72: Struggling with body image (With my therapist)
01:11:28 Share

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot.

Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage, all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Hello, my beautiful people, and welcome back to the Moments Podcast. I am back with a very special guest once again. You loved it the first time, and I think that this episode is going to be even better and even more valuable. And I just think that there's a lot of things that we're all going to be able to take away from this, and it's going to be very special. It's also going to be very real and raw and just...

We're going to be talking about body image. And I'm with my therapist again. And she's one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. And I don't want to hype her up too much because I just... I know how that feels. But she really is one of the most impactful people in my life and has taught me so much about myself and my mind. And everything that I tell you guys about, a lot of it has come from her. And she does it a lot better with her words than I do because you guys know how I am. But we're going to be getting into...

body image and it's such a Struggle for a lot of us. I think all of us especially if you're here listening to this episode You probably clicked it for a reason. We're all you know consumed by so many different things and so many different people and so many different bodies and so many different standards and like we don't know

I feel like we're kind of at a point where we don't know how to love ourselves properly. And at least that's how I feel personally. So what we're really going to do or what the goal of this episode is, is to just kind of give you a simple and scientific understanding of why the mind struggles with the body sometimes. I don't know. You'll kind of see as we go. We're just going to figure this out. We're going to see how it goes. This is very... It's a hard topic to talk about because...

I don't know. It's just broad and it's very different for all of us. I'm going to hand the mic over to Dr. Leon for a second and she's just going to kind of maybe explain what I just said a little bit. Well, actually, you know, you did a beautiful job because this topic is such an essential topic because I think it affects every single person, whether you are whatever gender you identify with, whatever age you are, because even back

Back in the day when there was no social media and we were sharing with you earlier, there were still other struggles that we all had just differently and where we got our struggles from or how they came upon us. And because this topic is also, it can be controversial because there's a lot of personal issues in this.

the way that people are raised, the experiences that they may have had. And I, this topic is very, very emotional for me too and to help others because I myself used to struggle significantly when I was younger with eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia and definitely

body dysmorphia and as time has gone on although I certainly would like to say I feel very much in a much healthier place and I've learned how to work through that I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that there are still many days and not even just days certain hours I can be feeling one moment in one hour or one minute and then look in the mirror again I'm like wait or you just do switch to a different mirror and you're like wait

I'm like, wait, I did not look like that in the mirror. And it's just, it's something that we really are all constantly battling. And I think that we could all just use some insight on like, you guys should know that before we start recording this podcast, we sat here for probably over an hour and just like, not even procrastinating, but talking about all sorts of things and talking about all the things that we're about to tell you, but just kind of on our own, I guess, off camera, off audio. So yeah.

We're just like talking through how we're all struggling and how social media has made things, you know, I think more extreme and we're all consuming things from such a young age. And I don't know how old you are listening to this, however old, any age, this is something that I think we could all just gain some knowledge from and understand. Cause for me, especially I,

I've struggled with my, we all have, but I struggle with my body image and when I can understand why I think the things that I think or how to shift them in a scientific sense, that's when things actually shift for me in my mind. And I think that that's why this therapy that we've been doing for however long it's been now has been so helpful for me because you teach me like this is what's going on in the brain and this is why it's happening. And it just helps me.

have so much more understanding and awareness of everything that it just, it makes it all a little bit easier. So yeah, I think that for, for people, there's a little bit more of a confidence or security in the understanding of why we may be doing certain things or why we may not be doing certain things. So to me and in my work, I really try my best to give such a, a simplistic perspective

but scientific explanation of the why behind all of this. And when you shared what we were gonna be talking about, I really did feel that, especially like for an intro topic of this, that it's important to understand why we have certain views of body image in the way that we do.

And then after the understanding of it, to give some tips on, you know, ways to counter that. And you'll probably hear me say this a couple times in this podcast. Well, they know that I am the queen of repetition. And like when I have something in my mind that I want to get across, I will say it over and over and over again, week after week after week. And they know that. That's smart. They love the repetition, I think. If they're still listening this far in, they love it.

so so you'll hear me then say this over and over is that i don't think at the end of the day the goal that would come from all of this is to eliminate the issue in ourselves of having a body image um distortion or situation it's that we are significantly reducing the amount that it impacts us or the amount of times that it pops into play

And the amount of times, too, I think that it actually physically affects the things that we do. Right, the impact. Yeah, like, alters our lives because I think I've been in different phases with my body where sometimes it is so much more just, like, mental, but I won't stop anything that I'm doing. Like, I'm constantly thinking negatively about what I look like, but I won't physically stop myself from going somewhere. And there's been other times where I've struggled, and I just won't leave the house if I don't have to, you know? Like, I don't want to go see my friends because I don't like the way that I look. And it's just sad because...

my friends don't give a shit about what I look like at all and I shouldn't either but I

I think that all these tips are just going to be very helpful in that sense where it's like you don't have to stop your life. Right. And maybe for your audience also to understand too is, and when we talk about things and we say the word continuum, what it really is like a scale. Like there are some people that may have a thought that pops in or they may have a certain mindset about it. But again, it doesn't really impact anything. Whereas you may have someone that it's so significant that the obsessions are

Whether it's the amount of time someone's looking in the mirror, the things that somebody is doing to themselves to alter their image or isolate themselves. So we want to make sure that they're saying a problem isn't a problem unless it's a problem. So when it interferes with your functioning, it interferes in your social relationships.

Then then we need to do something about it because that ratio is off that balance exactly So if you want what we can do is cut start with I the four different ways that we actually See feel and think about our body. Yeah, let's definitely do that because she told me these before we even started and I

I was mine, but like, I don't know. I never have thought about it in that sense. And even just you saying that gave me so much more of an understanding. I heard it like three minutes ago and I already feel different. And it sounds like really cheesy, but sometimes it is just understanding why. And then, yeah, you guys, like you'll hear this, you'll be like, wait, that's a really cool way to think about it. Anyways, let's hear them. Thank you. So we'll segue right into, first, it's important for you to know that the way that you see your body,

is perceptual. It's basically meaning that it's not necessarily what really is there, it's the way that you see it, so somebody else can see something entirely different. So perspective, we hear in perception, is not always real, but it is what's in our mind. It's our reality. So that's one way that you have to first see how are you perceptually seeing yourself.

Second, the way that you feel about your body is the affective aspect with how you view your shape, your weight and particular body parts. So if you magnify things, if you have expectations that they are supposed to look a certain way, then that affectively is going to alter the way that you feel in your skin.

Then there is the way that you think about your body, which is your cognitive image. And for any of you that were on, listened to the podcast in the beginning and we talked about ants, the automatic negative thoughts. Yes, these cognitive distortions.

So those will have a tendency to definitely distort the way that you think about your body. So when you become maybe perhaps extreme, perfectionistic, very negative self-talk when you're honing in and focusing only on maybe one aspect of yourself that you don't like. What an example of that be, like I'm just thinking personally, like this is something that I've experienced before, like say I have like a really good workout in the day and I feel really good about myself and then like we go out to dinner and I'm like, oh I have

don't really want to eat order that cheeseburger because then it defeats my workout like would that be the cognitive or would that fall into a different category yeah so that might be a little bit more which is the fourth you always do such a great job in jumping ahead I do get ahead of myself but no that would be behavioral because behavioral has to do with the actual things that are that are interfering what we're willing to do or not do based on our

of those other three ways that we make meaning of what we're seeing and what we're doing. So withholding something from yourself based on your mindset would be more of a behavioral concept. The cognitive would be like this. So let's say

Okay, I can tell you. So I had twins. They're 18 years old now, so it's been a while since I had them. But I might look in the mirror and have a moment or a day or a few days where I'm just like, oh my gosh, like some extra skin or my stretch marks.

And that would be focusing in on one small, small aspect of my whole entire body that was strong enough to hold my two babies at once, to birth two babies at once. So the fact that my mind is only seeing such a tiny aspect of the bigger body

positive aspect of what my body was able to do, what I'm still currently able to do, that would be an example of a cognitive distortion. Okay, I see. Of the way we think about our body. But again, you know, there's a lot of understanding deeper to why we may be experiencing the unhealthy patterns in these aspects.

So for example, I will give you a pointer in what are the different things that can help, you know, move through the problems. Your mindset.

Your mindset, and as we talked about again in that first podcast that I was on, is everything. And you guys know since day one, mindset is powerful. And it is a game changer in every sense, in every aspect of life. And I've told you guys that time and time again. And now you're hearing it from the real professional. This is the one who taught me about mindset. So...

Yes. So think of your mindset as like your mission statement. It's the way that you go into every problem and how you handle everything. So we develop though our mindset based on a few things. One is the family. How you were brought up. However you define what your family is. What were the messages that were around or that were actually verbalized?

sometimes there are messages that our parents may have said unintentionally about something they saw on TV or someone else, not even realizing that there was an impact on the way you interpret that. There's been a lot of conversation, I guess about, it's kind of turned itself into like a little meme. Like people say like there's these,

like an almond mom. So that's a mom who like doesn't keep snacks in the house. Like always make sure her kids is like only eating healthy food and fruits and vegetables. And then there's other families that you're going to grow up in where like my house, for example, all we had was junk food. So I never ate a vegetable. And I think both have, you know, their pros and cons and you need like a balance within that. But yeah,

It kind of goes to show if you're raised one way you're gonna continue to be that way. I don't know. Absolutely It's it's because you're being ingrained and wired to have a particular mindset and you're around those people most often so for comfort levels if you're not wanting to feel so different and unique and That's where you're learning it from but also let's not deny that the peers that we hang around again no matter what age you are the people that you surround yourself with

Are they having a lot of negative self-talk? Are they choosing to skip meals? Are they choosing particular things to eat or not eat that may be kind of... A fact of you. Yes, when you didn't originally have an issue. So, you know, it's being aware of the family.

the friends and then the piece that's so realistic right now which is social media the biggest one social media i certainly am not here to bash anything about social media because there's so many wonderful aspects to it but it has given us an amplification or a magnifier glass to things that may not be so healthy and so because of the fact that it's also so easy to access

We have to be so careful. Everything's right at our fingertips. Exactly. And everything that we... We were talking about this before we started recording too. Like your For You page or your Explore page or your Instagram feed or even your Facebook. Every social media feed that you go through is going to be catered just to you. So the content that you interact with more or watch more times or send to your friends, that's what you're going to get more of. So you kind of can like alter what you're seeing. But for the most part...

I'm interacting with things I don't necessarily... That aren't healthy for my mental health more often than I'd like to be. So then I'm seeing more of it. And then I'm wondering, you know, why do I keep seeing this? And it's because I'm, you know, doing it to myself. But... Yeah, like what you focus on grows. Exactly. And like mentally, so much, yes. But even physically. If I watch this video 10 times wishing that I had whatever it is that this person has, you know dang well that TikTok is going to keep showing me people that have it and make me want it more and...

It kind of sucks but it's really cool too because you can alter that in the other sense where if you see a video that really makes you shift the way that you're thinking about something or something that makes you feel better or inspires you, you watch that video, you send that video to your friend to inspire them too, you're going to be shown more of that. And it's a slow process but you can alter what you're consuming to be better for you because we can't really just turn it off. You can say all you want.

just delete the app. That's not really how it works. No, I don't think keeping yourself from things, it's teaching yourself how to use things effectively. And I'll go into more just because I think you're bringing up such great points on the ability to control what you can versus what you can't. You know, the mindset piece is,

and knowing social media, family, experiences, friends, those are really just a foundational opportunity for you to say, so these are the components that have shaped my understanding or my message about food and about myself, then let me really deconstruct

Where did I learn it from in any of those and can I start reframing or rewiring myself to think differently? A personal example is growing up with a grandmother who was a Holocaust survivor. So the nature of a Holocaust survivor means basically like they're not eating. There's no food. There's, you know, a lot of, a lot of issues around food. And then so my mother who

who raised me as well, will also have a mentality based on how she was raised by my grandmother. So for me to have taken on through life certain aspects of food, and perhaps they may not have been the healthiest, I know the source of where it generated. So I knew that that was an area I had to create reframes and strategies. Which is really cool to think about because I've never really backtracked

and tried to figure out what it was that really kind of like threw myself off with my self-image and everything. I would really have to think about that to go back and pinpoint it, but that's super valuable because I think that when you do that,

Yeah, it's such a good start on understanding why and how to work through things. A really sad example is just a client that I had, a very young client, and she had a horrible view of herself. And when we really deconstructed where did this come from, it was in elementary school when a boy just was saying something silly, probably not ever realizing that this was going to stick with her forever and create her relationship with food. And so when we looked at, she's an adult now,

And so this is from a while ago. And for her to have realized that her whole mindset about herself stems from something an elementary kid said, it was so powerful to realize that, okay, that had a lot of power, but we certainly can create a more substantial foundation of how to create a healthier relationship with yourself and with food. Exactly.

Yeah, and I mean, that makes me think of, you know, how I grew up hating my freckles so much because people in elementary school called me like, they just said nasty things. Like, they weren't cool at the time. And I grew up hating them because of those comments from six-year-olds. And yeah, boys didn't like me and boys would say I looked like this and looked like that and they would always end up liking my friends. You know how kindergarten, elementary school crushes go. Like, it was, it messed with me at such a young age.

a young age and I think that just you know kind of held out for a long time and I'm finally at a point where I love them but it is crazy to think about how it can affect us from so little like so small so so and because of the power and that impact what I think is important especially in this category before we go on to other strategies and tools is to look at the words that we choose when we are talking about health

food, body. So a lot of times we will use words like thin, fat, workout versus wellness, strong and strength, health, why we go. It's not just to look good, but really it's all about brain health and to get the blood flow in your body and the oxygen flows. So the

It's very important to recognize that perhaps certain words even just can be changed and shifted to give you more of a motivation or a different mindset.

Quick little intermission. You guys know how much I love Thrive Cosmetics. I really don't even need to explain it to you because those of you who know me know me, know I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life, and I use it religiously. Even if I'm getting my makeup done, I bring it with me. Not only are their products high performance, but they also give back to the community. And...

They're good for you. They're the best things in the whole entire world. And lately I've been using their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon. I didn't know what to expect when I tried this, but it is like long lasting and it stays on forever. And there's no dry flaky feeling. I also love to use their Brilliant Eye Brightener. It's like a combo of a highlight and an eyeshadow and it works perfectly on my inner corner. Sometimes I put a little dollop on my nose.

But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.

So refresh your everyday look with Thrive Cosmetics, beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com slash moments. That's Thrive Cosmetics, C-A-U-S-E-M-E-T-I-C-S.com slash moments for 10% off your first order. You're going to absolutely love it. I pinky promise you. Have a beautiful day. Back to the pod. This episode of the Moments Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Quick

Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode. And I'll see you in the next one.

I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.

So if you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just have to fill out a brief questionnaire and you'll get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments.

And I think that that's a huge one for me. And I guess my relationship with food, again, this is another thing we're talking about before we even started recording. Like I have began to view food as something that is going to fuel me, not just physically, but mentally as well. And like, I've been able to kind of read and like learn a little bit about what foods are going to affect me how. And I know that like healthy fats are going to help me with this, this and that. I wish I could remember exactly.

I don't remember exactly what they were now, but eventually we'll get to that. But I have just learned that not only does food fuel me physically, but like it gives me more energy. It makes me less irritable. It makes me more motivated. And when I view food that way, I'm so much more excited to eat it. Like I'm not thinking about what it's going to do to me physically. I'm thinking about what it's going to do to me mentally, which is just a cool thing for me because there's been so many past versions of myself that only cared about my physical appearance and like,

what I looked like. But it's strange because when I focus on what it's doing for me mentally and how it's fueling me on a bigger scale, I feel better about myself physically, which is, it's just, it is very cool to, to,

So, you know, my favorite quote is 90% of life is the meaning we make of things that happen. Yeah. And I tell you guys that all the time. And she's, she's the one. So what you're doing right now, when you just said that is you're creating meaning on why you're eating that particular food. You were, you were identifying that this actually is brain health. This is giving you value. Yes. And like, um, I don't know the word I'm looking for, but yeah,

Yeah, giving it value, making it worthy, like knowing that it's deserved and it's fueling me and like, I don't know, having gratitude and appreciation for it. Sure, when you're eating antioxidants, when you're eating omega fatty acids, there is a real science behind those in our brain. So it's going to particular cells and different lobes in our brain that are related to our decision making, our energy level. It's so fascinating. So that is why... I totally have to take a nutrition class because when you really think about it, like...

It's wild. Yeah. It is. How food actually does fuel us. And it's not... I think that's something I just want to touch on before we even get into, like, the tips. If anyone's listening, like, I want you to know that, like, what's the way I'm trying to describe this? We'll get back to it, actually. Totally lost my train of thought. That's okay. I do this often. I do this all the time. It's okay because, actually, I was going to say that happens in our sessions and then you wind up remembering. I remember. Yeah, she knows this the most. But...

Food is deserved. It's not something you have to earn. What is going to carry you through everything? And obviously, we're going to get into the tips and tricks and how to understand this. But sometimes I just need someone to tell me that I don't have to do anything to deserve it. So if you're listening and you're struggling with it, just know that you don't have to do anything. And you deserve to just...

take care of yourself and now we can continue. I don't know why that was just like, well, no, I think, I think it's important because I think maybe you're also using the words like mindfulness to be very aware of not feeling like you're, you're punishing yourself and using food as a punishment or even a reward. So it's that relationship that you have exact, the perception of what food is. And, and if you look at it as an enemy, then you really won't ever find

the way to fuel your brain with mental power, with the physical energy, and the ability to basically deconstruct those ants. You can't really do well in that cognitive power if you're not eating brain healthy foods.

So that is really not something to be minimized. It's to really start to think about what types of foods are you eating? Not so much like, yes, sugar's not good, but not because you gain weight from sugar, because of the effect that it has on the brain. That's what I think you're just really speaking to is the effect that particular foods have on your brain, but it doesn't mean that you don't necessarily eat it and you eliminate it. You're not having to... It's like everything, I'm still... This is the way I kind of view my relationship with food. Like I...

will pay attention to what I'm putting into my body. You know, I want my greens, I want my fruits, I want my vegetables and my proteins and all that. But I also love to eat for the soul. Like I'm going to, if I'm going out to dinner and I'm going to my favorite restaurant, I'm going to get the triple size portion of whatever it is. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it. And I don't have to feel guilty about it. I don't have to feel bad about it. It's like, I kind of tell myself sometimes I'm eating for the brain and sometimes I'm eating for the soul. And like, when I think like that, I do notice that I have such a better relationship with food in general. And I,

It's cool. You wouldn't be as successful if you weren't aware and we hadn't discussed so much about recognizing those automatic negative thoughts. So you're not getting stuck on making something such a big deal. You are not getting stuck on the perfectionistic thinking about the way that you are supposed to be eating. So because of that, that is why you're able to replace those really unhealthy thoughts that you were having before. Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's cool because...

Yeah, like you were saying before, it's not something we can stop from happening, but we can shift it into all of these things, which is exactly what you're explaining. So I'm not going to keep doing that. I just keep getting distracted like I always do. No, I love that you give the examples, though, because as much as I will sit here and talk about the clinical terms or the understanding of it, I really want people to see how it looks in real life. So I think that giving those examples so that they can relate I think are helpful to pay

And I think that's cool too because if I was... I know that if I was listening to something, yeah, you can tell me all the science and I'll absorb a little bit of it and I'll remember things but you give me the science and an example? Yeah. That's when I know the question. So hopefully...

you know, you guys, you can shoot us with the feedback and let us know like if this is a way you like to talk about things or what, but let's, I guess we could keep going. So, so, so the, there has, so the tip, one tip is really start recognizing your own mindset, being aware of your mindset, being aware of how much are you even judging yourself

other people when you're out or when you're looking at people. How much are you doing that of negative self-talk about others? Again, it could be unintentional. It's just something that naturally happens. So, you know, we want to make sure that we're starting to reframe, I should say, like minimize the amount that we're doing. And it may never go away. But if we can do it so much less, because here's where the second tip comes in.

If we're doing that less, that means we have to be doing something more. So what could we be doing more of? Well,

That is a little bit more simple. We can focus on something that has nothing to do with our looks because at the end of the day, what we're really talking about is something that is superficial, that has no relevance to our purpose and to our ability to, to have fun, to have joy, to make it. One of my favorite quotes or expressions or freight, whatever it is, it's like just the thought when you die, nobody's going to be talking about what you look like. Like, that's not what you're at. Like people,

And I think that, like I've noticed too, when I think about my friends and my family and the people that I love in this life, or even when I meet people, the last thing I'm paying attention to is like what they look like on the outside. Like I'm noticing the way that someone's laugh sounds or like how they light up a room or the energy that they bring or the aura that they let release. Like that's what I'm paying attention to. And I think that that's what most people do. And then we put in our heads that people are nitpicking all of our little flaws and they're just not.

Like, in reality, we're our own biggest enemies. Look, let's be real. There may be people who are doing that, but those are people who are very unhappy with themselves. Happy people don't deconstruct other people. That's exactly what that is. It's them feeling a certain type of way and then putting it on to someone else. But, you know, the thing about our...

What kind of thumbprint do we want to leave in this world? The only word that I would ever want to be left with that had to describe how I actually physically look would be "strong." The rest would be that I was kind, that I was so helpful, that I was thoughtful, that any other characteristics would be what my goal is, is to have somebody describe me. But again, the only physical one I would love is, yeah, the word "strong."

Back in the day, it wouldn't have been. It certainly would have been about being thin or having a certain type of body, being petite. That was something that I used to crave. So I do think it is important to also ask yourself why. Why do I need to see a certain bone of mine or my ribs? Or why do I need my nose to be a little bit smaller or for my lip to... And I think that's where it's tough too because when I really try to think about why, I can't...

I don't even know why. Like, I guess to feel more beautiful to other people, but I don't know. I don't know why. And I think that that's where I get frustrated and I think I still struggle sometimes because, like, I'm aware of all these things and I know how I need to shift it. So I try to think of, like, why do I even feel like this? Like, why can't I look past this? And I can't figure it out. So I don't know if anyone else struggles with that in that sense, but what would you –

say to me about that? How do I figure out why? Well, honestly, I would ask you not, if you're capable of not necessarily needing to know that bad, if you're getting stuck and instead replace it with your skills and you're like focusing on your passion, your dreams, your goals, um, you know, the abilities that you have and the capabilities. I

I do think that we do make decisions to feel a little bit more comfortable in our skin. We can have people tell us, but you don't need to. You look just great. But obviously, we're not feeling that. So we can be told all of these things. You can tell me a million times. You can give me all the outside validation. But if I don't have it within myself, it means nothing. And here's where I think we can bring up a great point too. Is that everything is based on a scale. Right.

There are a variety of ways that we all like to enhance the way that we look, whether it's buying clothes a certain size, you know, putting on makeup, adding jewelry, piercings, tattoos. Exactly. I think it's going to be the level of how much or what are we doing, that intensity of it.

So when we look at putting contour, we are literally contour means you are changing the shape of your face so that you either have higher cheekbones or contouring our nose so it looks thinner. Putting on body slimmers. You know, there's a variety of things that we do on a regular basis to enhance.

So I don't want people to get the wrong understanding that you have to be completely organically natural, no makeup, no nothing. It's not really about that. It's about how much of do you need versus what do you want and how much of those two things are interfering in your life functioning. How much money and time are you spending on something that is on the outside?

versus something that's related to your passion and your goals and your skill set. We think that we need the outside to be relevant to our self-worth and our happiness.

Research has shown that is absolutely not true. At all. At all. Like not even in the slightest. No, unfortunately it's not. So we've got to not ignore it, but move away to focus on something different. Because then it's crazy because it's like that's exactly what society puts on us that it is important. And it does add value and it makes you a more valuable person. And it's just, it's not. And it's so hard to escape that. But...

Yeah, science. Science. If you really go back to science, it never does. No. You know, which I think leads us to something we've already talked about in this so far, but now it's really about how do we not do this. It's the word comparison.

I have yet to find anybody, whether you're this big guru, famous, it doesn't matter, that doesn't get caught up in comparisons. Comparison is a human behavior that we do. It is a form to sometimes help us feel like, are we measuring up or are we not? The

The problem is, are we making realistic comparisons? Are these comparisons even something that would be sustainable? Well, yeah, because we were talking before. I compare myself now at the ripe age of 22 to what I looked like at 15 years old when I was not even, I wasn't even a grown-up. I hadn't even grown yet. And I was like, I look at those videos.

at those videos, I'm like, oh, I wish I still looked like that or I was that small. And one, that's not realistic. Two, that's not healthy. Three, I'm evolving into this woman who has woman parts and that's a beautiful thing. Like, I'm preparing myself not even to like think so far ahead but have a kid or I don't know. Well,

Well, that's exactly. So you're currently, when you're doing that, you are replacing those negative thoughts about what I wish I would have looked like, what I'd still look like, or I wish I could have this to be able to give you the knowledge of, but what I'm currently doing is actually healthier for me in the long run. This will actually keep me healthier wellness wise. Um, whether you have, you know, yeah, plans later on to procreate. Yeah. It absolutely does have an, you know, an impact and kind of think about,

my future self, like taking care of her and not just, and I, you know, I'm all for being in the moment, but I don't want to destroy myself now to look a certain way now to have to handle the effects of it. I guess when I'm older, I want to continue to feel myself so that I can continue to live happy and feel good and, you know, take care of future me and protect her and bring up a good point about everything in life really comes at a cost.

So things that you may be doing that you may think are great in that moment can actually have long-term damage. And so when we're talking even about comparisons, and so especially because of social media, we see things so much more often, but we don't really know the story behind it. So we may see a person that may look according to whatever standards you have in your mind, in your mind that looks like perfect or exactly what you're looking for.

But we also don't know their struggle. We also don't know how much they're restricting or what they had to go through or how long they've been doing something to get to that space.

So I think it's really important to deconstruct who and what we are comparing ourselves to. Um, so right. Me looking at someone who may be in their twenties and wishing certain areas of my body would look like that. It is so unrealistic. I, like I said, I'm almost 47 and I had twins. So it's, and that's so freaking cool. It is. That's my word of the day. That's the one I can't

That's the one I can't keep saying, the word cool. That's the one. But embracing the coolness of what our bodies are able to do and capable, correct. And like, I think that that's another thing that helps me so much with just appreciating food and being grateful for it is...

what it makes me able to do. Like I've, I've, there's been days where I'm just so busy. I don't have time to eat anything, but the time I go to bed, I feel weak. I feel frail. I feel tired. I feel like sick to an extent. And the days that I'm fueling myself with everything that I need, I have energy and it feels good to have that. I'm like, this is what it feels like to be a functioning human. And my body is doing so much for me and taking such good care of me. And

It all just goes back to, I think, the way that we think about things or the way that we make meaning of everything. Yeah, it is. Every time. But the mindfulness gets you to do that. And so mindfulness helps in your ratio. I don't think you're ever going to say, there wasn't a day that I didn't skip a meal or I did not eat. But I think that you will certainly be in a space where you say, the majority of the time, I do eat healthy, I'm mindful of what I'm eating, and my mindset is based on healthy mind, healthy body.

Doesn't mean you're not going to have a couple times where it doesn't happen but because your brain has been trained to experience the difference the mindfulness to know this is what it feels like when I don't versus this is what it feels like when I do you will be more inclined to do what you need to do to experience what you're wanting you will align yourself in a way where if you know you have such a busy schedule and

You're like, wait though, I do need to either, whether it's grabbing a bar or where could I grab my smooth, where could I get what I need so I don't put myself in that position where I have no energy or where I feel like I'm going to start like hating how I look. Yeah. Because your mind will not work the same either when you are skipping or eliminating or not eating. Because you're not fueling the brain. Right. The brain is so cool. So cool. Yes. It's so complex. It's so complex.

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're selling a little or a lot, Shopify helps you do your thing however you cha-ching. From the launch your online shop stage all the way to the we just hit a million orders stage. No matter what stage you're in, Shopify's there to help you grow. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash special offer all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash special offer.

Get started with Greenlight today and get your first month free at greenlight.com slash Spotify.

This is like so off topic, but I think it's fascinating. And I don't know if you guys didn't listen to the episode before. You're a brain health coach. Yes. Right? So...

What exactly does that mean? Because every time you tell me, I'm like, that is so cool. And I just, I don't know. I want them to know too, because for sure. Cause I think really that should be what therapy first starts off as. Yeah. I think every single session, such a better view of it in my mind too, because when I, when I first came to you, I wasn't going to therapy. It was more of a life coach kind of thing. And that stigma, it helped me a lot with, you know, getting myself there. Now I think therapy is just freaking awesome. And I'll,

tell everyone to go, but whatever, whatever form of it, it is, I guess. But I think that what you do and the way that you explain things is so cool. And yeah. Yeah. Well, what it is that I, I think happens for people is when you explain a little bit about the operating system, again, simplistically of why your brain does what it does and why it's not doing what it's doing.

What kinds of things can you do nutritionally? sleep wise activity wise Coloring Moving walking all of those things have a connection to the chemicals that we release so I am

give tools and strategies that have everything to do with the types of chemicals your brain needs to elicit for that balance. So I teach you how to provide yourself with happy chemicals and peace chemicals in a sense.

How to shift from having too much cortisol, which is our stress chemical, and learning how to activate another area. So I think really, essentially, brain health has to do with the overarching, the overall...

concept of that is what directs and guides everything that we do. So if you can learn to take care of your brain in a variety of different ways that are healing, then exactly. It really, you become so really powerful. And I really do notice that when I take care of it and when I prioritize it, that's when I feel the best and I want to do the most. And

It's so simple. It takes a long time. And I think obviously I'm forever evolving and I'm always changing and I'm always learning more, but the more that I learned, the better that I begin to feel because I can understand why I feel and why I go through these things. And it's just, you become the driver of your life instead of this passenger. That's, that's just experiencing things and sitting back and

And having no control. Understanding gives you the ability to absolutely do something about it. If you know when you're in a moment what is happening. And then you're like, oh, okay. Well, then I just need to distract myself a little bit. Or say this to myself. Then you're more likely to be able to do it. Because you understand what's happening. So, I feel like that understanding. As opposed to your understanding of why would I need to have done this to feel better. That part I don't think you should...

be so hard on yourself about not having to understand the why like if you're so stuck then now move on and just replace it let's get to the opposite of that but as far as when we're talking about our mindset you know you can certainly do it and don't think it's just going to happen where you think about it right now and that's when your answer is supposed to happen it's over time you can still continue to think about the mindset of how you how it was built

What in school, you know, your experiences and things that you may have heard or even the way that they talked about nutrition or not talking about nutrition could have everything to do with it. So it's just what I'm trying to say for your, you know, the audience is not to get stuck too much in maybe not understanding the why, but...

But at least knowing there's a variety of things to still do to get through it. And it usually is the opposite. Yeah. You know, again, the comparison, it brings me to, and even though we're going to get there in a second, is that social media topic.

The comparisons are important, especially because social media is a huge part of our life. In who on social media are you comparing yourself to? And what kind of message, when you're comparing, are you receiving from that person? And what are you trying to do? So, for example, like I, you know, had always loved...

and listening to like gymnasts and to people who were in a sport, let's say that it was all about that sport. And they're doing that sport, let's say in training hours upon hours and upon hours. All day, every day. All day. So you would imagine their body. And for me, someone who I always loved that the strength, the, what their bodies were capable of doing in the air and on these things, it was just fascinating.

but at such a young mind always like wishing I can have that and look like that it's like the difference between are you fascinated by it or obsessed with it

Right, but look what it comes with. It's giving up. You pretty much have no social life. Sacrificing everything. Sacrificing family, sacrificing free time. And so when you also listen to documentaries or you hear someone's story that may have had this wonderful life that you think, you hear the struggles really that they had underneath.

So be careful sometimes what you wish for because it's just, again, something you're visually seeing. And that's the thing with social media. It is all a highlight reel. Everyone posts, you know, when they look the best, when they feel the best, when they're doing the coolest things. And like, we don't realize, I think that we're all kind of starting to, but like underneath that is a real human who has these real problems that of course they're not going to talk about. They're not going to talk about the big, huge fight that they got in with their mom, you know, the other day. Like it's just,

So you know what Lexi, so that, and that's what I think you're such a beautiful example of is there are now more people who are not just putting their highlights, who are open to sharing the struggles, who are open and transparent to discussing the things that are really real versus not, whether we're puffy, whether we have a stretch mark. So what this now means is we can do something about it.

When you are following people, go and try to put the people that actually are so authentic and sharing. This is all though you're seeing this. This is what I really look like. You know, when they're doing that, like the sitting and they're showing you their cellulite and, and their imperfections. Normalizing what's normal because it just should be normal. Like we are all human and we've all just kind of gotten to this point. Like social media, I think I talked about it on last week's episode too. Just like,

It has so much power and it can be used for so much good. And I think that we all could just like work towards making it a safer place to be. Like just, you know, exactly like you're saying, interact with the content that makes you feel good and feel loved versus what does the opposite. Exactly. So choose to put in your, in your FYP and your, any of your newsfeeds and

companies or people that exemplify the mindset, the healthy mindset that you are trying to achieve. Not something you just wish you would like to look at or that you wish you could be, but more so does it answer the question of, is this a healthy person to follow? Is this healthy for my mindset? Or does this give me so much pressure or make me feel less than?

When I'm watching this. Yeah because there are certain people that I follow. Or certain things that I follow. Or events. Or whatever it may be. I'll sit there. And watch. And watch. And watch. Everything that they're doing. And the whole time I'm scrolling. It's making me feel like shit. Yeah. In which that I was doing that too. And I really gotta stop myself. And like come to my senses for a second. And be like.

What is the point of this? This is doing nothing for me except making me feel worse. And then I try to go after that, do something that, you know, it's going to make me feel better online. Something that's going to evolve my mindset or just make me feel better.

Well, so and I think that that can kind of lead to that last point is, you know, so when we may be on social media and we're scrolling or we're just automatically looking in the newsfeed, that may be an opportunity to specifically do a search on positive body images or how to work on positive body image. But basically, what are you doing in your time on social media?

hold yourself accountable. Are you spending more of your time on social media looking at things that make you feel like shit about yourself? Or are you spending time on social media that when you're done, you feel so much more fulfilled and you actually use that to help you grow? And that's why I like social media can be so cool. And it's such a debate I have with myself back and forth where sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I love it because I love it.

learned so much from that silly little app I learned about a lot of the stuff that's going on in the environment right now that only came to me because it popped up on my for you page and I learned I just learned all these random facts and I hear all these beautiful quotes and like things that I see these beautiful travels that just inspire me and like that can be so good and there's so many great people to follow out there and I think that we just get consumed I don't know why this happens but why are we more fascinated by the things that make us feel worse than the things that make us feel better

Our brain is born with a protective mode as the primary source to be in a position to be like if something's coming at us or to feed ourselves. I mentioned in that first time when we were doing the podcast that we have a brain where the negative part of it is so much bigger than the positive. But as we live through life, we have the ability to grow that positive part so

so much bigger than the negative you just gotta water it we exactly so what you focus on grows and what you don't basically shrinks so if you will like if you are finding yourself consuming yourself with the negatives or the news and hearing all of these messages that can feel scary and anxious you are more inclined to keep doing that but if you force yourself to find podcasts and and

and content that is geared with positive messages and smiles, like there's something called the daily smile versus like hearing about the horrible things. Yeah. You won't have a brain that functions that way. You will default to seeing opportunities immediately and straying away from things that are just so unhealthy and uncomfortable. And it takes time, but it's definitely, it's so doable and it's so, it takes time. That's what I really, really want.

The audience to understand. Because I think that a lot of us, and I say us because, like, me too, like, I expect things to change overnight. I'm like, oh, I woke up early. Why don't I feel, you know, healthy again? Like, why do I still not have any motivation during the day? Or I did this. Why don't I have that yet? Because it takes time and we have to put the work in. And then eventually...

It all kind of comes together. And this is a huge conversation that we've had, I think, a couple of different times. Like, I was like, well, everything's just kind of working out now. And you explained to me that I've been putting the work in for... I think we might have talked about this on the last episode. But I've been putting the work in for so long now that, yeah, you're going to see the effects of it. Like, it... It's a process. Yeah. And...

And because of the fact that it's a process, sometimes we can feel defeated, like we're not seeing it come to fruition, like we're not seeing what we're actually doing. But if you really are mindful and you start to recognize the way that you feel when you are more positive or when you have a better outlook versus staying stuck or getting caught up in that negative spiral or that loop.

you will start to see that difference. You will start to want to prioritize. And then once you see it, it kind of motivates you to do it more. And I do notice that a lot within myself. Like I really tried to focus in on gratitude this year and I've always been, you know, grateful for everything. I love and appreciate everything. Yeah, that's what I say and I do feel it. But this year I really wanted to like

Learn to appreciate the tiniest of things like the little shell that I found on the beach or the little flower that's growing in the grass and I noticed that when I focused on those little things it was so much easier for me to find more things

to be appreciative of and grateful for and just like realize that I really am so blessed. Like, yeah, there's, you know, there's always going to be shit that's going on, but I was saying this to you before too. My family's happy and healthy. I have like, I'm happy and healthy and there's so much good that I have that I can focus on versus everything, you know, that might be falling apart just a little bit. Sure. But like that disappears from my mind if I'm paying enough attention to everything, you know, that's valuable. Little adds up to be big. Yeah.

So we feel like the little things don't matter whether it's good or bad and it's the opposite. They really do because they do add up. So when you have little things that bother you, little, little, little, little, it eventually grows to be this one big thing. But when we have these little things that we're finding joy or peace in, they add up to a bigger picture. It's like it starts with one weed and then all of a sudden you've got a whole field of weeds growing.

that turned into pretty flowers. But that you created and that you cultivated. That's what's so beautiful about it. And so with the power of seeing that this has really been all in your hands the whole time, you just needed to change perspectives. You needed to change your mentality. That's where the change comes from. It comes from within. It comes from our brain. But if we're not treating our brain healthy, we're not sleeping, we're feeding it a lot of unhealthy things. We're

Drinking a lot. Doing drugs. Crazy how it all just connects. What that actually does. Because it all... It's so mind-blowing to me how much power we really do have and how much we don't recognize what we treat ourselves with and do. Basically what you just said. Like,

I don't know, I think back to college when I was going out all the time, like alcohol is literally a depressant. There's a reason that I was depressed all the time. Like it all adds up. I wasn't sleeping. I was drinking every night. I was eating, you know, lots of good food, but like also a lot of junk processed that I just didn't need and I never felt good mentally or physically. And then like kind of being able to shift now into the point where,

I'm really not going out that much and obviously like I still love to go out and have fun but a lot less often and I feel better and every time I drink now I kind of can become aware of like what it does because it's less often and I can compare the college version of myself who is drinking all the time now I'm like oh I wake up and I feel a little you know off mentally and it's just cool to learn. You adjust your expectations I think you bring up a really good point I think it's important to recognize that

Don't know who out there does this and if they do phenomenal but to be perfect where all you're doing is eating the healthiest foods All you're doing every day is everything that's just related to all brain health I don't know how realistic that really is. I don't think it is at all I don't either so not for like where we're at in the world Yeah, no, so there's a lot of good food out there and good wool and anybody that knows me is to go enjoy. Um

I mean, when I tell you, like, so anyone who really, really knows me, I have such, like, an obsession and fascination with sweets. I mean, I went to a candy expo with my sister years ago. That makes so much sense. Yeah, I can totally see that happening. I mean, we shipped home a whole other suitcase of just candy. I mean, so let me be real. Like, I'm not anti-candy or anti-sugar. Okay.

I love soul food. I just know what the effects are and what can come from that. So the idea is this. If you know you're someone that's not going to eliminate alcohol from your experiences, okay, so don't. But...

do make sure that in all of the other areas of your life you're doing as much as you can to take care of your brain so that when there are times that you're not it's not significantly impacting it but also just knowing that for we can just be really quick with this but alcohol takes all of your happy chemicals and gives it all to you at once so it stole it from tomorrow and it stole it from the day after and it stole it from that third day too so now i've never thought of

Like I've, I've known that, but when you say it like that, I'm like, dang, that makes so much sense. It's, it totally stole it because when you get to those days, it's depleted. You don't, you have to, your brain has to now recover. Alcohol is a brain changing agent. So, but temporary, unless constant, constant, then it does long-term damage. But meanwhile, your brain has to kind of get back. That's what happened to college girl me. Like that's.

Like that's where, that's where it went downhill. And I honestly like, I don't want to blame it on just that, but I've learned from a lot of experience now that that played a huge role on my mental health. And I've touched on that in an episode before and I still want to get into that in a different one, just like my whole college experience. But now what I try to do is because obviously I'm still going to want to go out and have fun with my friends who they might enjoy drinking a little bit more than I do. But like when I go out,

I'm going to drink. Like I know myself well enough to know that I'm not going to go have fun in a social setting if I don't have a little something to, you know, get me out there. But I've been trying to incorporate like the next day, like I know I'm not going to maybe feel 100%. I might feel 50%, but I'm going to give 100% of that 50% that day. Like I'm going to go still try to sit in the sauna or still try to go for a walk or still drink my greens in the morning. And like the little things like that,

kind of make me feel a little bit better about it versus in college like if I was hungover nah I'm done for the day I'm just gonna sit down do nothing right so you're just continuing to deplete more as opposed to what you were just saying that you do now slowly giving a little bit back yes and you'll only get a little bit you really won't get what you normally would have but it's still way better than doing nothing and just experiencing the negative side effects of our

of our brain having to reformulate itself back because of the alcohol that you drank. And so sometimes for people, especially when you're talking about college or people at that age where you just have it a little bit more accessible, then you're just more and more maybe the day after again someone's drinking. So your brain's really not ever curable. Well, I used to cure my hangovers.

With more drinking. With more drinking. Right. Because, you know, then they'd bring all the happy chemicals from the next three days. And then, you know, the next day, then all of a sudden I'm like five weeks behind on happy chemicals. And it makes so much sense when you think about it like that. I,

I think that lends itself probably to even like a separate podcast discussion. I was just thinking that. Partying or learning how to find that middle ground or how to party responsibly, whatever way we want to discuss it. But I do think it's important that someone is aware of,

exactly what's going on what may need to happen to kind of like get it and heal it back but yeah just discussing like even being proactive and going into it or something that could be such a valuable conversation and it's honestly been something that I think that people have asked for before too for me to talk about college because I've been very open about my struggles with drinking because it's not like just in college is when I had this whole problem it was

first time I was in Hawaii it was the same thing it was like being in college again because we were going out all the time partying all the time and I noticed it that the same exact freaking thing to my mental health and it's cool to get to a point now where I know what it was I couldn't pinpoint it at the time but to get into that conversation could be so valuable so we'll do that another time for sure because now and now that's what I'm thinking about because it's tough like there is such a way to do it responsibly I feel like isn't the word I'm looking for like

I can't sit here and say alcohol is this and that and bad for you when I love to go drink and have fun. In moderation now, though, because it's more of a reward versus...

Well, that has a lot to do with it. It's how you go into it. So, I mean, again, that's a whole separate topic and a separate discussion, but the why. Is it because you had a bad day? Is it because your friends are? What is driving you to do it? Because that drive that's having you want it will also have a relation to the effect that it has on you and how much more you're doing. And so...

Yeah, it's like a whole other explanation of understanding mine. Okay, that's what we're doing next because I think that especially with this age, like being 22, I see it. Still now I'm going into a different version of the same topic. But being 22, it's so common at our age that going out is like the big thing, you know, and especially if you're living in a big city or if you're in college, it's hard to say no to.

all the time. So we will, we will do an episode on that because it sounds like a lot of fun, but I guess we should probably get back to wherever we were at on our, our list of tips to love yourself a little bit more or understand yourself a little bit more. Yeah. I mean, I think to summarize the actual tips that I pretty much gave would be to look at it like this, you know, number one, it's your mindset and developing a healthier mindset. So you may need to unwire or you may need to just create that. It never even was created before.

focusing on life of the opposite of things that are about physical and the skills and the real true meaning and depth of who we are. So that would be the second tip. The third is the avoidance of comparisons. So the things that we're doing and not doing in our life that put comparisons into play is making sure that we are so mindful and aware of

of where those are coming from and who we are following or we're looking for our messages. And then really being so aware of how we use social media and what is in our feed and what we are being exposed to, who we are being exposed to, to make sure that is aligned with what it is that we're looking for.

again, if we're looking for healthiness, then make sure that we are aligning ourselves with people who are promoting healthy, organic, realistic explanations of life and not just this facade of something that is superficial, which is solely related to the outer appearance. That to me is what I would just distinguish. So valuable. Everything just clicks so much better when you say it. And that's why I'm so grateful that you

like are here and on this podcast because like I said I try to tell them these things right you know how I can be like they don't make sense the same way that they do when you say them but no it's cool because you kind of like in combo it's like sometimes you need the little train that just floats around

Yeah, I think clearly you are doing a tremendous value to our youth. Obviously, you have such a following and for such a positive reason in a positive way. So you are definitely conveying what needs to. I think what I'm adding to this is the true one, that science behind it, the ability to give my over 20 years of experience to

to this to give you the knowledge of what I've seen and what I'm currently researching and still being exposed to. And I think that that's why we make such a great team on this is because you have all these wonderful skills to be able to relate to your audience. And I'm just here to supplement and give the additional information to what you're already sharing. - Yeah, it's cool 'cause I have that 22 year old mind. So I feel like me and all my friends that I talk to, we all think the same

But then, it's really cool to have the actual real scientific understanding. And I'll always think that and I'll always say it. So, it's awesome. And I'm very grateful. I'm just...

In my own right, the way I say it is like I'm still always going to be a kid at heart, a young person. And from my own life story and my own traumas, it's like I didn't really have this young adulthood in a sense. So I love being immersed in it. You get to live it up now. Yeah. And another thing, you never have to age if you don't want to. Like you can just be young at heart forever and that's what I always say. Always healing my inner child every single day. Like making time for play and fun and things that just –

are innocent and like, you don't have to think too much. Just do whatever you love. I have a tendency to be relatable because I can tap into that youth aspect and to understanding again of just the amount of clients that I have that are young adults and hearing the issues that some may struggle with. So to be able to be like a liaison in a sense, or like this additional person, um,

to help and to be a helper with you. I'm just, again, so blessed and honored to be in this space to have this type of impact for people. It's so cool. It's crazy how life brought us together randomly from a mutual friend that I barely talk to anymore. I don't even know who it is. I just know who it is, but I don't know her know herself. It's not even a mutual friend. It all just evolves itself into something new.

And it's always meant to be. And I think, did we cover all the points that we wanted to talk about? I think for just as if like this is an intro to it, I think because it can be so overwhelming and there are so many aspects to what we can discuss, I think that this is at least a great starting point and then your audience can

share with you what to expand more on. Exactly. And like I was saying to her, there's this guy, Andrew Huberman. I probably told you guys about him before, but he is super, super smart and knowledgeable. And I absolutely love to listen to him talk, but he talks in his podcast for like four hours. And I really don't have the attention span for that. And I don't think any of us really do considering we can barely watch a 15 second TikTok without scrolling. So I agree. Like, I think this is a perfect amount of information for people to take in now, start applying it. And then, you know, next time we'll talk about

something else. Absolutely. And then something else. Or if this is something that someone noticed for themselves, like, you know what? I never thought about it like that. Well, I mean, that's what you did for me. Even just today, even though we've had, you know, however many sessions, there's still things you said today where I'm like, wait a second.

That's a really cool perspective shift and I'm going to apply that to my life. And so I would love if just even one person was able to hear something in this that they say, you know what? I'd actually like to figure out a way to do this more. And then they can, and I say, go get help. Go ask someone who's knowledgeable and meaning a professional. But if the area of concern for someone on this topic, their main issue is dealing with

body image issues or eating disorders. I would certainly say when you are looking to find someone to help, look at someone with a specialty or an expertise in the eating area, in the nutritional area, because they will be able to be more effective than someone who may have a specialty or expertise in some other areas. - Exactly. - So I just really, yeah, would want to promote that if there's something maybe even that they heard in this that they're like, "Oh, I never realized this may be contributing,"

Go and explore that. It is so worth it to uncover things that may have contributed to unhealthy habits or an unhealthy mindset. And also just know that getting help is not a sign of weakness. I know there still is always going to be this stigma around it, but...

When I think of someone going to talk to someone about what they're going through, it's so empowering. It's like, okay, I know that I'm struggling with this and I know that I can make it better in a sense. I don't know how to explain it, but it's a sign of strength. You should never feel bad about needing to talk to someone or wanting to talk to someone. We're humans. We like to talk and we like to connect with one another whether we realize it or not. And I don't know, just having a connection where someone can...

I don't know, like whatever it is that we do, like every time I leave, even if I go and I feel great and I'm on top of the world, every time I leave a session, I feel better. I feel more understanding. I just feel happier. And I think that it's super valuable. And it's crazy for me to say that because for so long, you would never catch me going to therapy. Like I just, I don't know, thought therapy was only for sad people, but it's really not. And it's for all of us. We all should. And I'll say that now until forever. But yeah, I mean, I just think that it's,

If you think you're supposed to know all the answers to life, and especially because our schools don't ever teach problem-solving classes, coping skills classes, and they don't teach us about our brain. No, they don't teach us anything about the real world, honestly. So why would someone expect to really know how to handle and do all these things, especially when it's so close to home? Emotional, too. Yeah. Exactly. And this is so funny. You guys have heard me say this before.

I have said so many times, like, any time I leave a session, like, I feel like I went to class, but, like, a class that I actually wanted to go to. It's like taking a college course that you loved where I'm left with, like, notes and new facts, and I was like, oh, I loved that, and I've said that to them, too. It's just, it's cool. It's so, there's me saying it again. It's a different way to experience learning about yourself than when you're going in and only talking about negatives or only hearing all of these negatives. It's a, it's never anything I identified with when I went to therapy. It's just, I agree.

I'm doing what I wish I would have received basically. So that's what kind of led me to, you know, do it this way. It's so great. It really is. And honestly, I want you guys to all, we're getting, I feel weird saying Dr. Leon because I never say that. Like it's just, I, anyways, she's gonna, she's gonna make her way over to Instagram. We're going to make it happen like somehow, some way because she's got so much to share with this world. And I know that she is,

is going to like make it happen and find a way to share it so you guys should go follow her it's therapist underscore to go right so go do that send her a DM tell her she's awesome because she deserves it and I'm so grateful that she's in my life and now that she gets to be in yours too and I hope that this episode was able to help you feel a little bit better and just understand understand yourself a little bit better and I just hope you know you know not to be all cringe and cheesy but you're beautiful and you're perfectly made and you should just love yourself and take care of yourself and I'm grateful for you

And yeah, that's what I got. Any closing notes? I just want to say I am again honored to be able to participate in discussions like this and to try to affect change and make change. And I really, I look forward to feedback, good and bad. It used to make me so afraid to do this. Send it all. But I am so, you know, open to everything and I look forward to our next one. Yeah, this is such a fun and new and exciting little thing that we have going on, but I think that it's really, really great.

And we'll definitely, we'll be back with more episodes. Let us know when you want to hear it. Like from, let us know. Okay. I love you guys. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.