#99 Peanut Butter & Potato Chips feat. Greg Warren
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Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. Let's go, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. If you're watching this, I'm somewhere. All right.

Spokane. We got Aaron Weber, or Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, and the back, the beautiful Greg Warren. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming back. People are surprised you're back. They hated your episode. And it's a shock. They go, how dare you? You've been canceled. What?

What if that, what if you go out and get canceled? Yeah, what was it you said that got you canceled? Like, what if you go get canceled? And because we're taping this right after we taped that other one. But what happens if you get canceled? Do we just blur you out? You guys won't do that, will you? Maybe. Change your voice? Like, one of those, like,

Hey, it's me. Hey, it's me. Yeah. It's all your jokes. We got to take his name out. But it's like, yeah, that'd be hilarious. The guy goes, I don't want to be on tape. And they go, yeah, absolutely, dude. He goes, all right. Well, the other day I was going, my name is Nate Bargetti, by the way. And the other day near my house, I live over by. And you're like, well, dude, let us just show you then if you're just doing your name. I kind of like that voice. I think that would be better for me. He does voices. He does voices. Missouri, you know.

Yeah, yeah. Missouri on Missouri. Yeah. He does Stanley from The Office. Nah. Yeah. It comes every now and then. He's a voice guy. Oh, yeah. It's my whole act. Yeah. He does that when he has to. I do a lot of stuff with the stool, and I do voices. He does voices. I mean, he has to. The jokes are what they are. I started with as a voice guy. Yeah. Who are you looking at, Greg? Greg?

Are you on Aaron land right now? Welcome to Aaron land, everybody. My guest. I'm looking at a lot of posters and stuff back there. I believe you're on. Yeah. My name is on one of those. Yeah. Right there. Yeah. My first TV credit.

Uh, Greg Warren. Yeah. I remember that. And y'all thought I worked for CMT. Uh, I remember that. Did we? Everybody did. Cause I was like, I mean, I was, no, I didn't, y'all knew each other and, uh, from Bob and Tom, there's a lot of Bob and Tom guys. And then, uh, no one knew me. And they thought, I remember one point somebody goes, Oh, I thought you worked for CMT. Like, and I was just hanging out with the comics. Uh,

So it was very funny. And, uh, CMT guys got a pretty good act. Yeah. I'll tell you, I'm not gonna be honest with you. Not bad. One guy was like, it's about what I expected. Yeah. Well, that's what you get when you work for me. Your day job is this. Uh, so, uh, here we are this week. We've got, uh, Greg back, uh, and, uh, Hey, well, you need to look up because we said we're going to do it for things with the bio. You need to type your bio. I'll set that up. Uh, so, uh,

Let's start off with you guys, hearing from you guys. Angie, I love, we don't make you smart, we make you happy, as Nate Land's new slogan. Oh, that's good. You mentioned that last week, two weeks ago in the books episode. Yeah, I heard some of that. You said, yeah, that's what we do. Thanks for trying to get through it, Greg. Honestly, you guys, it's hard. I listened to one where you had Vecchione in there. I was listening on the way here. I was driving from Myrtle Beach, and it was really good, and I was like, ah, man.

I don't want to hear any more of this. I'm not going to be this funny. No, I get it. So you don't want to hear. It's better to have your honest reactions to whatever. I think for being funny. We go to radio shows. If you go do anything, you're like, I just need to be funny. If I know too much, you try to play too much, and then it can be not funny. I get it. So what was it?

You just, someone last week or in the books episode, but Justin commented about how they love the fact that you guys are, you just, we lean into our ignorance and we don't know what we're talking about. Yeah. And you said, that's right. We don't want to make you smart. We make you happy. Oh, that is a bad slogan. Yeah. Oh.

Thanks, Angie. I would have forgot it completely. So I truly would have. So that's not a bad. We don't make you smart. We make you happy. You forgetting it would be on brand. Yeah. Yeah. It goes. See, that's what Angie would say. She goes, oh, we don't make you smart. We make you happy. What are you coming after? How do you get off, Angie? She said, no, you said it. I go, did I? Yeah.

Yeah, that's it. I've got the bio whenever you're ready, Nate. All right. This is Aaron Weber's AI bio. Are you willing to put it up on your website? I'll put it on my website right now. Okay. Well, don't do it now, but it's probably a whole thing, right? Yeah, it's a whole thing. Okay. You just check out of the podcast. Do we want to read it? A good 40 minutes here over there doing some web work. Just programming it.

I remember building websites when I was in New York, like when websites were starting to become the thing, when MySpace was real. And then you had the website thing. I forget what it was called. You could build your own for free. Oh, yeah. And then I remember making mine. And Kix or something? Wix. Wix.

and then uh so i remember doing it i remember being very fun but i remember starting it and the next thing you know it is five six in the morning and you're like well i don't even know what happened you can do that because and you're just like and you're in the same spot that you were in and you're like i spent all night you made the background blue yeah you're like that took all i mean it took so long so let's do you want me to read it or do you yeah you can read i think all right yeah uh

Aaron Weber is a southern stand-up comedian who's a co-host of the Nateland podcast. He's originally from New Orleans, Louisiana. He started performing stand-up comedy in high school and at college open mics. After college, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in comedy. He's appeared on The CW and Channel 4.5. He's also a regular at the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

Aaron is a high energy performer with a knack for writing clever jokes. He's a relatable comic who talks about his life and observations in a way that's relatable and entertaining. He's a rising star in the comedy world and is someone to watch out for in the future.

I like it. Sounds about right. I just changed New Orleans to Montgomery, Alabama, and then we're all set. Yeah, I would probably change to New Orleans. The comedy store. Comedy store, yeah, I'll just leave that. No, leave that. Yeah, that sounds good. You got to leave everything else. I would say do that. You don't want to be getting emails about, you a New Orleans comic? Yeah. Come talk about Mardi Gras. And you're like, well, I'm not. I'm not from there. I beg to differ. Yeah.

The AI? People pointed out when you read the last one how you just nailed it, and you just did it again. When you read this, you're like... I'm a good AI guy. I should be sent to talk to the AI. You could be the liaison from the human race. I got them. I speak their language. I go, hello, and I tell them, they're coming after you. All right, this is a good bio. That's wild. What'd you do on 4.5?

That's the show that we did together. The Circle Network. Circle Network. Oh, I was on that too, wasn't I? You were one of the hosts. I have no idea what that is. You were one of the faces of it, Greg. Yeah. You're the reason. That was a genuine question. It was the reason you got picked up. They go, well, we got Greg Warren. They go, all right, I guess we'll do it. I was genuinely thinking it was a made up thing. Yeah.

What were you on in CW? Oh, that comedy. Howie Mandel. Howie Mandel. Yeah. COVID. In channel 4.5. Yeah. Not always. Like, oh, so he was on two channels? You go, no, no, no. He wasn't. He was in the middle of two channels. Stuck. Yeah. Yeah. If you're not good enough to be on four or five, I am good enough to be on that channel in the middle. And you got to have a special kind of TV to watch that channel. You do. All static. Yeah. You do have to. Thank you.

Yeah. It's funny that it's like still the idea of trying to make it like TV. I mean, their audience is just, I think it's like everybody watches 80 or above or something. Like it's like, they're not even. Yeah. My mom's the only one I know who got it. Yeah. To actually see it. And her friend Gail, the one who has the smartphone called her. She saw it too. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Wow, Gail does. Gail's nailing it. What does Gail do? She drives like a Prius or something? No, she has to be home. She doesn't drive at night. Oh. So in the wintertime, she can't go to night church because it gets too dark outside. Oh. But this time of year, she's killing it because the days are so late. It feels like there should be some kind of service or something. Yeah, they should do something for that. Why are you going against Gail? Gail can't go. The church should adapt to that.

I mean, does the church not see no one coming? And you're like, all these people don't want to drive at night? I don't know if it's a huge amount, but Gail doesn't see well at night. Yeah, a lot of older people, that's what happens. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I'll work on it. Church should adapt to it. Yeah. David Stadelman, Jr.,

David Saddleman Jr. As a disabled combat vet with deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, I think I speak for all service members, but I thank Nate for not joining. Not because I don't think he'd be a good soldier, but we don't necessarily need someone wondering how rain and clouds work in the middle of a hostile situation.

We do, however, need your personality and humor more as an outlet after tough situations. Thank you for your years of entertainment and a way to let go of some of the darkness so many of us deal with. And for the record, I'd gladly serve alongside you. Keep up the awesome work. Thank you, David. That's very nice. That's very nice. That's very, very, it means a lot. Still going to join, David. Come in. Me and you, buddy. We'll be riding around. You're like, I think he's over there. I'm like, what is over there?

I did hear on the episode that you went with Scott Kennedy. Yes. I went with him to Iraq. Yeah. That was, I think I laughed the hardest I've ever laughed in my life during that week, man. Yeah. Yeah, just some of the crazy stuff we got to do. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Well, when you don't have to live over there, it's a pretty good time. And they're...

That was always the hard part. They're like, thank you for coming. And you're like, no, dude, you have to stay here. I'm heading home. Yeah. I saw it. And that's what you do is real.

Tori Dixon. Hi, Nate. My husband, David, is a huge fan. We went to your show at the Palace Theater in downtown LA. He's also one of the helicopter police officers that flew over you so many times at Universal while you're filming your special. I think he feels like he was a special part of that show. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. So, Greg, I do comedy for a living. Oh, yeah. And...

But in my special aid, helicopters fly over. It just happened. There was a police chase. That's unreal, dude. Wow. And so it was in my special.

And so I had to talk about it because it was happening so much. Really? And so during the special, it's like all these helicopters flying. We just addressed it. We can't make jokes. And so we found out later it was a police chase. And it's unreal. This guy. That this is the guy. And he's one of the helicopter police officers. Well, hey, Tor, why don't you ask your husband, where does he get off?

Where? Calls himself a fan. Yeah. I thought you were a fan, David. It's a town that knows something about respecting show business. Right, right. I believe it says I'm a huge fan. Well, David, what the matter with you? That's unreal, dude. We need to know when he's in L.A. or comes to another show. You got a San Diego show coming up? Yeah, The Fair. I think he's coming to that. I'm doing that with Leigh-Anne Morgan.

San Diego Fair. That's awesome. Yeah, it's pretty fun. First fair I've ever done. That's a great show. Right after it's Bearded Lady, me, they're weighing pigs. So that's going to be the Bearded Lady comes out. I do me and Leanne do a hot 30, 40 hour, I don't know, whatever it is. And then they weigh the pigs. That's a great show, man. Yeah. We have to do it on the scale. So the whole time it just fluctuates between...

197, 180. Leanne's not happy about it, but you got to do it. I imagine you had to do a show on a scale. And you're up there. I mean, you couldn't even do, you know, you're trying to do no like fat jokes and someone's reading the scale and they're like, I mean, it says 450. Like, they can't get over that. Yeah.

Yeah, there would be a guy that locked in on it and just wouldn't. Yeah. All right, man. Yeah, it does say 450. Can we just move on? Can we just? It's a lot. Yeah, man, but it's 450. I can't wrap my, I just can't get over it. I know, man, but I got to get through this show. I've admitted to the fact that it says 450 on the scale. I did a couple jokes on it. I thought that was enough. And he goes, but, but.

when you're on a scale like you sure your whole act should be that. This wasn't my idea, man. I didn't want to do this. Okay. Yeah. Well, now it says 800. Yeah. Well, someone fell on it back here. That ain't me. He goes, you sure I don't see anything up there. You don't know. Oh, that was an old trick. Um,

This is the funniest thing. When you're a high school wrestler, your life is dependent on what you weigh, and you're just trying to make weight. And you'd have a guy that would just cut and wait, cut and wait all day, and you'd get on the scale, and you'd sneak up behind him and put your foot on the scale. Just to freak him out. You'd see the sheer panic in his face. Just being like, oh, no. Yeah, and it's like one of those things like a squirt gun or when it's –

It's so funny unless it's happening to you. It's not funny at all. And that movie, is it Foxtrot?

Foxcatcher. Foxcatcher. I haven't seen him yet, so no. Oh, well, he has to lose like 12 pounds. Oh, dad, come on. You ruined the whole thing. Yeah, no. Is it even worth watching? No, not now. Not now? The whole thing is about the weight loss? Yeah. It's a little bit. Come at Bates. I don't know. Just tell me the whole thing, I guess. He has to lose like 12 pounds in 30 minutes or something, right, to make weight? I don't remember. I mean, I did nine and a half in two hours one time with the Nationals, but –

How'd you do it? Just water weight. Yeah. But you can't do it now. Some of the rules, like, uh, back then we just put on those like sauna suits. Do you spit a lot? No, that's kind of like rookie stuff in high school. It's like rookie, like amateur stuff. Yeah. It's you to lose real, you just, you know, we'd seal off a shower, put all the showers on and you get ride a bike. You can't run cause there's, it's too hard. It's zaps all your strength. So you just, you would go in for like flights. We did it to, um,

The Scorpions live album, we had it down to a science. You would do the first two songs, then you'd go sit out a song, then you'd go back in. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. That's cool. That's a good idea. Yeah. All right. Well, yeah. They might come to that San Diego show? Yeah. All right. Yeah. We'll be in touch, and I'd love to meet you guys. That's so crazy. Yeah. Wow. Kayla Byram.

95% of the reason this podcast is so great is due to the relationship between you three. Could you please tell us how y'all met? The age difference between Batman and Aaron makes me curious on how this happened. Well, I think you were, you know. You're the 5%, Greg. Is that what you meant? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. Have we not said when we met? I feel like we have. I think when I met, I met you a long time ago. I don't know. Yeah, just in comedy. We were just doing comedy at Zany's. I was already doing, I've been doing comedy for 19 years. Almost, it'll be 20 next year, obviously. You were living in New York.

What about the next year? Well, I don't know. We'll see. That's where it gets tricky. I might skip. I might go backwards. I don't know. I'll decide. I'll decide how old I look. And I'll be like, you know, in about 14 years. What have you been doing? 15? Yeah, 15. Yeah. So I was already like... I was in New York. When we met, I was in New York and I was around that. You come home a lot for holidays and stuff. Big Vandy fans. Yeah, yeah. Did Zany's and would pop in. But I was in...

the thick of New York. Yeah. Well, like, yeah, I was doing, and I go see you in New York. You were talking about the, how New York sports bars, there's one for every team. Yeah. I went to a Titans bar.

I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I wanted to talk to everybody in there because I thought we all had this commitment. No one cared. I'm going up to people, hey, buddy. You know, because in my mind, everyone's from Nashville. No one was. They just, you know. The guy had a Nashville Sounds hat on, and I sit next to him to try to talk to him about the sounds. Yeah. Just doesn't care at all. Not at all. He goes, what about that picture we just got? He's like, I don't know why you would talk to me. It was true. The Cardinal bar was a lot nicer, man.

Huh? Yeah. The Cardinals bar? Yeah. Willie McGee was my favorite player because he played for the Nashville Sounds. He did? Yeah. That's probably my favorite player too, man. Wow. That's cool. How about that? Different generation. Yours, you liked him because he played Major League Baseball and you liked him because he was in AAA. AA at the time. AA. Nashville was not a AAA town at that time. I saw him early. Willie McGee probably doesn't even remember playing for the Sounds.

Brian got his autograph when he was in high school. Brian and I met just at open mics around town. It's all too comedy. Yeah. It's not. It's a small, you'll notice it's a very small world. Yeah. Comedy is. Yeah, yeah. We all just randomly, you end up knowing people usually before you meet them and then you're, you just meet them. And the age difference of, of,

Oh, they know. We ain't going to be hanging out. I heard once somebody said the difference between comic and non-comic is...

bigger than the age difference oh i think but yeah i don't know if i worded that pretty poor no no i think i mean he's older than me and it's like but it's like i've always felt an older comic than him just because i've done it longer than him and i was in new york so it's like i i absolutely i i go by your age doesn't even really matter like it's your years that you're in comedy you're just off comedy years it's like who the age is kind of like who cares

And it's, but it's like, well, I've been doing it 20 years and you're like, oh, he's only doing it 10. You're like, wow, that's crazy. And then, so like, yeah, it is, that is very, very true. I only judge something by the years and the respect, like the respect you could give someone is, it's almost like everybody above you is like, there's just a little, you kind of just,

there's a lot more respect giving about it because it feels like your elders even though I could be the same age as half these people oh yeah or something but you're like no no no you were you've been around for a long time you've done like it's there's a there's just respect that you have you know and then under you don't yeah yeah I remember that with like uh this is opposite I should show me respect shows zero that's what I'm trying the message is to Brian maybe

maybe show the guys that have been doing it a little bit longer an ounce or more just a little nod to the cap every now and then I don't think you got it I don't think you got it I remember figuring out Hedberg was that looks great yeah

uh Hedberg was like a year younger than me Mitch Hedberg oh wow what no he's like well you're much older than him now so yeah uh Aaron could you not what are you talking about he's dead he didn't hear he's died no I know he died okay that's the point he's much older than him now I get it do you not everything's a home run Nate shit you know

Show some respect for him. Show some respect. I'm the elder. You got a good batting average for sure. Yeah, I'm an elder. Sometimes it bounces off the fence. That's a solid...

I'm on base. I'm on base. You're on base, that's for sure. I set up later on, for later on in the game when stuff happens. Now I'm up to bat. Brian's going to get the RBI right here. Now Brian's going to get hit by a pitch. That's my goal. Yeah. Lead into the strike zone, Brian. Coach tells him to. Yeah. Who's up next? Bates? All right. Crowd the play.

Just please let him get hit. Yeah. Remember, stay into the front of the white line. Get all up in there. Not your elbow, your head. Put your head in there. Just turn your back. You're not even looking at the ball. You just got your eyes closed expecting the hit. Every time. Oh, golly. Every time. Did you get hit by a lot of pitches?

No, because I was so scared of the ball. I was standing at the back of the batter's box. I did that too. Yeah, I would do that. Sometimes you get to that. Especially when the kids got –

When they started throwing harder, I would get to that. Well, that thing you did with Sonny Gray, I don't think I could do that. Oh, yeah. Did you hit off him? No. We went down to Vanderbilt, and it was before last season, so he was getting ready to go. And so Sonny was like, just staying in there so I can have a body that's staying in there. I didn't have a bat or anything. And I'm like,

I'm like, Sonny, how do you feel amazing, dude? And he goes, I was like, because if you feel even a little –

Like, I don't know. You know, I was like, I don't want to be a part of this. Cause you're not wearing a helmet, right? I'm not wearing it. Some context leads the major leagues and wild pitches. Yeah. Yes. Oh yeah. He does. Yeah. So he's, he's not Greg. He's great. He's not Greg Maddox. Like he goes really hard. And yeah. Does he, did he throw a curve where it looked like it was going to hit you? Uh, he threw, no, I mean, he, there was nothing. I mean, I was standing, I trust in the middle. Uh,

But it was Coach Stallings. I'm blanking on his first name. Brandon? No, his son. Yeah, yeah. He's a catcher. He catches for the Pirates. I know him. I'm for some reason blanking on his name right now. But he was catching. And so they were just like pitching. And it's Stallings. Last name Stallings. Jacob Stallings. Yeah.

Yeah. What are you like? Nah, it's his other son. Hey, come it. You know? No, he had Jacob's songs. And so, great guy. And then he, huge, 6'5". That was a guy that was catching? He was catching. Wow. And then, they, so yeah, just sent me through it in like, I mean, it was wild. I remember I told Mike Ushimski, I'm friends with him too. Yeah. He just ruined my day yesterday. He just hit a home run off the Cardinals in the eighth inning. Into the water. Yeah, in the water. Crushed it. Uh,

Hit one the other day. I asked him to – because we were trying to meet up when I was in L.A., and he was under like – he ended up getting under COVID restrictions or something, so I didn't get to see him. But so we were texting. I told him, all right. He's going out to the game. I was like, well, hit a home run. I was like, for me and your baby. He just had – him and his wife had a baby. And they – and he goes – and he hit one. He texts me. He goes, well, I'm glad I did. And I was texting him, I guess, as the game was starting. And then he hit a home run. Wow.

Wow. And I was like, that's crazy. That's fun. Did he go to Vandy? Yeah. Wow. And then, so he, but I remember, because they, during COVID, they would go up there and practice and hit. They'd go to like a high school. I mean, he was like, you know, like, I mean, Sonny's out there pitching. Yashimsi's batting. Mookie Betts was out there. I mean, it's all these local guys. Really? And they'd all get together. Like, Stalin's like, of all the Vandy guys. And, but I said, I was like, you know,

Sonny would always be like, come out there. He goes, take some bad practice. And I told Yaz, he was like, yeah, these pitchers ain't going to hit me. And he goes, no, just come out and it'll be great. I was like, Sonny said he'd do it. And Yaz goes, uh. He goes, uh. You know.

he's like if anybody is going to hit you yeah i mean it's probably going to be sunny but no none of them are going to hit you but like i don't know if i've used his he's just a true worry like he's like i don't it's not worth it dude like i don't you know you're not missing anything uh all right uh

Rachel McLaughlin. McLaughlin. I've just passed all my CPA exams, and while Brian and Nate seem to have real accountants, Aaron seems like he may need some help. I'm afraid he's been paying a lot of penalties and interest for not paying quarterly or filing on time. I mean, there's a good chance I'm doing that, but the good folks at TurboTax got it under control. I got audit control. Audit insurance.

So if they audit you, you get... What does that mean? I don't know. You're buying. I don't know what happened. You're buying. What's the saying? They just upsold me. I'm just... Empty bag of something. I don't know. What's this? You're buying an empty bag of corn. It felt like that. Empty bag of corn. True, Bill. Is it empty or does it have corn in it? You think it does, but it's empty. Oh, okay. But isn't there a saying that's something like that? Sounds right. Man, I hadn't heard that one. It sounds like a folksy Midwestern saying. Yeah. From our generation. Empty sack of corn. Yeah.

It's probably, there's a saying like that. All right, I'm going to look that up. Corn salesman comes to your door and you all take it off. You open it. Do you pay quarterly, Greg? I do. Do you buy corn? Yeah. And I, you know, I buy some corn here and there. Yeah. Yeah, let's make sure we get into how everybody does their taxes. Oh, God. Yeah.

It's a simple question. We've already covered it. That's the RBI triple right there. That was not. That's right. I mean, that is just immediate. Somehow he gets, there's only me and him out there, but some of those three outs. You're like, well, how did that happen? And he's a triple play. You go, well, Brian, he got two of them were on him. Yeah.

Ben Rosser, would you rather murder at Madison Square Garden for an entire weekend or shoot a 100 at Augusta National with a foursome of your choosing? Who would the foursome include? I'd murder at Madison Square Garden for an entire weekend. I mean, that's your career. I mean, shoot 100. I was going to say, can you do that? I think I could shoot 100 there. I'd imagine. I mean, I'd imagine I could shoot 100. That's 36, though.

Oh, no. Yeah. If I can shoot it, look, if it's over the week, if it's two days and I shoot a hundred in total in those two days, I'll take that over the murder. That's a legend. I mean, that's a, you're, you're talked about forever. You're a legend. Yeah. You can go do Madison Square Garden for the rest of your life. Yeah. You can just, you could do Madison Square Garden. Yeah.

Just the guy talking about shooting 100 over two days. Yeah, shoot a 50-50? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. How would you break it up? I'd almost be like I would want like a –

You shoot like a 40 on the front side. And they're like, what? Nate shot a 40. He got a little cocky on the second day. You almost can't even break that. 50-50 would be crazy. You know, I'd want to. You shoot par in the first round. I'd want to. 72. 72. 28. Yeah. Give me 53-47. I don't want to look fake. I don't want to say it's 50-50. I want to go 53-47. You're like.

And then, uh, Kim Jong-un. Yeah, man. We were, I was in Myrtle beach last week and we played this mini golf course and they said that, uh, Jim Kelly, the quarterback for the bills had the course record and it was, uh, 18. Oh, wow. Which is, uh, a hole in every hole.

Was it nine holes? Yeah. No, it was 18. Maybe it was 22. Maybe it was nine holes. No, I played all 18, man. Yeah. There's no way. Maybe it was like 25. It was something where he was hitting. He got a birdie. He had to have an ace like every, you know, like he had two aces and then, you know, a two and then two aces and a two or something. I think you bought an empty sack of corn. Yeah, I did. I did, man. I think you did with that story. Yeah.

This thing coming pretty good. Tom Miles, my seven-year-old has taken interest in telling jokes, but as I'm sure you're aware, seven-year-olds have a hard time being funny when they're trying to be. Your timing. My timing in some sentences are like, what? What is even, as you're doing it, you're like, what am I doing, dude? It's a regular sentence. It's not like a special, we're not introducing a king. When he's not thinking about it and just talking, he's hilarious.

But when he tries to tell a joke, he always bombs. I was wondering if you had any tips for a real young, funny guy that might help him out. I would say just keep being funny the way he's being funny. Yeah, this guy describes. It sounds like all my family members describing my early career in comedy. When he tries, he's just not that good. It would be just be funny the way you're funny. And then, you know what? Tell him to start thinking about why you're funny.

Maybe that'd be good. Yeah. Like, why are you funny? Because then maybe it would help you figure out a joke. If you go, well, what's making you, you know, what do you think it is that makes you so funny? I got that advice. This guy, Ron said, you know, however you're funny around your friends or your family, that's probably the guy that you need to be on stage. Yes. Yeah. So you want to be you. So just keep being you and then figure out, just keep being you. And you're already funny. People are laughing. Yeah.

And then, you know, also if he's if he does something funny to like, you know, his parents also do try to do it to different group. Try to do that same funny to a different crowd. And don't don't tell the crowd.

The parents, they don't need to tell your parents. Don't tell them that I'm going to do this, but I'm going to try to do that thing that I did that made y'all laugh. And then when he goes and tries it, like you're saying, then it's like you're going to see, and it might not go good, but you're going to at least be able to tell, okay, why did that not go good? I did something different with this time and this time. Maybe not put a lot of pressure on the kid at seven. If he wants to stand a chance, Greg. Yeah.

I'd give him a couple of... Does he want to make it? You're right, man. You're right. These guys are getting better younger. Yeah. There's no pressure. Just be funny. I started to be funny. I was trying to give him one thing to try. You had him...

You were giving test audiences? I go, let me do something. Right now, don't get caught up in that crowd work game. I go, Tom, come on. You got to be putting out content. Content. You're better than that, Tom. You cut five minutes out of his ad? Yeah. I go, Tom, you're looking at me. You tell me you got three minutes. I think you got 40 seconds. It's a funny bit, but you're relying on it too much. Yeah.

uh, basically me and Greg are saying, Tom, just let me and Greg open for you when you become. Yeah, man. Yeah. We'd appreciate it. I'll send you a couple of clips. Yeah. Jared. Charmin. Charmin. But it's not like Charmin. Charmin. Well, how would you say it? That's shower man. Shower man. Shower man. But not spelled like shower. No. Uh,

You don't think he'd be like, shower man. And everybody goes, S-H-O-W-E-R man? And he goes, no, no, it's S-C-H-A-U-E-R. Oh, oh. Sorry, I thought this guy came from money. He's in this era of the shower man fortune. No, I think he's the guy that invented showers.

It's a superhero. Jared Shower Man. The shower family that invented all showers. After listening to the ketchup debate, I decided to check the label on my peanut butter jar. The label clearly states no refrigeration necessary. But because my parents always refrigerated the peanut butter after opening it, I couldn't quite pull the trigger on moving an open jar of peanut butter into the pantry.

I have a laugh with the words when I read them like open jar of peanut and I think it's over and then butter. After that, it was like, well, I didn't see that word coming. And then like into the pantry, I'm like, I thought we were done. That's because you're at the end of the line. Then you had to jump all the way back to the left. It is true. And I go, whoa, we got over here. You got an open jar of peanut. Stop. Butter into the pantry. And I walk on over to the other side.

I think I'm prepared for it to be the period to be after moving on an open jar of peanut butter, and then it's over. And so then maybe I'm getting shocked by that into the pantry. And I'm like, I didn't know where we were going to keep going. It's a little more on the end. It's a little more on the end that you go, I wasn't prepared. Right. I need to see where that period's at before I commit. I convinced myself it was the peanut butter company trying to make the product go bad more quickly so that you would have to buy more.

Back into the fridge it went. Does anyone else refrigerate their peanut butter? Or am I just a lunatic? Lunatic? Greg? I do not refrigerate my peanut butter. I had peanut butter today. My mom did when we were kids, though. Oh, yeah? I mean, I did sell peanut butter for 10 years, so I know a little bit about it. Wait, what? Yeah. Wait, you've talked about this. Yeah. That's true. So, you know, what do you think about it?

You sold it? You sold peanut butter? Door to door? No, man. I didn't go door to door. When in your life have you ever seen the peanut butter guy come indoors?

it's from a different time man i don't know if that used to happen here comes the drift man how old do you think i am would you go man you had the penis it was you and the milkman is it like ups fedex now yeah y'all would see each other yeah hey yeah y'all go eat and you're like that's cool man y'all are friends in real life though you're like yeah yeah like that's cool man yeah with him but the i was jif the peter

Peter Pan guy was not friends with him. Not friends with him. Well, the jelly people, you're almost like jelly because maybe peanut butter seems like it came first over jelly. Kind of kissing up to them. Yes. Oh, you think jelly's... Yeah, you know that's where the... Even though you are... You're like peanut butter would be like we're the staple. We're true to what we are. And in jelly, you're like...

I don't love jelly. I think jelly's flashy and all this other stuff, but they're moving. Yeah. It's the future. Yeah. So it's either be friends with them or don't. Yeah. Get out of the game. Yeah. Get out of the game. You're not going to change the game. You're not going to change the game. You met a guy that said. Jelly's the future. Yeah. Well, jelly was, it changed everything. It did. It changed the game. I would imagine peanut butter was first and it was like, you know, it's good. It's like. Is that right? Oh, no. I mean.

God, they make you really study when you sell peanut butter, huh? Yeah. I mean, you know, people ask these questions. You don't just don't go selling it. Yeah. Yeah. You know what's happening. You show up at somebody's doorstep. You better know your stuff. Yeah. I think nowadays there was no doorstep. Yeah. It wasn't like,

Girl Scout cookies or something, man. Encyclopedias. Come on. I had big accounts, Darren. Big accounts. You tie the horse up to the thing and walk inside. I had like Kroger. You know, like I had. Ooh. Yeah. All right. My bad, man. Yeah, man. You're kind of belittling what I did.

You got Todd Kroger into buying peanut butter. They were an anti-peanut butter. Go ahead. No, no. Now you sound like my dad. Okay. It was like, you know, I always had a hard time explaining the job. It was a good job. It was like, you know, paid a lot and it was a competitive job to get. But my dad was like, well, you know, you're.

you're not, you're not really in sales. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I am. You know, he's like, well, I've been going to the grocery store for 60 years and they've always had Jif peanut butter. Yeah. What do they need you for? I'm like,

It's not about whether they carry it or not. It's about how much they sell to their consumer. And there's all kinds of things, dials and switches I can move to help them sell more. And he'd still be like, yeah, you're not in sales. Like the display and such. Display is a big display. Shelf placement. Shelf placement is another. Shelf placement is another. You would be eye level? You'd like to be eye level. Yeah. You'd like to have a block.

You'd like to have a real nice block. I don't know why that's funny, Nate. I'm telling you, this is important stuff here. He said you'd like to be a P-Rod. It's just such a serious... I felt like I was interviewing to be a P-Rod. I go, so we want to be I-level? You'd like to be. Don't expect to be I-level. You're not just going to walk in there and be I-level. You're just going to walk in and say you're I-level.

I mean, yeah, you're a new kid on the block. Don't think they're going to try to throw you at the bottom. You show up the first day. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and I saw it in a lot of different places. I mean, Jif, we were brand leader usually. We were. If you walk into a store today and you see Jif on the bottom shelf, somebody did something to make somebody angry. Interesting. Yeah. Now Pringles-

that was a whole we were you know you sold pringles yeah i sold pringles so you got a peanut butter no no we i was saying they were the same company i sold pringles jiff duncan hines is pringles considered a potato chip it is you're selling very easy you're selling things that are not easy i mean these i'm i think i'm on your dad's team i know it's you're selling stuff it's like i don't know i swear i went through this the things that i have to have i went through this but i was like that's

That's like being, like you're selling cocaine. No, it's, it goes pretty good. People really like it. You go, oh, is it hard to do? No, it's, but there's, I had competitors. You go up against Skippy and see how well you do. Jif is the main, Jif is the main one. It is the main, but it got there through guys like me. You got the name. You got the name. You got the name.

Food's on the ground. Food's on the ground. Yeah. Shoe leather and knuckles. And now we know who to thank. Yeah. Okay. I started Jiffy's Belt with a G. I remember, like, at one point, I do remember my dad saying this stuff to me, and then I remember at one point thinking, like,

you know, I'm not a good enough sales guy to convince my father that I'm actually a sales guy. Yeah. That's when you sound retire. Yeah. I was like, yeah, that I remember having that thought and I was making good money. And I remember another time I remember like some, uh, like a homeless guy shaking me down for money on the streets and thinking genuinely like,

This guy's a much better salesman. He's got more charm. He's more succinct in the way he approaches it. I feel like you feel like a peanut butter. I wouldn't want him selling me peanut butter. I want you selling me peanut butter. Yeah, no, I had it down. I mean, I did some pretty big stuff. I mean, one time. Did you go pick up girls and you're like,

You had a little GIF. You gave her, hey, you wrote my number down and you have a GIF pin. And she goes, oh. You worked for GIF? I do remember like when I – I don't like talking about it. I don't like talking about it. Yeah. I do remember one time like trying to brag about what I did. Yeah.

you know, you're in that world where it was the P and Procter and Gamble. That was, it was the company to go work for and, uh, talking to some girl. And I think she said exactly what Aaron said. She was like, like door to door. Yeah. It's like getting Montreal. We get in Montreal comedy festival. Yeah. You tell your family and they're like, they, what? Yeah. How much, how much are you getting paid? Yeah. And you're like, Oh no, I'm paying to go. Yeah. I'm paying to go. Yeah. Yeah.

But like, how would you convince them? What's a sales tactic? I mean, the pure sales tactics I was never all that good with, you know, like the tricks. But I think you just develop a relationship with a buyer. You're making sure they're keeping Jeff...

You make sure that the Kroger's keep is happy. And then there, cause it's like, if you get moved out of that, I mean, you gotta think of it. It's, it could be millions of dollars. He's trying to make me out to be just some maintenance guy. And that's not what I'm a sales guy. I would go and say, Hey, you know, guys, you know, why don't we want to, I know you guys are going to have a, uh,

a weekly ad and that tends to drive a lot of volume. Like what back to school, you know, what's it going to take for me to be the peanut butter for the back to school ad. You might, that drives a ton of business there. Oh, I can see it. Yeah. You get, you get the guy that still reads that. Yeah. I mean, I, I, uh, yeah. And you'd like them to, uh, to display your product. And, uh,

I mean, you know, you just laugh it up, Aaron. How much peanut butter have you eaten? It's a good product. I love it. Guys like me brought it to you. I was just picturing you like doing this to some kid stuck at the show. And you walk up. That's how you start. You start that way. They start you at the store level. Oh, do they? Yeah, man. I had to start in the stores and that was tough. You went to college and graduated.

I did graduate. And then so... And then I'm in a store. And then you're in a store just... And what was your degree? Journalism. It's a journalism degree. And I was in the store. And you owe me to pay for your college loan. I...

I would go there in a company car and you'd go and you have to do these store checks and be like, hey, you know, we got this new item, Simply Jif. It's a little healthy. Low salt, low sugar peanut butter. Targeted towards diabetics. And here's some of the things I think. Here's why I think your consumers will want it. And I just, if you don't, I'll do the work myself. I'll work it in three facings. We'll put the tags up. It'll be here on Thursday. Okay.

But I had to work against like, when you're Pringles, we had to work, like Frito-Lay guys all had money. The Frito-Lay guys, they always had, they were bribing. We didn't do that. Oh, really? Yeah. When I first went, I was in Houston and I'd go up there to try to sell Pringles display and this guy, Pat, Continental Foods, he's like, I'd get like two steps. You got any baseball tickets? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, no, my company doesn't do that. We have, you know, I can talk to you about a concept about how we can increase your profit margin in the salted snacks category. Frito-Lay gave me baseball tickets. They gave me baseball tickets. My son loves baseball. Yeah.

You got baseball? I'm like, I don't have baseball tickets. I think you got them. You just aren't going to get, you give them to God. I mean, I spent a good portion of my time trying to convince this guy. You don't have baseball tickets. That I did not have baseball tickets. Yeah. He thought I was the best poker player in the world. Yeah. That I was just, at some point I was going to be like, you know what, man, I got these baseball tickets. I've been holding out for 18 months, but here, man, you beat me down.

I'm going to be honest with you. I've always had baseball tickets. I've never not had baseball tickets. And they're great baseball tickets. He goes, I knew it. You finally beat me down, man. He goes, I know Frito-Lay's got you up there in the cheap seats. Pringles, we're going to bring you on the field. Yeah. You want batting practice? Yeah.

So Pringles, y'all were more proud of your, we're selling a product, Frito-Lay's like, and you know what? When you look at the product, it looks like that. Frito-Lay looks like a chip that would be like, they don't play by the rules. They get squirrely. They get, you know, they can throw barbecue on. They have all these kind of different kind of things. It's like a very basic chip. That's like, you're just like making your own thing up out of like the same kind of chip. And Pringles, you know. Is that even considered a potato chip, Pringles?

Technically, we're a crisp. It's an extrusion process that you can't call it... It was a court case in 1975. We can't call them potato chips. Yeah. They're crisps. But the Frito-Lay guys... You were there that day. You had to argue for that. I was not in...

I was seven. Greg, when you were- He covered it with his journalism. He thinks I'm out selling door to door with a briefcase with Beaver Cleaver's dad. And you think I'm in a court case. I usually get all this. I'm so glad you're here.

This makes me feel so happy. Greg, your son is seven from your second wife, and now you're in a car debate with the Pringles and the chip people. No, no. And I don't want to... Stop me when I'm wrong, Greg. Is it... I know you have a lot of advertisers on this podcast, and I don't want to take a shot and stop me, but Frito-Lay...

They're bullies. Okay. Like they, they, they were, okay, good. All right. They were bullies, man. Cause we, you know, they, they, they pushed us around and, uh, what Frito-Lay we focus more on the consumer. So we, we did, we put a lot of our, our, uh,

our money into a good TV copy and good advertising. You didn't see a lot of Pringles ads back in the day and the consumer would sort of pull it through the system. Whereas Frito-Lay, they put their money into, you know, like baseball tickets and a shell, you know, we're going to give you, we're going to give you 500 bucks if you give us that shell space. When you saw, when Doritos came out, were you like, I just got to get out?

Doritos came out. I was a kid and I was thrilled. The Dorito game stepped up where you go, I can't do this anymore. And they were out there smoking cigarettes and they're just handing kids Doritos over the playground. You're like, they shouldn't even be hanging out that close to the kids. That's how I feel. Doritos like that. I mean, I'm not that old. I know. I, I,

I do remember I was, uh, I was working in the main office in Cincinnati. I had worked my way up, you know, through the sales and they put me into an assignment in the big office. And, uh, somebody sent me, one of our reps sent me, uh, Frito-Lay was running a test market, uh,

of those things that look just like Pringles with their, their version stacks. I think they're called. I was the first one in the company to like see him. And I remember taking him down the hall. I don't know why that's funny, man. I mean, this is important. It is traumatic.

I'm like into it. Millions of dollars involved here, Aaron? This is a big deal. There's no irony here, man. I'm into it. I mean, I got those stacks and I took them down to the general manager who didn't even know who I was. But I was like a celebrity for the next week. You just come in and take your hat off and you walk in and you go, how you doing? I go, war dog? He goes, you have war dog here. He goes...

You know, I do over there at the, you know, in between Johnson and Smith Street. I'm right down there. I'm that Kroger right there on that corner in that Walgreens across the street. Anyway, I just had. Yeah, man. Frito-Lay. And we went. I like to picture you, too. Someone comes in. It's the first time you heard about Bugle.

What's those chips called? Bugles. Bugles. So first time you tell me this is true. Okay. So you guy comes in, your first reaction to it, he goes, Greg, war dog. Do you hear about the bugle? You go, the what? What?

Was that your first reaction? You couldn't believe that they were being made. Once again, I was a child. They were already there. I will tell you, Bugles, we were like sort of in the reject group together. So you have your chips that are delivered directly to the store with trucks, like Frito-Lay trucks, the bag chips because they can't go through the system because they're going to get beat up because they're bags and they get smashed. Then you have what they call warehouse snacks, and that was like –

the dork aisle. They sort of shoved us all. If you notice, like you have to chip, like just aisles full of chips. And you got this one aisle full of all the dorks, like Pringles and combos and bugles, goldfish, all that. We were in, it's called the warehouse snack aisle. Now,

We were kind of the king of the dork aisle. We were the main player over there by far. Yeah. But you still kind of felt like second class citizen. Wait, who was the first class citizens? The Frito-Lay guys. The bag chips. Oh, bag chips. Oh, because you're in a...

We would ship our product to Kroger's warehouse, and then Kroger would send it out on Kroger trucks with the rest of the groceries, whereas Frito-Lay, they had their own trucks, and they just delivered. So they're in there every day with baseball tickets. Just loud music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all partying. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Frito-Lay!

Paul's here. Paul's here. Yeah. Comes in, walking in, just throwing chips at kids, hitting them in the face. Yeah. I don't, we have too many of them. Don't worry, you know. It's kind of how it was, man. Was it hard to sell the can over the bag? Like did people, they go, I want the bag. And you're like, well, we have a can. Well, I mean, our advertising. Oh, you have a, how do you have these? I'm just good. Did you just bring these?

Or you knew he did this? I've got a few things down here. Bates, I was part of the team. I was there when we launched Salt & Vinegar. We launched it with Pizza-licious. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to get... I liked watching you watch. You liked it. You...

Are we questioning it? You like an ad read. I thought it was solid. Yeah, he did. I thought it was... You got a little cocky at the end when you threw the paper. I didn't care for that. Low old school, didn't care for that. Yeah, I didn't care for that. Act like you've been there. Yeah, act like you've been there. That's the kind of confidence I would have brought into Kroger trying to, you know, if I would have... Sell these guys. That's right. So Pringles, salt and vinegar. I mean, I... The ultimate daily snack. The ultimate. So you...

I was there when we brought it out. The ground floor. Yeah, and I got to admit, that came out with Pizzalicious, and they sort of had salt and vinegar slated. They thought that would be the big hit. Pizzalicious was Pringles? Pizzalicious. So they came out with both. Yeah, at the same time. I think I still would like Pizzalicious. Pizzalicious.

crushed it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Had a picture of a slice of pizza on there. Yeah. That, yeah, that's a great, uh, great product. Um, with the kids, we didn't, we underestimated how well pizza. Now, Greg, let me ask you this for a product like this. That's going to be a hit with the kids. Do you try to put that on the bottom shelf?

In the grocery store? You know, it's a good point. No, I mean, you want the block. I mean, what you're looking for with Pringles is a four-foot top-to-bottom block. And, you know, back in the old days, they'd have the bag chips, right? Picture all the bag chips. And then we would be on the bottom shelf, you know,

like where you couldn't even see a space. Where you keep the, like a bleach. Yeah, dusty down there and stuff. It's like going under someone's sink and you're like, but there's some good chips under there. And you're like, you're not supposed to drink anything under the sink. Yeah. And that's what it felt like. It did feel like that, yeah. But then, you know, we started going in selling a,

a reset of the section saying, hey, what if we went top to bottom with the Pringles and here's some of the, you know, we sold with a lot of data. You know, we got some data that says when they do that. Yeah, a lot of analytics. Old school. Yeah, we say, hey, you know, your category, your salted snack category is going to go up 30% in margin. Y'all are like the money ball chip.

Like y'all were. Yeah. Yeah. You're like money ball and baseball. Like your first ones use analytics. There's rich companies and there's poor companies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

We were. Was pizza-licious a big deal for y'all? I think pizza-licious slated right in at like a number five, our flavor lineup. Here's the thing, and it's a secret. Yeah.

The red can original, red can, you're doing about 80% of the volume in that red can. I don't know what's funny about this. I mean, this is important stuff. Number five in the flavor lineup. Yeah. Which they probably had it slated at a nine when they probably thought it was coming in at a nine. You had red can original is 80% of the business. Yeah. Okay. And then you had what we called right crisp. Couldn't call it light.

We did call it light and then they said we couldn't because it wasn't low fat enough back then. So we had to call it right crisp. It was in a silver can. That was usually the number two. So y'all didn't think about making the chip healthier. You just said we'll just change the name a little bit.

I mean, it was healthier. Yeah, it was healthier. It was healthier. I agree. Just not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Yeah, I agree. I still think it was a smart choice. I mean, you know. And then the green canned sour cream and onion, that's a solid, solid flavor. And then Cheezums. Cheezums was probably a number four. And I'll tell you-

And I lose sleep over it even today. We never got the barbecue product right. Yeah. We never got our fair share of the barbecue business. We didn't. And that's a big deal in chips. A huge deal in chips. I go barbecue a lot. I go barbecue probably the most I would go of something. And it's Lay's Barbecue, right? Do you eat barbecue Pringles? No. You don't? No. That's true. That's on us, man. That is. That is on us. That's not on you. That's not on you. The fact that you guys...

Yeah, you own up to it. You own up to it. I will go do more of your barbecue Pringles. Yeah. Because I know you're trying. Yeah, we tried, man. We tried. And we also tried to get into the tortilla chip. Yeah. How are you going to fit a triangle into a circle or thing? Well, we had a triangle can. It was a test market. It was called Tarangos. And Tarangos...

Man, it was a very expensive product. I think you're paying like six bucks for a can of Terangos. It tasted good, but man, that thing did not get off the ground. Terangos was a horrible failure. Such a good triangle. There it is. There's Terangos. Yeah, yeah. There's Terangos. It just never took off. Look who sneaks up in the bottom. Fritos. No matter what you type in. Oh, yeah. Pringles Terangos right here. See that internet search right there? There's baseball tickets involved.

in that. Somebody at Google got some free baseball tickets. I agree. Fritos, you're cheating all the time. It makes me...

Dead gum, yeah. But those ones that are the squirrely ones are the... Oh, the twist, the spirals. Those are unbelievable. It's a good product. It's a good product. You got to give credit where credit's due. It's a good product. Yeah, you own up. They're doing good things, though. They do. Yeah. I mean, I'll say it when it's true. In the peanut butter business, I don't care for some of those other products. What about Reese's Peanut Butter? Yeah, that one got to me, okay? And that...

That one... You got mad at me when I said it. I've discussed it in my act and I'll discuss it now. Here's the thing about Reese's. I don't like Peter Pan and I don't like Skippy. Absolutely. But I respect him. They were there...

They were there for a long time. Peter Pan was there in the beginning. Oh, wow. They were the first national brand peanut butter. Is that a Netfune channel? Skippy was a Netfune channel. Okay. Skippy was there in the beginning. Reese's just jumped in the game. And I'm sure they were thinking, hey, we're a peanut butter. We're a candy bar that has peanut butter as a main ingredient. How hard could it be to be just peanut butter? Right.

Real hard. Yeah. Okay, real hard. Yeah. When it's not your main focus. Yeah, you're going to find out what it's like to stand on your, there's no chocolate to hide behind over here. We're not playing, we're feeding families in this aisle. Okay? The people are going to work with this product. Okay? You just be a candy bar. That's what you are. Yeah. You don't see Ring Pop trying to get the jewelry business. Okay? It's a thing. It's a profit. It's a profit. You're hiding behind. You're right, man.

You're right, Nate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is peanut butter. You're a tribute band. You come out while you write your own song. Yeah. Exactly. You can't.

peanut butter. We're on our own. Someone else's right here. We're right here, man. It's all we got. We're pretty and we're, and we're happy to do it. Yeah. Uh, so yeah. Uh, but, but yeah, I like Frito. I mean, we try to get in the corn chip business too. Didn't go well. Uh, uh, I don't know if we had like, uh, I don't even know what they were called. It was white popcorn flavored Pringles. Uh, we had corn flavored Pringles. Uh, and I'm not going to lie. I had to go pick up some of those, you know, uh,

I did. No, that's a new one there. That's way, way ahead. I mean, you probably won't even find one of them. Yeah.

No, no, that's not it. Uh, corn crisp. There they are. Right. I picked, I was, I was, I had to pick up some of that, you know, like you have a company car. I had to come out like a guy carrying like, you know, an architecture, like has all those long things out. Yes. Yes. Long tubes. You want to be defeated. Yeah. Cause the store's like, Hey man, you just throw it in the back of your truck. Yeah. That's a bad day. You throw it in the back of your truck, your car in the trunk. Uh,

I got a Ford Taurus and a big trunks in there. And yeah, when the store's like, Hey, you got to get out of here and get rid of these things, man. They're not, they're not. Yeah. You're like, I will mark them down. They go, they're marked. They are marked down. They are marked. We're not even, if people steal them, we don't stop. And they're not, and they're just not moving. It's, it's a tough, we let them, if they steal something, we go, you got to also steal these chips and they bring the thing they stole back. It is. It's a tough pill. They don't want to be. Yeah. It's part of business though.

part of the business yeah it's why you get in it it's like a comic you have a few bad sets now you own it yeah you do that you have to go out that at store and pick it up now it's part of you it's made you better yeah it makes you makes you now you're like anytime you ever see that you would just be like yeah it makes you appreciate the wins more doesn't it it does man yeah it does yeah you see it you're just like spend a weekend there one month right yeah biggest loss i was involved with was uh and i'm sure you guys remember this product it was going to change our whole company uh

Fat-free Pringles with Olestra. It was a fake fat substitute, and we were going to make billions off of that, and it didn't go well. You put everything behind it. Everything. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. It didn't go well so much that I don't know what you're talking about. Look up- You come from the world of going like, you're probably going to know about it. Olestra got a lot of media coverage because they had to put a warning on the can about some-

Side effects? Side effects with your stomach. It was terrible. It's time of age now. You can't just eat chips like the old days. You got to go, yeah, dude, you're going to feel it. Yeah, we did. Do you know everything about potato chips? No, no, I'm not saying that. I've been out of the game. I'm not going to lie to you, Brian. I could jump into the chip game probably, give me two weeks and I'm back there selling chips. You think quicker than peanut butter?

No, peanut butter was my, that was my go. That was your jam. You get tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Now the one I'll admit that passed me by that is coffee. Like I was, we sold Folgers and now with all this Keurig stuff, I don't know. I don't know what. Yeah. What's your price on, you talking about a percolator? You talking about auto drip? No, it's Keurig. Yeah. Well, I never, I don't know what, I don't even know what the price points are. You don't even know. Yeah. Yeah. I understand that. I feel like, I don't know, I feel old walking down that aisle. Yeah.

We had on here a few months ago a big debate about what goes in the refrigerator and what can leave out as far as condiments. Ketchup, butter. I don't think we ever answered this. So peanut butter, what do you use? I mean, personally, as a consumer, I just don't think if you put it in the refrigerator, it doesn't spread well on the bread. It tears your bread. Yeah. Yeah, I guess if you had like a real –

like a seven, like Dave's killer bread or like a seven grain, whole grain toast. Yeah. They can handle it. Yeah. That maybe could take that. Maybe eating off a table. Yeah. But I, and my mom liked putting it in the refrigerator, you know, obviously I love my mom, but, but that's one of the few things that I don't do. You disagreed with the way she did the peanut butter. Yeah. You know, it was a, y'all fought about it. We're fighting.

In New York City, I'll find a peanut butter bar. Your mom's going to go, what are you going to find a peanut butter bar? I mean, when we were in her house, I respected the rules. I'm just saying, at my house, you know, you come to my house. I feel like your mom came over and there's a little shot at her. She gives peanut butter out. She goes, why is that peanut butter out? You go, you do you? Yeah, I'm a grown man now. I'm a grown man now. Yeah. And also, I'd sell this product. Yeah. Yeah. And we're not supposed to put that bread in there. What about regular butter?

Well, that's got to be, you got to put that in the refrigerator, right? You would think. You would think. You can store a dairy product out of there for how long? Up to a month, according to this. And does anybody do that? Ours is, no, Laura keeps ours cold, but it's,

But I mean, when you spread cold, it's like brutal. It's a nightmare. Yeah, I guess it is. If you're using, if you're eating butter every morning, if you're eating that much butter, I would leave a stick out. Like if you're like, I'm, I'm eat every morning, I have a piece of toast, I put butter on it. I think you leave it out. If you're eating that much butter.

You don't have a lot of time left anyways. You do whatever you want. Yeah. You're not going to make it. That butter's going to make it longer than you are. Now, I don't know if the difference between salted... This says salted butter has less of a chance of spoiling on the counter than unsalted butter. That makes sense. Yeah. I don't even know what butter has salt and what doesn't. I just... It usually says it on the... It says it. I mean, I do some baking, so it's...

Usually the recipe will call for unsalted or salted butter. Did you have some days when you came home and you're just like, just, I mean, throw your jacket against the couch and you're like, he's Pringle. Yeah. Just like these days of going, you know, you're like, oh, I got beat up, man. Frito-Lay guys. Yeah. Here's what happened. You got a black guy. You got a bunch of dumb Frito-Lay guys. Yeah, man. They don't care about anything. And the worst was when it was on me. Yeah. Yeah.

Like when I made a mistake, like we ran Crisco 64 ounce oil in an ad at Fiesta Marts. It's in Houston, Texas. It caters to Hispanics and it's a giant grocery stores. There's like 50 of them. And I got this ad for, you know, 64 ounce oil. Yeah. And yeah.

The warehouse that they pulled from ran out and it was my fault. And I had to go home. Because you read the ad. Because I ran the ad and I was also the one calling on the warehouse. And they had some goofy numbers in there that I was supposed to keep my eye on. It wasn't real inventory. And I just looked at it as real inventory. And they told me,

These are goofy numbers, and I just took my eye off the ball. And they ran that, and they probably substituted my competitor. They probably gave him Wesson instead. And it could have been a career-making moment. And I ate that one. That was on me. There's nobody to blame on that one but me. I screwed it up. War dog. Made a mistake. It was awful. It was a terrible feeling. You still keep Chip at night.

no i wouldn't say that but i mean but i i mean i you know there's a lot of families out there doing weston you go i think i could i think you could have brought them over could have been me it could i could we could have crisco could have crisco could they should be a crisco family yeah and and that at the time the puritan was under the crisco uh yeah label so you know yeah um yeah canola oil so what was y'all's main thing if pringles and you have all these other things well here's the thing man we

We were kind of like the stepchild. Behind the scenes. Stepchild division. But not for peanut butter. You're the big dogs. We were, but within the company. Wait, peanut butter was with Pringles too? Yeah, I was the food beverage rep. So we had all the food beverage. But for all the divisions, we were the – because their other divisions was Tide. I mean, you know how much Tide, Downey, Charmin, Bounty, Crest –

Those people looked down on that. Yeah, baby. Yeah, they looked down on you. Old Spice. They kind of did. Yeah. And those guys kind of pushed them around, and they took it out on us because we weren't the big deal. Yeah. And now, Duncan Hines, that was a brand I had. And what is Duncan Hines? Cake mix. Oh. What is Duncan Hines? I just bought a cake. I don't know. So this is all...

These are the Procter & Gamble brands right here. I didn't even know. I thought Procter & Gamble was like an insurance company. I thought I heard about it. I had no idea what Procter & Gamble was. You recognize some of those brands, Nate? Yeah, they're doing a great job. I mean, yeah. I thought Procter & Gamble was like one of those things they have on Wall Street where they got all the...

They stole the money from them. Like Goldman Sachs? Yeah, you're like proctored and gambling. P&G, those crooks. Are you kidding me, dude? Everything. And I don't even know. Tide's not even on there, and that's the biggest brand. Tide is like a Fortune 50 company by itself.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Tide's huge. So if you, I mean, so yourself, would you have wanted to get to the Tide? No. It's hard to get up there. No. You don't want to. I didn't want to be in there. I was proud to be where I was, and I was passionate about it. Proud of what you do. And the company doesn't even have those brands anymore. They're all spun off. It's sort of. Oh, head and shoulders. Yeah, yeah. Love's was not us. Love's isn't us. So it's interesting. So when it shows you this, it's like Project Gamble's thing. Yeah, food's not even really on there because it's.

It's just food's not – I remember working for – when I worked for FedEx. Yeah. And you would say –

Who's your... I was like, oh, it's our competition, UPS. Yeah. And they're like, no. I mean, it was either UPS or the posters. They're so far ahead that we can't even... FedEx was? No, no. They were above FedEx. UPS was? I think so. Really? I think it was...

They've been around, I think, forever or something. And it was like, there's just so much. I think that's what it was. And then it was like DHL was coming. It was new. I remember them. You heard about DHL and you heard about the... I was on FedEx trucks. I was in New York delivering FedEx. Were you? Yeah. And you see the DHL guys show up in their yellow shirts or something. You're like, these guys just ringing all the doorbells, just trying to get in. Wannabes. Wannabes. They weren't us. I agree. I took pride.

on it. Yeah, man. Yeah. Well, they're close. They seem close now. I want to say maybe it's the regular postal service too. It still did a lot. Yeah, the USPS. Yeah, they do some business. Did you sell jellies or jams? No, we never got into that business. However, Jif is currently owned by Smuckers.

Wow. Smokers came in. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean. Now you're in it. Not a bad group to get together with. Yeah. I mean, I think it's borderline monopoly. That is true. Yeah. Yeah. If they get a hold of bread. Yeah. We're in big trouble. Yeah. So those are real companies, but then.

It's a dynasty. What's that? That would be a dynasty, right? Like a monopoly. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Well, then you start going and you start looking at Tide and you go. You have to break it up. You'd be catching Tide. You get bread, peanut butter, and jelly. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Tide's big, man. Procter & Gamble's huge. I mean, some of those health and beauty brands, like Crest.

Crest is a monster. Scope. They had Crest and Scope, man. I mean, that's... Oh, Procter & Gamble did? Yeah. Always. Yeah, they have everything. Yeah.

Olay. Head and Shoulders. NyQuil. NyQuil. Bounty and Charmin. Bounty and Charmin are monsters. But I mean, the one that I'm not... Pampers. Yeah, Pampers. Pampers. I'm sure you're figuring that out. And we used to get a lot of free product, the new stuff. So the guy, anybody on our team that had a newborn, the paper guy would take care of them. Oh, that's awesome. They'd give them Pampers for the next... So no baseball tickets, but...

Well, but I mean for themselves. We take care of each other at Procter & Gamble, which is why we're where we're at and where you're at. I like Procter & Gamble. So they make all those products. He thought they were an investment firm. People can learn, man. That's what this whole thing is about. It's about learning.

And I'm going to try to get a job there. I thought Parks and Gamble was bad. Turns out it's my favorite thing. Oh, look at this. Yeah, man. They got Dawn. They got Pantene. Pantene. They got Tide, and they also have Gain because they're doing so good that they go, we might as well throw another one in. Gain is a little bit of trickery in my book. It's very aromatic. Like there's a lot of sort of perfume put in Gain.

It's probably like one of the ex-wives, maybe. You know, you feel like one of the, I don't know who, Procter or Gamble, but someone is, you know, someone got, goes, well, I want to make my own. He goes, yeah.

Go make your own. Just do it. Just do it. Maybe a kid, he's like, just make your own. I call it gain. They go, yeah, yeah, gain's fine. Like a producer whose girlfriend wants to be in a movie or something like that. Yeah, and he's like, you know, Dr. Proctor, Mr. Gamble, just don't even. Yeah. They're like, they go gain, you know. Right. They go, I don't even know how much we got, and it's a billion dollar company. Let me tell you something. And they go, that's the least one that matters, and it's a billion dollars. Yeah, yeah. And-

Pantene, that's the one that they started showing. Apparently, why that took off is they showed the commercials with vitamins going in people's hair. Then it just went through. People thought they were getting vitamins in their hair. Yeah. It did look like that. Seinfeld episode. Oh, really? Kramer's, the girl Jerry was dating, and then Kramer fell in love with her. He's like, I smell Pantene. Yeah.

Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So I don't understand Procter & Gamble. They own all these companies? Yeah. Why do they need Procter & Gamble? They don't. That's why Nate really didn't know what it was. They kind of stepped... That name is sort of stepped back. They're more about their brands. But yeah, they own all those brands. Yeah. They're the creator of all those brands. Unilever is the other big one, right? Unilever is a competitor. Okay. Unilever is a Dutch company. So is Procter & Gamble a... Was it a...

two people or something? Started in the soap and candle business. Yeah. Back in the 1800s. So it was just two guys make soap and candles. Yeah. And then slowly just went into like, and their company gets so big that they're like, let's try food.

Yeah. And they're just like crushing it. Yeah. Now some of them like Pringles, I believe they created. Yeah. But then like a GIF, I believe they created. Then a couple of brands they bought. Yeah. You know, they buy and sell brands too. Yeah. Like Gillette up there, they bought that brand.

that brand. Yeah. They didn't create it. That's very interesting. I had no idea what the proper name was. I mean, they got it. It's one of the most probably powerful... Giant company. Yeah, yeah. They run everything. They can just stop and... Yeah. Pepsi's another one like that, right? Pepsi owns Frito-Lay. Frito-Lay, yeah. And I'm a Pepsi guy. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I'm a Pepsi. You would think I'm a Coke guy. I think I would...

I appreciate the Coke people more. Yeah, culturally you're a Coke guy. Culturally I'm a Coke guy in my heart. Because you're a southerner. Greatest average American. Greatest average American. But I can definitely see Frito-Lay and Pepsi.

peps to getting together. Cause you're like, you know, it's a lot. I think when you go out with them, you're like, it's a lot. Well, when you, uh, you know, when, when we found out that they, they were trying to go after Pringles with that stacks business, which by the way, it's still out there. It hadn't, yeah. Never caught on. Yeah. Uh, but, uh, what we did is, is, uh, and I went down there with my friend, Tim Snyder and this guy will from the brand. We all went out to Cedar Rapids, uh, which was where the test market is. And we went, uh,

to the Coke guys, the Coke distributor, like, hey, man,

These guys are trying to, you know, mess with us. What can we do to get together and scare them a little bit? And we started running all these promotions, uh, just to send a message. Like we're not going to go down easy on this. We ran like all crazy promotions. And those, one of those guys, Roger, who ran the Coke, uh, distributor shit over there. He's still, he's still like my, my, but he comes to shows. Oh, wow. Roger still comes to show. And y'all, y'all put a little warning shot. We did. And we weren't supposed to, uh,

you're not supposed to mess with test markets. It's sort of an, uh, sort of like an agreement, but this guy, Fernando, who was in charge of the brand was like, I don't care what it, because the, the test market people, we pay them a ton of money to run test markets. He's like, what are they going to do? Not take our money, do whatever you want down there. And we, we sent a message, man. I mean, it test markets. So you're running commercials that only they see and food that they only, they, yeah. Yeah. Like it's at the grocery stores. Like you're, you act like it's,

Everywhere in the world. Yeah. But a test market. So people could move specifically and they're like, oh, I'm in a test market. Yeah. I mean, it was, I mean, Peoria was the. Would you move there for, I mean. You hear that they're rolling out some new flavors of Pringles and you move the family there.

No, I'm just saying. No, you've got a problem. But if you know, like if Cedar Rapids Island was a big test market, I mean, I think you'd have some fun. Yeah, you would. And I can't remember. You'd be trying everything. I don't know what the IRI – it's IRI as the company. I don't know what their test markets are. There's one up in – back in the day, there was one up in New England. I can't remember where they were. I think CR was one of them, and that was –

Yeah, man. I mean, we, I remember we, we rented the world's largest barbecue pit and we just went to a grocery store and handed out free barbecue sandwiches with every Coke. If you bought Coke and bring us together, just said, I mean, you got to measure if you live in Cedar Rapids, I like, uh, you would think you got to, you're, you're part of the culture.

Yeah. Your city takes what everybody else is going to do. Pittsfield, Mass. I did a show there once. Pittsfield, Mass is a giant IRI test market. I remember that for some reason. Is it like one grocery store? Is it all? No, it's all the stores. It's everything. All the convenience stores, everything. So if you want-

So if you live in Pittsfield or if you're driving through Pittsfield, it's like go stop at the grocery store. You're going to see some stuff. Oh, yeah, man. You'll see some stuff. Yeah, you'll see stuff. You'll see Tarangos and nobody else will ever see them. Yeah. Pittsfield, Massachusetts, where I did my show, lost 500 bucks. Oh, really? I talked about it. I'll tell you about it later, but I've told it. So you said you could get back in the Jif game today. I think so. There's nine different kinds of Jif peanut butter.

Yeah, man, they got some garbage going now. I was going to say, I can tell you, you know, I can tell you that the creamy is the big one and the creamy outsells crunchy four or five to one. Does it really? Wow. I like crunchy too. Yeah. They cost the same. They do. They do. Really? They do. I would think. I mean, I've talked about this a little bit in my act. I've discussed. I never felt good about that because if you think about it, the crunchy,

We didn't finish making that. Yeah. You know, like there's less labor that goes into it. It should be cheaper. It should be cheaper. It should be cheaper. Crunchy, you know, of course you got crunchy. Simply Jif, which I talked about. I think that's only in creamy these days. Yeah. Reduce fat Jif. You're nailing it. That's four. Reduce fat Jif. Now, these were the products that I dealt with. Okay. Now, today-

The way you say it. The kids today. I love the way you say it. These are the products I dealt with. Okay. Now, today, they have a honey-roasted Jif, I think, at this point. They have a – You know what they're doing. You keep up with it. I'm not going to say I don't walk by the aisle. The grocery store is my life for 10 years. I'm not going to just walk by that. I respect that. Yeah. You're aware of what's going on. Yeah. Do you wish you lived in a test market?

I think it would be pretty fun. Yeah. I think you... Because you would know. You would see some stuff that you'd never seen before. Yeah. I still remember, man. There's this one comic, J.P. Madison. He's one of those guys. He was so funny. Naturally funny in Cincinnati when I was working at Procter & Gamble. And J.P., man, the guy just at the time did not have a nickel. Just had no money. No money. But he's one of those guys that like...

He had so much confidence. And he's one of those guys that you're like, I think he may be famous, man. You know? Yeah. Like, he always had it figured out. But I remember I had this product called Pop'ems. It was like a corn snack. And it was like the little Mr. Pringle man in the shape of like, it was kind of going at Fritos, okay? And, yeah.

I don't know if I see him on there. No, they didn't make it out of test market. But I had a bunch of them. I was like, JP doesn't have a lot of money. He's just always struggling. So I go, Hey man, we were driving to a gig or something. I gave him some music.

greg these things ain't gonna sell i was like truly the guy like the guy had no money i was you know i was loaning money these things ain't gonna sell greg he know yeah he knew man he knew yeah awesome yeah well uh nate said that you could leave ketchup out you don't have to put in the refrigerator i don't put ketchup in the refrigerator yeah i don't really eat ketchup um

He's right. The ketchup, you can leave it out for up to a month. You can leave mustard out for up to two months. Really? We leave ketchup way longer than a month. Yeah. We leave it out the whole time. I mean, I'm a mustard fan. Yeah. Yeah. You got to bring out these props. Oh, look at that. My wife ordered this for me just for this. So do you guys know the best way to pour ketchup? I do.

Upside down, preferably? No, right on the 57. You do that? Tap the 57. All right, what do you think? I know. The best way to pour ketchup? Yeah. You just bong, go for it. No, you hit the 57. No, you hit... I'll show you. You hit these 57s. Those? You hit the numbers. So you go like this, and you hit that number. You don't tap that. That's a label. Greg, you don't...

Is that right? He's right. Why are you pouring ketchup so delicately? No, it makes it come out. It comes out faster. Is this a problem in y'all's lives? No, because we're not gorillas. You're going to shatter the bottle. Shatter the bottle? Let me tell you something. You do it like this. If you hit a ketchup bottle from the bottom, it's going up and down. And if it shoots out the wrong time, your white tuck's ruined. What?

Yeah. So if anybody has a glass bottle, if you ever go to a diner- Man, I didn't know that. You hit it with your- That's perfect. Your hand right on the 57s and it just comes right up. Do you know there was never 57 varieties? Yeah, I do know that now. The guy basically, he was at a shoe store in New York and it said 21 varieties of shoes and he thought that sounded cool. So he said, we're going to have 57 varieties. Whoa.

Of ketchup. Yeah, and they're never worse. I mean, has there ever been like eight? It says 57 varieties on there. Has there ever been even a lot of varieties? I don't think so. You know, Joe DiMaggio, when he hit 56 games in a row hitting street, Heinz57 said, if you get to 57, we'll give you a ton of money and we'll do this big...

ad campaign around 57. He jinxed him, man. He ended at 56. That's probably, he might have done it on purpose. How many did Ripken, or no, that was? He did Game Started. Okay. Hines, 2,131. Did Pete Rose break DiMaggio's record? No, nobody's. He has the most in the National League, like 44. Okay.

There was a TikTok video, a couple of TikTok videos showing the proper way to dip fries in ketchup packets. Do you know this? No. Do you have that? Maybe. Let me see the packet. I think I know. Oh, I don't know. See if intuition kicks in. If you just tear it here and then you just do that, then I'm wrong. Then I don't know.

So we're looking at, like, if you're just listening, we're looking at, I mean, obviously, packets of ketchup. There's this guy driving a car, and he's like, I don't even know what's happening anymore. I always act like we're talking about real complicated things. And the audience is like, yeah, dude, I can ballpark it. Like, there's not a globe in there. Contextually. Yeah. Looks like it may not be loading, so...

Is it up? Yeah, it just took a second. Oh. You've got our French fry hack right here. Yeah. All right.

Just what do you do? That guy's out of Cleveland. Yeah. Tear it down the side. Tear it down the side and then it opens up as a little pouch. Yeah. I'm not sure I'm going to trust anybody whose fingernails are painted like watermelons. You ever put mustard on watermelon?

Mustard on watermelon. Really? Yeah. Those are two things that I really enjoy. Yeah, but not together. Is it bad? This was a trend on TikTok to put mustard on watermelon. Everybody says it's amazing. Yeah. Really? Something about it. I give it a whirl. That's because kids are bored. Yeah. I mean, and they're just like, yeah, try it. It's unbelievable. And there's a conversation piece, and you're like, this one year of college ruined. Fuck you, Nick.

I'd never heard. That's amazing what happens. And now they're sophomores. What was freshman you got? We did the watermelon thing. I did a watermelon thing, did dance. I got on my moving car, did dance. And then I ate watermelon mussel. And then I was a sophomore. And then we did a bunch of stuff when I was a sophomore. Then I figured out AI could write my paper. And I was just home. I just did a bunch of stuff on after that.

I never heard. Apparently, this is a thing that frosty, dipping frosty. I mean, Wendy's fries and frosty. I've heard of that. I do that. You do? Yeah. It's great. Everyone just discovers organically. You got the fry. You get the frosty. You're like, let's mix it up. I think I heard rumblings. Oh, really? I think I heard about it. I was maybe on the wrong side of the tracks. Hanging out with the wrong crowd. Yeah. I don't want my parents to find out I knew about it. I was like, I heard about it in church.

You know, that's what I said. That's the thing, man. Well, I guess it's okay. Yeah. About a church. So Greg, we're big Vandy fans. Is it true? The Vanderbilt Commodore invented the potato chip? Ooh, no. Oh yeah. Here's what happened. The, uh, um,

It's not true, but the story goes that in Saratoga, there was this restaurant. It was something house or something like that. And apparently the Commodore, Mr. Vanderbilt, was there. And he ordered French fries and they brought out steak fries. He said, I'll make them thinner. And they sent it back to this guy. And he's like, all right. And he cut them in half. And he went out there and he goes, make them thinner.

And then he's like, nope. And that time when he sent him back, the guy got mad and he fried those. He took the thinnest shaving of potato he could, deep fried it in oil and over salted it, send it back to the Commodore. And he was like, yeah, this is good. He did it to make him mad. Like he did it to be like, I'll show you. And the Commodore was like, yeah, these are good. Now here's the thing. The Commodore was in Europe during that summer that this all happened. It wasn't the Commodore. Yeah.

And there's like three different people. It did happen up at that house. How did you know? Did they let your office know he was out of the office? Did you call? Did you call the office? Greg, did you call the office? And he goes, I'm in Europe. And that's why you know for a fact that he was in Europe during this time. I honestly think I'm the same age as Commodore. I'll be honest with you. I think he's a little younger. I'm going to be honest with you. Greg, I'm going to come up front with you. Please stay every week.

I mean, this is just not... It's not even fathomable. This is what I get every week. I'm not as old as Gloria Vanderbilt, who was his great-great-granddaughter or something like that. I may not be the same age as Anderson Cooper, who was Gloria Vanderbilt's son. So we don't know where the fridge for art... It came from that area, but there's probably... It's Moon's Roadhouse or something like that. But there's...

It probably came from that restaurant and it may have been that cook's sister. And then there's another cook across town. It came from that generally. Now the guy that they said that did that to the Commodore, he probably did it to somebody, just not the Commodore. And that guy kind of took chips to another level because he opened his own place and he had chips as appetizers on every, when you walked in, there's a basket of chips on every. Wow. And so that guy became rich.

Yeah, he did pretty well for himself. Although he was like the first celebrity chef apparently in the US. And it's kind of like a little hazy because if you look like in his eulogy, they barely mentioned potato chips. And there's like later the story became he was the potato chip king. They were called Saratoga chips because it was in Saratoga Springs, New York where this something happened up there. Now there was...

Some British guy that in a cookbook, you know, 100 years before that listed something that looked a whole lot like potato chips. Yeah. That's it. You just posted a video about Dippin' Dots. Yeah. They were invented in 1988. The reason they haven't taken off is because you have to freeze them so cold. They have to be 40 degrees below zero and grocery stores just don't have ice cream. Dry ice. You have to have dry ice for it. What?

Well, you got to be 40 degrees below zero, whatever that takes. Only sporting events and concerts that I remember them ever being available. But they should do it. Dippin' Dots should do it. I love Dippin' Dots so much. That's a great product. Great product. And I thought, I mean, Dippin' Dots is my product that I thought when I first saw them, I go, well, move over, ice cream. You look ridiculous now. Because this is the future of ice cream, which they said, and I bought.

Sink, line, and hooker. He said it for like 30 years. I was in, though. You would have bought stocks in them? Oh, if I even knew what stocks, I still don't know what they are, but I would do it. And I loved them so much. And I still do. I think they're so great. When I see them, they're at Bucky's. Every time I see them, I grab them. Oh, man, we drove by at Bucky's yesterday. Yeah. Biggest thing I've ever seen. You got to go, man. And so every time I see Dippin' Dots, I always...

buy some uh i think they commented on my instagram maybe or something but i'm a i'm a giant dipping dots yeah it's a good product and it's i think they could be it's when they get frozen like together you really need them in the tub to be kind of mixed up a little bit and then when they get put in it's better like i feel like when they're in a small thing like they're the best out of the tub that they come in and so it's really a product that's made to be sold at

at sporting events. But I think they should step that up a notch and they should really be like, well, y'all need to really be everywhere. And you need to, I think Dippin' Dots should have me go in and go, you don't want me, ice cream gets melty, it gets stuck, like it's falling all over the place. This is not what we do at Dippin' Dots. And I think I would be a good sports person. I'd like to be part of that with you. Because I mean, with Pringles, man, we were saying, hey,

You know, you get your hand in that bag, you're going to get greasy. Yeah. And portability is why the can is the big deal. You can take it anywhere. Anywhere. Same thing here. I don't like a soupy ice cream. Yeah. It makes me sick. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Well, we should do that. Yeah, I'd like to be part of that. With Dippin' Dots, if you need me and Greg, I mean, one guy. You've got the connections. Super expensive. Yeah. I'm not saying I can't. He was there the day the fry got invented. I can't, man. I just can't.

I just think you're a little off on some of my age. I don't know how much, though. But it's – I think me and you would be a great team for Dippin' Dots. Yeah, I'd like to be part of it. We know how to get stuff working. Yeah, I'm not saying I have the –

I have probably a lot of the guys that I was calling on are out of the business, but I do have, I know. Like Morty Seinfeld? Selling raincoats? Yeah, selling raincoats. We're still selling. All right. We got to go. This is a quick one. Thank you, everybody. We'll be in Woodstock, Georgia, May 26th. May 26th. Chattanooga, Austin, Cleveland, Indianapolis. Wow.

come see me yeah go look at Aaron Webber's website see the AI biography yeah I'll change it up what's that Flaherty's in June man that's a cool place yeah that is a great place big club that's an awesome club and check out Greg Warren yeah his website's got all the dates again super funny yeah great to have you yeah thanks this is a ball man yeah alright we love you thank you very much everybody see ya

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.