How to manifest a specific person back into your life
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Okay, guys. So I'm on Raya. Yes, I have a huge announcement. I've downloaded a dating app for the first time in many years. I haven't been on any dating apps since 2019. And I've been pretty good at manifesting relationships without the use of any dating apps. And anytime I've used a dating app, it's just been an epic fucking nightmare. So I've just tried to avoid them at all costs. However, I've been doing it more as a social experiment for myself and also to learn more about myself.

And learn about dating in 2023 and 2024. Because I know a lot of people have actually met their significant others on dating apps nowadays. And I feel like, in general, dating has just shifted and changed so much over the years. And social media has facilitated that. Dating apps have facilitated that.

You get it. You probably know. I'm sure there's many of you who have met your significant others through dating apps or online or social media. So yeah, I've never really tested it out or given it a fair shot. There was a year period of time, 2019, where I went on a dating app rampage and I was dating heavily in New York City. But then...

I just got so fatigued from the apps and I was like, this is not working. I kept meeting up with people that just didn't want anything serious and it never really went anywhere productive. So at the end of 2019, I actually deleted all of my dating apps and I was like, I'm done. This just isn't working and it's not for me. And within a couple of weeks, I met my next boyfriend searching for an apartment. And I felt like I had manifested it because I had always said, I don't feel like my partner or anyone I would date would be...

someone I would meet on a dating app. And I think he was using dating apps, but I never would have swiped on him. No offense to him. I love him to death and I always will. But no offense to him. I'm very attracted to him. But at the same time, I just don't think he would have been my typical type that I would swipe on a dating app. So I probably would never have met him that way regardless.

Anyways, there were a few crazy situations I encountered while I was in London for the holidays. I went back to London. Yes, I did. For those of you who listen to the podcast regularly, you know that I love it there and I spend a lot of time there. However, this time I realized that I'm probably never fucking going back there. And as much as I love the city itself, I'm not going to go back there.

I just had so many crazy bad things happen to me during this trip, which you probably heard about if you've been following me on social media.

But if you want to go check out the full rundown of what was happening, you can go to my Instagram at Date Yourself Instead and check out my reels where I talk about the most insane dating stories that happened while I was in London, as well as me having an ovarian cyst that ruptured in the middle of the night and I almost had to go to the hospital. It was really scary.

And there was just a bunch of stuff combined where I felt like my hotel room was haunted. And I just felt like weird energy all around, like I wasn't supposed to be there. And I ended up canceling the rest of my trip and leaving early. And the first time I tried to cancel it, my flight got canceled. So then I was stuck there for an extra two days, had to spend an extra $1,000 on accommodations and cabs and food. And it was just a whole shit show, okay? I'm very glad to be back in New York.

Not to go too off topic here, but I never met anyone of significance while I was in London. This time around, I used the apps. Everything was going wrong. I was like, okay, if anything, I stand by this idea of not using them because I just can't. I cannot waste my energy and my precious, valuable time that I've spent...

The last year and a half, building my self-esteem and my confidence and healing and doing the inner work and to go through these experiences again where I feel like I'm back at square one with dating, I just can't. And I know I'm actually not back at square one because I have boundaries now. And if something doesn't feel right, I immediately cut it off. Whereas maybe in the past, I used to drag it out.

But still, the audacity that some of these people have, the audacity that these men have, this one guy literally asked if he could call me a car to his apartment without ever meeting him beforehand, literally in the middle of the night. It was like almost midnight and he's like, let me call you a cab. No, sorry. He said, am I calling you a cab in a very aggressive, weird tone? And he cut off the conversation just to ask me if I was coming over to have sex with him, basically. Just stuff like that where I'm like,

How do men even still talk to women this way and get away with it? Like with no shame, with no remorse, they just have no respect or class at all. Anyways, so I end up going back to New York and I literally had deleted the dating app off of my phone. And I'm on like this trial where my subscription ends at the end of the month. So I'm like, okay, I'm done with this app anyway. I'm not paying for it anymore. This is absolutely ridiculous and a waste of money and time.

And this morning, before I got to the podcast studio...

I was bored and I was like, wait, I still have my subscription to this dating app. Maybe I should just re-download it for a hot second and just see what's up in New York. And of course, I opened my app and I had matched with this guy from Australia that I have never seen before. I don't remember if I had liked him a couple of days ago or a week ago. I really don't remember. But...

He was pretty attractive and he was making me laugh. And it made my morning because he was making me crack up because he was asking me what the biggest icks I find in a guy are.

And that was just entertaining to talk. It was just an entertaining conversation. And it made me crack up because... If anything, I was making myself laugh more because I was telling him that there was a time where I walked into a first date and the guy stuck his tongue out at me and gave me this weird, creepy smile where he stuck his tongue out and was showing all of his teeth and scrunching his face up. And I was like, dude...

Absolutely fucking not. We're not doing this right now. I'm done. And that might sound like I'm being extremely mean and fucked up, but

I just can't. Certain things, if I just meet you and you go all out and you're doing weird things with your face, can you tell I'm a Capricorn? I feel like we're just stone cold and heartless in the beginning of dating. Like when I'm initially getting to know someone, you have to play it cool with me because I'm playing it cool. And you have to match my energy and kind of mirror what I'm doing or else I get so easily turned off. And that might be really horrible. And I feel like maybe that's why I'm still single.

I'm kidding. But it was just this weird thing. I can't even really reenact it. It's just obviously a person-to-person situation. But yeah, that was one big ick. And I was telling him, yeah, this guy stuck his tongue out at me and I was creeped out. And then I was thinking about another ick for me where if I see a grown man licking an ice cream cone, you're done. Yeah.

This is so extreme. I'm going to get so much backlash. I feel like I'm going to get these vicious DMs later being like, you're a fucking bitch. But I cannot witness if it's the first or second or third date and your grown man licking an ice cream cone passionately.

It's just so bizarre to me. That image in my head, go Google it, okay? Google man licking an ice cream cone and screenshot it and send it to anyone and get their opinion, okay? It's weird. It's fucking weird. Not like eating out of a cup, okay? That's fine. But if you're a grown man licking an ice cream cone with sprinkles, walking around, I don't know, something about that, it freaks me out. Or giggling. Giggling is another one.

Okay, so I also have this thing and I do attribute it to being a Capricorn because a lot of people have told me this. I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. It's a very specific type of humor where I'm very overly sarcastic and I'm like monotone in a way, but I can still be super sarcastic and funny. But someone really has to understand that and keep up with it and understand that I'm being sarcastic. And

And I need a man who gets that and breaks me out of my hard Capricorn shell. And it's very hard to find someone that makes me genuinely laugh all the time. So this guy was actually getting it. He was making me crack the fuck up. And a big ick for me is if I'm the one making you laugh the whole time and you're giggling like a little baby. Like I...

I don't know how to explain this, but I've experienced this before where a man just was like laughing at everything I was saying, but I wasn't being entertained by him. And it felt like I was like putting on a show and a performance and I had to actually force my way through the conversation and perform during the date, if that makes sense. I don't know if it's actually an ick, but it's more like,

If I'm not being entertained and I'm just being the entertainer right off the bat, that's just someone that I wouldn't necessarily want to be with. Like, I love someone who can banter with me and we could go back and forth and make each other laugh maybe equally or they're making me laugh more. That's such a huge, huge, huge, huge thing for me. Anyways, I might sound like a fucking asshole right now and you guys are going to turn my podcast off and never listen to it again. Be like, wow, like I didn't realize.

I didn't realize how mean you are. Take these things lightly, okay? I'm like half kidding in a sense because obviously, I think if you have a genuine connection with someone, nothing's really going to turn you off. I truly believe that and this whole ick thing has gotten completely out of hand on social media and technically everything could be an ick now. But for me, I really believe that if you love someone enough and you care about their... Like if you genuinely feel a connection and a spark and a vibe, nothing is really going to scare you away from that.

So, yeah, I think ics are only applicable when you never could have seen yourself with that person in the first place, if that makes sense.

Anyways, now before I really dive into today's episode in full, I also wanted to bring up my masterclass. The people in the Dare to Detach masterclass are crazy, okay? First of all, the door is open for the masterclass on December 19th. I'm so excited to open up the doors again because a lot of you have been asking, when is it coming back? I didn't get a chance to join. It's opening up again, December 19th, 2023. Perfect, just in time for the new year. I can't wait to open it up.

I cannot wait for you guys to join. This is the last and final opportunity before the new year, obviously, because it's literally December, which is insane to think about. But this is the last chance to really grab the masterclass for the year, to up-level, to upgrade, to step into your power, and to let go of all the bullshit, to let go of the past, to move into the new year with abundance and an entirely new mindset. And I highly, highly recommend you go grab it as soon as possible because the

The sale is only lasting a week and then I'm not running the sale again until probably February or March of next year. So I highly recommend you go get it now if you're interested and you've been thinking about it. This masterclass is designed to upgrade your entire life to the point where everyone in your life around you senses an energetic shift in you and they respond and react to that. I've had so many people in the community tell me that their ex have come back right after they finished the course because...

I'm telling you, people feel when you shift and up-level and energetically change internally. Everything is internal and everything on the outside is just your mirror reflected back to you at what phase of life you're in and where you're at energetically. So if you truly do the inner work and you heal and you detach from the toxic BS,

people around you sense that. And I've had so many people in the community be like, Liz, I haven't spoken to my ex in months and they fucking called me, they texted me, they wanted to talk to me and they wanted to figure things out or they wanted to see what I was up to and what I was doing with my life. And I'm like, don't answer, don't respond because they feel that you're energetically shifting and they feel that you're moving on and detaching. But that is the whole point of the masterclass. It's not necessarily to get your ex back,

but it is to let go of the BS so you can actually attract amazing people into your life, new relationships, new career opportunities, whatever you're trying to manifest, this is the masterclass for you.

I am so passionate about it and I talk about it all the time because it actually fucking works. This is everything that I do to manifest all of my wildest dreams. It's manifested people back into my life. It's manifested career opportunities. It's literally created a brand new timeline for me. A few years ago, I was literally broke with no purpose and I felt so depressed and I felt like I had no meaning to my life. And this is...

literally everything I learned along the way to heal myself and get myself back to a place where I feel unstoppable and I feel like I'm on top of the world. So we would love to have you join. If you're interested, you can go to my Instagram at Date Yourself Instead or you could look in the show notes for the link to sign up for the masterclass. Doors open December 19th. Would love to see you there and be sure to use the code SELFLOVE for $20 off exclusively for the podcast listeners.

Now, let's get into the episode. How to manifest a specific person back into your life. So now I want to preface this episode by really saying this podcast is literally called Date Yourself Instead. And I'm fully aware of the message I'm trying to send on here. We're all about self-love, self-empowerment, and doing your own thing. And the last thing that should be on your mind is trying to manifest a specific person back. But I know how it goes. Okay, we're human. We're human.

Sometimes we miss people and we want them back in our lives because we had an amazing relationship with them and we miss them and we feel like maybe they were the one, but maybe the timing was off. Maybe there were certain circumstances that just prevented you from being with them and you want them back in your life. So what the fuck do you do?

The truth is at the end of the day, no matter how many tips and tricks I give you about dating yourself instead, I know how hard it could be when you feel like you lost the love of your life or you lost someone that meant so much to you and you just want them to be a part of your life still. And if you truly, if you truly, truly believe this person is the one with all of your heart and soul and you are not living in delusion where they treated you poorly and you just want them back,

because you have no one else right now, then this episode is for you. I don't want to promote you manifesting someone that's not right for you because that's a totally different situation. This is for the people who know that this is the one. This is the person that they should be with. Or if you're just looking to manifest someone that's actually right for you and you're looking to manifest your soulmate, keep listening, right? But don't try to...

Put all your energy towards someone that treated you like fucking garbage because that's not going to benefit anyone, especially you in the long run. It's going to bite you in the ass because even if you do end up manifesting that person back, it's going to end up in the same cycle and the same toxic pattern where you're going to end up hurt again and again and again. And I've done this before and that's why I highly advise against that. So just be aware of what you're doing and what your intentions are before moving forward and before listening to the rest of this episode.

I want you to understand the universe does not fuck up your plans and your journey. This is your unique life path. And this is just the timing of your life. Sometimes breakups and separations between people need to happen in order for each person to grow individually and do the inner work. And sometimes breakups just need to happen in order for you to take time for yourself to heal and do things on your own, okay?

Timing is everything when it comes to relationships. Sometimes people just aren't ready or maybe you're not ready. It could go either way.

Sometimes people need to separate because each individual just truly has shit to figure out and that's okay. And it happens all the time. No relationship is perfect. I've heard countless stories of people who have broken up for months or even years and they ended up back together because they just needed to do inner work and healing on their own before being in an actual healthy relationship for the long term.

I also want to go into this episode with a really balanced, practical way of giving advice where I'm not giving you insane amounts of false hope because there's a difference between being open to receiving love and trying to manifest back a specific person and then understanding that

you know, everything happens for a reason and sometimes things have to end to clear space for someone new and even better to walk into your life. You have to really evaluate what's right for you and you have to really be the ultimate judge of that. If you were constantly on edge and anxious and depressed and miserable around someone and they were draining the fucking life out of you, you have to really reevaluate and be honest with yourself. Do you actually want to manifest them back?

Or do you want to manifest the love of your life, someone who treats you and worships you like gold and makes you feel like an even better version of you? What do you actually want? Do you think this person's actually going to be able to show up for you in the way that you want them to show up for you?

Or do you think you're just wasting your fucking time by trying to get them back into your life? Your ego is inflated for a little bit because you're like, oh my God, I got them back. And then will it end up in the same toxic cycle that it could have been before? Or maybe if it wasn't necessarily that toxic and you just believe you're supposed to be together, then fine. But just be really honest with yourself and be really clear about the situation at hand because you don't want to waste your time. You have to really get real with yourself and...

Try to figure out why you want them back in your life in the first place. Were they really benefiting your life? Were they making you a better person? Were you waking up every day happy with them in your life? Or were you anxious and stressed out and crying all the time? Get real with yourself before you move forward with this process, okay? Because...

The last thing you would want is to waste your time and drain yourself even more and go back into a toxic pattern. The universe ultimately knows what's best for you. And if you're trying to manifest someone that's really, really, really not supposed to be in your life, what I will say is that it could be really difficult to do that because...

The universe, if you're a good person and you have a good heart, the universe might be divinely protecting you and helping you move away from that person at all costs. So even if you try this manifestation technique and it's not working and you're getting blocked, it could also be for very good reason and divine protection that you're not seeing because you're blinded.

And you're not being real with yourself because maybe this person actually wasn't the love of your life and they were just really toxic and it was some sort of weird trauma bond because that happens all the time. And we can get so blinded and caught up in the BS because we're emotional and we're like, oh my God, you know, I can't see myself with anyone else. Meanwhile, you were crying every day and you were not happy. So really...

Do you really not think you can do any better? The universe knows you can do better, so it might intentionally block you from manifesting this person back. So keep all these facts in mind, okay?

For example, when I had manifested my ex-boyfriend back four times, okay, there were four different occasions where I just could not get over him for the life of me. And I still love him. I don't, I think it's, I've come to accept that he's that one person for me that I'm always going to have so much love for because the overall relationship was not toxic. It was very good. But I would always think I need him back. I need him back. How do I do this? And I would detach in a healthy way and still focus on myself.

But in the back of my head, I was like, he's the one I need to be with him. And then he would come back. And what would happen was the same fucking pattern would repeat where we would just have to end up breaking up again. And it's not to say I regret any of those experiences that when we did get back together because I learned even more throughout that process. And sometimes that needs to happen to repeat mistakes and patterns in order for you to really drill it in your head that it's not working. But...

What I will say is nothing really changed. And if you want to evolve and change and level up and you want to actually find the love of your life, really keep that in mind when you're trying to manifest an ex back because you might repeat the same pattern over and over and over again and it's really going to get you nowhere in the long run.

So just keep all this in mind when you're trying to manifest your ex back because it's ultimately your judgment call and you know what you're looking for and you probably know what you're going to get out of the situation if they're back in your life. So let's get into the formula. Okay, I'm just going to get straight to the point so I don't waste too much of your time. I know I'm not wasting your time, but I just wanted to preface the episode in this way because I want you to have good clear judgment when you're doing something like this because this brand...

is important, okay? The whole date yourself instead movement, the whole purpose is to honor your truth and know your worth and know your boundaries and know what you deserve. And I don't want anyone to fall into a toxic pattern of entertaining someone that's not worth their time and entertaining someone that doesn't value you and appreciate you because you could technically manifest anything or anyone back, but is it right for you? Ask yourself that question. Is it right for you? Okay, now let's dive into the formula.

The first step is genuine detachment. You have to get so unattached to the outcome of what it's going to be with this person. Now, I know that sounds like it makes no sense because the whole point is to attract this person, but you cannot attract anything into your life if you're clinging onto it desperately and projecting your energy at it all the time because that's actually repelling it from coming into your life.

In order to attract anything, you have to focus your energy inwards. So you become magnetic and you'll draw situations and circumstances and people in when you are most focused inwards and on yourself. So how do you really detach? I get into the nitty gritty details in my masterclass, Dare to Detach, of course, which is why I created it in the first place and why I talk about it so much.

The Dare to Detach program will set the entire foundation for the rest of your life because it's literally there to reprogram your brain and to detach and let go and free yourself from clinging onto the past.

But I'm also going to give you the free advice on the podcast, which is being extremely aware of your thought process. You have to be so aware of what you're thinking on a daily basis and also what you're feeding your brain on a daily basis because it's affecting your subconscious mind and your programming. Detachment comes from a genuine rewiring of your entire thought process. So when you wake up in the morning...

If this person is the first thing on your mind and you start replaying memories and you start thinking about ways you can get back together with them and how you miss them and how you wish you were with them and you're crying and you're upset and you're constantly thinking of those thoughts in your head, that is causing so much resistance into actually attracting them back into your life.

So when you wake up, I want you to immediately do a meditation. Go to YouTube, type in quantum jumping meditation, find one that resonates with you, or type in a meditation that resonates with you. It could be really any morning meditation. Joe Dispenza has amazing ones. You could YouTube Joe Dispenza morning meditation. Look it up. And I want you to envision your higher self giving you advice. Would the best version of you approve of that person in your life? And

And also, how do you want to show up in the world? What's important to you? Who are you? What direction are you trying to go in? Is this person really idealistically going to be a part of your future? Or are you just holding on to the past because you're afraid to be alone and you're afraid to truly let go and become an even more empowered version of you? Sometimes we're afraid to let go because we don't know what the future actually holds and we're scared to tell

to tap into our higher self because we're like not really sure of what the unknown consists of. But the truth is, the universe is constantly guiding us and protecting us when things aren't clicking and things aren't working. And when they're constantly getting blocked, it's always a blessing in disguise. So just be aware of that and really get clear

with yourself. Is this person the husband of your children? Is this person going to be there for you when you're laying in bed sick and in your wedding vows, you say, in sickness and in health, right? Is that person actually going to show up for you 24-7 or are they going to ghost you like they did 30 times in the past? Is this person actually a reliable partner? You have to be completely honest with yourself. And then

And then sometimes that'll even make you change your mind about them. When you really, really reflect and you start doing this inner work, you could detach to the point where you're like turned off by their old behaviors where you know that they're not even the right person anymore. And this has happened to me on several occasions. I also want you to keep in mind, if you're constantly communicating to the universe that you want someone or you want something and you're saying...

I want them. I need them. I miss them. You're communicating to the universe that they're not in your life and you don't already have them. And the key to attracting and manifesting is knowing that it's already a part of your life and trusting that it's already yours. You're only going to attract experiences and people into your life when you already feel like it's a part of your life. You have to make it a part of you. You have to act as if this person is already a part of your life and it's not something you've lost.

right? Because if you constantly say, I miss them, I need them, I need them, I need them, it's actually driving them energetically further away. The next step is I want you to keep yourself in check and make sure you're actually in alignment with this other person and you can really, really see a future with them. I just mentioned this, but you have to be realistic when it comes to making

decisions about the person you want to spend your time with. Your time is precious. Your energy is precious. Your energy is valuable. It's your currency, okay? If you're directing all of your energy towards someone who's not doing the same for you and who doesn't give a shit about you, what are you doing? Are they trying to manifest you back? Think about that. Are they trying to bend over backwards to see you and make you a part of their life?

Probably not. If you're listening to this and you're trying to manifest them bad, you're like, okay, you would know if they wanted you. You would know if they wanted to be with you. So get real with yourself. The only way for them to come back into your life or for anything to come into your life is when you're okay without it.

You have to be okay and willing to accept your life without this person and have the ability to fill your cup with or without them. They don't need to fill your cup for you. You have to fill your own cup. That's the only chance you have at actually getting them back into your life when you're okay without them. And the next step is

If you're really, really, really looking to manifest them back or you're looking to manifest the love of your life in general, it doesn't have to be a specific person even, but this is something that I've done. It's almost foolproof. It's worked for me on three separate occasions. It might sound a little weird, but I've also made an entirely separate episode about this called How to Manifest Your Soulmate. I'm mentioning it again. I want you to buy a card.

like an actual physical card that you would buy for a significant other if you were already in love with them and in a healthy, solid relationship with them. And I want you to write a letter to this person if they existed or they were already your partner and the love of your life.

Dear, love of my life, I appreciate you so much. I love waking up next to you. I love traveling the world with you. You're my best friend. You're my soulmate. I couldn't ask for a better partner, a better support system. You are an amazing partner to me and you make me feel like the best version of myself, etc, etc. You get the point. You can write really whatever the fuck you want. Anything that resonates with you that you would actually write to a significant other. And...

I want you to keep that letter and put it in a safe place, but then forget about it. Just write it out. Take 30 to 40 minutes, whatever amount of time you need to craft a really meaningful letter.

And then put it away, put it in a drawer, put it somewhere safe, and just move on and forget about it. Okay? And don't look back. Just know that you sent the message out as if this person already exists. Because the key to manifestation is feeling like that person already exists. And I find that this letter technique is very powerful because it's

It's essentially programming your mind to believe that you're about to give this letter to someone. You're about to give this letter to someone special. Now, the last and final step is to fully trust and surrender to the universe and just let go and start living your best life. Focus on yourself. Date yourself instead. Move on. Don't

hyper focus on anyone other than yourself. Don't cling on to this idea of, oh, I need this person. I'm miserable without them. I'm never going to find anyone. Stop feeding your brain those thoughts and constantly put the energy back into you and say, I love myself. I'm amazing. I'm going to attract the most amazing person regardless if it's this person or someone else. And I deserve the world. And if

In the meantime, I'm going to take care of me. I'm going to do me. I trust that my person's coming. I trust that they are coming. Trust is the key. You need to fundamentally trust that they are coming. And I want you to get really honest with yourself.

Are you the best version of you right now? Could you be doing more to feel better about yourself? Could you be investing more energy into you right now? Could you be doing more self-care? Could you be taking better care of your mental health? Be real. Would you date you? Would you actually date yourself?

Be your own fucking soulmate right now, okay? That's the best thing you could do in order to manifest anyone or anything into your life. Be your own soulmate. Love yourself so deeply that it does not matter if you are with someone or not, and

And that is usually when they come. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode. Be sure to check out the masterclass, Dare to Detach. Doors open December 19th, 2023. I am so excited for all of our new members who are ready to join. Send me a DM. Send me a message if you have any questions at all on Instagram. My Instagram handle is atdateyourselfinstead, just like the podcast.

I love you. Thank you as always for listening and being here. And stay tuned for new and improved episodes in the new year. I am so excited. I'm going to be doing way more video content, way more travel content, and way more dating content. It's going to be fucking incredible. I am so grateful for all of you. I hope you have an amazing, amazing holiday season. I hope you have an amazing rest of your holidays for those of you who are celebrating. And I love you.

I appreciate you. I value you. Thanks again. And stay tuned for future episodes.