2: Moments in Rediscovering Yourself
47:18 Share

This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot, Shopify helps you do your thing however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Hello, my beautiful people, my beautiful, amazing, the best people in the whole entire world. Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. You guys, I'm on cloud nine right now. I didn't even get past processing that I recorded the first episode of the podcast and I come to find out this morning that we are currently number 24 on the Spotify charts. Like the Spotify charts, the top charts of the top podcasts in the country.

My mind is blown and it is all because of you guys. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. This podcast wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't be this confident in who I am if it wasn't for you. I think I'm going to go over this every single time I record a podcast, but you guys do not even understand how much of an impact you've had on me and my mental health. You guys are the ones who are always there for me, always supporting me, always believing in me, and I'm just very, very grateful.

You guys all listened to the first episode and you gave me like the kindest feedback ever, ever. And I know in the last episode you could only hear on the right side. So I think I got that fixed. I felt super techie last night trying to figure it out, but I think I got it. So I hope that you can hear this in both AirPods this time. If you guys haven't listened to the first episode already, go do that if you want. No pressure, but I definitely talk a lot more about who I am in that episode.

And if you want to know, feel free to go do so. If not, we're going to get into this episode. I actually wanted to wait to do this episode for a while. And I don't know exactly why. I can't really put it into words. But I think what I've discovered is that I wanted to put this off because it's something that I went through so recently. And it's something I'm still healing from and I'm still learning from.

So I was going to wait until I was fully healed to share these moments and these thoughts and these things that I've learned. But I realized that kind of defeats the purpose. One of my major goals in this podcast is to get through things together, to feel like we're on the same team, like in the same boat, going through the same motions. And I just wanted us to get through this together. Like I wanted to be able to be so vulnerable about everything I'm about to say. And we're going to do that.

So today's episode is called Moments in Rediscovering Yourself. And by that I mean, I think that a lot of us have gone through phases of our life, maybe once, maybe twice, maybe over and over again, of just feeling lost, forgetting what you want to do with your life, forgetting about your passions, forgetting what makes you happy.

where we just feel like we're in this constant cycle. Every day is the same. Nothing's rewarding. We're not gaining anything from it. We're sad all the time, but we don't know why. And here's the thing with being lost. You can have a happy life. You can be living an awesome lifestyle and still feel lost. And that's okay, and there's nothing wrong with admitting that. For a while, that was something I didn't want to admit. For example, I don't know if you got it. In the first podcast...

I mentioned how college for me, everything seemed to be lining up. I was at my dream school with my best friends. I was making money, yet I still felt lost. I still didn't feel like myself and I still didn't know how to find myself again. Same thing with when I was in Hawaii. I was living in Hawaii.

I was living in Hawaii, I was going to the beach every day, I was surrounded again by awesome people. My following was growing, my job was booming, business was great, and I still felt lost. I still didn't know where I was. And it happens to so many of us, and sometimes we don't allow ourselves to feel that. And then slowly it just deteriorates us until it gets so bad that you can't avoid it anymore.

And I think I want to just share these things to maybe prevent you from getting to that point. And if you are at that point, to just get past it. Guys, I still can't process that I'm recording a podcast. This is crazy and amazing. And let's just get real. Let's get right into it. Losing yourself freaking sucks. We're going to start with that. And...

I want to kind of go over some of the things that I personally felt because a lot of times we don't even realize that we're lost. Again, like I said, until it's so bad and we can't avoid it. But some of the things I remember just constantly feeling when I'm really not myself is almost feeling like you're failing at everything. And again, you could be failing at nothing, but these are all just like internal things that we go through. Feeling like you're failing at things when you're not actually failing is

It's so tough. For me in college, I felt like I wasn't working enough when I was working four jobs. So many hours a day, so many hours a week.

And I never felt successful. It started with feeling like I was failing at things, and then I realized I would be around my best friends, and I still wasn't having a good time. And I blamed a lot of it on my outside surroundings. I blamed it on the fact that I was drinking all the time, that I had so much schoolwork, and I thought that that's why I was going through it. And it wasn't until recently, actually, that I realized that it's from within.

It all starts from within you and we heal from the inside out and not the outside in. And if you found yourself blaming everything around you for why you feel the way that you feel, you might be lost and you might just have to grasp onto yourself once again. And that might be the one thing that you're missing.

I want to tell you a little bit more about my experience in Hawaii because I just think that that's important and I get so many questions constantly in my DMs and my comments. When are you going back to Hawaii? When are you going back to Hawaii? Oh, are you finally going back? And we miss your Hawaii content. And those things aren't necessarily easy to hear. And I can't blame anyone. I'm not upset about getting the DMs. It's more just like an internal thing that puts, I just immediately put this shield up

And I avoid the question. I avoid the comments. And that's because I was really just not okay in Hawaii. And I was really going through it. And I touched on it in the first episode. But with Hawaii, it was hard. It was my first time moving away from home since college. And that was already scary because I knew what happened to me the first time I moved away from home in college. The same thing. So I think I had that subconscious fear. And I think that that's something I hadn't let go of.

And I think it's important to let go of those things. When we have issues in our past, a lot of times instead of talking about them and allowing them to pass us, we just keep them internalized. And that's what I did with my experience at college. I didn't really tell too many people how miserable it was for me besides my parents and my close friends. And then it finally all connected the dots in Hawaii because I realized that that's why I had such a hard time there was because I never healed from it the first time. Because I never talked to anyone about it.

And I think that's really the first step is just admitting that you're kind of in a bad place and allowing yourself to move past it and let it go and leave it in the past so that you can focus on your future. In Hawaii, it was just tough because everything was so new. I was in a dream place, a dream location with dream friends doing all these amazing things.

I was gaining followers so quickly. And not that that matters to me, but from a business standpoint, that does because it changes a lot of my income and my brand deals and my offers and everything, really. So when that all happened so fast, I was a mess. I started making my whole life about getting these brand deals, doing these job opportunities, taking advantage of everything that I can. And I lost everything.

all of my self-care within that. I stopped taking care of myself. I just started neglecting myself and that's another way you're going to know that you're not where you need to be. If outside factors are consuming too much of your time and you're not paying attention to how you feel, take a step back. Go back to your roots. And that kind of leads me into the first, I guess you could say category of different things I want to talk about in Rediscovering Yourself.

which is simply finding your sparkle again. Such a cheesy little quote, but I've been saying it for a really long time. Find your sparkle. We do that by going back to the things that bring us genuine joy. Think about when you were a little kid and you would go ride your scooter or your rollerblades around the neighborhood with your neighbors or your friends. Think about the joy that that made you feel when there was no other worries in the world besides what you were doing in that moment. Finding your sparkle involves being present.

Which can be hard, trust me, I know. Letting go of your thoughts sometimes feels impossible. So think back. If you guys have a journal or if you're taking notes, write this one down. Think back to your childhood and write down the things that made you happier than ever. As we get older, as we grow up, we become so focused on being adults and doing real things and big people things and being successful.

But we have to stay kids. Being young is one of the best things ever. And we can't lose that. So do those things. Do the things that bring you joy. Write them down. And then every day, do one of those things. I don't care if it's a coloring book. I don't care if it's karaoke. What it is. It's different for all of us. But be a kid again. You have no idea how much that's going to spark goodness within you. It releases dopamine, you guys. We need that.

I'm not a professional here. I took AP Psych for one year, but dopamine is happy chemicals in your brain. That's the way I see it. That's all I really know about it. I'm not a professional. I don't know. But we need those happy chemicals. And I think another thing that releases a lot of that happiness, and it's something that we get too busy to do it, but we need to try new things. There are so many people out there that haven't found their passion yet.

And a lot of times we get sucked into this society norm, this society cycle, and we think that we found our passion. We think we know what we love just because we're good at it. And then we keep doing it and realize it's not what we're passionate about. And I think that one of the most important things in life is finding something that you're passionate about. And it's okay to not know what it is yet, but don't be afraid to try new things. Your passion could be knitting.

But if you haven't tried knitting, you won't know that. For me, for a really long time, I thought it was yoga. I thought that was my passion. And while yes, I love yoga more than anything, and I'm passionate about teaching it, that wasn't my passion. My true passion is inspiring people in any way that I can, and I was doing that through yoga. So just dig deep.

If you're still writing things down, write down things you think you're passionate about and then evaluate them. See what it really is. See what really lights you up inside and keep doing that. That is your sparkle and that's what you need to hold on to. Your passion is able to change and it's able to morph just like mine went from yoga to inspiring people. So what I want you guys to take from everything that I just said about finding your sparkle is check your environment.

Make sure that your surroundings are some are surroundings that are going to make you happy. Try new things. Go on walks. Ride a bike. Ride a scooter. Buy some Heelys. Who knows? Maybe you're passionate about riding Heelys. Do it and be a kid again. Do the things bringing you genuine, genuine joy. What lights you up inside?

And I know that a lot of times when we're lost, going all the way back to the beginning, we focus on outside factors. We blame it on outside factors. And I know I said that healing comes from the inside out. But there are some outside factors that we can control that will change the state of our mental health. Guys, we have to check our support system. I was watching a TED Talk, and it said something that really resonated with me. It said you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. And it went into detail about how...

The five people that we keep closest to us is who we're going to become. And sometimes this is a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes some of our closest friends aren't necessarily people that we want to become. And that's okay. But you need to be aware of who you're keeping around you. You have to have people in your life who are going to motivate you, who are going to empower you, who are going to inspire you. And sometimes that means reaching out to new people and making new friends. And that's also a hard thing to do, but...

We can't surround ourselves with negative energy. Everything is energy. If we're around negative people 24-7, there is no way to stay positive. We like to think that we can, but it's not possible. Evaluate who you're surrounding yourself with. It's not easy by any means, but you need people in your life who bring you joy.

You need friends that benefit you in different ways. I have friends who motivate me to be the best version, the most successful version of myself. I have friends who remind me that it's okay to be a kid. It's okay to have fun. I have friends who just inspire me to read more books. Guys, we just need people who are good for us. And I know a lot of times it's difficult to escape that. I know there's a lot of people who have families that aren't necessarily supportive.

But we also have to realize that we can't expect things from people if we don't communicate them. And this isn't something that's going to work for everyone, but if you do think that your parents don't believe in you, don't support you, try talking to them. Try explaining to them why you love the things that you love and what you're going through and what you're feeling. And a lot of the times they will come around. Trust me, my dad, when I first told him what I wanted to do and that I wanted to take a

He was not in support of that. My dad wanted me to get my degree, but the more I talked to him, the more I made him realize what my goals were and what I was passionate about and what I really wanted to do, the more he understood. So communication is one of the most important things when it comes to finding yourself. Talk to people around you. Make sure they know what you want. We can't read each other's minds. There's no way for us to know what someone else in our life needs from us if they don't communicate it, if they don't voice it.

So talk to your family, talk to your friends, keep the good people around, and if you have to let go of toxic people, you have to do it. You have to. And it doesn't have to be aggressive. If someone's hurting you and they don't realize it, number one, try talking to them about it. If that doesn't work, just drift yourself. Take some space. Don't rely on them. And just do what you need to do. Do what you gotta do.

You're the most important person in your life. You're the one that's going to be with you until the end. There's going to be people that you meet in your life who are going to be jealous of what you're doing or intimidated by what you're doing. And that's okay. And honestly, they probably need the space from you just as much as you need the space from them. And it doesn't mean it has to be forever. It doesn't mean you're letting go of a friendship completely. It just means you're taking time.

to focus on yourself and that should be okay and people should understand that. And something that I did personally, especially in Hawaii when I was really lost, even when I was in college and I had my experience is when I'm feeling lost and when I can't seem to find myself, I avoid talking to people about it. I avoid speaking my truth and I just push away the feelings and

And it gets bad. It gets really, really bad. I mean, I was at a point where I was ignoring calls from my mom. I was ignoring calls from my grandparents. I wasn't calling people. I wasn't texting people. And my excuse was just that I was so busy. We are never too busy to talk to the people that we love.

There are so many minutes of the day. Those five minutes that you spend scrolling on TikTok could be spent talking to someone for five minutes. We just prioritize our time wrong when we're going through things. And this is something that you can ease yourself into. You don't have to call up your mom and be like, hey mom, I have no idea who I am. I feel completely lost. Ease into it. Start telling her one day at a time what you're feeling, why you think you're feeling it.

Your best friend, your dad, your brother, anyone. Just talk to someone and if it feels like there's not anyone to talk to or no one's having the right effect on you. For example, I started going to therapy and it's not because I didn't have someone to talk to. It's because I wanted to talk to someone unbiasedly about what I was feeling and there was no judgment. There was no questions being asked.

It was simply just me being able to talk about my feelings and then being given an explanation on why I was feeling them. I can't recommend therapy enough. I was very anti-therapy for a very long time because I thought that that meant admitting that I wasn't okay. And I thought that that was the worst thing in the world. I learned it's the most important thing in the world is being able to admit when you're going through something. So take the first step. Talk to the first person. Reach out to the first person.

Rant to your phone. Before I ever got into any of this, I would sit there, I would put the lock on my Snapchat, and I would talk to my phone. I would rant to my private story. I just ranted all the time. And even that helped because I was getting my feelings out. I wasn't storing them. The only way to rediscover yourself is to admit that you've lost yourself. You can do it. You're capable of it, I promise. And I know it's not going to be easy. But that doesn't mean that you can't do it.

Believe in yourself. Believe that you can make the change from within you. It starts with you. It starts with the way that we see things. It starts with the way our mind works. Becoming more aware. Like I said, it's little things. It's the little things that build up, which is why we just have these big breaks. Not drinking enough water. Not being active because it feels good. In Hawaii, I was working out because I hated my body, not because I loved it. Therefore, I wasn't being active to feel good.

We find ourselves eating too little or too much. We get stuck in a cycle and we let it happen over and over and over again until it builds up. So just become aware. Become aware of what you're doing. Are you taking care of yourself or are you neglecting yourself? It's something that we all do. We neglect our self-care so much. And a lot of times we do it to please the outside world.

However, we can't be happy and successful in the outside world if we aren't healed in our own little inside world. Become aware if you're drinking enough water every day. And if you're not, if you haven't had any water today, I want you to go grab a water bottle right now, fill up a cup, drink some water while you listen to this. If you haven't had a meal today, I want you to go make something good. I want your proteins, your carbs, your healthy fats, everything in there. Whatever you want. Or go eat a freaking Twix bar.

If that's going to bring you joy, that's what you need to do. Become aware of what you're doing in your days. Sometimes instead of scrolling through TikTok for two hours, it's nice to go for a walk.

This episode of the moments podcast is sponsored by better help quick little intermission you guys we all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life and maybe for you that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk but how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine and

If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode. I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.

So if you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just have to fill out a brief questionnaire and you'll get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments.

Quick little intermission. You guys know how much I love Thrive Cosmetics. I really don't even need to explain it to you because those of you who know me know me, know I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life, and I use it religiously. Even if I'm getting my makeup done, I bring it with me. Not only are their products high performance, but they also give back to the community. And...

They're good for you. They're the best things in the whole entire world. And lately I've been using their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon. I didn't know what to expect when I tried this, but it is like long lasting and it stays on forever. And there's no dry flaky feeling. I also love to use their Brilliant Eye Brightener. It's like a combo of a highlight and an eyeshadow and it works perfectly on my inner corner. Sometimes I put a little dollop on my nose.

But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.

So refresh your everyday look with Thrive Cosmetics, beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com slash moments. That's Thrive Cosmetics, C-A-U-S-E-M-E-T-I-C-S dot com slash moments for 10% off your first order. You're going to absolutely love it. I pinky promise you. Have a beautiful day. Back to the pod.

Think about what you're doing. We do it so subconsciously. It was actually in a TED talk that I watched and I want to give you guys kind of a recommendation list of different books and TED talks that I like. But in this specific TED talk that I was listening to, it was by, I think his name was Peter Sage. And he talked a lot about how we do everything with our subconscious mind. 95% of the time we're living with our subconscious mind.

which is just living in habit. We are literally creatures of habit, which is why sometimes you'll drive home from school, from work, and you won't even remember driving home because we weren't mindful while we did it. We were just thinking subconsciously. So open your mind, open your consciousness, do things mindfully while you drive home from school. Put on your favorite podcast, put on your favorite song.

And be aware of what you're doing in that moment. And I know that I've definitely repeated things in this podcast, in this episode, over and over and over again. And sometimes that's what we need to hear. Sometimes you need me to remind you 10 times to go get a cup of water before you actually do it. And that's why I don't really mind being repetitive because I think that it's so important. I can't even begin to tell you guys the amount of times that I've tried to listen to a podcast all the way through or read a chapter of a book and not soaked in

single thing from it. I just let it play and I think I'm listening but I'm not because I'm living with my subconscious mind. I'm not being conscious of what I'm listening to. I'm not being focused. So start there. Become aware and simply start to change the way that you're thinking. Again, we heal from the inside out not the outside in and it all starts with your mind. I said this in the first podcast but thoughts become feelings which becomes behavior and

If you're constantly thinking negative, if you're constantly looking for the negative around you and the negative in other people and the negative in yourself, you can't expect to feel good. That doesn't add up. That doesn't make sense. Two plus two does not equal ten. If you start paying attention to the good things, you could be so anxious one day, like so anxious, but you were eating your favorite meal for 20 minutes. Instead of focusing on how anxious you are, focus on how good that dang meal was and how happy you were while you had it.

And then it leads you to feel happier. And it leads you to behave more motivated, more empowered, more overall just positive. Shift the way that you're thinking and know that things are going to get better. Know that you're going to find yourself again. You're not lost forever. You're still in there. Sometimes things are just blocking that. We just have to peel back those layers.

And let the true self grow. Let it grow. Something I learned recently is how much of an impact journaling can have on us. Because a lot of times when I'm sad and I'm down in the dumps, I don't want to journal because I don't want to write about how I'm feeling. Like, I don't know, it just felt silly to write about how sad I was. How is that going to help me? And then I finally started doing it. And it wasn't always journaling with a paper and pen. It was often journaling in the notes of my phone or...

ranting to my Snapchat story. And now, since I finally found myself again, over time, when I go watch those videos of me ranting about how sad I am, it's powerful. It really just goes to show how much we can grow and how much we can transform ourselves. And honestly, a lot of times when I make videos about how sad I am or write about how sad I am, it makes me realize that I don't want to feel that way anymore and a part of me is choosing to feel that way.

to avoid putting in the work to get better. So it's motivating. We have to go through the downs to feel the ups. Happy moments. Feel a lot better when you know that you've worked for it and you know that you deserve it and you deserve to be happy. So buy a journal or open the notes in your phone and every single day I want you to write down three things that you're grateful for and three things that you're excited to do that day. Start with little journaling exercises.

I still don't really journal every single day. That's not somewhere that I am yet, but I do try to do that exercise. I try to at least write what I'm grateful for because then throughout the rest of the day, that's what I'm going to think about and I'm going to notice more things that I'm grateful for. Simple things. The mailman just drove by and he put the mail in the mailbox and he waved to me. And I'm going to think about that. That made me happy. You know, I've had maybe a stressful morning.

But instead of focusing on that stressful morning, we're going to focus on the Smiling Mailman. And tomorrow, I'm going to write that down. And I'm going to think about it. And it's going to give me that momentum to find the good in everything. Okay, and listen to this. I did this one journaling exercise that really, really affected me on many different levels.

So a couple weeks ago, I was at a point where I was happy, my mental health was pretty good, but I was still super overwhelmed and super anxious, and I couldn't seem to pass that feeling. And I was scrolling through TikTok, and I came across this one TikTok. I wish I could credit the person who ever came up with this exercise because it was awesome. She goes, whatever you're doing right now, I want you to get off TikTok, and I want you to open your notes app, grab a pen and paper, and she goes, I want you to write a journal entry.

She's like, write it in present tense, but I want you to date it a year from now. So basically envision your dream goal, where you want to be in a year and write it like it already happened. I started it out. I was being so cheesy, so cheesy. I wasn't really giving it my everything, but I kept writing. I kept going. And by the end of it, I was crying.

I was so emotional because I ended up, it felt like I wrote a book. I mean, it's one of those things where if I were to send it as a text message, it would go, see more. And I wrote about every single one of my goals. I wrote about people in my life. I wrote about what my friends were going to be doing in their life. And I just put my everything into this little journal entry and this little exercise. And in a way, I guess it's manifesting it or speaking things into existence. But when I tell you it lifted a weight off my shoulders, that's

That's just an understatement. It gave me so much motivation to get past what I was feeling and to live for my future while being in the present. To live now, to do what I have to do now, but also looking forward to what the future holds. I think a lot of times when we're lost and we can't seem to find ourselves, it's because we're too focused on what we're feeling in that moment. And I do think it's important to be focused on the present, but I also think it's important to look forward to what's ahead of you.

to, again, know that things get better. So I definitely want you to do that. Whether it's today, whether it's a week from now, whenever you get the chance, just go in your notes. Write a journal entry. Your dream life a year from now. And date it as a year from now, but write it like it already happened. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Make this new school year an opportunity for your kids to learn important life skills with Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app for families where kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely while parents keep an eye on kids' money habits. Greenlight also helps families get into their fall routine with a chores feature that lets parents assign chores and pay kids allowance when they check them off. Get your first month free at greenlight.com slash spotify. greenlight.com slash spotify.

And as far as the speaking things into existence goes, guys, I did this exercise and things started happening for me so quickly. It was scary. Amazing. So many different things. I literally wrote in my journal entry that I would have a podcast a year from now. And now we're recording a podcast. We're recording the second episode of a podcast. I wrote that three months ago. It's crazy.

And it could be the placebo effect. I don't know what you guys believe or what resonates with you, but even if it is the placebo effect, it's still pretty dang amazing that we're here right now and we're doing this. So just try it. Let me know what you think. Let me know how it makes you feel. I want to know. And every morning, write down three things that you're grateful for and three things that you're looking forward to. And just see if it helps you.

I know that for a while when I was lost, I wouldn't do anything like that because I didn't think anything was going to help. I was just very negative towards accepting that I could change and I could grow from within. And I know that that's a common feeling because I've felt it so many different times in my life, but you really are capable of changing from within.

Starts with your mind, your awareness, and doing little things like this. Now, there's a few other things that I did personally that helped me find myself again. And I feel like those are very important to share. But for one, I started reading books. Guys, I hated reading. In high school, when we had to read a book for class, I wouldn't even read it. We would be assigned a chapter a day, and I would still... What's that app called where you can...

I don't know what it's called, but basically it summarized the chapter for me. And I would do that to read books. And sometimes I wouldn't even read those summaries. A good friend of mine, his mom actually told me to read this book. And I actually only read the book because I had a crush on him. I'm just going to be completely honest. I'm not going to leave that part out, but I am so grateful that I read the book.

So this book is called Midnight Library. And I didn't know what it was about. I didn't read the back of it. I didn't look it up. When she said to read the book, I bought the book. And I started reading it. Guys, I read this book in four days. And I think it was the perfect book to get me back into reading because it wasn't necessarily a self-help book. It's a fiction book. But when I tell you that book taught me more...

more than anything, I seriously mean it. It changed the way that I was seeing the world and it changed the way that I was seeing the negatives in my life. It helps you escape your negative thoughts while teaching you how you can avoid those negative thoughts. And the book taught me a lot about gratitude and how to be thankful for what I have and how to be thankful for even my negative experiences.

And it's just super powerful. So if you aren't into reading and you don't think that you can get into reading, I was in the same freaking boat. I did not want to read a book. But when the boy I liked was reading a book, I was going to read a book. So try that. So if you want to read a book and you don't know where to start, I want that to be the book that you read first.

And then after that, I developed a passion for reading. I love to read now. I love to read all different kinds of books. And I like to read a lot of self-help books, but those are hard to read. They are really hard to get into, especially when I can't focus on anything for more than 10 minutes. They get a little bit boring sometimes. So what I'll do is I'll read a fiction book, like any book by Colleen Hoover, and I'll

life-changing so good it's so fun to read her books and another thing I love about reading fiction books is when I'm going through things and my thoughts are a mess when you're so deep into a good book those thoughts completely disappear and what happens for me at least sometimes I'll finish reading the book or finish whatever chapter then I won't even remember what I was upset about or what I was why my thoughts were negative and it just kind of deletes them so I

I don't know if that's just me. It could be anyone else, so I figured I'd share it. And then self-help books just teach us a lot. A lot of things that we not necessarily don't know but forgot about. Just tips on how to love yourself and how to be yourself and how to pay attention to your surroundings and be aware.

Honestly, a lot of the things that I talk about in this podcast are things that I've learned from self-help books or from people who have read these self-help books or TED Talks. Guys, I love TED Talks. And TED Talks are awesome because you can watch someone talk. You don't just have to listen. So for me, that's easier to focus because I'm more of a visual learner and there's PowerPoints a lot of the times. So I can only think of two off the top of my head right now.

But eventually I'll try to get you guys like as many recommendations as I can find. But Breanne Brown, I think that's how you say it. I'm not sure if it's Bren or Breanne. Her TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability, was so good. And it was the first TED talk that I watched. And I'm not even going to get into too much about what she said because I want you guys to go watch it.

But it really kind of changed my view. Breanne also has a book. I have yet to read her book. I don't really know anything about it, but I've heard great things because when I posted that I was listening or watching that TED Talk, a bunch of people swiped up and said, you should read her book. So that's on my list if you guys want to put it on yours too. And then another one, I forget exactly what the title is. It's something like how to eliminate self-doubt and...

The power of the unconscious mind. I think that that's what it is. And he's the one I actually like reference to earlier when I mentioned the subconscious thing. And that one's by Peter Sage. Now I'm just that was good because that also gave me facts. And sometimes it's nice to attach these little motivational things and why they actually work in your brain.

I used to want to be a psychology major, so I love learning about the brain, which is why I think I found that one so fascinating. I also started doing the little things like making sure I liked the environment I was in.

My room before I redid it was cute. It was a great little room, but I never felt super cozy or comfortable or ready to work in that room. So me and my mom redid my room on a budget. Like we got a new comforter from Target. We went to the thrift store. We bought plants and I made my room homey. And I put a little bench in there that I'm pretty sure my mom found on the side of the road. I don't know how she finds this stuff, but she does. Now I always have a candle going and I love to be in my room.

It's hard to work on ourselves when we're in a place that we hate. So make those environments something that you can love. Just do the little things that are going to make you enjoy doing your work a little bit more. Right now, fall candles. If I don't have a candle lit, I'm not going to get anything done. And I've just associated those two things together. And it's helped me. And listen, every single thing that I say in this podcast, in this episode, might not resonate with you.

And that's okay, but I hope that at least one or two things can. We all have a different healing process. And we're all at different points in our healing process. And for some people, healing can take a lot longer than it's going to take for other people. And that's okay. All of this is okay. Everything that you're feeling is okay. Just start small. Another thing that helped me rediscover myself in a huge way was

It's random. It's really random, but it's sweating. Both in college and in Hawaii, I wasn't really working out too much. I was working out in Hawaii once in a while because I didn't like the way I looked, but I never realized how much I associated releasing sweat as releasing stress until it all started to connect for me.

So now, something that I do when I'm stressed is I go to hot yoga. And I try to visualize that the sweat coming out of me is my negative thoughts and my stress just leaving me. So be open to trying that. You never know what the one thing that's really going to push you past that bump is going to be. It could be anything. It could be something I don't even mention. But in all of these cases...

it still starts with you. So don't be afraid to take time for yourself. I think that's the number one thing that I want you to take away from this is that it's going to be impossible to heal if you don't have time for yourself. Both times I felt the most lost are when I wasn't giving myself any time because I avoided being with myself. I avoided being alone because instead of looking at it as something positive, I saw it as something negative. I saw it as me being lonely. But we truly grow the most

in our time alone. When we're actually forced to sit with our thoughts and evaluate them and think about how we can change them is when the most change is going to happen. There's 24 hours in the day and we have school, we have work, we have responsibilities. I know and a lot of people say I'm too busy to have an hour for myself. I promise you're not. Think about your schedule. Find one hour, not even one hour. You can start with 10 minutes a day.

Where it's just you, your phone's off, and you sit with yourself. And in this time, start by telling yourself that it's going to be okay. That you can do it. That you can push through this. You guys, I know what it feels like.

I know how hard it is. And I'm not going to sit here and be like, yeah, it's actually so easy to find yourself if you just do it. It's not. But I believe in you and people believe in you and people around you want to see you happy. You have to choose that now is the time. Now is the time to heal myself.

Life is way too short to spend so long avoiding healing. When I find myself having a bad day or a low day or feeling a little bit lost again, I like to think about how cool it's going to be to reflect on that moment a few months down the road. It's cool to watch your transformation and to watch your growth. So do this for your future self. Be there for yourself and know that whatever you're feeling and whatever you're going through, you're still in there.

And you're going to be shining so soon. That sparkle is going to be so bright that people are going to notice it. I noticed in my TikTok comments that once I started to find my sparkle again, I thought it was something that only I could see. And I would get comments that were like, you're glowing again. You seem so happy. It's so nice to see you happy again. It hits different when other people see you glow. And when you finally get to that point, it feels so good.

And it makes every moment feel worth it. Those moments when you almost had to force yourself to go on that walk or to listen to that podcast or to read that chapter. It's worth it. You have to choose to heal. And you have to believe in the back of your mind, no matter what, that it's going to happen. And you have to be patient. You have to trust the journey that you're on. And you have to trust the point that you're at. And honestly, I want you guys to know,

First of all, that if it feels like no one's believing in you, I promise they are. And I promise you that I believe in you. And I know how capable you are. And I know that you're hurting. And maybe you're not hurting that badly, but you just want to find yourself a little bit more. I know that you're capable.

And I know that it's going to be amazing. Just don't give up on yourself and keep a smile on your face. Promise me that. I could probably go on and on about this, but I think for now, that's what I'm going to leave you with. I want you to start with that. Find yourself, find your sparkle. And even if it's not everything, just try a few of those things that I mentioned. Even if you are feeling on top of the world right now, it never hurts to take more time for yourself and to take care of yourself.

I still don't really know how we're going to end these podcasts, but if you made it this far, thank you for listening. I love you and I appreciate you.

More than you'll ever know. And I am so beyond excited to see what the future holds for this and for us. And I have so many ideas on different podcasts that I want to do and different episodes and different ideas. So stay tuned, okay? It's going to be a really fun journey. And feel free to DM me anything you want to hear me talk about, anything you want to go over. I'm open to every suggestion. I'm open to all the feedback that you guys have.

Just hit me with it. I'm excited. But oh my gosh, thank you guys for listening to the Moments Podcast. If you guys want to follow on Apple Music, subscribe on Spotify, leave a rating on Apple, whatever you want to do, I appreciate you. And I appreciate this. And I will talk to you guys next time. I love you so much more than you know. And I believe in you. Have a beautiful day and I hope you're smiling. Bye.