Sarah Silverman on Being Wrong – and Treating Trolls with Kindness (from ReThinking with Adam Grant)
On with Kara Swisher
Deep Dive
What inspired Sarah Silverman's boldness in her comedy career?
Sarah Silverman's boldness was inspired by her father, who taught her swear words as a toddler. At three years old, she shocked adults by screaming these words in public, and their laughter and affirmation created a sense of glee and power in her. This early experience of shocking adults without facing consequences shaped her comedic style and fearlessness.
How did Sarah Silverman handle being bullied at sleepover camp?
At sleepover camp, Sarah Silverman faced bullying from a group of girls who mocked her for wearing rainbow suspenders. Instead of internalizing the ridicule, she confronted them directly, asking if they were making fun of her. This honesty disarmed the girls, and they eventually became her friends. The experience taught her the value of addressing issues openly rather than letting them fester.
What was Sarah Silverman's approach to dealing with an internet troll who insulted her?
Sarah Silverman responded to an internet troll who called her a derogatory term by engaging with compassion. She looked at his profile, noticed he suffered from severe back pain, and connected with him over their shared experience. Their conversation moved to direct messages, and she even offered to pay his medical bills. This act of kindness led to an apology from the troll and a meaningful friendship.
Why does Sarah Silverman believe comedians often become funny as a survival mechanism?
Sarah Silverman believes that 100% of comedians develop humor as a way to survive childhood. Many comedians use humor to cope with pain or adversity, but she notes that these survival mechanisms may need to be unlearned in adulthood if they no longer serve a positive purpose. She also acknowledges that some comedians fear happiness, believing it might diminish their ability to be funny.
What is Sarah Silverman's strategy for diffusing anger in confrontational situations?
Sarah Silverman diffuses anger by responding with kindness and understanding. For example, when a man accused her of damaging his car, she calmly offered to pay for the repairs and even bought him a gift. Her approach disarmed his aggression, and they ended up laughing and hugging. She believes that meeting aggression with care can change the energy of a situation and lead to positive outcomes.
What lesson did Sarah Silverman learn from her mother about love and pain?
Sarah Silverman's mother taught her that love is worth risking everything, even the pain that comes with it. After a devastating breakup, her mother advised her not to build walls to protect herself from future hurt, emphasizing that the joy of love outweighs the potential for pain. This advice helped Sarah embrace vulnerability in relationships.
What is the focus of Sarah Silverman's 'Postmortem' tour?
Sarah Silverman's 'Postmortem' tour focuses on the deaths of her father and stepmother, who passed away nine days apart. The show explores the humorous and emotional aspects of their lives and deaths, including her eulogy at her father's funeral. Despite the heavy subject matter, she finds comfort in sharing these stories and believes her parents would have appreciated the humor.
How does Sarah Silverman view the role of energy in human interactions?
Sarah Silverman believes that energy cannot be created or destroyed but can be changed. She uses this principle in her interactions, transforming negative energy from anger or pain into positive outcomes through kindness and understanding. She likens this approach to 'pro-social jujitsu,' where she redirects aggression into constructive and compassionate exchanges.
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