实,消耗日后所需的能量。这并非关乎坚韧,而是关乎资源。我们是否与自己相连?是否得到情绪支持?我们是否相信自己的存在有意义?当我们相信时,能力就会增强,并非因为生活变得容易,而是因为我们不再独自承受。真正的危险并非疲惫,而是相信寻求帮助意味着我们破碎。它意味着我们正常运作,我们并非应该坚不可摧,而是应该得到支持。当我们不再将心理健康视为个人缺陷,而是视为普遍状况时,我们开始重建比效率更强大的东西——能力。心理健康并非脆弱,而是操作系统。我们不应等到系统崩溃才维护它,而应在它运行时维护它。 再次,忽视心理健康不会延缓代价,只会加剧代价。我们认为只要坚持下去,就能处理好心理健康问题。然而,情绪侵蚀不会等待,它只会埋得更深,并加剧。我曾被教导,寻求帮助是一种失败,心理咨询意味着不稳定或不胜任。在军队中,这种观念被强化。我们被警告说,看心理健康医生可能会危及安全许可。信息很明确,即使没有明说:不要表现出软弱,不要大声说出来,默默处理。我这么做了。即使我的事业和责任越来越大,我也一直压抑着压力、内在的噪音和疲惫。我不断增加更多截止日期、承诺和成就。从表面上看,一切都很顺利,但内在却像是在已经开始开裂的结构上堆积重量。最终,堆积物变得太高,它不会一下子倒塌,而是慢慢弯曲。你开始忘记事情,更快地崩溃,失去曾经让你快乐的快乐,直到你最终停止挣扎才意识到自己正在溺水。我学到的是,心理健康不会爆炸,而是侵蚀。你回避的时间越长,就越难找到回家的路。如果你听到这些话,内心有所共鸣,请倾听它。并非因为你正在崩溃,而是因为你不应该等到崩溃边缘才去照顾你的思想。你不能逃避你的内心生活,你只是延迟了影响,并增加了成本。 最后,如果想要有意义的人生,心理健康并非可选,而是第一步。我们花费大量时间试图通过成功、服务、遗产和成长来建立有意义的生活。但大多数人忽略了一个事实:如果你的内心生活不稳定,你的外在生活就无法支撑你。心理健康不是一个次要目标,而是所有其他目标的基础。当你的心理健康稳定时,你才有空间去反思,你与你关心的人更亲近,你不会仅仅是反应,而是回应,你不会仅仅是忍受,而是建设。当它脆弱时,一切都会比应该的更沉重,即使是好事也不会像以前那样顺利。你开始在生活中生存,而不是生活。我知道从这种状态中努力建设的感觉,在悄悄坍塌的基础上不断堆积目标、项目和胜利。这行不通,因为有意义的生活并非仅仅是从外到内构建的,而是从内到外构建的。这意味着心理健康不能是我们事情平静后才回过头来关注的东西,它必须是第一步。为什么?因为意义不仅仅关乎我们做什么,还关乎我们在做的时候是否相信自己很重要。

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Coming up next on Passion Struck, what if the most important part of your life wasn't visible? Not your goals, not your productivity, but the quiet system underneath it all. In episode 606, I'm diving into the part we rarely talk about, your mental health. Not in crisis terms, not

Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into

practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.

We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck.

Hey, everyone, John here and welcome to Episode 606 of Passion Struck. Before we dive in, I just want to say thank you. This past week has been filled with meaningful moments for the show in this community. Passion Struck was just ranked number three on million podcast list of best life leadership podcast.

alongside the Jocko podcast and School of Greatness. And we were honored with the Gold Stevie Award for Best Independent Podcast at the 2025 American Business Awards. Those are incredible honors, but they matter most because of you, because of this community, this movement, people who don't just listen, but act, reflect,

And now we step into a new chapter. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And here at PassionStruck, we're dedicating the month's episodes to the conversations that often go unsaid. We kicked off the week with two powerful interviews. On Tuesday, I sat down with Gretchen Rubin for live taping in front of 200 plus people, diving into the secrets of adulthood

and the small truths and big realizations that shape a meaningful life. Then on Thursday, I was joined by Elizabeth Weingarten, whose new book Fall in Love with the Questions explores how the right questions don't just shift our thinking, they unlock deeper connection and self-discovery. And today I'm bringing you something different.

Thank you.

Still producing, still showing up, but slowly disconnecting from ourselves. We'll talk about why mental health is the baseline for everything that matters. Why it's so often ignored until it's too late and what it looks like to build an emotionally sustainable life before burnout, before breakdown. And if this kind of conversation resonates with you, I want to personally invite you into the Ignition Room.

our private community for people who want to go deeper, live with intention, and connect around those ideas in real time. Links are in the show notes, and it's built for people like you, people serious about building a life

that actually feels like their own. Because if we're going to build a life that matters, we can't ignore the thing that sustains all of it. So let's get into it. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Hey, PassionStruck fam. The perfect vacation includes a lot of adventure and even more R&R. And let me tell you, Texas has it all.

Whether you're wanting to experience the natural beauty of an iconic state park or relax on the beautiful beaches of the coastline, the Lone Star State welcomes you to enjoy the unique experiences you can only find in Texas. When hunger strikes, savor some world-famous barbecue or treat yourself to exceptional fine dining across the state. No matter your craving, it's waiting for you in Texas.

There's always a dance floor or live music venue just ready to be discovered. The nightlife in Texas is always an exciting time. And what's a trip to Texas without taking in the vibrant art scene or horseback riding across sprawling ranches to bring out your inner cowboy? Texas isn't just a destination. It's a one-of-a-kind experience. And it's calling you.

So let's pack our bags and get going. Visit TravelTexas.com and start planning your trip today. Let's Texas. Over a decade ago, I was in the middle of a 34-week discipleship class at my church. We met twice a week and we studied scripture. We wrestled with what it meant to live a life of faith, not just in belief, but in behavior. And somewhere around week 12, I started to feel it. This tug

This whisper, I felt like I was being called to help a certain group of people, not the successful, not the already thriving, but the ones who felt lonely, beaten down, bored, broken, hopeless. I didn't know what to do with that.

I was a business executive, running teams, building strategy. What did I know about those people? I kept showing up to class twice a week. I kept reading. I kept praying. And the calling didn't go away. But the clarity didn't come either. For years, I carried that feeling in the back of my mind.

quietly. I didn't understand why I felt drawn to help those who felt unseen. I just knew that the pull wouldn't leave. And during that same season, something else started to shift. At first, it was small. Life just felt duller. Things that used to light me up didn't. The colors around me felt muted. Joy got quieter, and so did I. But I was still showing up, still performing,

still hitting deadlines, still doing the work. So I ignored it until I couldn't anymore because eventually I hit the wall mentally, emotionally, physically. I didn't crash all at once, but the weight finally caught up to me. And in the middle of that unraveling, the old question came back, that calling I'd carried for years. And for the first time, I saw it differently.

I thought I'd been called to help them, but I realized I was one of them. Lonely, drifting, disconnected, not broken, but breaking. That's when I began to understand something I'd missed for years. These people, the ones I felt drawn to help, they weren't all the same, but they shared something underneath the surface. They didn't just feel stressed. They felt invisible. They felt like they didn't count.

like their presence made no difference. And when you don't feel like you matter, that's when everything else starts to fall apart quietly. That was the moment it all clicked. Mental health isn't just about what's happening in your mind. It's about what's happening in your soul when you start to believe you don't matter. So that's what today's episode is about. Because if we want to build meaningful lives, if we want to lead, love, connect,

and create with death, we have to start by tending to the quiet root beneath it all. Not strategy, not hustle, mental health, and not just in crisis, not when everything breaks, but every day is the foundation that holds everything else up. Let's begin.

Let's start with the truth most of us feel but rarely name. Mental health isn't just emotional, it's existential. It's not just about stress or burnout or even anxiety. It's about whether we believe we matter. It's about whether we feel seen, valued, connected, not just in what we do, but in who we are when we're not on. And when that sense of mattering slips, it's

So does our stability. You know the moments when you're crushing it at work, but no one notices. When you're there for everyone else.

But nobody asks how you're holding up when something changes inside you and it feels like no one's paying attention. That's not just pressure. That's psychological invisibility. And it wears on us, not all at once, but gradually. Because mental health doesn't always collapse on a breakdown. Sometimes it just quietly unthreads as the belief that we matter starts to fray. And that leads to four fundamental truths

that are at the heart of this episode. So let's go into truth one. Mental health is the unseen infrastructure of everything that matters. Most of the things we say we want, purpose, connection, confidence, peace, resilience, aren't built on skills alone. They're built on internal stability. And that stability doesn't come from what we achieve. It comes from how we're doing on the inside. Even when

when no one's watching. This is the part we skip over. We track our sleep, our steps, our macros. We optimize our calendars. We chase peak performance. But if we're not tending to what's underneath our emotional architecture, it all starts to feel strangely hollow. I lived this too. I had seasons where I was at the top of my game professionally. I was recognized, productive, outwardly thriving. But inside,

I felt brittle. My days were full and I felt empty. And I remember thinking, if I'm doing everything right, why do I feel so off? Because you can be high functioning and still be emotionally unstable. You can execute at a high level while quietly eroding beneath the surface. Mental health isn't some bonus benefit.

It's the foundation. It's the baseline energy you need to engage with your life, not just react to it. It's the clarity that lets you respond with intention instead of reactivity. It's the fuel behind creativity, focus, connection, and leadership. And when it starts to wobble, everything on top of it gets shaky. You feel it in your sleep, in your short fuse,

and the way joy becomes muted. And the way your patience thins, or your confidence stalls, or the light behind your eyes just dims. When we talk about how mental health shapes everything that matters, this is what we mean. Because everything that matters lives in the emotional layer. Leadership isn't just strategy.

It's emotional regulation under pressure. Relationships aren't just time spent. They're felt connection. Purpose isn't just goals. It's internal resonance. Without a solid foundation, those things don't disappear. They just get heavier, blurrier, harder to hold. This isn't weakness. It's wiring. You're not broken for needing inner support to function well on the outside. You're just human.

And the sooner we stop treating mental health like an add-on, the sooner we start building lives that can actually carry the weight of what we care about. Because what's underneath is what's holding everything up. And this leads us to truth number two. We've pathologized mental health as weakness instead of capacity. Somewhere along the way, we've learned to talk about mental health only in terms of crisis.

We wait until things fall apart, until the breakdown comes, until the word burnout finally shows up in our vocabulary. And then, and only then, do we name it. But mental health isn't just a red flag. It's a vital sign. Just like physical strength helps you carry weight,

Mental health is what allows you to show up under pressure without crumbling. It's not about whether you're struggling, it's about whether you have the capacity to respond to what life is asking of you. And that capacity shifts. It contracts when we're grieving, when we're overextended, when we're isolated.

emotionally drained, or moving through life like we're a pinball. But instead of naming that, we bury it. I remember seasons when I was running full tilt, juggling deadlines, managing teams, taking on more than what was sustainable. And I told myself, John, you're fine. You can handle this.

So many other people are doing more. I didn't want anyone to know how close I was to the edge. I bought into the idea that if I admitted I was overwhelmed, I'd seem unstable or worse, incapable. So

I kept pushing, but I wasn't being strong. I was just suppressing reality and burning through capacity I didn't know I'd need later. This is what happens when we mistake depletion for discipline. We smile through disconnection. We lead through exhaustion. We perform over a cracked foundation and call it resilience. But this isn't about toughness.

It's about resourcing. Are you connected to yourself? Are you emotionally supported? Do you still believe your presence makes a difference? Because when you do, your capacity expands, not because life gets easier, but because you're no longer carrying it alone. You've stopped pretending it's not heavy. The real danger isn't being tired. The real danger is believing that needing help makes you broken. It doesn't. What it means is you're wired normally. You're

You're not supposed to be unshakable. You're supposed to be supported. And the moment we stop treating mental health like a personal flaw and start treating it like a shared condition, we start to rebuild something far more powerful than productivity. We build capacity because mental health isn't fragility. It's your operating system. And you don't wait until the system crashes. You take care of it while it's still running so it can keep running. And this right here

is why we're dedicating May to these conversations. Because mental health isn't a trend. It's not a week on the calendar. It's the groundwork for everything else that matters. So all month long, we're opening the door to deeper questions.

through solo episodes like this, and in conversations with some of the most insightful minds on purpose, presence, and emotional well-being. If you've ever felt like you had to hold it all together alone, or if you've quietly wondered why doing all the right things still doesn't feel quite right, I hope you'll continue to show up here, because we're not just talking about mental health, we're reframing it.

as the first step towards building a life that actually feels like yours. We'll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. And when we return, we'll talk about the hidden cost of pushing things down, how ignoring your mental health doesn't delay the fallout, it multiplies it. And we'll close by exploring why your mental health isn't just important, it's foundational if you want to build a life of real meaning and connection.

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Welcome back. So far, we've talked about how mental health is the unseen infrastructure of everything that matters, and why it's not just about weakness, but about capacity. But what happens when we ignore it? What happens when we just keep pushing, suppressing, pretending we're fine, because asking for help feels like failure? That's where we're going next. Because the truth is, ignoring your mental health doesn't delay the cost, it compounds it,

And that's truth number three. We like to think we can outpace it, that if we just keep going, just hit the deadline, survive the season, push through the noise, we'll handle our mental health later. But emotional erosion doesn't wait. It just buries itself deeper and compounds. And I know this from experience.

I was taught early on that needing help was a kind of failure, that therapy or counseling or even just talking to someone was a sign that you were unstable or worse.

unfit. When I was in the military, this belief got reinforced. We were warned that seeing a mental health provider could put your security clearance at risk. The message was clear, even if unspoken. Don't show weakness. Don't say it out loud. Handle it quietly. And so I did. Even as I climbed in my career and my responsibilities grew, I kept pushing everything down. The stress, the internal noise,

the exhaustion. I just added more on top, more deadlines, more commitments, more achievement. And from the outside, everything looked fine. But internally,

It was like piling weight on a structure that had already started to crack. Eventually, the pile gets too high. It doesn't collapse all at once. It buckles slowly. You start forgetting things. You snap quicker. You lose joy in the moments that used to light you up. You don't realize you're drowning until you finally stop kicking. And here's what I learned since. Mental health doesn't explode. It erodes.

And the longer you avoid it, the harder it becomes to find your way back. If you're hearing this and something inside is nodding quietly, listen to that. Not because you're falling apart, but because you shouldn't have to get to the edge to justify taking care of your mind. You don't get away with ignoring your inner life. You just delay the impact and multiply the cost.

And this leads us to truth number four. If you want a meaningful life, mental health isn't optional. It's step one. We spend so much time trying to build meaningful lives through success, service, legacy, and growth. But here's the truth most of us overlook. If your inner life is unstable, your outer life can't hold you. And this reminds me of the book by Gretchen Rubin, who I interviewed earlier this week,

She talks about outer order creates inner calm. And mental health ties into that because it isn't a side goal. It's the foundation everything else stands on. And I don't just mean that in a quote unquote self-care way. I mean that in the most practical, long-term, purpose-driven way possible. When your mental health is steady, you have space to reflect. You're more present with the people you care about. You don't just react. You respond.

You don't just endure, you build. And when it's fragile, everything feels heavier than it should. Even good things don't land the way that they used to. You start surviving your life instead of living it. I know what it feels like to try and build from that place, to keep stacking goals, projects, wins,

on top of a foundation that's quietly caving in. It doesn't work because a meaningful life isn't just built from the outside in, it's built from the inside out. And that means mental health can't be something we circle back to once things get calmer. It has to be step one. Why? Because meaning isn't just about what we do, it's about whether we believe we matter

while we're doing it. And that brings us back to something I talked about in episode 600 on serendipity. In that episode, I talked about the idea that serendipity isn't just magic. It's a mirror, a reflection of how present we are, how willing we are to notice the small, meaningful cues life offers us. But here's what I didn't say out loud then and what I want to say now. That presence, that noticing, that ability to feel connected

to those moments. It only happens when your internal world isn't underwater, which brings me to what I call the mattering mental health loop. And here's how it works. When we believe we matter, we stay emotionally engaged. When we're engaged, we notice more about ourselves and about others. And that noticing helps us respond with care and

and care reinforces connection, and connection reminds us that we matter. That's the loop, but the reverse is also true. When we start to question our worth, we disengage. We stop noticing, we stop connecting, and the world feels flatter, colder, more fragmented. Not because life got worse.

but because we started feeling like we didn't count anymore. So let's come back to where this all began, that 34-week discipleship course, that quiet sense of calling I couldn't quite make sense of, that feeling that I was meant to help the lonely, the bored, the broken,

the invisible. What I didn't realize then, but I know now, is that the person I was being called to help was also me, and that I was being asked to understand something deeper, that mental health isn't just about healing, it's about anchoring. It's the thread that runs through everything that matters, because mental health doesn't always break loudly. Sometimes it drifts, until one day you realize you don't quite feel like yourself anymore.

And if we want to live lives of meaning, not just motion, we have to treat mental health as the starting point, not the side note. That's why all month long, we're diving deep into what truly sustains us. Coming up in this special Mental Health Month series, I'll be covering the mental health habits that anchor you in uncertain times, how to reframe your inner world for growth and resilience,

and how to build a mental health ecosystem that honors who you are. So stay tuned for my solo episodes in the coming weeks. And if today's conversation sparks something in you, I hope you'll join us inside the Ignition Room, our private community where we go beyond the episodes and into real meaningful dialogue.

If today's episode resonated, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating or share it with someone else you care about. It's the easiest way to help us spread this movement to those who need it most. And if you're looking to bring these ideas into your organization, leadership team, or event, you can find more about my keynotes and workshops at johnrmiles.com slash speaking. I'd love to support your mission. And make sure you're subscribed because next Tuesday, I'm sitting down with the extraordinary Dr. Andrew Newberg.

a pioneering neuroscientist in the field of neurotheology. And we'll explore the intersection of belief, mattering, the brain, and what science reveals about spiritual experience. It's a powerful episode,

You don't want to miss. If you are part of a religious group that is engaged in a ritual, it could be a ceremony, it could be a meditation practice, a prayer program, then you have a whole bunch of people whose parietal lobes are now quieting down. And as they engage this practice, they're

that boundary between themselves and the other people that are with them begins to go away. They begin to feel blended, connected, again, unified, different words that people use, but a sense of oneness with the individuals, with the other individuals that are part of this process.

Until then, remember, if you're intentional about building the life you want, you must be just as intentional about protecting it. Live boldly, lead with intention, and above all, live life passion-struck.

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