Anxiety: From Hospitals to Healing [RE-RUN]
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Happy Thursday. Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. We're gonna switch it up today. We're gonna do things a little bit differently because I'm still in Europe right now. We're actually in Capri and it's been so nice because I know that I said I was gonna try and like get off my phone in the last episode and I actually have because I'm still and I this sounds like so stupid and basic but I am still posting from like Venice while I've been in Capri so I feel like I've just like been here without like

I don't know, updating in real time, which I usually post like very in real time. So I don't know. I feel like I'm off the grid, even though I'm like really not because I'm still posting. But in my mind, I'm off the grid and it's really helped me just like take a step back. And I don't know, after talking with Monet last week, something that I feel like we should talk about again is the idea of anxiety and

If anyone hasn't listened to the old anxiety episode, we're going to rerun it today for you guys.

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This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts

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I think I filmed that back in November. It was one of like the first few episodes of Hot Mess and I was kind of just walking you guys through my anxiety story and that episode is one of the stories that I feel like a lot of you guys when you come up to me and I meet you in person like I literally was at the bar on Thanksgiving I think it was and some girl came up to me crying being like you have no idea like how much that helped me and I don't know I just feel like that's an episode I want to rerun for you guys because we're going into summertime and as much

fun a summer is it can also be like stressful because you're also worried about getting out of the house and balancing work and social life and maybe you have social anxiety like maybe that's something that stresses you out and for me I started dealing with anxiety when I was 14 years old like I started taking Lexapro I think when I was 14 or 15 and I kind of walk you through my whole

with anxiety in this episode. And then funny enough, I actually was in Cannes last week, which obviously you guys know if you listened to the last episode, but another like really big influencer came up to me and she was like, I started taking medication after I like listened to your anxiety episode. And she was like, it really like changed my life. Like I didn't even realize that I was like,

Depressed and anxious and i'm not saying that if you listen to the episode you'll you'll understand I'm, not saying go get medicated all of you, but i'm not a doctor Everyone is different But I think there's times with anxiety where you just feel so so alone and you're like Am I the only one that's feeling this way or like what's wrong with me? What is anxiety like when the doctor said anxiety to me? I was like what?

I've never heard of that before. Like I have something so wrong with me, like my life is over and I just feel like little Alex like needed to hear something like this. So hopefully this is helpful to anyone who's dealing with anxiety or dealt with anxiety or looking for different ways to cope with it. Or you have a friend or a significant other who's dealing with anxiety and you kind of want to like

Help them or I don't know see how to like talk to them or approach them because I talk about all of this in this episode So i'm going to rerun this one for you guys because I don't know I think this is a good time that we need to circle back on this one If you haven't listened to it, I think it's a really important episode and big house on vacation this week We are in capri and I want to do a europe episode and like recap everything that's been going on here with you guys But the trip is not over yet

And I keep literally just like jotting down all these stories that I have from this trip because there's a lot. So don't worry, we are still going to do a real-time catch-up. But for now, I want to play this anxiety episode and hope that it helps anyone dealing with anxiety. Don't forget to follow, subscribe to this podcast.

Love you all wherever you're watching this listening to it subscribe And also, oh my gosh, you guys are getting the merch and it looks so good on you guys I've been seeing in like my tag stories so don't forget to like post the merch and tag me because I Literally try and see them all and you guys look so good and so cute and i'm so happy you guys are loving it All right. Well i'm gonna play the episode for you guys now. Love you

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. We're going to be getting a little bit more serious again today. I try to keep it like a good balance between episodes that are like fun, me recapping drunk nights, and then me talking about like serious problems in my life that no one knows about. And today we're gonna be talking about anxiety, which I have talked about online before, my struggles with anxiety, that I'm on Lexapro for anxiety. If the topic of anxiety, panic attacks,

depression if any of that is triggering to you then I would probably skip over this episode or I will put text on the screen where you can skip to

My goal of this episode is not to scare anyone or to trigger anyone, but rather to just inform you guys on my struggle with anxiety and where I'm at now with anxiety and how I deal with it. And it's still a reoccurring issue, even though this started when I was 14 years old and I'm 22 years old now, almost 23. So it's definitely something that I think will be with me for life. But I have a lot of ways that

have helped me deal with it and I have a lot of tips and tricks. I think everyone in their life faces anxiety at some point, some worse than others, and some may have like an anxious moment or an anxiety attack, but that doesn't really mean that you're like diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I was never really an anxious person.

Growing up, I was like pretty normal with that. But also I'm talking about when I was born to when I was 13 years old. So...

I don't know, you're pretty young at that age, so maybe a lot of people like don't really struggle with anxiety then. Where my anxiety stemmed from was a very specific moment, place, and time event that occurred. I went to go get my hair done in New York City. I grew up in New Jersey and my stepmom goes to this hair salon in the city. She offered to take me with her for the day and I was like, oh, this is so exciting. I'm about to start my freshman year of high school. Like I'm going to get some fresh blonde highlights. Like I'm going to feel so good for school. And I was like, oh, this is so exciting.

We go into the city and I'm in the middle of getting my highlights done. So anyone who gets blonde highlights bleach in your hair, you know, they have like a million foils on your head. And this salon in particular was like pretty dark and hot in there. And in the middle of getting my hair done. Oh, gosh, I'm getting like nervous even saying this right now because it's just bringing me back to this moment. But yeah.

I started to feel very tired. That's the first thing I noticed. I was like, oh, like I'm so tired and then I like was like, whoa, I am hungry and then all of a sudden I remember my eyes kind of just start shutting and then pitch black. I then was kind of hearing voices like Alex, Alex, Alex, and I'm opening my eyes. I'm

laid back in the chair at the hair salon and basically I had just fainted I woke up I look in the mirror across from me I see the foil in my head my skin is ghost white my lips are like green and I had never passed out before and I was like okay they brought me juice they bought me food it was like fine and I honestly was like okay I was like okay like

I'm with my stepmom. I feel comfortable. I'm okay as the day went on we were kind of laughing about it I was like, oh like that that wasn't really that bad like that's so crazy that that happened and then about a week later It was the night before my freshman year of school. I went to this fair with my friends it was like the town fair in the summertime and We went to a restaurant to go eat. I think before or after we went to the fair and

We're sitting down at the restaurant and my stomach grumbled like it does when you get hungry. And immediately my mind just goes back to, oh no. And we think the reason that I passed out in the hair salon was because I was hungry or overheated, a mix of both. Like, I don't know, that happens, you faint. Like fainting is a pretty normal thing.

So we're at this restaurant and my stomach grumbles and immediately my mind goes to, oh no, like this is what happened right before I fainted. And then I was like, wait, oh my gosh, am I going to faint now? And this was the first time I had ever experienced the downward spiral of anxiety.

anxious thoughts that lead you into a panic attack. And for anyone who struggles with anxiety or panic attacks, those make you nauseous in themselves. Like those give you similar symptoms to if you were to faint or pass out. So I'm working myself up, making myself so anxious sitting in this restaurant and my friends are looking at me like, Alex, are you okay? And

I'm fanning myself with the menu. I'm like, yeah, I just don't really feel good. And I'm like convinced at this point. I'm like, I am going to pass out. So I freak out. Now I'm having a panic attack. And I didn't know at the time that I was having a panic attack. This was my first one I'd ever experienced.

And I was just so nervous. I was gonna faint. So I was laying on the floor of this restaurant It was a japanese restaurant all the waitresses and waiters were coming over fanning me I was with my friends one ran to go get like candy next door and my friends called my dad And they were like, I think you need to take alex to the hospital. She's gonna pass out again So something must be wrong with her because she just passed out last week like you need to help her She's green and she's on the floor and sweating

It's on two. That's where I had my first panic attack. My dad had to take me to the hospital. So my dad comes to the restaurant. He picks me up. He's like, Alex, like what's going on? I'm dry heaving in the front seat of this car, like not feeling good, convinced that I'm going to pass out. And I have a puke bag. He takes me to the hospital and we go into the emergency room. So immediately when we get into the emergency room, they start saying,

taking my blood running tests they're trying to see like if anything's wrong with me because I was telling them that I just had a fainting spell the week prior and they were like everything like looks good like nothing's wrong with you and I was like no you don't understand like something is wrong with me my heart's beating out of my chest and they were like maybe you should go to like

This heart doctor this head doctor. I don't really know the specific terms for them. So excuse me on that but now I'm in the hospital. I have an ivy in me a few hours go by i'm like, okay I guess i'm fine, but I still was like a little nervous and they just thought that something was wrong with my health because I Was fainting a week ago almost fainting again. So we make appointments

I go to this doctor. They check out my heart. We went to this other doctor. They put stickers all over my head. I was doing scans on every part of my body, every possible thing. And every doctor was like, you're fine. You're okay. And I was like, it just doesn't make sense. I kept saying to my parents, like, I don't feel good. Like something isn't right. And the last doctor that I had went to was like, do you think this could be anxiety? Yeah.

And it's so crazy to me because this is when I was 14 years old. So 2014. And I just don't think anxiety and mental health was talked about as much as it is today. And I mean, I know it wasn't because I didn't even really know what that was. I was like, what do you mean anxiety? Like, I'm not nervous. I was like, my heart's beating out of my chest. My my palms are getting sweaty. I'm like,

dry heaving I feel like I'm gonna faint like that's not anxiety and they were like that could be so the next doctor that we signed me up for was a psychiatrist I start talking with her so this is like a therapist and after a few sessions she has diagnosed me with

generalized anxiety disorder, GAD. And she was like, we can get you a prescription for this. Like we can get you treated. So she says like treatment to me. And I was like, oh no, no, no, no. Like I'm okay. I don't need medicine for this. I'm fine. Like I will get over this. Like I have always been very like reluctant and weird when it comes to medicine, even like

Advil when I was younger. I was like, I refuse to take it. Like i'm not doing that like i'll get over it on my own and She's telling me that she wants to put me on this thing called lexapro and I was like, it's not happening I'm looking it up on google. I'm seeing side effects And I was like this just isn't normal. None of my friends have this so i'm not doing this so I thought that I could kind of fix this issue myself and This was more than just this panic attack in the restaurant

This consumed my everyday life. I would wake up. The first thing I would do when I would wake up was feel my heart pounding out of my chest, get so nervous about that, run to the toilet and throw up.

And I was throwing up because I was anxious like it was just coming right out of me My body was like freaking out I would go to school and I was so determined to not ever pass out again that I at all times had to have with me water Gatorade 10 snacks like my backpack for school was Crunching at all times because it was filled with every snack you could think of like I would almost

Overly packed food and I would eat like 10 12 meals a day Like I it was the most insane thing ever because I was so nervous about feeling hungry Because I felt like that was gonna make me pass out. So I get to school. I have 45 meals in my backpack and

We're standing up for the Pledge of Allegiance in school every morning. And that's what, like, 20, 30 seconds you're standing up. I remember that I could not even, like, stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance. We would stand there. I would grip onto the desk. I was like, do not faint, do not faint, do not faint. Like, every time that I was standing up, I was afraid that I was going to faint and pass out. Like...

There wasn't a second in the day that my brain wasn't thinking about this and wasn't thinking like, oh my gosh, I'm getting sick right now. Like I'm going to freak out. I couldn't take notes in class. I couldn't focus in class. And I started to develop these little fidgets, which I still do today. So you can kind of tell if I'm getting anxious, but

One, I started to like tuck my hair behind my ear really fast. And the other one, I would like poke my ear just to like make sure that I could still hear because I think sometimes when you're like going to pass out, you like, you know, you lose your sight, you lose your hearing. So I would like poke my ear to make sure that I could still hear. And I would do these on repeat all throughout the day. I was so nervous and anxious that I would get nauseous, but I would make myself eat.

Teachers would yell at me in class for eating. They were like, you have to put the food away right now. And I would sit there and sneak a candy bar up my shirt. I basically had to have food in my mouth at every point of the day. And I, a lot of times, didn't make it through the full school day. Like,

By the time it hit 10 a.m., 11 a.m. at school, I was getting picked up to go home by my parents because I was in that bad of a panic attack that I couldn't survive the school day. So I'm starting this new school, new people. I was in a new town and I have this severe anxiety, which in my mind, like I didn't at this point really care.

Process that it was anxiety like I just was processing that something was wrong with me and that like my body kept getting sick And that I kept needing to feed it and nourish it because I was afraid of passing out Like my goal for every day was like don't pass out. Don't pass out. Don't pass out

I also was a dancer. So I would go to dance class. There was a Dunkin Donuts right next door. I would get the slushy things they have. I would get croissants. I would get a million things in every dance class. And the teacher was like, you can't bring food into dance class. So you know how dance class usually or any type of like workout people bring a water bottle into the room. I would bring water bottle with like snacks on the side because I was just so nervous that I was going to

feel this fainting spell. Like it was like my biggest fear. And I would go through this process every day on repeat, wake up. My heart was beating out of my chest already. I would go get so anxious, throw up, get ready for school, sweat during the pledge of allegiance, barely make it through two periods, call my parents, tell them to pick me up. And then I went home. I was bedridden all day. And I was just like,

crying every day. It turned into a form of depression for me because I was just not understanding what was wrong with me. At the same time that this was going on, I had still been seeing this therapist, I think maybe like every other week, but going to therapy didn't really work for me either because I was...

anxious basically anytime I had to leave my bed like for some reason my bed was my safe space and I think a lot of people that struggle with anxiety you have that kind of like safe space or safe zone or safe person and I just would never want to leave my bed like the second I had to go anywhere it was immediately like panic attack I was like oh god like I can't go like

I just everything was a struggle for me. I would go into therapy. I would start talking to her. I would work myself up into a panic attack in the middle of therapy and I would have to like lay on the floor, put my feet on the wall, put my head down. Almost every time we did therapy, I was doing it from upside down on the floor because I was just having a panic attack during it.

Um, and this was really hard and something that I kind of dealt with just me and like my family. I mean, my friends knew that I was anxious or they knew something was wrong because I kept leaving school every day, but

I didn't feel comfortable to say I had anxiety. I felt like that was like, I have the plague. Like I couldn't tell anyone because that felt so embarrassing. Like no one talked about anxiety. If I said that to my friends, they would probably be like, what is that? I didn't even understand what it was. So I was just this like,

shell of a human that was scared to wake up every day. Like the only time I felt safe was like sleeping because every hour that I was awake, my head was spinning with these thoughts over and over and over. It would be so bad that I couldn't have sleepovers with the other girls that were hanging out. I would go home and I would have to sleep and be in my bed. Or if I did come to a sleepover, I would bring like

literally like a rotisserie chicken. I swear to God, I brought a whole rotisserie chicken one time to this girl's house and she was like, hello. And I was like, um, I was just like, I'm I can I put this in your fridge? Like, I don't know. Like, I just need it for dinner later. She was like, yeah, like we're getting food later. Like you weirdo, what are you doing? And there was times that I would be hanging out with people with other families and I would start to have panic attacks. And it's just it's

embarrassing because you're not around people that you feel like close with i'm out to dinner with this random girl's family from my school and I had to like say that I was like having anxiety and they didn't know what to do and they would give me food and I would literally spit it up and throw it up on the table because I was so anxious and nauseous and then Again, call my parents. They take me home. Like it was just this repetitive cycle of

for the first few months of my freshman year of high school. This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

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So embarrassing because I'm at work. I'm being paid to be there and I'm supposed to be like serving people or helping people right now. I had a few different jobs and I was like on the floor of this shop, like getting fanned off, freaking out. And I'm like, how am I supposed to leave right now? Like no one else can come in and work for me. Like I felt so trapped because like,

I was having this panic attack at work and I was responsible for running this place. Like I'm sure other people have dealt with this at work before, but it's like, you are supposed to be there and be in charge. So like that freaked me out even more. I was like, well, now I'm letting everyone down because I'm having this like panic attack anxiety. And there were times my parents had to pick me up from work too. And thank God, like my boss was so nice and understanding and like

She also actually dealt with anxiety. So she like got it, but it's just like, you feel this level of like embarrassment because you're letting people down. Like you feel like you're like not doing good enough and you feel like

Just different like you're like, why is no one else going through this as a few months went on? I was just dreading every day Because I was almost like fearing the anxiety first I was having anxiety about fainting and then I started to have anxiety about having a panic attack about having a fainting spell so it was just this like very terrible dark cycle for me and

What I'm about to say is so scary and not to be taken lightly at all, but I vividly remember sitting in the bedroom at my dad's house and I thought to myself for the first time ever, I didn't want to act on anything, but I just thought I could understand why people would want to take their own lives. And that thought was so scary to

I never planned on doing anything. I never wanted to do anything. I just understood how miserable people could be and how...

horrible life could feel for them every day and just not wanting to be in your own body and that was the moment I decided I need to take medicine I need to get better help for this I need to start a treatment because that's not okay and that's not normal so I said to my therapist okay fine I'll do this like anxiety medicine thing I don't want to and

I was like, you can't drink on this apparently. Like I'm starting my freshman year of high school. Like I want to go out and have fun. Like I just was so nervous and like so embarrassed. So I got the prescription for this Lexapro and she started me off. I want to say on 10 milligrams and then we went up to 20. I think 20 was the highest dose of Lexapro that I ever took.

I'm on 10 now for reference. I started taking it. I really did not have any side effects. Like I really was like, okay, but it takes a little bit to kick in. Like you're not going to take it and wake up and feel good. Um, it's like kind of like three months for me to like

Three to four months for me to feel these like full effects But I was so embarrassed like this again. I did not want to tell any of my friends like I would hide this bottle of anxiety medicine in my room in my deepest part of the drawer when my friends came over because if they found that they were going to be like, um Alex is weird. What is this? Like I was just so embarrassed by this. But anyway, I

started taking it and again, not feeling anything at first, but then a month went by and I looked back on the past month and I was like, wait, I didn't think about X, Y, Z this month. Like I actually like forgot some of those thoughts. Like I wasn't doing those certain ticks that I did anymore. So I was like, okay, another month goes by and I started to think about those things less. It was like the thoughts in my head were disappearing slowly, not all at once, but

the words and the fear and the negative, like, voices in my head that would freak me out were just disappearing. And I didn't notice it until I would, like, look back and be like, oh, wait, that changed. Like, I didn't even realize that. And by, like, three or four months, I was feeling, like, very good and, like, back to my normal self. And I

It was the most insane process for me. I am so grateful that this worked for me. And I know that different anxiety medication is going to affect different people differently. Like everyone's different. So what worked for me may not work for you. This is just my story and my experience with it. But yeah,

A lot of the habits that I was doing and like became anxious about were also like learned over time. So as the thoughts started to like dissipate in my head, I started to like kind of lose some of those anxious habits that I had. And it was a slow process, but probably over the course of like a year, I got to just break

Back to my normal self a little bit like I was feeling better and I wasn't so anxious anymore so now These thoughts kind of stopped for me And i'm going throughout high school some of my other girlfriends Started to deal with some like anxious anxiety issues in different ways though Not about passing out like anxiety is so different for everyone I was able to kind of help them and coach them through it because

I had gone through it and kind of educate them on it a little bit, which always felt really nice because they were in the same mindset that I had way back in the beginning when I said like, what is anxiety? This is embarrassing. I don't have that. I don't want to get medicated for this. And I feel like I was able to kind of help my friends talk through like, you might have anxiety too, and that's okay. And that's normal. And, you know, there is ways to help it.

Um, so towards the end of high school, like I was having no thoughts. I was perfect. Fine. Like I forgot that I had the whole like anxiety spiel. I went from my 20 milligrams of Lexapro to 10 milligrams of Lexapro and now I'm getting ready to go to college. I'm feeling fine. I'm feeling good. And I'm like, you know what? I want a fresh start in college. Like, I don't think I need to do this.

anxiety medication anymore. I was talking to the doctors. They were like, you've been good for like three, four years. Like, I think we can start weaning you off of the medicine if we want. So we would do days where it was like five milligrams, 10, five, 10, and then five, zero, five, zero, five, zero until I kind of was off the medication. And I was probably only off of it for like a month. And I was sitting in class, senior year of high school. And I started to have the same exact thoughts that like, I don't even know how to put into words, but like,

my body would just freak out. Like anxiety sometimes is more than like just the thoughts in your head, like your body, you have physical symptoms from it. And like my body would just get anxious. And I was like, oh God, like my heart would start beating really fast. And I was like, what is this again? Like I was just starting to have all these symptoms over and over again. So the second that that happened, I said, no, not worth it. I was like talking to my doctor and I was like, hey, can we get back on the medication? He was like, of course.

And he was like you're on 10 milligrams of lexapro He's like that is like an amount that like a small child could get like it's not a problem and basically the way that he explained it to me is that Anxiety is like a chemical imbalance in your brain. So what this medication is doing is balancing out Whatever chemicals are up there. I don't know. I'm not a scientist or a doctor but basically just like

Your body like physically is missing something and it needs that medication to help it stabilize itself so that you can like be normal and feel normal. So I was like, okay, you know what? That makes sense. Like this doesn't make me feel like I'm a crazy person anymore. Like my body actually may just need this. Like I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. Something's off. This is helping me. It's causing me no harm. I have no side effects from the medication. All good. So I went back on it.

All through college, I was actually really, really good through college. Like I forgot that I had anxiety and I sometimes forget it because I've been dealing with it for so long. But it's been fine for me. Like I really have been okay. Of course, of course, there are parts where a few times a year I will slip into an anxious path or an anxiety attack and something will happen. But it's not like those everyday anxious moments

depressive thoughts that I was having. So with that being said, more so recently, I think maybe just because things have been like changing in my life a little bit. I'm out of college now.

I do run myself around a lot like I I'm sure you guys can see i'm Literally, I got back from new york this morning. I'm here. I unpacked repacked I'm going to london and then i'm going to germany and then i'm coming back and going on another trip like I am constantly filling up my schedule and keeping myself busy at all times Sometimes a little bit too much and I don't really give myself a second to breathe so

I'm not sure what's all contributed to that. Of course, sometimes too, if I'm going out a lot, like that doesn't help. Alcohol doesn't help with anxiety. So I have been having a little bit of like those anxious tics again recently. And like my body has been super anxious. I was at the US Open and...

It's so sad because apparently people thought I was like being bitchy this day. But I was actually just super, super anxious. Like I was in this suite at the U.S. Open and I pulled Kristen into the bathroom with me. I was like, Kristen, I really don't feel good. She was like, you're OK. Like, it's going to be fine. I was like, no, you don't understand the same thing. I'm dizzy. I'm like, I'm going to pass out and die right now. Will someone be able to take me to the hospital? Like what's going on? What's the plan of action here? Like

all these thoughts like it just goes so fast in your head and I laid myself down on the floor and I was able to get myself over this panic attack. So I'm going to talk to you guys about how I get over these panic attacks or get out of an anxious state when I am in one. So number one, this was something I learned my freshman year of high school when I was starting to deal with anxiety is breathing and

And I know it sounds silly and stupid, but there's some science behind this that if you breathe in for five seconds, hold it for seven seconds, and then breathe out for like five, seven seconds, your body will calm down if you do this on repeat. So you breathe in, it just calms down your nervous system. Just focus on your breaths.

And that is number one factor that will help me when I'm having anxiety. Number two, this is something that took me a while to learn, but I will say probably helps the most, if not runner up for the most, is telling someone around you that you're having anxiety.

I know sounds stupid and it sounds scary if you are an anxious person and you do get this way but literally just anyone you're with just say I'm feeling anxious right now because at least for me when someone knows that I'm feeling anxious in my head I'm like okay well if something happens to me right now someone else is here to take care of me someone else knows like

You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, they don't have to do anything. They don't have to talk to you, but like having a person to just be like, I don't feel good. Like just say it out loud. And sometimes when you say it out loud and like describe to them what you're feeling, it almost makes you realize like, wait, like this is kind of stupid. Like I'm tricking myself into this. Like I'm actually okay right now. So just admitting that you're feeling anxious and saying it out loud helps. Yeah.

Number three, so this is very particular to if you're having anxiety about like a health concern or health issue or like fainting like mine was for me. And I've actually talked about this online before. And I've seen so many other girls talk about I have a fear of fainting, too. Like it is this like common thing. So what I do is I say, you know what? Instead of

me sitting here thinking, when am I going to pass out? When's it going to happen? I just say, okay, fine. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Just let it go. Like I literally sit there and I'm like, I'm dying. I'm about to have a seizure. Like something's happening to me. And recently I've just been like, okay, you know what? Body, take me. Do it. Fine. I don't care. Like if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. And

If you're sitting there having this anxiety attack, you're probably not passing out because when you're passing out, your brain just goes from like good to black. So like you're probably not passing out if you're having this panic attack. So that's been helpful for me to realize, like just sit there and be like, okay, you know what? Do it then. Fine. Like, and then it doesn't happen. And to this day,

From this first time that I passed out, I have never fainted. Never. No matter how dehydrated I've been, how hungry, tired, like I've never passed out. And still, I'll have this fear of passing out. It's just, it's crazy how the mind works. So number four for calming yourself down in the midst of anxiety is distracting yourself. You need to like actually start...

counting things on the wall. And this may sound silly too, but like when I'm in class, for example, and I'm feeling anxious, I would count the lines on the paper or I would like just, you don't have to count. You can do anything to distract yourself, but like put your mind focused on something, like give your mind a task to get it out of whatever thoughts you're having. Like literally be like, I'm going to write my name on

10 times over or I'm gonna write a story, write a novel. I don't know, but like get your mind out of that state. So do anything, any task to distract yourself. And recently I was at an event in Miami. I was talking to Melissa Wood. She

is like all things health she does a lot of meditations and she has like a big social media presence and I was talking to her about anxiety and how crazy it was and she was like you know what the one thing that really helped me was meditating and I've personally never really meditated too much um but I I

Have kind of been looking at her page and trying to take a note out of her book because I do see how that could obviously be very helpful. So just plugging her up if anyone wants to look at her for meditations and like guided meditations. I think that that's something that I also want to try and incorporate into my

My weekly routines, just to kind of like give myself a minute and sit with myself and like breathe because I do get very worked up. I actually started yoga recently, which I feel like is kind of a form of meditation. It is like a nice space for me to

Get calm cool and collected and like breathe Um, i've always been very against yoga actually Sorry, if the yoga people are gonna come for me. I was literally like the biggest yoga hater I was like, this is the stupidest thing ever, but it's been helping me and I do like it I do hot yoga specifically though, and I think I like it because they play like fun music in there so that's kind of where i'm at now with anxiety and

I have come a long way from where I started, but recently the past few months I have been having these anxiety attacks or anxious thoughts, but it's okay because I know how to get myself out of it and I know how to calm myself down. So I just think that's super important to kind of educate people on. Those tricks work for me. Hopefully they'll work for some of you guys as

It's like sounds really stupid and it's like really little stuff, but it's just it makes a big difference for me and another thing I'm really proud of in our day and age is that mental health is like talked about a lot. I think it obviously can be talked about more but just knowing that there could be someone who was 14 years old who's starting to deal with anxiety right now and like I wish I had this

like platform to like learn this from because I was so confused and embarrassed at that age like I just really hope that this helps someone and even if you don't struggle with anxiety like let this be

be informational for you for maybe a friend who does struggle with anxiety, you know, like just be there for them. You don't need to like stress them out, but like just let them know like they can rely on you and they can count on you. Like if they're in an anxious spot that you will be a good person for them.

I was actually just talking about this with my friend the other day in New York. We were talking about like the different energies that people have and how like you can get anxious based on who you're around. Like for me, if I'm in a situation where I don't really know anyone, where I'm not close enough with anyone, where I told you guys before where I can be like, hey, help me. I'm having a panic attack. I don't feel good. Take me out of here. Like when you're with kind of strangers, like you feel like you can't really do that. So I think that's times when like...

Your energy may be shifted with other people. But just now, who cares? You can always talk to people. You can always just leave, go outside, take a breath. At least that's what I do. And a lot more people deal with anxiety than you think. Like, once I feel like I, like, opened up about it and was like, oh, I have anxiety. Like, when I went to college, everyone's like, yeah, me too. Like, yeah, I take...

this medication, this medication for it. Like I was just so shocked because I thought that I was the only one that dealt with it. And like, it's so nice that people talk about it nowadays and it's not like frowned upon. And sadly, I think that some people and parents will not let their children get the help that they need. Like I've had friends that are like, my parents won't let me go on medication for this. And obviously if you're a parent, do whatever you want. But I just think that

People don't really understand it fully and it really can help you. And maybe it's not meant for you. Maybe you shouldn't be on medication, but I don't think that it needs to be looked at as an option that's like bad or you should be like ashamed if you're on medication for anxiety, depression, OCD, whatever it is. So that is my...

story about me struggling with anxiety and I truly truly hope that this helps someone anyone educates anyone on this topic there's a lot more to be said about it obviously but I

That was kind of my story with it. We are going to go into what would Alex do? And don't forget to write in for what would Alex do questions. I have a link in bio in the hot mess Instagram and the hot mess TikTok. It's just at hot mess and the link in bio. It's like submit a question to Alex. You can like write in scenarios and I love them so much guys. Like you have no idea like how hilarious some of these are. So write in your scenarios.

especially if you have ones about anxiety or if I didn't clearly state something or like go over something or you have a question about your anxiety, write in, let me know. I'll tell you what Alex would do. Like I say, it's not always the best advice. Just big Al doing her thing. So let's have a little bit more fun at the end of this episode. What would Alex do? ♪

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Hey Alex, so I'm conflicted. Next semester I'm studying abroad and I've always thought the experience would be something best done single so I can party and really grow as a person to be independent. But I just got a boyfriend and we've been dating for about a month now. I don't know what to do. He's very sweet, but I've always wanted to go abroad single and at that point we'll have been dating long distance longer than we have together. I need your thoughts.

Whoa, I have thoughts about this one. If this is a relationship that's new and like you just started dating this guy, I am always going to err on the side of you're young, you're only young once. Like, I don't think it's worth, not that you're going to make your abroad experience terrible if you have a boyfriend, but like if you want to go abroad and just like

let go and have fun and be with your friends and like you're not saying that you want to go out there and like be a hoe but you just want to like you don't want to have to worry about that like you know I totally get that girl I think that this is a conversation you need to have with him probably sooner rather than later and if you're already dating I don't know like I think if this is someone like you're still dating by the time you want to go abroad then I think that's like

Maybe time to take a break, let things go for a minute. I don't know. It'd be different maybe if he was going abroad with you. But I feel like this is controversial. People are going to have different opinions about this. But I am very, very for like you're only young once and you're only ever going to get to go abroad once, one semester in your life.

So like don't tie yourself down during that period. When I was gonna go abroad actually, I was kind of sort of dating this guy at school. I don't know if we had like really made it official, but he always knew for me it was like not in the cards that we were gonna be dating when we went abroad. And that made me sad and I would worry about like, oh no, well like maybe I should stay dating him because then he won't like get with other girls at school.

Listen, you don't don't think about that. Think about yourself. And also imagine if you stayed with him and then he cheated on you and like it just went terribly, like how horrible you would feel. Not that he's going to cheat on you.

Everyone is a cheater, but I just think you're so young. Just let yourself go and have fun. And I would probably cut it off. My ex of a year just got engaged. He still stays in touch with me time to time. I still feel like he's my person. What do I do, Alex? I don't think I will ever get over how quick he moved on.

Okay, wait, there's a few things wrong with this. He's engaged, but he's still talking to you. That feels weird to me. That doesn't feel right. I don't think that's a great sign and...

although you want to look at it as like, well, maybe he's my person and maybe he's in love with me. I still don't think that deems him as like a good, reliable person and someone you want to be with if he's like fully engaged to someone and still talking to you. I haven't gotten to the point of marriage or engagement yet. That's a little beyond my years. So I don't know too much about that, but I feel like that doesn't seem great. And as for you feeling like he's your person, yeah.

I don't know. Like, that's kind of between you guys. But if he's your person, why is he engaged? And why is he engaged a year after dating you? Like, that just... That feels a little cryptic to me. So...

I would say probably the hard truth again. We're just going to have to buckle up and move on here. Maybe if he breaks off the engagement and comes back to you, then you figure it out then. But I don't know. Do you want someone who's like fully in another relationship and still talking to you like that?

That's just seeming... I don't know what's going on there. What would you do if you stayed over at a guy's house and you woke up to your favorite Uggs torn apart by his dog and he said he would buy you a new pair but then ghosts you and refuses to pay you? Because I'm a broke college girl, I cannot afford to replace them. I literally had to beg my mom to get me these for Christmas. I've been crying about this for three days, no joke. I am so sorry about your Uggs and that sucks. So if he ghosted you, he didn't block you.

So you can still kind of harass him to give you the Uggs. I think I would just like try and make him feel bad. I think I would text him and say, here's my Venmo. Let me know when you can send me the money for the Uggs. Maybe send him like a link to the Uggs so he can see how much they are. If he's still not answering, like at the end of the day, you might be screwed. But I would definitely just like harass him, you know, whatever.

If he ghosted you and he's not getting you no Uggs, we don't... He's not a keeper. It doesn't matter what he thinks of you. Just get the Uggs, girl. Harass him. What would you do if you got your period while sleeping over at a guy's place? Like you wake up and there's blood on the sheets. I think there's really two scenarios here in this Code Red situation. I think one...

With any guy, like if you're talking to him or whatever, like you get your period and you're a girl like that's not your fault. You know, you shouldn't feel like bad about that or embarrassed. Just like, I don't know, maybe offer to wash his sheets. I'll be like, oh, sorry. I guess I got my period in the middle of the night. But say this were a guy that like maybe this is my first time with him.

Maybe it's a guy I'm like very, very trying to impress. Ooh, what would I do? I think that you would probably have to like spill something or get something there. Like what would cover blood though?

It depends on the massacre. Like, is this a big Red Sea or just a little dot? Because you could fix this with some like dish soap. Like maybe you cover it while he's getting up. You put a pillow over it and then like you get some dish soap and like get in there really quick and like fix it. But like if you can't do that and it's a Red Sea massacre, like I would probably like run to the fridge and like

I don't get food and running all over the bed. I don't know. That's a that's a tough situation in that moment. Like, I feel like you're just going to have to come clean. But at least it's like blood. Like, you can't control getting your period. Like, it's not piss or shit.

So that's good. Actually, one time in college, my friend, she slept over at this guy's place. But for some reason, she was like on the couch. Like it wasn't like she was with a guy like she just like slept at a frat house and was on the couch. She was drunk. And in the night, she peed her pants.

So she woke up and obviously the couch is soaked and it smells like pee. So she was like, oh my God, what do I do? And honestly, this is probably the smartest thing I've ever seen someone do before. But she ran and she jumped in the pool of this frat house, got herself soaking wet and then came back inside and like laid on the couch. So it just looked like she had wet the couch with her pool water, not because she pissed the couch.

So that's what my friend did in that situation for anyone who's like a bed wetter out there and you need some advice. But the blood, I think, I don't know if there's much you can do like besides just own it. Like I don't think that's something you need to feel embarrassed about. NFL man's here. Hello? Oh, okay. Has your dad or mom met NFL man? And if so, what do they think of him? That's a question that I got. Get out.

I don't know. Do you like my mom and dad? Don't be a kiss ass. NFL man has met my mom and dad. Actually, the first time that he met my dad was at the strip club. Or was my mom there too? I think it might have been the whole family. Mom, dad, stepmom, sister. I think we all were at the strip club in Miami. And weirdly enough, the first time I met his dad was at a club as well. So...

It's really just, we were just having a lot of fun over here. And it's kind of great because like in a club, you can't talk too much. So it's like, hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. And then like, you don't have to make that much conversation. So meeting the parents at a club is ideal if you're trying to meet a guy's parents or he's coming to meet yours and you're scared. What would Alex do if her best friend was dating a guy that you did not like? Oh.

I mean, this happens. This for sure happens. And I think everyone can relate to this because you're either the friend that like, you know, the friends don't like your boyfriend or you're the friend that like hates your friend's boyfriend. But this is kind of just another scenario. Like you can hint at it and maybe you can like

not hint that you don't like him, but maybe bring to light why you don't like him or why he's maybe not so great and like make your friend aware of that and don't let her be so blinded. But you also can't like force her out of a relationship. Like when you're dating someone, like you have a little bit of like a blinders on. So like,

You can't really do too much about it. That's kind of something that she's gonna have to like see for herself. I did this once with someone. So someone very close to me. I don't want to say who because it will give it away. But was dating someone that I just knew it like wasn't a good vibe going on. You know, I just I had a bad feeling about it and I didn't like it and

And I voiced my opinion on it a lot. The reality of that was that it just drove me and this other person further apart because she didn't want to listen to what I was saying. And she was siding with like her boyfriend or she was just in denial about what I was saying. Like she's come to me now and said like, I knew everything you were saying was true, which is why I like got mad at you and like didn't talk to you. But it really, really...

put distance between me and this person. That was definitely my learning lesson from that. They have to realize it on their own. You can't force them out of a relationship and you can't force them to maybe admit all those things, you know, even if they see it. So I think just being a supportive friend is most important and letting them know that they have someone there to lean on so that if they do

you know, kind of take those blinders off and realize that maybe the relationship isn't healthy, that they have someone to lean on and that they're not going to be alone. You have inspired me to start following my passion of wanting to do social media, but I'm nervous slash anxious to post because I'm afraid people I know will see it and judge me. How did you cope with this?

What would Alex do in this situation? It's not uncommon that if you're gonna post on social media people are like gonna make fun of you and especially if you're trying to do it in a serious way and people know that like they're gonna make fun of you. I got made fun of for so many years like you have no idea. Guys would always come up to me say things like oh she wants to do this or oh she thinks she's an influencer and...

I don't know. Like, I just didn't really care because I was like, oh, well, I guess, like, that's true. And at first, it definitely would...

bother me a little bit more like I think maybe my freshman year of college I was a little bit like more conservative with what I was posting or videos on TikTok because I was afraid of people judging me and then I just kind of like got past that hump and like I was like you know what I'm gonna do this and maybe I can make something out of it maybe not but like at least I'm doing what I love and

No one makes fun of me now. It's funny because people will make fun of you until you're successful at it. Just keep going for it because you should know in your mind that if you succeed at this, you will have such great success. And that's not embarrassing. And it's also not embarrassing to do something you love. And posting online isn't weird. And I know it can be weird when you're

kind of sharing things that maybe you wouldn't share with other people and it's so easy for them to access that online. But at the same time, there will be people who appreciate what you're posting and like what you're posting and it's good that they can access that. So keep doing you, keep posting and you really just kind of have to ignore those negative comments. All that probably is is people who are jealous and people who

wish they were comfortable enough with themselves to be posting online like you do. That was my TED Talk for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. This was a very therapeutic one for me and this was very fun to film. So stay tuned for next week. Don't forget to subscribe so you guys get notifications when new episodes are coming out. Love you all. Hope everyone is embracing their inner hot mess this week.

And I will see you guys next Thursday for another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. Bye.

Listen up, you naughty little pelicans. It's Harry Jowsey here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s, it's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boyfriend Material with Harry Jowsey comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations, and giving you honest advice on them all.

Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy every Tuesday here on Spotify. You know, you might potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy on Spotify.