We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode How To Work Through The Unimaginable | What Can Go Wrong...Might

How To Work Through The Unimaginable | What Can Go Wrong...Might

2025/4/1
logo of podcast The Daily Stoic

The Daily Stoic

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
播音员
主持著名true crime播客《Crime Junkie》的播音员和创始人。
Topics
播音员:在生活中,我们会遇到各种各样的困难和挑战,例如艰难的谈话或生活中的重大改变。这时,我们可能会找各种借口来逃避,而不是想办法克服。我们可以通过积极主动的方式来应对这些挑战,例如提前安排好预约,或者选择远程方式来减少不必要的麻烦。 我们应该学习斯多葛哲学中‘预想不幸’的思想,提前做好心理准备,而不是逃避或沉溺于消极情绪。马可·奥勒留和塞内卡都练习预想不幸,以更好地应对现实中的挑战。马可·奥勒留每天早上都会预想自己在法庭上会看到各种丑恶的事情,但这并非为了让自己沮丧,而是为了让自己平静和专注,做好准备以适当的方式行动,而不是仅仅做出反应。塞内卡也练习预想不幸,不仅考虑正常情况,也考虑可能发生的情况。 马可·奥勒留说,当我们早上起床时,应该告诉自己,我们会遇到各种各样的人,他们可能有各种各样的缺点。但我们应该理解,他们之所以这样,是因为他们不懂得善恶的区别。而我们,因为理解了善与恶,所以我们知道,那些做错事的人仍然与我们相似,没有人能伤害我们或使我们陷入丑恶之中。我们不应该对我们的亲人感到愤怒或憎恨,因为我们是为合作而生的。 塞内卡说,意外会加重灾难的重量,而惊喜从未能减少一个人的痛苦。因此,我们不应该对任何事情感到意外。我们的思想应该提前考虑到所有的事情,我们不仅应该考虑事情的正常进程,还应该考虑可能发生的事情。因为生活中有什么是命运不愿意打落马下呢? ‘预想不幸’并非消极,而是为了更好地应对挑战,避免被负面情绪所困扰。通过预想各种可能性,我们可以更好地应对意外事件,减少痛苦,并使自己更加强大。

Deep Dive

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to The Daily Stoic early and ad-free right now. Just join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

I think when things are difficult or we know things are going to lead to hard conversations or changes we have to make in our life, we come up with reasons not to do them. When I think about therapy, I think, how can I make this as easy to do as possible? Whether that's like scheduling a bunch of appointments in a row, whether it's doing it remotely so I don't have to get in my car and drive somewhere. Like, I want to eliminate the excuses that

And that's where today's sponsor comes in. Talkspace is the leading virtual therapy provider and it makes getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. With Talkspace, you can easily sign up online and get paired with a licensed provider that's the right fit for your needs. Often within just 48 hours, you can also switch.

and no extra cost. You can even talk it out between sessions by sending messages to your therapist. And most insured members have a $0 copay. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get 80 bucks off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash stoic and enter promo code space 80. To match with a licensed therapist, go to Talkspace.com slash stoic and enter promo code space 80 to get 80 bucks off your first month and show your support for the show.

Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic-inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women, help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off

with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit dailystoic.com. How to work through the unimaginable. It was a terrible blow. It was the call you never wanted to get. It was an awful setback. It's been a painful few months, a dreadful few years.

This is life. It has always been thus. Marcus Aurelius lost his father at age three, his mother at age 34. He buried nine of his children. His reign was, as an ancient historian said, an unending series of troubles, floods and wars and plagues and betrayals. How did he get out of bed in the morning? How did he stay hopeful? How did he stay good? How did he not fall to pieces? How did he work through the unimaginable?

He did it in the pages of what would become meditations. He did it in conversations with Rusticus and Franto and Sextus.

Jarred unavoidably by his circumstances, Marcus Aurelius tried to get back to the rhythm of philosophy as much as he could help it. Was it easy? No. Was he superhuman? No. He wept. We know this. He wept at work. His health faltered. He sometimes felt like giving up. He questioned whether the gods were picking on him. He lost his temper.

But he did keep going. He did his best. Not perfectly, not without pain, but with resolve. And that is the task before all of us. Like Marcus, we can choose to steady ourselves in wisdom, to seek refuge in philosophy, to lean on those who guide us.

We will falter, we will doubt, we will grieve, but we will also rise again and again, not because it's easy, but because it's the only way forward.

What can go wrong might. And this is from this week's entry in the Daily Stoic Journal, 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on the Art of Living by yours truly. We call people who dwell on what might go wrong pessimists. Some even think that bad thoughts attract bad events. The Stoics found this all to be nonsense. In fact, they had a practice, pre meditatio malorum,

premeditation of evils, that specifically encouraged musing on the so-called worst-case scenario. Marcus would begin his day thinking about all the ugliness he would see on display in court, not for the purpose of working himself up, but precisely the opposite, to calm and focus himself, to be prepared to act in the proper way rather than just to react. Seneca, too, practiced meditating in advance, not only on what normally happens, but on what could happen,

Epictetus went as far as to imagine losing a loved one every time he would kiss them. The Stoics believed that all we have is on loan from fortune and that negative visualization helps increase our awareness of the unexpected. So don't shy away from this in your thoughts. Then we have two quotes today from Marcus Aurelius and from Seneca.

When you arise in the morning, tell yourself I will encounter busybodies, ingrates, egomaniacs, liars, the jealous, and cranks. They are all stricken with these afflictions because they don't know the difference between good and evil. Because I have understood the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil, I know that the wrongdoers are still akin to me, and that none can do me harm or implicate me in ugliness, nor can I be angry at my relatives and hate them, for we are made for cooperation."

Before I get to the Seneca quote, I would say that the many first times I read this quote, especially when I read it young, I focused on that first part where you list just how awful and frustrating everyone will be. And I think that's sort of the rudimentary understanding is like, look, you know, don't go into the world all rosy eyed and bushy tailed or you're going to get your heart stomped on. Right. You got to be aware. You got to be prepared. Marcus says, don't go expecting Plato's Republic.

But it's really the second part of that that's hit me more, right? Why is he doing that exercise? It's so when he's hit by it, when

When he's hit by a cheat or a liar or a person who is, you know, messing around on their spouse or, you know, when he sees somebody do something wrong, he's not surprised by it. It doesn't make him bitter and it doesn't make him write off all of humanity as a whole. You know, he says, because I know better. I know that the wrongdoers are still akin to me. And he says, and none can do me hard or implicate me in ugliness whatsoever.

nor can I be angry at my relatives or hate them. That's something I've been working on. It's like I was just dealing with someone who I really care about and they're just being not safe or smart or who I know them to be.

And I wanted to unload on them and I had to go, no, I care about this person. I should have prepared for this. I shouldn't have built them up in my head. They're a human being. They have flaws. They do the wrong thing sometimes. I'm not going to cast them out of my heart or out of my life for what they've done. And then this goes into the second Seneca quote. Being unexpected adds to the weight of a disaster. And being a surprise has never failed to increase a person's pain. For that reason, nothing should ever be unexpected by us.

Our minds should be sent out in advance to all the things, and we shouldn't just consider the normal course of things, but what could actually happen. For is there anything in life that fortune won't knock off its high horse if it pleases her?

I have the Prima Tosha Malorum coin here on my desk. And I just look at it. I go, look, look, Murphy's law is real, man. Things can go sideways fast. You know, Seneca says the only unforgivable thing for a general to say is I did not think it would happen. So, of course, positive visualization is thinking of all the good things that can happen. You can succeed. You can break through. You can make it. If it's humanly possible, no, you can do it, Marcus says. The same time,

The law of attraction is not real. If you think about negative things, you don't attract negative things. You actually make yourself more prepared to wrestle with and deal with and conquer those difficult things. And that is why we do our premeditatio malorum. That is why we think of all the things that can happen. That's why we meditate on the people we're likely to meet so that they can't drag us down. They can't implicate us in ugliness and they can't make us unhappy.

Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple of years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it. And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.

If you like The Daily Stoic and thanks for listening, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. And before you go, would you tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey on wondery.com slash survey. Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop?

From Wondery and At Will Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to, like, get other people to do it. And the 2019 movie adaptation of Catastrophe.

Cats. Like, if I'm watching the dancing and I'm noticing the feet aren't touching the ground, there's something wrong with the movie. Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery+. Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus.