Reigniting the Middle w/ Brita DeBrest
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Can't bless who you pretend to be or who you compare yourself to he can only bless you and the lane that was created for you I feel that for somebody you don't need no edge entity you need boundaries. What? I don't need your likes I don't need your validation All I need is a God fighting for me that says all things all things Child

Even though I'm a little bit of a Bible thumper these days, most of you know that I didn't start that way. Reading the Bible used to be a major snooze fest for me until I really started understanding exactly what makes the stories in the Bible so interesting.

If you start in Genesis, you follow this story of humanity and God learning to be in relationship with one another. Generally, we start off strong and then it all goes down in flames. If you don't believe me, maybe you go back to Adam and Eve in the garden. Maybe you start with Noah. There are so many times throughout scripture where we start off strong, but we end in devastation because what happens in the middle is what messes us up.

We get in the middle and we start to feel discouraged. We start to feel like maybe I can't trust God. Maybe God isn't faithful. That middle spot is where all of the complications start. Weddings start off amazing, beautiful. You're so in love. You have this beautiful ceremony. You get into them.

middle of that marriage you're having to communicate everybody's inner child and triggers are showing up the middle is what determines whether or not you're going to have a long-standing relationship parenting same thing my mom used to tell me when my kids were young that the newborn stage was the easy part now I'm in the middle and I understand what sis was talking about building a business child we got it off the ground how we keep it in the air the middle the middle the middle

When we think about consistency, often we're thinking about a start and a finish, but very rarely do we think about the longevity of the middle. One of the things that I am learning to do is to really settle in the middle stage and the stage where I'm still working, but I'm also having to rest, where I feel confident one moment and my insecurity is peaking the next.

I am no longer seeking to have it all together, but rather to invite the journey of mastery to meet me in the middle. Maybe I will never be completely masterful because my mastery will be tested by the reality of the world that I live in. So the middle is where it's all at. The middle is where our next guest, Brita DeBress, has found herself inspiring others.

Sure, she has so many goals that she wants to accomplish, so many things that she is going to see happen in the earth. But instead of waiting until she gets there, she's made the courageous, vulnerable, transparent decision to invite us into the middle.

If you have been consistent, maybe in a negative way, consistently failing, consistently starting something and then quitting something, and you are ready to start consistency that is headed in the direction of where you want to be, a consistency that lends itself to the positivity that you know is possible for you, then maybe you too need to stop thinking about the end and instead settle into the middle.

I cannot think of a more powerful guest to help welcome you to the middle ground than Brita DeBress. She has been an incredible family friend of ours for over 20 years. She is hilarious, but she is a light that is unmistakable. From the moment that you have this encounter with her, I know for sure that you will never be the same. So buckle your seatbelts, get ready. It's going to be an incredible time. Welcome to the middle. We're glad you're here.

Okay, so you have been a consistent presence throughout my entire life at this point, as far as I can remember. And yet I feel like I am being introduced to a new version of you. It thinks, especially in like the last year or so, I've noticed that you are really emerging with a fresh confidence, fresh vision for your life. What do you attribute this new version

this new revealing that I'm experiencing of you? Honestly, really, I got to give your husband a plug. Okay. Because it really all started on Thanksgiving Day. Okay. When, you know, normally I travel with my family or we're together and,

for whatever reason, I decided I'm going to stay home this Thanksgiving and I'm not going to go anywhere. And you guys go, everybody got on the plane. I went back home and you just happened to text me and said, what you doing? And I said, I'm home by myself. I just wanted to be quiet. You said, well, I'm cooking a little bit of something. So I run to your house on Thanksgiving day and I'm sitting there talking to your husband and I don't even know how the conversation came up, but it was, I was telling him something being very vulnerable, which normally we're all playing and the kids and everything. And I don't know,

I don't know what made me get in this deep conversation. And he sat up there with his eyes a little squint like most Christians do, like they smelling something. And he said, you know, do you believe that you deserve that? Or do you, how is your belief of what God said about you? And that's so simple. It's simple, literally as simple as somebody saying, you know, Mary had a little lamb, right? It was that simple. But when I got home that day, I was laying in the bed and I was like, actually, Brita, do you?

Do you believe that you deserve everything that you want?

And then I began to research that thing. And so I realized the first step that I needed to take really, as I was on this path anyway, it wasn't the habits that I did. Cause you know, I can, I can set up a fast. I can order a juice cleanse. I can see therapists. I can do all kinds of stuff. So I had the habits in place, but if you don't believe that the things that the hat that you're going to do is really going to work because

because you've had such a cycle of failures, you know, I'm going to start on Monday. I'm going to do this on Monday. Then it really doesn't matter all the things that I put in place because I didn't believe that they would work because I failed so many times. And I finally got it, really clicked that I deserve this. And then I couldn't stop right there, right? I had to, after the belief, I began to visualize what God said I can be, what I can do. I had to visualize what it was that I was going to do

The vision was so scary, Sarah, that honestly, I thought I was hearing voices. Literally, I called my therapist. I said, yeah, Dr. Goldstein, I'm hearing voices. I'm going to be a health coach. You're going to be a whole breeder. That's not normally your behavior. You're hearing voice. Like, I really thought like, that's crazy. I ain't going to do that. God's not going to do that for me. It was really that scary. And so really, it was just belief.

and then seeing myself in the position that God said I can be in and begin to try to walk toward that really. So that's really the chance. That's the path I'm on right now. So when you experienced failure in the past, you don't think you believed in yourself and that's why you weren't able to experience the success you wanted? Possibly. I really think that I did not believe. When you

you fail so much? So here's the thing. I'm very successful in every area of my life. I'm successful in business and respected. I'm really successful with my family. We all love each other. We get together every week. Ain't nobody fighting and cussing. No one's fighting or cussing in your family. Well, well,

We do fight. My brother and his beautiful mom just broke up a fight three weeks ago. He kept putting his head. And I said, stop. He said, I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. So yes, at 58 and 62, we still have fight like that. But we're a pretty good family. So at the end of the day, I think it was more like when you completely fail. Oh, it's the one thing I wasn't successful in. Right.

I won't say it's the one thing. I always think that it's, you know, when will I get married? Because I think I'm so fine. I swear. And that is not a joke. And that is not like one of those. I think I am fine. I think I have so much to offer. And then that like it's that I started believing. Yeah, I deserve that. God, you're not going to leave me out like that. You're going to bring all those blessings in my life. I was like, you don't get the life you deserve. You get the life you decide.

So I think it was a decision that I woke up one day and I decided I'm going to believe that I can have that. I'm going to decide that I can have that. Now I'm going to create the atmosphere for me to thrive in that. Okay. So you haven't defined what that one thing is for people who are just meeting you for the first time. So you're like, I'm successful in every area of my life, but this one thing, how do you define that one thing? Well, since we can't cuss on the podcast and I can't name the part of my body that I want to say, it's...

Is that big? No, it's being healthy and well. So even though I think I'm gorgeous, I know that this is not healthy. I know that this body in this 300 something pound frame, it's not healthy. So why can't I conquer that? What is the thing that keeps me from that? And clearly it's because you are not 100 pounds overweight now.

Just because you like fried chicken. Yeah, you must be eating something down So if you could just identify what you're trying to push down like I'm I feel like oby-wire Kenobi now like I see things clearly I hear things differently Something is happening the shift like your father's been preaching on the shift. The shift is coming in my life Yeah, and I feel it because I'm doing completely things that I've never done before. Mm-hmm completely different things so it's really in my wellness and

In my wellness. Okay. I love that you put the emphasis on health because I think that there are so many standards and messages in our culture, in social media, in media, on television that makes it about a specific body goal.

And when you're trying to reach a body goal, it can be very frustrating. But when you make it about health, it seems like that would alleviate some of the pressure to live up to a body standard and more about just taking care of yourself. Did you have to make that mental pivot or has it always been health over image?

Once again, I really do think I'm cute. I think when you start making decisions from your soul, a soul-based decision and not an ego-based decision, then you won't fall into the path of, I want to do this so I can be in a bikini. I want to do... Because the bikini's coming, trust me. Well, it could come right now. Oh, it's... Yeah. I mean, if you pull up pictures, you don't have a place to pull up pictures. I could. It has been there. Bikini been here. That's right. Okay. But I think...

for me if you make decisions you know from your soul and not an ego-based decision then you can't think of it that way yeah you can't think of it like you want to do this so you can be in that that's that's that's not even where I'm coming from I don't want my knees to hurt yeah I'm 58 I don't want my knees to hurt I want to be able to you know one day I just woke up and I could not bend down and get something under the bed and I thought like oh my god I must have pulled my back no I

You can't bend down no more. Like literally to bend down and get some under the bed. It's like I climbed a mountain and I don't even know when it happened. Yeah, it happened slowly. I just noticed that things are, you know, as you're getting older, those things aren't as tight. And so I really think that's what it was for me. And I just I don't want that feeling that I can't operate in the vision that the Lord showed me for my life feeling that way. Wow. That's really that that is really it. That's it.

That simple. Once again, Mary had a little lamb. Thank you.

Everyone knows Beth Moore as a dynamic Bible teacher. She has been a trailblazer for women in ministry like myself, but I'm not sure if you knew that she is also the author of a fiction book that has just as much power in its punch as her sermons or Bible study. I'm so excited that we are going to have her book for our August Book of the Month for the Woman Evolved Book Club. Her book, The Undoing of St. Silvanus, is a book about

about a family's broken past and how they managed to navigate to a place of healing and breakthrough. I believe that this book is going to be so powerful for you because it's also going to help you break the shame off of your past. I encourage you to join the Woman Evolved Book Club and to do the work with us in a community of like-minded women. Go to womanevolvedbookclub.com before July 10th and join us in August. You don't want to miss it.

No, I think that what you said though is worth a pause. Like I cannot, I'm going to use my own language because I can't say it the way that you said it, but I cannot walk into God's vision for my life, feeling the way that I currently feel. And that's just not physically. I think that applies to people who feel a way emotionally, mentally, um,

burnt out from their jobs. Like, I think there is a stage that we get to where we're like who I am right now, how I feel right now is not the type of person who can lay hold of that promise. And instead of giving up on the promise then or disqualifying myself because I feel this way, look this way, am this way, maybe instead I need to roll up my sleeves and do the work to get it done. And that's what you're in right now. Absolutely. And here's the thing.

What I realized, especially in the beginning of the year, if I was going to evolve and the woman that God has called me to be, I would have to inquire or increase some disciplines to make a difference. Otherwise, every year you're saying the same thing. I'm going to do it this year. I'm going to do it this year. But unless you inquire.

Or increase the disciplines to make that happen. You will not do it that year. So what's one of those things I had to do? I had to focus. I had to be disciplined in what I choose. You know, then you preach a message. What was the name of it? How to get your power back. Amazing. And you talked about your taste buds. Hello? Hello?

Right. Like at the end of the day, I don't even I'm not even hungry for the things that I used to be hungry for. I was never a drinker. Yeah. Like but occasionally I will have wine with dinner with friends. And because I work in the music industry, you always be treating backstage and there's something back there you're drinking and you're you kind of in the crowd. But at the end of the day, I think I've had a glass of wine maybe twice this whole year.

Simply because I don't even have the taste for it. Probably because it's worth some of these pounds. It's fattening. So I just think God has taken away my taste for so many things that I was hungry for before. And I think that there was a book. Somebody wrote Roxanne, somebody, what are you really hungry for? I'm watching my taste buds change as I put in those disciplines to increase or inquire the things that I didn't do before. That's how I know I'll stay consistent, consistent,

And what I'm doing, it is so different, Sarah. I'm going to be a whole different person. I'm starting to take applications for a man. That's right. Drop that. What? Yeah, I have applications for next year, 2024. That's second. I'm going to conquer this wellness. Okay. And then, you know, we'll put an ad now in the Christian, in the church bulletin for that. For your man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Your identity.

idea too. Thanks. I'm going to pivot from that. Let's put a pin in it. We'll come back. Thank you. You talked about soul-based decision versus ego-based decisions. Can you tell me

What was the condition of your soul versus how you're working on your soul now? Because you said that there's no way that you arrive here without recognizing that there's something on a soul level, not a hunger level, not an appetite level, but on a soul level that I'm trying to feel. And you're doing the work to fill that. But can you tell me first, like, what is what was the condition of your soul?

I honestly think the condition of my soul before was because I'm such a wonderful person. I know that's that that sounds so like, really, are you? But I really am. I thought that all of those things were just OK. Like I was doing enough to glide through life, you know, going to church or, you know, logging in here and there. That was enough. Given five hundred dollars in the offering. That was enough.

So those are the decisions I made before. But now, as I increased my hunger to be better from making decisions from a soul base, you know, it's not about doing just enough. It's about reading your word, turning off the television so that you can hear God. How you want to ask God something and don't shut up long enough to hear him? Stop playing so much. Even though that's my personality, I will always take the room as the jokester. I was born like that since I was a little. That's me.

But listening, walking into a room and instead of being the clown in the room, I walk into the room now and I say, you know, it's like, first of all, God, what should I leave in this? First of all,

I know you had me in the room for a reason. What should I leave in this room? And what do you want me to take from the room? I'm hearing God clearly because I'm just quieting myself to hear him clearly to, to turn off all my life. I've slept with the television on. I could not sleep without the TV and it's always on with some kind of retarded ratchet show or something or CNN listening to say retarded. Okay. I told you that. Edit it out. Edit out that please.

But some kind of show that was not helpful, helpful, wasn't kind, helpful or true. And at the end of the day, now just turning it off and just hearing God for myself. Like I, I cannot believe that I can sleep through the night without a television. That's 58. That is big to me. That's how I know God's talking. He wants me to hear him when I wake up at three o'clock in the morning. What are you trying to say to me?

Remember that time I came to your house and I packed up my whole plate of food? That wasn't funny. And God woke me up at 3.30 and I'm thinking he had something to say to me, but I was looking for the roll and I did not pack the rolls. That had nothing to do with what we were talking about, but I just remembered that roll. That hurt

my soul you want to talk about the soul that hurt my soul those roles okay but anyway go ahead back all that pivot stuff go ahead no everything's fine yeah sure watch me here we go are you ready I'm ready

I'm ready. Okay. So when we talk about consistency, I feel like consistency generally has positive connotations, right? We're talking about consistently moving towards a goal or objective that would make us better. But when you have consistently done something that was maybe harmful or maybe wasn't necessarily working in your best interest and you're reintroducing consistency, you're

I feel that what you're telling me is that in order for it to be effective, that it has to come from the soul. Is there a sense of...

to who you once were? Like if you are used to being the life of the party when you walk in, like do you feel a sense of betraying yourself in order to become the person who can lay hold of this promise? Like I want to make sure I'm asking this properly because I do think that a lot of people fail to change because they're afraid that the reintroduction of themselves

would shake up their lives too much and they don't want to risk the consequence of people not getting it, not understanding it, thinking they switched up. But the truth is that you do want to switch up and you do want people to make room for this new version of who you are. So how are you intentionally creating space for you to evolve as it relates to your relationships, your family, your business partners? You've got a big world that's

that's known a certain version of you and now they're getting ready or they are meeting someone new. Have you noticed how that changes anything at all? I have, but I don't care. Is the mic on? I have, but I don't care. Okay. Never,

That really is the thing. That's the other wonderful place that I've come to. I don't care what people think. I used to care what people think. Now I really don't care. Now, here's the great thing. God has blessed me with amazing friends and amazing family, amazing clients.

that love me. We vacation together. So I don't have clients that I don't know. I work with people I love and I like and I want to work with. So we literally go on vacations together. My clients love me. They've all offered for me to have it tucked,

pulled and everything because they want to see me around a very long time. I mean, who else going to count their money? Yeah. They want to see me around. So the good thing is I have an amazing base. And so I've really not been faced with people saying, oh, she knew now. But if they come once again, Mike on, I do not care. Yeah. It's funny. So you said the surgery part, you've actively chosen to not do that. Yeah.

I not only did I go through everything at Cedars, I got all the way up until the week before the surgery and decided to change my mind. Because I felt, you know, the surgery is a tool. It's just a tool. It's a hammer in a box. And until you change this, it's just a tool, which is why you see so many people, some people take to it and some people don't. I have a friend that

all his. Casey, watch the show. I won't say it because they'll know I'm talking about it, but they've had it three times. So the surgery is really nothing but a tool. You have to make up your mind. And I figured if I can close multimillion dollar deals and I can have a 30 year career in what I do, if I cannot manage and close this deal in my head, I

then something's wrong. Then the surgery is the least of the problems. I had to handle this. And I believe I'm on the track for that. I am so excited. I am so, so excited. Then I could just cry. I'm more excited than I've ever been about something because I know it's it. I know the change has come. Yeah.

I will bust out in that song change, but I won't because I don't want you to have to pay me for my music. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. No problem. It's so budget conscious. I could bust out in it. Okay, but explain to me, like you have to, even if it means you cry, like I want to know how does this feel different than anything you've ever, like what does it feel like? I'm walking different. I'm talking different.

Like I said, I go in rooms now like OBY Canobie and I scout the room. I feel it in my heart and my spirit. I'm here for a reason. When I walk in the room, I know I deserve to be in that room. There's something for me in that room. When before I'd go in as the jokester in the room because that's who I am. So I take the room that way. Now I know that God opened up that door for me to be in a room. Everything I do is different.

I'm in the market and I'm shopping and I promise you, I'll see a cookie that I used to eat and I'll have a conversation in the market like a real person that has a problem. Like, you know, you don't need that cookie. Just don't even put them in the cart. I would never do that. I find myself correcting myself and I never did that.

I felt because I worked hard, I'm up on this road, I'm doing this, I deserve it. I can afford to go take myself to eat where I want to eat. I felt like that's what I'm supposed to do. I don't do that anymore. Yeah. That's why I'm excited. Like everything I am watching change in my life. Everything. I'm watching God bring situations and relationships and potential situations in my life right now because I'm ready. Yeah. Yeah.

I wasn't ready. Okay. So speaking about the things that are coming into your life, you're not just really walking down this path of wellness and health with a level of confidence and discipline that you've never had before. You're also doing a lot of never been done before and preparing yourself to share your story and to help inspire others. Can you talk to me a little bit about God telling you that you're going to be a health coach?

and how you are sharing that journey, not when you arrive, but literally right now, allowing people to be on this journey with you. So I was in Miami at an event. It had to do with real estate and they had nothing to do with whatever. And it was from a gentleman who had done a show called The Great American Speak Off. And they're getting it picked up from a network and they had shot season one and

I didn't know this man from Adam, but I respected his business knowledge. So I'm at this conference with hundreds and hundreds of people and

And they just announced, we're going to give a golden ticket for the season two of the next great American speaker. And you have to get in groups and then the group will decide who was the most impactful in that two minutes. And then those winners will come and they'll compete. And then by day two, we'll tell you who's the winner who got the golden ticket.

So, of course, I'm thinking, you know, I'm pretty cool. I've done a lot of things. I've worked for Prince, Death Row Records. I'm going to get up and talk about that. I am Brita. I am strong. I was going to get up and say all that. Right. And the Lord, I opened up my mouth and I said, hi, I'm Brita. I'm your wellness coach. I had I don't even know where it came from.

And I said, I know, I see you looking at me. You're like, how's this girl going to be my wellness coach? And I said, that's because you didn't see me at 400 pounds. And now I'm down, you know, almost 100 pounds and I'm right in the middle of my journey. And I want to talk to you about celebrating the middle of anything to just celebrate yourself. And I was like, you're talking about wellness coach, celebrating yourself in the middle. You're not at the end yet. Like, what are you saying?

Long story short, I won the golden ticket out of all the people. Why? That was just a confirmation that God said, see, this is what you want to talk. That's when I thought I was really hearing voices. It was, I wasn't really hearing voices, but it was that crazy that this would be a path that you don't want me to talk about. None of those other amazing things I've done. You want me to talk about wellness coach while I'm still standing here at 300 pounds? That's God or me.

Or I'm on something. And you can go ahead and start a rumor. It's either God or I'm on something. So I'm going to pick it's God. Yeah. So I think that, you know, that's what I'm doing. And so after 30 years in a career of business management, I am transitioning to.

And next year, one plus one will still equal two for all my clients, but it'll look very different. I'll let the partners really take care of all of that day to day. And I believe that I will travel this world speaking on wellness. Yeah.

As me as an example. And you know what? People love seeing someone like them. So God had to really show me, because it was very funny to me. God had to show me, this is why I want you to speak on it now and not wait till you get to the 120 or 30, but I'd be dead in the grave and I still wouldn't be 120. But when you get to the 180, this, I don't want you to wait until then. I want you to do it now because people will love that they see someone like them.

So I said, OK, just don't leave me out here looking all crazy. And he hasn't. And so that's that's the new journey that I'm on. I'm the wellness coach. You are the one. 300 pounds. But I was 400 pounds. But I'm wellness. Yes. I'm going on a journey and I want to take as many people with me as I can. Starting right now.

This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Who am I called to be in this season? That's a question I like to reflect on from time to time. In changing environments, meeting different people, and facing new opportunities, I get to rethink the way I see myself. My husband and I recently had a conversation that honored a new way of being. I really needed to hear that. Sis, sometimes we don't know who we are or what we want until talking things through.

If you're feeling like you need professional support these days, give BetterHelp a try. Talk therapy is a way to deepen self-awareness, identify values, and guide you towards self-discovery. So how does it work? Easy. After filling out a brief online questionnaire, BetterHelp will connect you with a licensed therapist that aligns with your goals.

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it's brilliant the middle coach like this middle grounder

moment because I do think that when we think of consistency, part of the reason why it's difficult to be consistent is because we're thinking about starting and we're thinking about finishing. And we don't really settle into the middle because even when you reach 180, you're still going to have to stay in that middle mentality to maintain wherever you land. And that middle mentality, I think it's what builds our businesses, right? Like, okay, I'm not just a startup. Now I have to learn how to sustain it. And the sustaining

is in the middle. And so the more that you're able to highlight the middle, I do think that it's going to attract so many people who are hoping to figure out how do I do this for the long haul? I don't want it to just be a season. I don't want it to be a fad. I want it to be something that I'm able to sustain for the rest of my life. And it does. It starts on the inside. And that's the hardest work you will ever do

is in the middle of something. I don't care what area of your life. The hardest work, when you're starting a business, like you said, at the end of the day, start, it's really close.

You can still see it. Yeah. It's so easy to go back. Right. But then yet the goal, which we're always evolving. So I don't know if you ever really reach a goal. Right. Like your father said in church yesterday, when you finally get to the top of the hill, you've only learned that there's another hill to climb. There will always be another hill to climb.

but that, that beginning is too close. Like, well, I might as well just go ahead and, and have this and I'll start back again on Monday. You're looking at the beginning. That's a beginning. That's a Monday mentality. But then yet that, that wonderful place over there where you're at a healthy spot and you're ready to maintain it for the rest of your life. You can, you can see that, but it's a little bit further than when you can see that. So the middle is a blessing. I,

really don't even know where God gave me that. Honestly, I'm sitting there and I was really going to get up and talk about Purple Rain. I was. I was going to get up and talk about Purple Rain and Death Row and talk about guns and stuff. You know, little cute funny stories. You don't even like guns. I know. But I was going to tell cute stories about working. Okay, so tell me about working for Death Row. Mm-mm. Ha ha ha!

Because you said we couldn't say certain words. But...

But I've had an amazing career. God has trusted me with amazing people. And whatever, I will say this, whatever stories you hear about the people that I've worked with, some of them, they're pretty much true. But God has always graced me to be that calm, right smack dab in the middle of the studio. I'm the one that they respected. I can bring in the calm. And it's been a beautiful ride.

Did you ever imagine that your life would have so much color to it? Yeah. You know, my father, he died when I was eight and he was thirty three.

And I remember my father was a famous jazz musician and played with Miles Davis and all the big people. And I remember he would bring people. They would all be rehearsing downstairs in the basement. I mean, all the big jazz names. And he'd make them come upstairs. Look at my baby. And he'd make me sing and dance and stuff. So I was always that he called me Miss Hollywood, his little Hollywood. And when he died.

I thought so much of my life was like, oh, you grew up without a father and all that's true. Sometimes I have, I had a moment yesterday. That's anyway, all those moments do come up sometimes that, that my father died when I was young, but the beautiful moments come up. I can't tell that story.

Bottom line is, yes, I knew I would have a colorful life. I did. You can't tell. I can't tell the story. Well, because it was it's about a client and what they're doing is not public yet. So I can't use that. It's something beautiful, which I'll tell you off. But I just can't use that as an example because it's yeah. Mm hmm.

But I'd love to because it's a real good one. By next year, you'll have me back. Yes, for sure. And I'll tell that story because it's a good one. Okay. What a disaster. Yes, what a disaster. But yes, I know I'd be colorful. Yes, thus the colorful blouse. Okay, so Brita, one of the questions that we've been asking, which I already know what your answer is going to be, so I'm going to ask you and then we can unpack it. Uh-oh.

Who is the woman who, maybe this might change your answer, but it probably won't. But what woman in your life has been most inspiring because of how she navigates the middle? Mommy. Yeah. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. Can you please explain to them your obsession with your mother? Okay. Don't make me cry. I won't. Cause she's just wonderful.

She's so... I'm not crying. But my mother is absolutely wonderful. She is funny. She is strong. She is amazing. And like I said, my father died when he was 33.

And she has been a single mother who has put her children through prep school and she is giving us all that she can done the best that she could. And that was pretty good. Um, never knew we were poor when we were young, you know, she drew a Christmas tree on the wall and made us think it was the coolest thing on the block. She really just didn't have money to buy a tree. She's that strong woman. Um,

And then what I love about mommy, she's that woman that, that God would give me so many other, you know, I noticed that all of my best friends, I have like six best friends, six amazing friends. We've all been walking together over 25 years. Every one of them are close to their mother, just like me. Now I may go to the extreme because I still lay on her like Ella lays on you. And at 58 and you know, I go toward her and she's like, Tim,

Like, you know, a tree coming toward. But I still lay on her. I still lift her eyes open in the morning. Mama, you woke? You lift her eyes. I do. I do like this. Go, Mommy, are you awake? You awake? You awake? Yeah, so she's amazing. But God has given me best friends that love their mothers like that. So then I don't look so out of place because they're like me. They love their mother like me. I love your mother has been very, very.

beautiful in my life. I just, I, yeah, I just, I've been blessed, man. I've been blessed. And it took me all this time to catch up with the blessing, to catch up with what God said about me. And some days I feel like, gosh, you're just getting this at 58. Yeah.

And I realized, I turned on the channel and I saw Pastor Hannah say, you're right on time. Yeah. And so I finally stopped. You know, you beat yourself up. You know, I get delivered in this area, then you beat yourself up in that area. You get delivered in that area. So I was delivered like, yeah, I'm on to something. And then the devil said, yeah, but you 58. You ain't going to have it long. What a 58 is a new 25. So I could have it long, but I have to go through, you know, you have to still,

Tell your mind, no, that's not true. So yeah, that's, who's been inspiring to me and I'm right on time. Okay. So another one. Yeah. The next question after that is like, what do you hope that she knows about the role that you play, the role that she's played in your life? She knows. And what I love about

myself and my siblings, we treat my mother really well. She needs nothing from us. She's traveled this world a couple of times before we ever paid for her to go on a trip. My mother, when she leaves this earth at a hopefully 120, there is nothing unsaid. So when you say that, what do I hope that she knows? Nothing. I've said it all.

I've left it right on the table. And when I can't say it, I show it. Meaning that sometimes when I talk to my mother about, mommy, do you know I'll bust out crying? What are you crying for? Because she's very strong. So you don't see my mother cry. So when I can't say it because it may sound emotional or corny, I show it. And I'll say, hey, let's go on safari. Hey, want to go to Spain for dinner?

Literally. Yeah, I know. Yeah. So it's nothing she doesn't know. She knows it. Well, I'm going to try a different angle. Okay. Little Miss Hollywood. Yes. What do you hope she knows? That while you had a lot of bumps in the road, mainly the roads that you built, not even that were thrown at me, the roads I built, I built that roadblock in my mind. If I could tell her,

You're right on time. You traveled the road and you're on the way to something so beautiful that was always in you. Create the life that you want. Everything you need is smack dab in this belly. And I thought it was just chicken in there. And that's why I was puffing out. I'm pregnant with a whole bunch of great stuff. And so if I could tell little Miss Hollywood is you earned your name, rightfully so. You were coined that and the world is about to see that. That's what I would say.

Yeah. That's right. Deuces. No. Cut that out. Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

Now, Brita, one thing is for sure. When the two of us get together, it is always a fun time. I'm proud of you, though. You were really on your best behavior, which I know we were a little worried about. No cuss words or nothing. Maybe next time, because we will definitely be having you back. I cannot wait to celebrate all of the wins connected to this season of your life. I cannot wait to experience everything.

every dimension of who you are. I'm so grateful you co-hosted with me. If you are like Brita and you're trying to co-host with me, email podcast at womanevolved.com. We want to hear from you. Maybe you're not ready to sit in the hot seat. It's been a minute since we answered some advice questions. Send them my way. Maybe we'll have...

We have an advice question only episode. We've learned one thing for sure today, and that is that the key to consistency is focusing more on the process than the outcome. That means this week, that's what I want for you. A week of you experiencing the process over the outcome, then report back and let's see what else we can learn. Let's keep evolving together. Chat soon.

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