16: Moments Learning to Love Your Body
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Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. I'm going to be totally upfront with you guys and so honest right now. I have had such a hard time figuring out when to record the podcast. Like I'll tell myself early in the week, okay, I'm going to record on Tuesday or Wednesday so that I don't have to worry about it when the weekend comes and then life will happen and something will come up and I won't be able to record and I always end up recording on the weekend. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to record on Tuesday or Wednesday so that I don't have to worry about it when the weekend comes and then life will happen and something will come up and I won't be able to record and I always end up recording on the weekend.

which I don't mind. I just want to work on getting on like a better schedule with recording and I don't know, I just thought I'd share that with you guys to let you know that even if it does seem like my life is put together, I'm kind of all over the place all the time. I'm also in a really, really weird emotional mood right now. I'm not sure why.

Actually, yes I am. I was on my period so like right after that usually I get super emotional and I get irritated easily and sad easily but also like really happy and giggly easily. So I think that recording this is really going to help lift my spirits and lift my mood and today is also a really freaking cool day.

Because I don't know if you guys know what the Pipeline Masters are, but it's like a huge surf contest and all the top 50 surfers from around the world are all here right now. And we're going to go watch them surf. And I'm definitely looking forward to that. Something about watching the waves here, especially when they're big, you can just like feel the power from the ocean and it's pretty sick. It's a very grounding experience, I would say.

But before I go do all of that, I want to do this episode on body image. A lot of people have been asking me to do this episode since I started the podcast because for a long time on TikTok, I talked a lot about body positivity and I still do. Not even necessarily body positivity, but just accepting that our bodies are going to go through different stages of life and they deserve fuel and food. But I've been very hesitant to actually record the episode because...

I don't know. It's just something that definitely freaks me out a little bit. And it's a hard topic to talk about, but I think that's all the reason that I should do an episode on it and I should talk about it more. We are all so, so, so conditioned to look a certain way or to think that we're supposed to look a certain way and to feel bad about ourselves if we don't.

And I can say that with, like, I can say with full confidence that this is just because of what social media and beauty standards has done to us. You know, we constantly see pictures of perfect people online. And the reality of it is none of those pictures are actually real. I mean, yes, they might be real. I'm not saying everything on the internet is edited, but I'm saying that we post our best pictures online and we're constantly feeding people the highlight reels of our life.

So in most cases, people aren't going to go on Instagram and post when they're on their period and they're super bloated and they feel gross about themselves, you know? I will say though, it's been very cool to see because lately on social media, I think that a lot of people are doing that. A lot of people are showing what they look like after they eat or what they look like at different angles and in different lighting. And I really think that that's a beautiful thing and that's what we need to see more of.

But obviously, we can't just change the way that our minds have been configured through one person's post, you know? It's going to take a little bit more than that. And I can't be someone to come on here and advocate love yourself at all times in your life because I've been at a point where I hate everything about myself and I still have phases now. But what I can do is share with you what helps me when I do find myself in a place like that.

Because I know that a lot of this stuff is much easier said than done. My body... I'll give you guys a little bit of a background. Also, I'm not really sure how this works, but I am going to be talking about relationships with food and different weights and stuff like that. So, I don't know. I just felt like I should maybe let you guys know that in case anyone gets triggered or whatever the situation is. But through my life, I was very, very small. I was just genetically tiny. I didn't have...

anything on me really besides skin and bone and I was like this all the way up until high school and I've always had a huge appetite I always grew up eating whatever I wanted and not really changing like I always looked tiny and it was just genetic and I never really had any second thoughts I never thought twice about what I was eating or what I was doing or if I was working out I was also pretty active I did cheerleading I had cheer practice I was in school I

But it was never something that came across my mind. And I wish more than anything that that is a point that I could get back to as far as self-acceptance. I just didn't, I just knew who I was and that was it. I didn't think like, oh, if I eat this, maybe I'll look like this. Or if I do this, maybe I'll have abs. None of those thoughts went through my head.

And I was this way for a while. And then like my senior year of high school, I was still super tiny eating whatever I want. But that was when I really started to see what beauty standards were and what girls I thought were the prettiest were the ones that were really, really skinny. So that's what I wanted for myself. And I would try to be more like aware of what I was eating. My appetite was still too big to actually alter anything. Like I just love food and I still just love food.

But that's not the point. The point was what I was thinking and how I wanted to change how I looked. And this kind of continued up through college. My first year of college, I gained the freshman 15. We all gain the freshman 15. You're supposed to gain the freshman 15. It means you're doing the right thing and you're having a good time in college. At least that's the way I see it. And also, as I continue this episode, I want you guys to know

I'm not a professional. I'm sharing with you guys my personal stories, my personal experience, and if it doesn't resonate with you, that's okay. But I am just saying I'm not a professional, so take what you need from this, and whatever you don't need, just let it go. But yeah, anyways, I gained the freshman 15 in college, and then from that point, I was always just super aware of what I was eating. I was trying to eat healthy, but not limit myself,

have never really talked about this. Like I have always had a really good relationship with food as far as like eating enough food. But I will say that my thoughts have been all over the place when it comes to food. I'll go through phases of like, oh, I wish I wasn't hungry because I don't want to eat this because I want to be skinny. And like that's really vulnerable for me to share with you guys. But I want you to know that everything I'm saying is coming from like real, real places of experience and not just nowhere, you know?

But anyways, then I'd go through other phases where I'm like, no, eat whatever you want. Who cares what you look like? Your body's going to fluctuate. No, no, no, no, no, no. You guys know the drill. And a lot of times I think that I would get hyper fixated on food because...

because I'm someone who's very food driven. Like as my day goes on, I'll be like, okay, this is what I'm going to do for lunch. This is what I'm going to do for dinner. So I'm always thinking about food and that hasn't changed. But I will say, as I say all this stuff, I'm at a point now where I'm really, really, really just genuinely confident in my relationship with food and I'll still have struggles with my body. Don't get me wrong. Like right now I'm sitting in the car recording this

In my bathing suit, I just had like four pieces of toast, a whole mango and a kiwi. And I'm like, oh, you know, I feel kind of bloated. But I'm also like, who cares? Literally, who cares? I have food. I have fuel. I'm ready to go. I'm still confident. And that's that. So I think that's why I finally felt ready enough to record an episode where I talk about this stuff.

And sorry I keep getting sidetracked. I tried to do an outline for this episode, but I just couldn't do it. And I wanted it to be something that's very natural and where I just like talk with what comes to mind as it goes. Because this is a very important conversation to me. And I think that a lot of us need some of these reminders. Even me. But anyways, I still never really finished my story with like my body and everything. But I noticed...

as the years went on that when I was in a bad place mentally I would go through kind of these depressive episodes and anxious moments where I really really just relied on food and I I ate my emotions rather than like feeling them I don't know if anyone else has ever struggled with that but I would try to pretend I was like super happy and I would just eat away my depression um

And that led me to gain a decent amount of weight, especially the last time I was in Hawaii. And, you know, people commented on it, which never helps. Also, if you are someone to comment on someone's weight, please don't do that. Please just don't do that. I mean, in general, don't ever comment on something that someone can't change within five minutes. Like, you can tell someone if they have something in their teeth. Don't tell them they have ugly teeth. You know, it's just let's be nice people. I remember how hard it was to see those comments, and I would try to just laugh them off, but...

I don't know. It's not fun. It's not fun. Anyways, though, I noticed as I got back into like a healthier mindset and a better mentality, I kept myself more busy and I still eat plenty of food. Like I still eat a lot of food, but I'm not eating my emotions. I'm eating more so when I'm hungry. So I've definitely gotten a lot more in touch with intuitive eating. But I will still catch myself on days where I'm like, dude, you're not hungry. You're just stressed out and food can heal that for you.

And I'm also learning that sometimes there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it's a good coping mechanism to eat all your favorite snacks for like an hour straight if it makes you feel better. I think that the goal for all of us should just be to not think about it so much because we all think about it way, way, way too much. But here's the thing. Our bodies are constantly changing.

Constantly. Our weight can fluctuate up to seven pounds just per day. There's gonna be days where you bloat more than other days. And the thing about all of that is it doesn't matter. I promise you no one is paying attention like you think that they're paying attention. We get so hyper fixated on ourselves and we think that people have to perceive us a certain way or that people should look at us a certain way and that we need to look a certain way to be accepted or to be loved.

When the reality is, everyone is doing that same exact thing about themselves. No one is perceiving you the way that you think you're being perceived. And it's really interesting because I was reading this book and it gave this analogy. I don't know if I talked about this in the last episode, but basically the book said you walk into a movie theater, you're watching this movie, and you're the main character, and your mom, dad, brother, sister, friends are all the side characters. And then you leave the theater,

and you walk into a different theater and this time your mom's the main character and you are portrayed as a completely different person because that's how your mom perceives you but not how you perceive yourself and I just found it to be very interesting and it was really eye-opening for me and if I did talk about it in the last episode that makes sense because I haven't stopped thinking about it since I first read it no one really cares about us as much as we think they do and not in a way of like nobody cares about you but but nobody's looking at your flaws

I promise you. So there's no point in us wasting our time on doing that. We are all made to look different. We are all coming from strands and strands and strands of ancestors. I mean, think all the way back to like your great, great, great, great, great grandma. You now carry characteristics or traits that she had. And when I think about it that way, I find a whole new appreciation for who I am.

We seriously all are so unique, so one-of-a-kind, coming from so many different people, yet we try so hard to look like everyone else. And when I first taught myself that we're supposed to look different, a lot of things changed for me. It gave me a whole new sense of confidence and just acceptance for myself. And I think that's another huge thing when it comes to loving yourself is

overall and being confident in who you are is learning to be confident in who you are and not just thinking about it all the time, but really, really understanding that confidence is all you need. All you need. Letting go of the second guessing, letting go of the thought that people are looking at you and just being you. Simply just being yourself. And I know, I know, I know. It's a lot, lot, lot easier said than done.

But it starts with affirmations. It starts with looking in the mirror, even on your worst day, and saying, you know what? I am hot. I look good. I don't care if my stomach's a little bit bloated or I don't like the way my arms look. I look good. And you simply just fake it till you make it when it comes to confidence. That's what I had to do for so long. I spent a lot, a lot of time insecure last year. And it wasn't until I just started pretending that I felt like I was hot

That I actually started feeling like I was hot. You know? And I'm also noticing that people notice your confidence. And confidence is attractive. So start there. Start faking it until you make it. Start with the affirmations. Understand that that's the key. That's the first step.

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But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.

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quick little intermission you guys we all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life and maybe for you that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk but how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine if it's something that you've been open to if it's something that you've been considering i highly recommend better help and thank you so much to better help for sponsoring this episode

I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.

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Now, the next thing that I really want to talk about is like the food portion of all of this. Eating what you want and learning to be okay with eating what you want is hard, but it's so important. I can assure you that trying to cut out foods that are so-called bad for you is a lot worse for you than you think.

Your body is so deserving of carbs, of sugar, of fats, of proteins, of everything. You deserve it all.

And a lot of times when I say this, people are like, no, you have to balance. You can't have this and you can't have too much of this or that or that. I understand that. I'm not saying only eat Nutella covered waffles every single day, every single meal. I'm saying don't be afraid of it. You can balance it. You can have fruits and vegetables and you can also have Nutella and waffles if you want it. The key is balance. The key is moderation.

And that's why not restricting yourself makes that a lot easier because you'll notice if you've ever been in a place where you do try to restrict something, you eventually end up having it. And you end up having a lot of it. At least that's what I've learned from my personal experience. So just don't be afraid of foods you enjoy. Eat them. I think a lot of times we forget how much our body does for us and we don't value it very much at all.

We're just like, oh, I want it to look like this, so I'm not going to give it this. When the reality is our body is the reason that we can walk, that we can talk, that we can sing, that we can dance, that we can hang out with our friends, that we can laugh, we can swim, and we just don't take care of it. Like literally the least we can do is take care of it. And by that I mean eat what it wants. Eat what it's craving. If your body's craving something and you go, no, you can't have that, obviously your body's not going to repay you very kindly.

You have to have a friendship with your body, a relationship with food, and see it as something more than just what it makes you look like, if that makes any sense. Because that is what you deserve.

Something that also helped me heal my relationship with my body and my relationship with food was understanding that everyone has the same problems and the same issues. And I don't know if that sounds good or if that sounds bad, but there's a source of comfort in feeling like you're less alone.

And knowing that everyone has the same struggles and everyone gets insecure about the same things, whether it's the way your stomach sits or the way that your cellulite looks when you sit down or what your butt looks like from the back, a lot of people have the same insecurities. Even if it seems like they don't, a lot of us are struggling. And it's just because we didn't really choose to be fed everything that we consume. And I don't mean that on a literal level.

way. I mean it in like a social media way. We're constantly fed what we should look like or what we shouldn't look like or what we should eat or here's like low calorie stuff or here's guilt-free stuff. Nothing should involve guilt but I do believe there are things that our bodies definitely need. Like I think that we need a lot of protein. I think that we need a lot of carbs for energy. I think that we need it all. Food is a beautiful thing.

It grows from the ground and we turn it into other stuff and then we feed it to ourselves. And then, I don't know, I don't really know where I was going with that. And it probably sounded a little bit crazy, but when you look at food as something more than food, it's cool and it makes you enjoy it more and it makes you want to learn more about it and cook more and see what it does to affect you and see how good it can make you feel mentally. You deserve to have a good time and to have energy.

And food is what is going to do that for you. Food gives you energy. If you're noticing that you're tired a lot, it's maybe that you're not eating enough. I'm sure there's other things it could be, but you never know. And it's worth trying and it's worth starting to figure it out. But you are beautiful. You deserve to eat. You deserve to love your body at all of its stages. You guys, your body is going to change.

My body has been so many different weights in the past couple years. I couldn't even I couldn't even explain it to you because I don't know how it happened. Nothing really changed with me. My mental health here and there. Yes, but nobody else noticed as much as I did. Like, yeah, there would be a couple people who would comment like, oh, you gained weight or oh, you lost weight. But overall, I was the one who was so in my head about it. People didn't really care that much at all.

But for example, I'm going to say what I weighed in 2018, I was like 115 pounds. Okay. And then I was like 135 in 2019, 2020. I don't know. I don't think I had a scale and I don't like scales, but I've randomly been on them. Like when I have to go to the doctor and stuff.

And then last time I was in Hawaii, I was 153 pounds. And right now, I don't really know what I weigh. I haven't weighed myself in a while. And I don't plan on doing it anytime soon until I have to go to the doctor or something. Because the number on the scale is irrelevant. Very, very, very irrelevant. Okay? What matters is how you feel. And if you feel good and if you feel energized, whatever that number is does not freaking matter. Okay?

And I know I keep repeating this, but your body is unique. You are unique. You were made this way for a reason. And someone is going to love and appreciate you at your worst, at your best, and everywhere in between. And anyone who can't see that does not deserve you. Because I promise you, your body is the least interesting thing about you. Think of all you've accomplished. Think of who you are as a person and on the inside.

If someone can only focus on what's the outside, that is their loss. And it's not yours because you deserve so much better than that. And anyone who has something to say about it is healing their own insecurities. As humans, we are programmed to project. We project our insecurities onto other people. And that's where jealousy comes from. That's where hate comes from. Instead of accepting how we're feeling about ourselves...

We try to find things that we don't like about other people. And I can promise you that we've all done that. There's no point in trying to say, like, I've never been jealous or I've never felt myself projecting my own insecurities. Because I have. You have. We all have. We see people confident about things that we're insecure about and we want to be upset with them. For no particular reason. It's just almost how we've been conditioned.

And it's hard to change that. And again, here I go again. It starts with your mindset. It starts with becoming aware that that's what's happening. Becoming aware that you're the one who's hurting when you feel the need to hurt other people. And that's not a good thing, but it's also not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing to become aware of it because that's the first step in changing it. You don't want to get older and you don't want to grow up and finally have all these realizations and realize that you were the mean girl. Don't be the mean girl.

Be the girl who's confident and who's happy and who radiates her light onto other people and inspires other people to love themselves rather than hate themselves. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

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The world needs more nice people. And I think that that should be all of our goals. Is to just be nice. And to not focus on other people's appearance. I think just as much as it's important to heal your own relationship with your body and learn to love yourself. In order to do that, you also have to stop looking at other people's appearances. You have to look at who they are as people. On the inside. And eventually...

You'll stop caring so much what you look like and I think that that's when I really really noticed the change in myself Not that I ever like paid attention to people's bodies, but it was a thought that went through my head It was like oh, she's really skinny and she has a big butt Why don't I have that like why was that the first thing that went through my head instead of oh my gosh This girl is so sweet, you know And I don't know when I really started changing that or when I really realized that or how but

I did, and I think that that's a good first step for all of us. You are not a body. You are a soul. You are a personality, and you're just living in this body temporarily. Take care of it. It's like cleaning your house. You're not going to live in a dirty house. I mean, some of us do. Sometimes my house gets messy, but you know what I mean. Your body is a temple, and you should worship it like a temple. Give it what it wants. Give it what it needs. Keep it clean and just...

take care of it. And I know that it's hard and it is a long process. It is a really, really long journey to talk more about that. I was talking to my therapist the other day and I was explaining to her how I felt so like mentally healthy and I didn't understand like what changed or how I did it. And she was like, Lexi, you've been working on yourself for the past six or seven months that we've been talking. She's like, this is what it feels like for your work to pay off.

And it kind of just hit me. All the mornings I spent journaling where I didn't feel like I was gaining anything or all the time I took to spend alone and to go on walks. In the moment, I was like, oh yeah, this is refreshing. But I didn't think anything was changing until I talked to her and she explained to me that things take time. And when they click, they click. And it can take a week for things to click or it can take a month or two months for things to click. But the work does pay off. It always pays off. And that being said, I am going to end on that note.

Okay, I love you guys and I love everything about you and I love who you're becoming and I'm so proud of you and I'm so proud of your growth. And another day I'm going to do an episode on this again and get into like the statistics and details about why we should be comfortable with our bodies changing because our bodies are supposed to change. But for now, take what you want from that.

And know that I love you and that I care about you and that you are more than a body and that it's the least interesting thing about you and that you are made so uniquely and you deserve to appreciate that. Worship this body that you get to live in because it does so much for you. Give it what it wants when it wants it and take care of yourself, okay?

I love you guys. Don't forget to follow the podcast, like the podcast, download the episodes, leave a rating, all that good stuff. And follow me on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, you know, all the good stuff if you don't. But we will talk again next Monday. I love you. Goodbye.