Girl Chat w/ Fi: Dating, Ozempic, New Job & Austin Life
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This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. Queens, welcome back to a Girl Chat episode. Fi? I'm back. Hi.

It's been like two months. I'm so excited. We were catching up before. Yeah, we were. Lots of tea was spilled off the mic. Yes. I mean, yeah, there's actually some things I can't tell you guys, believe it or not. Like in the last episode, I literally told them how I shout myself. That'll happen. It's really nice to have you back. I've been really lonely. I was just happy to be back. I was telling Fi, I have, and I actually haven't even told them this. I've cancelled

Like a lot of my guest interviews coming up just to be for real and not because any of them were like they were all amazing and it was really hard to do actually because I was like I really do want to talk to these people. But I've just been in a headspace where I can't. I can't. You know Carson my friend who did IVF. She put it really well to me yesterday that.

it feels like your entire life is on pause because you're living in this like countdown. Yeah. There's just dates of everything and like all the medicine every day. I'm sure you feel like crap. It's like, I never ending. Like even now leading up to the embryo transfer, I thought I was this, I thought I was close. I can't focus on anything else. Like it's consuming me because it's such an,

intense process you like can't think of anything else you know no it's like everything that i don't care yeah like i'm i'm so happy you're here and i care about your updates but like to prep and research someone and talk about like candles and artificial whatever it's even like rude you're just like i literally can't i just can't fit it in my head yeah but anyway where do we even begin i know a lot's been going on i mean i saw you what like a week ago yeah what did we do we got breakfast we got breakfast where do you want to start should we talk career

personal. Do you still live in Austin? Like that's been such a big question. Like what's the update? Okay. So yes, I am still in Austin. I have been kind of like head down studying the last, literally I realized since like Christmas and the holidays and stuff, I like literally have hardly been

on social or doing anything. I've been studying. I'm getting my real estate license. An academic queen. Yes. It's actually a lot of work. Texas is 180 hours of coursework to learn. And then there's two exams at the end. Actually, maybe more than that. Maybe three exams. Um,

But I've been taking all the courses and I've done four out of the six course tests. And I do like one a week. And pretty much every day I just study for like five hours. Well, it's like an example of something you're learning. Okay, so the last...

course I did was all about real estate finance. So it was all about mortgages. And it's funny because I was learning all about like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. And like my mom worked at Fannie Mae for 35 years. And I quite literally never knew. I mean, she worked in like the creative graphic art department, but I had no idea what Fannie Mae did for like my entire life. And now I know. So wait, what is Fannie Mae? It's a mortgage company. What's a secondary mortgage company?

and they like buy loans and sell them. - Can I tell you something? This entire time that I knew your mom worked with Fannie Mae, I thought it was a makeup company. Entire time. - Really? - Yeah. You know those like- - Sounds like, yes. - Pyramid scheme makeup companies that- - You thought Cathy worked at a pyramid scheme? - Yes.

I know what you're thinking of. She actually did do one of those for like a week and she absolutely hated it. Oh my God, I can't believe I thought that. Yeah, it's a mortgage, secondary mortgage. So have you passed the test yet? So I've taken, so every course is 30 hours long. Okay. So I pretty much study Monday through Sunday, like five hours a day. Oh my God. Yeah, so six days a week, five hours a day. Like after this, I'm going to go study all the rest of the day. And then at the end of the week, I take a test.

It's like 60 questions. It's like on video. I'm being proctored. So like there's someone on the other end watching me take it. It's like very intense. I didn't think it was gonna be that intense. But yeah, so I've done, I've passed all four, four of the six. So I have two more. Oh my God. And then I'm gonna take a little break when I go on a little trip.

And then I'm going to come back and go take my finals. So I'm hoping to be licensed by the end of February, if not first week of March is my goal. So exciting, dude. And then I've already found a brokerage and a team that I'm going to join. I'm actually going tomorrow to meet the whole team and start like kind of shadowing them and getting to know everybody. So yeah.

It's really exciting. Will you like bop around to different houses? I'm sure at the beginning, I'll probably like go to open houses and like listings with them. Yeah. Until I'm licensed, like I cannot do...

anything really besides just like shadow and like watch them but like that's what I'm excited to do like and I really want to as much as I'm learning from like all the courses and stuff I think being there and watching someone and like really like hands-on is like how I learn best so I feel like it's such a cool time to join Austin real estate because everyone's moving from LA right now yeah like a lot of people yeah it's a great market to be in and it's just completely new yeah like it truly I will say

Yeah. As much as like I'm in a very, I'm feeling very optimistic today. It comes in waves. Like there are some days where I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, because it's just like entirely new and it's scary. And yeah, it's like, it's just something completely new that I knew nothing about until a couple of weeks ago when I started studying. So it's really intimidating to

to try something completely new and out of your comfort zone, but also I'm like, what do I have to lose? - I think it's such a great thing. - It's a challenge and it's cool. - I think it's so cool. And if you think about your work history, I mean, you were with me and then before that you were with a celebrity and like always assisting. And what I think is really cool about this

is once you have your license, once you're out there doing your thing, you're like your own boss, right? I'm definitely looking forward to that and just having a little more like flexibility in my day and being able to go on trips or just like own my life a little more, which no shade to you. But when you're an assistant, anyone who's any kind of a personal assistant or executive assistant, like you get it, like your principal, right?

as a lot of people call it, like their life is kind of your life. That's just the way it is. Like that's how in tune, if you are a good assistant, totally your life's their life's your life. So I think it was like the right time for you to do this. Just like how everything played out. Yeah. That too. Just between like all the changes that happened at once. It's like definitely a lot.

but it feels like a really fresh start and like yeah I feel very good going into this year yeah your 2025 is like a full 360 it's funny we just had like my phone reminded me of like our move like what a week ago a year a year ago we moved here almost a year ago right over a year ago it was January 22nd I think yeah

Yeah, I got all these reminders on my phone. So crazy because I won't go into detail, but I was just in a completely different time of my life during that. And it's just so wild. It's really exciting because I'm like, I can't.

I can't imagine what 2026 January is going to be like. You know what I mean? Like my life could look completely different then. I know. So it's exciting. But that's what I've been doing. I'm proud of you. Thank you. That's really cool. It's been a lot of work. Like it really has. I know a bunch of people like have their license like in other states and they were all like, oh, it's like a breeze. And then I look it up and like Maryland's like 60 hours. Texas is 160. I'm like, so when I talk to people, they're like, yeah, it took me like a month. And then I look at stuff here and they're like, oh, like four to six months. I'm like,

But everyone I tell, like people in my real life who are asking me like, what's V doing now when I say real estate? They're all like, oh, that makes so much sense. Everyone that I've told is like, oh, you're going to be so good at it. Like I'm flattered. Like, thank you. But like, it's definitely like you're hard on yourself. Like, I'm like, am I? Yeah. You have the right personality, the right vibe. Like you make people feel secure, you know? Yeah. I think that's all good. I think the part that's intimidating to me is like the actual like selling of it, like sales, like.

I am not. Scary. Yeah. Like I know people that are very good at that. Not my vibe. Like a little more pushy. Yeah. Like I'm not, which is funny. I've been watching like all the real estate shows. That's like my, that's what I do at night. So I study during the day and then at night I watch like Selling Sunset and like Owning Manhattan.

Manhattan and selling the city. No, it really does. Except it's like very drama, lots of drama. But like even on there, like they're so convincing in the way, like when they're like showing like a buyer a listing, they're like just so convincing. They're like, oh, well, you're never going to find like, you know, 16 foot ceilings in this zip code for under X, Y, and Z. And the buyer's like, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know if I can say that to someone. I'd be like,

No pressure. No, you're going to have to get a little hard. I'm going to find a happy medium. But yeah.

I'm so proud of you. So that's what I've been doing. Oh, do you want me to give you an update on my job? Yes. Like, should I give an update? Yeah, what's your job? What's happening? Podcast is podcasting. A lot of solos, a lot of girl chats. I'm kind of evolving out of the pure interview style. Although I have a really cool guest coming that I, I mean, I don't even know how to put into words how crazy. It's like not a normal pal guest.

Not at all. It's more in the celebrity realm. Yeah. And I would also say she...

is in the most talked about news story probably of 2024 and 2025 so i'm just gonna leave it at that but fee was a huge part of me getting connected it's a crazy story that we will probably divulge in our next girl chat yeah but it's crazy i am working less than i've ever worked in my life in my adult career and you know how crazy we used to work like non-fucking-stop now i'm in the office

once, maybe twice a week. I mean, as I just said with IVF, I can't really focus on it the way I used to. I'm actually going on a Colorado trip this week for 10 days. It's going to be lovely. I know. I was a bit worried I wouldn't be able to go because I'm

had to go to the doctor and get my embryo transfer plan yeah i thought he was gonna be like no you need to be here for appointments but it's actually like my only last little break window do it and then i get back and i start pills patches suppositories and injections yeah wow yep that's a lot i know it feels like i'm so close but so far at the same time you know why do you have to use suppositories it's estrogen

And I have to put it up my vag. So interesting, right? Like I am a full blown science experiment. They were like, you can come in and we'll draw with Sharpies on your butt to show your husband where to put the shots in. And I'm like, I'm literally a science experiment. Like I'm an animal. Wow. I know. I was low key like a little...

I wanted the embryo to be able to be put in sooner than it is. I'm not saying when because I don't want people to like. But yeah, I still have to wait, but it's okay. Colorado is my last hurrah. That'll be nice though. I know. And Greg's joining me and whatever. He's not going. It's going the whole time. He's going to join me in Aspen. Veil is a girl's trip. Aspen, Greg, Valentine's Day vibes. Cute. I kind of want to bring Arnold. Are you skiing? Oh my God. I know he would just love it.

He needs some skis. Four skis. I wish I knew how to ski. Yeah, it's funny. I mean, I'm not a winter sports girl. I know. I'm not a sports girl. You might be if you tried it, though. I tried it once and I like literally had the flu and I was like puking down the hill. You should come visit me. You'll visit me this summer in Aspen, right? Yes. But there's no snow then, right? We're doing a whole month there, you guys. Cute. Maybe I'll take you up on that. You should. I definitely, I've never been. I've never.

I know we would have great time. Summer is honestly better there. It's like so wholesome. It's very baby friendly. There's strollers everywhere. Perfect. I know not that either of us have babies, but okay. So you said you were going on a trip. I know what that means, but I don't want to share too much. Oh, you're being demure. I'm trying. I get it. Yeah. I'm going to go visit a friend.

A couple friends. I am visiting friends. My friend is there. Okay. My friend from college is there. I'm going to visit a friend in a few weeks from college. No, that is absolutely not. That is such a lie. Like, I'm not sitting here and accepting that. I am. I have been dating.

That's what I'm going to say. Like multiple people or one? I've been dating. I don't want to talk about it yet. Really? Yeah. I don't want to get ahead of myself. It's fresh. Yeah. It is fresh. I get that. You want to keep it private. Yeah. I feel like in my last relationship, I shared it a little too soon. Yeah, but that probably wasn't the reason it didn't end well. Yeah, I mean, there was a lot of stuff with that. No. But yeah, but I'm doing good with that. And I'm happy. And...

We'll see. Okay, let's talk then more abstractly about like how you view diversity

and relationships like now, like meeting new people, what like red flags, green flags, like coming out of, I mean, cause the last time they heard from you, it was like pretty recent from your breakup. So like what has changed in the way you like go into the romantic world? Good question. So I wanted to bring this up actually. And we were talking about before we hopped on the mics, the call her daddy, Matt James, Rachel Kirkconnell interview.

I still have no idea who either of those people are. Okay, so context. Matt James was on The Bachelor. Okay. And Rachel was on his season, and she ended up winning. And they've been together ever since. It's been like four years. Oh, I thought it was new. No, it's been like four years, yeah. Oh. But there was like a lot of drama. And I will say, like, I'm not a Bachelor, Bachelorette, girly, but like I understand pop culture, and like I kind of stay up to date with that stuff. So I've always known like from that aspect. But they've been together like four years. At the beginning, there was like a couple –

There's like a few different things that they like kind of broke up and then got back together. Whatever. They've been back together since. And a few weeks ago or like two weeks ago, maybe less, they were on a trip in like Tokyo. And then Matt James out of nowhere posted at like 6 a.m. I remember seeing it on my feed. I was like, what the heck? A breakup post. And it's like a photo of him and Rachel together.

meeting on The Bachelor, like her getting out of the car, like that scene. And him just being like, it was like a really weird caption with it and whatever. Saying like, we broke up. Yeah, basically. And like a very religious caption just saying like,

It was very strange. Like, everyone thought he got hacked. Like, that's how strange it was. Oh. And then she just, like, didn't post anything and, like, address it at all. So all that being said, she went on Call Her Daddy last week, I think the episode came out, and it is crazy. So the reason I'm bringing this up, this girl, like, reiterating her experience through this relationship, literally –

I felt so seen. I know a lot of women did. Like, it's like my whole TikTok now is like, or was last week, girls being like, I went through this. Just like such a similar power dynamic in a relationship and very much one kind of narcissistic avoidant person versus a very anxiously attached person. Yeah. And it just showed like, it was so weird her

Like explaining her experience because I was like, oh my God, that is exactly what I went through. And it's funny, like Tokyo is like her favorite place in the world. And like they're on this vacation in Tokyo. And of course, like that's where it happens. Because like in a lot of relationships where there tends to be like kind of a narcissist or something, like it's always on your birthday that they –

really kind of like struggle. Yeah. Like whenever it's like, I don't want to go into too much detail. I'd be like, it's quite literally exactly what I went through last year when I was in Italy on my birthday. And like, it's almost like when eyes are on you there, that's when they're the most upset.

And oh, God. I won't go into too much detail. You guys should watch it. That was really – you should watch it. It was really good. So the breakup post was like out of nowhere. Like the reason they broke up, they were – she was looking for – he does food reviews. They do restaurant reviews together. Okay. And I guess like all day she had been like looking for a restaurant to do and she like couldn't find a good one or something. And then she took him to one and they ended up getting in like a blow-up fight about –

or something about this restaurant and her thinking it wasn't good enough and that he wasn't going to like it. And it made me, it was literally, it took me back to the day I was in the Amalfi Coast.

And I was supposed to go on a boat for my birthday and the boat got canceled and I had planned everything and I had felt all this responsibility for like making sure it went perfect and that like he had a great experience. And like literally I'm – and boat got canceled and I'm standing on the – like by the dock like sobbing. And he was like, what is – why are you acting so crazy? Like what is this? And I like couldn't even put into words. And she said the same thing. She was like they got in this fight over like a restaurant. He was like, you're being crazy. Like this isn't that big of a deal. But she felt –

she felt so much pressure on her to like pick the perfect thing for him. And it's because when you're so anxiously attached, you think something as simple as him hating the restaurant that you pick is like going to be a reason he breaks up with you. And it was like, it was a bigger picture than that, but like it was like, and it really just like something clicked to me when I heard that. I was like, oh my gosh, like it really, it's the silliest things like that. But like, that's

Exactly what I went through. And it was just so crazy. But the reason I brought that all up is because since then, I have really, really tried to like work on like owning my own stuff, but also learning from that experience and not repeating that kind of behavior and not repeating.

for people with similar qualities to that kind of person. Who like bring out the anxiety in you. Yeah. Yeah. And someone who just like makes you feel like, I've talked about this before, like makes you feel like you have to be perfect or they're going to leave. Yeah. It's like the worst feeling ever.

Right, which is almost like – You're walking on eggshells. You're probably instinctually attracted to that because you're like, I want to prove to this person. Yes, yes. I do that too. I'm like, I want to show them that I'm perfect or whatever. But you're kind of like catching yourself in that habit and going the other direction. It's like such a weird power dynamic. And like even people – I remember people were commenting like, it's so weird. She like seemed almost like his assistant, like picking these restaurants for him to make content at. And like it just was so –

oh, God, it really brought it back for me. It was, like, really traumatizing. But it made me realize, like, how much I think I've already kind of grown from that. Yeah. And the fact that I can even see it now and acknowledge it is huge. Yeah. And I just know if I ever start to get that kind of gut feeling again, like, this feels familiar, like, shut it down. Yeah, you're out. It is not right for me. ♪♪

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I feel like a lot of women, I'm thinking of like Rachel, Paige DeSorbo, Molly Mae. Like all these people going through breakups right now seems to be such a pattern that women have to like,

constantly prove themselves or show up for the man and kind of be the like yeah i don't know it's it's almost like roles have reversed a little bit in society lately where women are like providing all of these things yeah it's like a lot of pressure yeah you know yeah i feel like i'm also seeing it through a lens of what i'm going through right now and i'm like i don't understand how women are expected to continue to show up at the workplace take care of kids like it's

I mean, if this is my experience with IVF, imagine like pregnancy and like even trying for a baby is all consuming. Like all these things we have to go through and then provide for our partners at the same time. It's just like a wild experience. It's a lot. A lot is expected of women. There's a lot of

pressure there's a lot of pressure like why do we have to be so perfect i think we inflict a lot of it on ourselves though i really do yeah i do too i mean there's a lot of societal pressure there is a lot of pressure from your partner but i also think just as women we do it even over to ourselves and it's probably generational right because we watch our moms do it yeah or like we're told we're supposed to act that way yeah but yeah a lot of it's on ourselves as well

The anxiety being so, I'm so hard on myself. That's been such a big realization I've had through IVF. I have zero compassion for myself. Yeah. And so much for other people. Yeah. Like what? I always say like if you would imagine talking to your friend the way you talk to yourself. No, I'm like, oh my God, I would have no friends. Yeah. Like it'd be awful, right? You would never. So I try to remind myself that. And yeah, just I think

I've learned I've been listening to the Mel Robbins let them book. Yeah, so good. I know you've been reading it too. Yeah, if you finish I kind of stopped but I got the audible. I know I will because I like walking and listening and it's her it's her and she has the best voice. Yeah, no, it's amazing. It's like mom just like giving me advice. But that too, I think really just like learning the let them theory and also like you can't change people.

I've noticed that too. And I will take full responsibility. Like my last relationship, I definitely tried to change my ex-boyfriend a million times. Oh my God, everything he did would piss me off. And I had a comment about it. And finally I was like, okay, Fiona, instead of like trying to mold someone into the person you want to be,

Maybe like take a step back and the next time you date, try to like find someone that you actually like. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds so awful. I'm like, no one's perfect, but you cannot change someone. And I'm sorry if they start to change for you, they will hold it against you because I went through that too. Yeah. And then that's true. Then it's like double over because they've like kind of changed, but then they like blame you because they don't like who they've become with. And they use it as like proof. Yeah, that's so true. And it's and people like the Molly Mae, Tommy, um,

Molly May documentary wasn't his documentary. But like even that, it's like she stuck around for so long and like tried to make it work and tried to make it work and tried to make them change. And like you can't. No. You really can't. So I think I've learned that too. Like you can't change people. And instead of just trying to meet someone and like morph them into who I want them to be, like I need to try to find someone that we align a lot more just naturally. I know you don't want to go in detail, but like meeting –

someone you really like yeah how do you know that your boxes are being checked and then how do you know what to let go of like because no one's perfect right like i remember the first conversation we had about like people you were dating yeah and they were like we were talking about like

different things. And then there was this one thing that we were like, is that bad? Is that good? Like, how do you know what to like, let go of? For everyone, it's different. I think just like the way you were, your upbringing and like kind of the traumas you have and the stuff, I think that is huge. I need someone that has gone through some kind of like had a similar upbringing to me in a way. My parents are divorced. I witnessed that from a young age.

you know, they're friendly now and stuff. But like it, that shaped a lot of my childhood and a lot of the way I see the world. And like, I think having that in common with someone, I realized I, all of my exes,

all had like the perfect family dynamic and it was so not that any family's perfect but like they had a you know their parents were together yeah and I always lean towards these relationships because to me it was what I didn't have growing up and I was like oh they have the family and the cousins and they all love each other and all stuff and it like drew me in because it was not what I had yeah I thought that's what I wanted but then unfortunately like once

you know, the relationship got real and like we had conflict and stuff, I would be like, you can't see how like the angle I'm coming from. And they couldn't. And I couldn't see the angle they were coming from. And I realized like that is a big thing for me. Like I need someone who gets it and has been there. So that's one thing. I think like getting to know someone also, I mean, I'm 29 now, but like

I'm at the age now, like, when I'm on a date, we don't need to, like, trauma dump. But we need to be, like, honest and real from the beginning. And, like, I'm done trying to just, like, be perfect and impress you. Like, I want to talk, like, what is your family dynamic? Like, what? Like, I need to know that stuff because I realize how important it is to me in a way. Or just like I said, like, how it really shapes you. Yeah. So I think that's one big thing. Mm-hmm.

I like that. Just asking upfront questions. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's really important. Are you also being like, my goal in life is to be married and have kids? Yeah. I think kind of going along with that, I think that's super important to be upfront about. I mean, you know, my ex, like we had a very fun kind of relationship from the beginning. It was going out and like we party a lot and like we were young and it wasn't like,

We weren't in that period yet. And like, I don't think we ever really even had those serious conversations. It kind of just was like, we're together. And like, so we're going to get married. Right. And we never really had those like, what do you want? It was kind of just like, well, we're both doing this. Right. And like now I'm like, oh, no, I need to like sit down and be like, you want this. Right. Like, is this a goal of you? Because it's not for everyone. I mean, and that's fine, too. But like it is for me. Yeah. So I think that's really important. General manners. Yeah.

I think finding someone who is empathetic is like huge to me. I'm very empathetic and I think I've realized in the past like I fill up other people's cups and like I need someone that's going to be helping fill up my cup too. Yeah. So empathy is huge. Yeah, just like

traits like that. Yeah. And also on the family front, what I've realized too is I think I've always put a lot of emphasis on wanting like a beautiful, close family because I didn't have that. And I think what I've realized is we get to build that ourselves and we're just not there yet. Like we're so close. But when we have kids, we get to kind of create the family we always wanted. Yeah. You know, like

I feel like so often I feel disappointed. You know, you and I have shared that over the years, like disappointed in the way that things go at like holidays or feeling like people didn't show up for me a certain way or whatever it is. And I'm like, dude, you get to do that for your kids and create this like beautiful family unit that you've always wanted. Yeah. And that's like very motivating to me. And you get to do it with the partner that you choose. Yeah. Which is really cool. Yeah. So you're not in a relationship? No, I'm not in a relationship. Okay. Yeah.

No, no. I thought maybe you would be. No. I wasn't sure. No. Should we answer some questions? Sure. Is Fee still taking semaglutide or just maintaining now? She looks fab. Oh, thank you. I am still on it. I actually recently switched providers that I was with because the one I was with, which I really liked from the beginning. They're like a local Austin one.

It was just like getting expensive. It was pretty expensive to begin with, but it was legit and it was local and like I liked the program they had. And so I was like, look, I was really scared, honestly, when I first started it. And I was like, I want something legit and I want to like talk to a doctor whenever I have questions and stuff. So I signed up with the program here and I was with them the last –

I guess like six or eight months, nine months that I did it. But it was pretty expensive. And so I kind of asked around to some friends I knew that were on it and they recommended another program. So I recently started with them and it's been good. It's a little bit cheaper, a little more manageable, but like still legit. I have been lowering my dose. And so the goal for me is

I would like to stay on a maintenance dose of some sort. Maybe like instead of every week doing it, it's like every other week and it's like a low dose. But for me personally, it just like the mental aspect and the food noise aspect has completely just really changed my life. And I can't imagine going back to

Yeah.

And I know people have their own feelings about it, but I know what feels good and I know what works for me. And yeah, so I am still on it. Yeah, I think that sounds like a good method. Yeah. I mean... But I'm not actively like trying. Like I will say like I've lost kind of the weight I was looking to lose. I'm in a good place now. Like I also...

I get a lot of questions. I get DMs about this a lot. Like I will say at the beginning, there were months where I really couldn't work out. I had very little appetite. Like I will say that I probably didn't do it the healthiest way at the beginning. But now that my body has like really adjusted to it, like I eat

very normally I eat smaller portions but like I eat very normally I work out I lift again like I've been I have the energy back that like I feel normal again so I'm like to me I'm healthy everything's good yeah I'm not binging like I think that was an unhealthy habit that I was doing before you know I'm not binging I'm not the food noise isn't like out of control so yeah

I'll probably stay on it. Sounds like you're going about it the right way. Long term. Yeah. When I was like pulling old photos of us for the Q&A and I was going back, it's just so crazy. I have this crazy photo. Wait, can I show this to you? Yeah. Like I was pulling from your birthday in Laguna and I was like, oh my God, she looks completely different. Yes. And like, I never want to shame anyone or even myself. Like, look at this was exactly a year apart, like to the day.

In the same outfit. Let me see. That was me at training, mate, in January. It's actually a crazy photo. It's like your arms look really different. To me, like, I just look so much less inflamed. Yeah. Like, even my face. Like, I've never been, like, diagnosed with PCOS or anything. Like, I know a ton of girls on PCOS take it and, like, have found. But, like, I look at photos of my face and, like, I was just so –

round and puffy. Like I really was so puffy and inflamed all the time. And I was doing the workouts and I was eating clean and I really was doing everything. And it just... Dr. Tina was saying how it's so good for your gut health. That too. I always had crazy gut issues and like in bad, like, oh, just really. And like since being on it, I feel so much better. So...

Yeah, I definitely lost some weight, but I feel good and I feel –

honestly the most confident I've felt in a long time especially after kind of like the last few months I had had like I'm single and like I want to feel good and I do I feel like you're going about it in such a healthy way thank you oh I like your little L necklace I changed my name legally you did yeah oh my gosh yeah congrats Llewellyn Llewekia wow I know I got rid of my middle name yeah I mean it's still in the judge's hands but it's underway but now I put Llewekia on everything wow funny yeah

I just wanted to do it. That's cute. That's ready. And I like am attached to my last name, but I was kind of like, well, I'll just make it my middle name. Yeah. But like I want to have his last name, you know? Yeah. Are you staying in Austin? I feel like we answered that. I just signed my lease for another year because I'm joining that real estate team here. I'm definitely at least going to be here another year. Oh, how are you liking ballet? They want to start. This person wants to start. Yeah.

So yeah, that was like really, really random of me one day last year. I was like, I need a hobby. And so I looked up adult ballet and there's a place called Ballet Austin downtown. It's like right near my house. And yeah, it's a six week program, like beginner, beginner, adult ballet classes once a week, every Wednesday evening. And it's been good. I've done three classes. I have three more and I really like it. I'll probably keep doing it.

it's just to be honest it's funny the way that you used to talk about riding yeah respect riding it's like time that you can't be on your phone and like you really have to be like as much as it's like physical like it's so mental like you really have to be there you have to know what you're doing and ballet is the same way like when they're teaching the combinations like it makes me realize how like focused I am it's hard to memorize right yeah yeah and it just and just like learning all the new terminology and just I also like it because it's

an act a physical activity but it's like the first physical activity I think I've done in a long time that I'm not doing for aesthetics yes like to exercise like I genuinely am doing it because it feels nice and like it's like you're learning a new skill yeah so I really like it I highly recommend it's like I said it's a six-week program so I'll probably continue it but it's all like

It's all women in my class, like around my age. There was this girl next to me. She had a really cute little leotard on. And I started chatting with her. And she was like, how old are you? I was like, I'm 29. She was like, what? And I was like, how old are you? She's like, I'm 21. I was like, oh, my God. She was like, I thought you were my age. And I was like, oh.

Oh, okay. Sorry that I'm not. Thank you. She's like, I was like, I'm almost, I'm turning 30 this year. She was like, no way. And she's like, you do not look 30, which I was like, is that good? Thank you. But also she was like, I thought you were at my age. And then I was like, is everyone in here like 21? It was really funny. But I was like, thank you. No, they can't all be 21. It was like,

It was like – it's definitely like girls my age, like mid to upper 20s. It's just so funny though because the whole class – I'm like, so everyone here like end of last year was like, I need a hobby. Like I have no fashion. We're all going through a mental breakdown. But it is really funny because it's just like adults all dressed in like leotards and like tights. So cute. And you feel very –

I can't describe it. Childlike? Yeah. Like very childlike. Like you're all in your little tights and your little ballet flats. So cute. And it's like kind of goofy, but... Are you going to have a recital? That I can come? They haven't said anything, but like... You're like, I'm looking for things. Honestly, it's funny. I was actually catching up with my dad last night and he was asking me about it and he was like, so funny because you grew up doing ballet. He goes, but every recital...

You would cry and I wouldn't go. I hated recitals growing up. I could see that for you. I did not like everyone looking at me. Yeah. I did not like the attention. So like, honestly, if there is a recital, I will probably do it. You should. I feel like that would be good for me. For your inner child. Yeah. That's funny you say that. I would hate them too. I did them anyway, but I hated them. Yeah. It's like something...

I can't even describe it. It's like this. It's like almost it's like social anxiety. I don't know. It's something like being. It's scary. That. Yeah. So but I would do it like I was thinking if I kept it up, if I keep this up through the year, like should I do a little nutcracker cameo? Like I honestly might. I think I'll come. I'll be like.

With flowers at the end. Me with like a bunch of toddlers. It's like my horse show that I did, I guess. Remember? And I got my ribbons and I was like, okay, I'm never going to do that again. But I was so fun. Yeah, I think I would. So it's been good. Yeah. Definitely healing my inner child. I love that for you. I'm so excited. Thank you. That's so cute. I mean, I feel the exact same way about horse riding. How's your Western riding going? It's good. How's Red? He's great. It's been hard for me to get out there recently. I just don't know. I don't know what it is. I think I'm in like

protection mode a little bit but i went a couple days ago and i rode golden boy golden boy is like the old pony horse the barbie horse at the barn but he is so slow and gentle and i've never seen him do anything wrong yeah that i just feel really comfortable getting on him yeah and like red is an amazing horse he's not a beginner horse like you have to be paying attention and like he spooks sometimes and yeah

Things happen with him. So love him to death. I'm going to actually write him Wednesday. And writing still brings me so much joy. But like it's three hours out of my day. Yeah. And yeah, I'm just mentally kind of struggling to like put, you know, me and my therapist said,

She likes to use the metaphor of spoons. Let's say you have 10 spoons in your day. You have to decide where you put those spoons. Like how many spoons do you want to give to your studying? How many do you want to give to your friends? How many do you want to give to ballet? Whatever. For me, I feel like my spoons have been like cut in half. And I'm like, my bandwidth is way shorter. So like- Gotta be a little more selective where you put your spoons. Kind of, yeah. And I feel really guilty about it, but I'm like struggling a little bit with the writing.

But I'm like, as long as I go once a week and I'm still loving it. And also, you know me, I have a hard time not like putting pressure on myself to like be amazing. I know you're very like all in. Yes. Or not. So I see that. So if I'm not like fucking competing and flying around barrels, I'm like, well, why are you even going? And I need to get out of that. It doesn't need to be like that. No, I could just be vibing. And did you see me writing him the other day? I did. I was having a lot of fun. I was like, good. Good.

So it's good. A lot of people are asking us about our friendship now that we don't work together. And I think that's a great question. And I have an answer. I'll let you go first. Should I go first? Yeah. I love it. It is nice. I like it a lot more. Yeah. I seriously, I've actually been wanting to say this to you on our coffee dates, but I just was like, that's weird for you to say. I feel so much more relaxed now.

Yeah. Now. And I feel like when I'm with you, I can genuinely just be a girl. Yeah. Like I'm like, oh my God, I can literally just talk to her about dating and like tell her my updates and I don't have to be like, oh, but we have this thing going on and oh, we have to do this. And oh, I have to talk to her about this. Like, I feel like I can just like chill.

If you're anything like me, you need to have comfortable underwear options. I am not an underwear fan and I need things that blend in, feel smooth and comfortable and I don't even notice. And that's why I always grab for my skims. It's at the top of my drawer. I literally only wear skims, underwear and bras and I'm absolutely obsessed. I personally love the fits everybody triangle bralette. It's so easy to wear.

It is perfect under a t-shirt. You don't even notice it. I have the perfect nude color and it just, I love the way it looks. It's so flattering and lifting, but so freaking comfortable at the same time. I also love the scoop bralette. It just depends on the look I'm going for that day. And then I also have the cheeky briefs, the high-waisted thong, depending on the look I'm going for. I've even worn see-through dresses with the cheeky brief underneath and it's such a good look.

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You guys know me, I drink so much water and I'm so concerned with the purity and health of that water. I don't think many people realize, but three out of four homes in America have harmful contaminants in its tap water, according to the Environmental Working Group.

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we were doing the absolute most. Oh, I literally think back to like last year and like, cause like now I've just been like January, I was home studying all month. Like I really did not do much. And like, yeah, like slept, you know, I would sleep in and go on my walk and just study all day. And like, I was getting stuff done, but I sleep in now too, by the way. I know. So crazy. Like what? I was thinking about Valentine's day last year. We were flying to London for the bloom. And I was just like, holy shit. Like photo shoot, meet and greet. The amount. Oh my

And we had literally just moved to Austin, Texas. And we were like, I know, let's get on a plane to London. And we went to LA right around. Like we were so intense and everything. I think we both just like wanted to be the best and do the most. And if like our calendar was not filled to the brim every day, it was like we weren't doing enough. Yeah. And oh my gosh, we were both. Full blown masculine era. Yeah. Like full blown. And it was just, it was a lot. It was a lot.

I have a memory of London, us sitting in a cafe after the event. Yeah. And just like full dissociated, ears ringing. Like, remember I would just like cry sometimes because I was so overwhelmed. I don't think people realize this. Like, yes, Greg is my business partner and like was by my side for a lot of this shit. But like, Greg is a man. Yeah. And at the end of the day,

men have limits and boundaries. Women are just like, I felt like I was on a rocket ship and I'm like saying yes to everything. And even that event in London, like, I mean, how many girls was that? 300 girls, whatever, like you couldn't even see the end of the line. I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm nervous, but I just did it anyway. That was the thing. It was like, do it anyway, do it anyway, do it anyway. And I'm meeting all these people. They all want to talk to you too, because you like-

were by my side for literally everything. And keep in mind, when I'm doing this meet and greet, like, it's scary. I'm just a girl. Like, I'm just a human being. It's a lot. Well, also, a lot of it's, like, very emotional. It's a lot of emotion. A lot of girls coming and, like, crying. Yeah, saying these crazy stories. It's beautiful and it's amazing, but it is so taxing. It's so intense. Did you see in the Molly Mae documentary when she had her... Did that not? I literally... Did that not... Did that not trigger you? I was gonna say, I don't know if I want to say it triggered me, but

holy shit. Like I was like, it was so, and like, not that you weren't so grateful for every person that ever came. And it was like, it was always such a cool experience and opportunity, but like,

When she like goes behind the curtain and is like literally having a mental breakdown because she's like, I can't take a picture and say hi to everyone, but I feel like I have to because everyone came to see me and she's like having a mental breakdown. I was like, oh my, it was like a flashback. It was you and me, like you comforting me, me crying. Like it was a lot. I was thinking about the bodega event, like us getting out of the Uber. Like, yeah, it was a lot. This probably sounds so crazy, but when you're in it, it is the weirdest feeling. And like,

Well, you don't want to let anyone down. No. And again, I think you and I are both very like empathetic and both really... Yeah. And I'm not trying to drag you, Greg, but like to Greg, he's just like, it's fine. Like you can't get to meet everyone. Like that's just the way it is. Like you're doing a great job. Like just have fun. And you're like, it is so much deeper than that. And like I am feeling, I think you and I both also like feel other people's emotions. You know what I mean? Like that's a huge part of it too. I think we both...

like take in other people's energy so by the end of those events it was like crazy holy shit and we did them all the time yeah like I did so many of them it was a lot and I remember at the London event you and me saying hi to everyone like whatever I remember looking over and Greg and Leo were in the corner like doing absolutely nothing like on their phones I was like oh

yeah they don't get it yeah but even outside of that like i remember being at the bloom like i was thinking about la and how like i really had no friends outside of you and i was like of course not like people would ask me to hang out and i was always at the office always busy we were very dependent on each other and we were very dependent like on bloom and our work dynamic

Yeah, for sure. It was our whole life. It really was. So I remember my morning routine, 5 a.m. wake up, roll out of bed, Gold's Gym, work out for an hour and a half like a maniac, go home, get to the office, go, go. Like literally by the 30-minute increment was something different. Yep. I'm exhausted thinking about it. Seriously. It feels like another life. It really does. I couldn't do it now. Yeah. Like if you asked me to build Bloom again, I couldn't do it. Yeah. It...

It was a lot. I don't know if I could do it the way that I did it. I also just think like your young mid-20s, like you have like a hustle in you and stuff that you – It's the same way like I was catching up with some girlfriends the other day and we were all saying how like we literally don't go out or like do anything now on the weekends. And I'm like, I don't have it in me.

You want me to go to a bar till like midnight on a Friday? That sounds so crazy. Oh my God. That sounds exhausting and just like not a place I want to be. And I think you just have this like energy and like fire in you at that age that you are just like... I know. You kind of... It is like you're...

I was like, it's a high. Yeah. We were riding a high for a while until we finally were like so burnt out. I am burnt the fuck out. And I think, I honestly think that was a huge kind of factor that happened towards the end of last year that I think we both felt

kind of when we realized the dynamic wasn't working anymore i think we were both just so burnt out yeah um i think moving to austin just like leaving la and kind of leaving that like go go go that we had had there we were like wait a minute got to come up yeah and we kind of realized that we had both been like drowning in in work and stuff and so but also like thank goodness

like i keep thinking to myself thank goodness we did that then because now i'm in a position where yeah i can stop for a minute if i need to yeah because if i mean if bloom wasn't where it's at like i wouldn't be able to yeah it's almost like it happened how it was supposed to yeah

No, I mean, I'm so thankful for that time. And it's funny, even going into the real estate stuff, it's very intimidating. And I'm like, God, like, I don't even know where to start. Like if I like day one, I get a client or whatever, like I know nothing. And then I literally was like, Fiona, you like built a podcast studio and like did audio and video. Yeah. And I learned all that. And I hadn't

idea what I was doing exactly any of the stuff when we would do the events we would throw the events we had no idea what we were doing at the beginning but we learned and so I'm like okay Fiona if you could learn how to do all that totally you can learn this so I will say like the time at bloom like definitely taught me work ethic and that like I am capable of like a lot more than I think I am I'm sure oh my god we did so much crazy shit so I'm like okay I got that in my back

it's confidence building for sure like we know we can do it but it was crazy but it was so i was literally thinking back to that london trip and i was like that is crazy i know to be honest the team i think the team is like navigating around me in this phase of my life because they're so used to

Me being available all the time. Because I used to say yes to everything. And now I feel like I say no to like so much stuff. Because I'm trying to honor this moment that I'm in. And I keep waiting for myself to like wake up and be that me again. And it's not happening. You go through just like different stages of...

and the kind of person you are. And I think we like had that time. I don't think I'm going to be that way any time soon again. Grind time. I mean, you don't have to ever be that way again. I know. You know? I loved the orange PR box.

Oh, I know. That was sick. So crazy. That was so cool. Yeah, people are loving Juicy Orange. Fi actually came in drinking a Juicy Orange. It's her new favorite. I tested Juicy Orange before I left. Yeah. One of my favorite flavors. It's one of the more subtle ones. It's like, if you're looking for a morning energy drink, I would feel like it's the best morning one because it's not as intense. Yeah. It's like light and orangey. Yeah. Yeah, it's actually my favorite right now too. I had one yesterday. Austin Girl Trip Wreck.

That's a good one. I'm not good at this. Okay, I'll help. God, actually, am I good at this? No, I'm old. Like, all I do is go to Pecan Square and Jeffries. I did have a girl DM me asking, she like, I don't know if it was a bachelorette. She was saying, she's like, we want to come in August. And I was like, it's going to be really hot in August. That's not a good idea. I was like, I don't know if like, I was like, Austin's really fun. But I mean, what am

my friends had a bachelorette here and we went on a boat and we went to a winery and like, there was like, there's definitely a lot to do here. There's so much to do for girls trips. Definitely a boat on the lake. Go to ski shores. Yeah. Go to Terry Black's, get some barbecue, go shopping on South Congress. Go to Jacobus. Go to clocks for dinner. Go to Swedish Hill for breakfast. Yeah.

I don't leave Tower Town straight up. Like I go like this. I literally live in a square. Yeah. I'm trying to get better. Well, like I said, like I like, I really have been a hermit. I like haven't been going out at all. So. I love that for you though. Yeah. I feel like you do things. I do. Honestly, when I do, it's funny. Like when I do stuff now with friends, it's like, it's, it's like some sort of exercise. Like we're cycling and getting coffee or we're going on a walk on the lake and getting coffee. Like that's kind of like how I socialize now, which is fine. We should walk soon. Cause it's nicer out now. Yes. That's

Finally. It's all about me praying. Oh, yeah. How's that going? It's good. I go to church every Sunday. I pray morning and night. Wow. It's not coming from a place of like, all of a sudden I'm religious. It's literally just like, I needed a practice. And it's just helping. Yeah. Like, it's like a community. It's positive. I feel like I'm letting go control. I'm putting it in someone else's hands. Like, for someone like me, this is...

so excruciating yeah like it's excruciating against everything that you oh i'm dying i know like i feel like i'm dying like it's so crazy i know dude you just said we moved to austin over a year ago i feel like i've legit i've been trying to have a baby for two years now at this point ish it feels like a long long time and i'm just like dude i'm ready so when i pray it's like

I'm doing gratitude. I'm saying thank you. I'm saying please help me get through this. I'm not religious and I wasn't raised with any religion, but I, and I've been doing this for as long as I remember, every night when I'm in bed, I don't pray to anyone, but I kind of say something every night in my head to myself. That's cool. I've always done that. I think it's a good practice. Yeah, and exactly what you were saying. I say a gratitude thing or if...

something's happening in the world or like something i'm going through or someone i know is going through something like i always say a little something to myself it's like almost how i fall asleep at night yeah i like kind of like think and like say that's cute yeah i've done that forever yeah i find that my list gets very long though because i'm like like praying for oh pray for them oh and them oh and them too oh them also like and i always try to include someone that i low-key like

don't like you know what i mean because i'm like yeah i want to like practice that too like not just people i care about like people that i don't really fuck with also i pray for them too january was an interesting month yeah it was nuts really long yeah really a long month yeah so you're getting your real estate license yeah

I'm getting an embryo implanted. I know I got to ask you off the mic. Yeah, and I thought I wanted to hear all about the trip coming up, but whatever. You'll tell me off mic. I'm going to Arizona. Yeah, that's not the info that we want, but we'll hear an update when you get back. Going to see a friend and maybe a boy, a man. There we go. Is he going to listen to this? I don't know. That's why I don't want to say anything.

Hey. I don't know. V, thank you so much. We love you so much. Oh, I love you too. The girls were so excited to have you. I know. It's been a minute. I got to come back more often. I know. Next time, do you want to listen to voice messages? Yes. We'll bring that back. I haven't done that in a long time. But anyway, love you guys. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Thank you for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. To support this show, please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at marilowelland.com. It will be linked in the show notes.

This podcast is a Pursuit Network production brought to you by Michaela Phillips, Joel Contartese, Davielle Waldner, Jen Lauren, and Mackenzie Mizell. You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at Pursuit of Wellness Podcast. Love you, Power Girls and Power Boys. I will see you next time.

The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, talk to your doctor or health team.