I Choose...To Be Self-Aware with Chelsea Handler
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Scott.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone. Welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us.

You know, I love this podcast because I love getting to hear from all different types of people and learning about them and learning things from them. And today, I'm so excited to sit down and chat with my guests because...

She is absolutely incredible. She's a comedian, television host, six-time, six-time, you guys, New York Times bestselling author, about to be seven, I'm predicting, and an advocate. Her new book, I'll Have What She's Having, comes out on her birthday, February 25th.

Please welcome my friend Chelsea Handler to the podcast. Hi. Chelsea, I was recently on your podcast. Which was a huge hit. Oh, was it? Yeah, people loved it. People loved our conversation around you talking about your marriage and your

I'm your current husband. Current husband. Your husband. I say that too. It's okay. Not knowing what he signed up for and then kind of being like, wait a second. Is this my new life? Yeah. People loved it. I got so many comments about it and there were so many comments. So we had a great conversation. Thank you for that. We did. I loved it. But we were talking a lot about me and today I just want to talk about you because you have a book coming out on your birthday. How perfect is that timed? Yes. That's perfectly timed. I'll have what she's having. Yes.

Yes. Tell me why. Okay. Tell me why that title. I know that title is a line from Harry Met Sally. What a great scene. What a great line. Did it have anything to do with that or just come from a different? It did. You know, I gave the book when I was done with it. We were trying to fish around for a title and I had given it to my editor, obviously, and some other people in my life. And

And my editor came back and she's like, I think the titles all have what she's having. And I'm like, I can't name a book that about my own story. What is that? And she said, no, that's how you feel after you're done reading it. I want what you have. And I was like, oh, and she's like, and there's that Harry Met Sally reference. It was kind of like, it had a double meaning, it had a real meaning. And then it had a kind of referential meaning. And I was like, oh, oh,

And then I was like, I love that. I love that. I want to give everybody what I have. Your editor is a genius. That is so exactly how I felt. I was reading your book last night, speed reading some of it and reading all of it. Like I couldn't get enough. I didn't want to stop before the beginning of this podcast. So I will complete it. But that's how I felt. I felt like I want what Chelsea has. I want to be free to make my own decisions, not have to like worry about a husband or kids, all the things that constrain us in certain ways. But yeah,

You have always lived your life the way you've wanted to. And that is what's so beautiful about you. And it's magnetic.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I think that, you know, if you can inspire other people to like feel or think something, then I would want to inspire people to feel just more empowered about who you are, like how special you are being you. Like each one of us is so special, so individual. And we have all have a purpose. And as soon as you nail down what that purpose is and you nail down your strengths and weaknesses, like you can soar, soar like an eagle.

Do you think you only get that sort of awareness at 50? Did you have that at 48?

Good question. I mean, I think therapy helps a lot with the gift of self-awareness, right? I think as soon as you start going to therapy and finding out that you're not everything you thought you were, you're like, oh, whoopsie doodle. I had no idea I was a bitch, a cunt, all of the things that could be attributed to me or that I was nasty or that I inserted myself into situations where no one asked my opinion, that I gave unsolicited advice all the time. As soon as I had

had someone who wasn't involved in my life give it to me straight.

And in a gentle, loving way, of course, because otherwise, you know, it's therapy. They're going to tell you in a nice way. Right. But as soon as you get the gift of self-awareness, then it's really up to you. Like, what are you going to do with... Now, what are you going to do? Now that you know how you're coming across, that you're not just crushing it all the time, that sometimes you hurt people's feelings, sometimes you're hurtful to yourself, sometimes, you know, like all of the things you kind of want to know about yourself, but without being told. Wait, your therapist told you these things? Like in a session? We just...

We just talked about my behavior a lot and like the way that I've gotten through life up until then, you know, I didn't go to therapy until I was like 40. And then I went real seriously for about two years. And that was just a big gift of wake the fuck up and take a look at yourself. Like you're not all that you think you are. You're more and less like, and take an honest kind of inventory of the things that you're doing that are working for you and the things that you're doing that aren't working for you. And also how are you impacting others? Yeah.

And who do you want to be moving forward? Because this is like a time when you can do and be anything. Yeah.

Yes. And I think that's something that we also, like, we don't ever talk about that. Like you and I have never sat down and been like, what did you want to be when you grew up? You ask little girls all the time, what do you want to be when you grow up? You don't go, what kind of person do you want to be when you grow up? You know, what kind of, what kind of like, and, and, and we don't, we rarely check in and say, oh, how am I doing? Where am I in life? Is this what I wanted? What am I looking for? Like, how,

am I achieving my goals or am I way off track? And so the book starts out with this kind of me reflecting when I was a little girl to thinking about all of the things that I wanted to be as a woman. I wanted to be loud and brave and stand up for people. And I wanted to have lots of lovers and I wanted to speak languages and travel and I wanted to be sophisticated. And

And we forget when we go through life, we forget to check in with that little girl and her dreams and to find out, wait, am I doing what I dreamt I was going to be doing? Am I doing more? Am I doing less? Am I on track? We fall off track all the time too. And it's up to us to get back on track. So yeah, you really...

I mean, being 50 is fucking awesome. I'm about 50 and I can't tell you how grateful I am that I have all this knowledge about myself because now I have all this data to show you're the one who got you all this way. So you don't have to worry about you anymore. Mm-hmm.

You've said in the book, too, two steps forward, three steps back. Just because you have this great self-awareness now and you've learned all this wonderful stuff about yourself moving forward, it doesn't mean you're going to fuck up sometimes. And your old habits are going to come. Just 10 minutes ago, I was an asshole. And I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this. I don't want to go to those old habits of ways that I handle things all the time. But in those moments, you're like, oh, no.

it's rising in me, you know? It's funny you say that. Cause the other day I'm dealing with this shoulder. I just had shoulder surgery cause they found, I found an infection in my shoulder and I was like, I was supposed to be up skiing. My whole schedule's all fucked up, you know, and I have to stay home in LA after the fires, which is obviously so depressing. And thank God I have a house, but you know, just, I just wanted to be in my special place and it just kind of thwarted all my plans. And I was like, okay, here's a perfect opportunity for you not to be a bitch and

to have all of your plans upended, but to still have gratitude. You know what I mean? Be grateful that you found it, that they got the affection, that you're not more sick. And also be kind to people when you're in pain. Because I was shuffling around from doctor to doctor and I was being short and I was just like not making eye contact. And I caught myself and I was like, okay, here's a next level challenge. Can you be nicer to people when you are in pain? And my friend's like, you don't have to be nice to people when you're in pain. I'm like, I know, but

another level that I'd like to get to. I would like to be nice to people when I'm in pain. It's easy to be nice to people when you feel great, but it's harder to be nicer to people when you don't feel great. So that's my next challenge. So, you know, the next day I was like, okay, everything today, be nice, be respectful, make eye contact, please. And thank you to everyone. It doesn't matter what kind of pain you're in, you know, just kind of stuff like that, like self-awareness. Nobody

tells you about self-awareness when you're a kid or a teenager. We are so stupid and blinded and we're so wrapped up in ourselves and have our heads so far up our own assholes that it's like it is...

The best gift you can have is someone pointing out your shortcomings. Absolutely. That's like one of the things when you have a spouse or partner or somebody, there's supposed to be like a mirror of you and they hold you up to see yourself, how you don't see yourself. And sometimes...

It's not something pretty that you want to look at. And that's the time you need to do that reaching and that growing. Yeah. I think it's good that you're like, also every day is a new chance. You were like short and cold yesterday, but that doesn't mean today you have to keep doing it that way. Yeah. Like the other day, just everything that could go wrong, went wrong, went wrong, went wrong. And I was like, it's like whack-a-mole this fucking, what is this? And then finally I was like, you know what?

Go take an edible. Go up to your room. I also have Vicodin because of my surgery. I'm like, have a little party and then go to bed and try again tomorrow. Just try again tomorrow. No more contact with any other people. Like there's no more reason to communicate. Right. I need a timeout. You did give yourself a timeout. That's so smart. Oh my God. So turning 50, what do you think you've learned from other women? What that looks like or what maybe you want out of it?

I think the most, like I've been asking a lot of my friends because obviously a lot of my friends are the same age or have turned 50, you know, because I, I, everyone always asks that question. What is it? You know, and you kind of hear these boring answers all the time. Like, I feel great. Yeah. I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. Yeah, I know. I've heard that so many times. It's not that interesting, but I think one of the, like the most interesting things I've heard said about it is,

You spend your twenties and thirties and forties worried so much about what you've done, the mistakes you've made and what you need to do and not to fuck up in the future. Like we're so busy about the past and the future that we're not as present. And I think one of the benefits of aging is that you become more and more present. And when you are present, those are the moments of like bliss that you get the moments of joyfulness that are like, Oh,

I love this moment or like where, you know, you make I don't even drink coffee, but waking up and walking into a kitchen and getting a warm cup of coffee and actually being like joyful about that experience. As corny as that may sound, when you practice that, you can have that like 50, 100 times a day. Right. Right.

You can be like, oh, my God, my bed is so comfortable. You know, this Vicodin feels so good. You know, my my dog, look how good looking my dog is. He's so beautiful. I'm so proud of his good looks. Like all of those things, when you make it a pattern of behavior, it becomes a pattern of behavior. And you actually do become you kind of infect people with your optimism. And like, it's powerful. And I wish that's something I didn't know about. I didn't know about gratitude in my 30s.

Yeah. We're in my forties, quite frankly, until my late forties, you know, practice it. I was like, Oh, that's annoying. That's like chakras and Reiki. And I don't care about those things either, but now I know, and I know the difference it makes. So it's like, it's, it's up there on my list. That's great. I don't make lists.

ever. So I shouldn't even pretend. So much better way to go about your day, feeling grateful and seeing what comes to you because of just that, just being grateful for something. Being grateful. And when you're really stuck in it, when you're really stuck in your own pity party, you're

reach out and help somebody else because that gets you right out of your own ass when you reach out to someone. And now with everything that's happened in LA and the fires, there are so many people you can help. I immediately focus on other people when I'm starting to feel sorry for myself or like something's insurmountable, which nothing really is.

I mean, in reading your book too, I saw all the opportunities that you've had to help other people, how many lives you've changed and enriched and how generous you are. And I think I didn't know those things about you, quite honestly. And now I kind of have a completely different perspective and like –

like feeling about you after reading this book for some reason. Oh, wow. I love that. I feel like I feel closer to you. Oh, thank you. That's nice to hear. Yeah. Are you clear on what you're meant to do now moving forward? Have you had that moment where you're like, aha. I'm clear on like the best version of me is when I'm

for others, you know, like highlighting others, sharing light, not being selfish with any of the things that I have, whether it's my time, whether it's financials, whether it's, you know, like a spotlight on me. Like I, I know now that like,

like generosity is the key ingredient to like being happy, to be generous and be like greedy and to be selfish is like that. Nothing ends well when those two things are at play. Right. Like no one feels good. There's never a good story about being selfish. No one's ever like, and they were really selfish and they lived happily ever after. But I think also like,

Like, I just I'm just getting so much better at being who I am. And I'm also, you know, I everyone could argue that I never gave a fuck about anybody in the first place because that's how people perceive me. Right. They don't know. But I really don't give a fuck now. Like, I really don't. Like, I'm so square with myself and what I the lengths I've gone to for people and what I've done that you can't hurt me. Mm hmm.

What a great place to be. I love that. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup.

You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to... Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation. I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No, not my psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ♪

Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm Jay Shetty. My latest episode is with financial expert Scott Galloway. If you are doing a lot of side hustles, it's very, very difficult to be great at your main hustle. The only way you're going to build real wealth and economic security is to go all in on one thing. That is greatness. Focus. None of this matters. None of it means a f***.

If you can't have deep and meaningful relationships. Scott is a professor of marketing at NYU Stern School of Business. He's a best-selling author. He has earned a massive following through his lectures, podcasts, and YouTube channel. Scott Galloway. How do we rewire our relationship with money? Because most of us have a stressful relationship with money. You want to be good at money.

Put down the facade and start talking to people about their investments, how much money they make, what they do with their money, how they save money. What I tell young people is you can have it all. You just can't have it all at once. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Mark Seale. And I'm Nathan King. This is Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli. The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli is based on my co-host Mark's best-selling book of the same title. And on this show, we call upon his years of research to help unpack the story behind the Godfather's birth from start to finish. This is really the first interview I've done in bed. Ha ha ha ha!

We sift through innumerable accounts, many of them conflicting, and try to get to the truth of what really happened.

And they said, we're finished. This is over. It'll only stop going to work. You gotta get rid of those guys. It's a disaster. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Coppola, Robert Evans, James Caan, Talia Shire, and many others. Yes, that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome. My name is Paola Pedrosa, a medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy Podcast, where it's not just about connecting with deceased loved ones. It's about learning through them and their new perspective. Join me on the Ghost Therapy Podcast. Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered. I'm a little nervous. I'm excited. I'm excited, nervous. You know, I'm a very spiritual person, so I'm like, I'm ready and open.

That was amazing. I feel so grateful right now. I got to speak to my great-grandmother, Abuela, and she gave me a lot of really good advice that I'm going to have to really think about. Wow. Okay. That's crazy. Yes, that is accurate. Listen to the Ghost Therapy Podcast as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Okay, so you dedicated this book to flight attendants. Tell me why. Because I feel like flight attendants really need some more respect. They have been through COVID with people who refuse to wear masks, as if the flight attendants are making these rules. They have endured people walking barefoot, playing with their toes, picking their toes on planes. They have endured people...

Farting in their sleep. Shellfish. My friend, my co-host on my podcast. Well, farting. Yeah. But we're all tolerating that. So that's just a flight thing, which I actually read about the other day. I'm like, OK, well, this I was waiting to read about this. Obviously, the air pressure in the cabin makes everybody fart because why is one farting on planes in the first place?

But my producer on my podcast, Catherine, whom you met, she, when I met her, she traveled on planes with hard boiled eggs. Oh, no, no, no. On planes. And I was like, first of all, I don't even want to know you anymore. I'm not sure. Yeah.

Secondly, if you're going to bring a hard boiled egg anywhere and you shouldn't, if you are, you need to swallow it whole. You can't bring it out, take a bite of it and let that air emit. Like you have to swallow it whole like they did in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Remember when she was coming? Oh, no, that was Airplane, the movie when the eggs just. Different movie, but yeah.

Yeah, but I think flight attendants, I've spent so much of my life on planes and they make the biggest difference in your travel. It's so nice to have a great flight attendant and most often they are great. I've only ran into a couple of duds and all the time. I mean, I would argue that I spend a third of my life on planes and they just really make everything better and nicer and they just really deserve our respect. They're our babysitters in the sky and they're stuck with us. Absolutely. Yeah, I love flight attendants too.

You talk in your book about boundaries and about friend breakups. Those are two big topics. I think as we age, too, we're going to run into these things. Boundaries isn't all your whole life kind of thing. But as for friend breakups, what have they taught you? Well, I think a lot of boundary, the lack of boundary making can lead to a lot of friendship breaking, right?

You know, I think boundaries go hand. I've never been good at boundaries. I didn't have any boundaries growing up. I ignored them when they were, you know, introduced to me. I've never said that's too much or you're too close or this is I'm like the opposite of a boundary, you know, whatever that is. So I've had to really learn that lesson.

probably 75,000 times in my life. But I don't know that I'll ever change that part of me because I don't hate that part of me. You know, I like the fact that I'm kind of open and like, come on, you come to the party too. I like that I bring my driver in to watch a movie at my friend's house or to a funeral. I mean, a lot of people think it's too much and like, no, everybody, you know, Chelsea, it's too much. I like that. I think it's kind of fun to like live life and be that way. But-

But the lack of boundaries always will come back and bite you in the ass because when you don't have them, then they're not there. No one else is going to create them because if a relationship is working in someone's favor and there are no boundaries, obviously they're not going to be like, hey, hold on a second. I want some more boundaries here. So I have had a lot of friendship. I always have had a lot of moving people in my life. Like I've always had friendship breakups and

Ever since I was a little girl, a lot of my adult life, I have lots of friendships that are, you know, very long, but I have, I've been through a lot of friends and had a lot of friend breakups. And what I know about it is that it's painful. And when someone, um,

doesn't like if you're the one getting broken up with someone asks you for space give them double just let be like be graceful like you know when someone wants to end if you're in a relationship and a guy wants to end the relationship let them go yeah yeah bye that's okay i will survive i will come you know we all are going to survive we've all been through it we all get there um

when you're doing the breaking up, that's different. You know, now I know to be a little bit less, you know, harsh and softer and not everything needs an announcement. You can just kind of walk away quietly without making a pronouncement about it. But for anyone who's dealing with being broken up with in a friendship, I just, I would always argue that whatever you lose comes back to you in tenfold in different versions of other people.

That is true. If you, you know, you are going to make a new friend or you're going to make three new friends and they are going to fill what you never got from that friendship in the first place. If a guy breaks up with you, the next guy you're going to date is going to be great. And he's going to be even better than the last guy. Like I truly believe that. I think the biggest part problem that we have is like kind of resisting reality. Like you just need to accept the reality of the situation. And I think the biggest thing,

hurdle that we all experience. And you and I talked about this a lot, actually, when you were, when you finally let go of the idea that, you know, this relationship might not be the relationship is when the relationship came, became real again. Right. And it's letting go, like really letting go. And that's what all of these books talk to you about, you know, whether it's letting go or let them or all these self-help books, it's always about

Just don't hold on so tightly to things because when you do that, that's when things start to fall away. Yeah. If someone wants to leave you, wish them well and try not to sit there bitching and moaning and talking about them. Be graceful. Mm-hmm.

It's that attachment. We talk about that a lot in this class that I take. It's a Buddhist class. It's about the attachment to the way we expect things to be or to the way we want things to be or to the way things have been. And it's releasing that attachment that you get such freedom. Yeah, yeah. That sounds cool, that Buddhist class. I would love to go to a Buddhist class. Maybe I'll come with you one day. I would love that. That's like the only...

spirituality slash religion. I mean, I'm spiritual, but religion, I find it's really debilitating and I can't even wrap my head around it. But Buddhism really seems to be where it's at. It really does speak on a level that I comprehend and like I can take it into my real life, which is more than I have ever found in any other sort of religion. Yeah, right. And like, and I know you feel this way too. Like,

We go through periods in our life where we're not the best that we are. We're not the best versions of ourselves. We do behave badly. That's we're human. That's what happens. We do things that are regrettable. We, you know, fire off at people, say things. We act selfishly. We're not thoughtful. We can hurt people. But that's not that doesn't define you.

unless you can't see yourself clearly. Like you, a real self-actualized person looks at that behavior and goes, okay, I've got to do better. Like I can do better and I will do better. A person who's not self-actualized will be like, everything's fine. What do you mean? That person's an asshole. That person's an asshole. That person's an asshole. It's like, no, sometimes you're the asshole. The denominator is that you are the asshole. It's you. And

And I have no problem like, you know, coming to terms with that at the point in my life where I needed to. Yeah. I always say stop pointing the finger and start pulling the thumb. Yeah. You got to look at yourself and what part you had in the situation. And it's always, you're always going to have a part in it. Always. Always have a part in it. And always, it's just so much cooler in life to be non-reactive. Right.

Like, you know, when when when shit is hitting the fan and everything is falling apart at the seams where you can actually sit in a place, you know, absent from running from a fire. I'm not talking about that. Obviously, you have to be reactive in that instance. But I'm talking about like anything psychological or anything that's happening. It's just so much cooler to be like, OK, let me take this information in and come up instead of being reactive, right?

I'm going to come up with a response after I thought about it. You know, I don't have to fire that text off in the, in, in the moment that I get the text that annoys me, I can sleep on it. Like I never believed those were actual options. When people said that I was like, Oh yeah, sleep on it. I'm like, maybe I didn't know. I've got to defend myself. I've got to stand up for myself. Defend, defend, defend. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. And then you get to a place in your life where you're like, as long as you're arguing, you're wrong. Right. Yeah.

Nobody's going to feel good in this moment. If you're good, if you're right, you don't have to argue. You just sit there and go, okay, great. And then there's no like, you know, you kind of diffuse the whole situation because you're not participating in the argument. You say at one point in your book, I'm going to paraphrase because I

I can't remember. You say that to know that I'm choosing myself always makes me recognize how powerful I am when I choose that I will eventually land on my feet. So it's all about those choices of knowing yourself, knowing what you're capable of, knowing what's important to you and who you want to be out there in the world. Yeah. And also...

Like I've gotten this far, right? I'm going to be 50 years old. How old are you, Jenny? 52. 52. You have gotten to be 52. Like we're both sitting right here. We both have very healthy lives, healthy careers. There's no more. Is this going to break me? Is this going to break me? Is this going to be my last opportunity? Am I going to, there's no more of that because we have the scientific data. It's been proven that,

From the ages that we started working, we're still here. We're still sitting here having this conversation for a reason. Yeah. Because we are equipped to deal with this kind of lifestyle. So there's no more doubt. Like the self-doubt is not in my, you know, I mean, I'm sure if something comes along, I can experience it again. But as a whole, when I look at my life and I think about all the times I was like, I'm

freaking out about an opportunity or when I quit E, I'm like, what if I never get another job? What if everyone thinks I'm terrible because I quit my job? And like, no, there's none of that anymore. Like I've proven over and over and over again, how capable, how talented and how reliable I am. And like, now that I respect myself, I'm

Like I feel it all the time. Right. You choose to trust yourself. That's the best feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Is that how you feel now at 52? Absolutely. And it gets stronger and stronger, but I still do have to take those beats where I'm like, take a deep breath, take a beat, think this through before you fire back. I still have those things to learn and places to grow to, but I feel definitely very different at 52. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty beautiful. You know,

It's pretty beautiful also to like watch what's happening in our industry and watch all of the women and the ages that they are achieving what they're achieving. Like look at the year that Pamela Anderson had. Look at the year that Demi Moore had. Look at June Squibb. Like look at the...

these women, you know, you used to be considered valueless after 40. And now Hollywood, which is kind of like the leading influence over culture and always has been for a long time. I mean, maybe TikTok will take over or already has, but Hollywood has a pretty strong, is a pretty strong indicator of what's to come. It's pretty beautiful to see women excelling at these ages and getting more beautiful and more self-assured.

And really being, you know, stepping into who they are as women. I like, I, I love seeing that. And I, and I never will prescribe or subscribe to the belief that a certain age prohibits you from doing a certain thing. Like,

my I was talking about my shoulders somewhere and they're like doesn't getting old suck I'm like this has nothing to do with age like I will never relent to like I will never be like I just give in and give up like oh I'm getting older no no no this is another bump in the road and I will get past it watch me what if you didn't just lay down and then you're like oh well I'm falling apart so I guess I'll just put myself up to pasture I know I would love to euthanize myself at some point okay

Apparently you have to be, you have to be 70. I said that to my sister. I'm like, I'm just looking for a euthanasia doctor. And she said, you have to be 70 sissy. You have some time. Oh man. That's disappointing to hear actually. Because I love that feeling. Not because I want to be gone from this world. I mean, the world is a scary place, but I love, I had, when I had surgery on Friday, I was like, I, whenever you get put under, I love that feeling. So. And then they count back. They're like, count back from 10 and they go 10, 9,

nine. And then it's over. And I said to the anesthesiologist, I go, listen, I want, I want a party. I want like 10 minutes of a good time. And he's like, I want to be awake. Don't just put me out and it's over. I'm like, I'm getting surgery. Let me feel it. Yeah. Let's turn this into a fun vibe. I'm like,

I love talking. And I'm like, just get, let me be on the drugs for like 10 minutes in the, in the OR. And then you can put me out. And that's what he did. And he goes, who do you want to party with? I'm like, you guys let's party. Wait, did what, when you woke up where they're like, this is what happened. This is what you said. My doctor's like, Oh, you hadn't met Chelsea before. She loves drugs. Oh,

Oh, it's so good.

conversation while you're you know on opioids you know i can't really do those in my real life that would be a disaster yeah that's that's too far yeah too far michael jackson style can't go there even though i've thought about that hiring a doctor well there's still time chelsea

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow? Goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? No.

I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to... Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation. I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No. My psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ♪

Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm Jay Shetty. My latest episode is with financial expert Scott Galloway. If you are doing a lot of side hustles, it's very, very difficult to be great at your main hustle. The only way you're going to build real wealth and economic security is to go all in on one thing. That is greatness. Focus. None of this matters. None of it means a f***.

If you can't have deep and meaningful relationships. Scott is a professor of marketing at NYU Stern School of Business. He's a best-selling author. He has earned a massive following through his lectures, podcasts, and YouTube channel. Scott Galloway. How do we rewire our relationship with money? Because most of us have a stressful relationship with money. You want to be good at money.

Put down the facade and start talking to people about their investments, how much money they make, what they do with their money, how they save money. What I tell young people is you can have it all. You just can't have it all at once. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Mark Seale. And I'm Nathan King. This is Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli. The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli is based on my co-host Mark's best-selling book of the same title. And on this show, we call upon his years of research to help unpack the story behind the Godfather's birth from start to finish. This is really the first interview I've done in bed.

We sift through innumerable accounts, many of them conflicting, and try to get to the truth of what really happened.

And they said, we're finished. This is over. The cannoli's not going to work. You've got to get rid of those guys. It's a disaster. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Coppola, Robert Evans, James Caan, Talia Shire, and many others. Yes, that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Come to me.

Baby daddy mad because you got a boyfriend? Come to me. Thought you was the father but you're not? Come to me. I can't promise I won't judge you, but I can guarantee that I will help you. As a daughter, a sister, a mother, and an entrepreneur, I've learned a lot in life. So I'm using my own perspective and experiences to help you fix your mess. Send me your situation and let's fix it as a family. Listen to Carefully Reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I know that you've gone through breakups in the public eye, as I have. And right now with this beautiful chapter that you're in, what does love mean to you? Like, what are you looking for in a relationship?

I mean, right now I have a relationship with someone. I'm in one relationship. I'm not limited to being in one relationship. I'm open to everything. I like the idea of lots of lovers throughout my life. I like the idea of lots of love stories. I've never been someone to subscribe to this kind of Prince Charming fantasy bullshit that we've all been fed our whole lives.

I want someone who knows that I need my space, that I'm independent, that I don't need anything from you except for your care. Like I woke up the other morning, I was with my boyfriend in Whistler, Canada. And I woke up the other morning and he goes, do you know how lucky I feel to wake up next to you? He goes, do you know how many men would die to wake up next to you? And I want it to be like, not as many as you think. But I was like, what does

sweet thing for you to think about and then to say out loud articulate yeah that's the important part you would keep that to yourself most men you know what I mean like I don't want to give her too much power too much for me but what is something to say out loud yeah it is we need that because we can do anything we need to do on our own we're all such capable women you and I especially and

We call our own trots, you know, and the men can feel really intimidated by strong women such as us. Yeah. And a lot of men think, no, no, no, I'm good. I like I like your strength. Like, yeah, not going to emasculate me. And and usually they say, yeah, right. Right. Yep. What are you going to do for your birthday?

Well, my book comes out on my birthday, so I'll be doing my press tour. I have a ski video that I still need to shoot because every year I shoot a ski video of me skiing down a mountain with my dogs and a joint and a margarita. And no clothes. I'm just going to have parties wherever I go. I'm going to have one in Whistler. I'll have one in New York because I'll be there for my book release. I'll have one in L.A. probably. Just kind of little gatherings as I kind of go across the country in different cities. I mean, I think...

feel like I'll just celebrate it throughout the year and yeah, fuck it. I thought, you know, I thought, oh God, I don't need it. Whenever my friends started like, what do we want to do? We've got to blow this out. This is your 50th. And as soon as my editor said, do you want your book to come out on your 50th? I go, I

Actually, yes, that's perfect because that takes the load off of all of this planning and talking about planning. But on another aspect of it, I just feel like so much of my life is a party. So much of my life is a celebration. I've had so many nights where I felt like it was my wedding. You know, like so many I get up on stage every weekend and perform in front of thousands of people that feels perfect.

pretty fucking awesome. That feels like a birthday party every single time. So I was like a little bit like, I don't know if I want to celebrate myself, but anytime now that I'm resistant towards anything, I just go for it. I'm like, you know, you have to do it. Like, yeah, I'm really bad at dancing and I'm,

I'm decided I'm just going to start dancing. I'm very self-conscious. I know I'm a bad dancer and I feel like everyone's staring at me and I'm like, you know what? This is good. You're going to start dancing at 50 and it doesn't matter. What kind of dancing? Just like solo dancing? Any dancing. Like I can't even dance to a beat like at the Taylor Swift. Oh my God. Like just go two step. And you feel like you want to dance, but you hold yourself back because it's

It's not, nobody needs to see that. Yes. Yeah. Totally. Like self-conscious. It's like my self-conscious thing is my dancing.

And you should be free to just dance. I'm happy. You get to dance the whole year of your. I know. I'm going to start dancing and not care what anyone thinks. I love this. This is good. Yeah, because I need new challenges. You know, I need something else to be like, okay, this is, I haven't done a lot of acting work recently. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do stuff that isn't in my comfort zone. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

That's the beauty of it. Yeah. I feel like 50 is like a reset, like a reset, like, okay, now let me go around. It's like, you're going back into the hotel room to look and see what you forgot right before you check out. You're like, okay, wait, let me do one more pass. Okay. Chelsea Handler, before I let you go, what was your last I choose me moment?

Well, my breakup with Joe Coy was a big one. I choose me. That was great. That came to like a moment where it was either I would have to compromise my whole being and what I've grown up to be or, and I didn't want to break up, you know, we were in love and I wanted it to work out. And in that moment, I just remember like thinking I have to choose this or choose myself.

And I chose me. That's a big, I choose me moment. Yeah. I'm so glad. I'm so glad you did. You're so worth choosing. Like you've proven time and time again, your resilience and you're so capable. You've reinvented yourself. I really do look up to you. Oh, thank you. I admire you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. And I'll be celebrating your birthday by dancing.

Yes, please. Whenever you're dancing, throw some money. I'll think of you. You did Dancing with the Stars, didn't you? You really know how to dance. I don't anymore. Like once you do it, if you don't do it more, you lose it. I've lost it. Oh, it's like Spanish. Yeah. But thank you so much for taking the time. All the best with your book tour. You're going to have such a great year. I see it. I see it. Thank you, Jenny. Loves talking to you. Thank you so much. Love you too. Okay. Bye.

I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Black History Month is here and we're excited to kick off season four. If I didn't know, maybe you didn't either. This season, we're shining a spotlight on revolutionary women who redefined excellence. Give Grace Wisher her flowers. Next time you see the American flag, you just remember a 16-year-old black woman helped to make it happen.

Listen to I Didn't Know, maybe you didn't either, from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or simply wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many other fascinating people, like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd.

I love writing more than anything. You're left alone. You know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon, go pick up a kid from school, and write at night, and after nine hours, you come out with seven pages, and then you're moving on. And actor and comedian Jack McBrayer.

The most important aspect is the collaboration with people that I like, I trust, are talented. That has been the most amazing gift to me about this crazy business that we've chosen. Meeting these people who have such diverse talents and you're able to create something together. Listen to Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Scott.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.