I Choose...Aging Confidently with Susan Noles
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You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everybody. Welcome to I Choose Me. This is the podcast about the choices we make and where they lead us. As you may know, I am a part of QVC's Quintessential 50. We call it the Q50. It's this incredible, diverse, diverse,

family of women from all different walks of life. It's a group of women who are all just about inspiring other women over 50 to live with us in this age of possibility. So whether you're in your 40s or your 50s, I really don't care how old you are. Remember that we're all here doing just that. We are living in the age of possibility. This is our anything is possible era.

So from time to time, I will be sharing some of these incredible women with you. I am so honored to call these women my sisters and to have them on to inspire us and educate us on what's to come.

Today, my Q50 guest was a breakout star on The Golden Bachelor. She's the co-host of the podcast Bachelor Happy Hour Golden Hour. I cannot wait to chat with her all about aging and her incredible confidence in

and what I have to look forward to as I get older. Welcome Susan Knowles to the I Choose Me podcast. How are you? You're beautiful. Susan, I'm so happy to see you not in a taxi in Vegas. Yes. No, an Uber.

An Uber. That's where we first met, right? I know. Oh my goodness. That was a funniest story. We, I don't know even what happened with that. We called an Uber. You called an Uber. I got in the wrong one. That's what happened. You got in ours, but we all rode together and we had a great time. It was. It was. I'm so happy to have you. I wanted to talk to you all about your path recently. Yeah.

Yes, a busy woman. I'm a busy woman. You're a busy woman. Things changed for you. Yeah. Well, I've always been busy. I always keep busy. I know a lot of people. I do a lot of things, but this is like newer things and even more people in my world. You were a fan favorite in my house. Oh.

That's for sure. Thank you. What was it like gaining that kind of notoriety and that kind of fame so quickly? So, you know, it's funny. I've said this many times. To me, I've always been a star. Just now more people know. I was in the hair business for almost 40 years and I entertained people in the salon. I worked in a 9,000 square foot salon. So it was a lot of people.

And that's just my personality. I've done everything. Yeah. So my mom also was a hairstylist and my sister is a hairstylist.

And I know, you know, the hair salon. Very well. Been there quite a lot. Yes. Yes. Oh. Officiating weddings for about 10 years. So the golden wedding, it made it take off even more. Everybody wants you now. Yes. To do their wedding. There's only so many weekends. There's only so many Saturdays, you know. Are you just flying all over the country now? Officiating weddings? No.

not too bad. Like when I priced them out for them, most of them are young couples and they're like, Oh, I said, yeah, that expense isn't on me. That travel, that hotel, all that. That I've gone away for. And if you about renewal that I'm traveling for, it's crazy.

What would you, I mean, since all this fame and public awareness of you and your every move, what would you say you've learned about yourself? To trust my instinct. That was at that end, as far as doing the golden show, the best thing besides the friendships that came out for me was to love myself and know what I deserve.

So I treat things, I think about things a little differently than I used to as far as dating or a man. So you say that that's kind of a new thing. You've always been the star of your life, which is amazing. But you've kind of gotten familiar with yourself and your needs and your instincts a little bit more clearly now. It's about me.

It's about you. It's about time. Hello. Me time, right? That's right. What was happening for you, aside from the salon, prior to the show? What is your normal life? I'm so curious. What's going on for you normally? I don't sit down for very long. I like to keep it off. I have different...

Different groups of friends that I keep in touch with and do lunch and I travel. I like to go to the beach and go to the islands. I was down in St. Martin, Italy a few times. I'm digging in the dirt, laying mulch out back. I mean, I just, I'm busy. You don't even have time in your life for a man.

I do. I would make time for the right thing. You would. You definitely would. You just, you seem so confident in your own skin. And I don't know, I just kind of want to know what I have to look forward to when I'm your age, because we're not that far off, but it's a big difference. You've got a lot of time, trust me. Like I said, for the quintessential M50 people, I was on QVC not too long ago. Yes, that's right. Oh,

The hardest part is looking in the mirror at this age because I don't look like I used to look. And you still feel that way. Right. Right. But I've accepted me for me. I feel still sexy and I can still dress the part and act the part. My brain thinks, you know, you should be this or this. And you get on the scale and it's not that way. Right.

So I've accepted I'm comfortable in my own skin now. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. So more comfortable in your own skin. I know that's

It's challenging, even at 52, when you look in the mirror and you don't see what you used to see. Right. And then you think, oh, well, then when people look at me, they're not seeing what they want to see or what they're used to seeing. Well, yeah, you start getting down on yourself, like, you know, the menopausal tummy and things like that. Although I had somebody just recently say,

Oh my gosh, your body's like a model. I'm like, your body is slamming by the way, but it's all about the way you carry yourself. Like that's what that confidence comes with age as well. I love that part. Yeah, that's right. You were just on 15 fabulous with,

Our friend, Mally. Mally, she's a doll baby. I know. We had a ball. You went to Westchester. You went to the studios. How was your experience there? It was fabulous. I had a ball. Oh, I'm so glad. I bonded with so many people. And then the highlight was my friend Bradley recognizing me. That was- Oh my gosh. So yeah, everybody, we were in Vegas for...

for the quintessential 50 with QVC, which we're both a part of. And Bradley Cooper showed up because his mom. I'm a huge fan. He did. He was so happy to see you. I know. It was great. I love that.

But just being recognized and noticed by people. Like I spent time last week sitting with the American Heart Association and they wanted me to get involved in something I believe in. They want me to do a whole lot of things. And I was like, I'm going to give you as much as I can, you know, but time-wise, I don't have that much time to do a fundraiser or I can do it online on social media, which I'm willing to do, but yeah.

A lot of people want to get you now. Yeah. Everybody wants a piece of you. Even Bradley Cooper. Oh God, he's such a doll. What is your connection with American Heart Association? Because I have a strong connection with them as well and do a lot of work. What is your connection with or your affiliation with heart health? It's a great foundation. I know my ex-husband deals with AFib and he's about to have some surgery. And that's a minor thing I know compared to some, but yeah,

It's something that I would like to put my name behind them if I could help in any way. How about you? I've had heart issues in my life, my father, since I was a little girl. So really grew up learning to live with a parent that has heart disease and just multiple symptoms.

episodes in the hospital and all kinds of surgeries. And so when my dad passed away from heart health and various complicated issues because of it, I

decided to just really double down and become a part of the American Heart Association and just do whatever I could to just get the word out there to our ladies that we are so at risk that this is the number heart disease is the number one killer of American women. And you don't really think about it because we don't stop to think about our hearts very often.

I do when I'm trying to run or go up a flight of steps. You're like, oh yeah, let's keep digging. I love that. Okay. This is going to get personal. Okay, let's do it. Tell us about your dating life. I hate asking that because like maybe you don't want to talk about it, but if you want to talk about it. No, I'm an open book. So a lot of people assume that my DMs were just overflown.

flowing and everybody told us the producers oh wait it wasn't so I mean there was a couple that I don't want to date somebody that's my son's age if you will that's weird yeah yeah what's your cutoff it depends on the person 10 12 years younger I could go 12 years older but however I did meet somebody back in November this is a cute story actually tell me tell me your meet cute

And so he asked for a selfie. We were in HomeGoods, you know, Marshall's HomeGoods. You know, he was way smaller than I look at, whatever. But there was a moment. Wait, wait, wait. Smaller, you mean height wise? Yeah. Okay. He looked to be my age. And I had a moment, like I would have talked to him because there was something about him. And he left. And I ran to my cousin's

I said, did you see that guy now? I said, I would have chatted with him even though he wasn't my type. Well,

It is four days before Super Bowl. I'm going through my mail and this man says, hi, you don't know me. My name is such and such. My friend is trying to get a hold of you. You met him a month ago in Marshalls. Well, that I did not see that message. It was February. That message was sent to me on December 19th. So now it's three months.

It's buried. So he says, I'm going to send you a selfie of him, a picture of him. He gleams up real well. So now I put in the picture and it's the guy from Marshalls. Oh my God. So I said, oh my God. Yes. Give me his information. I held on to it for a while because I'm busy. I was sitting there Super Bowl Sunday and said, you know what? Let me reach out.

What do you say? You know, I don't know what to say. So I go, are you? It was four minutes before the Super Bowl started. I go, are you ready for some football? Hey, I like that. You got game. I don't have a choice. It comes on in three minutes, by the way, is a Susan. I said, yes. OK. And then it just sort of took off. Yeah, we've been hanging out a little bit.

Nothing crazy. He's taking it very slow, I see. But he's a fun guy. Great conversation. He doesn't mind when people come up to us at dinner. Yeah, so we'll see. You're so inspirational for so many women. You know that? It's never too late. This is my last chapter. That's how I look at things.

You know, I just turned 67 in March, which I can't even believe. Okay. This is not your last chapter then. It's the last chapter. It depends on how long your chapters are. Yeah. And I want to make it the best chapter. I don't surround myself with negative thinkers. I'm all about putting things out to the universe. I believe in the good things in life and

Making people happy and sharing what I have with with anybody. A lot of people share with me their their heartaches online. And and I feel like I'm a counselor. So you are people. People trust your advice. Like you. You just have that air about you. Like, go to Susan if you need advice.

I've made people feel better. And that's the most important thing. I know, right? Or a hobby or a new outfit, whatever floats your boat, you know? Yeah. Just get up and live again. It's not over. I love this so much. I want you to come visit my mom. Oh, gosh. Okay. So if...

someone that's over 50 is thinking about getting into the dating game, what advice would you give them? How do they even do it? Do they do it online? I was online dating forever prior to the show. And the show cured me. It really did. I see the same faces over and over. I'm not afraid to put myself out there. When I chit chat with somebody, let's meet. Let's just real quick have a cup of coffee, see if there's any chemistry.

Yeah, exactly. I don't see anything wrong with that. And I've met a few people in my life that I spent some time with. They just weren't the right ones forever. But after going on the show, I decided to stop searching because as I quote this, it's out there everywhere. I used to believe I was a woman that needed a man. But now I am a woman that a man needs.

And I'm not going to look anymore. I'm very satisfied with my life. I would love for that to happen to me, but I'm not going to search.

Oh, that's great. If it's meant to be, it will happen. You know how I heard a lot, and I felt when I started to age, that I sort of felt like I had become invisible. You walk in the room, it's not quite the same reaction that you used to have. For me, I would walk in the room with my beautiful daughters and they would get that reaction. But I would be like, oh, I guess I'm invisible now. Okay.

But there's no chance that you could walk into a room and be invisible.

A lot of people share that. I'm too loud. I'm Italian, you know? And you're tall and you have this, yeah. I love people. Like, I never meet a stranger. So I feel the part when they say invisible that I don't turn as many heads as I used to. And back then, if I knew now what I know now, oh man, I could have had anything I wanted, but I was naive. Like, they're not looking at me. Okay.

Oh, but they were. They were. I had no idea. I was clueless. Oh, I think that too. Like if I knew then what I know now, man, I'd conquer the world. I read all the books. I do all that. I go, oh, whatever.

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Thank you.

What would you tell your younger self? Stay true to yourself. Believe in yourself.

And when you see a red flag, Susan, it's not going to change. It's a red flag. I used to ignore those. Now, if I see a red flag, I say, yep, not this one. Okay, so how many red flags? Is it one red flag in your house? Oh, because I haven't done it yet since I've said this, but...

No, like I always think, okay, somebody you meet and they're in my situation. It was, he was a heavy drinker. And I thought my ex was an alcoholic. He's in recovery, 40 plus years. God bless him. But do I want to do this? You know, Oh, it shouldn't be that bad. You know? And then after being in it six months, you realize it's bad and I don't want this life. Yeah. Narcissistic people, you know, I,

I dated this one gentleman that I liked real well. And it was, there was never really a compliment. It was, Oh, we look great together. You know, those kinds of things. Yeah.

I need to be special in someone's life and I will make them special in mine. Maybe I'm asking for the impossible. I know, right? I've heard this before and I felt this before. I'm asking for too much or I have too many needs or expectations. So I have my list, you know, they say write it down. And the gentleman that I met in the store said,

My first thing on my list is I like a tall man. This man, my size.

He's your height, like eye to eye. And that's so unlike me, but it doesn't matter. That used to matter. That used to matter. You know what I mean? Like I wouldn't even think about it because I'm tall. And it's like, what was I thinking? Yeah. Things have changed. Yeah. Your list changes. Yeah. I have that list too. And I do like to check off some of the boxes, you know, but then I kind of think like,

I've heard before, I think it was the 80-20 or maybe it was 60-40 or 70-30. I don't know. But like if it's 80% good. It would be good, yes. And 20%, you know, not sure. Something that you couldn't live with.

You could live with. I mean, I'm not perfect. No. I think I am. I'm a great catch. And if you find somebody that's willing to take a look at that 20%, probably, and work with you a little bit here and there, that's great.

That makes a difference. Yeah, I agree. I agree. So the hopes of that fall in love, I'm a Pisces and a dreamer. And, you know, I still dream about the happily ever after. I have to keep that in here and believe that to the day I die, or I will be very disappointed if I think there wasn't one. So.

Right. Like what's the point of living if you don't have dreams, aspirations, things that excite you? I mean, I love my family. My grandkids are a blast. You know, I do all that. But you always want somebody to go home to or share when you're upset or share when you're excited. You know, tell them somebody that makes me laugh and I make them laugh. They're my, yeah.

How long have you been single? Long, long time. Without my husband, like over 18 years. I've had two pretty long relationships, three-year ones, but yeah, pretty long. Oh my gosh. I'm excited for your next chapter. Thank you. I mean, I'm excited for my next chapter. I'm excited for all women's next chapter. And I love the idea of

that we get to just reinvent ourselves every morning. Like we can just wake up every morning and I thank the universe every day for certain things that have not arrived yet, but they will. I say universe too. It's just a personal choice, but I love that.

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You said before you believe in like alignment and think when things come into your life or signs. What's the last sign you can remember that you got that kind of made reassured you that you're on the right path? So,

I've had a talk to a woman. Her name was Kelly, and she wanted me to do a 25 year vow renewal for her. She lives in Hawaii and she was coming up home to Reading. It was a double wedding, her and her husband's renewal and her grandfather at 84 years old. Yes. So I did a double thing and it was incredible.

The most emotional wedding I've ever done. I bonded with these people. It was very small scale. It was lovely. Well, she wrote a book, Being Your Own Aloha. And she said, I wanted to bring you this book. And she said, all I have is my old copy. I said, that's perfect. This book, my life right now just took off for me personally.

about putting things out there and preaching about it, talking to people about, don't look at it negative. I don't feel like the universe understands the English language. It's a vibe. You have to believe. An energy. An energy, exactly. And that book just, it was amazing. I just wrote her and things like that to thank her and what it did for me. And it just fell into your hands. Yes.

That's the best. Best. I love, I get goosebumps whenever things line up like that. I know.

I'd like to preach about it or teach people how to live that life. I don't know. Go do it. Get on that platform. You have so, so many people that are looking to you for your positive messaging because you exude happiness and competence and self-love. And that's what everybody wants. They want, that's why they want a piece of you because they want to feel that the same way you feel.

My assistants in the salon over the years, I would train people for two to three years until they were ready to get a chair. And quite a few of them, absolutely one of them, wrote in when I was on QVC. And he would say things to me like, I just want to be just like you when I'm your age. You don't let anything bother you. I said, don't be fooled.

It's a Saturday in the salon. I've got six people deep with color on their heads. There's no time to break down right now. Don't think I cry when I leave or I'm frustrated. We all are. But my quote was fake it till you make it. This is so interesting that you just said that because that has always been something that I've used.

Just to like pump myself up, you know, listen, it's go time. You've got to get out there and shine whether you feel like it or not.

For other people. Yes. And someone just, I just, I don't know where I heard this, but I heard someone say, how about when you say fake it till you make it, you're kind of telling yourself that that's not you because you're faking it. No, I don't see it like that. For me, fake it till you make it is fake.

suppress all the negatives that you're feeling and go do what you're supposed to be doing to the best of your ability, even though you're not feeling secure, like you're going to do it well. So fake it, get out there and do it. And usually it's successful. It really is. It's your own fears and your own hangups.

You know, when I did hair competitions and stuff, oh my God, I'm not good enough or I'm not this. And I faked it and went out there and I ended up on a billboard on 95 with my daughter's hair. It was like amazing. Wow. But I was scared. Isn't that crazy that it's the fear. It's the same fear that's holding all of us back.

Fear is crippling. If it sneaks up, get rid of it. Get rid of it somehow, some way. Tell us how to get rid of it. How do you get rid of it? I can only allow myself to sulk or be down for a few minutes.

I got to take my mind and start focus on positive things. I'll breathe. I try to meditate. I'm not good at it because there's so many things going on in my head at one time. But I just transfer. I'll breathe.

I'll count my breathe, my breaths and focus back on something so positive and remember all the things that I'm grateful for and let that be gone. It's not easy all the time, but. But just feel it. Let let your self experience whatever it is.

And then you'll naturally know when it's time to let it go. Going to be on the Golden Bachelor, I didn't know what to expect. Talk about fear, like, gosh, I'm going to look fat on TV, which I did. You know, you did not say to me, oh, my God, you're so much prettier in person. And how did you lose so much weight? I go, I didn't lose any weight.

Oh, listen, I've heard it all. Yeah. I thought you would be so much shorter. Yeah. Everything. They've said it all. Yeah. And then there's the, all the negative comments, you know, I'm sure you know, and,

Dwell on the positive. Same thing in my hair business. You can put out 20 fabulous, rocking looks and you get one negative and all those don't matter. That's all you focus on. Well, guess what? Everybody does things wrong. Not everybody's going to love everything. Focus on the 20 good. It's so easy, yet so difficult to just sort of switch your perspective and switch your mind.

to that way of thinking. But that's really the key. A good hug will do it. Yeah. We talk about things on this podcast about how

how choosing, how we choose ourselves. And since I started this podcast and started building a brand around I choose me. Yes, I love it. I've listened. Thank you. Things fall into place and you start to feel yourself choosing yourself in the most mundane, everyday even ways or in pretty big significant ways. But if you start thinking that way,

Wow. And it starts happening. Yes. Yes. I believe in it. I have to believe. And like you're saying, start thinking positive. I really think you have everything it takes to become a positive.

positive positivity preacher. A basal speaker. Absolutely. Run with it. Run with it for this next chapter. See what you can do. I'm so excited to watch. I'm going to run with the people over 15 and making them feel good. Yeah. Letting them know just watching QVC that there's life out here. It's so helpful. And I always think like if I've helped one person even, you

you know, with this message or with something I said, then I'm good. Makes you feel so good and you want to do more of it. And that keeps us happy and content.

Speaking of I choose me, what was your last I choose me moment? It can be big. It can be little. Then I always choose me. That's good. I'm a giver. Okay. I will make myself uncomfortable or short of times to do for others.

And just recently, I was about to do it again and I always regret it afterwards. And I said, no, I usually don't say no. And I said, no, I don't have the time. I couldn't give you 100%. I'm sorry, I can't. Perfect. That was hard. It's hard to do that, right? You don't want to disappoint people. And nobody knows me to say no. They all know. Susan will do it.

Susan will work it in. Susan will, you know. Susan will give up what she needs to make somebody else happy. But I said no. Oh my God, I love it. This is a page turner right there in this chapter. I'm so here for what's next for you. I just love visiting with you. Tell me something that you choose.

Oh my gosh, I choose me. I do it on a daily basis by choosing the stairs over the elevator.

You know, it can be something as simple as that. Walking a little further away, even though you're in a hurry. Yeah. Interestingly enough, though, this kind of sounds like the opposite of an I choose me moment because there was a family wedding and I, it was a very difficult logistically for me to get there and schedule wise. And it just seemed impossible. And I, I,

To be honest, didn't think I could do it. I didn't really want to put in all that effort. But I ended up doing it in my mind for my sister and for her daughter. And ultimately, it ended up being for me.

Because something good came out of it. You felt good because they were happy or did you? No, I just I felt good because I was giving of my time and my love to people that mattered.

And did you realize that they realized what you gave up to be there? Does that matter to you? That doesn't matter to me. Acknowledgement? I can feel it. They don't need to acknowledge it or verbalize it as long as it's a feeling. And I did feel, you know, that it was a significant thing that I was there and that made it an I choose me moment. I get it. It makes you feel so good. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm feeling good, people. So I'm going to do something to please somebody and they're so excited or happy or their heart warms up. That makes me feel good. Yeah. I'm so happy to be a Q50 sister with you. Thank you. I am as well.

Spread the word. Spread the word. And I'm a fan of yours and I just can't wait to see what is next for you. Thank you. I'm excited. Thank you so much. Thanks for chatting with us. You're a beautiful person inside of it. Stay true to yourself. You bet. Choose you. Choose me. Choose you. You choose you. Love you. Thank you. Bye.

Oh, that was such a fun and insightful conversation with Susan. She's so wonderful. It was great getting to hear her thoughts on aging and what I have to look forward to, what we all have to look forward to. This talk really got me thinking about my own age. And I loved what Susan said about her advice that she would give her younger self. If I could tell my younger self something,

It would be to stop spending so much time worrying about things or trying to force things to happen a certain way that it will all work out the way it's supposed to. You know, one of the ways I choose myself is to take the time to ask myself questions and then actually listen to the answers that come up. So this week, I am going to ask myself this question and I want you to try it too.

Are you letting society's definition of aging determine your worth? Are you afraid of starting something new because you think, I'm too old to do that? Are you letting a number hold you back from experiencing love or achieving your wildest dreams? I want to remind you that age is just a number, nothing more. I love you.

Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. Remember, follow us at I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on Instagram and rate and review the podcast because you know we love it. I'll be right here next week. I hope you choose to be here too.

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