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cover of episode I Can Be Strong and Be Taken Care Of

I Can Be Strong and Be Taken Care Of

2021/12/30
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
E
Esther Perel
男伴侣1
男伴侣2
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男伴侣1:难以承认自己需要被照顾,这不仅体现在性方面,也关乎他们整体的关系。他经历了父母关系破裂,父亲的暴力和母亲的离开给他留下了深刻的心理创伤,这影响了他对亲密关系的认知和处理方式。在亲密关系中,他会本能地回避冲突,并迅速得出结论说关系行不通,这源于他童年时期对家庭关系的恐惧和不安全感。他渴望情感连接,但同时又害怕被束缚和失去自我,这导致他在亲密关系中表现出矛盾和挣扎。 男伴侣2:过去一年他们的关系很紧张,彼此想更亲近,但不知道如何去做。他成长在一个对女性化男孩和同性恋男孩并不友好的环境中,这让他在自我认同方面经历了挣扎,并养成了隐藏自己真实身份的习惯。在亲密关系中,他渴望被爱和接纳,但同时又害怕被拒绝和失去,这导致他在沟通中容易变得愤怒和尖锐,并难以与伴侣进行有效的沟通。他希望关系能够成为他的避风港,但伴侣提出的问题让他感到不舒服和不安全。 Esther Perel:她引导双方探索自身的需求和恐惧,并帮助他们理解彼此的行为模式。她指出,男伴侣1 的回避行为源于他童年时期对家庭关系的恐惧和不安全感,而男伴侣2 的愤怒和尖锐则源于她对被拒绝和失去的恐惧。她鼓励他们给予自己更多肯定,并学习如何去爱和被爱。她帮助他们认识到,亲密关系中的冲突是正常的,而解决问题的关键在于有效的沟通和相互理解。她还指出,性是他们表达情感需求的一种方式,而不仅仅是生理需求。

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Chapters
A couple discusses the challenges they face in their relationship, including trust issues, abandonment fears, and the difficulty of maintaining emotional connection during conflicts.

Shownotes Transcript

As Esther says, love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are. But when one partner grows up as the child taking care of his mother is it any surprise that he experiences the romantic needs of his partner as a repeat of that same responsibility rather than an affirmation of love. 

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