Game, Set, MATCH for Kelly
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Tonight on ABC, get ready to move that bus. The beloved series Extreme Makeover Home Edition is making a triumphant return to kick off the new year. Join the Makeover mavens Joanna Teplin and Clea Shearer as they hit the road on a mission to transform the lives of deserving families. They have just four days to rally communities, demolish old homes, and rebuild not just houses, but lives. Extreme Makeover Home Edition premieres tonight at 8, 7 central on ABC and will be available to stream next day on Hulu.

Welcome back to I Do Part Two. It's Kelly Bensimon, one of your celebrity mentors here on the pod. I am having so much fun with this show and I've been really open about putting myself back out there into the dating scene and just being really open to meeting people and having a good time. So today we're going to talk about setups, not only in the romantic, but also in the platonic and

So we're meeting Cheryl Burke, who I love so much. And also my producers, Amy Sugarman and Heather Mundy, also have set me up and are going to set me up with a platonic relationship, a new friend, and a romantic one. So I have a lot of fun intel. So what we want people to know is...

this is real, right? It's not, it's not like we didn't cast this person. It's not a celebrity. This is an actual real setup that we hope on the romantic one that you'll really possibly like this guy. So,

It's totally real, but we do have his permission to give all the details. So we want to take everyone on this journey with you. Yes. This has been very exciting and very fun. So Amy Sugarman introduced me to a really nice guy. He's a lawyer. What do we call him? Do we call him Tennis Man? Do we call him? Yeah, because he's a real guy. Because this is a real guy. Mr. Tennis.

Not a famous person, not a person on a dating show, not a person who wants to be on the reality show. It's a real guy, so we just got to give him a nickname. So what are we calling him? The Tennis Man? No, we're going to call him Mr. Tennis. Oh, Mr. Tennis. Oh, Mr. Tennis. Okay, that's really good. Like Mr. Big, Mr. Tennis. Yeah. So I've known Mr. Tennis since seventh grade, and I'm 50, so...

So that's a lot of years. I know his family. His sister's one of my oldest friends. I know his parents. So I can definitely vouch for this guy. And basically,

basically he was in a relationship. He's out of that relationship. And I said, Hey, I want to set you up with my friend Kelly. He did know who you were. Like he's never really watched, but he knew your name and I think he knew what you looked like. Okay. And so basically we started a text group with the four of us. He probably was like, why are there two supervisors in here? But so we want everyone listening. Like we're going to tell you the real story.

Real stuff. So Heather, read. So basically I started the text and said, Amy played matchmaker. Kelly meet Mr. Tennis and then read what Kelly's first text was. Kelly said, Aloha.

I don't live in Hawaii, but I think Aloha really sums me up. Sunny and happy about everything. Have an amazing holiday season. Now, did Jana not tell you not to write Aloha anymore? She did.

Okay, so that's fine. Jana Kramer did tell me her advice was do not write Aloha, but it's just like my thing. That's fine. You be you. And I also like the fact that it's like very me because it is very sunny. But it's also like no one says Aloha. It's fine. It's fine.

It's totally fine. We're not going to judge it. We're just going to do it. So then he responded quickly and Heather and I were still in the text at this point. And then Heather, what did he say next? He said, Hey Amy, you're amazing and always looking out for me. I'm very appreciative of that. Kelly, I'm glad we have connected. Amy says nothing but great things about you. Your energy is fun and cool, positive and smart with an amazing smile.

I live in LA and I'm from San Francisco Bay area. My work office is headquartered in New York. Have a great holiday season. Would love to connect over the phone and or in person at some point soon. Okay. So, all right, let's analyze this. He's got some game, right? Like I think he's got game cause he's super nice, but he also is like dropping the carrot or whatever the saying would be. He's dangling the carrot. He's saying, okay,

Let's connect on the phone. So he's figuring out a way to get me and Heather out of there. And then he's saying some nice compliments, acknowledging he knows who you are and he's seen you. And then also he's kind of moving it along, right? Like he's saying, let's maybe see each other in person. And he's also saying that your area is already on his radar. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

not a problem for you to be on the East Coast. Like that works for him is what he's saying. And he's throwing in a really nice compliment saying that you have a beautiful smile. So he's showing attraction as well in this message. So Kelly, how did you feel when you first got the text? And have you seen his picture? Have I sent you a picture of him? He sent me, yes. A thirst trap was very attractive. Yes. Oh, good. Okay. He sent you a thirst trap?

Yeah. He said, Amy said this was a thirst trap. Wait, which picture did he send you? Is he with the kids at the gym? Like where is he? He sent me one with his kids, but he sent me one where he's in like a blue t-shirt and he's kind of like looking up. And then he sent another one where he's obviously playing tennis cause he didn't green. And he's like looking down. He's a really good tennis player. Yeah, definitely athletic, which I love. And he's also, um,

He's just, you know, I like, I really like smart. Yeah, he's really smart. So how, we went to college together also. So we went to Berkeley. So I will out that he went, he's smart. So how did you feel based on his first text before you saw the picture, just from the text, were you feeling like,

I don't know, just judge the text. Reading his text was like so nice and it was really sweet for him to be complimentary, but not like mushy. He just was like, you're funny. You know, you have a nice personality and, you know, he can tell immediately. I think that's when the aloha is nice because like people are like, oh my God, she's like playful. And I'm not taking myself too seriously. And he was also very proactive about,

making a plan. And he's been like, okay, what am I talking to you on the phone? I'm like, whoa, okay. Oh my God. Yeah. So he's like, okay. So behind the scenes, he did call me because he sort of said, should I go to New York? Because he does, he doesn't have his kids right now. So he was like, oh, should I do that? And I did encourage him. I'm like, Hey, like,

Carpe diem, do this. And you would have been excited, right? If he jumped on a plane. He was supposed to come tonight because he has his kids tomorrow. And he was, I thought that was also really amazing that he was just going to hop on a plane, come and see me for dinner and then leave the next day, see his kids. Like that's like real. That's like legit. That's not like, let me talk to you after the new year. Hope you're having a nice time.

Yeah, he's definitely not like half-assing this. He's like, I want to go out with you, which I think is great. And he's also like a real human. Like he's a dad. He's educated. He has a great job. Like he's a real human. He's not, you know,

So what has happened since he, okay. So he basically started texting you without Heather and I being able to see, so we can't see it anymore. So what have you guys talked on the phone or just text or what? Not yet, but he said, hi Kelly, hope you're having a great Christmas and safe travels to Vermont. I said, Aloha is working today. Hopefully leaving, leaving tomorrow for Vermont. How's your, and then I said, how's your day? He said, Aloha. He loves it.

He goes, Aloha, working the day after Christmas. Very impressive. I should too, but I started running errands and haven't stopped. Going to play tennis around 4.30. That's very cool. Vermont looks so peaceful. I'm watching this show on Peacock called Based on a True Story, which is so ridiculous, but I now kind of like it. I needed a break from the drama thrillers. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, because I want to follow this. So he's watching it or you're watching it? He's watching it.

Oh, so he's really engaging. Okay, good. Keep going. That's a good show, by the way. I'm going to watch it. He's telling me what he's doing, which is like...

It's not like, hey, he's like, this is my day, Kelly. I'm playing. Mr. Tennis is like playing tennis and he's watching, you know, Peacock. He's also a meaty texter. Like these are like little paragraphs. It's really putting some thought behind it. You're not getting the one word answer. You're not getting like multiple bubbles. You're getting like nice little meaty responses, which I think is a good sign. Okay, let me ask. Okay, I'm going to finish reading that. And then I want to ask you about the...

bubbles and the meaty texting. So remind me of that. So he said, looks Pete Vaughn Vermont looks peaceful. He's he's watching Peacock that we should talk over the phone at some point, right? Oh, that's good. I like that. I know there are there are rules, blah, blah, blah. But what do you think?

What are the rules? What does he mean there are rules? I don't know. I don't know. Remember that book, The Rules? Remember that book? Oh, my God. Okay. And I said, I'd love that exclamation point. Tell me when. The house I'm staying at is an old inn. I'm excited to relax and ski. And then he said, so he goes...

Okay, he's like, back to the date. He's like, that's nice to hear about your Vermont vacation. But Kelly, he was like, this is his text. No time like the present, Kelly. I like that he uses my name.

But I know there is a time difference. So don't want to call you too late. I can try your room 930 or 10. Oh, so you're supposed to get a call tonight. Yes, I know. I'm getting a call in like three hours. Okay, I can. Yeah, I can. I can call you tonight your time or this weekend or on a chairlift or something. That was very clever and fun. So nice. Wow, I'm jealous. Relax. Wine chill. You deserve it. I mean, that's just a very also thoughtful, you know, way of

understanding like what I'm doing, but also saying like, we're doing this for meeting. That's a, that's a technique he's using by saying your name in the text. That is a flirting technique to show your interest and engaged when you continue to say somebody's name to them back and forth. That's, he's very interested. This is like really good green, green flag, green flag, you know? Yeah. I like that he's scheduling the time for the

call. That's good too. And I'm not coaching him up at all. He's doing this all on his own other than asking me if it was like too crazy for him to come visit you soon. And I said, no, it's not do it. That's so cute. So here's my question about the bubbles because, okay. So my youngest daughter said, you're only supposed to have

a little bit of blue and they're supposed to be more of the conversation. That's like the, that's one of like the things that were that, that you're supposed to do in texting. So, but I, so then I was like, well, okay, so I'll do like, I do like one bubble, two bubbles, three bubbles, and then I'll stop.

But he does a meaty text, like to Heather's point. So what do you, I mean, not that there's any rules. And again, I know I'm not following rules and doing whatever I want in a genuine way. But just to be mindful of like people's phone time, like,

what is normal protocol? I think you just said it. You do what you want. You're having good banter back and forth. You're in different time zones. I say, do what you want. It's not like you're blowing him up at three in the morning, you know, on his coast and 6am where you are, you know, you're being mindful. He's wanting to actually take it off of texting and go to phone call. So I think that's even better. This is what I prefer about a setup for,

versus like dating apps that I, I feel it's just terrible. These dating apps that people have to use, because I think that's when you start playing this weird game and you're all like, you don't know this person. It's like, you know, you, you know, me, I set you up. This guy knows you. He's a good guy. He has every intention of being a good guy going out with you. He knows, we know he thinks you're cute.

So I think it's easier. You just be you and he's going to be him. I think the apps make it really hard. Go with the flow because let's say tonight's call goes really well and you want to like talk again tomorrow. Then tomorrow.

Do another call tomorrow. Do what, right. And don't feel like, oh, I need to like be less available to like show him that I'm not. Don't, don't do any of that. Don't play that. That's a game. Your daughters are in their twenties and a lot of texting and flirting. You have to follow that kind of protocol when you're in your, I do part two, those things go out the window.

Yeah, I agree. I agree. Wait. Okay. So first of all, we're going to definitely have to talk to you on air tomorrow so we can find out how the call goes tonight. So just, you know, try to remember, take a little bit of notes because like I said, this is a real guy, but he has given us permission to give all the details. So we're not betraying that. No. And you know what else I really liked is that he said,

you know, we can talk tonight. We can, he wants to talk tonight, but he also said like, we can also talk on the chairlift. We can talk on the weekend. Basically. He's just like, we can talk anytime. Like some guys are like, you want me to, you want to talk to me on the chairlift? Why don't you talk to me when you can like really talk to me? And so he wants to like be a part of my life too. Um,

And he wants, he's trying to share what he's doing with his life, which I think is really, really, really sweet. Yeah, it feels very loose. He's not hiding behind a keyboard. He's like, let's get on the phone. Like, let's talk and engage and like exchange energy. You know what I mean? Like, that's what he seems to be all about. And that is unfortunately a lost thing.

sense of communication as generations go on, more and more people don't want to just talk on the phone. And I think it's really admirable that that's what he's pushing for. And he's like, let's stop all this texting. Like, let's get on the phone and, like, check vibes. Yeah, I think that's a great, great thing, too, for people looking for their I do part two. It's like, we're all old, so...

Go back to the way it was. Like we are of the generation that did not even have texting when we were, you know, in college or even shortly after. So it's like, get on the phone. So Kelly, Cheryl Burke is here. I want you to bring her up to speed. See if she's got any thoughts. And let's also see if we can encourage Cheryl to maybe try a setup. Good luck to you guys.

Tonight on ABC, get ready to move that bus. The beloved series Extreme Makeover Home Edition is making a triumphant return to kick off the new year. Join the Makeover mavens Joanna Teplin and Clea Shearer as they hit the road on a mission to transform the lives of deserving families whose stories will truly touch your heart.

With the help of the design team, Ariane Belisere and Wendell Holland, they have just four days, a race against time to rally communities, demolish old homes and rebuild not just houses,

but lives get ready for those heartfelt moments filled with tears of joy as Joanna and Clea dive deep into the emotional journeys of these families, uncovering their struggles and beginning the healing process. It's not just about remodeling homes. It's about rebuilding hope one family at a time. So don't miss out on this incredible journey. Extreme makeover home edition premieres tonight at eight, seven central on ABC and will be available to stream next day on Hulu. You won't want to miss it.

All right. So I'm bringing in my new bestie, Cheryl Burke. So Cheryl, I have to tell you that Amy and Heather introduced me to a really nice guy. And? I'm calling it Mr. Tennis. We've been texting back and forth.

We're going to be talking on the phone tonight. I may or may not have sent him a photo or a video of me walking my dog Tarzan. Yes, I did that yesterday. Okay. He's super cute. Very smart. Super, very smart, which is like really good for me. Has kids and he lives in LA, but he also works in New York. So he's like a good guy, like a guy that I could actually really like. Did he send you pictures? Yes.

Okay, and? He's very good looking. I also know that Amy and Heather may or may not have introduced him to you. Wait, I was going to break the news. I was going to break the interesting news as soon as I heard your perspective. But yes, Amy, the executive producer, she definitely set me up. He was my first and last date since my divorce. Oh my God. I love that. Yeah.

So how was it? It was good. It was good for me to go out on a date. I wasn't necessarily like, okay, I...

tried not to like, I don't try. I mean, it's hard not to judge a book by its cover because we're all human. Right. But we went to a restaurant in Los Angeles and, you know, he was a gentleman and, um, but there was just no, there was just no chemistry for me, for me. Right. For you. Yeah. He was cute. He was a cute, smart guy who seems to be, he's got a good head on his shoulders from what I

was able to kind of like suss out a little bit, you know? Okay, well, that's really good that you know him. Now I have to ask you a question. What do you think of... Because I don't want to live in a vacuum and I trust you. So what do you think of...

your friends to guys that you went out with and that you are setting them up with. What do you think about that? Like in our situation? Yeah. Do you think it's a good idea to like you dated, he went on a date with them and now I'm going to go on a date with them? Totally. I do too. I actually did that with a friend of mine. I introduced her to a guy that I went on a date with and I was like, he's nice, but he's not my kind of, he's not my cup of tea. And then I introduced her

him to her and weird stuff happened but had nothing to do with me. I did not know anything. Yeah. I think if it was if it were opposite like if I really liked him let's say and he ghosted me and then you were dating him that'd be odd. Right.

Right. Well, I would say no, because I also am a friend and I would be like, if he's ghosting you, why would I want to go out with him? And furthermore, why would I? I mean, we're new friends, but I really trust you. So why would I like jeopardize our friendship? No, for sure. I mean, like and he wouldn't be for you. Right. Because like we're talking about like evolving and wanting to, you know, step it up when it comes to men. Right. And a ghost ghost, like a cheater's cheat. Ghost ghost. It's like they think it's kind of some kind of ghosted him.

Are you a ghoster? No, no, I'm not. I mean, first of all, every, you know, my number, it hasn't changed. It's been, it's been my number forever. Like for as long as I had a number. So did he, wait, did he respond? He was wanting to like go out again for sure. Okay. And then did you say, you just said no.

I just, you know, I didn't necessarily give that vibe. Like when I, I'm pretty like you, I'm at the strong vibe. So like, if I don't want anything but like a full on platonic relationship, like just friends, or if I'm just not feeling you, but then I feel like he's feeling me. I make it quite obvious. I think through my body language. Yes. Well, you're a dancer and you're like, don't like, we're not going to that next level. Right. She's like, lean back. Yeah.

I keep it very professional. Side to side movements.

By the way, at one point you teach me how to dance, but that's another totally other conversation. Okay. Totally other podcast. How to make, how to teach Kelly how to dance. So should you do a phone call, a FaceTime? Oh, you should FaceTime for sure. I wish I would have done that. Did you do a phone call or? No, we went straight to the dinner. Oh, you went from text to dinner. Yeah. Because, you know, Amy, I also trust Amy. And like, by the way. So do I.

Okay, like is he – I have really nothing bad to say about him other than he couldn't order his dinner right away. He was a little indecisive. And that just was a trigger for me for some reason. And that wasn't just the only thing, right? Wait, wait, wait. No, seriously. So he couldn't decide what food he wanted or he was just like really excited about the menu? It took a while. It took a while. Was he like, I don't want the chicken because it has cheese on it? No, he actually ended up ordering what I ordered. He probably was nervous because you're so pretty. Maybe.

You're pretty. Hello. I was nervous. I think I was there. Like I used to live down the street from Pache. I think I left my house like 30 minutes before when I could just roll down my hill. But I don't like a man that's indecisive. I just don't. And maybe he's not. And maybe whatever. But like there's it was more than just that. I mean, you can just feel it right when you sit with somebody for a couple of hours. Dinner is a commitment. And I wish I would have done FaceTime first. Yeah. So that's what I was wondering, too. Like, so.

Should you do coffee? Should you do a drink? I think you should FaceTime. Doesn't he live in LA? Yeah. And you live... He was going to come here tonight, but he couldn't come because he has kids tomorrow. He was just like, I'm going to have a plan. Just for the date? Yeah.

Yeah, he was just going to pop on a plane, which I thought was really attractive. Oh, really? Okay, so I was going to ask that. That was my next question. I also live in New York City where people are like, you're single? That's nice. It's like, how about like, yeah, let's go on a date or let's get drinks. In New York, people are just like so uninterested in anything.

So that is a turn on for you. If you were to drop everything. I mean, you know, and be like, hey, I can't wait to, you know, talk to you more versus like people that are just like too cool for school. And it's like, you know, you get zero read on people. Well, there's also a gray area in between what we just said. There's also that gray area. But wait, how long have you guys been talking? I just want to know. A day.

Whoa. Okay. So you don't say for me, if someone were to say that, though, it's great. And I can imagine like a movie scene, right? From like the notebook and like, but it's just not real. However, it does for me. But it's also Amy. Does it not give you signs of desperation? Well, no, because I think that it's hard to meet people.

It's hard to meet women. It's hard to meet men. And it's also like the holidays. So it's kind of a free time. Do you know what I mean? It's downtime. Like, okay, you know, I'm doing some stuff today. We're doing some work today. But like normally, you know, I mean, yesterday I was free. The day before that, I did an hour of work. But, you know, I'm kind of like just spending time with my kids and hanging around and, you know, just walking around the city and really doing nothing. Well, then...

F it. So I think that people are really like, I think the holiday season, especially this period, the 26th through the 1st of January is like peak, peak dating time. PDT. Okay. So wait, is he coming or not? He couldn't because he literally was going to come tonight and then he has to go back tomorrow. So you can't do that. No, no. He wanted to. And then he was like, I'd have to come back.

He was like, I would come tomorrow, but I'd have to come back on the next day. And the only reason that that would be something that would be super attractive to me is because he's known Amy since the fifth grade.

So if it were like a guy on Raya or if it was a guy that a friend of mine met that was like, oh, my God, I have to meet her. I'm coming. Be totally different. This is like a longtime friend. This is like me introducing you to a guy that I've known forever from like. I mean, that's the only reason why I got I left my house and went on a date was because of Amy. But see, that's even better. You know, he's.

He was like the reason that he got you out to do something that you weren't really in the mood to do. I love that. Is long distance okay for you? I mean, long distance isn't exactly what I'm looking for. So, you know, if this works out, we're going to have to figure out something. Who knows? Maybe I'll move or whatever. But I...

Just saying like I'm not like long distance is not my I mean, I was married to a man that was in New York twice a month like that. That does not work for me. I want. Do you even want to open the can of worms then if you know that this is not going to work for you? Well, I don't I don't have any reason to not date people wherever they live. I mean, I'm I can my kids are older and I can go and do whatever I want, wherever I want.

Okay. I'm asking you all the questions just so you are 100% sure. And one of my friends was like...

I think you should move to Paris, you know, because I speak French and I've lived in Paris for a long time. And she's like, I think you should move to Paris and like meet people in Paris. I'm like, by myself. OK, I don't think you need to move anywhere. Like you can just go to places for a few months, you know. Right. But everyone's like telling me to like move all over the place. I'm like, OK, I'm not sure how I feel about moving right now. I just moved twice in the past, like, you know.

So it's been a lot of moving. Right. So who do you trust more for setups? Is it coworkers? Is it friends? Family? Like Kelly? You know what's interesting? Like for me, I mean, I'm just trying to think back like my last few relationships. And that's been my own setup, I guess. It's been kind of like with my ex. It was because his older brother was on Dancing with the Stars. And we met through the show.

the show. Right. And I would say during that timeframe, when I was on the show for 17 years, like there, it was a lot of that type of interaction. Right. But as far as like, I guess I would trust, like though my sisters never set me up with anyone, which is fine. Like we've got a huge age gap, nine years, but like she, I trust her, you know, I would trust friends as well. But like, also I don't necessarily trust,

I think my friends in a way, my two, like my close, close friends, I don't think are good as far as setting me up because they have this vision in their head that what they believe this guy should be for me. And maybe that's not, and maybe it's 'cause it's like they're too protective. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - So it's like, I don't know. I don't wanna also play it safe when I date with somebody either. Like there's a fine line, right?

I don't know. So it's interesting because like when I was on Housewives, it's all women. So there's no like hot guys that you're dancing the samba with. It's like, you know, me, you know, like literally running away from women like spitting at me and, you know, trying to do all these awful things. And then in real estate, it's funny because everyone's like, like, you know, Dorinda, one of my co-stars, she was like, I met my husband, my rich husband, Richard. I sold him an apartment. And, you know, for me,

I have, there's been two guys who I've sold really, really nice apartments to and I represented them as well. And I just found it to be such a huge conflict of interest and I would never want. Pass them over. I'm just saying, I would never, I would, I will actually, I would never want, I would never want them to,

Nor would I want my industry to think that. I mean, they already do think that, but I would never want people to think that like, there I am like showing apartments and flirting and because I'm not like that. Like I'm super professional. What if they are aggressively flirting with you? Would you...

And I, this one guy said to him, and I was like, after I said, I really appreciate you. And I said, after we are finished with all the transaction and you're done and everything, if that's a time that we should, you want to, you know, talk about going out or going on a date, I'd be happy to do that. And you know what? He didn't.

Which was weird. I was like, wait a minute. So you want me to sell your home or you want me to help you buy a home, but then when it's like real time, you don't? It's almost a blessing in disguise. Yeah, I was like, no. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Tonight on ABC, get ready to move that bus. The beloved series Extreme Makeover Home Edition is making a triumphant return to kick off the new year. Join the Makeover mavens Joanna Teplin and Clea Shearer as they hit the road on a mission to transform the lives of deserving families whose stories will truly touch your heart.

With the help of the design team, Ariane Belisere and Wendell Holland, they have just four days, a race against time to rally communities, demolish old homes and rebuild not just houses,

but lives get ready for those heartfelt moments filled with tears of joy as Joanna and Clea dive deep into the emotional journeys of these families, uncovering their struggles and beginning the healing process. It's not just about remodeling homes. It's about rebuilding hope one family at a time. So don't miss out on this incredible journey. Extreme makeover home edition premieres tonight at eight, seven central on ABC and will be available to stream next day on Hulu. You won't want to miss it.

So are you talking to anybody else? So I'm talking to one other guy. I met this amazing guy in New York. He's a big, big, big, he's a big doctor here. Super, super nice. I actually met him playing polo. He's really sweet. He's a polo player. I bet you he's where I live in that area. There's a huge polo community. Yeah, I know. I told you I play polo. You have. I don't play polo. I am learning. I'm a big writer.

And so this summer, to get out of my comfort zone, I decided to learn polo.

I was like, let's do something totally, totally out of my comfort zone. Very difficult. Very, very difficult. It was so fun. It was really fun. Was your crotch sore afterwards? I just feel like it would be super sore. I mean, you're a dancer, so you're used to moving. But I'm like, the way that I ride is I ride like, I do not move my upper body. And then I just use my legs. But in polo, you're like all over the place. You're using your arms. But did you know how to ride before the polo? Yes. I'm a big rider. Yes, it is. Yeah.

Important information, yeah. So it was really fun and he's really sweet and really nice. And then I was dating this other guy who was younger, he's 43, very, very nice, very successful, very sweet. I met him through a friend of mine. And he was really great, except for he was just...

he was saying things and acting in a way that didn't make me feel like he was like, I want to get married. You're my, you're my person and not love bombing me in the way that like, I mean, he's known me for a long time and he's just like, I want to, I want a second chapter with someone and I want it to be with someone like you. And that made me, I know that sounds like a red flag. Did that give you the like creeps a little bit? No, no. Cause he's a really nice person and I've known him for a long time. And I was very, um,

I was very, I was really, I was really moved by that. I thought that was really, really sweet. So we were having these issues where he was super communicative, but I was trying to be as well, but we weren't communicating in the same way. He needed more communication and... That's different. Yeah.

So then I just, I kind of got mad at him because he was, didn't talk to me for like two days. And I just like, I don't have time for this. There's holes in this story. I came back from LA. I came back from LA and I was like, I can't, I was in New York. I was a Sunday morning. I was like, I woke up around like 11. Cause I just come back at like two o'clock in the morning. And he was like, oh, we're going to have lunch and do all this stuff. And he didn't call me all day long. And then he called me the next day and was like, oh yeah. Hey, I didn't hear from you yesterday. Okay.

I'm like, you knew I was flying back because I texted you I was flying back. And he just was kind of like doing his own thing. He was kind of like making me feel bad for going to LA and working. And then he was like, yeah, he's like,

Like we're just not communicating well. And I'm like, we aren't communicating at all. Like, and I'm not going to, I'm one thing I'm not going to do is I don't chase men. I just don't like, I'm not chasing them. I am not, you know, begging men to date me. Like if you want to hang out with me and have a great time, like I am all for it a hundred percent, but I'm not going to chase a man. Wait, how long did you guys date before this happened? Two months, two and a half months. But you knew each other. Yeah, he's really, it was, he's a very nice person.

So I just was like, you know what? Is too much communication a turnoff for you? No, not too much communication. But like, hey, if you're getting off a flight, like know that person is like getting off a flight. They haven't seen you. Oh my God, they're super excited to see you. Make plans. Like I wanted to take him to like look for a Christmas tree just to like do things that are fun. And, you know, he was like sleeping the whole day. So I just was like, and that's fine. But you could just say like, oh my God, you'd be like,

The night before, babe, I'm super tired. I think I might take tomorrow off and just, you know, chill out and relax. That's totally fine. What are your non-negotiables? Not communicating. Well, like not? Like ghosting? Like, yeah, when a guy, like, doesn't talk to you for a day or you text him, you're like, hey, and they don't text you back. Like, that doesn't work for me. Yeah.

When guys don't make plans like they're not like let's do something. Hey, what are you doing on a Tuesday? Like it's not to be every day, but like you should have like one or two date nights a week when you're dating people then You know no drug abuse No, you know jail time like you know, no current not currently in jail like you wouldn't date him and end his brother or anything I Would they're hot. No, I'm kidding

I know how to pick them. You may not want my advice. Just things that are just... Just things that are out of the ordinary. And my ex, I want someone that has a really good job, really good parent, just overall, just good person. You don't have to be a gazillionaire, but just an honest, real person. Yeah. And I don't want anyone that talks badly about their ex-wives. Like,

because that means they're going to talk badly about me or exes in general especially when you're first dating like don't bring up the exes thank you just leave the exes alone leave the exes where they are and i don't need to be part of the ex's narrative like i don't i'm not like just because you're dating me doesn't mean that we have to make collective decisions on everybody else like you're not going to tell mr tennis that i dated that we went on a date right yeah

You are? Or you didn't? Yeah, because you're gorgeous and it makes me look good. Wait, you are? Yeah, of course. Or have you? No, no, I'm going to. Tonight on the phone. Oh my God, why? That's weird. I'm going to be like, it's my friend Cheryl. You think that's going to be a turnoff for him? No, I think he's going to love it. I think his ego is going to be like, oh my God. How about physical features? Before, quickly, before we move on to platonic relationships. Physical features. You know, it's nice to have, I mean, I really don't have a type. Do you have a type? Yeah.

Uh, tall, dark and handsome. You're like, okay. So I married a not tall and not as dark, but handsome. Yeah, my ex-husband had great curly hair, wear little glasses. Does he have to be taller than you? No. He doesn't. You don't care. Okay. No. I mean, I dated one guy that was 6'2", dated another guy that was 6'1". I'm 5'10".

I dated my ex-husband was five, nine. You know, I don't really I don't really care about the height. I just care about the person. That's nice. I mean, it would help, though, right? Like if he was hot. I mean, not necessarily because like, I mean, I dated some really hot guys that were really not good guys. I've dated some hot guys like I dated this one guy. His name is Alejandro and he was probably the nicest human I've ever met in my entire life. Yeah.

No. No. He actually took photos of me that were so beautiful. I had to put them on my Instagram. They were so beautiful. Argentine tango dancer? No. What if you taught me how to dance and then you introduced me to this really hot dancing coach and then I was like... Definitely not. You're not dating a dancer. A lot of people date dancers. J-Lo, Madonna. Look at her now. Look at them now.

The answers are no good. Whitney. See, this is the thing with dancers. You have to be super secure with yourself because this is what they do for a living is dry hump other people. So like, Oh wow. Oh wow. People like JLo, right? Like that's what they do. So like you can't be on their jock. You got to like completely surrender and hope and pray that you don't cheat on you. No, no. I could never watch another man dance with a woman like provocatively. I would literally have a mouth to sleep with maybe once.

Or twice, maybe. But that's about it. You definitely need to have sex with a dancer once. At least once in your lifetime. Have you had one? No. Are they going to, like, throw my legs around?

I mean, it's different strokes for different folks. Don't know. Right. Different dancers like different things, but like they're great in bed. Wow. If they're a good dancer, if they're, if they're an actual, like if their occupation is dancer, they're most likely a great lover. I love how like Cheryl is like super composed and I am like, my dress is red and my face is like orange. Maybe before you go out with Mr. Tennis, you should try and just have sex with a dancer really quick, just in case you guys get married.

Okay, let's talk about platonic relationships and setups.

Do you think that... Everyone has to know. Hold on. Before you ask me this question, everybody has to know. This is like, this is real. This is like you and I, our friendship has evolved from this podcast. My second chance is it has like renewed like a new friendship. Oh, 100%. And now I have a whole fun friend who I can like talk honestly with. And I love that. We've never been in the same room together. I know. We're going to. We're going to. We're going to. Yeah. We will. No. And I feel super comfortable with you. So this is kind of... Oh, I guess this falls under the...

coworker category, I guess. Right. Yeah. But still. Yeah.

Cowork a friend. Yeah. Yeah. But what do you think about actual like, you know, as maybe another divorced woman or just like single women in general and friends like setting you up on platonic type of setups and relationships like that? So I have I have like two schools of thought about that. I met this really, really cool woman today. Her name is Louise. She's like super smart, sassy, fun, funny.

you know, amazing woman. And I trust her. I don't know her, but I get a really good vibe from her. I really like her energy. And I, I, I, I trust her. And then I've met a lot of single women who I just don't trust. I feel like they're using me for chum.

And that they're like, oh, just bring Kelly around because she'll talk to the guys or the guys will talk to her. And then we'll kind of just like take the guys from her. That's happened many times. Really? They just use me. They're like, oh, yeah, Kelly's our friend.

It happened to me, this one girl that we were friends and she basically was just using me to meet guys. Wait, what? So wait, wait, how are you? And so I don't know, because like we haven't hung out like that. So you are not shy, right? Like you will. But like they use you like it's one thing to like use somebody like to get into the clubs like what I have experienced. I'm not shy this way, but I'm shy like. Like vulnerable way.

Right. One-on-one, like getting to know me. Like I'm very shy like that, but I'm not shy with like opening myself up and I'm not, you know, I'm not shy that way. Oh, interesting. I'm the opposite. I'll be like draggy. I'll be like, where's the darkest corner and the most private area? That's where I want to be. I'm like bright lights. Oh, hell no. Coachella during the day. If you leave it up to me to make a reservation, I'm like corner, dark corner,

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You know, I'm just very skeptical about meeting other single women because... You don't trust them. I don't trust them. And I feel like they use me as chum. And they do. What's interesting, when I heard you just say you met someone just the other day and you trust, how do you trust somebody so quickly? Because I can tell. Like, for example, like when we were filming Ultimate Girls Trip in St. Barts after we finished filming, the women are like, oh, here, take Kelly to the bar so she can introduce us to people. Okay. Yeah.

Like, let me just take you to the bar and choose you people. I don't know them. Like, why am I...

So it's just, you know, it's just, it's always kind of like that. How important is it to have friendships that like solid ones that you've known for a few years that really know you and that keep you grounded during this whole like dating process? Well, I think it's super important to have solid friendships. And, you know, I have my like group chats, my friends, I'm like, hi guys, like, hello, when are we going to see each other? What's happening? And, you know, they're, most of them are married. So it's hard for me to like make time with them, which I totally understand. Yeah.

So I end up spending a lot of time with my gay friends, which is great too, and my kids, obviously. Is it hard to have married friends? Does it make you want to rush the process? Meaning feeling the need to be in a relationship, let's say? Well, you know what's so weird that's a good question is that when I started dating my ex-boyfriend, people were like, oh, you have a boyfriend? Yeah.

oh you oh you're engaged okay bring him you know bring him up we want to meet him we want to do all this stuff and all of a sudden he became like you know people i was invited to more things because we were together and he and he said the same thing like he was invited to a lot more things because we were together right like as couples like a couple's like as a couple yeah right yeah um and i feel like i mean i don't know if this is true or not this is just how i feel i feel like um

A lot of people just don't want me to be the extra one person at the table. Oh, yeah. I know that feeling. Because they're like, oh, it's Kelly's there. She's going to steal my husband. Or they feel sorry. They don't understand how, like, for some, like...

Look, I totally understand what you're saying. I hear you. It's like they feel more, they feel sorry. They're worried about me, but like they don't understand because they've never gone through it themselves as far as like being so comfortable being alone that it's almost like I don't need to worry about who I'm with or their mood or to get them to like come to a friend's dinner that's not their friend and then like having them be so like frustrated

not wanting to be there and me trying to like play both sides. It's just, there's a lot more peace for me when I go out actually, because I just worry about myself. But there is, I do definitely, like when I, we talked about this, this last episode about how I can count on one hand, my friends. And,

It just happens to be that most of them are divorced, but we were friends before. Like, we were friends when, you know, like, one of them was my maid of honor when she was also married for many years. And, you know, so I knew her when I was married, also met her when I was single and now single again. But, like, it is interesting because your friends change when you're single, especially as you get older. And it is, do you believe it's harder to meet people and meet other people

potential friends as you get older? I mean, I just found it strange that like my friends didn't really introduce, I mean, two of my friends introduced me to some really nice people, but most of my friends, I mean, I've lived in New York, raised my kids here, you know, been here since forever and they just didn't never introduce me to people. And I don't know if they just wanted me to be single. Why would they want you to be single? Like why would? I honestly, maybe you're thinking this is crazy, but I feel like they're like, oh, she's pretty.

So she should just be happy with, you know, she'll just get someone based on that. I don't need to help her. Meanwhile, on the opposite, if I meet someone, I'm like, oh my God, I met someone that's so great. Oh my God, I want to introduce you to them. Oh my God, I, you know, like I'm always, and I, I mean, I said this today, like I'm,

typically the one that's like always taking care of people and helping them and giving them like help or if like, oh my God, I found this job for you. It'd be great. Or I got this for you. You don't feel like that's reciprocated by your, not at all. No, no, no, not at all. Like Pete, like not at all. Listen, I have to say, and I've said this to you before, like my sobriety and, um, kind of just being a lot more present, I guess, and just awake in general and not, um,

numbing through substances has really this is why I can count on one hand my friends and even that like I have to reassess every year like you know and and naturally it's not like oh okay you didn't pass this test like asking you out like weeding you out but you know you are you are who you hang out with too you know and it's like you're such a good person and I

Can't wait for our friendship to develop more because I feel the same like I definitely don't feel like I it's shocking to me to hear people use you to me. Like I have never heard of such a thing in my life. Oh, my God. All the time. Or they so women use me to meet other men and then men say when they meet me, they're like me.

They'll be like, oh, like it's a game. And they'll be like, oh, you know, I just don't know if like I can handle like everything you do. I'm like, what? That I work in real estate and that I have a job and that I'm providing for my children. What am I supposed to do? Not provide for my children and whatever.

Yeah. Am I supposed to be... It seems to me that like when I'm... This is like when I'm kind of rounding up after like watching a lot of Christmas movies. If you're the victim...

Everyone wants to help you. But when you're the one that tries to be like, I can handle things, I can organize things, I can try to make things like, you know, something, nothing into something, then people are just like, oh, yeah, whatever. They'll just, you know, you're just the giving tree. But not all people, though. No, I know. I'm not. I'm just generalizing. But I feel like it's like, I feel like I'm the giving tree. And I'm like, oh, okay, here's a little stump now. Maybe stop giving so much. But.

you know, meeting you and talking with you and being on this podcast has changed, has changed me so much. Like I'm just, I'm more, I'm less forgiving and I'm more like kind to myself.

Do you ever go out, like, do you, okay, do you have different tiers of friendships? Like, I definitely do. So, like, I have my friends who I can, like, always count on that I know will drop everything that they're doing if I need them, even if I live a few hours away from them, right? Then I've got the second tier, which is, like, friends that maybe when I'm in LA will go out or whatever, but, like, they don't know everything about me. And then you've got the third tier, which is, like, residue from my last job.

Right. Like literally. And it's like we were friends because of work and we just happen to still stay in touch type thing. And when we see each other, hey, you know, like we'll say hi. We're like almost kind of weird acquaintances in a way. You know what I mean? Because you don't see each other. Yeah.

Yeah, because we don't make the effort. It's not because we don't see each other. It's because like there's no effort being made. Right. Meaning like it doesn't matter. Like we could you just need to pick up the phone. Like it just matters. It's about who wants to put in. It's just as much work as a real like intimate relationship. Friendship.

Right. And I'm a texter. And so I'll like send texts to my friends. I'm just like thinking of you. How's your day? How's my girl beauty? Like, I just am like, that's what I do. Like I'm a texter. I'm checking with people. People never check in with me.

Well, and some people aren't like, and I have to say, I suck at that. They're just not like, how are you? They're like, like, do you want to get a coffee? I'll respond to that. I'll respond to that. But I don't like long monologue. Don't like, even though I write monologue texts, but like, I can't like when my mom goes at me sometimes, which I'm home right now. So these long text messages are long, like to the point where you have to hit the arrow and it goes to the next page, like long text.

It's like a novella. Yeah. But there's also friends that I have that I don't need to talk to literally for months and we're good. Right. And you just pick it up. Yeah. And we don't give each other shit. I love you. I love you so much. I hope you have the best, best, best time with your family. You are amazing. And I cannot wait to tell you more about Mr. Tennis. Keep your eyes open. I can't wait till you tell Mr. Tennis about me. Okay.

He's going to be like, she's hot. You might want to think twice about that, though. I don't know. I like I see. I like the kind of guy that you're talking about. Like, I actually like that. I think it's like charming. And yeah, like it's just I like someone that like really like is excited. You might just have to order for him, though. Just take it upon yourself. Don't say I'm like solid fish done.

Yeah. Steak. Done. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to keep you updated on my phone call and my dates. And we need to do stuff.

Like fun stuff. Yes. I have room for one more friend in my life. Cheryl and Kelly out in the town. That's right. Via zoom. All right. Have a great holiday. Happy new year. Happy new year, Cheryl. Happy new year. Here's to us. Cheers. Cheers to us. Oh my God. That was so much fun talking to Cheryl. I could talk to her all day long about friends, relationships, um,

I'm just so happy to have her as a new friend. And if you guys are interested in falling in love and having your next, I do part two, we are here for you. We're here for you for looking for dating advice, love advice.

Friend advice, all of it. We're having so much fun. So call us or email us. Follow us on socials. All the information will be in the show notes. Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.