30: Moments in Exploration
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Hello, my beautiful people, and welcome back to the Moments Podcast. This is the first time in a little while that I've actually sat down and really thought about what I want to talk about and made an outline and really just thought things through. There's so many things I want to talk about, but I'm going to try to keep them all in

kind of in the same topic. And I think that's a cool thing about like talking about mental health. All things connect like a really big puzzle. When you connect all the little pieces, it all just kind of clicks. So it really doesn't matter if I get a little bit off topic or we start talking about different things. And

That being said, what today's episode is going to be titled is Moments in Exploration. And this can mean a lot of different things, and I'm going to go into all the different things it could mean. But what really sparked this idea for me and what made me want to talk about this was I went to therapy the other day, yesterday. I think it was yesterday, for the first time in like a month. And

The last time that I went to therapy, I was in a really angry place mentally. Like I was still, I don't know how to explain it. I was very happy. I was very centered. I was pretty grounded on what I wanted and what the next step for me was going to be. And this was back when I was in Hawaii and I was having the realization that I was ready to go home.

And for some reason, I just felt anger. And, like, I talked a lot about anger and how to work through it with my therapist, my literal queen. I want to have her on the podcast one day. We're going to do that. And also...

I know before I get into everything, I know I told you guys Lissette was going to be in this episode, but she's actually at the gym right now. And I wanted to get this recorded just because I was feeling ready to record, but I'm going to have her on here soon. She's home for the summer. I'm home for the summer. We're going to literally hang out every single day. So you're going to be hearing a lot more from her. And also I know Meredith is you guys' favorite podcast guest. She's going to be in Florida next week. So if we have the time, we'll record one together. And also,

am finally you guys know I've talked about this a lot I'm finally finding some structure in my life some organization some stability some of a schedule and that being said I feel so good right now like I woke up this morning pretty early I've been upset with myself because I sleep in every once in a while uh by every once in a while I mean I've been sleeping in a lot and I

It was not making me feel good mentally, and this morning I got up early, and I took my vitamins, and I drank chlorophyll water, and I made my coffee, and I stretched, and I journaled, and I just, I feel good, and I feel focused, and I made a to-do list, and...

Have so many goals with this podcast that I have been talking about for literally so long Like I think I told you guys about like working on a guided journal months and months and months ago and Something I fail to realize is that those things take time and I just did like a little spiel on my instagram story The other night or last night, but by the time you guys are listening to this it was the other night I don't know if you saw it

But if you didn't, basically what I was talking about was that patience is the most beautiful thing. And I do think that I talked about this in last week's episode. Last week's episode is kind of a blur. I was mentally all over the place in a good way. Just overwhelmed again in a good way. Just a lot going on. But I talked about that because...

As I've had these really big goals and these really big dreams, I kind of get upset with myself when they don't happen right away. And what I'm understanding is that all of the beauty comes from the journey. And I'm going to talk about that more as I get into the episode, but...

Again, I'm getting really off topic. What I'm trying to say with that is that these things like the journal are coming and I have plans to make this podcast more than just a podcast, more of a community. And I want to sell things like sweatshirts and journals. And I have all of these ideas and they're going to come to fruition. I just don't know when I'm being patient with when the universe and when God wants me to do that. But I do feel it's coming soon. I have this really good gut feeling.

Also, while I'm on the topic of that, speaking of gut feelings and like knowing that things are coming soon, I was making some like funny TikToks on my spam account the other day. If you guys don't follow it, you can get the inside scoop. It's potatoes and grape vibes. I literally just post whatever I want on there. But I was thinking like I'm in my pre glow up era and I don't know if I talked about this on last week's episode because I know I was kind of feeling it then too.

But I'm in this era of like knowing that so much good is coming and it's not here yet. Like,

But things are starting to make sense. They're starting to click in my mind. I'm starting to feel better. I'm starting to take care of myself. And these are all things I'm going to continue to get into. But if anyone else is in their pre-glow up era, please let me know because I think something is in the air. I think something is in the universe. A lot of things have just been like clicking for me. And God has just been giving me signs that it's time for me to work on myself. It's time to level up. It's time to take the next step. And this all resonates back to when I was talking about season two.

Like this is season two. It is happening. We are in like the intro, the pilot episode right now. And it's a very, very, very cool feeling. Like the plot is starting to thicken. I'm starting to know what's going to happen. We know all the characters. That being said, let's just get into it. I think the only point that I have written on my outline that I actually talked about in this first five minutes was how I went to therapy. And I was talking about anger last month and this month.

After my little session, my little hour, Jessica, my therapist, my queen, she goes, you seem so grounded. And I was like, I feel grounded. She's like, yeah, you're always pretty grounded. You're always pretty centered. But something about talking to you today, you literally just seem like...

you're very comfortable with where you're at and you're very okay with being here. And you're not like constantly looking for what's next. And obviously she meant this all like in a good way, because I do struggle with always wanting to know what's next and what's coming and how I'm going to get there and what it's going to take. And she's like, you're just here and you're genuinely present. And it's a beautiful thing to see. And that made me feel good. And it was just a little reminder that I want to share with you that I

Your aura does radiate. And like the things that you think, whether you say them or not, people can feel them. And your energy is real. And you want to give people this centered, this grounded feeling when they're talking to you. I don't know how to explain it. But really what I'm trying to say is just be present. Just be here. And while I'm on the topic of therapy, I do want to tell you guys some of the takeaways that I had from...

Little session because obviously I'm not gonna get into the personal stuff that I was talking about But something that she explained to me that I thought was so cool and beautiful is that love can grow and I think this this can go for Friendships and relationships and anything really love isn't something that has to be there immediately It is something that can grow over time as you work on building trust and respect and all these different things and

they can come over time. And I know that that doesn't really relate to the episode, but we could make it relate to the episode by saying we're exploring love, you know, we're exploring being open and understanding that love doesn't happen right away. And I think another huge topic of this episode is just going to be patience and, and just being along for the journey and, and not always looking for the destination, you know, and,

I honestly do get a couple DMs every once in a while about people. Like, I need advice on boys. I need advice on this and that. And I'm not the best person to ask for advice. I've had one boyfriend. But I do think...

It's cool to know that love can grow. And when you meet someone, it doesn't have to be all magic right away. You can build a friendship first. And honestly, I think that's the most important thing when it does come to a relationship. You have to build a friendship first because if you don't have a genuine friendship with someone, you can't expect to have a beautiful relationship with them.

Have always said that Friendships are relationships and relationships are friendships and I know I've talked about that on here before But just give the same energy to both treat your friends like you would treat a boyfriend You want to take care of them? You want to love them? You want to be good to them and treat a boyfriend like you would treat a friend you talk things out you talk things through you have love and respect and communication and

That's all I'm gonna say about that just because I don't really have much more advice. I had to do a quick little pause right there because my microphone actually ran out of batteries and I feel like in a different mindset I would have let that totally just like kill my mood but I didn't. I just put the new batteries in and I moved on and I know that might sound like a small thing

But you know, like sometimes you're super irritable and like even the tiniest things bother you in a situation like that. If I was in that kind of mindset, that's exactly what would have happened. And I just think it's cool that I didn't let it bother me. I let it happen. I moved on and now we're back and we're rolling. So another thing that I talked about with my therapist was that balance is more of a mentality. Like sometimes your life can't be balanced. Like things change.

Sometimes life is out of your control and you don't have time to create balance for yourself or for anything. And she said that she was actually talking to a different client about the same thing. And she was saying that...

Even if you can't find balance in your life, you can find balance in your mentality. And I think that you can take that in any way that you'd like. I took it just in a way of like, if there's like five days where I am so bummed, so lazy, just not bummed. I'm just lazy and I'm sleeping in and I'm not really working too hard and I'm just kind of

going easy on myself in a way instead of mentally looking at that it's like oh I'm I suck like I'm the worst like I'm not doing anything I can choose to look at it from the perspective of like okay well think about the five days before when you were working for hours on end just to create something that was all behind the scenes that nobody else could really see on the surface like just justifying things sometimes because that is what you deserve and and yeah just take that as you will

Another thing we talked about in therapy before I get into what I actually really want to talk about for this episode is that sometimes space is a beautiful thing. And...

Thought she meant just from like people, you know, when you hear I need space, like it's usually just from people and she elaborated on it more and she says, no, you can take space from everything. You can take space from the issues that you have in your life. You can take space from needing to know everything that's coming, whether it's your future or needing to know what this person is doing and why or what you're going to be doing exactly two days from now or you can...

take space from love, you can take space from people, you can take space from anything and it's all in your control. You get to choose what you focus on and obviously it's way easier said than done but when you really do it, it makes a world of a difference and without getting too into it, this related a lot to my life in Hawaii. There were certain things there that I couldn't really take space from or I didn't know how to take space from them maybe, not sure exactly how to explain it but I

By moving home, I was taking space away from taking space from what I needed to take space from. And it has completely given me like a full one eight. Like I've done a one 80 on how I feel like I feel so much better now.

And it's just a reminder that sometimes you need space. Whether you know what you need space from or not, just start to weigh out your options. Feel it out. Do a journal entry. Literally journaling will bring so much out of you that you don't even know. And I got a DM asking, like, how do you journal? And obviously, it takes time. But when I first started journaling, I literally just sat there with a pen and paper or in the notes of my phone and wrote down what was on my mind. And as you start writing...

I promise you'll keep writing and you'll be like, oh crap. Like that's what I was feeling and that's why. And things will just start to click. You just have to start writing, whether it sounds stupid at first and you're just like, I ate a banana for breakfast today. Then you'd be like, oh, and it made me feel good. And then I worked out and then everything just clicks. Just try it out. Take it one step at a time. And then eventually you can like literally just Google journal entries. And before you know it, you'll be able to buy my journal that has 10 million thousand prompts with affirmations and goals and,

All these things. There's so much. I'm so excited for that day to be here. But for now, it's not. And we're not there yet. So we're going to be here right now. And yeah, I guess that kind of relates to the next thing I wanted to say. I'm just kind of reading through my outline. So if everything gets a little lost, it's because my brain jumps from point to point really, really quickly. But along with the space and along with the journaling and along with the thinking about things and becoming aware, my therapist was talking to me about deconstructing my thoughts.

And by that she means you could journal about it, you could just think deeper on it. I was explaining to her that I used to get really upset with myself when I would sleep in. And all this kind of ties together. I would tell her I would get really upset with myself when I would sleep in. And...

What I've been doing lately is when that does happen, I'll just kind of allow myself to be okay with it and see how I can move forward in a better way instead of sitting there and dwelling on the fact that I slept in and how it's like ruined my day and this and that because if I sit there and I dwell on that and I choose to focus on those thoughts, obviously I'm not going to feel better. I'm only going to feel worse, you know?

But I have the choice. If I deconstruct that thought, I'm like, okay, no, there's room to add this thought in there. Like, oh, I slept in, so now I'm extra rested, which means maybe I'll have more energy. Or just making things by the way that I think about them. And it all just says, it all just comes back to mindset is everything.

Moral of the story, now that we're all these minutes in, the title of this episode is Moments in Exploration. And that's because in therapy, I was talking to my therapist about how I'm trying all these new things. I'm in this new section of my life, this new phase of my life. And she says, okay, well, you should call this chapter of your life. She's always big on chapters.

And I've talked to you guys about this before, how everything that happens in your life is a chapter. She's like, this chapter for you can be exploration. And I came home from therapy and I journaled about it and I've been thinking on it. And that's why me and you are here talking about it because it can relate in so many different ways. Like it can be, it can be,

relatable in anyone's life I think is what I'm trying to say like this is a chapter of exploration for all of us and by that I mean I'm just I'm exploring new structure I'm exploring a new season I'm exploring new things I'm working on releasing my inner child I'm just I'm living and I'm loving every step of the way and I think that this mindset has brought me so much comfort and

Because I often get really, really upset with myself when I don't stick to what I know works. And I've gotten to a point, like work-wise and social media-wise, where I know what works. I know what can make me grow. I know what people want to see. I know all these things. But those things aren't what are bringing me joy 24-7. Like, yes, I still like to do them and I love to do them. But what I'm trying to say is that

Lately, I've been remembering that I'm only here doing this right now because I chose to step out of my comfort zone in the first place, and I was doing it at the happiest state of my life. And it's comforting because when I tell myself I'm exploring new things, I'm also remembering that the only way for me to take the next step and to move to the level up is to

focus on myself and to do what makes me happy and to step out of my comfort zone and to try new things because you really never know what's out there and what's coming for you if you don't like take the steps to kind of get there and then I mean I see how that can actually be kind of the opposite of just being in the moment but what I mean is is that you have to try new things to see what else is out there and kind of in the same way you have to meet new people to know who you're gonna love and

and to like meet more people that you're going to love in your lifetime. The chapter of exploration is really just about doing things one step at a time and giving yourself grace to do so. I've been listening, not listening, I've been seeing this quote. I saw it once actually, but then I've been writing it and posting it. So I feel like I've seen it more, but the quote was, stop being mean to yourself because it's hard to be happy when someone's always mean to you.

And like, damn, that one really hit me because I find myself being so unkind to my mind. And then I'm like, oh, like whatever though. It's just me talking to myself that way. Like it's not that big of a deal. But then I really sat and I thought about it and I was like, you know what? That's a really good point. If someone's always mean to me, of course I'm not going to be happy. Of course I'm never going to feel successful. You know, it's kind of like when no one really tells you that they're proud of you.

You never really feel like you're accomplishing anything. And I've been there. I felt that in my life. And I still do at times. But you have the power to choose the way that you talk to yourself. You can tell yourself that you're proud of yourself. You can tell yourself that you notice all the good that you're doing.

you can do it. And we choose not to because we rely so much on outside validation. We wait for other people to tell us that they're proud of what we're doing, but those people don't often see what goes on behind the scenes. And I feel this on such a personal level because I really do work so hard

And I think talking to you guys, I talk a little bit more about it. But from what people see on the outside, like social media wise, I'm living this dream life. I'm just posting on Instagram and I just get tons of comments on, I'm glitching, tons of comments on like TikTok and Instagram that are just like, oh, so you just like sit around and look pretty and get free stuff. And don't get me wrong. I am so happy.

F'n blessed to do what I do and I would not choose anything else in the world. I am so grateful to have the platform that I have and to be where I'm at.

But what I mean is no one has seen the work that goes into that for the past two years of my life. It's just constantly creating and creating an art, honestly. And I've talked about this, especially on the episode with Anna, is that content creation is an art form. And to take little day-in-the-life videos, you've got to set up your phone before you get out of bed just to get out of bed and turn it off again. And obviously these are simple things and these aren't really what I'm...

these aren't the tasks that i'm talking about that are like the hard work behind the scenes but i'm just saying there's a lot of little pieces that go into creating and doing a social media thing that a lot of people don't see and for me it's running a podcast instagram recording a podcast weekly uploading it to four different platforms and trying to promote it through working with the algorithm on both instagram with reels and stories and posts and then tick tock

Running three different TikTok accounts, trying to grow the Moments podcast account at the same time as trying to grow my personal account and being consistent with posting on all of them and uploading the podcast to YouTube too. And through all of that, trying to figure out what the next steps are and how to make this something even bigger than it is.

All while trying to just be myself and live in the moment. And it just kind of adds up and the tasks are simple, but they take time and effort and passion. And I literally don't even know how I got onto that topic. But the last thing I read from my outline was the quote that you can't be so mean to yourself. I do kind of remember how I got there now.

I understand that a lot of people won't see what goes on behind the scenes from the outside. And I'm learning to just be okay with that, you know, because we don't need other people's validation to keep going. If you validate yourself, I promise you'll find that same motivation to keep going. A lot of people in this world will only support you once they've seen you've made it.

They just want to see you get to the point of achievement. And I think back to like when I first started TikTok, the amount of crap I got for like being stupid and wasting my time and like no one I'm not doing anything with it and it's just stupid.

The amount of people who used to say that to me, who have come back around and be like, oh, let's hang out. Like, let's go to the beach. Like, we could, like, take pictures and make TikToks. And, like, guys, I swear this doesn't come out of a movie. People who used to completely roast me want to be best friends again. I'm like, I just, I'm not going to put the energy into that. I'm not going to do it. But it's just a reminder that the people will always come back around. And usually the people that have something to say about you doing what's best for you,

are the people who haven't done it for themselves and who haven't found what's best for them. And honestly, just give them your sympathy. Just understand that they're at a different point in their life and you are at a different point in your life and you're supposed to be on different schedules for whatever reason that that is and take what they have to say negatively and just use it as motivation. Use it to allow yourself to keep pushing and to keep working. And obviously, we've all got different dreams and we've all got different goals. And like I just said, we're all on different paths.

I don't want to be a surgeon, but someone out there might want to be a surgeon. And obviously it's going to be a different journey for us both to get there and to reach our goals. But keep doing it. Keep pushing. Keep working. And never give up on your dreams. If there's one thing I've learned in this lifetime and if there's one thing I would tell my younger self, it's just to not give up on your dreams. Because eventually they will become your reality. And you have to work for them. And sometimes they take years to create.

But they happen. And like one of my dreams ever since, I think I talked about this before. I don't know though. I don't know if it was like on TikTok or wherever it was. My dream used to be when I was teaching yoga at 13 to just reach as many people as I can and help them through what they're going through. And I feel so blessed that now that's exactly what I'm doing. And I have this podcast and I'm sharing it with you guys. And obviously, eventually I want to incorporate yoga back into that because that was a huge part of the goal. But yeah,

I literally have a podcast where we can just talk and we can catch up and we can talk about the crap that goes on in our mind that like we don't have conversations about on a day to day basis. And maybe we should. But that's what I'm here for. That's what we're doing. And it's really freaking cool. And I don't think you guys understand how grateful I am for you.

And how awesome this is. And how much you guys have made my dreams come true. And I'm not even trying to get sappy. I'm just like thinking right now about what's to come. And how none of it would be possible without you guys. And...

You guys have always supported me. Even when the people closest to me were like, literally, what are you doing? You guys were in my comments like, I love you. I believe in you. And look at us. We did it. And I want to be that person for you. So if no one's told you lately, I believe in your crazy dreams. I know that you can make it happen. And I know that whatever you are passionate about is what you are going to end up doing because that is your purpose. And I need you to believe that.

no matter what anyone else has to say. I'm here for you and I support you because I know what it feels like when it kind of feels like the world is rooting against you. You'll get there. It takes so much time, but it comes and it is so worth it when it does. There's always rain before the rainbow. It's so cliche, so cheesy, but I'm saying it anyways. This episode of the Moments podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Quickly,

Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode and

I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.

So if you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just have to fill out a brief questionnaire and you'll get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments.

Quick little intermission. You guys know how much I love Thrive Cosmetics. I really don't even need to explain it to you because those of you who know me know me, know I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life, and I use it religiously. Even if I'm getting my makeup done, I bring it with me. Not only are their products high performance, but they also give back to the community. And...

They're good for you. They're the best things in the whole entire world. And lately I've been using their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon. I didn't know what to expect when I tried this, but it is like long lasting and it stays on forever. And there's no dry flaky feeling. I also love to use their Brilliant Eye Brightener. It's like a combo of a highlight and an eyeshadow and it works perfectly on my inner corner. Sometimes I put a little dollop on my nose.

But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.

Now, moving on. I also asked on my story, like, what you guys...

thought it meant to you when you think of a chapter of exploration. And you guys had some really freaking awesome things to say and I kind of want to talk about each of them and then kind of how that has related in my life. I don't know. We're just going to get into it. I'm not going to explain how I'm going to do it. We're just going to do it. So one of the first ones that I read was that exploring a chapter of exploration is

I'm glitching. I don't know what my mind is doing right now. But basically what it said was getting out of their comfort zone and doing scary things that are ultimately going to evolve you and make you better. And I struggle with this one. Like as much as I step out of my comfort zone in a lot of aspects of my life, I still struggle to step out of my comfort zone in other ones. Like I'm not exactly sure how to elaborate on that.

But I will, I would bungee jump, I would skydive and not a stepping out of my comfort zone. But when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone and like a work element or a friendship, I don't know. It's harder for me. So that is something that I'm exploring too, is stepping out of my comfort zone in whatever way sees best for me. And the next one is letting go of so much control and appreciating all that you already have.

I think this relates a lot to just gratitude and focusing on gratitude. We don't understand how powerful being grateful is until we sit and be grateful. And something I started, I think I told you guys to do this last week, is I start, but if you didn't do it, here's your sign again. Go on your notes app and start a gratitude list and just write down everything you're grateful for. Literally from the smallest things to the biggest things, just write it down and continue to add to that list every time you think of something new that you're grateful for.

And I've noticed that for me, this is something that works better for me than like a gratitude journal that I write in every day because I can struggle often with consistency. It's been really nice to have just this ever-growing list on my phone because whenever I do remember to like write down things I'm grateful for, I just go and I do it and it's freaking awesome. And I can scroll through it whenever I'm like feeling down and I'm like, holy crap, I do have so much to be grateful for. And yeah.

That relates to what this person had said because you're appreciating all that you already have. And it allows you to release control a little bit. And it allows you to just work on being present because it is so important to do that. And the next one is...

up your routine and letting go of what won't serve you. And this is a huge one for me. And this is a huge one that I'm working on. And I'm only in like four days into like living in the duplex and like spending a week here where I just wake up in the morning and I knock things out and I get things done. Like for a while, my life was a lot more inconsistent where like I didn't know when I would have scheduled time to like get work done because especially when I was living in Hawaii, I never knew like what I

I was living on the schedule of a lot of other people as well as my own schedule. And with all that I'm trying to do and accomplish, that made it really hard for me to create a routine. And in a way, I'm now changing my routine because that was my routine for a while. And I don't know if what I just said made sense, but I hope that it did. And by changing my routine now, I'm doing things for myself like...

working on somewhat of a morning routine and that morning routine doesn't have to look the same every day and it's not gonna look the same every day if I go out on a Friday night you can bet your ass on Saturday morning I'm not gonna remember to take my vitamins or stretch or write a journal entry but when I can I'm gonna work on journaling in the morning maybe reading if I don't want to journal taking vitamins drinking my liquid chlorophyll drinking my coffee and sitting making a to-do list like

Those are things I'm changing in my routine and I'm adding them to my routine and I'm letting go of what's not serving me and what's not serving me lately is scrolling through TikTok consistently all the time, 24-7.

Again, there is nothing wrong with scrolling through TikTok. I love scrolling through TikTok and I know for a fact I've said this before because I can get upset when I hear people talk about like their perfect morning routines and how this is what they do at this time to this time and this time to that time. And I don't want you to think that that's what I'm saying right now. What I'm saying is that I'm trying to create balance.

and it doesn't serve me to sleep in until 11 and to scroll on TikTok for two hours every single day. But there is certain days that maybe that is what serves me. And really what I'm trying to say along the lines of this one is that do what makes you feel good and add things to your routine that do serve you and that do evolve you to work on bettering yourself and also giving yourself grace when you do want to be a little bit lazy because it's not lazy to rest sometimes.

Anyways, that's enough on that one. Moving on to the next one is meeting new people. This is a big one for me. I struggle. I meet a lot of people like online and like social media and I make a lot of social media friends, but I never really take the next step to actually go out of my way and meet them or like build a relationship with them. I don't know how to explain it. I just feel...

Super comfortable with my circle and I love my friends and I don't often have a desire to incorporate new people into my life. And I hope that doesn't sound bad. Like I don't want that to sound bad. I just am very, very blessed with who's in my life.

that being said, I recently have just gotten closer with some new people in my life and I'm really grateful that that happened and it kind of opened my eyes that, you know, maybe I do want to meet new people. Maybe there's even more people out there that I'm going to love that I'm going to be so close to that could be a soulmate or a twin flame. Like, I don't know. But just...

That's what someone's version of exploration of their exploration chapter was. And I want to incorporate that into my life where it feels fit. And I want to continue hanging out with new people. And honestly, I don't really even know if this relates too much. But a huge thing for me is that I'll get so focused on like working or trying to work that I won't allow myself any time for fun.

And then I realized lately that going out and like doing things and hanging out with my friends and like honestly going to a country concert on a Saturday or going to the club on a Friday is working. And it's not working on like financially wise. Honestly, I just end up spending way too money, but I'm working on myself and I'm working on my relationships and I'm working on being a good friend and finding balance and friendship because I

You guys know Lissette's my best friend in the whole entire world, and something that we struggle with is a lot of times I'll just... We don't... I mean, not struggle with, but I'll elaborate. I won't want to go out because I'm like, oh, but I have to wake up early and do this tomorrow, and she'll be like, but please, like, this is so fun for me, like, I want to. And I'll be like, no, but, like, this doesn't work for me. Like, I have to do this for me. You know, like, that TikTok sound, like, I gotta put me first. That's what I do in a lot of cases, and...

It's come to my attention recently that, you know, friendship is about 50-50. It's about compromise. And, like, what I can do to be a better friend is to go out and to have fun. And I never regret it. I always make good memories. And I'm always glad I did it. Obviously, sometimes I'll wake up with a pounding headache and a hangover. And I'm like, why did I do that? Or, like...

a disgusting amount of money gone from my bank account. But overall, I'm creating memories and that is working on myself and that is working on my friendships. And that is something that I'm also going to be exploring. And the next one is visiting new places. I am a huge fan of this. Obviously, you guys know how passionate I am about traveling.

But I'm also aware that traveling isn't something that's realistic for everyone all the time. And honestly, it's not for me either. And I'm blessed to have been able to travel as much as I am and as much as I want to. But visiting new places doesn't have to mean running away to a new country. Visiting new places can mean going to a different coffee shop in your town, trying a new ice cream place, going on a walk in a different neighborhood.

Trying new things can be small things. They don't have to be these huge, elaborate, like running away for months at a time to different countries. And that is also something that I'm learning and I'm exploring and it's pretty cool. So I want you to like, remember that. And the next one is allowing myself to feel lost and vulnerable. So I'm able, no, let me try that again.

Allowing myself to feel lost and vulnerable so I'm open to seeing what the world has to offer me and I thought that this was really beautiful because a lot of times we do a majority of our healing and a majority of our growing and evolving when we're at our lowest place and It's super cool It's something that you don't think about often but like if you really think back to when you were the saddest that you've ever been Isn't that when you learn the most?

Isn't that when you learn the most about yourself and the most about your boundaries and the most about how to protect your heart and how to protect yourself and how to protect your energy? And yeah, that's comforting because it really helps me understand that if I do go through it again, I know that it's just God trying to teach me something new, trying to give me a new lesson to learn from. And it's freaking awesome.

So I really loved that one. Be open to exploring what God has to offer you when you're not feeling your best because it makes you feel a little bit better.

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The next one is to explore what it's like to stop caring what other people think. This one is so freaking beautiful, and I was talking to my friend Sam, honestly, right before I started this episode. She was talking about how she does freelance photography and videography a lot for, like, weddings and stuff, and she works so hard. She's also bartending. She also helps me with the podcast a few hours a week and...

gosh, I am so grateful for her. But what we were talking about was how like when you're starting a business or you're starting a company, like you have to do the things where you make TikToks and you like talk on camera and you follow the algorithm and all that stuff. And we were talking about how like you naturally worry about other what other people

people think you worry about what other people are going to say when we just kind of talked about this you have to let go of that you have to let go of other people's validation if someone has something negative to say it's because they haven't taken the time to try it for themselves and it's really empowering to just stop caring what people think because you notice that nothing's really stopping you you are the one who's creating that mind block by listening to what other people have to say you can choose to just turn that off and to literally not give a frick you know

So do that. Work on that. Let's all explore that. Let's all explore understanding that everyone's got a different idea of what is successful and what is right and what is perfect. And instead, just explore chasing our passion projects and doing it in a way where we can make money and we can still be... I don't know really where I was going with that. But explore your passion project.

If it's slowly, it's slowly. If you have to work a full-time job at the same time as creating your passion project, you're gonna have to do that. Like, I think back to college, or actually summer when I first started TikTok, I was working a full-time job while also creating content and it wasn't for like eight months that I was able to kind of take time away from that full-time job to make content creation. I hate that, like content creation, to make social media like my full-time job.

Because it's not just content. Anyways, moving on. You guys know how I feel about the whole like word influencer and like content. We're moving on. The next one is exploring what it's like to have no limits, being open to receiving and losing what's meant for you and understanding.

freaking love this one because something that we often do is we're always like yeah I'm open to receiving like everything right and we're waiting for only good things to come from that like we're opening our hearts and our minds and then sometimes God just wants to you know he wants to shit on you

And I think that this was such a beautiful little message because when you open your heart to receiving, you also have to be opening your heart to losing because God is going to try to take, not try. He's going to pull things out of your life that aren't meant to be in your life. And he's going to be like, well, you might not know why this is happening right now, but I promise it's happening for a reason. And it is. It all makes sense eventually. So just remember that, okay? Like, do not forget that. The next one is exploring that I'm unique. And I love this.

This really warms my heart and it makes me feel so good because as we get older, we do have to explore that we are each different and we are all made to serve a different purpose and to chase a different passion. And that's all I'm going to say on that because that's really all you need to know. You were made to be exactly the way that you are. You were made to love this version of you because you are this person for a reason. And again, it'll all make sense when it all makes sense.

just be patient and allow for it to click and the next one was saying yes more love this

Also need you to understand that sometimes it might be saying no more. Like for me in certain aspects, like at certain points in my life, I need to say no to more things because my plate is already full and I might not have the time or the energy to say yes to things if I can't give them my 100% because when I do things in my life, I like to go all in. I like to give it my all, but when I put too much on my plate, I can't, I can't give it my all. So sometimes it's saying no more and sometimes it's saying yes more. Like I just talked about, like,

I feel like I've been saying a lot lately. No, I am glitching. I feel like I've been saying "like" a lot. Anyways, jeez, I am... I'm losing it, but sometimes it's saying yes more. And for me, saying yes more is going out more or just doing things that make me happy more, whether I'm able to work on it or not. Like, work or not. Okay, we're just gonna move on to the next one because clearly this one is making me tongue twisted.

Going on daily adventures is what someone said. And I think that this relates a lot to you visiting new places that are just local to you. They're just in your hometown. A new adventure could be trying something new. It could be going to Michael's and buying some arts and crafts to paint a canvas or buying a new journal to write about new things. Like a new adventure every single day can be something simple. It doesn't have to be something crazy and wild because simple things are honestly what makes us happy long term.

Planning these big elaborate things are like short-term happiness, you know? And I talked to my therapist about this too, and she was explaining it all to me scientifically, so I'm not really going to try to explain it all scientifically because I am by no means am I a professional. But moral of the story, I'm not even going to get into it actually because I do not want to butcher what this is, but...

What I'm trying to say. You have to do the little things that make you happy because that's what builds long-term happiness versus just immediate short-term happiness. Because then you're always chasing the next big thing. But when you're giving yourself little bits and pieces of happiness along the way, you'll notice that you don't chase those big things as much. And I think that that's something we could all benefit from. The next one is allowing yourself to fail. And we've kind of talked about that. Like you just have to...

Understand that you're going to fail sometimes. It's all part of the journey. It's part of the process. It can't all be perfect rainbows and butterflies right away because then the journey wouldn't really feel worth it. The journey is worth it when you do fail and when you do go through pain and when you do go through hardship. And the next one is inner child healing.

And I have been literally doing this like no other lately. Like me and Lissette have been going and like coming out of our two-year retirement. We've been tumbling at the park. We've been rollerblading. I got an endo board, which is a little balance thing. You guys will see it on my TikTok and my Instagram, I'm sure. I actually just posted with it somewhere on an Instagram picture slide. But literally doesn't matter. Why am I telling you guys that?

And we've been learning how to cook in my new house. And we've been going on walks. And we've just been having fun and acting like little kids. And there is nothing that brings me more joy. And I think that it would bring us all a lot of joy. So let's all do that. Let's all release our inner child a little bit more. And the last one that I'm going to get into is...

Be still and be present and look at the big picture. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I was going to say. A lot of times I tell you guys to look at the big picture when things are hurting and when things are hard. I'm like, look at the big picture. This probably won't matter in five years. But another thing that we're capable of doing is instead of looking at the big picture, sometimes it's beautiful to look at the small picture and being grateful for the little things in your life. Like right now I'm looking around my little house and I'm

In the big picture, there's absolutely nothing done in here. I have no couch, I have no rugs, my kitchen's not totally done, I don't even know how to design a house, but in the small picture, I'm sitting on the one chair that I do have, and I'm looking at this little ottoman that has become my new favorite thing where I keep all of my journals, and I have a little rug that used to be in the van that no longer works.

And I have this mirror that I got that I don't know where it's going to go yet, but it's going to go somewhere. And eventually it's all going to come together. And in those moments, the small picture is beautiful. And that's what I'm going to choose to focus on. You have the control to look at either picture. So do as accordingly as you need and look at the picture that feels right. And last but not least, there's one more thing that I want to share with you guys.

The day that you plant the seed is not the day that you enjoy the fruit. And someone left this in one of my little suggestion boxes on Instagram and kind of relates to it's about the journey, not the destination. But I really enjoyed this one. And this one soaked in a little bit more because, again, it's just a reminder.

that things take time and that is truly the most beautiful part and you have time to explore it all and to see what works best for you and if you're listening to this, I know that you're still young and even if you're old, you're still young. You still have so much life ahead of you to figure things out so it doesn't need to be figured out right now. Explore joy, explore happiness, explore doing what you love and surrounding yourself with people that you love in this chapter of your life. Please.

That is exactly what I want you to do. And if you're still listening, you're still hanging out and you're still here, please go write the podcast, like the podcast, share it with your friends. I'm so ready to take this thing to the next level and yeah,

Obviously, there's things I can do to do that, but with you guys' help, I think we could do it even more. Share it with your friend. If you have an episode that you really enjoy that you think someone you know could benefit from, send it to them. Let's get some more listeners. And if you guys have friends and you want to, even if they don't want to listen, if they want to still rate the podcast or follow it or download some episodes...

It would mean the world to me because I think that we could all benefit from some of the things that I share only because I've benefited from learning them and telling them to you guys, you're benefiting and then you're sharing them and we're really just making the world a better place whether we realize it or not. And I'm grateful for you guys, like more than you'll ever, ever, ever know.

Thank you for everything. And follow the podcast Instagram. We're getting closer and closer to 100K, which is absolutely insane. And this podcast is taking the next step. And we're leveling up. And if you guys don't know, if you're still listening on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, you can watch it on YouTube now too.

Which is cool. So cool. You don't have to, of course, but if you want to, if you want to see the little setup that I'm in right now and watch it grow into eventually its own little podcast studio, feel free to do so. I love you guys. And I'm so grateful every single day. You guys make my life better. And I'm happy for you. And thank you for sticking around for all of my ups and downs. I'm sure there'll be more downs and I'm sure there'll be even higher points in my life. And you guys have been here through it all. And I'm here for you too.

Anyways, I love you. Thank you for listening, and I will talk to you next Monday. Maybe we'll have a special guest, actually. Maybe it'll be Lisette. Okay. I love you guys. Goodbye. I hope you have the best day in the whole entire world and the best week ever because you deserve it. Let me know what you guys want to talk about, and we'll do it. Goodbye.